| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:12] | [Ron Howard] Michael and the family attorney | |
| [00:13] | -were visiting Buster in jail. -I take it Mother’s not coming. | |
| [00:16] | -Mom? No. She couldn’t make it. -Why is that? | |
| [00:18] | She said that I could make up whatever reason I want. | |
| [00:21] | You tell me what is easiest on you. | |
| [00:23] | Hmm, no, it’s too mean. | |
| [00:24] | I think you’re entitled, Buster. | |
| [00:26] | She hates you, Michael. | |
| [00:28] | -We’ll use that one. Sure. -Mothers cannot accept the idea | |
| [00:32] | that they’ve raised someone who could do something so vile. | |
| [00:36] | -What? -In my case, twice. Well, | |
| [00:37] | two times, allegedly. Hey. | |
| [00:39] | This falls under client-attorney privilege, right? [moans] Mother’s disgusted by me. | |
| [00:44] | -No. -She thinks I didn’t just tamper | |
| [00:45] | with the evidence, she thinks I tampered with Lucille 2. | |
| [00:48] | -No, no, no. -She must think I’m guilty of murder. | |
| [00:51] | -Don’t say that. -Or she’s busy frolicking | |
| [00:53] | on the beach with Dusty, | |
| [00:54] | -her trophy son. -I should never have put | |
| [00:56] | that image in your mind. | |
| [00:58] | The good news is, you thought I said “frolicking.” | |
| [01:01] | [Michael] I don’t think it’s that. | |
| [01:03] | She knows more than she’s letting on. | |
| [01:04] | Like where Lucille 2 actually is. Think about it. | |
| [01:07] | She made a deal with her. | |
| [01:08] | Or maybe she just tricked her to leave town. | |
| [01:10] | I don’t know, but there is something going on, | |
| [01:12] | and she needs to let that play out, | |
| [01:14] | even if you need to stay in prison a little while. | |
| [01:16] | -[clangs] -[guard] No pounding! | |
| [01:17] | She holds the keys to my freedom, | |
| [01:19] | and she won’t use it until she gets her selfish needs met. | |
| [01:22] | Like when she used to lock me in the bathroom | |
| [01:24] | for grown-up selfish needs night. | |
| [01:26] | -Oh, did we have a good time. -What? | |
| [01:28] | -No, it ended in tears. -Guys, hey, let’s focus. | |
| [01:31] | I’m wondering if there is a way we can get Mom to think | |
| [01:34] | that the DA is onto whatever her scheme is, like, | |
| [01:37] | we tell Mom that the DA knows where there is some evidence, | |
| [01:40] | and then, Mom or Dad slip out and try to get rid of it. | |
| [01:43] | And then I follow them. | |
| [01:44] | What evidence should we say they have, Michael? | |
| [01:48] | Lucille 2’s head in a box? | |
| [01:51] | -Spooky. -Well, no. Hang on. That’s– It’s gotta be real. | |
| [01:54] | Okay, so, if it’s gotta be real, | |
| [01:56] | how about the DA is close to locating | |
| [01:58] | the stair car that she was last seen on, | |
| [02:01] | because they have a picture of it from a security cam | |
| [02:03] | -or traffic light cam? -That’s getting there. | |
| [02:05] | Okay, now inside the stair car are two heads. | |
| [02:10] | One bald, one spiky. | |
| [02:13] | -Spooky. -No. I loved it, all the way up | |
| [02:15] | till the end. I think stair car’s plenty. | |
| [02:17] | -Okay. -[Michael] Why don’t I have the family | |
| [02:20] | gather at the beach cottage about 3:00? | |
| [02:22] | You call me. You tell me you found out they’ve got | |
| [02:25] | the stair car evidence, and I wait | |
| [02:26] | for either Mom or Dad to make their next move. | |
| [02:29] | Any questions? | |
| [02:30] | What’s the beach cottage? | |
| [02:32] | I found out, Buster. | |
| [02:33] | -Oh. -[exhales] What a relief. | |
| [02:35] | -Yeah. -I almost said “the cottage.” | |
| [02:37] | I changed it to “[bleep]ing on the beach.” | |
| [02:39] | -It’s “frolicking.” -“Frolicking.” | |
| [02:41] | [Ron] Now, the story of a wealthy family | |
| [02:43] | who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice | |
| [02:46] | but to keep them all together. | |
| [02:54] | It’s Arrested Development. | |
| [02:59] | Michael group-texted his family to meet at the cottage, | |
| [03:03] | but accidentally included… | |
| [03:04] | -Gangee’s renting this place? -…his son. | |
| [03:06] | No, this is her place. It’s been in the family forever. | |
| [03:09] | They never told either of us, huh? | |
| [03:10] | -Oh. -Says “Maeby” here. | |
| [03:13] | What? | |
| [03:14] | How dare they keep track of my height while not telling me? | |
| [03:18] | Mm-hmm. | |
| [03:20] | So, how did it go with Rebel’s family? | |
| [03:21] | You guys seem really buddy-buddy on Instagram. | |
| [03:25] | I also saw that that hair thing backfired, huh? | |
| [03:27] | Yeah, it was great. I mean, they’re just such a nice… | |
| [03:30] | I don’t want to use “family,” ’cause they like each other, | |
| [03:32] | but they’re a nice group of people. | |
| [03:34] | I think I really like her. | |
| [03:37] | Isn’t it still weird with your dad? | |
| [03:38] | Well, maybe that was just me. | |
| [03:40] | I’m worried she might have been seeing her ex all summer. | |
| [03:43] | -Your dad? -No, no. On the movie set, | |
| [03:45] | down in Mexico. | |
| [03:47] | Didn’t your dad say he was down in Mexico, too? | |
| [03:49] | [inhales] | |
| [03:50] | -They shoot a lot of things there. -Mm-hmm. | |
| [03:53] | It was fun. I’m not gonna see her for the next few days, | |
| [03:55] | ’cause she’s going to Mexico for reshoots. | |
| [03:58] | Reshoots? Oof. | |
| [03:59] | She must not be a very good actress, huh? [chuckles] | |
| [04:02] | Hope she gets it right this time. | |
| [04:03] | Well, she’s not perfect, but, uh, | |
| [04:05] | it doesn’t turn my stomach to see her eat an ice cream cone. | |
| [04:09] | Speaking of that, how are things with Stan? | |
| [04:11] | Did he finish that ice cream cone after I looked away? | |
| [04:13] | I don’t know. I threw away all the ice cream. | |
| [04:16] | But, not to make you jealous, | |
| [04:17] | turns out we are dating. | |
| [04:21] | For some reason, he wants to wait till after the election | |
| [04:24] | to be what he likes to call “intimate.” | |
| [04:26] | [Ron] In fact, Stan was waiting so there would be no scandal… | |
| [04:29] | You gotta try this new eyebrow glue. You can eat soup again. | |
| [04:32] | …especially once his daughter joined the race. | |
| [04:34] | Have you thought about what I asked? | |
| [04:36] | You have to run for office. | |
| [04:38] | You said we couldn’t risk it, | |
| [04:40] | with… [quietly] with Lucille 2 missing. | |
| [04:43] | That’s the best part. She’s gone. | |
| [04:45] | I’m dating this woman who’s a gossip hound. | |
| [04:47] | Somehow, she got intel that Lindsay Bluth has skipped town. | |
| [04:50] | -But the Bluths are running her anyway. -Oh. | |
| [04:53] | It would be nice to oppose Lindsay’s sudden interest | |
| [04:55] | in building this awful border wall. | |
| [04:57] | Which was my idea. | |
| [04:59] | [scoffs] I have to say, Dad, | |
| [05:01] | I’m surprised you’re taking such an interest in this race. | |
| [05:05] | If you tried the new eyebrow glue, you could look surprised, too. | |
| [05:08] | [George Michael] He expects sex after the election? | |
| [05:11] | What are you gonna do? That’s in two days. | |
| [05:12] | I know. I mean, I can’t let the guy see me naked, | |
| [05:14] | ’cause, not to brag, but, you know, | |
| [05:16] | there’s not a lot of 75-year-old women who got a body like this. | |
| [05:19] | -You know? -I don’t think that’s bragging. | |
| [05:22] | Wow. Well, I guess you are jealous, huh? | |
| [05:25] | [Michael] I’m waiting to hear from Barry, | |
| [05:27] | so I don’t have too much new information. | |
| [05:29] | Uh, Barry’s probably trying to mitigate the damage you caused | |
| [05:33] | by taunting Buster with a skinhead. | |
| [05:35] | [Michael] Okay, you gotta blame Buster for that. | |
| [05:37] | Say what you will about Ron Howard as a filmmaker, | |
| [05:39] | but the man is not a Nazi sympathizer. | |
| [05:42] | -[Ron] Thanks. -[Gob] I’ve heard things | |
| [05:44] | about what’s really going on in that Grinch movie he made. | |
| [05:46] | You know, that anti-Christmas thing, with the Who-ish people? | |
| [05:49] | I don’t know what you want me to say. | |
| [05:51] | I offered to talk to the DA. You shot that down. | |
| [05:53] | Lottie-Dottie-DA? Oh, she’s a shark, Michael. | |
| [05:55] | I don’t want you swimming anywhere near her. | |
| [05:58] | Especially after you tried to drown yourself | |
| [06:00] | in the bay the other day. We’re sticking with that, huh? | |
| [06:04] | Mom, if you’re not gonna bail out Buster, | |
| [06:07] | -you can visit. -[Lucille] And risk having | |
| [06:09] | a story come out that I went to a prison | |
| [06:11] | to visit my son before the election? | |
| [06:13] | That would be bad for Lindsay’s campaign. | |
| [06:15] | So the plan is to run her, even though she’s not here? | |
| [06:18] | -[Lucille] Yes. -Got it. | |
| [06:19] | Especially now that Sally’s in the race. | |
| [06:21] | Tobias better find Lindsay before the 4th of July parade, | |
| [06:24] | which is on the 2nd. | |
| [06:25] | -The 4th of July parade is on the 2nd? -Mm. | |
| [06:28] | Yes. They moved it because they don’t want the Hispanics | |
| [06:31] | to get even by using up all the supplies a day early | |
| [06:34] | like we do with Cinco. | |
| [06:35] | Yeah, and good luck using the 4th of July fireworks on the 3rd, | |
| [06:38] | because we will have done it on the 2nd. | |
| [06:40] | By the way, guys, as far as the Bluth company float goes, | |
| [06:45] | I bet you guys are thinking, uh, will he, won’t he? | |
| [06:47] | -“Willy Wondy?” -Who’s Willy Wondy? | |
| [06:50] | “Will he, won’t he” do magic on our float. | |
| [06:52] | -Won’t he. -Tony? | |
| [06:54] | -Did you say Tony? -Won’t he. | |
| [06:56] | Wonder. What? Why are you trying to say “Tony Wonder”? | |
| [06:59] | -No one’s saying Tony– -Stay out of it! | |
| [07:00] | Why are you saying Tony Wonder? Is he doing a trick? | |
| [07:03] | No one’s saying that | |
| [07:04] | -or asking anything. -[Gob] Good. | |
| [07:06] | Let’s keep it that way. | |
| [07:10] | Anyway, you’re probably saying or wondering– Now I’m doing it. | |
| [07:13] | [laughs] | |
| [07:16] | …why I won’t be doing a magic show on our float. | |
| [07:18] | And the answer is: | |
| [07:21] | because I’ve been asked to do so on another float. | |
| [07:23] | A great company, Laguna Closet Conversions. Know those guys? | |
| [07:26] | It’s not what you think. | |
| [07:28] | They, like, convert closets to, like, organize and stuff. | |
| [07:31] | Who would think anything different? | |
| [07:33] | [Ron] This geo-bead would. | |
| [07:35] | So, what do we have to do to get you into a closet, huh? | |
| [07:37] | Wow, you guys don’t mince words, huh? | |
| [07:41] | [Ron] After realizing his friendship with Tony Wonder was over… | |
| [07:45] | [Tony, over phone] I don’t think we can hang out. | |
| [07:47] | [Ron] …Gob, desperate to push his feelings back into the closet, | |
| [07:50] | decided conversion therapy was the only answer. | |
| [07:53] | -We’re different. -[Ron] Although, it’s worth noting | |
| [07:56] | he didn’t do a lot of research. | |
| [07:58] | [salesman] Plus, it’s great for your resale value. | |
| [08:00] | How’s your resale value now? | |
| [08:01] | [Ron] Gob didn’t want to let on that he didn’t know | |
| [08:04] | what “resale value” was gay slang for. | |
| [08:08] | I’ve never had any complaints. | |
| [08:10] | Let’s talk about you. The more we know about you, | |
| [08:12] | the happier you’re gonna be with your results. | |
| [08:17] | I love Tony Wonder. | |
| [08:20] | I guess you want the details. [chuckles] | |
| [08:23] | -Anyway, it’s… -[Ron] Gob told the closet salesmen | |
| [08:25] | all about his night with Tony, | |
| [08:27] | and how devastated he was by being ghosted. | |
| [08:29] | …Michael walked in, I had to waste my roofie… | |
| [08:31] | But he doesn’t remember… Him, with my… | |
| [08:33] | I guess that’s how we’re different, in the same way. | |
| [08:38] | We should put him | |
| [08:39] | in the Catalina cedar walk-in | |
| [08:41] | with the pocket doors and the floor lighting. | |
| [08:44] | [Ron] And that’s when Gob realized his mistake. | |
| [08:52] | But keep in mind, we edited, like, an hour out of this. | |
| [08:55] | What are the confidentiality laws concerning people | |
| [08:58] | who walk into a closet store? | |
| [09:00] | [Gob] They’re kind of sane and, you know, they just, | |
| [09:03] | they listen, they’re good– and they work for us | |
| [09:05] | ’cause I bought the company. | |
| [09:06] | -Ah. Oh. -[phone buzzing] | |
| [09:08] | Hang on, this might be him. It is. | |
| [09:10] | -Barry. -[Barry] Michael, I’m calling you, | |
| [09:12] | I’ve got new info. It can be whatever | |
| [09:13] | you want to say, I’m saying. | |
| [09:15] | I understand, so you are saying… | |
| [09:19] | I’m not saying anything. | |
| [09:20] | -I didn’t think I had to. -I see. | |
| [09:22] | -What does that mean, “discovered”? –Oh, they’re listening, right? | |
| [09:26] | If they’re listening, just say “dogshit.” | |
| [09:28] | Mm. What you said, I would repeat, | |
| [09:32] | but the family is here, and I want to make sure | |
| [09:34] | -that I don’t get it wrong. -Get it wrong? | |
| [09:37] | -Say “dogshit.” -Apparently, they know | |
| [09:38] | where the stair car is, and they might even know | |
| [09:41] | where Lucille 2 is, which means they will talk to her, | |
| [09:44] | and we’ll get all this sorted out. | |
| [09:47] | -Did I get that right? –Well, with two heads in it. | |
| [09:50] | One spiky one and one bald one. | |
| [09:52] | No, that’s plenty. | |
| [09:54] | -Thank you. Good job, Barry. -Know what’s funny? | |
| [09:56] | In the 30 years that I’ve represented this family, | |
| [09:59] | that is the first time anyone has said “good j–“ | |
| [10:02] | -[phone beeps] -Well, listen. | |
| [10:04] | If that’s all true, | |
| [10:05] | they might be closer to figuring this out than we thought. | |
| [10:07] | [Ron] And now, Michael had to just sit back | |
| [10:10] | and wait for something out of the ordinary to happen. | |
| [10:12] | I’m gonna take off. | |
| [10:13] | And I’ll check back on you later and we can, uh… | |
| [10:17] | Um, can I speak to you privately for a moment? | |
| [10:20] | Oh. Yeah? | |
| [10:21] | You need to speak privately? | |
| [10:22] | Oh, it’s just so mundane. I don’t want to bore everyone. | |
| [10:25] | -It’s just so mundane. -I’ll get out of your hair. | |
| [10:29] | [Ron] And Michael went to stake out the parking lot. | |
| [10:32] | -Hey, Dad. Wait. You’re leaving? -[Michael] Hey. | |
| [10:34] | You never even said hello. | |
| [10:36] | -Yeah, I just… -Or good-bye. | |
| [10:38] | -Thank you for coming out. -I was glad to come out | |
| [10:41] | because I have some good news. | |
| [10:42] | Um, do you still need that 50 grand for Buster’s bail? | |
| [10:45] | Because I can get that from the business. | |
| [10:47] | No. No, no, no, no. I told you I’m not gonna be taking your money. | |
| [10:50] | And it’s 75 grand that I’m not gonna be taking | |
| [10:52] | because the bail went up. | |
| [10:54] | Buster tried to strangle a, uh… | |
| [10:55] | Well, he technically did strangle a skinhead. | |
| [10:58] | -Very cool. -I guess, in a way. | |
| [11:00] | Now that we’re talking about money, I want to tell you, | |
| [11:03] | I couldn’t be more proud of what you’ve been able | |
| [11:05] | to do with the Fakeblock thing. | |
| [11:07] | But with this kind of success, it puts a target on your back. | |
| [11:10] | People are gonna think, “Here comes the next Steve Gobs.” | |
| [11:13] | -They’re gonna want… -Jobs. | |
| [11:14] | Jobs, for sure, but they’re also gonna want money. | |
| [11:16] | And don’t be throwing it away. Not just to family. | |
| [11:18] | Be careful with friends, too. | |
| [11:20] | New friends, a girlfriend that might be trying | |
| [11:23] | to slow things down. Isn’t that what you– | |
| [11:25] | Isn’t that how you described it? | |
| [11:27] | -With Rebel? -Huh? Yeah. | |
| [11:28] | She just works a lot. She’s in Mexico right now. | |
| [11:30] | But we’re better than ever. | |
| [11:32] | Actually, that money that I mentioned? That was from Rebel. | |
| [11:34] | You know, to be a friend and support me. | |
| [11:36] | Oh, boy. There’s some of that Hollywood BS. There it is. | |
| [11:40] | Right there. That’s how they use people. | |
| [11:41] | That’s the culture there, and I want to make sure | |
| [11:43] | you don’t give too much away. Don’t change yourself. | |
| [11:46] | You don’t change your look | |
| [11:49] | to be a part of the gang. | |
| [11:52] | You talking about my hair? | |
| [11:54] | Why’d you dye your hair? | |
| [11:55] | Come on. | |
| [11:57] | [Ron] George Michael couldn’t tell his father | |
| [11:58] | that he’d attempted to dye his hair pink | |
| [12:01] | -to push Rebel away. -Um… | |
| [12:03] | Yeah, I guess, you know, | |
| [12:04] | so– so Rebel would think that I was cool. | |
| [12:08] | -I see. -[George Sr.] Look at this. | |
| [12:10] | Three generations of Bluths in one place. | |
| [12:13] | Anybody have a camera? | |
| [12:14] | -On my phone. -Yes, sir. | |
| [12:16] | Oh, no. | |
| [12:17] | It’s a figure of speech. I gotta run. | |
| [12:19] | Where you off to, Dad? I could run some errands. | |
| [12:21] | -Need a hop on? -No, thanks. | |
| [12:23] | Personal business. Heading northward. | |
| [12:25] | Okay. I’m actually complete opposite direction. | |
| [12:28] | Where you heading, Dad? | |
| [12:30] | Uh, west. | |
| [12:31] | Well, I’ll hang out with you at the, uh, beach. | |
| [12:34] | Oh, uh… No. Why did I say west? | |
| [12:37] | East is where I’m going. Northeast. Northeast, actually. | |
| [12:40] | I’m going up to Search campus. | |
| [12:42] | I love the idea of you going to the beach. Do that. | |
| [12:44] | Make sure it doesn’t turn your hair red again. | |
| [12:47] | And, Dad… Well, he’s gone. Okay, I gotta go. | |
| [12:51] | How’d you know I had red hair? | |
| [12:54] | -Did you see it on Instagram? -Yes. | |
| [12:56] | I did. I did. I did. | |
| [12:59] | I just didn’t want to embarrass you. | |
| [13:01] | Showed up on my e-mail this morning. | |
| [13:02] | So you use Instagram? | |
| [13:05] | Mm-mm. No, no. Your uncle showed it to me. | |
| [13:08] | You know me. I’m a 20th-century guy. | |
| [13:10] | You can keep that futuristic stuff. | |
| [13:12] | Okay? | |
| [13:14] | Okay. Prismo. | |
| [13:15] | -Begin. -[car chimes] | |
| [13:17] | User, Michael Bluth. Lost my keys. | |
| [13:20] | Okay, Prismo, reverse. | |
| [13:22] | [automated voice] I will. And how was… | |
| [13:24] | -[Michael’s voice] Mom’s fucking cottage -[automated voice] …with Gob. | |
| [13:27] | [Ron] And so, a suspicious Michael took off | |
| [13:29] | after his father… | |
| [13:35] | -[George Michael] He was there. -[Ron] …while his own son… | |
| [13:38] | [George Michael] Where are you going? | |
| [13:39] | [Ron] …found himself feeling suspicious as well. | |
| [13:43] | And Barry | |
| [13:44] | showed up at the cottage to make sure | |
| [13:46] | the scheme had worked. | |
| [13:47] | You are here. Why was Michael | |
| [13:50] | -so stingy with the dogshit? -What are you doing here? | |
| [13:52] | Was Michael lying about talking to you on the phone just now? | |
| [13:55] | Oh, no. That was me. | |
| [13:57] | I just wanted to see how Michael was enjoying | |
| [13:59] | -knowing about the cottage. -You want to know | |
| [14:01] | if we fell for Michael’s and your little trap. | |
| [14:04] | It was a trap, wasn’t it? | |
| [14:05] | [chuckles] You’re wrong. Why would I do that? | |
| [14:08] | Because he paid your bail and threatened | |
| [14:10] | to make trouble if you didn’t play along. | |
| [14:12] | You’re right. | |
| [14:13] | I knew it. | |
| [14:14] | The DA has a picture of the stair car? | |
| [14:17] | Like Lucille 2 would be stupid enough | |
| [14:19] | to disappear in a truck with her name on it? | |
| [14:21] | -What kind of lie is that? -I totally agree with you. | |
| [14:23] | A good lie is head in a box, | |
| [14:26] | but they wanted to go with something real, | |
| [14:28] | so we went with the evidence they actually had. | |
| [14:33] | This is real? | |
| [14:34] | Yeah, and he doesn’t want to use the best part, the two heads. | |
| [14:37] | One spiky, one bald. | |
| [14:39] | Lucille 2 and Oscar. | |
| [14:41] | That idiot. I told him to keep her out of sight. | |
| [14:44] | Speaking of out of sight, | |
| [14:46] | do you know where your husband is with that Winnebago? | |
| [14:48] | Because since I got out of prison, | |
| [14:50] | George is letting me stay there, without him knowing it. | |
| [14:52] | -I don’t know where he went. -Hmm. | |
| [14:54] | Maybe he went to find Oscar, warn him about the picture. | |
| [14:57] | You think he really did? | |
| [14:59] | I think the prosecution gave us this picture | |
| [15:01] | so that George or you would lead them to Lucille 2. | |
| [15:05] | Go find him. Track him down. | |
| [15:07] | Get to him before he finds Lucille 2. | |
| [15:09] | I will not let that woman steal everything I’ve taken from her. | |
| [15:17] | [Ron] George Sr. turned south on Coast Highway, | |
| [15:20] | unaware he was being followed by Michael, | |
| [15:23] | unaware he was being followed by George Michael. | |
| [15:27] | [cell phone buzzing] | |
| [15:29] | [cell phone continues buzzing] | |
| [15:35] | -[George Michael] Maeby? Hello? -I think my phone’s ringing. | |
| [15:39] | [George Michael] Maeby. Hello? Come on. Hello? | |
| [15:41] | -Hello? –It’s me. | |
| [15:43] | I know you’re not old. Can we have a system where I don’t have to wait the 40 seconds? | |
| [15:47] | Look, I have to be careful, okay? | |
| [15:48] | These are not tech-savvy people. | |
| [15:50] | The other day, I turned the lounge TV on, | |
| [15:52] | and now that’s my job. | |
| [15:53] | They call me “Buttons” now. Buttons. | |
| [15:56] | -He’s going to meet Rebel. –Who? Your dad? | |
| [15:58] | I think you were right. | |
| [16:00] | They were together in Mexico, and that’s why | |
| [16:02] | my dad has been weird with me. | |
| [16:03] | Wow, I was just “specu-lying.” | |
| [16:06] | Well, you nailed it, Buttons. | |
| [16:07] | And he probably made plans to see her this time in Mexico | |
| [16:10] | when I said my relationship was slowing down. | |
| [16:12] | You know, it’s hard to believe because… | |
| [16:14] | my niece always told me | |
| [16:16] | never to give away my Social Security number, | |
| [16:18] | but if it really is a free trip to Aruba… | |
| [16:20] | Oh, you have to go, Buttons. | |
| [16:22] | Sign me up! | |
| [16:24] | [Maeby] Peg’s walking by. | |
| [16:25] | [George Michael] No, you have to. | |
| [16:27] | He lied about being at the Howard barbecue. He was there. | |
| [16:30] | Wow, and I thought my parents were the selfish ones. | |
| [16:33] | At least my mom never tried to sleep with somebody I was da– | |
| [16:36] | Oh, wait. No. Steve Holt. | |
| [16:38] | Uh, but he’s family. | |
| [16:40] | We’ve got to stop the lying in this family. | |
| [16:42] | Tell me about it. You tell one little story | |
| [16:45] | to get a place to live. Next thing you know, | |
| [16:47] | you’re sorting through your roommate’s pills | |
| [16:49] | to figure out which one will kill his sex drive. | |
| [16:50] | -Like estrogen? –Wait, that’s a thing? | |
| [16:53] | I mean, I was just day plotting. | |
| [16:55] | Stop right there. The minute you start talking | |
| [16:57] | about neutering your romantic partner, | |
| [16:59] | you’re into shit that even Gangee wouldn’t do. | |
| [17:01] | The monster or the grandmother? | |
| [17:02] | The monster. But, yeah, I don’t think our grandmother would do that. | |
| [17:06] | Yeah, maybe it is too far. I guess I can just | |
| [17:08] | pretend like I have an illness where I forget everything. | |
| [17:11] | Like Alzheimer’s? | |
| [17:13] | That’s a thing, too? I was just crime-storming. | |
| [17:15] | You know, just lying out loud. How funny. | |
| [17:19] | [Ron] Gob was having trouble | |
| [17:20] | forgetting someone himself. | |
| [17:22] | Okay? Now you’re gonna be in the closet… | |
| [17:24] | [Ron] Which was why he was distracted | |
| [17:27] | as the closet guys helped him with his parade float illusion. | |
| [17:30] | Sorry. I’m still really torn up about this love affair with Tony, | |
| [17:34] | which, if you guys mention, you’re fired. | |
| [17:36] | [salesman] We can’t change your feelings, okay? | |
| [17:38] | But we can change whether Tony is in your life. | |
| [17:41] | After you left, we got to talking about you, and… | |
| [17:44] | You’re a magician, | |
| [17:45] | he’s a magician… Go double magician. | |
| [17:48] | Two guys, one trick. Do an act together. | |
| [17:51] | God. Why are all the cute ones so dumb? | |
| [17:55] | Look, guys, this is not that hard. | |
| [17:57] | I am pretending to be a Christian magician. | |
| [17:59] | Tony’s pretending to be a gay magician. | |
| [18:02] | We’re like oil and vinegar. | |
| [18:04] | What trick is gonna have room for both? | |
| [18:06] | Yes, everyone could be smarter, that’s true, | |
| [18:09] | but what we meant was that | |
| [18:11] | we could book you and Tony to do a trick on our float. | |
| [18:15] | Yeah. A classic two-fister. | |
| [18:18] | An old-fashioned will he, won’t he? | |
| [18:21] | We’re just gonna need the perfect trick. | |
| [18:25] | We’re wasting daylight. Let’s do this. | |
| [18:27] | [workers laugh] | |
| [18:29] | What did we decide on? Sorry, I… | |
| [18:31] | [Ron] And soon, George Sr. arrived at the border… | |
| [18:35] | [cell phone rings] | |
| [18:37] | -Hello? -[Michael] Hey, Dad. | |
| [18:39] | [Ron] …two cars ahead of… | |
| [18:40] | Michael. I thought I’d give you a call, see how the drive | |
| [18:44] | -north is going. -Oh, it’s fine. | |
| [18:46] | I took Highway 5, so there’s, you know, no view, | |
| [18:49] | but there’s no traffic. | |
| [18:50] | [Michael] What’s the bell? | |
| [18:52] | Oh, there’s this Salvation Army Santa Claus guy | |
| [18:55] | who’s just going from car to car here. | |
| [18:58] | Ice cream? | |
| [18:59] | [George Sr.] Stop screaming and get off the highway! | |
| [19:02] | Oh, there’s an Andersen’s Pea Soup, | |
| [19:04] | -so I think I’m gonna buy him soup. -[line beeping] | |
| [19:07] | [Michael] That’s George Michael. I gotta go. | |
| [19:09] | I hope that I’m half the father to him that you are to me. | |
| [19:12] | You’re embarrassing me. | |
| [19:13] | -Thank you. -You should be. | |
| [19:16] | George Michael. | |
| [19:18] | [George Michael] Hey, where are you? | |
| [19:19] | [Michael] I’m approaching, uh, Andersen’s Pea Soup. | |
| [19:23] | Oh, that’s north. You said you were going northeast. | |
| [19:26] | [stammering] Well, I’m headed north, then I’m headed east. | |
| [19:29] | Otherwise you don’t pass the Andersen’s P.S. | |
| [19:32] | Oh, right. | |
| [19:33] | [Ron] Michael felt doubly guilty | |
| [19:35] | for not just telling a lie, but stealing one. | |
| [19:38] | -What’s that bell? -[Michael] That’s, uh, | |
| [19:40] | we got a Danish girl ringing a bell | |
| [19:42] | -in front of, uh, A’s Pea Soup. -[man] Ice cream? | |
| [19:46] | Ice cream? What’s that about ice cream? | |
| [19:47] | [Michael] No, thank you. Uh, nein, danke. | |
| [19:50] | Big boy, I gotta go. Okay? | |
| [19:51] | -I’ll talk to you later. -Love you. | |
| [19:57] | [Ron] They made their way through the border crossing. | |
| [19:59] | [guard] Next one. | |
| [20:02] | [Barry] Oh. | |
| [20:03] | He’s going to Father B’s. | |
| [20:06] | [Ron] Which, to Barry, could only mean one thing. | |
| [20:09] | I have time for an ice cream. | |
| [20:11] | -Ice cream! -[Ron] In fact, | |
| [20:13] | George Sr. was returning to property | |
| [20:15] | he used as a motivational retreat called Father B’s | |
| [20:19] | for the first time in months. | |
| [20:21] | And, unseen, Michael snuck into his blind spot. | |
| [20:26] | Of course this is where they’d hide Lucille 2. | |
| [20:35] | [George Sr. sniffles] | |
| [20:43] | -Mm. -[Michael] Hey. | |
| [20:46] | How’d Santa like his pea soup? | |
| [20:48] | Michael, uh… What are you doing here? | |
| [20:50] | [Michael] Figuring out why you lied about where you were going. | |
| [20:54] | I didn’t want you to know. I was embarrassed. | |
| [20:57] | I would’ve been embarrassed if I was making Buster rot in prison, | |
| [21:00] | while I was hiding Lucille down in Mexico. | |
| [21:03] | Hiding Lucille? What are you talking about? | |
| [21:04] | I set you up. I told you that the DA | |
| [21:07] | found the stair car. You took the bait and you had | |
| [21:09] | that private conversation with Mom. She said to you, | |
| [21:11] | “Make sure Lucille 2 stays hidden.” Did she not say that? | |
| [21:13] | -Tell me she didn’t. -[Ron] She didn’t. | |
| [21:15] | -It’s so mundane. –Let me get out of your hair. | |
| [21:17] | [Ron] Lucille had something else on her mind. | |
| [21:20] | I know you said you wanted to check in on me, | |
| [21:22] | and I have plans with Dusty, | |
| [21:24] | and I didn’t want you to find us together | |
| [21:26] | and get your feelings hurt tonight. | |
| [21:28] | So you want to hurt my feelings now instead? | |
| [21:31] | -To get it out of the way. -Is that it, or are you afraid | |
| [21:33] | -I’ll tear him in two? -Hey. | |
| [21:35] | If you could tear anything in two, you’d still have a shot at me. | |
| [21:38] | Okay, you want to see a real man, you’re going to. | |
| [21:42] | I know. I just didn’t want you to see me with him. | |
| [21:48] | [quietly] Don’t cry. | |
| [21:49] | -[sobbing] -[Michael] Then, | |
| [21:51] | what are you doing down here? | |
| [21:53] | This is where the curse began. | |
| [21:54] | This is where that guy turned me into Oscar, and Oscar… | |
| [22:00] | -into me. -Mm. | |
| [22:01] | [Ron] Years earlier, when Oscar introduced | |
| [22:03] | George Sr. to maca… [man] The strong will become the weak, | |
| [22:06] | the weak will become the strong. | |
| [22:09] | …the brothers had an ominous vision. | |
| [22:10] | Probably so they can build a border wall. | |
| [22:12] | They want to separate… | |
| [22:13] | [Ron] Which is what Lindsay’s boyfriend | |
| [22:15] | wanted them to think. | |
| [22:17] | You don’t believe that maca does all this crap, do you? | |
| [22:19] | [man, echoing] George! | |
| [22:24] | -[George Sr.] You see that? -[man] I have something for you! | |
| [22:26] | [George Sr.] Great spirit, that’s why I’m here! | |
| [22:28] | My son doesn’t believe. | |
| [22:31] | Please, take his strength, and give it to me! | |
| [22:34] | -[Michael] Take it easy. -[Tobias] No, it’s me, Tobias. | |
| [22:37] | Fünke. I’m still legally recognized as your son-in-law. | |
| [22:41] | -Why are you dressed like that? -Humorous anecdote. | |
| [22:45] | [grunting] | |
| [22:47] | Oh. | |
| [22:48] | Ugh… Come… | |
| [22:52] | One… | |
| [22:54] | Here– here it comes. | |
| [22:55] | [grunting, mumbling] | |
| [22:58] | [Ron] Well, maybe I’ll jump in here. | |
| [23:00] | After being kicked off Father B’s land, | |
| [23:03] | the men finally found their way to Marky Bark’s trailer. | |
| [23:06] | It was worth it. Now you know how to do a proper spit take. | |
| [23:10] | Now, if Lindsay’s here, let me do the talking. | |
| [23:14] | Hello? | |
| [23:15] | -[Ma Bark] No water. -Oh, uh, | |
| [23:17] | we’re looking for Lindsay. | |
| [23:18] | Lindsay? That dumb blonde slut | |
| [23:20] | my moron son keeps calling every five minutes | |
| [23:23] | since she came back on Cinco de Mayo? | |
| [23:25] | Yes, yes, my wife. | |
| [23:27] | -Nice girl, but you just missed her. -[Tobias] Oh. | |
| [23:29] | Well, uh, could we wait here until she gets back? | |
| [23:32] | Normally, I would say no, but the ostriches | |
| [23:35] | have been making a hell of a mess this past year. | |
| [23:37] | How’s your gag reflex? | |
| [23:38] | Well, if you mean is my son anything | |
| [23:41] | like his father, well, he’s never had any complaints. | |
| [23:46] | [Ron] And Tobias explained what happened next. | |
| [23:49] | [Tobias grunts] I… | |
| [23:51] | I got it– hey, hey– I… One… | |
| [23:53] | [Ron] Okay, well, so… Tobias, also, was given a job. | |
| [23:57] | The mail’s been piling up. You can start at Father B’s. | |
| [23:59] | Oh, no, no, I can’t go there. | |
| [24:01] | [chuckles] They held me up at gunpoint, | |
| [24:03] | so you’ll understand if I pass on going back. | |
| [24:06] | If you’re that worried, | |
| [24:07] | you can wear the ostrich suit. | |
| [24:09] | Mark always did. | |
| [24:10] | Oh, fun. | |
| [24:12] | If you pass out, it keeps buzzards off your eyes. | |
| [24:14] | [laughs] Double fun! | |
| [24:16] | Tuna fish… sandwich. | |
| [24:18] | So, I got a job delivering mail for the day. | |
| [24:22] | Yes, I suppose I could’ve told you that from up there, | |
| [24:24] | but I am glad to see you, | |
| [24:26] | uh, ’cause your mail certainly has been piling up. | |
| [24:29] | And this is my last delivery, so I get to put on my human clothes. | |
| [24:34] | Adios, muchachos. | |
| [24:35] | [George Sr.] Oh, my Viagra. | |
| [24:37] | See, and this used to work. | |
| [24:39] | Since when is Viagra pink? | |
| [24:41] | Your mom says that the Medicare only does the generic. | |
| [24:44] | You know, this is estrogen. | |
| [24:45] | -Really? -How long you been taking that? | |
| [24:48] | Uh, two years. | |
| [24:49] | Two years. Isn’t that about the time that Mom was in jail | |
| [24:52] | and started, uh… | |
| [24:54] | -Forwarding my mail. -Yeah. Why do you think she did that? | |
| [24:56] | Maybe she figured that if she was gonna do hard time, | |
| [24:59] | I should do… Soft time. Yeah. | |
| [25:01] | But that doesn’t explain Oscar. | |
| [25:04] | He has my mojo, and all he eats is maca. | |
| [25:07] | And, actually, it’s this particular maca | |
| [25:09] | that grows all over this gully. | |
| [25:11] | -[Michael] Down the hill from that. -Yeah. | |
| [25:13] | It’s from when I was running the executive training camp. | |
| [25:16] | Boy, talk about guys high on testosterone. | |
| [25:20] | I wish I could get some of what they were on. Yeah. Sounds like Oscar has. | |
| [25:24] | ♪ Coincidence? ♪ | |
| [25:29] | [Ron] Having kept a safe distance, | |
| [25:32] | George Michael soon arrived at Father B’s ranch. | |
| [25:37] | How is the Pea Soup Andersen’s pea soup, Dad? | |
| [25:41] | [Ron] Assuming his father was inside the Winnebago with Rebel, | |
| [25:45] | he rang her to catch her off guard when he made his move. | |
| [25:48] | -Hey, where are you? -[Rebel] In Culver City. | |
| [25:52] | -I thought you were in Mexico. -No, my character’s in Mexico. | |
| [25:55] | -I’m in Culver City. -Oh. | |
| [25:57] | -I’m on set. -I see. | |
| [25:59] | All right, well, then, I guess all that’s left to say is | |
| [26:02] | lights, camera, | |
| [26:04] | action! | |
| [26:08] | Always so lovely to hear your voice. | |
| [26:10] | [Ron] George Michael knew he had made a horrible mistake, | |
| [26:13] | and knew he had to get out of there before anyone saw him. | |
| [26:16] | But he couldn’t get to his car unseen | |
| [26:19] | now that Barry had arrived. | |
| [26:23] | With the coast clear, George Michael made for an exit | |
| [26:25] | to avoid running into his father… | |
| [26:28] | [George Sr.] I can’t believe you’re suspicious. | |
| [26:29] | …who was behind him. | |
| [26:31] | You have to trust me. I don’t know where Lucille 2 is. | |
| [26:34] | -[engine starts] -[Michael] Dad, trust | |
| [26:36] | is a two-way street. Okay? | |
| [26:39] | That’s Lucille 2’s car. | |
| [26:41] | I swear to you, I didn’t know she was here. I– | |
| [26:43] | You’re probably not impotent, either. | |
| [26:45] | -We should be following her. -Get in the Anustart, | |
| [26:47] | and I’ll follow. Go. | |
| [26:49] | Follow Lucille 2. If we get her, Buster goes free. | |
| [26:52] | [Tobias] Ooh, triple fun. | |
| [26:58] | [Ron] And so, Michael rushed after Lucille 2’s Cadillac | |
| [27:01] | with Tobias at the wheel, | |
| [27:03] | which only made his son more desperate to lose his father. | |
| [27:16] | Yet, none of them saw the spike strips. | |
| [27:18] | [tires popping] | |
| [27:19] | [moans] | |
| [27:21] | -[tires popping] -Oh! | |
| [27:22] | [tires screeching] | |
| [27:23] | [grunts] | |
| [27:25] | I’m okay. | |
| [27:26] | The bathroom doesn’t work back here, | |
| [27:28] | so I peed in a Wetzel bag. | |
| [27:31] | What are you doing here? | |
| [27:33] | I live here. | |
| [27:34] | [Ron] And the family that was chasing itself for no reason… | |
| [27:38] | soon had a reason to stop. | |
| [27:41] | -George Michael? What are you doing? -Uh… | |
| [27:44] | Three, four, five, six, seven, eight flat tires? | |
| [27:47] | -Yeah. -Who do we sue? | |
| [27:49] | You, until we find out who put down the spike strips. | |
| [27:53] | That would be us! | |
| [27:56] | Hyah! Ándale. | |
| [27:59] | Oh. Hi. | |
| [28:02] | [man] We’re sorry about the spike strips, | |
| [28:03] | but we can’t always personally patrol our land. | |
| [28:07] | Your land? | |
| [28:09] | This is Bluth land. | |
| [28:10] | This has been Romney land | |
| [28:12] | since my great-grandfather settled here. | |
| [28:13] | Along with our 18 great-grandmothers. | |
| [28:16] | -[George Sr.] Romney land? -[Michael] Like Mitt Romney? | |
| [28:18] | Yes, we are the Mexican Romneys. | |
| [28:21] | [neighing] | |
| [28:23] | -♪ Mexican Romney Family ♪ -[whip cracks] | |
| [28:26] | Although, we used to have better signs. | |
| [28:28] | [Ron] Until, as it turns out, Oscar and his friends | |
| [28:30] | discovered how cold Mexico was at night. | |
| [28:33] | This is America. If they don’t want us to burn signs, | |
| [28:35] | they shouldn’t write them in Spanish. | |
| [28:37] | And besides, George Bluth signed it over to us. | |
| [28:42] | -Oscar. -That’s a bit much. That’s very nice. | |
| [28:45] | I wouldn’t say I deserved an Oscar, but… | |
| [28:46] | -[chuckles] -Hold on. | |
| [28:48] | I’m George Bluth. I never signed anything like that. | |
| [28:53] | Now perhaps, before I rediscovered my manhood | |
| [28:55] | in the gully, I would’ve caved, but not now. | |
| [28:58] | I am gonna fight you for the land. | |
| [29:00] | [guns clicking] | |
| [29:02] | Where’s a pen? | |
| [29:04] | [Ron] On the next Arrested Development… | |
| [29:06] | [Ron] Gob and his new conversion buddies labor | |
| [29:09] | to design the perfect trick. | |
| [29:11] | ♪ Don’t tell me not to live Just sit and putter… ♪ | |
| [29:14] | Then, we have the other one, like he said. | |
| [29:16] | Gay equals straight. | |
| [29:18] | ♪ To rain on my parade… ♪ | |
| [29:23] | I need two closets! | |
| [29:24] | Two guys coming out of the closet! | |
| [29:26] | How hard is that to understand? | |
| [29:28] | You’ve got two– Thank you, you’re a dear. | |
| [29:31] | One is gonna be well-organized. | |
| [29:33] | The other one is just gonna be shredded all apart. | |
| [29:35] | Yeah, that’s good, that’s good. | |
| [29:37] | ♪ Bam! ♪ | |
| [29:40] | It’s garbage! | |
| [29:41] | -It’s all garbage! -♪ Here I am! ♪ |