| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:11] | [Ron Howard] Michael was on his way to see Rebel Alley | |
| [00:14] | after being less than honest with his son | |
| [00:16] | about having broken up with her… | |
| [00:18] | I got a cactus, for God’s sakes. | |
| [00:20] | That’s a universal sign for “things are over.” | |
| [00:22] | …when he’d actually told her… | |
| [00:24] | I ain’t going nowhere. | |
| [00:26] | [Ron] George Michael had similarly made a false claim. | |
| [00:29] | -Do you have plans with Rebel? -Yeah. | |
| [00:31] | -Do you? Good for you guys. -I do, yeah. | |
| [00:34] | -It’s fun. Yeah. -[Ron] When the truth was… | |
| [00:36] | I haven’t seen her since I punched him. | |
| [00:38] | [Ron] And each was worried the other would say, | |
| [00:40] | “You lied to me, and that’s worse.” | |
| [00:43] | He’s gonna say, “And that’s worse.” | |
| [00:45] | [Ron] Michael decided to tell Rebel he was going somewhere. | |
| [00:48] | George Michael, meanwhile, was approaching the same apartment with a plan of his own. | |
| [00:52] | You take my bag of lacy ticklers, hoo-ha bras, dog toys, | |
| [00:55] | and sex knobs with you, and you act like you’re expecting | |
| [00:58] | a booty call, as the old people think the young people say. | |
| [01:00] | Tell her, “I’m here for a quickie, and I’m out of here.” Mr. Brash. | |
| [01:04] | [Ron] So when Michael saw his son brashly approaching, | |
| [01:08] | he decided to be the adult in the relationship | |
| [01:10] | and avoid conflict by squatting in a bush, | |
| [01:13] | until his son passed on his way to what the young people | |
| [01:16] | refer to as a booty call. | |
| [01:19] | Yeah, standing out here with a bag of sex toys! | |
| [01:21] | Let’s go! Not getting any less horny out here. How are you? | |
| [01:25] | I think she’s gone until tomorrow. | |
| [01:27] | Is she? Good. ‘Cause I was getting less, | |
| [01:29] | uh… what I mentioned earlier. | |
| [01:33] | [Ron] Moments earlier, a still squatting Michael | |
| [01:36] | noticed something in the bushes. | |
| [01:44] | [Toddler] All right in there? | |
| [01:45] | Hey. Toddler. Hey. | |
| [01:48] | Uh, this looks, um… | |
| [01:51] | You know, there’s a woman in there who’s obsessed with me– | |
| [01:54] | -Oh, this one, too? -Yep. Yeah, yeah. | |
| [01:57] | Oh, actually, I have a question for you. | |
| [02:00] | -Okay. -I’ll come out. | |
| [02:03] | Oh. Okay. | |
| [02:05] | Do you remember when I called you about my brother Buster? | |
| [02:08] | The missing person thing. Did he show up? | |
| [02:10] | -Did anybody claim him? -They got him. | |
| [02:13] | -They did. I had a feeling. -Yeah. | |
| [02:16] | Well, I’m going home. Okay. Great. | |
| [02:20] | I live here. | |
| [02:22] | Oh. Didn’t know they paid you that fair. | |
| [02:25] | Yeah, good for you. | |
| [02:29] | -That is one dirty cop. -[door opens] | |
| [02:31] | Dad. | |
| [02:41] | [dramatic music playing] | |
| [02:49] | [Ron] But diplomacy won the day. | |
| [02:51] | Yeah, I’m just… I’m making sure that she knows that we broke up. | |
| [02:55] | I could run that up for you. Save you a trip. | |
| [02:58] | Okay. Yeah. | |
| [02:59] | Make sure she doesn’t think you’re trying to break up. | |
| [03:01] | [exhales] Nah. | |
| [03:03] | You reconsidered the scuba trip? | |
| [03:05] | Oh, God, it’s tempting as hell, but I… | |
| [03:07] | -You’re in love. -So in love. | |
| [03:10] | Maybe next time? | |
| [03:11] | Promise? | |
| [03:13] | I do. | |
| [03:16] | Ciao. | |
| [03:18] | I’ll see ya. | |
| [03:20] | [Ron] But moments after leaving his father’s gift | |
| [03:22] | -outside Rebel’s door… -[Rebel] George! | |
| [03:25] | Hey! [gasps] Oh! | |
| [03:28] | What are you doing here? | |
| [03:29] | Uh, uh, you mean without calling? | |
| [03:31] | I know. I’m sorry. I was shooting this tiny movie | |
| [03:34] | in Mexico for two months, and, uh, I meant to call you. | |
| [03:37] | And I just landed. How did you find out I was back? | |
| [03:40] | Thought I’d get lucky. Well, you’d get lucky. | |
| [03:42] | I’m sure that strikes you as inconsiderate– I got it. | |
| [03:44] | -Thank you so much. -Oh, he’s my hero. | |
| [03:46] | Well, I hope he’s not expecting a tip. | |
| [03:49] | -They instruct us not to ask. -I don’t have any cash. | |
| [03:52] | [Ron] George Michael decided to split the difference. | |
| [03:54] | Just take it. Jerk. Kidding. | |
| [03:57] | Sorry. Thank you. Beat it. | |
| [03:59] | -Nice guy. Tough job. -What? | |
| [04:03] | Tough guy. Thinks he’s a tough guy. | |
| [04:05] | But he does a nice job. | |
| [04:07] | As do these sex toys I caddishly brought you. | |
| [04:11] | [laughs] Wait. | |
| [04:13] | What is this used for? | |
| [04:16] | That is a device | |
| [04:18] | that older people use to put their shoes on… | |
| [04:20] | [announcer] …without bending over! | |
| [04:22] | Get Shoedini right this second. | |
| [04:25] | Come on, please! | |
| [04:26] | It’s not just a shoehorn. | |
| [04:28] | It’s a shoehorn on a stick! | |
| [04:30] | From TV? Well, I can think of another use for it. | |
| [04:34] | But I’ve gotta be gone in five minutes. I’ve gotta pick up my son. | |
| [04:36] | It’s gonna be a quickie, and then we can get out of here. | |
| [04:39] | [Ron] Which was the line George Michael had planned to use, | |
| [04:42] | so he improvised. | |
| [04:43] | Fine, but I hope we can spend some quality time together later. | |
| [04:47] | [giggles] | |
| [04:48] | Oh, my God, you’re the dream boyfriend. | |
| [04:51] | Well… | |
| [04:53] | [Ron] Now the story of a wealthy family | |
| [04:55] | who lost everything, and the one son | |
| [04:57] | who had no choice but to keep them all together. | |
| [05:06] | It’s… | |
| [05:11] | [Ron] Having just handed his son a breakup cactus, | |
| [05:15] | Michael boarded the boat | |
| [05:16] | for his three-month sojourn to stare at the ocean floor. | |
| [05:21] | But not without some regret. | |
| [05:24] | While up the wharf, the other Bluths prepared | |
| [05:26] | to graciously receive the Family of the Year award | |
| [05:29] | they were generously giving themselves | |
| [05:31] | at the banana stand, | |
| [05:33] | only to discover… | |
| [05:34] | -There’s no banana stand. -What happened? | |
| [05:36] | [Lucille] Who was the advance? | |
| [05:38] | Who was the advance team? You’re the campaign manager. | |
| [05:41] | -This could ruin your mother’s campaign. -I can’t take credit for this. | |
| [05:44] | [Ron] Because she had a plan. | |
| [05:46] | Why don’t you write a speech for her to say about you? | |
| [05:48] | When my mom’s giving the speech, | |
| [05:50] | we’ll be in the background, and we’re going at it. | |
| [05:53] | And then, I open my mouth, | |
| [05:54] | and I have these rotted-out meth teeth, and I’m like, | |
| [05:57] | “Why do I gotta [bleeps] my cousin for meth money, Mom?” | |
| [06:00] | Yeah, we’re circling it. | |
| [06:02] | -Um, I’ll get into it. -Oh, my God. | |
| [06:04] | Hi, this is Maeby Fünke, for the Lindsay Bluth campaign. | |
| [06:08] | Where are my meth teeth? It’s been over two hours. | |
| [06:10] | Nobody’s seen the stand since Cinco. Kids probably threw it in the water… | |
| [06:14] | -[Ron] Which was bad news for Tobias… -[Tobias] You can’t have | |
| [06:18] | a family-friendly banana stand award without a man dressed– What? | |
| [06:22] | …who had finally found a way to slip into the family. | |
| [06:25] | I’m out. I know. | |
| [06:28] | I get it. | |
| [06:31] | I feel like a [bleeps] moron. | |
| [06:33] | All right. We’re set up. Paid the crew $75 an hour. Let’s go. | |
| [06:36] | -Let’s go. -Wait. | |
| [06:37] | Lindsay’s not here. Why are we starting? | |
| [06:39] | It’s okay. I’ll go. | |
| [06:40] | I got something for Dad, anyway. | |
| [06:42] | This is O.C. Can You Say by the Sea. | |
| [06:45] | We’re bringing you | |
| [06:46] | the first annual Family of the… | |
| [06:49] | Of the [bleeps] [bleeps] Year! | |
| [06:52] | [whistles weakly] | |
| [06:53] | Let’s hear it for the… of the Year! | |
| [07:03] | I thought there was gonna be music or… | |
| [07:05] | Thank you, Beard, for… | |
| [07:08] | [man coughs] | |
| [07:10] | “Dad… | |
| [07:14] | You were always there for me. | You were always there for me. |
| [07:17] | And, man, we’ve had fun together. | |
| [07:20] | How about that Mexico trip? | |
| [07:24] | Things we’ll remember: | |
| [07:27] | ‘always horny’ shirts… | |
| [07:29] | eating chips in the car… | |
| [07:32] | ‘Shut up, G.O.B.!’ | |
| [07:35] | And almost making love to some roadside bushes. | |
| [07:37] | [chuckling] ‘Shh. Don’t tell Mom!'” | |
| [07:40] | What? | |
| [07:42] | [man coughing] | |
| [07:44] | “Remember how our Winnebago got demolished by that train? | |
| [07:49] | So many memories. | |
| [07:51] | That’s why all you have to do is look at me, and you’ll realize | |
| [07:54] | that you’ve done something great in this life. | |
| [07:57] | [clears throat] | |
| [08:00] | You are the golden anchor of this family, | |
| [08:03] | the man who not only left his mark on Newport | |
| [08:07] | with the great banana… stand… | |
| [08:11] | up. Good habit. Standing is– Yep. | |
| [08:14] | You always leave your mark everywhere you sit. | |
| [08:18] | So I give you | |
| [08:19] | the biggest anchor of gold in the world. | |
| [08:22] | I only wish it were real gold so that you wouldn’t have 30 years | |
| [08:26] | of hard work ahead of you.” | |
| [08:29] | Thirty years! | |
| [08:31] | [Ron] What a horrible speech. | |
| [08:33] | [George Sr.] Oh, my gosh. | |
| [08:35] | [chuckling] Uh, thank you. | |
| [08:37] | I, uh… | |
| [08:39] | Oh, wow, it’s heavy. I haven’t… This, uh, well… | |
| [08:43] | Let ’em try to take this away from me, huh? | |
| [08:45] | They’ll have to pry it out of your cold, dead hands. | |
| [08:49] | [Ron] And soon, Lindsay arrived | |
| [08:51] | in what was her second outfit of the day. | |
| [08:53] | [Lucille] Oh, you’re not wearing that. | |
| [08:55] | You’re running to fill a House seat, not a sofa. | |
| [08:58] | I’m starting to worry you’re not even capable | |
| [09:01] | of saying something nice about me in your speech. | |
| [09:03] | Lindsay, saying nice things about you is easy. | |
| [09:06] | Oh, Mom. | |
| [09:07] | The hard part is not sounding sarcastic. | |
| [09:09] | Oh, now, seriously, go change. | |
| [09:11] | That outfit shouldn’t even come in that size. | |
| [09:14] | How about this, Mom? | |
| [09:17] | Nothing to criticize now. Happy? | |
| [09:19] | Come on, let me hear one of your crinkly smiles. | |
| [09:22] | -[Lucille] At least it fits. -[Lindsay scoffs, groans] | |
| [09:24] | -Look who grew out of her sheet. -[Lindsay] I thought about it. | |
| [09:28] | It’s a big day. I’m being honored. I should look my best. | |
| [09:31] | Well, let me know when you do. | |
| [09:33] | And you just won yourself a sheet-covered daughter. | |
| [09:37] | [Lucille] Take that off. | |
| [09:38] | The cameras are getting this. | |
| [09:40] | [Lindsay] You don’t like anything under this. Why should I take it off? | |
| [09:43] | You don’t have a speech for me. | |
| [09:45] | [Lucille] You’re going to be surprised | |
| [09:46] | -when I get up there. -[Lindsay groans] | |
| [09:50] | Know what your number one tool is for a scuba diver? | |
| [09:55] | Your sun. All right? You gotta see how the sun | |
| [09:58] | is coming through the ocean, ’cause that’s gonna be your guiding light. | |
| [10:01] | [Ron] And as Michael faced his biggest fear, | |
| [10:03] | leaving behind his son… | |
| [10:05] | I gotta go back. You can’t leave. | |
| [10:07] | -Turn this around. -[instructor] Too late. | |
| [10:09] | -Double dock fees. Got a tight schedule. –…his son showed up, | |
| [10:12] | willing to face a big fear himself. | |
| [10:15] | Hey! Hey! | |
| [10:17] | What are you doing? I was coming back to you. | |
| [10:19] | What? No, I just– | |
| [10:20] | I don’t want to leave things emotionally ambiguous | |
| [10:23] | -or unresolved! -[Michael] I don’t want to leave | |
| [10:25] | without having some sense of the… | |
| [10:27] | -[distant] …value of this relationship! -What? | |
| [10:30] | [Ron] The farther away they got, the more they realized | |
| [10:33] | they did have to say to each other. | |
| [10:35] | -What? -[Michael] Stay there. | |
| [10:37] | I’m coming back. We’re coming back. | |
| [10:38] | [grunts] | |
| [11:04] | [Ron] And without the ability to speak, | |
| [11:06] | they resorted to a language they’d learned long ago. | |
| [11:15] | [Ron] Which was all that needed to be said, | |
| [11:18] | but the moment was short-lived. | |
| [11:47] | [gasping] | |
| [11:51] | [George Sr.] You do this! You always try to save everyone. | |
| [11:54] | I’m literally saving you. Come on. | |
| [11:57] | Turn over on your back, like an otter. | |
| [12:00] | -Were you trying to kill yourself? -No. | |
| [12:02] | I dropped my prize, and I was trying to find it. | |
| [12:05] | I would’ve been fine. | |
| [12:07] | Maybe I was trying to save you. Want to save me? Stop playing games with me. | |
| [12:11] | Stop trying to teach me a lesson by hiding Buster. | |
| [12:13] | I talked to a cop. I know someone got him. | |
| [12:15] | [George Sr.] Got him? Michael, we don’t have Buster. | |
| [12:18] | We would never make you worry. We love you. | |
| [12:21] | That’s why we got rid of your $700,000 debt. | |
| [12:25] | Hang on. What are you talking about? | |
| [12:26] | I thought that was Lucille 2. | |
| [12:28] | -You forgave the debt? -[George Sr.] Of course we did. | |
| [12:30] | I mean, well, no, technically, we forgot the debt. | |
| [12:33] | We can forget it, but we can never forgive it. | |
| [12:36] | -We need the write-off. -Why’d you think | |
| [12:37] | they were trying to teach you a lesson? | |
| [12:39] | [stammers] Because I was teaching them a lesson. | |
| [12:42] | -Huh? -[Michael] He knows. | |
| [12:43] | I declared Buster missing, | |
| [12:45] | and then they were gonna try to teach me a lesson, right? | |
| [12:49] | By having the fake Buster over at Lucille 2’s today when I walked in, so that I would still think | |
| [12:54] | that Buster was still missing. | |
| [12:56] | How did they know you were gonna walk in today? | |
| [13:00] | What’s that? | |
| [13:01] | It was a last-minute trip. | |
| [13:03] | You just came down to get your scuba gear. | |
| [13:05] | [Ron] It wasn’t a half bad point. | |
| [13:07] | Well, I gotta find a phone. | |
| [13:10] | [Ron] And back at the ceremony, Lucille had taken the podium | |
| [13:13] | to deliver a speech her daughter thought | |
| [13:16] | -she had failed to write. -“As grateful as I am | |
| [13:19] | to be with my family today, | |
| [13:21] | I want to make special mention of my only daughter, | |
| [13:25] | who thinks I didn’t write a speech. | |
| [13:27] | This young woman has had to show enormous strength, | |
| [13:31] | and not just to endure having me as a mother. | |
| [13:35] | [crowd laughs] | |
| [13:37] | But she’s the one we honor today, | |
| [13:39] | a woman I should have honored long ago, | |
| [13:42] | because I’ve got a daughter who has many faces, | |
| [13:46] | and all of them are beautiful. | |
| [13:48] | She stole my speech. | |
| [13:49] | Maybe you can show the world the smile I love so much. | |
| [13:53] | That doesn’t make sense without meth teeth! [Ron] But it made sense to Lindsay. | |
| [13:58] | I’ve been wanting to hear that. I didn’t think I would. | |
| [14:01] | -Well, now you have. -[Lindsay] God, it was my dream. | |
| [14:05] | What a waste of a dream. | |
| [14:08] | It’s nothing. [stammering] I can see that now. | |
| [14:13] | I think I’m gonna go now. | |
| [14:15] | Find out who my real family is. | |
| [14:17] | [Ron] And though her mother had stolen a speech from Maeby… | |
| [14:20] | Find my real mother. | |
| [14:22] | -…Lindsay stole a line from Michael. -I’m out of here. | |
| [14:25] | [Ron] Maeby had planned on humiliating her mother, | |
| [14:29] | but her mother was leaving, and she wanted to give her | |
| [14:31] | one last kiss goodbye, before the cameras left. | |
| [14:36] | But George Michael had learned a thing or two, | |
| [14:39] | and he learned both those things in Spain. | |
| [14:42] | -Hmm. -That takes the fun out of it. | |
| [14:44] | Maybe we should kiss again to teach them a lesson. Yeah? | |
| [14:48] | [officer] Okay, | |
| [14:50] | you’re presenting awards on a crime scene, and that is, | |
| [14:52] | of course, against the law. | |
| [14:54] | What the hell is going on?! | |
| [14:55] | Why? Because the banana stand is gone? | |
| [14:57] | [officer 2] No, because of the bloody trail that led to it. | |
| [15:00] | Ah, I’ve said too much. | |
| [15:02] | Where the hell did you run off to? | |
| [15:05] | Michael tried to kill himself. | |
| [15:06] | I got there in time to save him, | |
| [15:08] | -but he doesn’t have Buster. -What? | |
| [15:10] | [Ron] Which was good news for Tobias, who was already in his backup costume. | |
| [15:14] | And my name is Buster Bluth, and, yes, I am a monster. | |
| [15:17] | Buster? Isn’t he supposed to be in jail? | |
| [15:19] | Well, that’s not exactly what I was going for, but sure. | |
| [15:22] | [groans] Oh! But they’re buying it, see? | |
| [15:26] | Um, hey, uh, I just found out that they’re, uh, | |
| [15:28] | holding Buster in jail. | |
| [15:29] | -Buster’s in jail? -Why? | |
| [15:31] | He walked into the police station, and they’re holding him for something. | |
| [15:35] | Why would Buster go to the police? | |
| [15:37] | The truth, Mom? I told him to. | |
| [15:39] | But I wanted to make it clear that I’m never coming back again. | |
| [15:43] | [grunts] | |
| [15:46] | [Ron] And that’s when Michael decided to try out a new line. | |
| [15:49] | Okay, I will stay. | |
| [15:54] | [Ron] The Bluths were waiting for news about Buster, | |
| [15:57] | whom they’d just discovered had been in jail. | |
| [15:59] | Buster’s been trapped here for months. [Ron] His mother was worried. | |
| [16:04] | God knows what he’s told them. | |
| [16:06] | Like we don’t have enough on our plate | |
| [16:07] | with Lindsay running off before the election. | |
| [16:10] | I left word for Barry. The guy in his office thinks bail’s gonna be 50. | |
| [16:14] | Well, you’re paying for it, not us. | |
| [16:16] | That would wipe me out, Mom. | |
| [16:18] | This is your fault. | |
| [16:19] | You lied to us about Buster being missing | |
| [16:22] | to teach us a lesson. | |
| [16:23] | Because you lied to Buster that I agreed to look after him. | |
| [16:27] | I didn’t lie. | |
| [16:28] | I saw you that night at the pier and asked you to. | |
| [16:31] | [distorted voices] | |
| [16:35] | For the last time, I was not there. Or, if I was there, I have no memory. | |
| [16:39] | Okay. Does it matter who remembers what, Michael? | |
| [16:42] | Just forget that. | |
| [16:43] | [guard] Bluth? | |
| [16:45] | [George Sr.] Yes. | |
| [16:46] | Only one of you. | |
| [16:47] | Okay. | |
| [16:52] | -What? -You’re the one he’s gonna want to see. | |
| [16:54] | He didn’t want to see me last time I talked to him. | |
| [16:57] | He said he was all grown up and found a new mother. | |
| [17:00] | [G.O.B. laughs] God. | |
| [17:01] | What a baby thing to say. | |
| [17:04] | I think this is a job for the man in charge… | |
| [17:08] | of the president, so, Dad. | |
| [17:12] | [George Sr.] Okay. I’ll go in, | |
| [17:14] | but I don’t think it’s gonna help if I go in and take a swing at a guard. | |
| [17:18] | [stammering] Uh, maybe I stab one of them. | |
| [17:22] | No, the only way you’re stabbing anything is if you have a knife. | |
| [17:27] | That’s what he meant. | |
| [17:29] | -That’s what I meant. -Okay. I’m gonna go in. | |
| [17:32] | It’s getting rough out here. Guard? | |
| [17:35] | So, Mom wouldn’t come in, huh? | |
| [17:37] | How’d you know she was here? | |
| [17:39] | I can smell her on you. | |
| [17:41] | Ah. Right. I forgot, you’re good at that. | |
| [17:43] | I remember that time she changed her perfume | |
| [17:45] | and she lost you at the park. | |
| [17:47] | [laughing] Yeah. That never happened. | |
| [17:50] | It was at Nordstrom’s, and Mother was ambushed by the Charlie girl. | |
| [17:53] | Yes. And we found you in the break room with the Chanel man. | |
| [17:57] | He should never have lost his job for that. | |
| [18:00] | What happened? | |
| [18:01] | He was just giving me a Fanta! | |
| [18:02] | I know I should’ve spoken up for him, but I was only a boy. | |
| [18:06] | -Barely out of my teens. I didn’t– -Currently. | |
| [18:09] | I’m wondering what happened here. You were supposed to lay low, remember? | |
| [18:13] | Go to the station, say you’re not missing. | |
| [18:15] | That’s what I did. I was supposed to be mother bait, | |
| [18:18] | but mother never came to pick me up. | |
| [18:20] | Mm-hmm. | |
| [18:22] | Did she even know I was missing? | |
| [18:24] | No. You were no longer missing after you got arrested. | |
| [18:26] | Did you tell them that you found Lucille 2 passed out on the stair car? | |
| [18:30] | I said “dead.” | |
| [18:33] | Maybe they said “dead,” and I said, “I wish.” | |
| [18:36] | Why’d you do that? | |
| [18:37] | I thought it was funny. [laughs] | |
| [18:39] | Oh, by the way, I also told you that I saw her | |
| [18:41] | on the stair car, Michael. | |
| [18:43] | -I thought you were trying to be funny. -You have a weird sense of humor. | |
| [18:47] | [Ron] Weeks earlier… | |
| [18:48] | Tell me why she’s there one minute and gone the next. | |
| [18:50] | …the cops had no sense of humor. | |
| [18:52] | [Buster] Maybe she crawled away. | |
| [18:53] | She was always falling down or crawling away | |
| [18:57] | or rolling off-camera and stuff. | |
| [18:59] | I don’t know why it’s a crime to not know where someone is. | |
| [19:02] | No. It’s– This part is the crime. | |
| [19:04] | [Ron] Having seen he was caught on camera, | |
| [19:06] | Buster had tried to erase the security tape. | |
| [19:09] | Unfortunately, to do so, | |
| [19:11] | he used his nephew’s software, Fakeblock, | |
| [19:14] | which was fake, so it couldn’t block anything. | |
| [19:17] | -But it was easy to dance to. -[Buster] Oh! | |
| [19:20] | [laughs] | |
| [19:21] | That’s because if you saw the first video, | |
| [19:24] | you’d think, “Why didn’t that guy just erase this?” | |
| [19:26] | Some might consider that tampering with evidence. | |
| [19:30] | -Thanks. You can go. -[Buster] Thank you. | |
| [19:32] | [scoffs] You had me come all the way down here | |
| [19:35] | so I could play a video off our Dropbox? | |
| [19:37] | Oh. “Okay, evidence guy, we’re done with you.” | |
| [19:41] | Well, it’s your job. | |
| [19:42] | Putting it on Dropbox is my job. | |
| [19:44] | Walking a mile to my parking spot | |
| [19:46] | ’cause you can’t admit you don’t know how to use Dropbox! | |
| [19:49] | That’s not even his job. | |
| [19:51] | He’s as much of a detective as someone | |
| [19:53] | -with “detective” in their title. -I don’t care about | |
| [19:55] | -the evidence guy. -Join the club. | |
| [19:56] | Why were you trying to erase a tape? | |
| [19:58] | I panicked. | |
| [19:59] | I had had a fight with Lucille 2 because she made me miss Mom’s trial, | |
| [20:02] | and I guess somebody saw us fighting, and if anything happened to her, you know they love to blame it on the crazy vet. | |
| [20:08] | [gasps] Oh. I’m trying to do air quotes, | |
| [20:11] | but they metal-strapped my hand because people were using it | |
| [20:13] | to make tattoos when I was asleep. | |
| [20:14] | -What’s going on with the other? -This is so I don’t take the strap off. | |
| [20:18] | Got it. Okay, I got a call into Barry. | |
| [20:20] | -[gasps] -He’s gonna get you out, and I’m sure | |
| [20:22] | nothing you’ve said is admissible, unless you’ve– | |
| [20:25] | Waived my rights to an attorney? I did. | |
| [20:27] | -What for? | -What for? You told me to. |
| [20:31] | Plus, I didn’t want the evidence guy to have walked all that way for nothing. | |
| [20:38] | [Ron] Michael had just left the prison | |
| [20:40] | -when his attorney called. -[Barry] I’m here. | |
| [20:42] | At the prison? You’re at the prison? | |
| [20:44] | Yeah. And I’m not making a lot of friends, either. | |
| [20:47] | The guards hate me, ’cause what is a defense attorney doing here? | |
| [20:51] | And the inmates hate me, | |
| [20:52] | ’cause what is a defense attorney doing in the shower? | |
| [20:55] | What are you doing in there, Barry? | |
| [20:57] | Legally, it’s the only place they can’t record you | |
| [20:59] | when you talk to inmates. | |
| [21:00] | -[Michael] I don’t think that’s true. -Really? | |
| [21:03] | -I got the worst [bleeps] clients. -Look, have you seen Buster? | |
| [21:07] | No, my hands are tied till you post bail. | |
| [21:10] | I think the clerk said it was $50,000. | |
| [21:12] | Call Raphael at Atomic Bonds, tell him it’s for Barry. | |
| [21:16] | We can talk next steps with Buster at your place tomorrow in person. | |
| [21:20] | -I prefer things face-to-face. -Less chance of a misunderstanding. | |
| [21:24] | Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll get the bail. I’ll cover it. | |
| [21:26] | I just, I hope that our position has not been greatly weakened. | |
| [21:30] | Of course we’re gonna have a great weekend. | |
| [21:32] | Talk to you later. | |
| [21:33] | [Ron] And so, the next day, the family gathered | |
| [21:36] | under a banner they’d been repurposing for a party | |
| [21:39] | customized to Buster’s limited palate. | |
| [21:46] | Uh, yeah, I guess I’ll take a hamburger with two tops. | |
| [21:51] | Michael said Barry would be here with Buster over an hour ago. | |
| [21:54] | Maybe Buster made him stop to make sure nobody found the body. | |
| [21:57] | [chuckles] Lucille 2’s fine. | |
| [21:59] | Believe me, she’s somewhere with a new chin, | |
| [22:02] | sipping steak through a straw. | |
| [22:04] | You know, if Buster was a murderer, | |
| [22:06] | your mother would be in danger. | |
| [22:08] | Maybe I should move into the cottage with you two. | |
| [22:12] | That way, one of us can always be awake. | |
| [22:15] | As your therapist, I encourage you | |
| [22:17] | to let go of relationships that don’t serve you. | |
| [22:21] | You’re no longer my therapist. | |
| [22:23] | Okay. We’re making progress. | |
| [22:25] | Then, as your roommate, I encourage you to claim your space. | |
| [22:29] | You’re no longer my roommate. | |
| [22:31] | You are just progressing by leaps and bounds. [chuckles] | |
| [22:35] | A victim of my own competence. [chuckles] | |
| [22:37] | And this goes for your– hold this– | |
| [22:41] | “acting partner,” too. | |
| [22:42] | Oh, he’s more than my acting partner. | |
| [22:45] | Much more. He’s my, uh… | |
| [22:48] | [both] Boyfriend. | |
| [22:50] | [laughs] They think, they think that we’re boyfriends, Dad. | |
| [22:53] | Well, thanks for giving away that surprise! | |
| [22:55] | -[laughs] -I’m his bastard father. | |
| [22:58] | This is my bastard son, Murphybrown. | |
| [23:01] | Murphy? And his last name is Brown? | |
| [23:03] | No. Murphybrown is his first name. | |
| [23:05] | His last name is… uh… Well, now it’s Fünke. | |
| [23:09] | -Oh, that’s how you say it. -[Tobias] Yes. | |
| [23:11] | He’s named after a famous private investigator who worked | |
| [23:14] | for the Chicago Sun-Times and then for The Washington Post. | |
| [23:18] | I believe it is a character from TV | |
| [23:21] | that was played by Candice Bergen. | |
| [23:23] | [Murphybrown] Mm. | |
| [23:25] | Well, that is a coincidence. [laughs] | |
| [23:28] | Uh, now I have two things to be embarrassed about, | |
| [23:31] | the second being keeping this a secret for so long, and… | |
| [23:34] | I feel like I should apologize to maybe… | |
| [23:39] | half the people in this room, | |
| [23:41] | but maybe most of all… | |
| [23:44] | Mother Bluth, because bringing my son | |
| [23:47] | back into our family clearly drove Lindsay away. | |
| [23:50] | Wait, Mom left? | |
| [23:52] | Then why am I wearing this? | |
| [23:54] | Oh, uh, before I forget, this is your half-sister, Maeby. | |
| [23:58] | [Murphybrown] Close one! I think | |
| [24:00] | -she’s rather very hot. -[sighs] | |
| [24:03] | She okay? | |
| [24:04] | Oh, she’ll be fine. | |
| [24:06] | I was here for her entire childhood. | |
| [24:09] | Let’s put a nugget in your mouth. | |
| [24:11] | [Murphybrown] You’re being sweet to me. | |
| [24:13] | -[knocking] -[Lucille] He’s here. He’s here! | |
| [24:15] | -Should we hide? Everybody, hide. -He’s innocent, coward. | |
| [24:18] | [gasps] | |
| [24:20] | Oh, God, Barry. Barry. | |
| [24:23] | You guys, you guys, you are the best! | |
| [24:26] | -This is so wonderful. -[Michael] Barry? | |
| [24:28] | -[Barry] Yeah? -Where’s Buster? | |
| [24:30] | In jail. [gasps] | |
| [24:32] | Is this your cover just to throw me this party? | |
| [24:37] | -Thank you. -Barry, what’s– hang on. | |
| [24:39] | What’s going on? I talked to you. I told you Buster was in jail. | |
| [24:42] | You said you were, too, and that if I could get bail | |
| [24:44] | to your guy… | |
| [24:46] | …then we can talk next steps with Buster | |
| [24:48] | at your place tomorrow in person. | |
| [24:51] | Thanks. | |
| [24:53] | [Michael] So, you’re saying I paid to bail you out? | |
| [24:55] | You weren’t gonna leave me there, were you? | |
| [24:57] | I did not know you were in jail. | |
| [24:59] | That’s why I like to do things face-to-face, okay? | |
| [25:01] | -Understood. -[G.O.B. laughs] Oh-ho-ho! | |
| [25:03] | Michael, you did it! | |
| [25:05] | You didn’t know that Barry was in jail? | |
| [25:07] | [laughs] God, this is so… This is hysterical. This is priceless. | |
| [25:10] | One for the ages, Dad. | |
| [25:11] | No, this is never gonna get out of my system. | |
| [25:15] | [laughing breathlessly] | |
| [25:17] | -You okay? -What made you think Buster was in jail? | |
| [25:20] | -You thought that he was gonna kill you. -True. | |
| [25:24] | G.O.B., Buster is in jail. | |
| [25:28] | Oh. Right. | |
| [25:31] | We were just there. | |
| [25:33] | Michael made an honest mistake. | |
| [25:37] | Geez, I hope Buster doesn’t kill us for laughing. | |
| [25:43] | [Ron] With danger lurking, the Bluth family tightens their ranks. | |
| [25:47] | -This doesn’t leave this house! -All right. | |
| [25:49] | All right. It’s fine. The boy can be trusted. | |
| [25:51] | Are we absolutely sure about that? | |
| [25:54] | Why don’t we let the boy speak for himself? | |
| [25:58] | Am I the boy? | |
| [25:59] | -I’ve never heard a man ask that question. -Nor have I. | |
| [26:02] | [George Sr.] You know what would be a good idea? | |
| [26:05] | Why don’t you get me a Fanta on your way out of the family. | |
| [26:07] | It’s in the fridge. |