| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:11] | [Ron Howard] Michael had decided to leave town, | |
| [00:14] | and needed to get out of his obligation to make a movie | |
| [00:17] | -about his family. -Michael! You had one job. | |
| [00:19] | You had to get your son to sign the releases! | |
| [00:22] | Ron Howard wants to make a heartfelt father-son drama | |
| [00:25] | that has a good clean message for his illegitimate daughter to star in. | |
| [00:28] | Don’t pull this on me! We’ve already reserved | |
| [00:30] | the soundstages and he’s already started paying off -the Hollywood Foreign Press. -[Ron] No, they’re great. | |
| [00:34] | -She’s funny. -I understand all of that. | |
| [00:36] | Okay, but Rebel is part of the reason why I can’t do this. | |
| [00:39] | My son is dating her, and I don’t want to get | |
| [00:41] | in the way. If I could talk to Ron, | |
| [00:43] | -No. No. I am in charge -I’m sure he and I… | |
| [00:44] | of this movie right now. My ass is on the line | |
| [00:46] | while Ron makes a real movie in Mexico. | |
| [00:49] | -Mexico, okay. -You don’t understand | |
| [00:51] | how hard it is in Hollywood right now. | |
| [00:52] | You have to crank out family dramas | |
| [00:54] | before they let you make your dream superhero movie. | |
| [00:57] | Do you have a dream superhero movie? | |
| [00:59] | I want to remake Spider-Man 2, the first one. | |
| [01:02] | Or something that at least has a hook. | |
| [01:04] | -…little girl! [screams] -Oh, God! Damn it. | |
| [01:07] | My brother Buster has something better than a hook. | |
| [01:10] | A robot hand. Okay? And there’s a cop looking for him. | |
| [01:13] | -Hmm. -And they can’t find Lucille 2. | |
| [01:16] | And I found Buster in the attic in scuba gear. | |
| [01:18] | It’s intriguing. I think that’s your movie. | |
| [01:20] | -That’s your guy. -No. | |
| [01:21] | Okay, I’ve got his release right here. | |
| [01:23] | [Ron] In fact, it was the only family member’s release… | |
| [01:26] | You’re out of the movie. | You’re out of the movie. |
| [01:28] | -…he hadn’t destroyed. -You’re out of the movie. | |
| [01:30] | You’re out of the movie! Know what? | |
| [01:32] | -You’re out of the movie. -Fine. | |
| [01:33] | Hey, Dad, how ya doing? | |
| [01:35] | -You’re out of the movie! -[Michael] With Buster, | |
| [01:38] | it is not father-son, it’s more mother-son. | |
| [01:40] | But if you could get Rebel to play Lucille, you know… | |
| [01:43] | If she could go that unlikable. | |
| [01:45] | So that’s his release right here. | |
| [01:47] | These are the other releases. You need tape, | |
| [01:49] | but they’re pretty clean. | |
| [01:51] | You’re off the picture, Michael. I’ll give you your 500 bucks. | |
| [01:55] | -I get paid? -They’re Imagine dollars. | |
| [01:57] | They’re redeemable in the gift shop. | |
| [01:59] | -That’s Ron Howard. -Brian’s on the 50. | |
| [02:01] | It’s a severance thing they’re doing because of Ron’s need to be loved | |
| [02:04] | and Brian’s conflict avoidance issues. | |
| [02:06] | [Ron] Michael had gotten into something he wanted no part of. | |
| [02:09] | I’m sure they’ve got a very old relationship. | |
| [02:11] | I could tell you stories. | |
| [02:12] | [Ron] But she wouldn’t dare. And after a quick stop downstairs… | |
| [02:15] | I think I’m gonna take | |
| [02:17] | one Gung Ho kimono, okay? | |
| [02:19] | Oh, and maybe a Brian wig. That’s fun. | |
| [02:21] | -Oh, we only sell these as a set. -[line ringing] | |
| [02:23] | They were getting very competitive. | |
| [02:25] | -Were they? -[whispers] Brian was. | |
| [02:27] | …and another call to his son… | |
| [02:28] | [George Michael] You’ve reached George Maharis. | |
| [02:30] | [in normal voice] Did you want that Rebel Alley hair? | |
| [02:32] | Oh. Uh, no no. | |
| [02:34] | That’s… that is mine. | |
| [02:35] | -I came with that. Uh, okay. -…Michael headed home | |
| [02:38] | to tell Buster his plan for making the family come back. | |
| [02:41] | I’ve sent away the fumigator, and all you got to do, | |
| [02:44] | so we can declare you missing, | |
| [02:46] | is stay out of sight for about 72 hours. | |
| [02:48] | -Milford style. -Hmm? | |
| [02:50] | -I’m a Milford man, Michael. -Yeah? | |
| [02:52] | Winner of 1982’s Least Seen on Campus. | |
| [02:57] | I wish I could’ve seen their faces | |
| [02:58] | -at the ceremony. -We just, | |
| [03:00] | you know, we gotta play this right and, uh, | |
| [03:02] | you gotta make sure you don’t… | |
| [03:04] | -well, show your hand. -This is one of only two things | |
| [03:07] | the Army warns us about when they issue these. | |
| [03:10] | Boy, Kitty does not know what she’s sitting on. | |
| [03:13] | Pal, I’m gonna call you from, uh, wherever I end up, | |
| [03:16] | and you’re gonna be great. | |
| [03:18] | I-I just don’t understand why I can’t go with you, Michael. | |
| [03:21] | It’s about teaching them a lesson. | |
| [03:23] | -Mm-hmm. -So… And I just, | |
| [03:24] | I got in a big fight with my son, you know. | |
| [03:26] | It was my fault. For so many years, | |
| [03:28] | I was his mom and dad, so… | |
| [03:30] | Maybe that’s a role I can play in your life. | |
| [03:33] | [stammers] Don’t say– | |
| [03:34] | Mom. Mmm. | |
| [03:38] | I thought you were gonna say Dad. | |
| [03:39] | -Mm-mm. -But, you know, | |
| [03:41] | it’s a bummer that you can’t come with me, Buster, | |
| [03:43] | but you need to stay and talk to the cops. | |
| [03:45] | [Buster] Cops? What cops? | |
| [03:46] | -Why would you bring the cops into this? -They’re already looking for you. | |
| [03:50] | What? The cops are looking for me? | |
| [03:52] | -A cop, actually. -I can’t be talking to the cops. | |
| [03:54] | -Listen. -I don’t do good with the cops. | |
| [03:56] | I didn’t do anything. I don’t know what’s going on. | |
| [03:58] | -Relax. -I ain’t got no truck with no blue. | |
| [04:00] | Nothing to worry about. | |
| [04:01] | They’re looking for Lucille Austero. They want to question you. | |
| [04:04] | Why would I know anything about Lucille 2? I hope you didn’t say we were dating. | |
| [04:07] | Uh, well, I mean, you… you did live with her. | |
| [04:11] | Well, I lived with Mother. Did you think we were dating? [chuckles] | |
| [04:15] | -Question’s been asked. -[whimpers] | |
| [04:17] | -Do you actually know where Lucille 2 is? -No! | |
| [04:20] | No! A thousand times, no! | |
| [04:23] | Is that what they’ll ask? | |
| [04:24] | ‘Cause it’s not like I’m gonna remember details | |
| [04:26] | about where I saw her and what we fought about. | |
| [04:28] | Oh, you fought? | |
| [04:29] | You kept me from Mother? You sent her to prison? | |
| [04:33] | [growls] | |
| [04:36] | Should I not say that? | |
| [04:38] | -I’m not good with the cops. -Right. | |
| [04:41] | What if Lucille 2 doesn’t come back? | |
| [04:43] | Don’t worry about that. She– I just spoke to her today. | |
| [04:47] | -What? In person? -Yeah. Uh, no. | |
| [04:50] | On the phone. She’s fine. | |
| [04:51] | Well, you could’ve told me that from the beginning. | |
| [04:53] | This is not about Lucille 2. This is about teaching Mom | |
| [04:55] | -a lesson, you know. -Oh. | |
| [04:57] | I mean, she just splits town | |
| [04:58] | and assumes I’m gonna take care of everything? | |
| [05:01] | You know, this is just a way to, uh… | |
| [05:02] | -Give Mom a little scare. -Yeah. | |
| [05:04] | Yeah. Let them race back into town and save everyone for a change. | |
| [05:08] | There’s nothing to worry about. | |
| [05:09] | Just Mama’s worst nightmare. Buster’s missing. | |
| [05:12] | Oh, and his bath has gone cold. [laughs] | |
| [05:15] | [Ron] Buster was on board. | |
| [05:17] | Maybe have a full psych panel while you’re in there, too. | |
| [05:20] | Oh, those things are so easy to beat. | |
| [05:23] | [Ron] Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, | |
| [05:26] | and the one son who had no choice | |
| [05:28] | but to keep them all together. | |
| [05:36] | It’s… | |
| [05:42] | Having traveled south of the border, | |
| [05:44] | George Sr. and his son G.O.B. found themselves | |
| [05:47] | at a Mexican singles bar. | |
| [05:48] | -It’s dead. -Yeah. Second place in a row. | |
| [05:51] | [Ron] Each looking for an excuse for their lack of heterosexual vigor. | |
| [05:54] | Where are all the blondes? It’s just… | |
| [05:56] | [Ron] But it wasn’t a blonde G.O.B. was thinking about. | |
| [05:59] | His recent rivalry with magician Tony Wonder | |
| [06:02] | had blossomed into a kind of friendship… | |
| [06:06] | before contracting into a rivalry again. | |
| [06:09] | [both] Same. | |
| [06:10] | [Ron] Which suddenly became a… | |
| [06:12] | oh, let’s say, boarding school romance. | |
| [06:15] | Uh, this place is full of… [sighs] | |
| [06:18] | cincos and mayos. | |
| [06:21] | We need to find out whatever the word for ten is. | |
| [06:23] | -Find that. -It’s ten. | |
| [06:25] | -Every culture uses ten. -Ten. [Ron] It wouldn’t matter if it was an 11, | |
| [06:29] | because George Sr., too, had changed recently… | |
| [06:32] | It blew off at the CVS parking lot. | |
| [06:34] | …having lost all sexual feeling of late | |
| [06:37] | -despite some very progressive therapy. -Hopi Indians believe that this spot… | |
| [06:41] | -Okay. -…when manipulated, | |
| [06:42] | can create sexual feeling. | |
| [06:44] | -That’s my penis. -You don’t have to tell me. | |
| [06:46] | [Ron] Which sent him into his crisis… | |
| [06:47] | [doctor] I can get hard, so let’s focus on you. | |
| [06:50] | …of masculinity. | |
| [06:51] | Hey, these are from the ladies across the bar. | |
| [06:53] | -They’re primas. -[George Sr.] Primos, huh? | |
| [06:57] | I’ve gotta be honest, I’ve seen better. | |
| [06:59] | Huh? Eh. | |
| [07:01] | No, it means cousins. | |
| [07:02] | One hates her father, and the other hates her grandfather. | |
| [07:06] | [Ron] It seemed the cervezas | |
| [07:08] | weren’t the only thing being handed to the guys on a platter. | |
| [07:12] | I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer the thrill of the hunt, | |
| [07:15] | -as opposed to… -[George Sr.] If we wait, | |
| [07:17] | something a little better will come along. | |
| [07:19] | Thank you. | |
| [07:20] | Not trying to fall head over heels here. | |
| [07:22] | Yeah. Yeah. | |
| [07:24] | Not super eager to be, uh, missing somebody. | |
| [07:26] | -Yeah. -[chuckles] I mean, who you love. | |
| [07:33] | -Place gives me the creeps. Let’s get out. -Yeah. It’s dead. | |
| [07:36] | [Ron] But back in America, Michael was working on a way | |
| [07:39] | to make his runaway family return. | |
| [07:42] | So, we gotta wait about 48 hours before we declare you missing, | |
| [07:45] | -and then they put out an APB. -APB. | |
| [07:47] | “Aw, poor Buster.” | |
| [07:48] | -That’s nice. -Well… | |
| [07:49] | You gotta lay low long enough for Mom and Dad to hear about it. | |
| [07:52] | And, pal, I would take you with me, but truth is, I just, | |
| [07:54] | I don’t know if I’m gonna come back. | |
| [08:02] | Oh. [chuckling] | |
| [08:05] | What’s so funny? | |
| [08:06] | You always come back to save the family. We joke about that all the time. | |
| [08:11] | Well, I don’t know what the joke is. I’ve been trying to do the right thing. | |
| [08:15] | [laughs] “Hi, I’m Michael, | |
| [08:17] | and I save everyone so I feel special, even though you don’t deserve it. | |
| [08:21] | I’m leaving. I won’t be coming back.” | |
| [08:22] | -Buster… -“Oh! | |
| [08:24] | Look who’s back. | |
| [08:25] | I thought we were supposed to go [bleeps] with a [bleeps].” | |
| [08:28] | “Mmm, you would know, Mother. You practically invented | |
| [08:31] | [bleeps] [bleeps] when you get sauced!” [gasps] | |
| [08:34] | “How dare you point that limp [bleeps] | |
| [08:36] | hook at me when I saved you from one! | |
| [08:39] | I can’t believe I pushed you out of my [bleeps], | |
| [08:42] | you useless [bleeps] freak!” | |
| [08:46] | -[inhales deeply] -Covered a lot of ground there. | |
| [08:48] | Yeah. | |
| [08:49] | Although I’m glad I won’t be leaving you alone. | |
| [08:52] | Oh, I’m going with you? | |
| [08:53] | No, I’m going to Mexico or something, | |
| [08:55] | and you gotta go to the police station. | |
| [08:57] | -Oh, right. Why do they arrest me? -They don’t. | |
| [08:59] | You go to the police station ’cause you say, | |
| [09:01] | “Heard you were looking for me. Here I am.” | |
| [09:03] | Oh, but you said a cop had questions for me. | |
| [09:05] | Mm-hmm. About Lucille 2. | |
| [09:06] | And I’m not gonna answer any questions, right? | |
| [09:08] | -No. Answer the questions. -When Barry says it’s okay. | |
| [09:11] | Barry’s not there. No attorneys. Just tell the truth. | |
| [09:13] | Okay, like, bad example, | |
| [09:15] | I saw Lucille 2’s lifeless body sprawled across the stair car? | |
| [09:24] | Perfect. If that’s what happened, tell them. | |
| [09:26] | Nothing to be nervous about, okay? | |
| [09:28] | Lucille 2 is probably gonna be back | |
| [09:29] | from whatever bender she’s on. | |
| [09:31] | She’s gonna be as dry as, uh… | |
| [09:33] | well, Lucille 1. | |
| [09:35] | I can hear Mother winking now. | |
| [09:36] | So, I got some groceries. These are gonna have to last. | |
| [09:39] | You already got into the candy bears, huh? | |
| [09:42] | [Buster] This is literally one of only | |
| [09:43] | two things the Army warns about when they issue these. | |
| [09:46] | -Let me help. -I think they spent | |
| [09:48] | $27 million on the wrong guy. | |
| [09:50] | Don’t you say that about you. Well… | |
| [09:52] | Maybe you do say that. Maybe that’s important to say. [Ron] And certain his mother would have to return | |
| [09:58] | to take responsibility for this particular son, | |
| [10:01] | Michael went to say goodbye to his own. | |
| [10:05] | [knocking on door] | |
| [10:10] | -[phone vibrates] -Ooh. | |
| [10:12] | Hey, I am outside your door. | |
| [10:13] | I was this close to telling you. You inside? | |
| [10:15] | [Lucille 2] Hi, it’s Lucille Austero. | |
| [10:17] | -No! -I’ve been looking for you. | |
| [10:20] | -Note, I mean. -[Lucille 2 chattering] | |
| [10:21] | I know, I’d left you a note, | |
| [10:23] | -and, can you hear me? -[Lucille 2 continues chattering] | |
| [10:26] | Hello? Hello? Here we go again. | |
| [10:29] | Getting disconnected. | |
| [10:30] | This is why you always… leave a note. | |
| [10:34] | Always leave a note. | |
| [10:36] | Where’s that from? | |
| [10:38] | [Ron] Michael discovered a note he’d already written. | |
| [10:41] | [Michael] “Are you avoiding me? Ha ha. | |
| [10:43] | Leaving town for a while. Love you. | |
| [10:45] | -Michael Bluth.” -[Ron] It worked well. | |
| [10:52] | But perhaps if Michael had taken a few seconds | |
| [10:55] | to write an original note before leaving town, | |
| [10:58] | he would’ve run into George Michael, who was coming to see him… | |
| [11:04] | only to come across a cousin he didn’t recognize. | |
| [11:07] | -Hey. Know if anyone’s home? -[Steve] Uh, yeah, Buster’s in there. | |
| [11:09] | But if you’re looking for Michael, you just missed him. | |
| [11:14] | -[sighs] -Oh, so much for apologizing. | |
| [11:16] | I’m telling you, he’s moved on. | |
| [11:18] | -Okay? You should, too. -[Steve] I just found out | |
| [11:21] | my dad went to Mexico without telling me. | |
| [11:22] | [chuckles] Welcome to the shitty parents club. | |
| [11:24] | -No, no, we don’t have kids. -No. | |
| [11:26] | [Ron] Although there was a kid | |
| [11:28] | that Maeby was eager to get away from. | |
| [11:30] | You know, Mexico sounds far from Perfecto. | |
| [11:33] | So that’s perfect. What do you say? Screw it! | |
| [11:35] | No rules. Anything goes. | |
| [11:37] | [Ron] A rebounding George Michael found the offer intriguing. | |
| [11:41] | -Just the cousins. -Mm-hmm. | |
| [11:43] | [Ron] Which turned out to be… | |
| [11:44] | -Primos! [laughs] -…this crew. | |
| [11:48] | -Why do you keep yelling that? -[laughing] Stop it. | |
| [11:51] | Ah. | |
| [11:55] | [Ron] Not far away, Michael was also heading to Mexico. | |
| [11:58] | And after taking care of one last bit of business… | |
| [12:01] | [Michael] It’s Buster Bluth, that’s right. | |
| [12:03] | Uh, yeah, I’m completely sure he’s been gone 72 hours. | |
| [12:06] | As a matter of fact, his bath has grown cold. | |
| [12:08] | So that’s, uh, an alarm bell right there. | |
| [12:11] | [Ron] …Michael was ready to hit bottom | |
| [12:12] | -and go off the map. -[Michael] Thanks so much. | |
| [12:14] | [Ron] But that’s hard to do | |
| [12:16] | when you’re driving a car that makes maps. | |
| [12:19] | [Michael] No pictures, thank you! | |
| [12:20] | Put your phones down. We take the pictures. | |
| [12:22] | [Ron] When the fleet of recovery vans arrived | |
| [12:25] | from the search engine Michael had been working for, | |
| [12:28] | he discovered that the car that takes the pictures | |
| [12:31] | -was no longer under his control. -No! Window up. | |
| [12:33] | -Window… -Hi, I’m Dave from Mapping. | |
| [12:35] | She’s Lisa from Traditional Search. | |
| [12:38] | -And that’s Jeff. -I’m Jeff from Earth. | |
| [12:41] | -Hi. Hi, guys. -[Dave] We heard we had a runaway ostrich, | |
| [12:43] | and, uh, we need you to return the car. | |
| [12:46] | Oh, yeah. Sorry. Am I under arrest? | |
| [12:48] | Oh, no. They never arrest the drivers. | |
| [12:50] | They do come down pretty hard on the cars, | |
| [12:52] | but it’s cheaper to just retrain the people instead. | |
| [12:55] | It sounds super futuristic and dystopian, but it’s really not. | |
| [12:58] | [Ron] Earth was right. | |
| [13:00] | Because once he had been escorted back | |
| [13:02] | to the impressive campus of company headquarters, | |
| [13:05] | Michael found himself settling into a new | |
| [13:08] | and generally carefree life, | |
| [13:10] | one that couldn’t have been farther | |
| [13:12] | from the bottom he’d forgotten about hitting. | |
| [13:14] | -[Michael grunts] -[Ron] Ironically, Michael’s son | |
| [13:16] | had also experienced car troubles in Mexico, | |
| [13:19] | and he wandered across his grandfather’s deserted land | |
| [13:22] | hoping to find a spare tire… | |
| [13:24] | Can’t believe you didn’t know who I was. | |
| [13:25] | -…and lose a third wheel. -Well, there’s nothing we can say. | |
| [13:29] | I wouldn’t blame you if you took off and you don’t come back. | |
| [13:32] | Nah. | |
| [13:33] | Primos stick together. | |
| [13:36] | Oh. “Cousin.” It means “cousins.” | |
| [13:38] | -That makes sense. -[gunfire] | |
| [13:39] | [horse neighs] | |
| [13:40] | [Ron] But the land proved not to be deserted, after all. | |
| [13:43] | [men shouting] | |
| [13:48] | [Ron] And as the menacing horsemen descended on the travelers, | |
| [13:52] | George Michael found himself tempted | |
| [13:53] | to bring up his dust allergies… | |
| [13:55] | -We got a lot of dust. -…but hinted at them instead. | |
| [13:59] | And they would soon discover… | |
| [14:00] | -You are not welcome here. -[horse neighs] | |
| [14:03] | Oh, so sorry, we j– Our car broke down. | |
| [14:06] | We thought we might find somebody we know. | |
| [14:07] | My grandfather owns this land. | |
| [14:09] | That is not what the sign says. | |
| [14:12] | ♪ Mr. Efe ♪ | |
| [14:15] | I am the elder here. This is our land. | |
| [14:18] | And you would be wise to never be seen here again. Strum! | |
| [14:22] | [strums guitar] | |
| [14:25] | Now, if you’ll excuse us, we must say buenos días. | |
| [14:28] | -Vamos, vamos. -Play the guitar, old man! | |
| [14:31] | -Strum! Strum! -[playing guitar] | |
| [14:33] | [Ron] And George Michael asked the question anyone might. | |
| [14:36] | Who were those scary, handsome Mexicans | |
| [14:39] | on those magical horses? | |
| [14:41] | They just looked like old white men to me. | |
| [14:43] | Oh. | |
| [14:44] | We should probably get out of here. | |
| [14:46] | Yeah, I mean, I’ve got a big job on Monday, anyway. | |
| [14:49] | I was gonna have to leave early, and I didn’t know how to tell you. | |
| [14:52] | But now we can just all go together. | |
| [14:55] | [Ron] And that’s when he saw his opening. | |
| [14:57] | Never. | |
| [14:59] | Never. Are you…? | |
| [15:01] | No. I mean, we’re Bluths. | |
| [15:03] | We’re gonna stay. Maeby, too. We’re… | |
| [15:04] | The two of us are gonna stay. | |
| [15:06] | [Ron] And soon, being with his cousin was no longer | |
| [15:08] | -an obstacle… -[George Michael] Crazy asshole. | |
| [15:10] | …to George Michael’s hope of being with his cousin. | |
| [15:13] | I was wondering how you were gonna get rid of him. | |
| [15:15] | -Was I that obvious? -I just know that you don’t like | |
| [15:17] | standing up to people on horses with guns. | |
| [15:19] | No, I never really was that guy. | |
| [15:21] | -Let’s find a bar. -Okay. Yeah, I’d love that. | |
| [15:23] | [Ron] And so, after getting out of their dusty clothes, | |
| [15:25] | the two did just that. | |
| [15:27] | And George Michael | |
| [15:28] | was soon getting a real feel for the people. | |
| [15:31] | Hey. You’re not gonna believe this. | |
| [15:33] | I met these guys that are actually from Orange County. And two of them also go to UCI. | |
| [15:37] | Two of them are named Noah, but not the two that you’d think. | |
| [15:40] | -Cool? -Really cool. | |
| [15:41] | They’re staying here, renting a place while they do this language course. | |
| [15:44] | We could stay with them. | |
| [15:46] | I’m thinking about heading back. | |
| [15:47] | N… Wait, look. | |
| [15:48] | If this is about me firing you from Fakeblock, | |
| [15:51] | there’s something you should know. | |
| [15:53] | Fakeblock doesn’t actually exist. | |
| [15:56] | Are you telling me that the software | |
| [15:59] | that’s supposed to keep people’s computers unhackable | |
| [16:02] | and keep any kind of information private doesn’t exist? | |
| [16:08] | How did you find out? | |
| [16:09] | It was easy. I just looked in your computer under “Secrets.” | |
| [16:12] | Oh, you looked in my “Please Don’t Read” folder? | |
| [16:14] | No, that one was empty. I found it in “Just Odds and Ends.” | |
| [16:17] | Great, you got past my double bluff. | |
| [16:18] | It’s okay, George Michael. You worry too much. | |
| [16:22] | Yeah, that keeps me up at night, actually. | |
| [16:24] | I just feel like I gotta move on with my life, you know? | |
| [16:28] | Find some meaning. | |
| [16:30] | Get going with my own goop. | |
| [16:31] | Goop? What is goop? | |
| [16:33] | If you have to ask, you probably don’t know what it is. | |
| [16:36] | I don’t know what it is. | |
| [16:37] | I feel like maybe you don’t know what it is. | |
| [16:39] | Maybe it’s “go-op”? | |
| [16:41] | To me, that would make less sense. Maybe that’s what “go-op” is. | |
| [16:45] | Not everything always making sense. | |
| [16:49] | [Ron] It isn’t. | |
| [16:50] | Meanwhile, George Sr. and G.O.B. continued trying | |
| [16:53] | to out-goop each other. | |
| [16:55] | I won’t tell Mom about all the ladies you’re [bleeps] | |
| [16:58] | if you don’t tell Mom about all the ladies I’m [bleeps]. | |
| [17:01] | Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look at that one coming up. | |
| [17:04] | Where, where? Oh, my God. | |
| [17:05] | Oh, she’s hot. She’s so hot. Dibs! | |
| [17:08] | No, no, no, Daddy saw her first. | |
| [17:10] | -Daddy dibs. -She got a friend or…? | |
| [17:12] | She’s got a friend! That’s a friend? | |
| [17:15] | [G.O.B.] Bush. Trash bag and bush. | |
| [17:18] | -Thought it was a woman. -Yeah. | |
| [17:20] | -Like, hunched over, right? -Yeah. | |
| [17:22] | Like, with the… I wanted to do her so bad. | |
| [17:25] | Wow. I mean, I… And I really liked her friend. | |
| [17:27] | Me, I liked her, too. | |
| [17:33] | -That was a ten-gallon Hefty sack? -Oh, yeah. | |
| [17:36] | -Yeah, a ten. Definitely a ten. -Yeah. Yeah. Nice. | |
| [17:40] | I like. | |
| [17:41] | I like… a ten. | |
| [17:45] | [Ron] And Lucille, at the behest of her court-mandated therapist, | |
| [17:49] | -was struggling to make sense of things. -Am I horrible for saying these things? | |
| [17:53] | No. But I was doing the math, and I still think | |
| [17:56] | you’re gonna have a problem with this final “raped murderer.” | |
| [18:00] | But who cares about him? | |
| [18:02] | Oh, this is pointless. | |
| [18:04] | How many more sessions do I have to endure | |
| [18:06] | until I’m done with… | |
| [18:08] | -no offense… you? -[chuckles] | |
| [18:10] | Legally, two. But I am in the family. | |
| [18:15] | I mean… this is my family. | |
| [18:20] | My daughter is divorcing you. This is it. | |
| [18:23] | I’m confused by the word “it.” | |
| [18:25] | Are you implying that you don’t want to see me anymore? | |
| [18:28] | I’m confused by the word “anymore.” | |
| [18:32] | There are many things I can do for this family. | |
| [18:34] | You’ve lost touch with your daughter. Put me in, for God sakes. | |
| [18:37] | -I thought this was my time. -It is your time. Yes, yes. | |
| [18:41] | But as your therapist, I’m pointing out that I know | |
| [18:43] | that you build these walls to keep out, for instance, | |
| [18:45] | your surviving children-in-law. | |
| [18:47] | Oh, don’t talk to me about walls. | |
| [18:50] | That’s why we’re in this mess. | |
| [18:52] | My husband buys land so we can get a contract | |
| [18:54] | to build a little something on the border. | |
| [18:56] | A-a wall. | |
| [18:58] | And we did everything right. | |
| [19:00] | [Ron] Well, not everything. | |
| [19:02] | They did buy land on the border… | |
| [19:04] | -You live here? -…to sell back to the government. | |
| [19:06] | -The check. -[Ron] And they paid off | |
| [19:08] | -a politician… -I am gonna put this on my wall. | |
| [19:10] | …to stir up xenophobia. | |
| [19:11] | We have got to build a wall between us and Mexico. | |
| [19:15] | -Yeah, yeah. -[Ron] Of course, they made | |
| [19:17] | -a few rookie mistakes. -I bribed Love to get the wall, | |
| [19:20] | and I don’t have the land to build it on! | |
| [19:23] | [Ron] Well, they had it. | |
| [19:24] | It was just on the wrong side of the border. | |
| [19:26] | Which they might have known had George’s brother Oscar | |
| [19:29] | -not burned the signs. -It’s okay to burn these? | |
| [19:31] | Well, this is America. They don’t want us to burn signs, | |
| [19:34] | they shouldn’t write ’em in Spanish. | |
| [19:36] | [Ron] And so, Lucille did what her own government might do. | |
| [19:38] | Who better than the Chinese to help us build a wall, right? | |
| [19:41] | -[Ron] She borrowed from the Chinese. -That’s good enough. | |
| [19:44] | -[crying] -[Ron] Of course, none of this | |
| [19:46] | -was okay with the woman… -How dare you?! | |
| [19:48] | -…who owned a majority stake… -Lucille… | |
| [19:50] | -…in the company. -…Two | |
| [19:51] | I can’t be running a company that’s building a wall | |
| [19:54] | I campaigned against! | |
| [19:55] | [Ron] And with their politician out of the race, | |
| [19:57] | their future looked bleak. | |
| [19:59] | So, unless some angel descends on a golden chariot, | |
| [20:02] | we’re completely over-leveraged. | |
| [20:04] | And maybe you don’t want to get hurt because, | |
| [20:08] | as I say, hurt people… hurt people. | |
| [20:13] | Oh, that’s nice. | |
| [20:15] | I always say, “Make people cry, make people cry.” | |
| [20:19] | But yours includes the people | |
| [20:21] | who don’t want to give you the satisfaction. [Ron] Tobias decided to err on the side | |
| [20:25] | of Lucille keeping him on as a therapist. | |
| [20:28] | You know what, let’s lock that in there. | |
| [20:30] | And I’d say we’ve made some real good progress today. | |
| [20:32] | Yes. [chuckles] I really think this is working. | |
| [20:37] | Swimming! | |
| [20:38] | Hurt people, hurt people. | |
| [20:41] | [Ron] Lindsay had also made it to Mexico, | |
| [20:44] | and was enjoying the fact that men were more respectful. | |
| [20:46] | [bartender] Puta Night is Thursday. | |
| [20:49] | -That’s so nice. No, I’m not. -[Ron] That was based on her belief | |
| [20:53] | -that “puta” meant “young.” -No. Puta. | |
| [20:55] | [whispers] I try to stay out of the sun. | |
| [20:58] | [Ron] And that’s when she saw what appeared to be | |
| [21:01] | -a Mexican version of her father. -[Lindsay] Oh, my God. | |
| [21:04] | Lindsay. What are you doing here? | |
| [21:06] | Guess I just had to get away. | |
| [21:08] | I was just ordering lunch. Can I buy you lunch? | |
| [21:10] | Oh, yeah. I’m so hungry, I could eat. | |
| [21:12] | [Ron] Lindsay’s daughter, meanwhile, | |
| [21:13] | discovered that her trip back home… | |
| [21:15] | -This is as far as we go. -…took a detour. | |
| [21:18] | [Maeby] Oh. | |
| [21:20] | -You live here? -No. | |
| [21:22] | These people have nothing. | |
| [21:23] | We are lucky. We have next to nothing. | |
| [21:26] | We are helping these people because nobody else will. | |
| [21:28] | They’ve been kicked out of the only country they’ve ever known | |
| [21:31] | because of the cruelty of your president… | |
| [21:33] | Barack Obama. | |
| [21:35] | Their old country is their mother, | |
| [21:37] | new country is their father. | |
| [21:38] | Imagine if your mother and your father did not want you. | |
| [21:41] | So, you’re trying to, like, teach them a lesson or…? | |
| [21:43] | We’re volunteers. | |
| [21:45] | Who did you think the water was for? | |
| [21:47] | Oh. [chuckles] I thought you were just trying to get me | |
| [21:50] | to give you a higher Uber rating. | |
| [21:54] | [Ron] And Maeby decided to stay and help. | |
| [22:00] | George Michael, meanwhile, settled into a different kind | |
| [22:03] | of “south of the border” lifestyle. | |
| [22:05] | [George Michael] Mexico. | |
| [22:07] | It’s like being in the Spanish dorms | |
| [22:08] | of the UCI sister campus in Spain all over again. | |
| [22:13] | [Ron] He was noticing subtle differences in the cuisine. | |
| [22:16] | God, the salt is different here. | |
| [22:17] | It’s fatter or something, right? | |
| [22:19] | -We’re from Orange County. -[Ron] He reached out to locals. | |
| [22:21] | Dude, I’m from San Diego. They want everyone to think we’re Mexican. | |
| [22:24] | -My name’s Noah. -[Ron] He met another Noah. | |
| [22:26] | -[George Michael] Noah, get over here. -[Ron] Noah met another Noah. | |
| [22:29] | -[laughs] What up, dawg? -[Ron] And soon five, | |
| [22:31] | I want to say, indistinguishable Americans | |
| [22:34] | -had Mexico on its heels. -You didn’t know this was Noah? | |
| [22:37] | -[Ron] They saw foreign films. -I’m glad someone had the guts | |
| [22:39] | to give the Minions their own movie. | |
| [22:41] | It’s great because it’s subtitled in Spanish, | |
| [22:43] | but we don’t have to read. It’s in English. | |
| [22:45] | If you don’t want to see ’em, you can block ’em. | |
| [22:48] | [Ron] Started trends. | |
| [22:53] | They discovered charming native communities… | |
| [22:57] | where local artisans peddled their wares. | |
| [23:02] | -[George Michael sighs] Mexico. -[Ron] Adopted customs | |
| [23:05] | like the midday break, or siesta. | |
| [23:08] | Yes! Who left the air conditioning on? | |
| [23:11] | -Oh, me. I never left. -[Ron] And while George Michael | |
| [23:13] | -was enjoying his status quo… -[George Michael] Why’d we go out? | |
| [23:15] | …Lucille was on the verge of an emotional breakthrough | |
| [23:19] | that could possibly change her life. | |
| [23:21] | …and our whole life is turned upside down. | |
| [23:23] | This is my time. Your session ended. | |
| [23:26] | -[Ron] That’s when she heard something… -[shushing] | |
| [23:28] | …that would definitely change her life. | |
| [23:29] | [reporter] …candidate descended the escalator into the lobby. | |
| [23:32] | I will build a great, great wall on our southern border. | |
| [23:36] | -[crowd cheering] -Which was my idea! | |
| [23:39] | And I will have Mexico pay for that wall. | |
| [23:42] | -[applause] -Okay. | |
| [23:45] | That is a clever twist. | |
| [23:50] | [Ron] Michael had been at Search for a month. | |
| [23:52] | In that time, he’d developed himself physically… | |
| [23:55] | And then lunge. Duck, sweep the leg, lunge. | |
| [23:57] | …been given a new company car. | |
| [23:59] | Ted, I think you see your daughter coming. | |
| [24:01] | You’re not expecting this, but she’s coming in hot | |
| [24:03] | -with a right… -[Ron] He’d gotten to teach a class | |
| [24:06] | he’d successfully persuaded management to try out. | |
| [24:09] | Mona, I know your husband’s down, he probably needs medical attention, | |
| [24:12] | but you got another son on your flank. | |
| [24:14] | And, everybody, we’re going to duck, sweep the leg, and lunge. | |
| [24:17] | And he comes back again. And we sweep the leg and lunge. | |
| [24:20] | That’s great. Everybody put down your cactus. | |
| [24:22] | Let’s all huddle up. Okay, now that you’re loose, | |
| [24:24] | we’re gonna do some Mom Attacks Son, | |
| [24:26] | we’re gonna do Dad Attacks Daughter, | |
| [24:28] | and then we’re gonna do Dad Attacks Mom… | |
| [24:30] | [Ron] But he still felt something was missing from his life | |
| [24:32] | -when he found a way to satisfy a dream. -[Michael] Wow, satisfy an old dream. Boy, do you really have to spend 1,000 bucks on the gear, though? | |
| [24:39] | -Not if you have your own. -Mm. | |
| [24:41] | Yeah. Yeah, well, not here, | |
| [24:43] | but I could drive home and get it. | |
| [24:46] | Course, I could see my family. | |
| [24:47] | [Ron] A family Michael hadn’t seen in some time. | |
| [24:50] | So he decided… | |
| [24:52] | Ah, what the heck. For 1,000 bucks, it’s worth the risk, huh? | |
| [24:58] | [Ron] Michael returned to a model home he left in some disgrace. | |
| [25:02] | And he wasn’t particularly proud of what he did next. | |
| [25:05] | [in Spanish accent] Hola. Window cleaner! | |
| [25:12] | [Buster] I shall be neither seen nor heard. | |
| [25:14] | -[Tobias] I blue myself. -[Lindsay] It’s vodka. | |
| [25:16] | It goes bad once it’s opened. | |
| [25:18] | [G.O.B.] I heard the jury’s still out on science. | |
| [25:20] | -[Ron] It was an emotional moment. -[Michael] Window cleaner! | |
| [25:24] | [Ron] Until right at the end there. | |
| [25:27] | And that’s when he found a letter from Lucille 2. | |
| [25:40] | [in normal voice] She forgave the debt. | |
| [25:43] | [Ron] And feeling bad that he’d been forgiven by someone | |
| [25:46] | he wanted to forget, he decided to thank her in person. | |
| [25:54] | But, tired of hiding, he decided | |
| [25:56] | -to say hello to his own family. -Hello? | |
| [26:01] | [G.O.B.] Speech! Speech! | |
| [26:02] | [Lucille] You’re my third least favorite child. | |
| [26:04] | [Buster] …like a Motherboy Ball. | |
| [26:06] | [Ron] And when they weren’t home, he found himself missing them. | |
| [26:09] | [George Michael] I should ask if she wants to get pre-pre-engaged. | |
| [26:13] | -Lucille 2? -[Lucille] I want that pie covered. | |
| [26:16] | -And not with your face. -Hello? | |
| [26:18] | -[squeals] Told you he’d come! -[George Sr.] Hey! | |
| [26:21] | -It’s on, it’s on, it’s on. -[excited chatter] | |
| [26:24] | -Look at him fighting me! -G.O.B.! | |
| [26:25] | -I haven’t seen you in a year! -It’s been two months. Get your hands off. | |
| [26:28] | Oh, yeah? What’s the last thing you remember us doing? | |
| [26:31] | -What do you remember? -What? No. | |
| [26:33] | [thud] | |
| [26:36] | -[George Sr.] Enough! -[Ron] Michael Bluth -gets up. -A lot of hands down there. | |
| [26:40] | -They weren’t my hands. -[chuckles] Oh. Okay. | |
| [26:42] | Harmless bathhousing amongst brothers, yes? | |
| [26:45] | -[chuckles] -[Ron] And George Michael dips his toe | |
| [26:47] | -into the Mexican nightlife. -Guys, it’s 9:00. | |
| [26:50] | Gives us 30 minutes till they shut down that last machine at Pinkberry. |