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美式主妇(American Housewife)第5季第8集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 美式主妇(American Housewife)第5季第8集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:01] Notice anything different? 注意到什么不同了吗
[00:03] Well, someone unplugged my cellphone 有人拔了我的手机
[00:07] so they could charge theirs. 来给他们自己充电
[00:08] And someone used my students’ test papers 还有人用我学生们的考试卷
[00:11] as their coffee coaster, 做咖啡杯垫
[00:12] so, no, everything seems about the same. 所以没有 一切照常
[00:16] The house is empty, Greg! 房子空了 格雷格
[00:17] The kids are gone. 孩子们都不在
[00:19] You spared the dog, though, right? 你至少放过了狗吧
[00:20] Oh, please. If I would’ve snapped, you’d be the first to go. 拜托 如果我真的大开杀戒 你肯定是第一个
[00:22] Anna-Kat’s on her Wildflower Girls retreat, 安娜凯特去了野花女孩训练营
[00:24] Oliver and Cooper are in their basement apartment, 奥利弗和库珀在他们的地下室公寓里
[00:28] and Taylor is at Trip’s while his parents are away. 泰勒趁特里普父母不在 找他去了
[00:30] I still can’t believe you let her do that. 我还是不敢相信你让她去了
[00:31] Taylor and I had a civilized conversation, 我和泰勒进行了礼貌的交谈
[00:34] and I decided that it was fine for her to stay at Trip’s. 我认为让她去特里普那里住没什么关系
[00:37] I’ll do what I want when I want! 我想做什么就做什么
[00:39] I’m an adult now, and I’m staying at Trip’s! 我现在成年了 我要去特里普那儿住
[00:41] I am still your mother! 我还是你妈
[00:42] I have an opinion, and you’re gonna hear it! 我有意见 你就得听着
[00:44] I don’t need your opinion! 我不需要你的意见
[00:44] Well, then don’t come crying to me 那等你得了尿路感染
[00:46] when you get a raging UTI! 可别哭着来找我
[00:48] Actually, do, because it could 实际上 还是找我来吧
[00:49] turn into a kidney infection! 因为那有可能变成肾脏感染
[00:53] It’s so quiet in here. 这里太安静了
[00:54] I can hear a raccoon in the attic. 我甚至能听到阁楼里的浣熊
[00:56] I love you and your Southern expressions. 我爱你和你南部的夸张表达手法
[00:58] It’s not an expression. 这不是表达手法
[01:00] Last night, I could literally hear the raccoon that’s been living in our attic. 昨晚 我真的听到了一直住在我们阁楼里的浣熊
[01:03] Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it. 别担心 我来解决
[01:04] That’s my man. 真不愧是我的男人
[01:05] By calling animal control. 我会给动物管理局打电话
[01:07] That’s my man. 这才是我的男人
[01:10] You know, this is a preview of how it’s going to be 现在就是未来的预告片
[01:12] when the kids are really out of the house. 以后孩子们真的不在家了就是这样
[01:14] We’re free! 我们自由了
[01:16] I can finally have a cold one 我终于可以喝口凉的
[01:17] and watch the game in peace. 平静地看场比赛
[01:18] You’re going to do sports and beer? 你要喝啤酒看体育了吗
[01:20] No. 不
[01:21] Gazpacho and “Jeopardy!” 西班牙冻汤和《危险边缘》
[01:22] How’d you get beer and sports out of that? 你怎么想到的”喝啤酒看体育”呢
[01:27] Beer and sports? 喝啤酒看体育
[01:28] I know. I’m an idiot. 我知道 我真蠢
[01:37] I am so glad that I have the house to myself for a while. 我能独享整个房子 简直太开心了
[01:40] Oh, I’m so jealous. 我太嫉妒了
[01:41] What I wouldn’t give to kick back with some wine 我愿意放弃一切 只要能让我喝着红酒
[01:43] and watch a “Real Housewives of New York” Marathon. 不停地看《纽约主妇》
[01:46] No way. I don’t watch that anymore 不是吧 自从多琳达变得总是欺负人
[01:47] since Dorinda turned into such a bully. 我就不再看了
[01:50] Oh, I know. I hate her. 我懂 我太讨厌她了
[01:51] How can you hate Dorinda? 你怎么能讨厌多琳达呢
[01:52] She had such a tough year. 她这一年多不容易啊
[01:54] She broke up with John, her manor house flooded, 她和约翰分手了 她的庄园被水淹了
[01:56] and then she broke a rib! 她的肋骨还断了
[01:59] I’m just kidding. I hate her, too. 我开玩笑的 我也讨厌她
[02:01] Sorry for eavesdropping. 抱歉我偷听你们讲话
[02:02] I know it’s rude, 我知道很没礼貌
[02:03] but you’re the only two worth listening to. 但你们俩的对话是唯一值得听一听的
[02:05] That one’s talking about green juice, 那个人在谈论青汁
[02:07] this one over here just bought one of those spin bikes, 这边这个刚买了辆那种动感单车
[02:09] and that one is suing her plastic surgeon. 而那个在起诉她的整形医生
[02:12] I didn’t actually overhear her. 其实我没听见她说了什么
[02:13] I’m just — I’m just guessing. 我只是猜测
[02:15] I’ve never seen you in here before. 我之前从没在这里见过你
[02:17] Oh, I just moved here after my husband and I got divorced. 我和老公离婚之后刚搬过来
[02:19] Nobody’s fault, we just had different interests. 我们都没错 只不过兴趣不同
[02:21] I liked dogs, 我喜欢狗狗
[02:22] and he liked to tell his parents 他喜欢跟他父母说
[02:24] I was his roommate of five years. 我跟他做了五年室友
[02:27] I’m J.D. 我叫J.D.
[02:28] I’m Katie. This is my friend Tami. 我是凯蒂 这是我朋友塔米
[02:30] Why don’t you join us? 你过来加入我们吧
[02:31] I guarantee we will not be talking about green juices 我保证我们不会谈论青汁
[02:33] or overpriced spin bikes. 或贵贵的动感单车
[02:35] Okay, sure. 好极了
[02:36] I just bought one of those bikes. 我刚买了辆那种单车
[02:38] Of course you did. 你当然买了
[02:40] Why in the world would you move to Westport? 你怎么会搬来西港呢
[02:43] I’m a manager at the Four Seasons that just opened up near here, 我是附近新开业的四季酒店的经理
[02:46] so if you’re looking for pool cabanas, 所以如果你想要泳池更衣室
[02:49] complimentary cocktails, 免费赠送的鸡尾酒
[02:50] and all the mini sewing kits you want, I’m your guy. 以及各种迷你针线包 找我就对了
[02:53] I don’t believe in love at first sight 我不相信一见钟情
[02:55] because my husband just kind of kept asking me out 因为我老公一直想约我
[02:57] and wore me down, but I love you. 让我心烦 但我爱你
[02:59] Seriously, if you want to fly us to one of those Four Seasons 说真的 如果你愿意让我们飞去某一家四季酒店
[03:01] and never come back, I’m ready. 并且永远不回来 我准备好了
[03:03] I’ve got everything I need in my purse. 我包里有我需要的一切东西
[03:06] Can’t believe we get to spend the week together. 不敢相信我们能在一起过一周
[03:08] Nine whole days. 整整九天啊
[03:11] It’s so quiet at your house. 你家里真安静
[03:13] My sweater’s been on the floor all day 我的毛衣在地上躺了一天了
[03:15] and my mom isn’t screaming, 而我妈没有在大喊
[03:16] “Pick that up! What do I look like, your maid? “捡起来 你以为我是你的女仆吗
[03:18] Do I have to do everything around here? 这儿什么都等着我做呢吗
[03:20] Greg!” 格雷格”
[03:22] Lunch. 午饭
[03:26] Your Hot Pocket, my lady. 你的”热口袋” 女士
[03:28] Thank you, my dude. 谢谢你 先生
[03:32] Wonder why they call it a pocket. 为什么叫它”口袋”呢
[03:33] A pocket has a hole on one end, 口袋应该在一边有洞
[03:35] and these are all closed. 但它们两边都封住了
[03:36] It’s more like a sealed envelope. 更像是密封的信封
[03:37] Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. 是啊 这更说得通
[03:40] And “Hot Envelope” rolls off the tongue much better anyway. 而且”热信封”说起来也更顺口
[03:42] So why call it a pocket? 所以为什么叫它口袋呢
[03:44] Makes you think, right? 让你思考
[03:45] It really does. 确实是
[03:47] See, that’s why we work so well, babe. 看 所以我们才这么合拍 宝贝
[03:49] We challenge each other. 我们互相挑战
[03:54] Did the Eucalyptus Foot Scrub of the Week come? 本周的尤加利足部磨砂来了吗
[03:56] Oh, since I’m trying to learn how to be “Otto poor,” 自从我试图学着成为”贫穷奥图”
[03:58] I canceled all of my “Of the Week” Delivery clubs. 我就取消了所有”本周”系列的派送俱乐部
[04:01] My Gucci Loafers of the Week, 我的本周古驰乐福鞋
[04:03] my Seafood Tower of the Week, 我的本周海鲜塔
[04:04] and the Foot Scrub of the Week. 以及本周足部磨砂
[04:05] Damn, I’m gonna miss our soft, uncalloused feet. 该死的 我会想念我们柔软无茧的双脚的
[04:08] The only good news is, 唯一的好消息是
[04:09] my special French hair pomade is on its way. 我特别的法国发膜在来的路上了
[04:11] It made it under the wire 它在我取消信用卡前
[04:12] before I canceled my credit cards. 抓住了最后的机会
[04:14] At least I’ll have one thing that’ll make me feel normal. 至少我还会有一件让我觉得是正常人的东西
[04:18] I know what will cheer you up. 我知道什么能让你振作起来
[04:22] All right. Here we go. 好了 我们来吧
[04:24] Let’s eat the last of your Caviar of the Week shipment. 我们来吃掉你最后一罐本周派送系列的鱼子酱
[04:28] This is Royal Ossetra. 这是皇家白鲟
[04:31] A proper caviar spoon is mother of pearl. 恰当的鱼子酱勺应该是由珠母贝做的
[04:34] My dad would’ve sent me back 犯了这样的错误
[04:35] to finishing school for a mistake like this. 我爸该把我送回精修学校了
[04:38] Man. 老天
[04:39] My dad hasn’t taught me anything 我爸没教过我任何
[04:40] about the finer things in life. 人生中更好的东西
[04:41] To think I was gonna leave this house 想到我将离开这里
[04:43] without so much as a cursory spoon education. 而我除了粗鄙的勺子教育外什么也不知道
[04:46] Ridiculous. 太可笑了
[04:49] Grace! 格蕾丝
[04:49] We do not jump on the couch. 我们不能在沙发上跳
[04:51] Sure feels like I do. 感觉我跳着挺好
[04:53] Grace! 格蕾丝
[04:57] Look at J.D.’s Instagram. 看J.D.的INS
[04:59] His home is straight out of those fancy magazines I read at the checkout line, 他家和我在结账前看的那些精致的杂志上一样
[05:03] then leave in the candy rack when it’s time to pay. 走到糖果区该付钱时 我就会把杂志放下
[05:05] You know, it would be good to have a young person in our lives. 我们的生活里多个年轻人会很不错
[05:08] Shoot, I thought TikTok 该死 我还以为抖音
[05:09] was just a breath mint taking over the nation. 只是接管整个国家的薄荷糖
[05:10] And it’ll be good to have a friend that keeps us 而且有个朋友让我们不用一直谈论孩子
[05:12] from constantly talking about kids and being a mom. 以及作为母亲的事 挺不错的
[05:15] I need some masculine energy in my life. 我的生活需要一点阳刚之气
[05:18] Something to spice it up, 一点调味料
[05:19] someone adventurous, a risk taker. 一位爱冒险的人
[05:23] Grace, the pages stay in the books. 格蕾丝 书页要留在书上
[05:26] Maybe we should ask him 也许我们该邀请他
[05:27] to have Second Breakfast with us tomorrow. 明天和我们共进第二顿早餐
[05:29] Well, he gave us his card. 他把名片给我们了
[05:31] Should we call him? 我们该打给他吗
[05:33] Do you think he’ll say yes? 你觉得他会答应吗
[05:34] Of course. We’re awesome. 当然 我们这么棒
[05:38] Let’s be cool. 我们淡定点
[05:39] I’m always cool. 我一直很淡定
[05:41] Hello? 喂
[05:41] Hi, J.D.! 你好 J.D.
[05:43] It’s Katie. 我是凯蒂
[05:43] And your girl, T-bone. 以及你的女孩 丁骨
[05:45] – What are you doing? – When I’m nervous, I push. -你在干什么 -我紧张时就会施加压力
[05:47] We were just wondering 我们只是在想
[05:49] if you would like to join us for Second Breakfast tomorrow. 你明天是否愿意和我们一起吃第二顿早餐
[05:53] You know, no big thang. 你懂的 无所谓
[05:55] I’d love to. See you guys tomorrow at 9:00. Bye! 我很愿意 明天9点见 拜拜
[05:58] He said yes! 他答应了
[06:01] Oh, my God! 天啊
[06:02] What are you two gonna wear tomorrow? 你们俩明天要穿什么啊
[06:04] Oh, I don’t know. I mean, probably my… 我不知道 也许我…
[06:07] She’s making fun of us, isn’t she? 她在取笑我们俩 是吗
[06:09] That child hasn’t said anything with sincerity 那孩子生下来
[06:11] since she was in Pull-Ups. 就没说过什么真诚的话了
[06:16] I know we just met, but I feel like we’re family. 我知道我们刚认识 但感觉就像家人一样
[06:18] Definitely, but like the family members you want to hang out with. 是的 但像那种你想和她们一起玩的家人
[06:21] Not the siblings you see on holidays 而不是节日相见的兄弟姐妹
[06:23] that remind you you’re the one 他们让你意识到
[06:24] that’s gonna be taking care of Mom. 以后会是你来照顾妈妈
[06:27] So, what is it like working at a fancy resort? 在这种高档度假村工作是什么样的
[06:30] Can you just travel anywhere you want 你能免费在全世界
[06:31] – in the world for free? – Sure can. -想去哪儿去哪儿吗 -当然
[06:33] Oh, how would you guys like to tag along with me to Costa Rica? 你们俩想和我一起去哥斯达黎加吗
[06:37] – When? – Any time you want. -什么时候 -你想什么时候去都行
[06:38] How’s 3:00 today? Too soon? 5:00? 今天3点怎么样 太快了吗 那5点呢
[06:41] I need a minute. 我需要缓缓
[06:42] I’m having a feeling I’m not familiar with. 现在这种感觉我不太熟悉
[06:43] I think it’s joy. 我猜这是快乐
[06:44] Hey, guys, I wanted to tell you something kind of personal, 我想跟你们说一件有点私人的事情
[06:47] and since you’ve already eaten 既然我盘子里的三个比利时华夫饼
[06:49] two of the three Belgian waffles off my plate, 已经被你们吃了两个了
[06:51] here it goes. 我要告诉你们了
[06:53] I’ve been thinking of having a baby. 我在考虑要一个孩子
[06:56] A baby? 孩子
[06:59] That is a big decision. 那可是个重大的决定啊
[07:03] How are you going to be able to go to Costa Rica any time you want? 那你还怎么随时去哥斯达黎加啊
[07:05] Oh, I’m not worried. 我不担心这个
[07:07] I’ll figure something out. 我会想到办法的
[07:08] You’re the first people I’ve told. 你们是第一批知道的人
[07:10] We have to celebrate. Where’s the waiter? 我们得庆祝一下 服务员呢
[07:12] Let’s get some Aperol Spritzes, huh? 我们喝点阿佩罗鸡尾酒吧
[07:14] You know what, they’ll never make ’em right. 他们根本调不好
[07:15] I’ll just go and make ’em myself. 我还是自己去调吧
[07:19] This is like watching teenagers in a shark movie 这就像在看鲨鱼电影里的少年们
[07:21] heading into the ocean on an inflatable raft. 乘着一个充气筏冲向大海
[07:23] And doing it on his own? 他要自己养孩子吗
[07:25] – He clearly hasn’t thought this through. – Yeah. -很明显他根本没考虑清楚 -是的
[07:26] We owe it to him to help 我们欠他一个人情
[07:28] since he’s taking us to Costa Rica. 因为他要带我们去哥斯达黎加
[07:30] Well, yes, it’s a little about Costa Rica, 去哥斯达黎加只占一小部分原因
[07:31] but we’re helping mainly because we are good people. 我们帮他主要因为我们是好人
[07:34] Yeah, good people who deserve to go to Costa Rica. 是的 好人值得去哥斯达黎加
[07:36] He needs to know how hard it is to be a parent. 得让他明白为人父母有多难
[07:40] Give him Grace for an afternoon. 让他照看格蕾丝一下午
[07:42] She’s gonna scare anybody out of having kids. 她能把任何想要孩子的人吓跑
[07:44] Hell, I’ll give him Grace forever. 我可以让他永远照看格蕾丝
[07:45] Solve two people’s problems. 这样两个人的问题就都解决了
[07:48] Study hard. 努力学习
[07:49] This will be on the exam next week. 这个下周会考
[07:53] Uh, Andre? 安德鲁
[07:55] I have a question. But, I mean, I can just — 我有个问题 但是我可以…
[07:57] – just come back another time. – Oh, no, no, no. -在别的时间问 -不不不
[07:58] I always have time for you. 是你的话 我什么时候都有空
[08:00] Um, I’m having a hard time 我有点不能理解
[08:01] understanding the concept of Plato’s Cave. 柏拉图洞穴寓言的概念
[08:04] Well, you see, it’s not a real cave. 它指的不是真正意义上的洞穴
[08:06] It’s a metaphor to explore 它是一种比喻
[08:07] if we know what we’re actually experiencing is real. 探讨我们是否认为现在体验到的事就是真实的
[08:10] Let me ask you something. 我来问你一个问题
[08:11] Um, how do you know that you’re not dreaming right now? 你怎么知道你现在不是在做梦
[08:14] Because if I were dreaming, 因为如果我在做梦
[08:15] I’d be in a Starbucks. 我就会在星巴克了
[08:16] – You ever been? – Uh, yeah. -你去过吗 -去过
[08:18] I’ve, uh, been there a latte. 我去喝过几次拿铁[“latte”和”little”音近]
[08:21] That was so dumb. 这个谐音梗太蠢了
[08:23] Not as dumb as me 没有我蠢
[08:23] asking if you’ve been to the world’s largest coffee chain. 竟然问你去没去过全世界最大的咖啡连锁店
[08:26] You know, I hate to admit it, 我虽然不愿承认
[08:27] but ever since I lived in Europe, 但自从我在欧洲生活过
[08:28] I’ve been a bit of a coffee snob. 我就对咖啡有点挑剔
[08:31] You lived in Europe? That’s so cool. 你在欧洲生活过吗 太酷了
[08:33] Oh, yeah. 是啊
[08:34] Um, I’ve lived in a bunch of places — 我在很多地方都生活过
[08:36] Cambodia, Paris, 柬埔寨 巴黎
[08:37] and a brief stint at Tomorrowland at Disney World. 还在迪士尼的明日世界待过一段时间
[08:40] Sully from “Monsters, Inc.” 扮过《怪兽电力公司》的萨利
[08:41] Were you good at scaring? 你很擅长吓人吗
[08:45] – That was so good. – What can I say? -做得很好啊 -没办法
[08:48] I haven’t done that much traveling 我没怎么旅游过
[08:49] except on laptop screensavers. 除了看我笔记本电脑上的屏保图
[08:51] Well, you know, there’s a whole big world out there, 你知道 这个世界很大
[08:53] and I guess I just want to experience it. 我只是想去多体验一下
[08:54] – Don’t you? – Yeah. -你不想吗 -想
[08:56] I guess I just never thought about it. 我只是从来都没这么想过
[08:58] I’m surprised. 我有点惊讶
[08:59] I mean, you’re so curious and outgoing. 你那么有好奇心又那么开朗
[09:02] – I am? – I think so. -我有吗 -我觉得有
[09:03] I mean, you strike me as someone 在我的印象中
[09:05] who’s gonna get out there and explore the world. 你是那种会出去探索世界的人
[09:07] Who knows? Maybe I will. 谁知道呢 也许我会的
[09:09] I’ve always wanted to try Coffee Bean. 我一直想去试试香啡缤咖啡店
[09:11] Well, do it now before it gets ruined by tourists. 趁还没被游客毁掉之前赶快去
[09:18] So, the raccoon crawls in there, 浣熊爬到里面
[09:20] and then it snaps shut, 然后笼子就会马上关上
[09:21] and your mom will know what kind of man she married. 你妈就知道她嫁的是什么样的男人了
[09:24] Thanks for the trapping tips. 谢谢你的抓捕技巧
[09:26] This will come in handy 这个技巧
[09:27] when I’m trying to find a Merlot to pair with a steak. 在我想找梅洛红酒配牛排时能用上
[09:29] It’s these father-son chats 这些父子之间的谈话
[09:30] that makes our connection so strong. 让我们的关系更牢固了
[09:35] Hey, good news. 好消息
[09:36] My pomade made it from Provence to Westport. 我的发膜从普罗旺斯运到韦斯特波特了
[09:39] The only problem is, 唯一的问题是
[09:40] they delivered it to my old address, 他们会送到我的旧地址
[09:41] but since I don’t have my chauffeur anymore 但我已经没有司机了
[09:43] on account of me trying to be like peasant folk, 因为我想做个穷人
[09:45] I need you to go get it for me. 需要你帮我取回来
[09:47] I’m not your servant, dude. 我不是你的仆人
[09:48] Just take my bike and get it yourself. 骑我的自行车自己取
[09:49] I am not riding that old bike. 我不要骑那辆旧自行车
[09:52] Look, part of being in this family 听着 作为这个家里的一员
[09:54] is having to ride an old bike. 就得骑旧自行车
[09:55] Everything we have is old. 我们家所有的东西都是旧的
[09:58] Our clothes, 我们的衣服
[09:59] we take expired medicine, 我们吃过期的药
[10:01] and my dad calls inspecting sidewalk furniture 我爸爸把检查路边的家具称为
[10:03] “Panning for gold.” “淘金”
[10:05] You know what, uh, forget it. 还是算了吧
[10:07] I’ll figure something else out. 我再想别的办法
[10:09] Suit yourself. 随便你
[10:10] Oh, here’s another one. 还有一件事
[10:11] My mom puts stale potato chips in the oven 我妈会把烤箱回炉过的不新鲜的薯条
[10:14] to freshen them up. 当成是新做的
[10:21] Let me guess — 我猜猜
[10:22] you’re the ghost of all sports you’ve never played. 你扮的是所有你没玩过的运动化成的鬼
[10:24] No, I’m gonna get that raccoon out of the attic myself. 不是 我要亲手把阁楼上的浣熊抓到
[10:27] What is with you? Just call animal control. 你这是怎么了 给动物管理局打电话就好了
[10:30] I don’t need to call them. 我不需要给他们打电话
[10:31] I got this. 我能行
[10:32] I’m a man. I drink whiskey. 我是个男人 我喝威士忌
[10:34] You drink half a teaspoon when you have a cold. 你在感冒的时候喝半茶匙
[10:36] Still counts! 那也算
[10:41] Ooh, thanks for helping me sample 谢谢你们帮我试吃
[10:43] the hotel’s new luxury picnic basket. 酒店新推出的奢华野餐篮
[10:45] I don’t recognize any of these foods, 这些食物我一个也不认识
[10:46] so I know it’s gonna be good. 所以我知道肯定很不错
[10:48] What else do we have? 这里有什么
[10:49] Oh, chocolate-covered blueberries. 蓝莓夹心巧克力
[10:52] Paté. 肉酱
[10:54] A mozzarella ball? 马苏里拉芝士球
[10:56] Oh, that cheese is so good, 那款芝士太好吃了
[10:57] I’m gonna save it for myself. 我要自己留着
[10:59] I’m kidding, 我开玩笑的
[10:59] but I’ll just put it over here. 但我要把它先放在这
[11:02] He’s trying to eat my jelly doughnut! 它要吃我的果酱甜甜圈
[11:05] Oh, who do we have here? 她是谁啊
[11:06] That’s my daughter Grace. 那是我的女儿格蕾丝
[11:07] Hi, Grace. 你好 格蕾丝
[11:09] I’m so sorry. 真对不起
[11:10] I couldn’t find a sitter. 我找不到人帮我看小孩
[11:11] But don’t worry, she’ll just sit here quietly. 但不用担心 她会安静坐在这的
[11:13] Cool. 好的
[11:14] Or she’ll just do that. 或者像现在这样喊
[11:16] Oh, no, I think that’s great. 不 我认为这样很好
[11:18] This is my future, 这就是我的未来
[11:19] so I’d better get used to it. 所以我最好先习惯一下
[11:22] Hey. 你好
[11:23] Hi, cutie. 小可爱
[11:24] You look like you could use a napkin. 看起来你需要一张纸巾
[11:30] Guess that works, too. 这样也行
[11:32] Grace! 格蕾丝
[11:33] Ugh, kids. 熊孩子啊
[11:34] I’m so sorry. 真对不起
[11:35] They ruin all your clothes. 他们会毁掉你所有的衣服
[11:37] I had to wear sweatpants to a wedding last month. 我上个月去参加婚礼只能穿运动裤
[11:40] Luthor, fetch! 卢瑟 接住
[11:42] Ah, look at your adorable daughter 看看你可爱的女儿
[11:44] giving the dog a super, super expensive snack. 给狗喂了一个超级超级贵的零食
[11:48] Ugh, that is the problem with kids. 养孩子就是会有这种问题
[11:51] You can’t have nice things. 你根本不能有好东西
[11:53] The only cheese that I have 我家里的芝士
[11:54] has “Whiz” Or “Its” At the end. 不是芝士酱就是芝士饼干
[11:56] Maybe we should do this another time at my place. 或许我们应该另找个时间在我家试吃
[11:58] We could sit in the backyard by the koi pond. 我们可以坐在后院的锦鲤池旁
[12:01] Oh, you’re gonna have to drain that. 你得把池子里的水抽干
[12:02] What, why? 什么 为什么
[12:03] Childproofing. 儿童安全措施
[12:04] Same reason why you fence your pool, 你还要给泳池装围栏
[12:06] cover your fire pit, gate your stairs, 盖上火炉 给楼梯装安全门栏
[12:07] and pee in the bathtub 在浴缸里小便
[12:08] because you can’t figure out how to unlock the toilet seat. 因为你不知道怎么给马桶盖解锁
[12:11] But kids are great. 但小孩很棒
[12:12] I mean, besides having to change your entire backyard 除了不得不改变你的整个后院
[12:15] and also your whole life… 和全部生活…
[12:17] they’re totally worth it. 他们完全值得你这么做
[12:18] Okay, ladies, I — 好了 女士们
[12:19] I think I’m realizing something. 我好像明白了
[12:22] You two are trying to scare me out of having kids 你们两个教格蕾丝吓我
[12:25] by coaching Grace to terrorize me. 这样我就不敢要小孩了
[12:26] Oh, I didn’t coach her. 我可没教她
[12:28] She’s a misbehaving prodigy, 她是个调皮捣蛋的天才
[12:29] like the Mozart of raising my blood pressure. 在让我血压升高方面 她是莫扎特级别的
[12:32] We felt like we wouldn’t be good friends to you 我们觉得如果不让你看看
[12:34] if we didn’t show you what a life-changing decision it is 要孩子会给你的人生带来多大的转变
[12:37] to have a child. 我们就不算是你的好朋友
[12:38] Well, I know it’s gonna change, and I’m fine with that. 我知道会有改变 但是我能接受
[12:41] I-I opened up to you, hoping you’d be supportive, 我对你们敞开心扉 希望得到你们的支持
[12:44] but I was wrong. 但我错了
[12:46] You guys are worse than Dorinda. 你们还不如多琳达
[12:49] You take that back. 你收回这句话
[12:51] I’m gonna go wait out front for my Uber. 我要去门口等优步司机
[12:54] See ya around. 再见
[12:58] I feel horrible. 我感觉很糟糕
[12:59] Me too. 我也是
[13:00] – We don’t deserve these chocolate covered blueberries. – No. -我们没资格拥有这些蓝莓夹心巧克力 -是的
[13:03] But we should eat them sadly 但我们应该悲痛地吃掉它们
[13:04] to remind us of our shame. 这样才能让我们感到羞愧
[13:07] And maybe a little bit of that shame paté. 也许再吃点羞愧肉酱
[13:15] We’re glad you’re still here. 我们很高兴你还在这
[13:16] We brought you what’s left of the mozzarella ball. 我们给你带了剩下的马苏里拉芝士球
[13:18] We rinsed it off with a hose. 我们用水管清洗干净了
[13:20] It still has to be worth like $85. 应该还能值85块
[13:26] We’re sorry that we weren’t being supportive. 对不起我们没支持你
[13:29] But honestly, we’re still worried 但说实话 我们还是担心
[13:31] that you don’t know what you’re getting into. 你不知道你接下来要面对的是什么
[13:32] We just want to make sure you’re thinking this through. 我们只是想确定你考虑好了
[13:35] Of course I am. 我当然考虑好了
[13:36] You never see a gay couple getting drunk one night 你绝不会看到一对同志伴侣某晚喝醉后
[13:38] and filling out 50 pounds of legal work 填好50磅重的法律文件
[13:40] and, oopsie, ending up with a child. 然后不小心有了个孩子
[13:43] You have to really want it, 肯定是真心想要才会这么做
[13:44] and I do. 我是真心想要的
[13:45] You think you want it, but — 你以为自己想要孩子 但是…
[13:48] Oh, and I’ve watched your mommy vlog. 对了 我看过你的妈咪视频博客
[13:51] For all your complaining about kids, 虽然你经常抱怨孩子们很烦
[13:52] you sure seem to enjoy them. 但你看起来还是很享受有孩子的
[13:54] Just because I complain about them 我抱怨他们烦
[13:55] doesn’t mean I don’t love them or miss them. 不代表我就不爱他们 或不想他们
[13:59] Oh, man. 老天
[14:01] I love and miss them. 我爱他们 也想念他们
[14:07] Who taught you how to shoot like that? 谁教你这样投篮的
[14:10] My dad. 我爸
[14:11] He was incredible. 他很了不起
[14:13] You know he never missed any of my basketball games? 我的篮球比赛他一场不落全去看了
[14:15] Even the away ones. 包括客场比赛
[14:16] He would skip work and follow the team bus 他会放下工作 跟着球队大巴
[14:19] to wherever I was going. 去我比赛的地方
[14:21] I always hoped I’d be a dad like him. 我一直希望我会成为他这样的父亲
[14:24] That was one of the hardest things about coming out. 本来出柜最艰难的就是这一点
[14:27] I thought I wouldn’t be able to have my own family. 我本以为我不会有自己的家庭了
[14:31] But things changed, 但情况不同了
[14:32] and now I get to have that chance. 现在我有这个机会
[14:38] We’re the worst. 我们真是大烂人
[14:41] We’re gonna do everything we can 我们会尽全力
[14:42] to help you get a baby. 帮你得到一个孩子
[14:44] That is, if you forgive us. 前提是 你原谅我们
[14:47] Of course, girls. 当然了 姐妹们
[14:49] Let’s hug it out. 一抱泯恩仇吧
[14:51] Yay! 太棒了
[14:52] I’ve always wanted to have a fabulous gay friend 我一直想有个帅帅的同志好友
[14:55] since the movie “My Best Friend’s Wedding.” 就从我看了电影《我最好朋友的婚礼》开始
[14:56] Oh, every time a straight woman I know watches that movie, 每次我认识的直女看了那部电影后
[14:58] they’re on me like avocado on toast. 就会像吐司上的牛油果一样巴着我不放
[15:03] Not in my friend’s house! 在我朋友家可不行
[15:08] All right, you’ve been reading for over an hour. 你读书读了一个多小时了
[15:10] I’m worried about you. 我很担心你
[15:12] I’m just studying for philosophy class. 我在看哲学课的书
[15:14] Plato says we’re all stuck inside this cave 柏拉图说我们都被困在一个山洞里
[15:17] looking at shadows on the wall, 看着墙上的影子
[15:18] and we think that’s the whole world, 以为那就是全世界
[15:19] but it’s not. 但其实不然
[15:20] It’s just interesting to think about. 想想还挺有意思的
[15:22] Yeah, I was up all night thinking about something, too. 我昨晚也一宿没睡 思考某个问题
[15:25] – And I’ve solved it. – Solved what? -并且我想通了 -想通了什么
[15:26] Just the biggest question of all. 人生最重要的问题
[15:28] Why do they call a Hot Pocket a pocket? 为什么要把热口袋牌冰冻三明治称为”口袋”
[15:32] And I finally get it now. 我现在终于想明白了
[15:34] When you bite into it, 当你一口咬下去时
[15:35] there’s a hole in the top, like a pocket. 三明治顶部就会有个洞 像个口袋一样
[15:39] You’re still thinking about that? 你还在想这个
[15:40] Yeah. Aren’t you? 是啊 你没想吗
[15:42] I don’t know. 我不知道
[15:43] I’ve been thinking more about you and me together. 我最近都在想我们的事
[15:45] Y-You know, we could go anywhere we want, 其实我们想去哪里都可以
[15:48] even another country. 包括另一个国家
[15:50] Wouldn’t that be so cool? 那会很酷 不是吗
[15:51] Why would I want to live anywhere other than Westport? 我为什么会想去西港以外的地方住
[15:53] My parents live here, my brothers. 我父母和兄弟都住在这里
[15:56] I know where all the best houses are for trick or treating. 我知道最适合玩”不给糖就捣蛋”的房子在哪儿
[15:58] What could be better than this? 还有什么能比这更好
[16:00] I don’t know, maybe living in Greece. 我也不知道 也许住在希腊[《油脂》]吧
[16:03] – The movie? – No, Greece, the place. -那部电影《油脂》吗 -不 希腊 那个地方
[16:06] No, babe, “Grease” Is the word. 不 宝贝 《油脂》是个词 不是地方
[16:15] Dude. 哥们
[16:16] Where is your body? 你的肉身呢
[16:17] Where’s your shine? 你的精气神呢
[16:18] Pull it together, man. 振作一点
[16:20] Just take my bike and go get your pomade. 骑我的车去拿你的发膜吧
[16:22] I said I’m not riding it, and that’s it. 我说了我不会骑的 不用说了
[16:23] Oh, what, you think you’re too good for me? 难道你觉得你比我高贵
[16:25] – No, I don’t. – Yeah, you do. -没有 -你就有
[16:27] What other reason is there? 不然还有什么理由
[16:28] You’re too good for our spoons, you’re too — 你不屑用我们的勺子 你也不…
[16:29] I don’t know how! Okay? 我不会 行了吧
[16:32] I don’t know how to ride a bike. 我不会骑单车
[16:34] What? 什么
[16:36] How is that possible? 怎么可能呢
[16:36] Because at my house, if you wanted to go somewhere, 因为在我家 如果想去哪里
[16:40] there was always an employee to drive you, fly you, 都会有员工开车 开飞机
[16:43] sail you on a yacht, 开游艇
[16:44] or take you in a Ducati sidecar. 或开杜卡迪摩托送你去
[16:46] That sounds pretty baller to me. 我觉得那听起来很酷
[16:47] But it’s not. 其实一点都不酷
[16:49] I would’ve loved for my father 我不知道多希望我爸
[16:50] to have taught me how to ride a bike, 教我骑单车
[16:51] but he never had the time. 但他就是没时间
[16:54] He never drove me to school. 他没开车送过我去学校
[16:56] He never helped me with my homework. 他没辅导过我做功课
[16:59] He was never there for anything. 他从没陪伴过在我身边
[17:01] It wasn’t until junior high that I realized 我直到初中才知道
[17:03] you weren’t supposed to pee sitting down. 男生不应该坐着尿尿
[17:06] Dude. 哥们
[17:11] If you want to learn how to ride a bike, 如果你想学骑车
[17:13] I know the perfect guy to teach you. 我认识最完美的老师
[17:15] Oh, my God, you know Lance Armstrong? 天呐 你认识兰斯·阿姆斯特朗吗[知名自行车运动员]
[17:18] Thanks. 谢了
[17:20] Hello? 喂
[17:21] Hi, Anna-Kat, it’s Mommy. 安娜凯特 我是妈妈呀
[17:22] Why are you calling me? 你打给我干嘛
[17:24] I’m just seeing if you’re missing me 我就想看看你有没有想我
[17:26] just as much as I’m missing you. 跟我想你一样多
[17:27] No one else’s mom is calling them. 其他人的妈妈都没打电话来
[17:30] It’s embarrassing! 这样好丢脸
[17:35] It’s on its hind legs! 它直立起来了
[17:37] That’s a killing pose! 这是准备扑杀的姿势
[17:39] I’m good. 我没事
[17:41] Oh, my God! Are you okay? 天呐 你还好吧
[17:43] Merely giving the raccoon a false sense of security. 不过是给那只浣熊虚假安全感而已
[17:46] Just call animal control! 直接打给动物管理局吧
[17:47] I got this. 我能搞定
[17:51] Mom, I need your opinion on something. 妈 有件事我想问你意见
[17:53] Oh, now you want my opinion? 现在你倒想问我意见了
[17:56] Forget it. 算了
[17:57] I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me. 对不起 求你别离开我
[18:00] I’m so confused. 我好困惑
[18:03] I had a conversation at college 我在大学讨论了
[18:04] about philosophy and Plato, and it was so cool, 哲学和柏拉图 我觉得很酷
[18:08] but when I tried to share it with Trip, 但当我试图和特里普分享时
[18:09] all he wanted to do was talk about 他却只想聊
[18:11] why Hot Pockets are called Hot Pockets. 热口袋牌冰冻三明治为什么叫这名字
[18:13] Yeah, why are they called pockets? 对啊 为什么要叫做”口袋”
[18:15] There’s no opening. 明明没有开口
[18:18] I was so sure I wanted a future with Trip, 我本来很确定我想和特里普拥有共同的未来
[18:20] and I think I still do. 我现在仍这么想
[18:22] It… 但是
[18:23] But there’s a whole world out there, 外面还有广阔的世界
[18:24] and I want to see it. 我想去见识
[18:26] Maybe even live in another country. 甚至是去另一个国家居住
[18:28] But I don’t see Trip doing that. 但我认为特里普不会那么做
[18:30] I love him so much, but… 我很爱他 但是
[18:34] Things change when you go to college. 你上了大学后 是会发生变化的
[18:37] And they should. 也理应如此
[18:38] – It means you’re growing. – It’s scary to grow. -这意味着你在成长 -成长很吓人
[18:40] And it’s scary to watch you grow, 看着你成长更吓人
[18:43] but we both have to do it. 但我们都必须直面它
[18:45] And as for who’s right for you, 至于谁是你的真命天子
[18:47] you’ll just know. 到时你自然会知道的
[18:48] Maybe it’s Trip, and maybe it’s not. 也许是特里普 也许不是
[18:51] And that’s okay. 那也没关系
[18:53] I found the most perfect guy. 我找到了最完美的另一半
[18:55] And you will, too. 你也会的
[19:01] No! 不
[19:02] We’re gonna stay in this hug until it’s time to bury me. 等我要入土了再松开这个拥抱吧
[19:07] I’m telling you, you’re in luck, dude. 我告诉你 你走运了
[19:10] We happen to have an expert 我们正好有位专家
[19:11] right here in front of you. 就在你眼前
[19:13] Let’s do this. 来吧
[19:16] Okay, don’t let go. 别放手
[19:17] I’m not letting go. 我不会放手的
[19:19] I’m not letting go. 我不会放手
[19:23] I let go. 我放手了
[19:25] I’m doing it. 我会骑了
[19:27] I’m doing it! 我会骑了
[19:31] Yeah! 好棒
[19:34] What was that for? 为什么亲我
[19:35] For being my perfect guy. 因为你是我最完美的另一半
[19:36] But I heard you tell Tami that you wanted someone 但我听见你跟塔米说 你想要一个
[19:38] with more masculine energy, someone to spice it up. 更有阳刚气的人来给生活加点调味料
[19:41] Oh, my God! 天呐
[19:42] I was talking about what’s missing in my friend group, 我是在说我的朋友圈子缺乏这种人
[19:45] not what’s missing in my marriage. 不是说我的婚姻缺乏这个
[19:47] In a partner, I want someone dependable, smart, 我想要的伴侣是可靠 聪明
[19:50] a little dorky. 有点傻气的人
[19:51] And I hit the jackpot. 我中大奖了
[19:53] Thanks, but that doesn’t sound very sexy. 谢了 但那听起来不是很性感
[19:54] Oh, please. 拜托
[19:55] You teaching Cooper how to ride a bike 你教库珀骑单车
[19:57] is way sexier than Ramone 可比雷蒙
[19:58] pulling up to my dorm on a motorcycle. 骑摩托车停在我宿舍门口帅多了
[20:00] Who’s Ramone? 雷蒙是谁
[20:01] Look at Cooper go! 瞧库珀骑得多好
[20:04] This is the most bueno day ever! 今天是我这辈子最快乐的一天
[20:07] I love my poor mom and dad! Yeah! 我好爱我的穷鬼爸妈 爽
[20:13] Hey, I, uh — I just want to thank you 我想谢谢你
[20:15] for taking the time to teach me how to ride a bike, 抽出时间教我骑单车
[20:17] so I brought you this. 所以我给你带了这个
[20:19] I’m gonna stop you right there. 你先打住
[20:20] Champagne makes me giggly. 我喝了香槟会傻笑
[20:22] You don’t drink the champagne. 香槟不是拿来喝的
[20:23] That’s so gauche. 那太粗鲁了
[20:24] I’m gonna teach you how to open up a champagne bottle with… 我要教你如何开香槟
[20:28] a saber. 用剑
[20:29] Are you sure it’s a good idea? 你确定这是个好主意吗
[20:30] Oh, yeah. Totally. 当然 绝对是
[20:33] You want to follow through like a golf swing. Like this. 你要像高尔夫挥杆一样一气呵成 像这样
[20:38] Oh, my God! 天呐
[20:39] That is so cool! 太酷了
[20:41] Oh, this would kill at our French Revolution meeting — 在我们法国大革命聚会上表演这招会秒杀全场
[20:44] and if you’re not careful, literally. 如果不小心 真的会杀死人
[20:45] Oh, it’s so easy. 很简单的
[20:46] I’ve been doing it since I was 8. 我8岁就学会了
[20:47] Our live-in sommelier taught me. 住在我们家的酒侍教我的
[20:49] – Here, I’ll show you. – Okay. -来 我示范给你看 -好
[20:51] Hold the saber. 握好剑
[20:52] Deep breaths, nice and easy. 深呼吸 很容易的
[20:54] Let’s relax, let’s relax. 放轻松 放轻松
[20:55] – Okay. – Ease the arm. -好 -手臂放松
[20:59] I’m a little scared. 我有点害怕
[20:59] Hey, you don’t have to be. 不用怕
[21:01] I got you. I got you. 有我在 有我在
[21:02] Okay. 好了
[21:04] Angle it, and follow the seam. 对好角度 沿着缝挥刀
[21:08] – I did it! – Yeah! -我成功了 -好棒
美式主妇

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