| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | As soon as you guys are done, the kitchen is mine. | 你们赶快弄完 厨房就是我的了 |
| [00:03] | I have to have eight lasagnas by 2:00 p.M. | 下午两点前我得做好八份千层面 |
| [00:06] | Where are my oven mitts? | 我的隔热手套呢 |
| [00:08] | You can use my puppets if you want, Mrs. A. | 不介意可以用我的手掌玩偶 A太太 |
| [00:11] | Can you French braid my hair before school today? | 你今天可以在上学前帮我编法式辫子吗 |
| [00:14] | Honey, I can’t, but we’ll do it tomorrow. | 宝贝 不行 但我们可以明天编 |
| [00:16] | You said that yesterday. | 你昨天也这么说 |
| [00:17] | I’m sorry. I’m swamped. | 抱歉 我太忙了 |
| [00:18] | Go upstairs and grab your backpack. | 上楼去拿书包 |
| [00:21] | I need to talk to you about something. | 我有事需要和你谈谈 |
| [00:23] | No time to talk. | 没时间谈 |
| [00:24] | What happened to my spatula? | 我的铲子呢 |
| [00:28] | Everybody needs to go. | 所有人都走 |
| [00:29] | Trip, take Taylor to school. | 特里普 带泰勒去学校 |
| [00:30] | Oh, we’re actually not driving together. | 我们不能一起开车 |
| [00:32] | Since I’m going to college next year, | 既然我明年要去上大学 |
| [00:34] | Trip and I are gonna practice being in a long-distance relationship. | 特里普和我要练习异地恋 |
| [00:37] | We decided that we’re not gonna see each other for the next few weeks, | 我们决定接下来几周都不见面 |
| [00:40] | so this is goodbye for a while. | 所以要暂时再见了 |
| [00:45] | Goodbye. | 再见 |
| [00:46] | Bye. | 拜 |
| [00:49] | Bye-bye. | 拜拜 |
| [00:50] | I’ll always have you in here. | 我会一直把你放在心里 |
| [00:51] | And I have you in here, and I want you out there! | 你们一直在这里 我希望你们能出去 |
| [00:57] | Oh, my God! Lonnie Spears! | 天啊 朗尼·斯皮尔斯 |
| [01:00] | Is this Greg’s house? | 这是格雷格家吗 |
| [01:01] | Lonnie Spears knows your dad’s name? | 朗尼·斯皮尔斯知道你爸叫什么 |
| [01:02] | How cool is that?! | 太酷了 |
| [01:04] | Katie, this is what I wanted to talk to you about. | 凯蒂 这就是我想和你谈的事 |
| [01:05] | This is the YouTuber that I’m ghostwriting the autobiography for. | 这位就是我在帮忙代写自传的油管主 |
| [01:08] | It’s nice to meet you, Katie. | 很高兴认识你 凯蒂 |
| [01:11] | Why is that funny? | 这有什么好笑的 |
| [01:12] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [01:15] | I forgot my phone charger. You got one I can use? | 我忘带充电器了 你有我能用的吗 |
| [01:17] | Yeah, there’s one by the TV. | 有 电视旁边有一个 |
| [01:18] | Parkour! | 跑酷 |
| [01:22] | Jump! | 跳跃 |
| [01:24] | Why is that idiot in our house? | 为什么那个蠢货会出现在我们家 |
| [01:26] | Just so you know, | 告诉你 |
| [01:27] | that idiot has 20 million Instagram followers | 那个蠢货在照片分享网上两千万粉丝 |
| [01:29] | and is a multi-millionaire. | 还是个千万富翁 |
| [01:31] | He’s rich? | 他很有钱 |
| [01:32] | Our kids are idiots, too, and they’re not earning a dime. | 我们的孩子也都是蠢货 却赚不来一分钱 |
| [01:35] | Katie, I need material for this book, | 凯蒂 我写书需要素材 |
| [01:36] | but I can’t get Lonnie to talk about anything substantial. | 但我没办法让朗尼说出任何实质性的内容 |
| [01:39] | I brought him here because I thought | 我把他带来这里是因为 |
| [01:40] | putting him in a calmer environment might help. | 我觉得让他处在更平静的环境里会有所帮助 |
| [01:42] | You sell lasagnas, right? | 你卖千层面 对吧 |
| [01:43] | You ever think about putting fake eyeballs in it as a prank? | 你有没有想过在里边放假眼球来玩恶作剧 |
| [01:46] | It would be hilarious. | 肯定非常好笑 |
| [01:47] | Your generation is truly the worst. | 你们这代最糟糕了 |
| [01:50] | Nah, dawg. We made GIFs. | 不 我们发明了动图 |
| [01:51] | Greatest generation ever. | 有史以来最棒的一代 |
| [01:53] | Yeet! | 耶特 |
| [01:55] | Can you please take him to your office? | 你能带他去你办公室吗 |
| [01:57] | We can’t work in there | 我们没办法在里边工作 |
| [01:58] | because you’ve turned it into your supply closet. | 因为你已经把办公室变成了储藏室 |
| [02:00] | Boxes of tomato paste on every free surface | 到处都是一箱箱的番茄酱 |
| [02:02] | do not create a professional environment. | 营造不出专业的环境氛围 |
| [02:04] | I can’t believe you’re saying that, | 我不敢相信你这么说 |
| [02:05] | because my office is where everybody hangs out, | 所有人都在我的办公室闲晃 |
| [02:08] | and I can’t get anything done. | 而我什么都没办法做 |
| [02:21] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [02:22] | She’s doing that thing with the stairs again. | 她又开始做那个楼梯的步伐了 |
| [02:24] | Could her OCD be back? | 难道她的强迫症又犯了 |
| [02:25] | Your daughter would make a cool Boomerang video. | 你们的女儿这段可以成为很棒的循环视频 |
| [02:28] | I wouldn’t even need to loop it. | 我甚至不用循环播放 |
| [02:29] | You know that video you showed me | 还记得你给我看的 |
| [02:31] | when you teased that bear with a Slim Jim? | 你用香肠戏弄熊的视频吗 |
| [02:34] | She’s the bear. | 她相当于那头熊 |
| [02:45] | Hey, did you say anything to Anna-Kat in the car? | 你在车里跟安娜凯特说什么了吗 |
| [02:48] | Of course not. | 当然没有 |
| [02:48] | You made me take Lonnie with me to drop her off at school. | 你让我带朗尼一起送她去上学 |
| [02:51] | He had her filming him with his head out the window | 他把脑袋伸出窗外 让她拍摄下来 |
| [02:52] | so his cheeks flapped like a dog. | 他的脸颊像狗一样鼓起来乱晃 |
| [02:54] | Is she back to her old behavior? | 她变回她原来的行为习惯了吗 |
| [02:56] | It might be a one-time thing, right? | 也可能就那么一次 对吧 |
| [02:58] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [02:59] | Or she was just doing a little dance. | 或者她只是跳了几步舞 |
| [03:00] | Of course. There’s no reason to overreact. | 当然 没理由大惊小怪 |
| [03:12] | Oh, no. | 不好 |
| [03:26] | I don’t know whether to sit down and cry | 我不知道是该坐下哭 |
| [03:29] | or let her have a go at the junk drawer. | 还是趁机让她把杂物抽屉整理一下 |
| [03:36] | Hey, I’m heading to Sam Beckett’s helicopter christening. | 我正要去萨姆·贝克特的直升机洗礼式 |
| [03:39] | You sure you don’t want to come? | 你确定不去吗 |
| [03:40] | I can’t. I’m about to start my first day at Teen Help Line. | 我去不了 这是我在青少年求助热线的第一天 |
| [03:42] | They’re putting me on the phones. | 他们要让我接电话 |
| [03:43] | Dude! You should call yourself, | 老兄 你应该给自己打电话求助 |
| [03:45] | because your life is tragic! | 因为你的生活简直是悲剧 |
| [03:47] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [03:49] | It’s the last place I want to be. | 这是我最不想待的地方 |
| [03:50] | But it’s gonna help me get into Harvard. | 但这会帮我进入哈佛大学 |
| [03:53] | Oh, I’ve got to go. | 我得挂了 |
| [03:54] | Don’t sweat it, amigo. | 别担心 朋友 |
| [03:55] | It’s helicopter christening season, | 现在是直升机洗礼式季 |
| [03:56] | so you can always catch the next one. | 你总能赶上下一次的 |
| [04:00] | Before we get started, | 我们开始之前 |
| [04:01] | I want to make sure you’re comfortable. | 我想要确保你现在是舒适的 |
| [04:03] | Well, it is a little chilly in here. | 这里有点冷 |
| [04:05] | I hear you. You’re feeling cold. | 我听到了 你感觉冷 |
| [04:06] | We will get through this. | 我们能度过去的 |
| [04:08] | I can just put on a sweater. | 我可以穿上件毛衣 |
| [04:09] | You seem to have found a solution. | 看来你找到了解决办法 |
| [04:11] | Your ability to succeed is endless. | 你通向成功的能力是无穷尽的 |
| [04:13] | You have the opposite vibe of my mom. | 你和我妈正好完全相反 |
| [04:16] | I just want to warn you, | 我想要提醒你 |
| [04:17] | some of the calls that you’re gonna take might be a little tough. | 有些电话可能会很难应对 |
| [04:20] | You know, people seem to think | 人们可能会觉得 |
| [04:21] | that the kids in Westport don’t have any problems, | 西港的孩子们没有任何烦恼 |
| [04:23] | but they need as much guidance and help | 但他们和世界上其他的孩子们一样 |
| [04:25] | as all the other kids in the world. | 也需要同样的指导和帮助 |
| [04:27] | Except for the kids in Denmark. | 除了丹麦的孩子们 |
| [04:28] | That’s just a country of happy people. | 那整个国家的人民都非常快乐 |
| [04:30] | No one knows why. | 没人知道原因 |
| [04:31] | I’ll just stick to the script you gave me, | 我会按照你给的脚本来说 |
| [04:33] | and if things get weird, | 如果不可收拾 |
| [04:34] | I’ll put the caller on hold and find a supervisor. | 我会暂停电话 找个主管过来 |
| [04:36] | You did it again. Came up with your own solution. | 你又出色表现了一次 自己找到了解决办法 |
| [04:39] | I learn more from you than you learn from me. | 我从你身上学到的 比教给你的还多 |
| [04:42] | It’s starting to feel that way. | 我也开始这么觉得 |
| [04:45] | Here we go! | 开始吧 |
| [04:49] | Hello? This is Teen Help Line. | 你好 这里是青少年求助热线 |
| [04:51] | I’m here to listen. What’s on your mind today? | 我会认真倾听 你今天有什么烦恼 |
| [04:54] | Hi. I-I’m really upset. | 你好 我非常难过 |
| [04:56] | Okay, well, maybe if you talk about it, | 好的 也许你说出来 |
| [04:58] | it won’t seem so bad. | 会好受一点 |
| [04:59] | Yeah, okay. | 好吧 |
| [05:01] | I got this new Porsche | 我得到一辆新保时捷 |
| [05:02] | because I did really well on my report card. | 因为我的成绩单很出色 |
| [05:04] | Go on. | 继续 |
| [05:05] | But… | 但是 |
| [05:06] | But it has red brake calipers and not the yellow ones. | 但是竟然是红色的刹车钳 而不是黄色的 |
| [05:10] | Okay, we’re going to work with you | 好的 我们会和你一起 |
| [05:11] | and find a way to make you feel better. | 找到让你好受点的办法 |
| [05:13] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [05:18] | Try to think of the good things you have in your life. | 试着想想你生活中好的一面 |
| [05:20] | Like getting a Porsche | 比如你得到了一辆保时捷 |
| [05:21] | instead of having your report card | 而非你的成绩单 |
| [05:23] | stuck to the fridge with a weak magnet | 被破磁铁贴在冰箱上 |
| [05:25] | until it slowly sinks to the floor. | 直到逐渐落到地上 |
| [05:29] | I thought that we were over this, | 我本以为已经结束了 |
| [05:31] | and then we opened the door to Anna-Kat’s room. | 结果我们开了安娜凯特房间的门 |
| [05:33] | It was like somebody put OCD in a Coke can, | 就好像有人把强迫症放到可乐罐子里 |
| [05:35] | shook it up, and sprayed it everywhere. | 充分摇晃 然后洒得到处都是 |
| [05:38] | That’s surprising. | 真让人意外 |
| [05:39] | She hasn’t exhibited any of the old behavior at school. | 她在学校没有表现出任何原来的行为 |
| [05:42] | In fact, she’s getting shining reports from her teachers. | 实际上 老师们都给了她非常棒的报告 |
| [05:45] | She’s thriving here. | 她在这里大放异彩 |
| [05:46] | Is there anything different at home? | 在家里有什么不一样的吗 |
| [05:49] | Not really. | 并没有 |
| [05:51] | I mean, I started a business. | 我是说 我开始做生意 |
| [05:52] | But I’m working from home, | 但我在家办公 |
| [05:53] | so everything is pretty much the same. | 所以一切都和以前差不多 |
| [05:56] | Well, if I had to think of something, I would say | 如果要说有什么 |
| [05:59] | that Katie’s fuse has been a lot shorter than usual. | 就是凯蒂的导火线可比之前短多了 |
| [06:03] | Oh, I just remembered a big change | 我刚想起来 |
| [06:05] | that is about to happen at home. | 家里将会有个重大变化 |
| [06:06] | Greg is moving out. | 格雷格要搬出去了 |
| [06:08] | I can’t believe you think that this is my fault. | 我不敢相信你觉得这是我的错 |
| [06:10] | Your fuse is short, too, | 你的导火线也很短 |
| [06:12] | constantly chasing that dumb Donnie around the house. | 不停地追在那个蠢货唐尼的身后 |
| [06:14] | Dumb Lonnie. Correction — | 纠正 是蠢货朗尼 |
| [06:16] | Greg is not only moving out, he’s gone missing. | 格雷格不仅要搬出去 他还失踪了 |
| [06:19] | Nobody knows where he is. | 没人知道他在哪儿 |
| [06:20] | Okay, you know what? | 好吧 你知道吗 |
| [06:21] | Maybe Anna-Kat is picking up on | 也许安娜凯特感受到了 |
| [06:23] | a little bit of… tension between you two. | 你们之间的一些紧张气氛 |
| [06:26] | I mean, I feel it, and I’ve only been with you for three minutes. | 我是说 我只和你们待了三分钟 就感受到了 |
| [06:29] | She may be using old behavior to comfort herself. | 她回归之前的行为模式可能是为了让自己感到舒适 |
| [06:33] | Ah, I feel terrible. | 我觉得好愧疚 |
| [06:35] | I’m going to talk to her. | 我会和她谈谈 |
| [06:37] | I-I think bringing up the OCD behavior to Anna-Kat | 我觉得跟安娜凯特提起强迫症 |
| [06:39] | will only exacerbate it. | 只会让她更糟 |
| [06:41] | But I would recommend curbing the bickering around her. | 但我建议你们在她周围停止争吵 |
| [06:45] | Try and keep things calm. | 试着保持平静 |
| [06:47] | As much as you can… being…who you are. | 尽可能地做到吧 毕竟你们是这样的人 |
| [06:59] | So, Dr. Ellie said that Greg and I need to stop bickering | 埃莉医生说我和格雷格需要停止争吵 |
| [07:02] | because we might be triggering Anna-Kat. | 因为我们可能会触发安娜凯特的强迫症 |
| [07:04] | I say bicker away. | 要我说就随便吵 |
| [07:06] | Fighting means there’s still passion. | 吵架说明还有激情 |
| [07:08] | Wait. You and Richard fought all the time, | 等等 你和理查德总是吵架 |
| [07:10] | and your marriage fell apart. | 然后你们离婚了 |
| [07:11] | Yeah, in some cases, fighting just means you hate each other. | 是的 某些情况下 吵架意味着你们恨对方 |
| [07:13] | Normally, we don’t argue | 一般来说我们不会争论 |
| [07:15] | because we’re united by a common enemy — | 因为我们有共同的敌人 |
| [07:17] | the kids. | 孩子们 |
| [07:18] | But since we’re both working out of the house, | 但自从我们都在家里工作 |
| [07:20] | we’re driving each other nuts. | 我们要把对方逼疯了 |
| [07:21] | I have a tip to stay calm. | 我有个保持冷静的诀窍 |
| [07:23] | I give it to all my clients | 我跟那些站在证人席上 |
| [07:24] | who are on the stand, being provoked by opposing counsel. | 被对方律师刺激的委托人都说过 |
| [07:26] | I tell them to count to five before answering | 我让他们数到五再回答 |
| [07:29] | so they don’t respond impulsively. | 以免冲动 |
| [07:32] | That doesn’t sound like | 听起来 |
| [07:32] | I have to change anything fundamental about myself. | 不需要我从本质上改变自己 |
| [07:35] | I’ll give it a try. | 我会试试 |
| [07:37] | Yeah, you should. | 你是该试试 |
| [07:38] | Because if it’s hard out there being single for me — whoo! — | 因为如果我这种离婚女人想再觅情缘都那么难 |
| [07:41] | for you, it’s gonna be… | 那对你 简直… |
| [07:46] | Go ahead. | 继续说啊 |
| [07:47] | I want to hear it. | 我想听 |
| [07:49] | Look at you, bringing a Doris to a Katie fight, | 瞧瞧你 把多瑞丝拖进和凯蒂的争吵里 |
| [07:52] | like a damn fool. | 像个傻瓜 |
| [07:56] | How was Teen Help Line? | 青少年求助热线如何 |
| [07:57] | It was actually pretty easy. | 其实还挺简单的 |
| [07:59] | All the calls were such Westport problems. | 所有的来电都是非常西港化的问题 |
| [08:01] | One caller was upset | 有个人很难过 |
| [08:02] | because a classmate had the same Prada sweater. | 因为有同学穿了同一件普拉达的毛衣 |
| [08:05] | Another caller wanted to run away from home | 另一个人想逃离家里 |
| [08:07] | because her parents didn’t get Beyoncé | 因为她父母没请来碧昂丝 |
| [08:09] | to perform at her Sweet Sixteen. | 参加她的十六岁生日 |
| [08:11] | They got Ashanti. | 只请来了亚香缇 |
| [08:12] | I don’t know how you deal with that much trauma in one night. | 我不知道你怎么能在一晚应对这么多创伤 |
| [08:21] | There. Four lasagnas done. | 好了 四份千层面做好了 |
| [08:23] | And I know I’m not supposed to say this, but… | 我知道我不该这么说 但是 |
| [08:26] | you’re my favorite. | 你是我的最爱 |
| [08:27] | Thanks, Mom. | 谢了 老妈 |
| [08:29] | Oh, I wasn’t — | 我并没有… |
| [08:30] | Believe what you want. | 愿意信什么就信什么吧 |
| [08:32] | So, how is the trial long-distance thing going with Trip? | 和特里普的异地恋怎么样 |
| [08:34] | Good. It’s actually a lot easier than I thought it was gonna be. | 很好 实际上比我想象的要简单很多 |
| [08:38] | Hi, Mrs. A! | 你好 A太太 |
| [08:39] | No wonder it’s easy. | 怪不得简单 |
| [08:40] | It isn’t a real separation | 如果你们两个 |
| [08:41] | if you’re constantly seeing each other on the phone. | 不断地视频通话 那这算不上分离 |
| [08:43] | Well, that’s how it’s gonna be in college. | 我上大学就会是这样的 |
| [08:44] | We can FaceTime whenever we want. | 我们随时可以视频 |
| [08:46] | You won’t have time for that. | 你不会有时间的 |
| [08:47] | You’re going to be going to classes | 你会去上课 |
| [08:48] | and out at the bars with new friends, | 和新朋友一起去酒吧玩 |
| [08:50] | walking home drunk and stumbling into the wrong house, | 醉醺醺地回家 步履蹒跚地走错房子 |
| [08:52] | eating a stranger’s fried chicken. | 吃掉陌生人的炸鸡 |
| [08:54] | God, I miss college. | 天啊 我好怀念大学 |
| [08:57] | So, tell me more about your parents. | 再跟我说说有关你父母的事吧 |
| [08:58] | I mean, more than just “They cool.” | 除了”他们很酷”以外 |
| [09:00] | Zag! | 急转弯 |
| [09:02] | Okay. We’ll put a pin in that. | 好吧 先到这里 聊不下去了 |
| [09:05] | So far, we’ve put a pin in your childhood, | 目前为止 聊不下去的包括你的童年 |
| [09:07] | a pin in how you started your career, | 你如何开始的职业生涯 |
| [09:08] | but we’ve talked endlessly about how tall I am | 但我们谈了很多关于我有多高 |
| [09:10] | and how I flare my nostrils when I speak. | 以及我说话时会张大鼻孔的事 |
| [09:13] | Yeah. It’s crazy, man. | 是啊 太疯狂了 老兄 |
| [09:15] | It’s like talking to a horse. | 就像对牛弹琴 |
| [09:18] | Right. | 好吧 |
| [09:19] | These are for customers! | 这些是给顾客准备的 |
| [09:21] | What do you think you’re doing? | 你以为自己在干什么 |
| [09:23] | Acting on impulse. | 随性而为 |
| [09:24] | It’s part of my charm. | 这也是我的魅力点之一 |
| [09:28] | Greg, this kitchen is my office. | 格雷格 厨房是我的办公室 |
| [09:30] | How am I supposed to work if — | 我该如何工作 如果… |
| [09:35] | One, two, three, four, five. | 一 二 三 四 五 |
| [09:40] | Honey, would you keep Lonnie out of the kitchen? | 宝贝 你能让朗尼远离厨房吗 |
| [09:42] | These are pre-paid orders, | 这些是已付钱的订单 |
| [09:43] | and they took me all morning to make. | 花费了我一整个上午才做完 |
| [09:44] | One, two, three, four, five. | 一 二 三 四 五 |
| [09:47] | I’ve been trying to keep him in my office, | 我已经尽力让他待在我办公室里了 |
| [09:49] | but I couldn’t with all your lasagna ingredients stored in there. | 但你在里面堆了太多千层面材料 实在待不下去 |
| [09:52] | On a sidenote, do I flare my nose like a horse? | 插一句 我会像马一样扇鼻子吗 |
| [09:55] | One, two, three, four, five. | 一 二 三 四 五 |
| [09:57] | Do you think I have time to look at your ginormous nostrils? | 你觉得我有时间看你那巨大的鼻孔吗 |
| [09:59] | I’m trying to run a business here. | 我在努力做生意呢 |
| [10:01] | One, two, three, four, five. | 一 二 三 四 五 |
| [10:03] | But I can’t, because you can’t control Lonnie. | 但我做不了 因为你控制不了朗尼 |
| [10:05] | One, three, five. I’m trying. | 一 三 五 我尽力了 |
| [10:07] | And we were almost on a roll, | 我们本来几乎算是聊得很顺利了 |
| [10:08] | but then you came in to get a crate of tomatoes, | 但你进来 来拿一箱西红柿 |
| [10:10] | and all he could talk about | 接着他就一直念叨着 |
| [10:11] | was how ripe the tomatoes need to be | 番茄需要熟到怎样的程度 |
| [10:13] | to make the perfect splat when he throws them off a building. | 从楼顶上被扔下来砸烂时 才会形成完美的图案 |
| [10:15] | One, five! You’re driving me crazy! | 一 五 你快把我逼疯了 |
| [10:17] | Five! | 五 |
| [10:18] | I got nothing. Just five! | 我没什么可说的 就是五 |
| [10:21] | How you doing, sweetie? | 你在干什么 亲爱的 |
| [10:22] | – We’re not fighting. – No. | -我们没有吵架 -没有 |
| [10:23] | We’re just having fun with numbers. | 我们只是在拿数字闹着玩而已 |
| [10:25] | Numbers are fun. | 数字很好玩 |
| [10:56] | One, two, three, four, five. | 一 二 三 四 五 |
| [10:59] | We suck at this. | 我们太不擅长这个了 |
| [11:03] | Oliver, I’m gonna have to step away for a bit. | 奥利弗 我得离开一小会儿 |
| [11:05] | My stomach is rumbling, and I want to honor it. | 我的肚子饿得咕咕叫 我打算尊重它的意见 |
| [11:08] | So you’re going to get a snack. | 所以你要去吃些零食 |
| [11:10] | Thank you for hearing me. | 谢谢你听明白了我的意思 |
| [11:12] | Are you gonna be okay to take phone calls on your own while I’m gone? | 我不在 你一个人接求助电话没问题吧 |
| [11:15] | Oh, yeah, I should be good. | 当然 我应该没问题的 |
| [11:16] | The only call I’ve gotten today | 我今天接到的唯一一通电话 |
| [11:17] | is from a girl who’s sad | 是一个伤心女孩打来的 |
| [11:18] | her diamond studs make her ears look tiny. | 因为她的钻石耳钉显得她的耳朵很小 |
| [11:28] | Hello? This is Teen Help Line. | 喂 这里是青少年求助热线 |
| [11:30] | I’m here to listen. What do you want to talk about today? | 我将在此倾听 请问你今天想谈些什么 |
| [11:33] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [11:35] | I just wanted to talk to someone. | 我只是想找人谈谈 |
| [11:37] | Things are kind of bad. | 最近我太惨了 |
| [11:38] | Well, maybe I can help. | 或许我可以帮上忙 |
| [11:41] | Is it about a designer sweater or a Beyoncé no-show? | 是关于设计师定制款毛衣还是碧昂斯未出席活动 |
| [11:44] | Did you vacation in the U.S. Virgin Islands | 在美国版的维尔京群岛度的假 |
| [11:46] | instead of the British ones? | 而非在英国版的群岛度的假 |
| [11:48] | I just feel, uh… | 我只是觉得… |
| [11:50] | it’s all too much. | 难以承受 |
| [11:51] | I’m — I’m lost. | 我 我迷失了方向 |
| [11:56] | Are you still there? | 你还在吗 |
| [11:57] | Yes, I’m still here. | 当然 我还在 |
| [11:58] | I’ve been in a bad place lately. | 我最近状况很糟糕 |
| [12:02] | I hear that. I hear that. | 我听到了 我听到了 |
| [12:03] | Please keep going. | 请继续说 |
| [12:05] | The funny thing is, people think I’m Superman, | 好笑的是 大家都觉得我是超人 |
| [12:07] | but I’m not. | 但我不是 |
| [12:09] | They don’t get that I just don’t want to do this anymore. | 他们就是不明白 我不想再继续下去了 |
| [12:11] | I think I want out. | 我觉得我想停止 |
| [12:13] | Out of what? | 停止什么 |
| [12:13] | School? This call? | 停止学业 停止这通电话 |
| [12:16] | Supervisor? | 主管 |
| [12:19] | Can you hold on for just one second? | 你能稍等一下吗 |
| [12:22] | I have to go. | 我要挂了 |
| [12:22] | W-Wait. Please promise me you’re gonna call back. | 等等 答应我你还会再次打来的 |
| [12:24] | Okay. Okay. | 好的 好的 |
| [12:33] | Hello? Is this you? | 喂 是你吗 |
| [12:34] | Hi. My parents are so abusive. | 嗨 我父母太恶劣了 |
| [12:37] | They bought me a dog, but it isn’t a purebred! | 他们给我买了只狗 但却不是纯种的 |
| [12:45] | Go fish. | 钓鱼 |
| [12:46] | Do you have any…7s? | 你有…7吗 |
| [12:49] | Yeah, I do. Two. | 我有 有两张呢 |
| [12:54] | Oh, I don’t think this is gonna work. | 这样好像是行不通的 |
| [12:56] | Hey, Kate? | 嘿 凯特 |
| [12:57] | Your husband’s fancy pen spit ink all over me. | 你丈夫的高级钢笔漏墨 搞得我身上都是墨水 |
| [12:59] | Where’s the washing machine? | 洗衣机在哪里 |
| [13:00] | In your own home, hopefully. | 在你自己家啊 应该有吧 |
| [13:03] | You are way more fun than your husband. | 你可比你丈夫有趣多了 |
| [13:05] | I’m guessing that’s not the first time you’ve heard that. | 我猜你应该不是第一次听这话吧 |
| [13:07] | That is not okay to say. | 说这种话是不应该的 |
| [13:09] | But no, it’s not the first time. | 但是 的确不是第一次听人说 |
| [13:11] | No, you hang up first. | 不 你先挂 |
| [13:14] | What’s up, my man?! | 还好吗 兄弟 |
| [13:17] | Oh, my God! We look so funny! | 天呐 我们看上去好搞笑啊 |
| [13:24] | Dogs can’t use phones, so I can’t laugh, | 狗是不会用手机的 所以我笑不出来 |
| [13:26] | because it doesn’t make any sense. | 因为这完全讲不通 |
| [13:28] | I look fantastic. | 我看上去好帅啊 |
| [13:29] | You really do. | 的确如此 |
| [13:35] | Greg? | 格雷格 |
| [13:36] | Come look at this. | 快来看看这个 |
| [13:39] | If it’s another neighbor throwing a party we’re not invited to, | 如果又是邻居开派对没邀请我们 |
| [13:41] | you have to accept it. | 你必须接受这个现实了 |
| [13:42] | We’re not well-liked. | 我们并不怎么讨喜 |
| [13:43] | No! | 不是 |
| [13:44] | It’s Anna-Kat. | 是安娜凯特 |
| [13:45] | She is combing the front lawn. | 她在用梳子梳理前院的草坪 |
| [13:49] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:52] | Oh, God. | 天呐 |
| [13:54] | I thought we were past this. | 我以为这种情况早已成为过去了 |
| [13:55] | She’s getting worse. | 她的情况越来越糟糕了 |
| [13:57] | And we haven’t even argued today. | 我们今天明明都没争吵啊 |
| [13:58] | I don’t think this has anything to do with tension between us. | 我觉得这跟我们之间的紧张气氛没有关系 |
| [14:01] | There has to be another reason. We have to find out why. | 肯定是别的原因 我们必须查出来到底是什么 |
| [14:04] | She’s coming in. | 她要进屋了 |
| [14:06] | What is the payoff to being a parent? | 做父母到底有什么好处呢 |
| [14:09] | Are we doing all of this | 我们付出了这么多 |
| [14:10] | just so somebody will hold our hands on our deathbeds? | 难道就为了临死之时 有人能握住我们的手吗 |
| [14:12] | Because a nice, cheerful nurse would be fine. | 请一个好护士也能做到啊 |
| [14:17] | Hi, honey. | 嗨 宝贝 |
| [14:19] | Did you have a nice time playing? | 你玩得开心吗 |
| [14:22] | Are you hungry? Do you need a snack? | 你饿吗 要吃零食吗 |
| [14:24] | So, that’s what we’re talking about? | 所以我们是要谈这些无关痛痒的事吗 |
| [14:26] | How about the fact that I’m out there | 不如谈谈我刚刚在外面跟个疯子一样 |
| [14:27] | combing our lawn, like a loon? | 梳理草坪的事怎么样 |
| [14:29] | You’re not gonna say anything about that? | 你们连提都不打算提那事吗 |
| [14:32] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:32] | What do I have to do to get you guys to pay attention to me? | 我到底要做什么 才能让你们注意到我 |
| [14:35] | I’m running out of ideas! | 我能想到的主意都用遍了 |
| [14:38] | Anna-Kat! | 安娜凯特 |
| [14:39] | So it wasn’t about us arguing. | 所以并不是因为我们的争吵 |
| [14:42] | I knew Dr. Ellie didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. | 我就知道埃莉医生纯粹在胡说八道 |
| [14:45] | In your face, Dr. Ellie! | 打脸疼吧 埃莉医生 |
| [14:47] | You know this is still on us. | 你知道这依然是因为我们吧 |
| [14:48] | It can still be on us and in her face, Greg. | 就算是因为我们 那她也被打脸了 格雷格 |
| [14:59] | Honey, what is going on? | 亲爱的 到底是怎么回事 |
| [15:01] | Were you pretending to have OCD? | 你是在假装患有强迫症吗 |
| [15:02] | You had us scared to death. | 你快把我们吓死了 |
| [15:03] | I just missed the attention I used to get. | 我只是很怀念过去的那种关注度 |
| [15:06] | When I was a weirdo, you guys were all over me. | 我是个怪胎的时候 你们一心扑在我身上 |
| [15:08] | We realize we’ve been busy lately. | 我们意识到我们最近有些忙 |
| [15:10] | Mom especially, since she’s starting a business in our home. | 尤其是你妈 因为她要在我们家创业 |
| [15:12] | And your Dad is writing a book. | 你爸在写一本书 |
| [15:14] | About an idiot. | 是关于一个白痴的 |
| [15:15] | Are we doing this now? | 我们现在要吵起来吗 |
| [15:16] | You’re right. Let’s save it for date night. | 你说得对 留到约会之夜再吵吧 |
| [15:23] | We love you more than anything in this world, | 我们爱你胜过爱这世上的一切 |
| [15:26] | so thinking that you were backsliding had us worried sick. | 当我们以为你的病情又复发了 把我们担心死了 |
| [15:29] | And we’re sorry we haven’t been giving you enough attention. | 我们很抱歉没能给你足够的关注 |
| [15:31] | But you were faking OCD, and that’s not okay. | 但你却假装患了强迫症 那是不对的 |
| [15:36] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [15:37] | Well, you don’t get attention like you used to | 你不再获得过去那么高的关注度 |
| [15:38] | because you don’t need it as much anymore. | 是因为你已经不需要它了 |
| [15:40] | And I know it’s hard, but you changed, | 我知道这很难 但你已经变化了 |
| [15:43] | and that’s a good thing. | 那是好事 |
| [15:44] | Doesn’t feel that way. | 我并不觉得是这样 |
| [15:46] | I know, baby. Change is hard. | 我懂的 宝贝 改变是很难的 |
| [15:48] | But don’t worry. | 但是别担心 |
| [15:49] | When you’re a teenager, | 身为青少年 |
| [15:50] | you’re bound to do horrible, stupid things | 肯定会做出各种可怕的 愚蠢的事情 |
| [15:52] | and get all the attention you want. | 来获得你想要的关注度 |
| [15:54] | She’s right, dude. | 她说得对 老兄 |
| [15:55] | And sometimes you become a millionaire because of it. | 有时候 你会因此而成为百万富翁哦 |
| [15:57] | Parkour! | 跑酷 |
| [16:03] | Idiot. | 白痴 |
| [16:06] | Your family moved 6 times before you were 10, | 你们家在你10岁前搬过6次家 |
| [16:09] | so you were the new kid a lot, huh? | 所以你经常成为学校新来的学生 对吧 |
| [16:10] | What was that like? | 那是种什么样的感觉 |
| [16:12] | Dude, check this out. | 老兄 看看这个 |
| [16:14] | I put fake eyeballs in Katie’s lasagna. | 我在凯蒂的千层面里放了颗假眼珠 |
| [16:17] | She’s gonna think it’s hilarious. | 她一定会觉得这超好笑的 |
| [16:18] | Oh, I think if you do that, | 我觉得如果你这么做 |
| [16:19] | the next eyeball in lasagna will be yours. | 下一颗被放进千层面的就是你的真眼珠 |
| [16:24] | Oh, my God, Trip. What are you doing here? | 天呐 特里普 你怎么会跑来这里 |
| [16:26] | We’re not supposed to see each other. | 我们不应该见面 |
| [16:28] | I know the real reason why you wanted this fake separation so much. | 我知道你为何如此想要这种假分离的真正原因了 |
| [16:30] | You wanted to be with Lonnie. | 你想跟朗尼在一起 |
| [16:32] | What are you talking about? | 你在胡说些什么啊 |
| [16:33] | You’re over here video-chatting me | 你在这里跟我视频聊天 |
| [16:35] | while you guys have puppy noses and high-pitched voices, | 你们的脸上出现了狗鼻子 声音也很细 |
| [16:37] | and it was adorable. | 那简直可爱爆了 |
| [16:39] | Now I see how it is when we’re apart — | 现在我明白如果我们真的分开会怎样了 |
| [16:40] | you drop me for the first cute guy that comes along. | 只要你身边出现一个帅哥 你就会甩了我 |
| [16:43] | Thanks, man. | 谢谢你 老兄 |
| [16:44] | I think you’re cute, too. | 我觉得你也很帅 |
| [16:45] | Mr. A, it happened under your roof? | A先生 你竟然允许你家里发生这种事 |
| [16:48] | I thought we were bros! | 我以为我们是好兄弟呢 |
| [16:48] | We are forever bros! | 我们永远是兄弟 |
| [16:50] | There is nothing going on between me and Lonnie. | 我和朗尼之间什么都没有 |
| [16:53] | I can’t believe you don’t trust me. | 我真不敢相信你竟然不信任我 |
| [16:55] | How are we gonna make things work when I go to college? | 那等我上大学了 这段恋情要怎么继续 |
| [16:57] | Or can we? | 或者我们还能继续吗 |
| [16:58] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [16:59] | Maybe we can’t. | 或许不能吧 |
| [17:03] | Trip, I totally get why you’re freaking out. | 特里普 我完全理解你为何发狂 |
| [17:05] | And I get why you’re upset, too. | 我也理解你为何会生气 |
| [17:07] | You two can do the long-distance thing, | 你们两个是能把异地恋坚持下去的 |
| [17:09] | but you’re gonna have to trust each other. | 但前提是你们要信任彼此 |
| [17:11] | Because I know what happens when you don’t. | 因为我知道一旦不信任会发生什么 |
| [17:14] | My dad used to have to go out of town a lot for business, | 我爸以前经常去外地出差 |
| [17:16] | and my mother was always worried that he was fooling around on her | 我妈总是担心他在外面鬼混 |
| [17:20] | which was crazy, | 那简直不可理喻 |
| [17:21] | because my dad was, like, hella skinny, bald, | 因为我爸骨瘦如柴 头上没几根毛 |
| [17:25] | had mad psoriasis. | 身上还有大片牛皮癣 |
| [17:26] | What’s psoriasis? | 牛皮癣是什么 |
| [17:27] | I think it’s those guys in Syria with the beards. | 就是叙利亚那些长着大胡子的家伙 |
| [17:29] | There was just no way my dad would ever cheat on my mom. | 我爸是不可能背着我妈出轨的 |
| [17:33] | But she didn’t trust him. | 但她就是不信任他 |
| [17:36] | And she got so sad when he was gone. | 我爸离开后 她伤心欲绝 |
| [17:39] | That’s why I started doing practical-joke videos. | 所以我就开始制作恶作剧视频 |
| [17:41] | I just wanted to make her laugh. | 我只是想逗她笑 |
| [17:43] | I’ve been trying to get you to open up to me for weeks, | 几周来我一直努力让你对我敞开心扉 |
| [17:45] | and the closest you’ve come is showing me | 你给出的最接近的回应就是给我看 |
| [17:46] | the X-rays from when you swallowed a robot for one of your videos. | 你为拍视频而吞下一个机器人后拍的X光片 |
| [17:49] | It’s Optimus Prime, bro. | 那是擎天柱 老兄 |
| [17:51] | He’s a Transformer. | 他是个变形金刚 |
| [17:54] | Whatever! Let’s get this down! Come on! | 随便吧 赶紧继续深挖一下 快跟我走 |
| [17:58] | Yeah, I’ll — I’ll be right there. | 好的 我马上就来 |
| [18:01] | You guys have to trust each other, | 你们必须信任彼此 |
| [18:03] | and you’ll be fine. | 你们不会有事的 |
| [18:08] | I’m really sorry, babe. I totally overreacted. | 我真的很抱歉 宝贝 我反应过激了 |
| [18:11] | We’ve got to work on this trust thing. | 我们必须好好培养彼此间的信任 |
| [18:13] | I’ll start. | 我先来 |
| [18:16] | Oh, my God! | 天呐 |
| [18:17] | You didn’t catch me. | 你没有接住我 |
| [18:18] | Are you okay? | 你还好吧 |
| [18:20] | What day is it? | 今天是什么日子 |
| [18:21] | Still today, right? | 还是今天 对吧 |
| [18:23] | You’re good. | 你没事 |
| [18:34] | Mom? | 妈 |
| [18:36] | I’ve got a big problem. | 我遇到大麻烦了 |
| [18:38] | Get in the car. I’ve got cash in the trunk. | 上车 我的后备箱里有现金 |
| [18:40] | I’ll take you wherever you need to go. | 你要去哪儿 我都送你去 |
| [18:41] | No, I’m not playing. | 不 我不玩这游戏 |
| [18:43] | I got a call at Teen Help Line today. | 我今天在青少年求助热线接到个电话 |
| [18:44] | The guy seemed to be in real trouble. | 打电话的那家伙似乎真的非常想不开 |
| [18:46] | Oh, no. Honey. I’m so sorry. | 不要啊 亲爱的 我很遗憾 |
| [18:49] | I tried to help him, but he hung up. | 我试图帮他 但他挂断了电话 |
| [18:51] | I told the counselor right away, | 我立刻就告诉了心理辅导师 |
| [18:52] | but there was no way to find the caller. | 但根本没办法找到那个来电者 |
| [18:55] | I just feel so helpless. | 我觉得好无助 |
| [18:59] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [18:59] | Look at you caring. | 瞧瞧你关心的样子 |
| [19:01] | It’s like your soul is going through puberty. | 就像你的灵魂正在经历青春期 |
| [19:05] | What do I do? | 我该怎么办啊 |
| [19:06] | Just got to wait. | 耐心等待就好 |
| [19:07] | Hopefully, he calls back. | 希望他再次打过来 |
| [19:09] | Just sit and wait? How can I do that? | 就坐等吗 我怎么能做到啊 |
| [19:11] | It’s so awful not knowing. | 未知的感觉真是太折磨人了 |
| [19:13] | Oh, I get that. | 我懂的 |
| [19:15] | That is what moms do all the time. | 当妈的经常被这种心情折磨 |
| [19:24] | Hilarious. | 笑死人了 |
| [19:25] | What? | 什么 |
| [19:26] | Lonnie put an eyeball in your lasagna. | 朗尼在你的千层面里放了颗眼珠 |
| [19:30] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [19:31] | Why is that hilarious? | 这怎么就好笑了 |
| [19:39] | Mom, do you want to play “Monopoly”? | 妈 你想玩《大富翁》游戏吗 |
| [19:42] | Sweetie, I wish I could, but I’m busy right now. | 亲爱的 我也希望我可以玩 但我现在太忙了 |
| [19:46] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [19:47] | I understand. | 我能理解 |
| [19:52] | But you could help me make lasagna if you want. | 但如果你愿意 可以帮我一起做千层面 |
| [19:55] | That way, we can work together. | 那样的话 我们就能一起工作了 |
| [19:57] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [19:59] | We get a little mother/daughter time, | 我们可以享受一点母女亲密时光 |
| [20:01] | and you get free child labor. | 你可以得到一个免费的童工 |
| [20:03] | That’s not how I’m looking at it. | 我可不是这么看待这事的 |
| [20:05] | Aren’t you? | 真不是吗 |
| [20:06] | A little bit. | 有一点点吧 |
| [20:10] | Okay, sprinkle it real nice. | 好了 撒得均匀一点 |
| [20:12] | Okay. Like — Like snow? | 好的 像下雪一样吗 |
| [20:13] | – Yes. – Okay. | -没错 -好的 |
| [20:15] | – It’s snowing! – Yeah! | -下雪啦 -太棒啦 |
| [20:20] | Hey, boys. I made you some lunch. | 嘿 男孩们 我给你们做了点午餐 |
| [20:23] | Thanks, girl. | 谢谢你 女孩 |
| [20:24] | No, no, no, no. | 不 不 不 |
| [20:25] | This piece is yours. | 这一块是你的 |
| [20:32] | What’d you do to it? | 你对它做了什么 |
| [20:33] | Nothing. | 什么都没做 |
| [20:34] | Come on. You’re pranking me back. | 说吧 你在用恶作剧报复我 |
| [20:36] | What’d you put in it? | 你在里面放了什么 |
| [20:38] | Mousetrap? Ex-Lax? Thumbtack? | 捕鼠器 泻药 图钉 |
| [20:40] | I’ve done ’em all. It’s my job, yo. | 我全都玩过了 这毕竟是我的工作 |
| [20:42] | If you think I have the time to make a prank lasagna, | 如果你觉得我有时间做一份用作恶作剧的千层面 |
| [20:44] | you’re out of your mind. | 那你估计是疯了 |
| [20:45] | Take a bite. | 咬一口尝尝吧 |
| [20:47] | Sure. | 好啊 |
| [20:54] | Even better. | 这样更好了 |
| [20:56] | You knew I was gonna do that. | 你早猜到我会这么做的 |
| [20:59] | Dude, I’m throwing this in the garbage. | 老兄 我要把这份丢进垃圾桶 |
| [21:03] | So, what’d you put in it? What’s the prank? | 你到底往里面放了什么 是什么样的恶作剧 |
| [21:05] | There is none. But now I’m in his head. | 什么都没有 但现在我在他的脑海里挥之不去 |
| [21:07] | I never have to feed that dope again. | 我永远不需要再做食物给那个白痴吃了 |
| [21:08] | That’s how Katie Otto rolls. | 凯蒂·奥图就是这么牛 |
| [21:10] | Yeet! | 耶特 |
| [21:11] | Oh, Greg, sweetie, no. Just no. | 格雷格 亲爱的 别这么鬼叫 拜托 |
| [21:13] | – Yee– – Don’t do it. | -耶… -别鬼叫 |
| [21:15] | – Yeet! – Stop! | -耶特 -打住 |