| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | Don’t take things out of the donate box. | 别把捐赠箱里的东西拿出来 |
| [00:07] | – That’s all gotta go. – But these are the shoes Anna-Kat wore | -都得捐出去 -但这是安娜凯特 |
| [00:10] | right before the shoes she had learned to walk in. | 不会走路时穿的最后一双鞋子 |
| [00:11] | They’re a keepsake! | 有纪念价值 |
| [00:12] | They’re a crap-sake. | 它们是垃圾 |
| [00:13] | Anything we can’t use is gone. | 我们不能用的东西都要捐出去 |
| [00:15] | We gotta clean out our basement | 这样才能空出地下室 |
| [00:17] | so I can make it my Mom Cave. | 成为我的妈妈基地 |
| [00:18] | – Mom Cave? – Yeah. | -妈妈基地 -是的 |
| [00:20] | You have your office. | 你有办公室 |
| [00:21] | – What do I have, Greg? – Well, you have — | -我有什么 格雷格 -你有 |
| [00:23] | I swear to God, if you say “Kitchen.” | 你敢说厨房试试 |
| [00:29] | Look at them. | 看她们 |
| [00:30] | They couldn’t be happier. | 好开心 |
| [00:32] | How does a hideous vampire of a woman like Chloe Brown Mueller | 那个可怕的吸血鬼克洛伊·布朗·米勒 |
| [00:35] | have such a delightful daughter? | 怎么会有这么可爱的女儿 |
| [00:37] | Thanks for having me over. | 谢谢你让我来玩 |
| [00:39] | Penny said she can come over again next week! | 佩妮说她下周还可以来 |
| [00:42] | Come on! Come on! | 走吧 |
| [00:43] | No way. | 不可能 |
| [00:45] | I can’t handle seeing Chloe Brown Mueller | 我最多只能见克洛伊·布朗·米勒 |
| [00:46] | more than once a month, | 一个月一次 |
| [00:47] | even if it’s for pick-up and drop-off. | 哪怕是送孩子和接孩子 |
| [00:49] | Okay, but it’s nice to see Anna-Kat making close friends. | 但看到安娜凯特交上好朋友是件好事 |
| [00:51] | Of all the people she could be friends with, | 那么多她可以交朋友的人 |
| [00:54] | she had to choose the one whose mom I hate the most. | 她偏要选那个妈妈我最讨厌的 |
| [00:57] | She is the cilantro of people. | 她堪比香菜 |
| [00:59] | Why don’t you go meet Doris and Angela, | 你不如去见多瑞丝和安吉拉 |
| [01:00] | and I’ll handle pick-up with Chloe? | 我来等克洛伊接孩子 |
| [01:02] | By the time you get back, she’ll be long gone. | 等你回家时 她早就走了 |
| [01:03] | It is so nice to have a husband who supports | 老公支持自己恨其他人 |
| [01:06] | my hatred of other people. | 感觉太好了 |
| [01:20] | Hey! My old Pick A Pet. | 我小时候的选宠物游戏机 |
| [01:22] | – “D” Is for… – Dog! | -D是 -狗 |
| [01:24] | – …dog. – Nailed it. | -狗 -搞定 |
| [01:26] | Taylor, did you do your presentation for History class? | 泰勒 历史课的演讲稿做完了吗 |
| [01:28] | Yep. I just have to put on a few more finishing touches. | 是 再最后润色一下就行 |
| [01:31] | Then I look forward to seeing it. | 那我很期待看到 |
| [01:33] | And I look forward to you seeing it. | 我很期待让你看到 |
| [01:35] | – Great. – Super great. | -好 -非常好 |
| [01:40] | You haven’t even started, have you? | 你根本还没开始 对吗 |
| [01:42] | No. | 没有 |
| [01:46] | Can you believe Mom wants to get rid of this? | 你能相信你妈想扔掉这个吗 |
| [01:48] | Yeah. Because it’s garbage. | 能 因为这是垃圾 |
| [01:49] | It looks like I picked the wrong guy | 看来我选错了人 |
| [01:50] | to stroll down Memory Lane with. | 和我一起怀旧 |
| [01:53] | Hey, what’s all your ballet stuff doing down here? | 你跳芭蕾的东西怎么在这里 |
| [01:55] | I’m hiding it. | 我藏起来了 |
| [01:56] | Brie’s coming over later, | 布里等一下要来 |
| [01:57] | and I don’t want her to know I take ballet. | 我不希望她知道我跳芭蕾 |
| [01:59] | Why? You love it. | 为什么 你很喜欢 |
| [02:00] | I know, but she’s gonna think it’s lame. | 我知道 但她会觉得差劲 |
| [02:02] | Dancing is part of what makes you unique. | 跳舞恰恰是让你与众不同的东西 |
| [02:03] | Without that, you’re kinda hard to take. | 没有这个 你很难让人喜欢 |
| [02:05] | – Sorry. – No, I get that. | -抱歉 -不 我理解 |
| [02:06] | You know, if Brie’s worth dating, | 如果布里值得约会 |
| [02:08] | you should let her know who you really are. | 你应该让她了解真正的你 |
| [02:09] | I am. I’m really someone who holds things back | 没错 真正的我要把那些 |
| [02:11] | that could be extremely embarrassing for me. | 让我丢人的东西藏起来 |
| [02:13] | Look, if she likes you, | 如果她喜欢你 |
| [02:15] | she won’t have a problem with ballet. | 就不会对芭蕾有意见 |
| [02:17] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [02:18] | I’m fifteen, I dance in a leotard | 我15岁 我穿着紧身衣裤 |
| [02:20] | to classical music about a swan. | 跟着古典乐跳关于天鹅的舞 |
| [02:22] | Swans are historically a fierce, aggressive bird. | 从历史观点来说 天鹅是凶猛有进攻性的鸟 |
| [02:26] | You know what? I’m hiding you in the basement, too. | 知道吗 我要把你也藏在地下室 |
| [02:32] | Can I have more lemonade? | 再来杯柠檬水好吗 |
| [02:34] | What are you doing? We’re done. | 你做什么 我们吃完了 |
| [02:35] | I gotta kill time. | 我得拖延时间 |
| [02:37] | Chloe Brown Mueller is coming by the house | 克洛伊·布朗·米勒要来我家 |
| [02:39] | to pick up Penny, and I don’t want to see her stupid face. | 接佩妮 我不想看到她的蠢脸 |
| [02:41] | You should do I what I do — | 你应该学我 |
| [02:43] | ban all playdates. | 禁止所有玩伴来家里 |
| [02:45] | And then start watching “The Masked Singer.” | 然后开始看《蒙面歌王》 |
| [02:47] | What does that have to do with my problem? | 这和我的问题有什么关系 |
| [02:48] | Nothing. I just want someone to talk about it with. | 没有 我只想说这个 |
| [02:50] | But Anna-Kat and Penny are good friends. | 但安娜凯特和佩妮是好朋友 |
| [02:53] | I feel kinda guilty keeping them apart. | 让她们分开我会内疚 |
| [02:55] | You have to put your kids’ needs first. | 你必须把孩子的需要放在第一位 |
| [02:57] | Celeste and I can barely | 塞莱斯特和我 |
| [02:58] | stand to be in the same room with each other, | 根本无法同处一室 |
| [02:59] | – but we do it for the kids. – No. | -但为了孩子我们可以 -不 |
| [03:01] | My kids do not come first. | 我的孩子不是第一位 |
| [03:03] | They come fifth. It goes — | 他们是第五位 依次是 |
| [03:04] | me, the dog, | 我 狗 |
| [03:05] | my $14,000 toilet, | 我价值14000的马桶 |
| [03:07] | the maid who doesn’t talk — | 不说话的女佣 |
| [03:08] | love her — | 爱她 |
| [03:09] | and then the kids. | 然后是孩子 |
| [03:10] | Where is Richard on that list? | 理查德排多少 |
| [03:12] | 38th. Right after the cappuccino machine. | 38 就在咖啡机后面 |
| [03:14] | Why doesn’t she have to come up with real ideas? | 为什么非要让她想出可行的主意 |
| [03:16] | I come up with real ideas. | 我才会想出可行的主意 |
| [03:17] | Okay, you don’t share custody with Chloe. | 你和克洛伊没有共享监护权 |
| [03:20] | Tell Anna-Kat that she can be school-friends with Penny | 告诉安娜凯特她可以在学校和佩妮做朋友 |
| [03:22] | but not home-friends. | 但在家里不行 |
| [03:23] | That way, you can avoid Chloe | 这样 你可以避开克洛伊 |
| [03:25] | but you don’t hurt the kids. | 又不伤害孩子 |
| [03:27] | Win-win. | 双赢 |
| [03:30] | that could work. | 也许能行 |
| [03:31] | Was that real enough for ya? | 这个够可行吗 |
| [03:39] | I was thinking about you hiding | 我想着你向布里 |
| [03:40] | what you’re passionate about from Brie. | 隐藏你的喜好 |
| [03:42] | Well, I was young once, too. | 我也年轻过 |
| [03:44] | I’m trying to picture it. | 我试着想象 |
| [03:47] | The closest I get is just you in shorts. | 最接近的画面就是你穿着短裤 |
| [03:49] | I had a hobby some people might’ve called lame, | 我有个爱好 有些人可能会说差劲 |
| [03:51] | but that didn’t stop me. | 但没有阻止我 |
| [03:52] | I want to show you something. | 我给你看样东西 |
| [04:00] | Oliver, this is Brad. | 奥利弗 这是布莱德 |
| [04:04] | I am so uncomfortable. | 我极度不舒服 |
| [04:07] | You’re uncomfortable? | 你不舒服 |
| [04:08] | I’ve been in a suitcase for 20 years. | 我在箱子里待了20年 |
| [04:11] | Oh, my neck! | 我的脖子 |
| [04:12] | Wow. Your lips didn’t move. | 你的嘴唇没动 |
| [04:14] | That’s amazing. | 了不起 |
| [04:15] | I should be surprised, | 我应该惊讶 |
| [04:16] | but this is so on-brand for you, Dad. | 对你来说太有性格了 爸 |
| [04:18] | Brad and I used to be inseparable. | 布莱德以前和我形影不离 |
| [04:20] | Yeah, until you stole my girl. | 是 直到你抢走了我的女孩 |
| [04:23] | Brad, you know that’s not fair. | 布莱德 你知道这样说不公平 |
| [04:24] | Helen pursued me. | 是海伦追的我 |
| [04:26] | Yeah, but you didn’t shut it down when — | 但你没有闭嘴 |
| [04:28] | Please stop, or I call 911. | 请停下 否则我就报警了 |
| [04:30] | The point is, I didn’t hide my hobby | 重点是 我并没有因为不酷 |
| [04:32] | just because it wasn’t cool. | 就隐藏我的爱好 |
| [04:34] | And that’s what you should do. | 你也应该这样 |
| [04:35] | – Ballet is part of what makes you special. – I don’t know… | -芭蕾令你特别 -我不知道 |
| [04:37] | I thought about dancing ballet myself, | 我也想过跳芭蕾 |
| [04:39] | but then I remembered… | 但我想起来 |
| [04:42] | …boneless legs. | 腿没有骨头 |
| [04:44] | Now I know. | 我知道了 |
| [04:46] | Thanks for clearing everything up for me. | 谢谢你让我想清楚 |
| [04:48] | I’m never telling her. | 我永远不会告诉她 |
| [04:49] | Okay! I’m back! | 我回来了 |
| [04:51] | I had to drive around the block seven times | 我在街上开车转了七遍 |
| [04:53] | because I didn’t want to see that black-hearted devil | 因为我不想看到那个黑心的魔鬼 |
| [04:56] | Chloe Brown Mue– | 克洛伊·布朗·米… |
| [04:57] | Hi, Penny! You’re still here. | 佩妮 你还没走 |
| [04:59] | Yeah, my mom must be running late. | 是 我妈迟到了 |
| [05:02] | You know, I just remembered, | 我刚想起来 |
| [05:03] | I have a few more errands to run. | 我还有点家务事要处理 |
| [05:08] | Penny! Get your coat before I get poor all over me! | 佩妮 拿上外套 免得我沾染上满身贫穷 |
| [05:11] | No! She’s here! | 不 她来了 |
| [05:20] | Sorry about my mom. | 抱歉我妈妈这样 |
| [05:22] | It’s okay. I’ve got one, too. | 没事 我也有一个 |
| [05:25] | Penny, let’s get out of here before I have to see — | 佩妮 我们快走 免得我看到 |
| [05:27] | Oh, too late. | 太晚了 |
| [05:29] | There she is. | 她在这里 |
| [05:30] | I can tell by the Costco jeans. | 从便宜牛仔裤就能看出来 |
| [05:34] | I’ll have you know, | 我告诉你 |
| [05:35] | I got these in a twelve-pack. | 这是12条一包的 |
| [05:39] | Penny, what are you wearing?! | 佩妮 你穿的是什么 |
| [05:40] | They’re just smocks from the donate box. | 捐赠箱里的罩衫 |
| [05:43] | This entire house is one big donate box. | 这整栋房子都是捐赠箱 |
| [05:46] | I’m not bringing Penny around here anymore. | 我不会再带佩妮来了 |
| [05:48] | Fine. I won’t be bringing Anna-Kat over to your house. | 好 我也不会送安娜凯特去你家 |
| [05:51] | It’s a huge sacrifice | 牺牲很大 |
| [05:53] | because I always send her with an extra bag | 因为我总是让她多带一个包 |
| [05:55] | to steal your FIJI waters. | 偷你的高级矿泉水 |
| [05:56] | Fine. Then we agree. | 好 那我们同意了 |
| [05:58] | – No more playdates. – They can be school-friends | -不再有游戏约会 -她们可以在学校做朋友 |
| [06:00] | but the home-friend thing is over. | 但在家里不行 |
| [06:02] | I look forward to never seeing your face again. | 我很期待再也不用看到你的脸 |
| [06:05] | Not as much as I look forward to never seeing you again. | 我更期待再也不用看到你 |
| [06:16] | Anna-Kat? | 安娜凯特 |
| [06:19] | Why did you lock the door? | 你为什么锁门 |
| [06:20] | We’re not giving up our playdates. | 我们不会放弃我们的游戏约会 |
| [06:23] | You two stay down here until you’re friends | 你们在这里直到成为朋友 |
| [06:24] | so we can play whenever we want. | 这样我们想什么时候一起玩都行 |
| [06:26] | We’ll be back in an hour. | 我们一小时后回来 |
| [06:28] | Anna-Kat! Anna-Kat! | 安娜凯特 |
| [06:30] | Greg! Taylor! | 格雷格 泰勒 |
| [06:33] | If we can’t come out ’til we’re friends… | 如果在我们成为朋友前不能出去 |
| [06:37] | …we’re gonna die in here. | 我们会死在这里 |
| [06:44] | Anna-Kat! Penny! | 安娜凯特 佩妮 |
| [06:46] | Let us out! | 放我们出去 |
| [06:49] | You’re not gonna get a signal. | 不可能有信号 |
| [06:51] | Kids! | 孩子们 |
| [06:53] | Katie’s sad husband! | 凯蒂可怜的丈夫 |
| [06:55] | Help! | 救命 |
| [06:56] | It’s no use. We’re locked in. | 没用的 我们被锁住了 |
| [06:58] | God, I feel like a kid at the zoo | 我觉得像小孩子在动物园 |
| [07:00] | who fell into a gorilla enclosure. | 掉进了大猩猩的围场 |
| [07:02] | Except at least they have sunlight | 只是那里还有阳光 |
| [07:03] | and the gorilla can’t talk. | 大猩猩不会说话 |
| [07:05] | God, I have an appointment that I cannot miss! | 我有一个不能错过的预约 |
| [07:08] | Need to go to the hospital for more baby blood | 需要去医院喝婴儿的血吗 |
| [07:10] | because you drink the blood of babies? | 因为你喝婴儿的血 |
| [07:11] | – I have things to do, too. – Right. | -我也有正经事 -是啊 |
| [07:13] | I’m sure you have nothing on your schedule | 我相信你的行事表上没有任何事 |
| [07:15] | but “Wear wrinkled clothes all day.” | 除了整天穿着超皱的衣服 |
| [07:17] | And look! You’re all set. | 看 你已经准备好了 |
| [07:28] | – Dad? – Anna-Kat! | -爸 -安娜凯特 |
| [07:30] | Why are you putting things Mom told you to throw away | 你为什么把妈妈让你扔的东西 |
| [07:32] | – in the attic? – hat’s a good question. | -放上阁楼 -问得好 |
| [07:34] | Have you seen your Mom? | 你见到妈妈了吗 |
| [07:36] | Is she close by or headed this way? | 她在附近 冲家里来了吗 |
| [07:38] | Don’t be mad, but I locked Mom and Penny’s mom | 别生气 我把妈妈和佩妮的妈妈 |
| [07:41] | in the basement until they become friends. | 关在地下室 直到她们成为朋友 |
| [07:43] | That is very… | 这真是太 |
| [07:45] | good for me. | 对我有利了 |
| [07:50] | What do you think is on that doorknob? | 你觉得门把手上有什么 |
| [07:52] | Your house smells like | 你家的味道就像 |
| [07:53] | a wet dog opened a fried chicken franchise! | 湿狗开了家炸鸡加盟店 |
| [07:55] | I’m not touching anything. | 我什么都不会碰 |
| [07:57] | Hello? | 有人吗 |
| [07:59] | Greg?! Let us out! | 格雷格 让我们出去 |
| [08:01] | It’s us. | 是我们 |
| [08:02] | It’s been an hour. | 已经一小时了 |
| [08:03] | Are you two friends yet? | 你们是朋友了吗 |
| [08:06] | You know… | 要知道 |
| [08:07] | we are friends now. | 我们是朋友了 |
| [08:10] | You are? For real? | 是吗 真的 |
| [08:11] | Yes! We are. | 是 我们是的 |
| [08:14] | W– The best of friends. | 最好的朋友 |
| [08:15] | We’re hugging! | 我们在拥抱 |
| [08:17] | Mm, so squishy! | 好软啊 |
| [08:19] | You can let us out now! | 可以放我们出去了 |
| [08:22] | Okay, if you’re friends, | 好 如果你们是朋友 |
| [08:24] | Mom, what’s Chloe’s favorite animal? | 妈 克洛伊最喜欢的动物是什么 |
| [08:32] | A horse. | 马 |
| [08:36] | A very pretentious horse! | 非常做作的马 |
| [08:39] | That’s right. | 没错 |
| [08:41] | Okay, Mom, what is Katie’s favorite color? | 妈 凯蒂最喜欢的颜色 |
| [08:45] | Purple. | 紫色 |
| [08:46] | I-I’m gonna say… | 我觉得是 |
| [08:48] | stained plaid? | 有污迹的格子图案 |
| [08:49] | You couldn’t lie for one second?! | 你连说谎都不会吗 |
| [08:50] | Well, you couldn’t dress not-terribly for one day?! | 你就不能一天不穿的这么糟糕吗 |
| [08:53] | Not friends. | 不是朋友 |
| [08:54] | See you in another hour. | 一小时后再见 |
| [08:58] | Penny, I did not have a scheduled C-section | 佩妮 我安排剖腹产 |
| [09:00] | and pay thousands of dollars to a Jamaican night nurse | 给牙买加夜班护士几千块 |
| [09:03] | to have you grow up and treat me this way! | 不是为了让你长大了这样对我 |
| [09:06] | Aah! I touched it! | 我碰了 |
| [09:11] | Ooh, what’s this stuff? | 这些是什么 |
| [09:13] | I don’t know. It’s not mine. | 不知道 不是我的 |
| [09:15] | It says “Oliver’s stuff.” | 这上面写着奥利弗的东西 |
| [09:18] | Oh, yeah. | 是 |
| [09:19] | A “Harry Potter” Wand. | 哈利·波特魔法杖 |
| [09:20] | – Is this yours? – No. | -是你的吗 -不是 |
| [09:23] | It…says “Oliver’s wand.” | 这上面写着奥利弗的魔法杖 |
| [09:25] | My “Harry Potter” Phase | 我的哈利·波特阶段 |
| [09:26] | overlapped with my label-making phase. | 和贴标签阶段正好重合了 |
| [09:28] | I used to be kind of a nerd. | 我以前是个呆子 |
| [09:30] | That’s so cute. | 太可爱了 |
| [09:32] | You don’t think it’s stupid? | 你不觉得很傻吗 |
| [09:33] | No, if it’s something you liked, | 不 如果是你喜欢的 |
| [09:34] | why would I think it’s stupid? | 我为什么会觉得傻 |
| [09:37] | Wait right here. I want to show you something. | 等着 我给你看样东西 |
| [09:41] | “The label maker that shall not be named.” | 不应该被命名的标签机 |
| [09:43] | Stop looking in there! | 别再翻了 |
| [09:50] | Just finishing up, Mom! I’ll be done in a minute! | 在润色 妈 马上就好了 |
| [09:53] | Don’t worry, it’s just us. | 别担心 是我们 |
| [09:55] | We want to play with you. | 我们想和你一起玩 |
| [09:56] | I can’t. I gotta finish | 不行 我必须完成 |
| [09:58] | my history presentation on the 1980s. | 历史作业 1980年代的简介演讲 |
| [10:00] | If she finds out I didn’t do it, | 如果她发现我没做 |
| [10:01] | I’m gonna get the Mom Speech. | 我又得听妈妈说教 |
| [10:02] | Oh, yeah. Those Mom speeches are the worst. | 对 妈妈说教最差劲了 |
| [10:05] | “You’re so unfocused. | 你一点也不专心 |
| [10:06] | You never live up to your potential.” | 你从来就没有发挥你的潜力 |
| [10:08] | “Stop giving your ponies Viking funerals in the bathtub. | 别再在浴缸给你的小马举行维京葬礼 |
| [10:12] | You’re gonna burn the whole house down.” | 你会把房子烧掉的 |
| [10:13] | Good one. | 说得好 |
| [10:14] | I’m sure she’s on her way to check on me right now. | 我相信她马上会来看我的作业 |
| [10:16] | Well, what if I were to tell you | 如果我告诉你 |
| [10:18] | that Mom is unavoidably detained? | 妈妈非自愿被扣留了呢 |
| [10:20] | Then I would ask you what those last two words mean. | 然后我会问你最后两个词是什么意思 |
| [10:23] | We locked both our moms in the basement | 我们把妈妈关在了地下室 |
| [10:24] | until they become friends. | 直到她们成为朋友 |
| [10:26] | How about this — | 不如这样 |
| [10:27] | we’ll help you do your presentation, | 我们帮你做作业 |
| [10:29] | you’ll play with us after, | 你之后和我们玩 |
| [10:30] | and you won’t get a Mom Speech. | 你不用听妈妈说教 |
| [10:32] | – Everybody wins. – Cool! | -皆大欢喜 -很好 |
| [10:35] | Wait, won’t my teacher be able to tell | 慢着 我的老师不会发现 |
| [10:37] | the project was done by a couple of fourth graders? | 作业是两个四年级学生做的吗 |
| [10:40] | Mm, my gut says she won’t know the difference. | 我直觉认为她不会发现 |
| [10:46] | You want to help Brad and I put boxes in the attic? | 你要帮我和布莱德把箱子放上阁楼吗 |
| [10:48] | I’m doing all the heavy lifting. | 重活都是我做的 |
| [10:50] | I’m getting worried about you. | 我开始担心你了 |
| [10:52] | I’m just having fun. | 我只是好玩 |
| [10:55] | Where’s my ballet stuff? | 我的芭蕾的东西呢 |
| [10:56] | Why do you ask? | 为什么问 |
| [10:57] | I’m not talking to him. | 我不要跟他说话 |
| [10:59] | You know, you might be right, Dad. | 爸 你可能是对的 |
| [11:01] | I think Brie’s cool with whatever I’m into, | 我想布里对我喜欢的东西没意见 |
| [11:02] | so I thought I’d show her my ballet gear. | 我想给她看我的芭蕾装备 |
| [11:04] | You’re really good. I’m sure she’ll be impressed. | 你很厉害 她会佩服你的 |
| [11:06] | Yeah, just like how Mom must’ve been impressed | 就像妈妈佩服你 |
| [11:07] | with you being a ventriloquist. | 是腹语表演者一样 |
| [11:09] | Right. | 对 |
| [11:10] | She wasn’t impressed? | 她没觉得你厉害 |
| [11:13] | You never told her. | 你根本没告诉过她 |
| [11:14] | Of course not! You know your mom. | 当然没有 你了解你妈 |
| [11:16] | She’d think it was stupid! | 她会觉得很傻 |
| [11:17] | That’s what I said, and you said I was being silly! | 我也是这样说的 你说我很傻 |
| [11:19] | Hypocrite! You’re telling me to be honest, | 伪君子 你让我说实话 |
| [11:21] | and you never told Mom about this little weirdo? | 你却从来没告诉妈妈这个怪胎 |
| [11:23] | I’m never telling Brie. | 我永远不会告诉布里 |
| [11:33] | Ugh, what are you doing? | 你做什么 |
| [11:35] | It’s called ice cream. | 这个叫冰淇淋 |
| [11:36] | You combine cream and sugar | 把奶油和糖放在一起 |
| [11:38] | and make it cold. | 然后冷冰 |
| [11:40] | It brings you happiness… | 会带给你快乐 |
| [11:43] | which is an emotion where you feel good. | 这是一种能让你感觉很好的情绪 |
| [11:44] | I know what ice cream is. | 我知道什么是冰淇淋 |
| [11:45] | I love ice cream. | 我爱冰淇淋 |
| [11:46] | I used to eat it 15 years ago | 15年前我吃过 |
| [11:48] | before I went on a strict carrot soup diet. | 然后我就严格遵守胡萝卜汤减肥饮食 |
| [11:50] | Hold on. | 慢着 |
| [11:52] | You only eat carrot soup? | 你只吃胡萝卜汤 |
| [11:53] | Once a year on my birthday, | 每年我生日时 |
| [11:55] | I treat myself to a frozen grape. | 我让自己吃一颗冻葡萄 |
| [11:58] | If I’m gonna cheat, though, it’s gonna be with alcohol. | 如果我要破戒 一定要有酒精 |
| [12:00] | Well, here. | 给 |
| [12:02] | I also found this in the freezer. | 我还在冰箱找到这个 |
| [12:04] | Mmm, Mama likes. | 老娘喜欢 |
| [12:07] | It’s still vodka. | 还是伏特加 |
| [12:09] | Hasn’t been replaced with water. | 没有换成水 |
| [12:11] | Guess Taylor hasn’t started drinking yet. | 看来泰勒还没开始喝酒 |
| [12:13] | Nerd. | 呆子 |
| [12:20] | And now I’m gonna miss my appointment. | 我会错过预约 |
| [12:22] | Can’t you just reschedule the stupid thing? | 你就不能重新安排这件破事吗 |
| [12:24] | No. It took me weeks to get it. | 不 我花了几周才约到 |
| [12:27] | It’s a…medical procedure. | 医学手术 |
| [12:30] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [12:32] | And if I don’t get there today, | 如果我今天不去 |
| [12:34] | I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me. | 我不知道我会怎么样 |
| [12:38] | I didn’t realize it was so serious. | 我不知道这么严重 |
| [12:40] | Well, it is. | 是的 |
| [12:44] | Don’t do it. Don’t let her in. | 别这样 别让她进来 |
| [12:46] | Think about something else. | 想想别的 |
| [12:48] | Think about baseball. | 想想棒球 |
| [12:51] | Okay. | 好 |
| [12:53] | – Let’s get you out of here. – What? | -我要让你出去 -什么 |
| [12:55] | Damn it. Doesn’t work for Greg, either. | 见鬼 对格雷格这样想也没用 |
| [13:08] | Everything in this house is crap except this door. | 除了这扇门 这家的东西全是破烂 |
| [13:17] | Hammer. | 锤子 |
| [13:37] | Katie, I’m stuck! | 凯蒂 我卡住了 |
| [13:39] | I know! | 我知道 |
| [13:40] | Get me out of here! | 把我拉出去 |
| [13:43] | Oh, hey, dog. | 喂 狗 |
| [13:44] | Come over here. | 过来 |
| [13:46] | Listen, go for help. | 听着 去找人帮忙 |
| [13:48] | Go for help! | 找人帮忙 |
| [13:50] | Oh, God, you’re as stupid as your whole family. | 天啊 你和你的家人一样傻 |
| [14:01] | I got you out! | 我把你弄出去了 |
| [14:02] | No, you didn’t! | 你没有 |
| [14:04] | We’re still in here! | 我们还在这里 |
| [14:05] | I’m sorry, Chloe. | 对不起 克洛伊 |
| [14:06] | You know, we are gonna get you another appointment. | 我们再帮你预约 |
| [14:09] | He’s a specialist. | 他是专家 |
| [14:11] | Do you know how hard it is to see him? | 你知道见他有多难吗 |
| [14:13] | – It’s too late. – Don’t give up. | -太迟了 -别放弃 |
| [14:15] | Don’t ever give up. | 永远不要放弃 |
| [14:17] | You are gonna beat this. | 你能战胜疾病 |
| [14:19] | What am I supposed to do? | 我应该怎么办 |
| [14:21] | I need to see Dr. Henry today! | 我今天要去亨利医生那里 |
| [14:24] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [14:26] | Dr. Henry? | 亨利医生 |
| [14:27] | -西港肉毒杆菌医生 -对 | |
| [14:30] | That is your important medical procedure? | 这就是你的重要医学手术 |
| [14:32] | Botox?! | 肉毒杆菌 |
| [14:34] | Yeah! | 对 |
| [14:35] | You made me feel sorry for you. | 你让我为你难过 |
| [14:37] | For you! | 为了你 |
| [14:39] | I touched your shoulder. | 我碰了你的肩膀 |
| [14:41] | I thought you had a legitimate medical condition, Chloe. | 我以为你得了真正的疾病 克洛伊 |
| [14:44] | I do! Age is a condition! | 我得了 衰老就是病 |
| [14:47] | It kills people. | 会让人没命 |
| [14:48] | You are the epitome | 你就是西港 |
| [14:50] | of what is wrong with women in this town. | 所有女人毛病的缩影 |
| [14:52] | You spend all your time and money on shallow garbage. | 你把所有的时间与金钱都花在肤浅的垃圾上 |
| [14:55] | I don’t have to sit here and take this. | 我不必坐在这里听你教训 |
| [15:09] | This isn’t an ordinary appointment for Botox, | 这不是普通的肉毒杆菌预约 |
| [15:12] | – just so you know. – Why? | -你要知道 -为什么 |
| [15:14] | Because it has to be performed by an exorcist? | 因为必须由驱魔人执行吗 |
| [15:16] | No. | 不 |
| [15:17] | – Stan’s getting married. – Who? | -斯坦要结婚了 -谁 |
| [15:19] | Stan. My ex-husband. | 斯坦 我的前夫 |
| [15:21] | To a 30-year-old. | 娶一个30岁的 |
| [15:23] | And I have to go to the wedding. | 我必须参加婚礼 |
| [15:24] | Why on Earth would you go? | 你为什么要去 |
| [15:26] | For Penny’s sake. | 为了佩妮 |
| [15:28] | And to prove that I’m the totally cool ex-wife | 证明我是很酷的前妻 |
| [15:30] | who’s fine with it. | 没有意见 |
| [15:31] | And who looks fantastic. | 而且很漂亮的前妻 |
| [15:33] | – Chloe… – So I’ve been starving myself. | -克洛伊 -所以我一直在饿肚子 |
| [15:35] | I haven’t had a sweet for years. | 我几年没吃甜点 |
| [15:38] | And what good has it done me? | 有什么作用 |
| [15:39] | I can’t even squeeze through a basement window! | 我都出不去地下室的窗户 |
| [15:42] | I mean, how can I compete with a 30-year-old?! | 我怎么和30岁的女人比 |
| [15:45] | This is just all so humiliating! | 太丢人了 |
| [15:48] | I have felt bad for you twice in one day. | 我一天内为你难过了两次 |
| [15:50] | It is exhausting. | 太累了 |
| [15:53] | Come on. | 来吧 |
| [15:55] | Is this a typical snack they serve in Ravenclaw? | 这是拉文克劳学院的代表性点心吗 |
| [15:57] | First of all, how dare you. | 首先 你好大的胆子 |
| [15:59] | I was House Gryffindor. | 我是格兰芬多学院的 |
| [16:00] | And second, this — | 第二 这个 |
| [16:01] | Oliver, can you come into my office for a second? | 奥利弗 你能来我办公室一下吗 |
| [16:04] | – I’m good! – Okay! | -不用 -好 |
| [16:06] | We’ll just come out there to you! | 我们就出来找你 |
| [16:09] | No, I’m on my way! I’m on my way! | 不 我马上来 |
| [16:13] | What do you want? | 你想做什么 |
| [16:14] | I thought about it, and you’re right. | 我想过了 你是对的 |
| [16:15] | I am a hypocrite. | 我太虚伪 |
| [16:16] | I was telling you to do something I couldn’t do myself. | 我让你去做我自己做不到的事 |
| [16:18] | So you know what? I’m gonna do it. | 知道吗 我要去做 |
| [16:21] | I’m gonna tell your mom about me and Brad | 我要告诉你妈妈我和布莱德的事 |
| [16:23] | to prove to you it’s the right thing to do. | 向你证明这样做是对的 |
| [16:24] | Stop! I can’t let Brie know | 停下 我不能让布里知道 |
| [16:25] | my dad’s best friend is a ventriloquist dummy. | 我爸最好的朋友是腹语木偶 |
| [16:28] | Also, don’t mention you’re a teacher. | 还有 别说你是老师 |
| [16:37] | We are not going to call it quits yet. | 我们还不能放弃 |
| [16:40] | We are not gonna let that window | 我们不会让那扇窗户 |
| [16:43] | or that door | 或那扇门 |
| [16:44] | or this doorknob stop us. | 或这个门把手阻止我们 |
| [16:46] | Your ex-husband dumping you | 你前夫甩了你 |
| [16:47] | to marry a younger woman is terrible — | 娶年轻妹子简直太可恶 |
| [16:50] | even more terrible than you are. | 比你来可恶 |
| [16:52] | That’s why I’m going to help you get out of here | 所以我会帮你离开这里 |
| [16:54] | so you can get a faceful of poison | 你能去打一脸毒药 |
| [16:55] | and show Stan that you may not be a 30-year-old, | 让斯坦看到虽说你不是30岁 |
| [16:58] | but by God, you’re gonna have the forehead of a 30-year-old. | 但是你将有30岁的前额 |
| [17:01] | Yes! | 对 |
| [17:04] | You and me, | 你和我 |
| [17:05] | we are going to run at that door at the same time. | 我们同时跑向那扇门 |
| [17:07] | We are gonna “Thelma & Louise” That door down. | 我们要像末路狂花一样冲过去 |
| [17:12] | One…two… thr– | 一 二 三 |
| [17:18] | Hooray! | 万岁 |
| [17:20] | We did it! | 我们做到了 |
| [17:26] | Katie, I have someone to introduce you to. | 凯蒂 我要给你介绍一个人 |
| [17:29] | Nice to finally meet you, Katie. | 很高兴终于见到你了 凯蒂 |
| [17:33] | What are you doing? | 你做什么 |
| [17:35] | Why aren’t you moving your mouth? | 你的嘴巴为什么没动 |
| [17:36] | My name is Greg Otto, | 我是格雷格·奥图 |
| [17:38] | and I am a ventriloquist. | 我是腹语表演者 |
| [17:41] | Good thing you didn’t show me that when we were dating… | 好在我们约会时你没给我看这个 |
| [17:42] | …because I would have never married you. | 否则我永远不会嫁给你 |
| [17:44] | But I’m stuck now | 但现在我不能脱身了 |
| [17:47] | because we have kids. | 因为我们有孩子 |
| [17:49] | Gotta go. | 得走了 |
| [17:53] | Sad. | 可怜 |
| [17:56] | That was rough. | 太难受了 |
| [17:58] | Yeah… | 是的 |
| [18:00] | Oliver, | 奥利弗 |
| [18:02] | I’d hold off telling Brie about your ballet. | 我建议不要告诉布里你跳芭蕾的事 |
| [18:04] | At the very least, wait until you’re married | 至少 也要等到你们结婚了 |
| [18:06] | and have three kids before you even think | 有了三个孩子 你再考虑 |
| [18:07] | – about revisiting this. – So, hide who I am? | -这件事 -隐藏我是谁 |
| [18:09] | With everything you’ve got. | 想尽一切办法 |
| [18:11] | Thanks for the lesson, Dad. | 谢谢你上的这一课 爸 |
| [18:20] | I’ll call you an Uber and watch Penny. | 我给你叫车 帮你照看佩妮 |
| [18:24] | Wait. | 慢着 |
| [18:25] | No Uber. Come on! | 不叫车 来 |
| [18:27] | W-What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [18:28] | I-I can still make my appointment! | 我还可以赶上预约 |
| [18:37] | Forget the appointment. | 别管预约 |
| [18:38] | You need to make yourself happy. | 你要让自己快乐 |
| [18:40] | So instead of Botox, | 不要打肉毒杆菌 |
| [18:41] | have what you really need to feel good. | 选择真正让你快乐的东西 |
| [18:43] | An ice cream cone. | 冰淇淋 |
| [18:46] | I’m feeling tempted. | 我被诱惑了 |
| [18:47] | I gotta call my sponsor. | 我要打电话给监督人 |
| [18:50] | Maria, I’m feeling kind of snacky. | 玛丽亚 我想吃点心 |
| [18:54] | No. Stop wasting your happiness | -不 -不要浪费你的快乐 |
| [18:56] | caring what other people think. | 在乎别人的想法 |
| [19:07] | Thank you so much, Katie. | 太感谢你了 凯蒂 |
| [19:09] | Um, this flavor is really interesting. | 这个味道真有趣 |
| [19:11] | It tastes like… | 吃起来像 |
| [19:14] | not carrot. | 不是胡萝卜 |
| [19:17] | It’s the best thing in the world. | 这是世界上最好的东西 |
| [19:22] | And I’m done. | 可以了 |
| [19:25] | If you weren’t here, I’d totally five-second-rule that. | 如果你不在这里 我会在五秒内捡起来吃掉 |
| [19:27] | No. | 不 |
| [19:28] | Anna-Kat! Penny! | 安娜凯特 佩妮 |
| [19:34] | Ice cream! Ice cream! | 冰淇淋 |
| [19:38] | That’s for locking us in the basement. | 这是因为你们把我们锁在地下室 |
| [19:39] | You’re grounded for a week. | 禁足你一周 |
| [19:41] | And so are you. But after that, | 你也一样 但之后 |
| [19:43] | you can be school-friends and home-friends | 你们可以在学校和家里做朋友 |
| [19:45] | whenever you want. | 随时都行 |
| [19:46] | So are you two friends now? | 你们两个是朋友吗 |
| [19:48] | – Ugh, no way! – Oh, hell no! Ugh. | -不可能 -当然不是 |
| [19:49] | Maybe at-home friends? | 也许只在家做朋友 |
| [19:52] | Truce until these things go to college. | 在她们上大学前休战 |
| [19:55] | Sure. | 好 |
| [19:59] | But then afterwards, I’m gonna run you over with my car. | 之后我会开车撞你 |
| [20:01] | You’re gonna have a tough time doing that | 你可能不行 |
| [20:02] | because I’m going to kill you in your sleep. | 因为我会趁你睡着时杀了你 |
| [20:04] | All right. | 好 |
| [20:10] | You guys did a good job. | 你们做得很好 |
| [20:12] | Taylor, I found your assignment sheet under your bed. | 泰勒 我在你的床下找到了作业单 |
| [20:15] | So? | 怎么了 |
| [20:16] | This isn’t a project on the 1980s. | 这不是1980年代的作业 |
| [20:19] | It’s a project on “1984.” | 而是1984的作业 |
| [20:21] | Fine, I’ll just delete the stuff from 1985 or whatever. | 好 我删掉1985年以后的东西 |
| [20:23] | Not the year 1984, the book! | 不是1984年 是那本书 |
| [20:26] | George Orwell’s “1984.” | 乔治·奥威尔的小说《1984》 |
| [20:29] | And it’s not for History –it’s for English. | 这不是历史作业 是英语课作业 |
| [20:31] | What am I gonna do? I have to hand this in tomorrow! | 我怎么办 明天就得交 |
| [20:34] | It’s not due tomorrow. | 不是明天交 |
| [20:35] | It’s due next month. | 是下个月交 |
| [20:36] | Well, at least my lack of detail got me an extra month. | 至少我不注意细节让我多了一个月时间 |
| [20:40] | I don’t believe this. | 真不敢相信 |
| [20:42] | I helped you do this entire project for nothing. | 我白白帮你做了作业 |
| [20:45] | Maybe Mom’s right to give you these speeches. | 也许妈妈给你那些说教是对的 |
| [20:47] | And since she’s not here right now, | 既然她现在不在 |
| [20:49] | I’m gonna give you one. | 我要教训你 |
| [20:50] | I’m not gonna stand here and — | 我不会站在这里 |
| [20:52] | Sit down! | 坐下 |
| [20:53] | This is a wake-up call. | 这是警钟 |
| [20:56] | You’ve got to get organized, Taylor, | 你得专心 泰勒 |
| [20:58] | and not just about this — | 不只是这个 |
| [20:59] | about every detail in your life. | 而是你生活中的每个细节 |
| [21:02] | You’ve got so much potential. | 你那么有潜力 |
| [21:04] | And if you just apply it, you could surprise everyone. | 如果你努力 你会让所有人惊讶 |
| [21:08] | Most of all yourself. | 主要是你自己 |
| [21:10] | I’m sorry. I’ll try harder. | 对不起 我会更努力 |
| [21:12] | I want to make you proud. | 我想让你骄傲 |
| [21:14] | That’s my girl. | 我的好姑娘 |