时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | Here you go. | 好了 |
[00:03] | Your favorite PJs are ready | 你最爱的睡衣准备好了 |
[00:05] | – for your first sleepover! – What? | -可以去同学家过夜了 -什么 |
[00:07] | I told you I never want to go on a sleepover. | 我跟你说过我永远不要去同学家里过夜 |
[00:09] | Which is why I’m telling you at the last second! | 所以我在最后一刻才告诉你 |
[00:11] | I didn’t want to hear you complain all week. | 我不想听你抱怨一周 |
[00:13] | What if they make me sleep next to an outlet | 如果她们让我睡在插座旁边 |
[00:15] | and I roll over and my pinky goes in and I get electrocuted? | 我一翻身 小指插进去被电死了 |
[00:18] | Then you’re crying, “Why? Why did I make my baby go?” | 那你就会哭 为什么 我为什么让我的宝贝去 |
[00:22] | You are going. | 你要去 |
[00:23] | You are too old to keep dodging sleepovers. | 你已经大到不能躲过去同学家过夜了 |
[00:27] | “She was so little!” | 她曾经那么小 |
[00:30] | – Still reading exams? – Yep, | -还在看考卷吗 -对 |
[00:32] | I have to get through these 50 essays this weekend. | 这周末我得改完这50份文章 |
[00:35] | It’s exciting to see how students do under pressure. | 能看到学生们在压力下的表现很刺激 |
[00:37] | Some struggle, but others soar! | 有些人很挣扎 但有些人会爆发 |
[00:38] | That’s probably because you’re such a great teacher, | 那可能因为你是优秀的老师 |
[00:41] | mentor and father. | 导师和父亲 |
[00:43] | Whatever it is, I agree with Mom. | 无论是什么事 我同意你妈妈的话 |
[00:45] | Please, Daddy! | 求你了 爸爸 |
[00:46] | Mama wants me to go to a sleepover! | 妈妈要我去同学家过夜 |
[00:48] | Anna-Kat, that’s not true. | 安娜凯特 这不对 |
[00:49] | I am forcing you to go to a sleepover. | 我在强迫你去同学家过夜 |
[00:52] | You know Oliver only cares about himself, | 你知道奥利弗只管自己 |
[00:54] | so if you alienate me, | 所以如果你和我疏远了 |
[00:56] | all you’ll be left with is Taylor to take care of you. | 只剩下让泰勒照顾你 |
[00:59] | Not smart, Mama. | 不明智 妈妈 |
[01:03] | Hi! | 你们好 |
[01:05] | Ugh, trade. | 换一下 |
[01:09] | Hey, Violet. | 维奥莱特 |
[01:11] | What happened to your hair? | 你的头发怎么了 |
[01:13] | I can’t afford to be blonde anymore. | 我没钱做金发女了 |
[01:15] | Pretty soon I’ll be buying second-hand clothes | 很快我就要从旧货甩卖上买这样的 |
[01:17] | from garage sales like…this. | 二手衣服 你这样的 |
[01:20] | I’ll have you know | 我跟你说 |
[01:21] | I won this at Dave & Buster’s. | 这是我在游戏餐厅赢得 |
[01:23] | 700 tickets. | 700张票 |
[01:25] | You know, I love Violet so much, but being a mom is so hard. | 我非常爱维奥莱特 但当妈太难了 |
[01:29] | Why didn’t anyone warn me? | 为什么没人警告我 |
[01:30] | You can hear me screaming at my kids from your house | 你可以在家听到我吼孩子 |
[01:32] | ten times a day. Isn’t that warning enough? | 一天十次 这还不够警告吗 |
[01:36] | Can I help you find something? | 我能帮你找东西吗 |
[01:38] | You know it’s just me over there | 你知道只有我 |
[01:39] | in that giant house all by myself. | 一个人在那栋大房子里 |
[01:41] | I can’t afford a nanny, | 我请不起保姆 |
[01:42] | Pilates is too expensive | 普拉提太贵了 |
[01:44] | so now I’m breastfeeding to lose weight. | 所以我喂母乳减肥 |
[01:46] | I ballooned up to a size four. | 我都肿成穿四号衣服了 |
[01:49] | Katie, your screaming pillow. | 凯蒂 你的尖叫枕头 |
[01:51] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
[01:56] | See, you have Greg to help you | 看 你有格雷格帮你 |
[01:58] | with everything, especially the kids. | 做任何事 尤其是孩子的事 |
[02:00] | Who’s got the sweetest nosey on your face-face? | 谁脸脸上的鼻鼻最漂漂啊 |
[02:04] | – You do! – And on the plus side, | -是你 -好的一面 |
[02:06] | his baby talk doubles as birth control. | 他的婴儿语和避孕措施一样加倍了 |
[02:11] | Viv, I know you’re a little broke, | 维芙 我知道你没钱 |
[02:12] | but you can’t steal groceries from my house. | 但你不能在我家偷日用品 |
[02:14] | Hilarious, I love it! | 好笑 我喜欢 |
[02:17] | I don’t know, Katie. | 我不知道 凯蒂 |
[02:18] | I just…feel like I can’t do this alone anymore. | 我只是觉得我没办法一个人做到 |
[02:23] | Do you guys think that you could watch Violet for me tonight? | 你们能帮我今晚照顾维奥莱特吗 |
[02:26] | We’d love to! | 我们很愿意 |
[02:27] | Why are we watching the baby tonight? | 为什么要我们照顾 |
[02:28] | I am headed to Mario’s down by the train station | 我要去火车站旁边的酒吧 |
[02:31] | where all the divorced investment bankers go after work. | 所有离婚投资银行家在下班后都去那里 |
[02:34] | I think I can snag one | 我想我可以钓一个 |
[02:35] | if I get there before all the tramps take the good seats. | 只要在那些荡妇抢走所有好座位之前 |
[02:38] | What are the good seats? | 什么是好座位 |
[02:40] | The barstools at the end. | 最外面的酒吧凳 |
[02:42] | That way I can do this… | 我可以这样做 |
[02:46] | …without hitting anybody. | 而不会踢到任何人 |
[03:02] | Are those my earrings? | 这是我的耳环吗 |
[03:04] | These are so nice! | 它们真漂亮 |
[03:06] | – Can I borrow them? – No. | -可以借我吗 -不行 |
[03:07] | I wore them to a business dinner but saved the receipt. | 我戴着参加了商业晚宴 留下了收据 |
[03:10] | – I’m returning them. – No wonder I like them more | -我会退回去 -难怪我更喜欢它们 |
[03:12] | than the rest of your trash — Treasures! | 不喜欢你其他的垃圾 宝藏 |
[03:14] | Off now. | 马上取下 |
[03:16] | They’re expensive | 很贵的 |
[03:17] | and if I don’t return them by tomorrow | 如果明天不退回去 |
[03:18] | then I will be stuck with a store credit | 我就会有过期的 |
[03:20] | that expires the day before I find it | 商店抵扣券 然后我会发现 |
[03:22] | in a drawer with the extension cords. | 它和延长电线放在一个抽屉 |
[03:30] | Ugh, news again. | 又有新闻 |
[03:31] | That’s it. I’m deleting this app. | 够了 我要删掉这个应用 |
[03:36] | No. | 不 |
[03:37] | No no no no no no! | 不要 |
[03:39] | Bad dog! Luthor, sit! | 坏狗狗 卢瑟 坐下 |
[03:41] | Now Luthor, reverse swallow. | 卢瑟 吐出来 |
[03:44] | Reverse swallow! | 吐出来 |
[03:47] | Okay, practice run. | 练习一下 |
[03:49] | When the mom says to go to sleep, | 同学妈妈说要睡觉了 |
[03:50] | you take your sleeping bag and put it next to the bathroom | 你拿上睡袋放在卫生间旁边 |
[03:53] | just in case you want to wash your hands a few times. | 以免你想洗几次手 |
[03:55] | Yeah, Mama, if you want me to get covered | 是啊 妈妈 如果你希望爆水管时 |
[03:57] | in sewer water when a pipe bursts. | 我被下水道的水淹没 |
[04:00] | – That is not gonna — – Mama, I dunno. | -不可能的 -妈妈 我不知道 |
[04:02] | This is all happening so fast, Mama. | 这一切发生的太快了 妈妈 |
[04:05] | You don’t have to keep saying “Mama.” | 你不必一直叫妈妈 |
[04:06] | I know who you’re talking to. | 我知道你在和谁说话 |
[04:07] | If you have any problems, call us. | 你有任何问题 打电话 |
[04:09] | No matter how late. | 不管多晚 |
[04:11] | Even if you just want to talk. | 哪怕你只想聊天 |
[04:12] | A word, Greg? | 说句话 格雷格 |
[04:16] | As the years go on, coming into this room alone with you | 随着年月过去 和你单独进这间房 |
[04:18] | has become more scary than sexy. | 变得更可怕而不是性感 |
[04:20] | Why are you coddling her? | 你为什么溺爱她 |
[04:22] | She needs a push right now, not a hug. | 现在她需要推动 而不是拥抱 |
[04:24] | She’s nervous. She’s our baby — | 她紧张 她是我们的宝贝 |
[04:26] | She is turning 10! | 她快十岁了 |
[04:28] | And this is our opportunity to help her grow up a little. | 这是我们帮助她成长的机会 |
[04:32] | I need this. | 我需要这个 |
[04:33] | I am getting “Mama”‘d to death in there. | 我当妈当得快死了 |
[04:35] | What’s your hurry to make her grow up? | 你为什么急着让她长大 |
[04:37] | – She’s our last one. – Exactly. | -她是我们最小的孩子 -正是 |
[04:38] | We’re on the verge of getting our lives back. | 我们就快要重拾我们的生活了 |
[04:41] | Not if we take action. | 除非我们行动 |
[04:42] | Let’s have another baby. | 我们再生个孩子 |
[04:46] | Can you get my screaming pillow? | 你能把我的尖叫枕头拿来吗 |
[04:48] | I’m sad our kids are getting big. | 孩子们长大了我难过 |
[04:50] | I miss reading them books, | 我想念给他们读书 |
[04:52] | they reach for your hand, | 他们抓住我的手 |
[04:54] | I miss the way they mispronounce words. | 我想念他们发错音 |
[04:56] | Taylor still does it, but it’s not cute. | 泰勒还会这样 但并不可爱 |
[04:57] | It’s more worrisome. | 令人担心 |
[04:59] | Playing with Viv’s baby today | 今天和维芙的宝宝玩 |
[05:00] | made me want to start all over again. | 让我想再来一次 |
[05:02] | Well then I wish you and your second wife the very best. | 那我祝你和你第二任老婆一切都好 |
[05:09] | I can’t go to the sleepover, Mama. | 我不能在同学家过夜 妈妈 |
[05:11] | I think I’m getting my period. | 我觉得我的月经来了 |
[05:13] | – No, you’re not. – I’m telling you. | -你没有 -我跟你说 |
[05:15] | I can feel my uterine wall loosening. | 我能感觉我的子宫壁脱落了 |
[05:16] | Stop Googling stuff and go pack your bag! | 别用谷歌查东西了 去收拾行李 |
[05:26] | Can I ask you a favor? | 能帮我一个忙吗 |
[05:27] | – I need — – Not my problem. | -我需要… -不是我的问题 |
[05:29] | This is serious. | 很严重 |
[05:30] | Then it’s seriously not my problem. | 那就真的不是我的问题 |
[05:32] | That’s good stuff. | 说得好 |
[05:34] | I turned around and Luthor ate Mom’s expensive earrings. | 我一转身 卢瑟吞了妈妈的贵耳环 |
[05:38] | You’re in so much trouble. | 你的麻烦大了 |
[05:39] | I read online it can take a dog a month | 我在网上看到 有时候要一个月 |
[05:41] | to pass something like this. | 狗才能排出这种东西 |
[05:42] | But I need them by tomorrow. | 但我明天就要耳环 |
[05:43] | – What do I do? Oh, – I know. | -我怎么办 -我知道了 |
[05:45] | Leave me out of it. | 别烦我 |
[05:47] | I am on fire. | 说得太好了 |
[05:49] | You’re always calling me the dumb one. | 你总是说我是笨蛋 |
[05:50] | So I’m dumb. Help me! | 我是笨蛋 帮我 |
[05:52] | All right, all right, I’ll help you. | 好的 我会帮你 |
[05:54] | Don’t forget to wear gloves. | 别忘了戴手套 |
[05:57] | Three for three! | 金句三连发 |
[06:04] | Viv, did you steal my car keys so I’d come over? | 维芙 你偷了我的车钥匙让我过来吗 |
[06:08] | No. | 没有 |
[06:11] | Yes. | 是的 |
[06:12] | But, hey, | 但是 |
[06:13] | would you just stay and talk to me for, like, | 你能留下和我聊聊吗 |
[06:15] | ten minutes about anything adult? | 十分钟聊聊成人的事 |
[06:17] | Look, just pick a topic. | 随便挑个话题 |
[06:18] | Is this my magazine? | 这是我的杂志吗 |
[06:20] | Did you take this from my bathroom? | 你从我家厕所拿走的吗 |
[06:22] | I left my phone in the bedroom | 我把手机落在卧室里 |
[06:23] | and had to read the shampoo bottle like an animal! | 我得像动物一样看洗发水瓶子上的文字 |
[06:26] | – Hi, Viv. – Alan?! | -维芙 -艾伦 |
[06:29] | How the hell did you get in here? | 你怎么进来的 |
[06:31] | I opened the door with the light of my soul. | 我用灵魂之光打开了门 |
[06:33] | And my key — I still have my key, and it works. | 还有我的钥匙 钥匙还在 还管用 |
[06:36] | This isn’t your home anymore, Alan. | 这不再是你的家了 艾伦 |
[06:38] | You and Viv are divorced. She kicked you out a year ago. | 你和维芙离婚了 她一年前把你赶出去了 |
[06:41] | I know, and I deserved that. | 我知道 我活该 |
[06:42] | And in that time, I’ve been in an ashram in India. | 我一直在印度的修行处 |
[06:45] | I’ve been meditating. | 我一直在冥想 |
[06:46] | I’ve been finding myself, reading other people’s auras. | 我一直在寻找自我 看其他人的灵光 |
[06:49] | Yours, by the way, is very cloudy. | 你的乌云密布 |
[06:51] | That’s not good. | 这可不好 |
[06:52] | You might want to have that looked at. | 你最好去检查一下 |
[06:54] | What do you want, Alan? | 你想怎样 艾伦 |
[06:56] | Listen, Viv, I wasn’t the greatest husband. | 维芙 我不是最好的老公 |
[06:58] | But I want us to have a fresh start. | 但我希望我们能重新开始 |
[07:00] | And I realize you are the most important thing, | 我意识到你是最重要的 |
[07:03] | and if you take me back this time, | 如果这次你再接受我 |
[07:05] | I will give you everything you deserve — | 我会给你所有你应得的东西 |
[07:07] | champagne, travel… | 香槟 旅行 |
[07:09] | I will teach you to levitate. | 我会教你漂浮术 |
[07:14] | Did you see that? It’s very subtle. | 看到了吗 我说得很隐晦 |
[07:15] | I really would like to believe that you’ve changed. | 我真的想相信你变了 |
[07:19] | Let me show you that I’ve changed. | 让我让你看到我变了 |
[07:21] | If you take me back, I’ll make sure your energy is pure | 如果你接受我 我会确保你的能量是纯净的 |
[07:25] | and your sandals are Prada. | 你的凉鞋是普拉达的 |
[07:28] | Nice try, Alan, but Viv doesn’t need you anymore. | 想得美 艾伦 但维芙不再需要你了 |
[07:32] | She is a strong, independent woman — | 她是坚强独立的女性 |
[07:35] | – Um, actually — – No, Viv. | -其实 -不 维芙 |
[07:37] | – Um, actually, again. – Viv! | -再次其实 -维芙 |
[07:38] | – Katie. – You do not need a man to make you happy. | -凯蒂 -你不需要男人让你开心 |
[07:41] | Viv, it’s just us this time — you and me. | 维芙 这次只有我们 你和我 |
[07:45] | A-All my children are in prep school, | 我的所有孩子都去读预科了 |
[07:47] | so there’ll be no kids to come between us. | 我们之间不会再有孩子 |
[07:51] | Whose baby is that? | 这是谁的宝宝 |
[07:52] | Katie’s! | 凯蒂的 |
[07:54] | Congratulations, Katie. | 恭喜你 凯蒂 |
[07:56] | “Namaste.” | 合十礼 |
[07:57] | That’s a really neat phrase I learned. | 我学会的非常好的短语 |
[07:59] | It means “Amazeballs.” | 意思是太好了 |
[08:04] | Everything’s gonna be just like it was only better. | 一切都会和以前一样 只是更好 |
[08:07] | Oh. I’m getting so healthy right now, | 我现在非常健康 |
[08:09] | I’m practically peeing essential oils. | 我尿的都是精油 |
[08:11] | And you will, too. | 你也会的 |
[08:13] | I can’t wait. | 迫不及待 |
[08:14] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go fill our toilet | 我先失陪 我要去给咱家马桶 |
[08:16] | with eucalyptus and ylang-ylang. | 装满桉树和依兰精油 |
[08:20] | My baby? | 我的宝宝 |
[08:22] | I don’t know. It was all I could think of. | 我不知道 我只想到这个 |
[08:24] | She’s your baby, Viv! | 她是你的宝宝 维芙 |
[08:26] | Of course she is! I’m just — | 当然是的 我只是… |
[08:28] | Giving up your baby for a shot with your terrible ex-husband? | 放弃宝宝 和你可怕的前夫再试一次 |
[08:31] | No, not giving her up, | 不 不会放弃她 |
[08:32] | just buying time to see if Alan and I can work it out. | 只是争取时间 看我和艾伦能否和好 |
[08:36] | He’s going to have to know about her. | 他会知道她的事 |
[08:37] | She is not a banjo you can store in my basement. | 她不是你的班卓琴 可以放我家地下室 |
[08:40] | Did I used to own a banjo? | 我以前有班卓琴吗 |
[08:41] | No, it could be anything. It’s a figure of speech! | 不 有可能是任何东西 只是个比喻 |
[08:43] | – Well I don’t understand it. – Viv! | -我不明白 -维芙 |
[08:45] | Katie, please, just watch Violet for the night. | 凯蒂 求你了 照看维奥莱特一晚 |
[08:48] | Then Alan and I will be back together, | 艾伦和我会复合 |
[08:50] | and I promise I will come clean. | 我发誓我会说清楚 |
[08:52] | By then he’ll be so in love with me | 那时他会非常爱我 |
[08:54] | he’ll have to be in love with her. | 他必须爱她 |
[08:55] | – This is a bad idea. – Please? | -这是个坏主意 -求你了 |
[08:58] | Being a single mom is so hard. | 做单亲母亲太难了 |
[09:00] | And I want my blond hair back. | 我想变回金发 |
[09:02] | Brunettes lead sad, miserable lives. | 深色头发会导致伤心悲惨的生活 |
[09:03] | You of all people should understand that. | 你最应该清楚 |
[09:08] | Hey. Why’d you want my old — | 你为什么要我旧的… |
[09:10] | Oh hell no! | 不 |
[09:12] | You had another one?! | 你又生了一个 |
[09:14] | Do they just drop out of you without warning? | 他们没警告就从你身体里出来了 |
[09:16] | It is Viv’s baby. | 这是维芙的宝宝 |
[09:17] | I did not have time to grab a stroller from her. | 我没时间拿她的婴儿车 |
[09:20] | Why would you want to babysit Viv’s baby? | 你为什么要照看维芙的宝宝 |
[09:22] | Alan is back | 艾伦回来了 |
[09:24] | so I’m stuck taking care of little Viv here | 我得照顾小维芙 |
[09:26] | until she can get up the guts to tell Alan she had a baby. | 直到她有勇气告诉艾伦她有孩子了 |
[09:28] | Since when do you do such nice things for people? | 你从什么时候开始为别人做好事了 |
[09:31] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
[09:32] | I’m losing what makes me special. | 我正失去我的特别之处 |
[09:34] | The worst part is having this little angel at our house | 最糟糕的是 家里有这个小天使 |
[09:36] | is making Greg baby crazy. | 让格雷格又想生孩子了 |
[09:38] | And I do not want another baby. | 我不想再生孩子了 |
[09:40] | Sometimes the best cure for wanting a baby | 有时候治要孩子最好的办法 |
[09:42] | is spending time with a baby. | 就是和宝宝待在一起 |
[09:43] | Yeah, it’s true. | 没错 |
[09:45] | Make Greg watch the baby all night. | 让格雷格照顾孩子一整晚 |
[09:46] | See how he likes it then. | 看他那时候还想不想要 |
[09:48] | I always say, if you want to talk someone out of marriage, | 我总是说 如果想劝人不结婚 |
[09:50] | just hang out with my ex-wife. | 让那个人和我前妻聊天就行 |
[09:52] | – What does that have to do with the baby? – I don’t know, | -这和孩子有什么关系 -我不知道 |
[09:55] | I just feel like we don’t talk about me enough. | 我只是觉得我们谈我谈得不够 |
[10:03] | Ready for your sleepover? | 准备好去同学家过夜了 |
[10:06] | It was nice knowing you, boy. | 很高兴认识你 |
[10:08] | You with your shorter life span, and here I am going first. | 你的命不长 而我却要先走了 |
[10:11] | You will be home tomorrow morning. | 你明早就回家了 |
[10:13] | Get in the car. | 上车 |
[10:28] | Here you go, Professor. | 给 教授 |
[10:29] | Katie, I’m working. | 凯蒂 我在工作 |
[10:30] | Not anymore. | 不了 |
[10:32] | Oh, is having a baby sometimes inconvenient? | 有了宝宝有时候不方便吗 |
[10:34] | Good thing she’s not a toddler, | 好在她不是幼童 |
[10:36] | because toddlers do stuff like this. | 因为幼童会这样做 |
[10:52] | You know how you said the dog | 你一直说 |
[10:54] | eating Mom’s earrings wasn’t your problem? | 狗吃了妈的耳环不是你的问题 |
[10:56] | Yeah, that was great. | 是 太棒了 |
[10:57] | And remember those gold cufflinks | 还记得你从斯宾塞那里 |
[10:59] | that you got from Spencer? | 得到的金袖扣吗 |
[11:00] | You mean the ones that he stole | 你是说他在参加 |
[11:01] | off Malcolm Forbes’ corpse at his funeral? | 马尓科姆·福布斯葬礼时 从他尸体上偷的那对 |
[11:04] | Right, those. | 对 就是那对 |
[11:05] | Well, now we have the same problem | 现在我们有同样的问题 |
[11:07] | because Luthor ate them. | 因为卢瑟吃了 |
[11:12] | How’d Luthor get them?! | 卢瑟怎么会吃掉 |
[11:13] | Well, they somehow fell into a treat. | 不知道为什么掉在点心上 |
[11:15] | That I fed him. And then I laughed. | 我喂它吃了 然后我笑了 |
[11:17] | Now grab some gloves and join the party. | 拿上手套一起来 |
[11:25] | I am back from dropping Anna-Kat off. | 我送安娜凯特回来了 |
[11:28] | Where is Violet? | 小维呢 |
[11:30] | She’s napping in my office like an angel. | 她在我办公室像天使一样睡觉 |
[11:33] | – Is she? – Yeah. | -是吗 -是的 |
[11:45] | Why are you putting loose change in the blender? | 你为什么把硬币倒进搅拌机里 |
[11:47] | You need to sharpen the blades every six months. | 每六个月要磨磨刀片 |
[11:49] | You are not staying on top of it. | 你完全不懂 |
[11:51] | I don’t think tha– | 我不觉得 |
[11:53] | You’ll wake the baby! | 你会吵醒宝宝的 |
[11:55] | Oh, is she sleeping?! | 她在睡觉吗 |
[11:57] | I forgot she was even here! | 我忘了她在这 |
[11:58] | We were just talking about her! | 我们刚刚还在说她 |
[12:09] | Why isn’t she crying? | 她为什么没有哭 |
[12:10] | She’s so calm. I forgot how good babies can be. | 她真冷静 我忘了宝宝能有多乖 |
[12:14] | Such a good baby! | 真是乖宝宝 |
[12:16] | Let’s see how good you are when I do this. | 看我这样做你还能有多乖 |
[12:26] | I better clean this pacifier. | 我最好洗一下奶嘴 |
[12:27] | Newborns are the best. | 新生儿最棒了 |
[12:30] | You’ve made a powerful enemy, baby. | 你惹了个强大的敌人 宝宝 |
[12:37] | Anna-Kat, are you okay? | 安娜凯特 你还好吗 |
[12:39] | You were so right. | 你太对了 |
[12:40] | – The sleepover is fun. – See? | -在同学家很好玩 -你瞧 |
[12:43] | But we’re having a stuffed animal tea party | 但我们要开绒毛玩偶茶话会 |
[12:45] | and I didn’t bring one. | 但我没带 |
[12:47] | I’m going to be stuck using an oven mitt like an idiot. | 我只能像白痴一样用微波炉手套了 |
[12:49] | Okay, calm down. I’ll be right there. | 冷静 我马上去 |
[12:51] | Bring my stuffed turtle. | 把我的绒毛乌龟带来 |
[12:53] | The one with the friendly eyes. | 眼神友好的那一个 |
[12:54] | Not the one who looks like he has a terrible secret. | 不要那个有可怕秘密的 |
[12:56] | How am I supposed to figure that out? | 我怎么分 |
[12:58] | You’ll know. | 你会知道的 |
[13:13] | What do you know, turtle? | 你知道什么 乌龟 |
[13:16] | Mama! | 妈妈 |
[13:20] | – Here’s your turtle. – Forget the turtle. | -你的乌龟 -别管乌龟了 |
[13:21] | Let’s get out of here. | 我们快走 |
[13:22] | Wait, what about the tea party? | 慢着 茶话会呢 |
[13:25] | There was never any tea party. | 根本没有茶话会 |
[13:26] | Let me get my things, and I’ll explain in the car. | 我去拿东西 我在车上解释 |
[13:28] | You’re not getting your things. | 你不能拿你的东西 |
[13:31] | Good thinking. Leave ’em here. | 说得对 放在这里 |
[13:32] | – Collateral damage. – No. | -附带损伤 -不 |
[13:34] | Just because something is hard | 有些事很难 |
[13:36] | does not mean you run away from it. | 不代表你要逃避 |
[13:38] | This is an opportunity for you to make friends | 这是你和一些好女孩交朋友的 |
[13:40] | with some nice girls. | 好机会 |
[13:42] | I am not taking you home. | 我不会带你回家 |
[13:43] | Kids, it’s time to decorate your own cupcake! | 孩子们 是时候装饰自己的纸杯蛋糕了 |
[13:47] | I’m in hell. | 我在地狱 |
[13:55] | Viv? | 维芙 |
[13:56] | What are you doing here? | 你在这做什么 |
[13:57] | Other than breastfeeding and making Greg uncomfortable. | 除了喂母乳和让格雷格不安之外 |
[14:00] | I couldn’t figure out | 我想不到办法 |
[14:01] | a way of getting past her without looking. | 走过她却不看到 |
[14:02] | Before I go out with Alan for the night, | 我晚上和艾伦出去前 |
[14:04] | I had to feed my sweet, beautiful Violet. | 我必须先喂可爱漂亮的维奥莱特 |
[14:07] | This is always the best part of my day. | 这是一天中我最开心的时刻 |
[14:10] | I remember when I had best parts of my day. | 我还记得我拥有一天最开心时刻的样子 |
[14:13] | All right, Viv. | 好了 维芙 |
[14:14] | The car’s out– | 车子 |
[14:16] | Why are you breastfeeding Katie’s baby? | 你为什么要给凯蒂的孩子喂奶 |
[14:18] | When you left Viv, | 你离开维芙后 |
[14:20] | she became so poor that…I had to hire her…as my wet nurse. | 她太穷了 我必须聘请她做奶妈 |
[14:25] | That’s…right. | 没错 |
[14:28] | Um, Katie is just one of my many clients that I wet for. | 凯蒂是我众多客户之一 |
[14:32] | I-I’m not an idiot, okay? | 我不是白痴 |
[14:35] | Okay, Alan… | 艾伦 |
[14:38] | …Violet’s my baby. | 维奥莱特是我的宝宝 |
[14:39] | Since we’ve been divorced, you had a baby? | 我们离婚后你生了个宝宝 |
[14:41] | Alan, what you have to understand — | 艾伦 你必须理解的是 |
[14:43] | I looked. | 我看到了 |
[14:46] | And the father was a pig whisperer, | 她父亲是个猪语者 |
[14:47] | he caught me at a very vulnerable time. | 他正碰到我脆弱的时候 |
[14:49] | But then he left town and I never heard from him again. | 然后他离开了 我再也没有他的消息 |
[14:53] | Well, the “Old me” Would’ve dumped you immediately. | 原来的我会立刻甩了你 |
[14:54] | But Swami Gary’s taught me to think before I act. | 但加里阁下教会我三思而后行 |
[14:57] | He calls it “Thacting.” | 他称之为三后 |
[14:59] | What other vocab did Swami Gary teach you? | 加里阁下还教了你什么词汇 |
[15:01] | Douching, by chance? | 教了是渣吗 |
[15:02] | As in, the act of being a douche? | 就是是个人渣的意思 |
[15:04] | Here’s my offer — we’re gonna Westport the whole situation. | 我的提议 我们用西港的办法来解决 |
[15:07] | We’re gonna hire an entire staff of nannies. | 我们请一群保姆 |
[15:09] | They’re gonna care for her. They’re gonna feed her. | 她们会照顾她 喂她 |
[15:11] | They’re gonna take her to tennis lessons, okay? | 送她上网球课 |
[15:12] | When she’s old enough, | 她大了后 |
[15:14] | we’re gonna get her into a Swiss boarding school. | 就送她去瑞士寄宿学校 |
[15:15] | And then you and I will live our lives — | 你和我可以过我们的生活 |
[15:17] | our big, awesome, amazing lives, | 我们有钱奢华美好的生活 |
[15:18] | and you are gonna want for nothing. | 你会别无所求 |
[15:23] | – I — – Viv? | -我 -维芙 |
[15:24] | I’ll be in the car, okay? | 我先去车上了 |
[15:27] | Amazeballs. | 好极了 |
[15:29] | Means “Namaste,” Essentially. | 本质上来说就是合十礼的意思 |
[15:33] | Okay, before you say anything, | 你先别说什么 |
[15:35] | maybe it is a good plan. | 也许这是个好安排 |
[15:36] | Maybe Violet will be better off. | 也许维奥莱特会更好 |
[15:37] | – Viv — – And you’ll be better off! | -维芙 -而且你会更好 |
[15:39] | I won’t be here all the time | 我不会总在这里 |
[15:41] | bothering you, taking your stuff, | 烦着你 拿你的东西 |
[15:43] | showering at your place when you guys are gone. | 你们离开后在你家洗澡 |
[15:45] | It took you so long to leave on Thursday. | 你周四好晚出门 |
[15:47] | Oh. Greg? | 格雷格 |
[15:49] | A word? | 聊聊 |
[16:00] | I called the vet, and they said pumpkin | 我打给了兽医 他们说南瓜 |
[16:01] | will make him go immediately, so I fed him a can and a half. | 会让它马上大便 所以我喂了它一罐半 |
[16:04] | Smart. | 聪明 |
[16:05] | Come on, boy! Give us some earrings! | 快点 孩子 把耳环拉出来 |
[16:07] | And cufflinks — don’t forget the cufflinks. | 袖扣 别忘了袖扣 |
[16:09] | He needs his space. | 它需要空间 |
[16:12] | Ooh, I think he’s ready to go. | 它快拉了 |
[16:14] | How can you tell? | 你怎么知道 |
[16:15] | It looks like he’s trying to solve | 它的表情像在解 |
[16:16] | a really hard math problem. | 非常难的数学题 |
[16:18] | Good boy, good boy! | 好孩子 |
[16:24] | Mom’s earrings! | 妈妈的耳环 |
[16:27] | Where are my cufflinks? | 我的袖扣呢 |
[16:30] | Come on, boy. What else you got in there? | 孩子 你还拉了什么 |
[16:32] | A thimble? A race car? | 一个顶针 赛车 |
[16:34] | Well, looks like he got into Monopoly. | 看来它喜欢大富翁 |
[16:35] | Come on, boy. Where are my cufflinks? | 加油 孩子 我的袖扣呢 |
[16:37] | Luthor never ate your cufflinks. | 卢瑟没吃你的袖扣 |
[16:39] | He didn’t? | 它没有吗 |
[16:40] | Then where are they? | 那在哪里 |
[16:41] | I couldn’t feed cufflinks to our dog. | 我不会让狗吃袖扣的 |
[16:43] | I’m not a monster. | 我不是恶魔 |
[16:45] | I just needed you to help me. | 我只是需要你帮我 |
[16:52] | Really? | 是吗 |
[16:53] | You played me? | 你耍了我 |
[16:56] | All new respect. | 现在要尊敬你了 |
[16:58] | For the “Dumb one,” That was a pretty smart move. | 对笨蛋来说 这招挺聪明 |
[17:00] | I think you mean for the “Dumb whom,” | 你应该说对笨蛋那个人来说 |
[17:02] | that was a pretty smart move. | 这招挺聪明 |
[17:06] | Here’s the problem — | 问题在于 |
[17:08] | Evil Katie almost has Viv out of her hair. | 邪恶凯蒂差点就能让维芙不再来烦自己了 |
[17:11] | She wants fewer people depending on her | 她希望更少的人来指望她 |
[17:13] | so she can have more of a life. | 这样她可以过生活 |
[17:15] | And sending Viv off with Alan would do that in spades. | 让维芙跟艾伦走会做到这点 |
[17:19] | But Good Katie knows… | 但好凯蒂知道 |
[17:20] | That Viv and her baby belong together. | 维芙和她的孩子应该在一起 |
[17:24] | But Evil Katie is tired of using Russian dressing | 但邪恶凯蒂已经厌倦了用俄式调味酱 |
[17:26] | to cover her blemishes because Viv stole her concealer. | 来遮掩污点 因为维芙偷走了她的遮瑕膏 |
[17:29] | But we’re human beings, and… | 但我们是人类 还有 |
[17:31] | And…we need to do the right thing. | 还有 我们要做正确的事 |
[17:35] | Fine. | 好吧 |
[17:37] | I blame you for making me a better person. | 我怪你让我成为了更好的人 |
[17:39] | It’s very unpleasant. | 非常不爽 |
[17:45] | Viv, I know that you have told me | 维芙 我知道你告诉过我 |
[17:49] | that you are not mom material, but you are wrong. | 你不是当妈的料 但你错了 |
[17:53] | – I am? – Yes. | -是吗 -是的 |
[17:54] | Violet is amazing. | 维奥莱特棒极了 |
[17:57] | I tried to make her cry | 我想让她哭 |
[17:58] | – repeatedly today — – Wait, why would you — | -今天试了好多次 -你为什么… |
[18:00] | It’s not important, Viv. | 这不重要 维芙 |
[18:03] | It’s Alan. | 是艾伦 |
[18:05] | You have got the best baby ever. | 你有最乖的孩子 |
[18:08] | And there is only one reason for it. | 这只有一个原因 |
[18:11] | Because she has got the best mom ever. | 因为她有最棒的妈妈 |
[18:14] | You really think I’m a good mom? | 你真的觉得我是个好妈妈 |
[18:16] | I know you are. | 我知道你是的 |
[18:19] | That is such a relief | 真是松了口气 |
[18:20] | because I stole your “Best mom ever” Mug, | 因为我偷了你”最佳妈妈”的马克杯 |
[18:22] | and I felt really bad about it. | 我挺内疚的 |
[18:24] | But now I feel like I earned it. | 但现在我觉得是我应得的 |
[18:27] | You know what? | 知道吗 |
[18:28] | I don’t need a man to make me happy. | 我不需要男人让我开心 |
[18:33] | Because you make me happy. | 因为你让我开心 |
[18:36] | Yes, you do. | 是的 |
[18:38] | Violet, it’ll be the two of us against the world. | 维奥莱特 我们两个人对抗这个世界 |
[18:43] | It’ll be the two of you plus the Otto family against the world. | 是你们两个人加上奥图一家对抗这个世界 |
[18:50] | I don’t need a man. | 我不需要男人 |
[18:53] | Because you’re my man. | 因为你就是我的男人 |
[18:55] | Oh, gosh, you’re my big, strong, burly man. | 天啊 你是我大块头强壮结实的男人 |
[19:04] | I could kill Good Katie. | 我要杀了好凯蒂 |
[19:13] | Look who I have here. | 看谁回来了 |
[19:15] | Oh my God, Greg, she’s alive! | 我的天 格雷格 她还活着 |
[19:17] | She made it through the sleepover | 她熬过了在同学家过夜 |
[19:19] | and nothing bad happened! | 没有坏事发生 |
[19:20] | Alright, I get it. | 我懂了 |
[19:22] | You were right, it was good. | 你是对的 很好玩 |
[19:23] | We made S’mores and had a marshmallow fight. | 我们做了棉花糖饼干 还有棉花糖大战 |
[19:25] | I’m glad I stayed. | 我真高兴我留下来了 |
[19:27] | Anna-Kat. | 安娜凯特 |
[19:29] | Yeah? | 什么 |
[19:31] | I am proud of you. | 我为你骄傲 |
[19:33] | Thanks, Mom. | 谢谢你 妈 |
[19:35] | “Mom”? | 妈 |
[19:36] | Yeah, “Mom.” | 对 妈 |
[19:37] | None of the kids say “Mama.” | 同学们没有叫妈妈的 |
[19:39] | That’s for babies. | 小宝宝才这么叫 |
[19:44] | No more “Mama.” | 不再是妈妈了 |
[19:47] | I’m not “Mama” Anymore. | 我不再是妈妈了 |
[19:49] | I’m now…”Mom.” | 现在我是妈 |
[19:53] | “Mom.” | 妈 |
[19:55] | It’s the end of an era. | 一个时代的结束 |
[19:59] | She was so little. | 她曾经那么小 |
[20:01] | So…fourth baby? | 所以 第四个孩子 |
[20:08] | Nah. | 不要 |
[20:09] | I’m just gonna teach Luthor to call me “Mama.” | 我会教卢瑟管我叫妈妈 |
[20:11] | I saw a husky do it on the Internet. | 我在网上看到哈士奇会叫 |
[20:18] | I am telling you it is more fun | 我告诉你 偷餐厅的 |
[20:21] | to steal from restaurants than your friends. | 比偷朋友的好玩多了 |
[20:23] | Okay. | 好 |
[20:24] | One…two… | 一 二 |
[20:26] | three…now! | 三 开始 |
[20:29] | You’re right. And it’s always stocked. | 你说得对 而且总是货量充足 |
[20:31] | I mean, I could never get real maple syrup at your place, | 我没办法在你家拿到真正的枫糖酱 |
[20:34] | I mean, ’cause you’re always like, | 因为你总是 |
[20:35] | “Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.” | 喝啊喝啊 |
[20:36] | When the manager turns away, grab the ketchup. | 经理转身时 拿番茄酱 |
[20:39] | Oh, no, no, no. | 不不 |
[20:40] | I’ve already stolen like three ketchups from you. | 我已经偷了你家三瓶番茄酱 |
[20:42] | But they have those tiny hot sauces, and I love those. | 但这里有小辣酱 我超爱的 |
[20:46] | – Okay, on three. – Okay. | -数到三 -好 |
[20:48] | One…Two… | 一 二 |
[20:49] | Dibs! | 我的 |
[20:51] | It’s taco night tonight. | 今晚我家吃玉米饼 |
[20:52] | I’ll make it up to you. Next stop — Starbucks. | 我会补偿你 下一站 星巴克 |
[20:55] | When you ask them for almond milk, | 你找他们要杏仁乳时 |
[20:56] | they hand you a whole carton. | 他们会给你一盒 |
[20:57] | – So fun! – Yeah. | -太好玩了 -是啊 |