| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | No, no, Mom. We’ve got this. | 妈 我们能行 |
| [00:07] | Don’t offer to help. | 不用帮忙 |
| [00:08] | Ah, way ahead of you. | 早想到了 |
| [00:10] | Why do you put off getting your tree | 你们为什么这么晚 |
| [00:12] | until the last second? | 才去买树 |
| [00:13] | It’s almost Christmas. | 就快过圣诞了 |
| [00:14] | We wait so we get a better price on the reject trees. | 这样没人要的树会有好价格 |
| [00:17] | Because a penny saved is a penny embarrassing. | 省一分钱就多一分尴尬 |
| [00:19] | This one only cost us 15 bucks | 这棵才15块 |
| [00:21] | because it’s infested with termites. | 因为里面有白蚁 |
| [00:23] | But here’s a fun fact — we’re renters! | 但有趣的地方是 我们是租户 |
| [00:26] | Do you have to keep walking around | 你一定要戴着这个恶心的东西 |
| [00:28] | in that creepy thing? | 到处乱走吗 |
| [00:29] | Yeah. I do. | 是的 |
| [00:30] | I didn’t get the lead in “The Nutcracker,” | 我没得到《胡桃夹子》的主角 |
| [00:31] | so I’m stuck getting used to this stupid Mouse King mask. | 所以我得习惯这个该死的鼠王面具 |
| [00:33] | Well, it’s happening, so suck it up. | 已经是这样的了 认命吧 |
| [00:36] | All I want this year is a peaceful Christmas. | 今年我只想要一个平静的圣诞 |
| [00:38] | All I want is a Tiffany Infinity Bracelet. | 我只想要一个蒂芙妮手镯 |
| [00:41] | All I want is an aging billionaire | 我只想要一个年老的亿万富翁 |
| [00:43] | who has an aversion to pre-nups. | 而且他讨厌婚前协议 |
| [00:46] | And all I want for Christmas… | 今年圣诞我只想要 |
| [00:48] | is for your mother to leave. | 你妈走人 |
| [00:51] | She’s been here forever. I want my office back. | 她待了好久了 我想要回办公室 |
| [00:53] | I’m tired of you guys making fun of me | 我已经厌倦了我想看书时 |
| [00:54] | whenever I want to read a book. | 你们嘲笑我 |
| [00:55] | Books are for nerds, nerd! | 书是呆子看的 呆子 |
| [01:01] | Daddy! | 爸爸 |
| [01:02] | Kitty-Kat! | 小凯蒂 |
| [01:04] | Grandpa! | 外公 |
| [01:06] | Oh, hi, cutie. Oh, hi, sweetheart. | 小可爱 小宝贝 |
| [01:08] | Hey, pal. How are you? | 小子 你好吗 |
| [01:09] | Why don’t you take his bags upstairs? | 你把他的行李拿上楼 |
| [01:11] | Oh, yeah, grab that one for me, would you? | 帮我拿这个 |
| [01:12] | I didn’t know you were coming, Dad. | 我不知道你要来 爸 |
| [01:13] | – Why didn’t you call? – Well, I did. | -你为什么没打电话 -我打了 |
| [01:16] | I told that little knucklehead right there. | 我跟那边的小傻瓜说了 |
| [01:18] | Oh. Mom, Grandpa’s coming to town for Christmas. | 对了 妈 外公圣诞时会来 |
| [01:22] | I love that you came, Daddy. | 我喜欢你来 爸爸 |
| [01:24] | There is just one hitch — | 只是有一点 |
| [01:26] | Mom’s here. | 妈在这 |
| [01:27] | She’s still here? | 她还在这里 |
| [01:29] | I thought she would’ve moved on by now. | 我以为她已经搬走了 |
| [01:30] | – It’s been months. – Thank you! | -几个月了 -谢谢 |
| [01:32] | Grandpa! | 外公 |
| [01:33] | Come put those presents under the tree. | 我们把礼物放在树下 |
| [01:36] | This is very, very bad. | 这下惨了 |
| [01:38] | We can’t have my parents in the same house. | 我的父母不能同处一室 |
| [01:40] | There’s an understanding — they only see each other | 大家有共识 他们只在婚礼 |
| [01:42] | at weddings and funerals. | 和葬礼上见面 |
| [01:43] | It’s been 25 years since they split up. | 他们已经分开25年了 |
| [01:45] | I’m sure they’ve moved on by now. | 我相信他们已经放下了 |
| [01:47] | Marty? | 马蒂 |
| [01:52] | Hey, Kate. | 凯特 |
| [01:54] | Nice ponytail. | 马尾真好看 |
| [01:56] | It’s very “Last of the Mohicans” Meets “Cocoon.” | 融合了最后的莫希干人和魔茧 |
| [01:58] | And how do you look so good? | 你怎么这么美 |
| [02:00] | Did you make a deal… with yourself? | 你傍上了自己吗 |
| [02:05] | And I see that you’re still wearing cargo shorts. | 看来你还穿着短裤 |
| [02:07] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [02:09] | I would have gotten all dressed up | 我会打扮好 |
| [02:11] | had I known I was meeting the Queen of England. | 如果我知道我要见英国女王的话 |
| [02:14] | Well, deck the halls. | 过圣诞了 |
| [02:26] | You don’t have to clear out of your room. | 你不必把东西收走 |
| [02:28] | I can just sleep on the floor somewhere. | 我可以睡地板 |
| [02:30] | Come on, Grandpa, | 得了 外公 |
| [02:31] | you’re not gonna sleep on the floor. | 不能让你睡地板 |
| [02:33] | I’ll just sleep on Anna-Kat’s pullout. | 我睡安娜凯特的沙发床 |
| [02:34] | Thanks, kiddo. | 谢谢你 孩子 |
| [02:36] | Hey, I’m excited to go see your dance thing. | 我很期待看你跳舞 |
| [02:38] | Don’t get too excited. | 别太期待 |
| [02:40] | I didn’t get the starring role. | 我不是主角 |
| [02:41] | I’m the Mouse King. I wear a mask. | 我是鼠王 戴着面具 |
| [02:43] | No one will even remember me. | 没人会记得我 |
| [02:45] | Hey. Batman wore a mask. | 蝙蝠侠戴面具 |
| [02:47] | Superman wore a mask. | 超人戴面具 |
| [02:48] | Superman didn’t wear a mask. | 超人没戴面具 |
| [02:49] | Batman wore a mask. | 蝙蝠侠戴面具 |
| [02:51] | What are you two talking about? | 你们在说什么 |
| [02:52] | Uh, Grandpa was just giving me some advice. | 外公在给我一些建议 |
| [02:54] | Your grandpa is the best person to go to for problems. | 有问题找外公就对了 |
| [02:58] | He was a father and a mother to me. | 对我来说他又当爹又当妈 |
| [03:00] | – When these started coming in strong… – I’m good. | -当这俩家伙开始长大 -没事了 |
| [03:02] | …I went to him. | 我去找他 |
| [03:03] | He took me to get my first bra. | 他带我去买了第一个文胸 |
| [03:04] | Most girls start with a traiing bra. | 大多数女生一开始戴少女文胸 |
| [03:07] | – Not my Katie. – Still good. | -我的凯蒂可不是 -没事了 |
| [03:08] | He also taught me how to shave my legs. | 他还教我怎么刮腿毛 |
| [03:10] | And how to change a flat, | 怎么换车胎 |
| [03:12] | throw a curve ball, and put on mascara. | 扔弧线球 涂睫毛膏 |
| [03:14] | You got to flick your wrist a little bit | 你得用上手腕的力 |
| [03:16] | or it gets all clumpy. | 否则就是一团 |
| [03:18] | Why didn’t Grandma do this stuff with you? | 为什么外婆不教你 |
| [03:20] | Because she found herself a job | 因为她给自己找的工作 |
| [03:21] | that would keep parenting opportunities to a minimum. | 能够尽可能的不必当妈 |
| [03:26] | You don’t have to change the sheets for me. | 你不用为我换床单 |
| [03:28] | You do not want to sleep in a 15-year-old boy’s sheets. | 还是不要睡在15岁少年的床单上为妙 |
| [03:30] | Mommmmm! | 妈 |
| [03:31] | You’re right. I’m sorry, honey. | 你说得对 对不起 亲爱的 |
| [03:33] | You should also probably wear flip-flops in the shower. | 最好在浴室穿人字拖 |
| [03:37] | Ugh! I can’t believe | 真不敢相信 |
| [03:39] | that you wrapped those presents in aluminum foil. | 你用锡箔纸包礼物 |
| [03:41] | Why? | 怎么了 |
| [03:42] | You don’t need tape, | 不需要胶带 |
| [03:44] | and a cutter is right on the box. | 盒子上就有切刀 |
| [03:45] | You don’t have to worry about scissors, | 不必担心剪刀 |
| [03:47] | and when you unwrap, you can use it | 拆开后 还可以用来 |
| [03:48] | to cover your favorite holiday leftovers. | 包最爱的圣诞剩菜 |
| [03:51] | All right, this is why your daughter | 这个就是你女儿为什么 |
| [03:53] | buys last-minute Christmas trees | 在最后一分钟才买圣诞树 |
| [03:54] | and reuses dryer sheets until they dissolve into her clothing. | 重复使用烘衣纸 直到它们融解在衣服中 |
| [03:58] | Oh, you are a delight. | 你真讨人喜欢 |
| [04:02] | Well, looks like our family Christmas | 看来我们家的圣诞节 |
| [04:05] | is getting dragged behind a dumpster | 被拉到垃圾箱后 |
| [04:06] | and beaten with a sack of batteries. | 被一袋子电池揍了一顿 |
| [04:08] | You’re just gonna have to ask one of your parents to leave. | 恐怕你得让你父母离开了 |
| [04:10] | I can’t kick my parents out on Christmas. | 我不能在圣诞节赶走他们 |
| [04:12] | The only thing that we can do | 为了拥有平静圣诞 |
| [04:13] | to have a peaceful holiday | 唯一的办法 |
| [04:14] | is to keep them apart. | 就是分开他们 |
| [04:15] | I will take my mom to work | 我带我妈去上班 |
| [04:16] | and you entertain my dad. | 你娱乐我爸 |
| [04:18] | What am I supposed to do with him? | 我和他做什么呢 |
| [04:19] | He’s a handyman. Have him fix something. | 他是个手巧的人 让他修东西 |
| [04:21] | Fix what? Nothing’s broken. | 修什么 没东西坏了 |
| [04:25] | There. | 好了 |
| [04:26] | Fix that. | 修这个 |
| [04:27] | All right. | 好 |
| [04:36] | There’s the new understudy | 这是《恐怖小店》的 |
| [04:37] | for the lead of “Little Shop of Horrors.” | 新主角替补 |
| [04:39] | I couldn’t have done it without you. | 没有你我做不到 |
| [04:40] | – Ready to rehearse? – Let me just grab my script. | -准备去彩排吗 -我去拿剧本 |
| [04:46] | Hey, Pierce, do you wanna play ponies with me? | 皮尔斯 你想和我玩小马吗 |
| [04:48] | – Ponies? – Yeah. | -小马 -对 |
| [04:50] | I made up a game called | 我编了个游戏叫 |
| [04:51] | “Real Horsewives of Connecticut.” | 康州马娇妻 |
| [04:52] | This is Donatella Morningstar. | 这是多纳泰拉·晨星 |
| [04:55] | She’s having a launch party for her new saddle line, | 她为新的马鞍系列举办发布会 |
| [04:57] | but she didn’t invite Sparkles O’Donahue, | 但她没有邀请火花·奥唐纳修 |
| [05:00] | so she’s having lunch with Bethany Trotsky to talk trash. | 所以她和贝瑟尼·托洛茨基吃午餐谈八卦 |
| [05:03] | Yeah, I don’t do ponies. | 我不玩小马 |
| [05:06] | Tell Mom and Dad we’re off to join the circus. | 告诉父母我们离开加入马戏团了 |
| [05:09] | Did you just come up with that off the top of your head? | 你突然想到的吗 |
| [05:11] | Mm. I can’t believe you haven’t done improv. | 你居然没参加即兴表演 |
| [05:15] | That boy needs a hard hoof to the head. | 那小子的脑门欠踢 |
| [05:18] | Ooo, Donatella, you are bad. | 多纳泰拉 你真坏 |
| [05:24] | Nothing was ever good enough for that woman. | 那女人对什么都不满意 |
| [05:30] | You have those just loose in there? | 你就这样放着吗 |
| [05:32] | No bag? | 没有袋子吗 |
| [05:34] | It’s a pocket. Why would I need a bag? | 这是口袋 为什么还要袋子 |
| [05:36] | Listen, I get that she makes you nuts. | 我知道她让你发疯 |
| [05:38] | She makes me nuts. | 她也让我发疯 |
| [05:39] | But could you just make peace with Kathryn? | 但你能和凯瑟琳和平相处吗 |
| [05:44] | You see, that would be like | 那就像 |
| [05:46] | using a cement-based grout on a joint | 在连接处用水泥基灌浆 |
| [05:49] | instead of caulk. | 而不是填缝 |
| [05:51] | I’m saying it wouldn’t work. | 我是说不管用 |
| [05:53] | I’m just asking for a small gesture. | 我只是请你稍微表示一下 |
| [05:55] | A peace offering. Put on a pair of pants. | 稍微示好 穿上长裤 |
| [05:57] | My legs run hot! | 我的腿温度高 |
| [05:58] | Listen, all Katie wants | 凯蒂只想要一个 |
| [05:59] | is a stress-free Christmas. | 没有压力的圣诞节 |
| [06:01] | Do it for your daughter and your grandkids. | 这是为了你的女儿和外孙 |
| [06:03] | All right. I’ll do it for them. | 好吧 我为了他们 |
| [06:07] | Apple pie? | 苹果派 |
| [06:09] | How is it warm? | 为什么是热的 |
| [06:10] | I told you — I run hot. | 我说了我温度高 |
| [06:14] | He wouldn’t even play “Real Horsewives” With me. | 他甚至不想和我玩康州马娇妻 |
| [06:18] | That’s crazy. It’s so fun. | 他傻啊 那么好玩 |
| [06:20] | Did you offer him Donatella Morningstar? | 你跟他说了多纳泰拉·晨星吗 |
| [06:22] | She’s the breakout star of the whole show. | 她是整个秀的大明星 |
| [06:23] | I didn’t even have a chance. | 我根本没机会 |
| [06:24] | He just walked away. | 他走开了 |
| [06:26] | I get a bad feeling from that guy. | 我对他的感觉不好 |
| [06:29] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [06:30] | You need to get your act together | 你得振作起来 |
| [06:32] | and win Taylor back. | 追回泰勒 |
| [06:33] | How? | 怎么做 |
| [06:35] | She’s super mad. She won’t talk to me. | 她非常生气 不想和我说话 |
| [06:36] | It’s Christmas. | 这可是圣诞 |
| [06:37] | Put a Secret Santa gift in her locker. | 在她的储物柜放上秘密圣诞老人礼物 |
| [06:39] | – Okay. – She won’t know it’s from you, | -好 -她不知道是你送的 |
| [06:41] | and when she loves it, you pop out | 她喜欢礼物 你跳出来 |
| [06:44] | and do your smiley handsome thing. | 笑的非常帅气 |
| [06:46] | I’m really good at smiley handsome. | 我笑起来的确很帅 |
| [06:47] | Maybe the best there ever was. | 也许是最帅的 |
| [06:49] | But what do I get her? | 我送什么给她 |
| [06:50] | I happen to know she wants | 我恰好知道她想要 |
| [06:51] | a Tiffany Infinity Bracelet. | 蒂芙妮手镯 |
| [06:53] | All right. I’m in. | 好 没问题 |
| [06:55] | I just have one question. | 我有一个问题 |
| [06:56] | Did Donatella Morningstar launch her new saddle line yet? | 多纳泰拉·晨星发布了新的马鞍系列吗 |
| [06:59] | She did. And there was so much drama! | 是的 好多狗血 |
| [07:02] | I can’t believe | 真不敢相信 |
| [07:03] | I missed it. | 我错过了 |
| [07:07] | Check it out — the cabinet is fixed. | 看 柜子修好了 |
| [07:10] | And after my little talk with your dad, | 我和你爸谈了后 |
| [07:12] | so is Christmas. | 圣诞节也搞定了 |
| [07:13] | I wouldn’t be so sure. | 我不敢确定 |
| [07:14] | Do you hear them fighting? | 你听到他们吵架吗 |
| [07:16] | No, but they could have sharpened candy canes | 但他们可能削尖了拐杖糖 |
| [07:18] | and shivved each other. | 互捅对方 |
| [07:19] | Mom? | 妈 |
| [07:21] | Have you seen my Mouse King mask? | 看到我的鼠王面具吗 |
| [07:23] | I saw it in my office earlier. | 我之前看到在办公室 |
| [07:25] | I’m fixing everything. | 我什么都搞定了 |
| [07:31] | Oh, dear. | 天啊 |
| [07:36] | My mask! | 我的面具 |
| [07:37] | Oh, yeah, uh, listen, kiddo, I’m sorry. | 孩子 对不起 |
| [07:39] | It kind of got all squished in the excitement. | 太激动压坏了 |
| [07:42] | Oh. Here, honey. | 给 亲爱的 |
| [07:43] | Yeah, uh, but I can fix it. | 但我可以修好 |
| [07:45] | What is going on in there? | 出什么事了 |
| [07:48] | Oh, my God. What have you two done? | 我的天 你们两个做了什么 |
| [07:52] | Don’t answer that. | 别回答 |
| [07:54] | Please! Don’t answer that. | 求你了 别回答 |
| [07:56] | Fine, I won’t answer. | 好 我不回答 |
| [07:58] | But whatever did happen here happened twice. | 反正发生的发生了两次 |
| [08:06] | I told you to keep them apart. | 我让你分开他们 |
| [08:08] | They are the opposite of apart, Greg! | 他们反而在一起了 格雷格 |
| [08:10] | I wanted you to have a peaceful Christmas. | 我希望你拥有平静的圣诞 |
| [08:11] | All I did was ask your dad to put some pants on! | 我只要求你爸穿上裤子 |
| [08:13] | And I did. | 我穿了 |
| [08:15] | But then they came right back off again. | 然后又脱下了 |
| [08:17] | I appreciated the gesture. | 我感谢他的示好 |
| [08:19] | You know, we just started reminiscing | 我们开始回忆 |
| [08:21] | about the good times, | 美好的时光 |
| [08:22] | and one thing led to another. | 一件事接着一件事 |
| [08:24] | And another. | 又接着一件 |
| [08:25] | And most of the way to another. | 顺理成章 |
| [08:26] | Ugh. Please stop. | 拜托别说了 |
| [08:28] | Your mother decided that maybe we should give it another go. | 你母亲决定也许我们应该再试试 |
| [08:30] | No. | 不 |
| [08:32] | That is a terrible, terrible idea. | 这是一个非常可怕的主意 |
| [08:36] | – Right, Greg? – Terrible. | -对吗 格雷格 -可怕 |
| [08:37] | We’ll be fine. | 我们不会有事的 |
| [08:38] | In fact, we’re even thinking about moving in together. | 我们甚至在考虑同居 |
| [08:41] | Wait, not moving in together in my office. | 不是一起搬进我的办公室吧 |
| [08:43] | An off-site location? | 另外的地方 |
| [08:43] | My place. | 我家 |
| [08:44] | Hooray for love! | 爱情万岁 |
| [08:52] | I don’t know what my dad was thinking | 我不知道我爸在想什么 |
| [08:54] | getting back together with my mom. | 居然和我妈复合 |
| [08:55] | He doesn’t remember how awful she was to him. | 他忘了她对他有多坏 |
| [08:57] | But I do. | 我没忘 |
| [08:58] | That’s why I’m so easygoing with Greg. | 所以我对格雷格很和气 |
| [09:01] | Y-You are nicer to him than you are other people, I guess. | 你对他的确比对其他人和气 |
| [09:04] | Katie, they’re both adults, | 凯蒂 他们都是成年人 |
| [09:05] | and you get rid of your mom. What’s the big deal? | 而且你摆脱了你妈 有什么大不了的 |
| [09:07] | Because the minute someone better comes along, | 因为一旦有更好的人出现 |
| [09:09] | she is going to take off | 她就会离开 |
| [09:10] | and break my dad’s heart all over again. | 再次伤透我爸的心 |
| [09:11] | – That’s cold. – You did the same thing to your wife! | -太无情了 -你也是这样对你老婆的 |
| [09:14] | That’s right, because a lesbian can do | 没错 因为异性恋能做的 |
| [09:15] | anything a heterosexual can do, Doris. | 同性恋一样可以做 多瑞丝 |
| [09:18] | I can’t watch my dad go through it again. | 我不能看着我爸又经历一次 |
| [09:20] | It took me a year to get him back on his feet. | 我花了一年时间才让他振作 |
| [09:22] | It’s probably why I’m so nurturing. | 所以我这么母爱泛滥 |
| [09:23] | Wow. You really see yourself differently | 你对自己的看法 |
| [09:26] | than the rest of the world, huh? | 真的和其他人不同 |
| [09:27] | Sounds like you have to break them up | 听起来你得趁他深陷之前 |
| [09:28] | before he gets in too deep. | 分开他们 |
| [09:29] | I’d love to, but how? | 我愿意 怎么做 |
| [09:30] | Do something to remind them why they’re so bad for each other. | 做点什么 提醒他们为什么彼此不合适 |
| [09:33] | Find a trigger. | 找到契机 |
| [09:34] | Like on Christmas Eve, when I want to get rid of Richard’s mom, | 就像平安夜 我想赶走理查德的妈 |
| [09:36] | I bring out a picture of her at my age. | 我拿出她在我这个年纪的照片 |
| [09:38] | We look exactly the same. Creeps everybody out. | 我们长得一样 吓死了所有人 |
| [09:41] | She bolts, Richard can’t look at me for a month, | 她走人 理查德一个月不敢看我 |
| [09:42] | everybody wins. | 皆大欢喜 |
| [09:43] | You know, when I was a kid, | 我小时候 |
| [09:46] | they fought about decorating the Christmas tree. | 他们为装饰圣诞树吵架 |
| [09:48] | He wanted big, blinking, colorful lights, | 他要夸张闪亮的彩灯 |
| [09:51] | and she thought anything but white bulbs was stupid. | 她觉得除了白灯其他都很愚蠢 |
| [09:53] | But I thought you said Christmas morning | 但你不说是圣诞早晨 |
| [09:54] | was the happiest time for your family. | 是你家最开心的时候吗 |
| [09:56] | It was, once I got the idea to have two trees — | 是的 在我想到两棵树的办法后 |
| [09:59] | one for him and one for her. | 他们一人一棵树 |
| [10:01] | Because that’s what a | 因为那是 |
| [10:01] | 9-year-old needs to worry about at Christmas — | 九岁孩子圣诞节应该操心的 |
| [10:03] | keeping Mom and Dad from fighting. | 避免爸妈吵架 |
| [10:05] | So your answer lies in | 所以你的答案 |
| [10:06] | – that one tree in your living room. – Exactly. | -就是你家客厅的树上 -对 |
| [10:08] | I’ll just use the spirit and wonder of the holidays | 我就用节日的精神与奇迹 |
| [10:11] | to pit my parents against each other and break ’em up. | 挑起我父母吵架 让他们分手 |
| [10:20] | Here she comes. | 她来了 |
| [10:34] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [10:36] | Go get her, kid. | 快上去 小子 |
| [10:38] | What’s that? | 这是什么 |
| [10:40] | It’s a Tiffany Infinity Bracelet, | 蒂芙妮手镯 |
| [10:42] | but there’s no card, | 但是没有卡片 |
| [10:43] | so it’s from a Secret Santa, I guess. | 可能是来自秘密圣诞老人 |
| [10:45] | I love it! | 我好喜欢 |
| [10:47] | Merry Christmas! | 圣诞快乐 |
| [10:48] | It’s from you? | 是你送的 |
| [10:49] | Whoa. He got her the same present? | 他送她同样的礼物 |
| [10:51] | He didn’t get her the same present, | 他没送同样的礼物 |
| [10:54] | he just took credit for yours. | 他抢走了你的功劳 |
| [10:56] | And now he’s getting my hug? | 现在他抢了我的拥抱 |
| [10:58] | – I have to tell her. – o. | -我必须告诉她 -不 |
| [11:00] | Remember last time you told her that Pierce was a jerk? | 记得上次你告诉她皮尔斯是个混蛋吗 |
| [11:03] | You ended up looking like the jerk. | 结果你让自己像混蛋 |
| [11:05] | So I just give up? | 我就这样放弃吗 |
| [11:09] | No. | 不 |
| [11:11] | We need to come up with a Secret Santa gift | 我们要想出新的秘密圣诞老人礼物 |
| [11:13] | she’ll know is from you. | 她知道是你送的 |
| [11:15] | Then, when Pierce takes credit for it, he’s busted. | 这样皮尔斯抢功劳时 就现出原形了 |
| [11:18] | So, all we have to do is — | 我们要做的是 |
| [11:20] | I have an idea, but let’s see if yours is better. | 我有主意 但看你的是不是更好 |
| [11:22] | It has to be something romantic. | 要是浪漫的才行 |
| [11:24] | What did you guys do on your first date? | 你们第一次约会时做什么 |
| [11:26] | Oh, so, we went bowling and we made up | 我们去打保龄球 然后 |
| [11:28] | funny names for each other to put on the screen. | 互相取了搞笑的名字放上屏幕 |
| [11:30] | So she was “Lois Lane,” | 所以她是路易斯·莱恩 |
| [11:31] | and I was “Insert Player Two Name Here.” | 我是”在此输入二号选手的名字” |
| [11:33] | Keyboard was very confusing. | 键盘太难用了 |
| [11:35] | That’s it! | 有了 |
| [11:36] | Get her a bowling shirt with “Lois Lane” On it. | 送她保龄球衫 上面写着路易斯·莱恩 |
| [11:39] | Whoa. Anna-Kat, you’re like a mini guidance counselor. | 安娜凯特 你真像小小辅导员 |
| [11:42] | Except you don’t put Sambuca in your coffee | 只是你不会在我每次去办公室时 |
| [11:44] | every time I walk in your office. | 放上利口酒 |
| [11:48] | – Come on, let’s wrap it up. – What’s the rush? | -快点搞完 -急什么 |
| [11:50] | I just want to get the tree trimmed | 我只想在看奥利弗表演前 |
| [11:51] | before Oliver’s dance recital. | 快点装饰好树 |
| [11:53] | So you’re at peace with your parents getting back together? | 你对你父母复合没意见了 |
| [11:54] | Oh, yeah. | 当然 |
| [11:56] | I don’t love that “Oh, yeah.” | 我不喜欢你这个当然 |
| [11:57] | I’ve heard it before. | 我以前听过 |
| [11:59] | Katie, you’re still on the pill, right? | 凯蒂 你还在吃避孕药吧 |
| [12:02] | Oh, yeah. | 当然 |
| [12:06] | Why are you guys looking at me? | 你们为什么看着我 |
| [12:10] | Sorry we’re late. | 抱歉我们迟到了 |
| [12:12] | I was just giving the Mouse King a once-over. | 我在给鼠王做最后的检查 |
| [12:14] | I got one, too. | 我也被查了 |
| [12:16] | Here you go. | 给 |
| [12:19] | It looks like nobody has ever had sex on it! | 根本看不出来有人在它上面做过爱 |
| [12:21] | Well, the tree is all decorated. | 树已经装饰好了 |
| [12:25] | What do you think? | 你们觉得怎么样 |
| [12:26] | – It’s very pretty. Yeah. – That’s nice. | -很漂亮 -不错 |
| [12:27] | You sure? Nothing that bothers you? | 确定吗 没什么让你心烦 |
| [12:30] | Dad, you’ve always been a star man, right? | 爸 你一直喜欢星星 |
| [12:32] | You sure you want that angel up there? | 上面放个天使你没意见吗 |
| [12:34] | Well, nothing to fight over. | 不反对 |
| [12:35] | An angel is just fine. | 天使也挺好 |
| [12:37] | Like your entire life was “Just fine” | 就像你的人生也是挺好 |
| [12:40] | after Mom chewed you up and spit you out | 在妈把你当坏掉的开心果 |
| [12:42] | like a bad pistachio. | 嚼碎了吐出来之后 |
| [12:45] | Katie, what are you doing? | 凯蒂 你在做什么 |
| [12:46] | Just cherishing a magical Christmas | 和我的父母一起 |
| [12:48] | with both of my parents. | 欢庆神奇的圣诞 |
| [12:50] | Am I still allowed to do that, Greg, or is this Russia? | 我还可以这样做吧 格雷格 这里是俄罗斯吗 |
| [12:53] | Mom, what do you think of the lights? | 妈 你觉得灯怎么样 |
| [12:55] | They sure are big and colorful and blinkey. | 它们又大又彩又闪 |
| [12:57] | Well, I know they make your father happy. | 我知道你爸喜欢 |
| [12:59] | Since when did you care about that? | 你什么时候在乎这个 |
| [13:01] | My whole childhood, | 我的整个童年 |
| [13:02] | you lived off of menthols and Dad’s misery. | 你都是靠薄荷烟和爸的痛苦活过来的 |
| [13:05] | Why are we bringing this up now? | 为什么现在提这个 |
| [13:06] | I don’t know. It’s the holidays. | 不知道 过节嘛 |
| [13:07] | And it’s nice to take a walk down Memory Lane. | 回忆一下过去很不错 |
| [13:10] | – Katie — – Remember how you’d tell Dad to take ’em off, | -凯蒂 -还记得你让爸把灯取下来 |
| [13:12] | and he’d refuse and tell you, “You’re not gonna be happy | 他拒绝 跟你说”只有树上再挂两个蛋 |
| [13:15] | until there were two more balls hanging from the tree.” | 你才会开心” |
| [13:18] | Ornaments, Anna-Kat. | 装饰品 安娜凯特 |
| [13:20] | She’s, uh, talking about ornaments. | 她说的是装饰品 |
| [13:22] | Mom realizes she’s doing this in front of her children. | 妈妈知道孩子们在眼前 |
| [13:25] | Isn’t that right, Mama? | 对不对 妈妈 |
| [13:25] | Remember how you’d rip the lights off the tree | 记得你怎么把灯取下来 |
| [13:27] | and throw them at Dad? | 砸向爸爸 |
| [13:28] | That was fun. | 真好玩 |
| [13:29] | Do you want to give them a little tug? | 你想把灯拉下来吗 |
| [13:30] | Katie, stop. Now, the lights are fine. | 凯蒂 住手 灯挺好的 |
| [13:32] | I know that you hate them. | 我知道你讨厌它们 |
| [13:33] | Here! Let me help you pull them off! | 来 我帮你取下来 |
| [13:38] | Oh, good, now I’m not the only one in class | 很好 现在我不是班上唯一一个 |
| [13:40] | whose mom hasn’t had a nervous breakdown. | 妈妈没有精神崩溃过的人 |
| [13:42] | Thanks, Mom. You’ve given me a lot to draw on | 多谢你了 妈 你给我不少灵感 |
| [13:44] | when I play the villain in “The Nutcracker.” | 让我更好的出演《胡桃夹子》中的反派 |
| [13:46] | Can we go do that now? | 可以走了吗 |
| [13:47] | Why aren’t you two fighting about the tree?! | 你们为什么没有为树争吵 |
| [13:48] | This is your tradition! | 这是你们的传统 |
| [13:49] | I think I’ll start my own tradition | 我想我要开创自己的传统 |
| [13:51] | by spending Christmas at a friend’s house. | 在朋友家过圣诞 |
| [13:58] | My Mouse King mask! | 我的鼠王面具 |
| [14:02] | This was your peaceful Christmas? | 这就是你的平静圣诞 |
| [14:04] | What’s your idea for a happy New Year? The Purge? | 你对快乐新年的想法是什么 人类清除计划 |
| [14:08] | Look what you did. | 看你做了什么 |
| [14:23] | Relax. It’s gonna be fine. | 放轻松 没事的 |
| [14:25] | Oh, yeah, I’m on in half an hour, | 对 还有半小时 |
| [14:27] | – and I have no mask. – Don’t worry. | -我没有面具 -别担心 |
| [14:28] | You can fix anything with duct tape. | 没什么是胶带修不好的 |
| [14:30] | Why are you so upset? | 你为什么这么生气 |
| [14:31] | Your parents are falling in love again — | 你的父母再次相爱 |
| [14:33] | on Christmas. | 在圣诞节 |
| [14:35] | Add a rescue dog, maybe Tori Spelling, | 加上救一条狗 也许再加上托瑞·斯培林 |
| [14:37] | you’ve got yourself the perfect TV holiday movie. | 就是一部完美的节日电视电影 |
| [14:40] | You’re just pushing her on my dad | 你把她推给我爸 |
| [14:41] | because you want her out of your office. | 因为你想让她离开你的办公室 |
| [14:42] | He’s going to get hurt again. | 他会再次受伤的 |
| [14:44] | – You don’t know that. – Yes, I do. | -你不知道 -我知道 |
| [14:45] | I know my mom, and she’s gonna eat him alive. | 我了解我爸 她会生吞他 |
| [14:47] | She is like a lake full of piranhas, | 她就像满是食人鱼的湖 |
| [14:49] | and he is like… | 他就像 |
| [14:51] | something that falls into a lake full of piranhas. | 掉进满是食人鱼的湖的什么东东 |
| [14:53] | – A small cow? – Thank you. | -小奶牛 -谢谢 |
| [14:55] | He’s like a small cow. | 他像小奶牛 |
| [15:12] | All right. | 好了 |
| [15:13] | The elf is delivering the bowling shirt. | 精灵会送上保龄球衫 |
| [15:16] | Taylor will open it up and know it can only be from you. | 泰勒会打开 知道只可能是你送的 |
| [15:19] | Pierce will try to take credit. | 皮尔斯会抢功劳 |
| [15:20] | And she’ll know he’s a liar. | 她会知道他是个骗子 |
| [15:21] | Then you pop out, kiss-kiss… | 然后你上场 亲亲 |
| [15:23] | And then we green-light | 然后就可以上演 |
| [15:29] | I got her tickets? | 我送她门票 |
| [15:31] | No, you bought her a bowling shirt. | 不 你买的是保龄球衫 |
| [15:35] | I thought you’d want to go | 我觉得你想去 |
| [15:37] | since you’re gonna be on Broadway someday. | 因为有天你会在百老汇表演 |
| [15:39] | Oh, my God, thank you! | 我的天 谢谢你 |
| [15:40] | What is going on? | 什么情况 |
| [15:42] | That tall guy over there gave me 20 bucks | 那个高个子给我20块 |
| [15:43] | to come over here and say, “Thanks for the box.” | 让我过来说 谢谢你的盒子 |
| [15:47] | Pierce! | 皮尔斯 |
| [15:52] | Dad… | 爸 |
| [15:53] | …you and Mom shouldn’t be together. | 你和妈妈不应该在一起 |
| [15:57] | Look, kiddo, I can take care of myself. | 孩子 我可以照顾好我自己 |
| [15:59] | Mom is just making nice with you | 妈对你好 |
| [16:00] | because she doesn’t have anywhere else to go. | 是因为她无处可去了 |
| [16:02] | She is broke and looking for a soft place to land. | 她破产了 在找归宿 |
| [16:06] | What are you saying? | 你想说什么 |
| [16:07] | You are like a drywall screw and she’s a driver. | 你像水泥墙螺丝 而她是螺丝刀 |
| [16:10] | And then she’s going to use you until your head gets stripped, | 她会利用你 直到你的头被拧花了 |
| [16:14] | and then she’s gonna leave you | 然后她会离开你 |
| [16:15] | for one of those fancy Torx screws. | 投奔高档梅花螺丝 |
| [16:19] | Now I understand. | 我明白了 |
| [16:22] | – But maybe she — – Dad… | -但也许她 -爸 |
| [16:23] | I know you think that you can fix anything, | 我知道你以为自己可以修好一切 |
| [16:26] | but you cannot fix her. | 但你修不好她 |
| [16:43] | Your father just told me | 你爸刚告诉我 |
| [16:44] | he doesn’t want me to move in with him anymore | 他不想我搬去和他一起住 |
| [16:46] | and that he’s leaving tonight. | 他今晚就走 |
| [16:48] | What did you say to him? | 你对他说了什么 |
| [16:50] | All of this is a bad idea. | 这一切是坏主意 |
| [16:52] | And who are you to say it’s a bad idea? | 你凭什么说这是坏主意 |
| [16:56] | We will finish this conversation | 等奥利弗表演完 |
| [16:58] | after Oliver’s performance. | 我们再谈 |
| [16:59] | I was just telling her | 我只是告诉她 |
| [17:01] | that we need to stop talking. | 我们不能再说了 |
| [17:03] | Did you ask Santa for a roundhouse kick to the teeth? | 你对圣诞老人许的心愿是牙齿被回旋踢踢中吗 |
| [17:04] | ‘Cause you’re about to get it. | 你会如愿的 |
| [17:12] | You’re on in 15 seconds. | 你15秒后上场 |
| [17:14] | There you are. Did you fix it? | 你来了 修好了吗 |
| [17:16] | Well, I’m not gonna use the phrase “As good as new”… | 我不能说和新的一样 |
| [17:20] | Uh, yeah, how’s that? | 怎么样 |
| [17:23] | Not great. | 不太好 |
| [17:24] | – You’re on! – Go, go! | -到你了 -快 |
| [17:35] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [17:37] | I guess we can finish that conversation now. | 现在可以继续说了吧 |
| [17:42] | You need to get your nose out of our business. | 你不能管我们的事 |
| [17:45] | Why do you care what we do? | 你关心个什么劲 |
| [17:46] | I am not letting you chew him up and spit him out | 我不会让你把他嚼碎了又吐出来 |
| [17:48] | like you did before. | 像你以前一样 |
| [17:49] | What the hell do you know? | 你知道什么 |
| [17:51] | Lots! I grew up in that house! | 很多 我在那个家长大的 |
| [17:53] | Ugh! We’re in a lobby! | 我们在大厅 |
| [17:55] | I admit that things went south between me and your dad, | 我承认我和你爸有问题 |
| [17:58] | but we wanted different things. | 但当年我们所求不同 |
| [18:00] | That is not gonna happen this time. | 这次不会了 |
| [18:02] | Based on what?! | 凭什么 |
| [18:03] | Living with you! | 和你一起住 |
| [18:06] | Huh? | 什么 |
| [18:07] | Living with you and Greg these past few months, | 过去几个月和你与格雷格一起生活 |
| [18:10] | I’ve watched how you two work together. | 我看到你们如何相处 |
| [18:13] | I mean, you’re — you’re totally different, but — but… | 你们完全不同 但是 |
| [18:15] | I don’t know. You figure it out. | 你们想到办法 |
| [18:17] | You talk things through. | 你们通过商量解决 |
| [18:19] | You don’t have a fight and then fly off to another city | 你们不会吵架 然后飞到另一个城市 |
| [18:21] | to do tequila shots with Jan-Michael Vincent. | 和简迈克尔·文森特喝龙舌兰 |
| [18:25] | You taught me what marriage is. | 你教会我婚姻是什么 |
| [18:29] | I mean, I… | 我 |
| [18:30] | I didn’t get it the first time around with your dad, but… | 我第一次和你爸爸一起时没领悟 但是 |
| [18:34] | I think I get it now. | 现在我明白了 |
| [18:42] | There you go. | 好了 |
| [18:44] | Good as new. And that’s a watertight seal. | 和新的一样 这是防水密封的 |
| [18:46] | – You don’t even need a shoe. – Thanks, Grandpa. | -你连鞋子都不需要 -谢谢 外公 |
| [18:48] | We’re still going to the hospital, right? | 我们还是会去医院吧 |
| [18:50] | Oh, yeah. | 是 |
| [18:52] | – Dad? – Yeah. | -爸 -什么事 |
| [18:53] | I’d like you to meet somebody. | 我想介绍一个人给你认识 |
| [18:55] | Her name is Kathryn. | 她叫凯瑟琳 |
| [18:57] | I’m not gonna lie — she’s a lot, | 我不会说谎 她很麻烦 |
| [18:59] | but I think you’d make a great couple. | 但我觉得你们很般配 |
| [19:03] | You were right. | 你是对的 |
| [19:04] | This would make a good holiday movie. | 这的确是部不错的节日电影 |
| [19:07] | Excuse me. | 失陪 |
| [19:09] | I’m going to be in jail for Christmas. | 圣诞我要在牢里过了 |
| [19:23] | Despite my worst efforts, everyone got what they wanted. | 尽管我糟糕的努力 但大家都心愿达成 |
| [19:26] | I got my peaceful Christmas. | 我得到平静圣诞 |
| [19:28] | Greg is getting his office back. | 格雷格拿回了办公室 |
| [19:30] | Taylor got that over-priced bracelet, | 泰勒得到了贵死人的手镯 |
| [19:32] | not to mention theater tickets and a new boyfriend. | 更别说还有戏剧票和新男友 |
| [19:34] | Anna-Kat seems pretty excited | 安娜凯特似乎喜欢 |
| [19:36] | about that portable belt sander my dad got her. | 我爸送的便携带式砂磨机 |
| [19:39] | My mom got her soft landing. | 我妈找到了归宿 |
| [19:41] | Even Oliver kind of got what he wanted — | 就连奥利弗也得到他想要的 |
| [19:44] | to be the star of the show. | 成为节目的焦点 |
| [19:46] | They looped it! | 有人做了循环效果 |
| [19:50] | 3,000 likes?! | 3000个赞 |
| [19:53] | We need to make a follow-up right away. | 得马上有续集才行 |
| [19:55] | What do you think of “Mouse King tries to dunk | 鼠王想扣篮 |
| [19:58] | and pulls the hoop down on top of himself?” | 却把篮框砸在头上 怎么样 |
| [20:07] | She wasn’t invited, so I was all, | 她没被邀请 所以我说 |
| [20:08] | “Filly, don’t get in my muzzle with your cheap extensions!” | 小母马 你那便宜的假接毛不配用我的口套 |
| [20:14] | You just broke the nasty meter, Donatella. | 你真是贱到爆了 多纳泰拉 |
| [20:16] | No one wants you here, Sparkles. | 没人要你在这里 火花 |
| [20:18] | Your bloodline has no champions. | 你的家族没出过冠军 |
| [20:20] | Not for nothing, but I hear your grandmother | 出大事了 我听说你的奶奶 |
| [20:23] | was sired by a donkey. | 是驴子的种 |
| [20:24] | You two are just jealous | 你俩只是嫉妒 |
| [20:25] | because my bridle has diamonds on it, | 因为我的马勒上有钻石 |
| [20:27] | and my horseshoes cost more than your stables. | 我的马蹄铁比你们的马厩还贵 |
| [20:32] | Get out before I bite you in the withers! | 趁我没咬你的鬐甲 快滚 |
| [20:35] | Is that the butt? | 是屁股吗 |
| [20:36] | No, the neck! | 不 是脖子 |
| [20:39] | Drama and education | 狗血和教育 |
| [20:40] | this show has everything. | 这节目什么都有 |