| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Ohh! A brain freeze before 8:00 a.M. | 没到8点脑袋就冻到发痛 |
| [00:05] | This is living. | 这才是生活 |
| [00:06] | So, we’re just having ice cream for breakfast? | 早餐就吃冰淇淋吗 |
| [00:09] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [00:10] | You said in the week leading up to the Gala, | 你说过在晚会前一周 |
| [00:12] | you were gonna have your hands full. | 你会很忙 |
| [00:13] | So your instructions were to oliver? | 你的指令是…奥利弗 |
| [00:15] | As Mom said — and I quote — | 妈妈说的原话 |
| [00:17] | “Pretend I ran off to Mexico with a guy named Enrique. | 假装我和一个叫恩里克的男人私奔到了墨西哥 |
| [00:20] | You’re now a single father with three kids. | 你现在是带着三个孩子的单身父亲 |
| [00:22] | Parent as you will.” | 随你怎么当爹 |
| [00:23] | That was taken out of context. | 你们这是断章取义 |
| [00:24] | You’re right. The context was, | 你说得对 上下文是这样的 |
| [00:26] | “Parent as you will. | 随你怎么当爹 |
| [00:28] | And, Oliver, if you don’t stop writing this down, | 奥利弗 如果你还继续写 |
| [00:30] | I will stab that pen in your eye.” | 我会拿笔捅你的眼睛 |
| [00:31] | See? Now we see the full picture. But can I just say — | 瞧 现在有了大局观了 但我要说 |
| [00:34] | There also was a no-comment clause. | 还有不予置评的条款 |
| [00:36] | Fine. | 好 |
| [00:38] | I won’t comment on things — | 我不对以下事做出置评 |
| [00:40] | things like Anna-Kat not making her bed, | 安娜凯特没有铺床 |
| [00:42] | Taylor coming in past curfew, | 泰勒超过了宵禁时间才回来 |
| [00:44] | and Oliver heading to ballet practice | 奥利弗去上芭蕾课 |
| [00:45] | in his good recital leotard. | 穿的是最好的汇报课紧身裤 |
| [00:46] | Boys will be boys. | 男生就是男生 |
| [00:48] | You know what? Be fun all you want. | 知道吗 随便你们 |
| [00:49] | I’m not gonna let your happiness get me down. | 我不会让你们的快乐毁了我的心情 |
| [00:51] | You know, for the Gala being tomorrow, you seem relaxed. | 明天就是晚会了 你看上去很放松 |
| [00:53] | That’s because everything is in order. | 因为一切都井然有序 |
| [00:54] | All I have to do is drop off the fliers at school | 我要做的是去学校发传单 |
| [00:56] | to remind people to dress in Indian garb | 提醒大家穿印度装扮 |
| [00:58] | for the big Bollywood party. | 参加盛大宝莱坞派对 |
| [01:00] | I’m heading out. Do you want me to take the kids? | 我出发了 要我送孩子们吗 |
| [01:02] | No, thanks. I’m bringing them in late | 不用 谢谢 我等下送他们 |
| [01:04] | just to add a little fun to Fun Dad Friday. | 给有趣爸爸周五增加一点乐趣 |
| [01:07] | Head shakes are also commenting! | 摇头也是置评 |
| [01:10] | Dad, let’s blow off school | 爸 我们逃学 |
| [01:12] | and go visit Hans Gruber at the farm! | 去农场看汉斯·格鲁伯 |
| [01:14] | That would be classic Fun Dad. | 那将是经典的有趣爸爸 |
| [01:15] | Guys, that may be taking this too far. | 各位 这可能有点过了 |
| [01:17] | Remember three seconds ago when Dad was awesome? | 还记得三秒前爸爸好酷吗 |
| [01:20] | Hey, Boring Dad, where’s your shawl-collared sweater? | 无趣爸爸 你的和尚领毛衣呢 |
| [01:26] | Grant, cancel my office hours. | 格兰物 取消我的办公安排 |
| [01:29] | We’re going to a farm. | 我们要去农场 |
| [01:32] | This must be how Kenny G feels when he steps out onstage. | 肯尼G上台时肯定是这种感觉 |
| [01:44] | Hi, Principal Ablin. | 阿布林校长 |
| [01:46] | I hope you’ve got your sari ready | 希望你为明晚的晚会 |
| [01:47] | for the Gala tomorrow night. | 准备好了纱丽 |
| [01:49] | Actually, traditional Indian attire for men isn’t a sari. | 传统的印度男士盛装不是纱丽 |
| [01:52] | It’s called a kurta. | 而是库尔塔 |
| [01:53] | I have one in beautiful magenta silk | 我有一件非常漂亮的丝绸洋红色库尔塔 |
| [01:55] | that I picked up when I lived in an ashram outside of Varanasi. | 我住在瓦拉纳西外一处修行处时买的 |
| [01:58] | I was wracked with dysentery the entire time. | 我当时饱受痢疾的痛苦 |
| [02:00] | Bright side — got down to my Speedo weight. | 好的一面 瘦到可以穿三角泳裤 |
| [02:04] | So, there’s Penny’s classroom. | 这是佩妮的教室 |
| [02:05] | Now, get in there and make some crafts with the kids. | 快进去和孩子们做手工品 |
| [02:08] | I still don’t understand this. | 我还是不明白 |
| [02:09] | You’re room mother. Penny is your kid. | 你是班级妈妈 佩妮是你的孩子 |
| [02:11] | Why am I doing this? | 为什么我要做这个 |
| [02:12] | Because you work for me, you’re crafty, | 因为你为我工作 你手巧 |
| [02:14] | and you don’t have to worry about ruining your clothes | 你不必担心毁了这身衣服 |
| [02:16] | ’cause they’re so terrible. | 因为太难看了 |
| [02:17] | So, get in there. Bye! | 快进去 拜拜 |
| [02:19] | I called the Chamber of Commerce, | 我给商会打了电话 |
| [02:21] | and they said you’re paying me below minimum wage. | 他们说你给我的工资不到最低标准 |
| [02:23] | And I called the Chamber of Doughy, Pale Bodies, | 我打了电话给苍白协会 |
| [02:25] | and they said you’re their president. | 他们说你是他们的主席 |
| [02:26] | Now get in there and delight my daughter’s class! | 快进去让我女儿的班级开心 |
| [02:28] | Delight them! Get in there! | 让他们开心 快进去 |
| [02:32] | God, managing the help is so exhausting. | 管理佣人累死了 |
| [02:34] | Uhh, tell me about it. | 那可不是 |
| [02:35] | I’m going on vacation next week, and my packer’s appendix burst. | 我下周要度假 我的打包工的阑尾爆了 |
| [02:38] | It’s like, “Do it on your own time.” | “在自己的时间里爆去” |
| [02:40] | So, Katie, | 凯蒂 |
| [02:42] | tomorrow’s the big night! | 明晚就是重要的一晚了 |
| [02:44] | – Are you ready? – Yep. | -你准备好了吗 -好了 |
| [02:45] | I’ve got it all handled — | 一切都准备好了 |
| [02:47] | the food, the music, the flowers, | 食物 音乐 鲜花 |
| [02:48] | the magic, the mystery, the dance. | 魔力 神秘 舞蹈 |
| [02:51] | Do you know who else thought she had everything handled? | 你知道还有谁以为她把一切准备好了 |
| [02:53] | Last year’s Gala chairperson — Stacy Clouser. | 去年的晚会主席 史黛西·克劳泽 |
| [02:55] | Where are all my shrimp?! | 我的虾呢 |
| [02:58] | I ordered 6,000 shrimp! | 我订了6千只虾 |
| [03:00] | Stacy, are you okay? | 史黛西 你还好吗 |
| [03:02] | I’m fine. So fine. | 我很好 非常好 |
| [03:04] | They’re probably just buried under the ice. | 它们可能被埋在冰下了 |
| [03:06] | Ice. No, no, no! | 冰 不… |
| [03:08] | Oh, my God! This can’t be happening! | 我的天 这不可能 |
| [03:10] | Which one of you shrimp-stealers stole my shrimp?! | 你们哪个偷虾的偷了我的虾 |
| [03:13] | Open your purses! | 把包打开 |
| [03:14] | I said open them! | 我说了打开 |
| [03:16] | Well, you don’t need to worry about me. | 你不必担心我 |
| [03:19] | My Gala is gonna be amazing. | 我的晚会会超级棒 |
| [03:21] | I even got television’s Nathan Fillion | 我甚至安排了电视明星内森·菲利安 |
| [03:23] | riding in on an elephant, surrounded by Bollywood dancers. | 骑着大象 身边全是宝莱坞舞者 |
| [03:27] | But do you want to know what the best part is going to be? | 但你们知道最棒的部分会是什么吗 |
| [03:31] | Uh, it all falling apart and you being shunned? | 一切搞砸 大家都避开你 |
| [03:34] | Ooh! A shunning! I do love a good shunning. | 避开 我的确喜欢刻薄的避开 |
| [03:36] | You know, public shamings are more my thing, | 我更喜欢公开羞辱 |
| [03:38] | but shunnings are nice. | 但避开也不错 |
| [03:39] | No. | 不 |
| [03:40] | The best part is going to be the look on your sad, | 最棒的部分就是我贫民窟的百万富翁时 |
| [03:43] | gross faces when I Slumdog this millionaire! | 你们脸上可悲恶心的表情 |
| [03:47] | That actually didn’t make sense. | 这话根本说不通 |
| [03:48] | Oh, I am so proud of you, Katie! | 我真为你骄傲 凯蒂 |
| [03:51] | I mean, honestly, I was a little worried | 说实话 我有点担心 |
| [03:53] | that maybe you took on too much, | 你承受了太多 |
| [03:54] | but, ohh, you’re gonna be the toast of the town! | 但你会成为全城焦点 |
| [03:57] | Or just toast. | 或只是被烤焦 |
| [03:58] | Your Gala’s gonna suck. | 你的晚会肯定很烂 |
| [04:01] | Just so you know, this is why your husbands | 记住 就是因为这样 你们老公 |
| [04:04] | don’t have sex with you. | 才不和你们上床 |
| [04:08] | Everything will be set up tomorrow morning — | 明早一切都会准备好 |
| [04:10] | the tables, the stage goes over there, | 桌子 舞台在那边 |
| [04:12] | the champagne fountain goes there, | 香槟泉在这里 |
| [04:14] | and this is where I stand, | 而我站在这里 |
| [04:16] | receiving praise from all the other housewives. | 接受所有家庭主妇的赞美 |
| [04:18] | I plan on saying “Suck it!” A lot. | 我计划说很多遍”去死” |
| [04:20] | I will not be gracious. | 我不会留情 |
| [04:21] | Well, are you sure Nathan Fillion is gonna show? | 你确定内森·菲利安会出现吗 |
| [04:23] | Because those “Suck its” Aren’t gonna land | 因为没有他骑着大象进场 |
| [04:25] | unless you have him riding in on an elephant. | 你的”去死”没法说出口 |
| [04:27] | Yes. He gave me his word. | 是 他保证了 |
| [04:29] | And, more importantly, there was a sign. | 更重要的是 有征兆 |
| [04:31] | He opened a box of animal crackers, | 他打开了一盒动物饼干 |
| [04:33] | and it was all elephants. | 里面全是大象 |
| [04:34] | That doesn’t just happen. | 这可不常见 |
| [04:35] | Yes, it does, because it did. | 这很常见 |
| [04:36] | And he’s as bonkers as you are. | 他和你一样疯狂 |
| [04:40] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [04:41] | Beware. | 小心 |
| [04:42] | They’re out to get you. | 她们来对付你了 |
| [04:44] | Who’s this? | 你是谁 |
| [04:45] | My name is Stacy Clouser. | 我是史黛西·克劳泽 |
| [04:49] | They’re out to get you. | 她们来对付你了 |
| [04:51] | Who’s out to get me? | 谁来对付我了 |
| [04:53] | Them. | 她们 |
| [04:55] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [04:59] | That was Stacy Clouser. She said they’re out to get me. | 史黛西·克劳泽打来的 她说她们来对付我了 |
| [05:02] | It could be a sign — a bad sign. | 这可能是征兆 坏的征兆 |
| [05:05] | Can phone calls be signs? | 电话能是征兆吗 |
| [05:06] | Of course they can. | 当然可以 |
| [05:08] | Doris, I know it’s you. | 多瑞丝 我知道是你 |
| [05:09] | Just answer it. | 快接 |
| [05:11] | No. You’re just gonna make fun of me. | 不 你会取笑我 |
| [05:12] | Come on. It could be important. | 拜托 有可能是重要事 |
| [05:14] | Hi, Angela. It’s Doris. | 你好 安吉拉 我是多瑞丝 |
| [05:16] | You’re a nutjob! | 你是疯子 |
| [05:18] | Bye! | 拜 |
| [05:20] | You got a message. You should check it. | 你有信息 你应该听 |
| [05:24] | Hans Gruber looks happy. | 汉斯·格鲁伯看上去很开心 |
| [05:25] | I wonder if he can talk to the other animals, like in “Babe.” | 不知道它会不会像《小猪宝贝》里那样和别的动物说话 |
| [05:29] | What am I saying? Of course he can! | 我说什么呢 它当然可以 |
| [05:32] | Professor Otto! | 奥图教授 |
| [05:33] | Grant, what are you doing here? | 格兰特 你怎么来了 |
| [05:34] | You’re supposed to be at the university. | 你应该在大学里 |
| [05:35] | I’m your assistant. I’m here to assist. | 我是你的助手 我来协助你 |
| [05:37] | How did you even find me? | 你怎么找到我的 |
| [05:39] | I placed a Tile device in your wallet. | 我在你的钱包里放了定位设备 |
| [05:41] | I need to know where you are. | 我需要知道你在哪里 |
| [05:42] | That is very unsettling. | 这令人太不安了 |
| [05:44] | That doesn’t sound like a “Stop it”! | 听起来不像”住手” |
| [05:46] | Oh! Hey, look, a camel! | 看 骆驼 |
| [05:48] | My dad had a pet camel when I was growing up in India. | 我小时候在印度 我爸有只宠物骆驼 |
| [05:52] | You remind me of sweet Pepito. | 你让我想起可爱的佩比托 |
| [05:54] | Dad, can we have a pet camel? | 爸 我们能养宠物骆驼吗 |
| [05:56] | No. I’m sure he came to the animal sanctuary | 不行 我相信它来动物避难所 |
| [05:58] | because he’s not supposed to be a pet. | 是因为它不应该做宠物 |
| [06:00] | Just like Hans Gruber’s not supposed to be a pet. | 就像汉斯·格鲁伯不应该做宠物一样 |
| [06:02] | I understand. It’s not like a dog. | 我明白 跟狗不一样 |
| [06:05] | That’s right. A dog is a whole different story. | 没错 狗完全是另一回事 |
| [06:07] | Look, a dog! | 看 一只狗 |
| [06:12] | Can we have him? | 我们能养它吗 |
| [06:13] | A golden retriever is a pet! | 金毛犬是宠物 |
| [06:15] | Come on, Dad. We could use a smart blonde in the family. | 拜托 爸 我们家里需要一个聪明的金毛[金发妞] |
| [06:18] | No. We cannot bring home a dog. | 不 我们不能带狗回家 |
| [06:20] | It’s not even ours. Who says it’s even a rescue? | 它根本不是我们的 谁说它是被营救的狗 |
| [06:22] | I do. You want the dog? His name is Luthor. | 我说的 你想要这只狗吗 他叫卢瑟 |
| [06:25] | Please! Please! Please! | 求你了… |
| [06:26] | Please! | 求你了 |
| [06:28] | You’re wasting your breath. No dog. | 你们在浪费力气 不准养狗 |
| [06:31] | I already love him so much! | 我已经爱死它了 |
| [06:35] | That’s Mom’s car. | 妈妈的车 |
| [06:37] | We got to keep Luthor out of sight | 我们不能让她看到卢瑟 |
| [06:38] | until we make sure she’s in a dog-receptive state of mind. | 直到确定她在可接受狗的心理状态 |
| [06:41] | Fun Dad is no match for Mad Mom. | 有趣爸爸不是生气妈妈的对手 |
| [06:43] | Come on. | 快 |
| [06:47] | Tomorrow night calls for clear skies and multiple “Suck its.” | 明晚需要晴空和很多”去死” |
| [06:51] | Great. | 太好了 |
| [06:52] | Seems like you could take on anything right now. | 似乎现在你可以承受一切 |
| [06:53] | Yeah. I’m crushing it as Gala chair. | 对 我做晚会主席太牛逼了 |
| [06:58] | Principal Ablin, holla! | 阿布林校长 你好啊 |
| [07:03] | Come on. She’s in a perfect dog mood. She said “Holla.” | 快 她有养狗的心情 她说了”你好啊” |
| [07:05] | What?! Who says I can’t use an elephant for domestic purposes? | 什么 谁说我不能将大象用以民用 |
| [07:09] | Well, who the hell told PETA about it? | 谁告诉善待动物组织的 |
| [07:13] | The Gala is tomorrow, and you’re telling me I have no elephant?! | 明天就是晚会 你告诉我没有大象 |
| [07:17] | Mood has shifted. Mood has shifted. | 心情变了 心情变了 |
| [07:21] | Come on. | 快 |
| [07:32] | It’s a Bollywood event, and I lost my elephant. | 宝莱坞盛会 我却没有大象 |
| [07:34] | The only reason Nathan agreed to do this | 内森同意来的唯一原因 |
| [07:36] | was because elephants were a sign. | 是因为大象是征兆 |
| [07:38] | All right, calm down. We’ll figure it out. | 冷静 我们会想到办法 |
| [07:40] | I’m sure there are other things in India that people ride — | 我相信在印度人们会骑别的动物 |
| [07:42] | camels, for instance. | 比如说骆驼 |
| [07:44] | Camels weren’t a part of the sign, Greg. | 征兆里没有骆驼 格雷格 |
| [07:46] | Maybe he did have a sign with camels. You don’t know. | 也许他得到了骆驼的征兆 你不知道 |
| [07:47] | The Gala is tomorrow night. | 明晚就是晚会 |
| [07:49] | Where in the world would I get a camel? | 我去哪里找骆驼 |
| [07:50] | I can get you a camel. | 我可以帮你找骆驼 |
| [07:51] | You? You can get a camel? | 就你 你可以找到骆驼 |
| [07:54] | I have some mysteries up my sleeve. | 我还是有些秘密绝招的 |
| [07:56] | You think you know everything about me, but — | 你以为你知道我的一切 但是 |
| [07:58] | Is it the farm where we dropped off Hans Gruber? | 是收留汉斯·格鲁伯的农场吗 |
| [08:01] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [08:05] | Hey, Nathan! | 内森 |
| [08:06] | Hey, Katie. | 凯蒂 |
| [08:07] | I’m getting fitted for my kurta right now. | 我正在试穿库尔塔 |
| [08:09] | Looking good! So, I had a thought. | 好帅 我有个想法 |
| [08:12] | Instead of an elephant, which is always rampaging and stuff, | 与其要大象 它们总是发狂什么的 |
| [08:15] | how about a nice, reliable, friendly camel? | 来头可靠友好的骆驼怎么样 |
| [08:19] | Stop pinning. | 别插针了 |
| [08:20] | The sign was elephants. | 征兆是大象 |
| [08:22] | I mean, Katie, I’m not stupid. | 凯蒂 我不是傻瓜 |
| [08:24] | The only reason I’m doing this | 我这样做的唯一原因 |
| [08:25] | is because the box of cookies told me to do it. | 是因为一盒饼干让我这样做 |
| [08:31] | Oh, my God. That’s it! | 我的天 有了 |
| [08:33] | No problem. Elephant it is. | 没问题 就是大象 |
| [08:36] | Trunk, big ears, the whole thing. | 大鼻子大耳朵 什么都有 |
| [08:38] | Keep pinning! | 继续插针 |
| [08:43] | See? It’s about a monkey who wants to be a toucan, | 瞧 这是一只想做犀鸟的猴子 |
| [08:46] | so he made himself a colorful beak and cut off his tail. | 所以他给自己做了彩色的鸟嘴 并剪了尾巴 |
| [08:49] | I think it’s supposed to be | 我想这本书旨在 |
| [08:50] | about accepting people who are transitioning. | 让人接受变性人 |
| [08:53] | I don’t know what Chloe’s told you, but I was born a woman. | 我不知道克洛伊怎么说的 我生来就是女人 |
| [08:55] | That’s not it. | 不是这个意思 |
| [08:56] | I called you over because I know how good you are with crafts. | 我叫你过来 是因为我知道你有多手巧 |
| [08:59] | So, could you make me a trunk and ears that fits on a camel | 你能帮我做个象鼻子和耳朵 给骆驼戴上 |
| [09:04] | so it looks like an elephant? | 让它看起来像大象吗 |
| [09:06] | I could, but Chloe would be so mad | 我能 但如果克洛伊发现我帮你 |
| [09:08] | if she found out I helped you. | 她会气死的 |
| [09:10] | I’m in. | 我同意 |
| [09:11] | And make sure to tell her it was me. | 确保告诉她是我做的 |
| [09:14] | Actually, don’t. She scares me. | 别说 我怕她 |
| [09:15] | I was brave for a second. | 我勇敢了一刻 |
| [09:21] | Hi, Katie! | 凯蒂 |
| [09:23] | We were just talking about you behind your back. | 我们刚刚背着你在谈论你 |
| [09:26] | I wasn’t. | 我没有 |
| [09:28] | Well, sometimes I nod along, | 有时候我会点头 |
| [09:30] | but otherwise, no one would hang out with me. | 否则没人愿意和我玩 |
| [09:32] | It’s okay, Suzanne. | 没事 苏珊 |
| [09:34] | I know you have a good heart… | 我知道你心底善良 |
| [09:37] | unlike you three | 不像你们三个 |
| [09:40] | That’s the worst possible word you could use! | 这是你能够用的最可怕的字眼 |
| [09:42] | Well, now, it’s my favorite word. | 现在是我最喜欢的字眼 |
| [09:43] | Katie, why are you even here? | 凯蒂 你来做什么 |
| [09:44] | To let you know your little plan to call PETA | 告诉你们 你们通知善待动物组织 |
| [09:47] | to screw up Castle riding in on an elephant isn’t gonna work. | 让卡塞尔不能骑大象的小伎俩不管用 |
| [09:51] | Anyone know what she’s talking about? | 有人知道她在说什么吗 |
| [09:53] | No clue. | 不清楚 |
| [09:53] | I’m still processing what she called us. | 我还在消化她对我们的称呼 |
| [09:55] | I mean, there’s a line. | 注意底限 |
| [09:56] | Oh, save it. | 省省吧 |
| [09:57] | I know one of you is “Them.” | 我知道你们中有一人是”她们” |
| [09:59] | Guys, check it out. | 你们看 |
| [10:01] | She’s starting to go full-on Stacy Clouser. | 她开始史黛西·克劳泽附身了 |
| [10:03] | She’s Clousin’ out! | 她变身克劳泽了 |
| [10:05] | One ticket to Clouse town! | 去克劳泽镇的单程票 |
| [10:06] | Send in the Clouse! | 让克劳泽上场 |
| [10:08] | Clousin’ time! | 克劳泽时间 |
| [10:09] | No, Nancy. No. | 不 南希 |
| [10:11] | I am not Stacy Clouser! | 我不是史黛西·克劳泽 |
| [10:12] | I am Katie Otto, | 我是凯蒂·奥图 |
| [10:14] | and you might as well give it up, | 你们最好放弃 |
| [10:15] | because my Gala is gonna rule. | 因为我的晚会会嗨翻全场 |
| [10:18] | So long | 再见 |
| [10:26] | I worked all night on this so you’d have it in time | 我做了一晚 这样你能准时 |
| [10:28] | for the Gala this evening. | 用于今晚的晚会 |
| [10:30] | Burned myself a few times with the hot-glue gun. | 被热溶胶枪烫了几次 |
| [10:32] | It was nice to feel something. | 有感觉太好了 |
| [10:33] | Maria! This is amazing! | 玛丽亚 这太了不起了 |
| [10:36] | You’re right. I never should have bothered. | 你说得对 我根本不该费神 |
| [10:37] | No! I love it! | 不 我好喜欢 |
| [10:39] | Exactly. I do suck. | 对 我很差劲 |
| [10:42] | You really think Nathan Fillion will go for it? | 你真觉得内森·菲利安会相信吗 |
| [10:44] | I mean, he is gonna notice it’s a dressed-up camel. | 他会发现这是乔装的骆驼 |
| [10:45] | Greg, he played a detective on TV. | 格雷格 他在电视上演侦探 |
| [10:48] | He’s not one in real life. | 他不是真的侦探 |
| [10:49] | So, you’re in a good place? | 你心情好 |
| [10:51] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [10:52] | Great. I’m gonna go get the kids. | 太好了 我叫孩子们 |
| [10:53] | – Why? – You’ll see. | -为什么 -你会知道的 |
| [10:56] | Hey, Doris. What’s happening at the Carson House? | 多瑞丝 卡森宅怎么样了 |
| [10:58] | There is nothing happening. Nothing’s been set up. | 什么都没做 什么都没搭好 |
| [11:01] | Nothing has even been delivered! | 什么都没送过来 |
| [11:04] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
| [11:06] | Everything was supposed to be dropped off this morning. | 所有东西应该早上送去 |
| [11:08] | I know. That’s why I called your vendors and the caterers, | 我知道 所以我打电话给供应商和宴席承办商 |
| [11:11] | and everyone said you canceled everything last week. | 所有人都说你上周取消了所有东西 |
| [11:14] | But I didn’t cancel anything. | 但我什么也没取消 |
| [11:17] | Those dirty, little… | 那些肮脏的小… |
| [11:20] | Katie, I know you’re upset, | 凯蒂 我知道你生气 |
| [11:21] | but it’s never okay to use that word. | 但永远不能用这个词 |
| [11:23] | Mood has shifted. Mood has shifted. Go! | 心情变了 快走 |
| [11:38] | They did it, Greg. They beat me. | 她们做到了 格雷格 她们战胜了我 |
| [11:40] | They canceled my caterer, the dancers, | 她们取消了宴席承办商 舞者 |
| [11:42] | my champagne fountain, everything. | 香槟泉 所有的 |
| [11:44] | People are going to show up, | 人们去到现场 |
| [11:45] | and there’s literally going to be nothing there. | 那里什么也没有 |
| [11:49] | The Gala’s ruined. So am I. | 晚会毁了 我也一样 |
| [11:52] | I’m done in this town. | 我在这里完了 |
| [11:53] | And we’re gonna have to move out of Westport. | 我们必须搬离西港 |
| [11:56] | We won’t have to move. | 我们不必搬家 |
| [11:56] | You’re right. It’s my shame. | 你说得对 这是我的耻辱 |
| [11:58] | You and the kids stay. I’ll go to Mexico with Enrique. | 你和孩子们留下 我和恩里克去墨西哥 |
| [12:00] | Hey! Pull it together! | 振作起来 |
| [12:02] | You are Katie Otto. | 你是凯蒂·奥图 |
| [12:03] | You have stood up for the downtrodden, the poorly dressed, | 你曾经反抗压迫 着装不得体 |
| [12:05] | the larger gals, the people who don’t believe | 更胖的女生 不相信在飞机上 |
| [12:07] | opening a bag of peanuts on an airplane | 打开一袋花生 |
| [12:09] | can really get someone sick 10 rows away. | 能让十排以外的人恶心的人 |
| [12:11] | How did this happen?! | 怎么会这样 |
| [12:12] | The woman who criticized all the busybodies in this town — | 那个批评全城八婆的女人 |
| [12:14] | with their hysterics and their events | 批评她们的歇斯底里 做作 |
| [12:17] | and their wastes of feminine energy — | 她们浪费女性能量 |
| [12:19] | is defeated, curled up | 如今被打败 蜷缩成一团 |
| [12:21] | because she can’t get her champagne fountain! | 因为她得不到她的香槟泉 |
| [12:23] | Why are you yelling at me? | 你为什么吼我 |
| [12:24] | Because you’re trying to throw this Gala | 因为你想用西港家庭主妇的办法 |
| [12:25] | the Westport housewife way, not the Katie Otto way. | 而不是凯蒂·奥图的办法 来办这场晚会 |
| [12:28] | My Katie Otto would never let those bitches | 我的凯蒂·奥图永远不会让那些贱人 |
| [12:30] | get the better of her. | 战胜自己 |
| [12:31] | That’s right. I threw down the B-word. | 没错 我说了贱人 |
| [12:33] | This isn’t the woman I married. | 这不是我娶的女人 |
| [12:35] | The woman I married wouldn’t give up. | 我娶的女人不会放弃 |
| [12:37] | You know what she would do? | 你知道她会做什么 |
| [12:38] | What would she do? | 她会做什么 |
| [12:39] | She would get off that couch and figure out a way | 她会从沙发上起来 想到办法 |
| [12:41] | to throw the Gala her way, not their way. | 按自己的方式办晚会 不是她们的方式 |
| [12:44] | But how am I going to put together an entire Gala in eight hours? | 但我怎么在8小时内搞定一场晚会 |
| [12:47] | – With me. – With us. | -有我一起 -还有我们 |
| [12:48] | We’ve got your back. | 我们支持你 |
| [12:50] | Ottos never quit! | 奥图永不放弃 |
| [12:58] | I threw Karen Nelson’s hysterectomy party together | 我几分钟就准备好凯伦·尼尔逊的 |
| [13:00] | in minutes — 150 guests. | 子宫切除派对 150名宾客 |
| [13:02] | I made that papier-mâché “Adios to your uterus” Piñata | 我在客人到场前才做完纸浆皮纳塔 |
| [13:05] | moments before the guests arrived. | 上面写着”告别你的子宫” |
| [13:07] | That’s right, you did. | 没错 你做到了 |
| [13:08] | I can do this! | 我可以做到 |
| [13:09] | Damn straight you can! | 你当然可以 |
| [13:10] | So, you’re in a good place? | 你心情好吗 |
| [13:11] | Yeah. I’m in a great place. | 相当好 |
| [13:15] | Good, ’cause we got a dog. | 很好 因为我们养了只狗 |
| [13:20] | Okay, people, we’ve got five hours to transform this place | 各位 我们有五小时把这个地方 |
| [13:23] | into a Bollywood extravaganza. | 变成宝莱坞盛会 |
| [13:25] | Doris, I need you to go to the outlet store | 多瑞丝 我要你去工厂代销店 |
| [13:27] | and get as many candles, rugs, and throw pillows | 买蜡烛 地毯 抱枕 |
| [13:29] | – as you can. – Outlet store?! | -尽量多买 -工厂代销店 |
| [13:31] | Fine. I’ll do it because we’re friends. | 好 我去买 因为我们是朋友 |
| [13:32] | But I am paying full price! | 但我会出全价 |
| [13:34] | We need decorations that are on-theme. | 我们需要主题装饰品 |
| [13:35] | Angela, can we borrow some of the Buddhist stuff | 安吉拉 可以借你家里的 |
| [13:37] | that you have at your house? | 佛教东西吗 |
| [13:39] | Greg, you and the recycling committee, | 格雷格 你和回收委员会 |
| [13:40] | go pick up the Buddha, string lights, | 去取佛像 挂上灯 |
| [13:42] | and then get started cleaning out the trash cans | 然后开始清理垃圾箱 |
| [13:44] | for the trash-can punch. | 做垃圾箱潘趣酒 |
| [13:45] | Okay, we need dancers. | 我们需要舞者 |
| [13:46] | I’ll ask my ballet class to help. | 我会叫芭蕾班同学帮忙 |
| [13:48] | Great! Okay, let me see what else. | 太好了 我想想还有什么 |
| [13:49] | Uh, I don’t know, Mom. Food? | 我不知道 妈 食物 |
| [13:51] | Right. Forgot about that. | 对 忘了这点 |
| [13:52] | Does anyone know where we could get Indian food | 有人知道今天4点前 在哪里可以弄到印度食物 |
| [13:54] | for 200 people by 4:00 today? | 够200人吃 |
| [13:56] | I have an idea! | 我有主意 |
| [13:58] | Grant! I took the Tile out of my wallet. | 格兰特 我把定位设备从钱包里取出来了 |
| [14:00] | How did you find me? | 你怎么找到我的 |
| [14:01] | I followed you home from the farm, | 我从农场跟踪你回家 |
| [14:02] | broke into your car, and hid in your trunk — | 偷偷上你的车 藏在后备箱 |
| [14:04] | like any good assistant would. | 任何好助理都会这样做 |
| [14:05] | Let’s blow past how creepy that was | 先别说这有多变态 |
| [14:06] | and focus on how you can help me. | 专注于你怎么帮我 |
| [14:08] | My uncle owns an Indian food-truck business. | 我的叔叔有自己的印度菜餐车生意 |
| [14:10] | I can ask if he knows someone. | 我可以问他是否认识能提供食物的人 |
| [14:12] | How about your uncle? | 不如问你叔叔 |
| [14:13] | Oh, yeah! I can make that happen! | 是 没问题 |
| [14:14] | Grant, I love you! | 格兰特 我爱你 |
| [14:16] | And I love your husband! | 我爱你老公 |
| [14:17] | What do you say, people?! Let’s do this thing! | 怎么样 各位 我们开始 |
| [14:19] | All right! | 好的 |
| [14:20] | Come on, guys. | 来吧 各位 |
| [14:21] | Oh…my God, Katie. | 我的天 凯蒂 |
| [14:24] | Last year, it was just the shrimp that ran out, | 去年 只有虾没有了 |
| [14:26] | but you don’t have anything. | 但你什么也没有 |
| [14:28] | The Gala is five hours away, | 五小时后就是晚会 |
| [14:29] | and you have nothing but an empty tent. | 除了空帐篷 你什么都没有 |
| [14:32] | I’m gonna be the first one here | 我会第一个到场 |
| [14:33] | so I can watch you crash and burn. | 这样可以看到你崩溃 |
| [14:36] | So you just happened to be strolling by | 你恰好在晚会搞砸之前 |
| [14:38] | moments after the Gala fell apart? | 路经此地吗 |
| [14:41] | Stupid Tara — unlike your husband, I’m all over you. | 愚蠢的泰拉 和你老公不同 我时刻在关注你 |
| [14:52] | Stacy? It’s Katie Otto. | 史黛西 我是凯蒂·奥图 |
| [14:54] | I’m calling to tell you that you were right. | 我打来是告诉你 你是对的 |
| [14:56] | Someone is messing with my Gala, | 有人破坏了我的晚会 |
| [14:59] | and they messed with yours, too. | 也破坏了你的 |
| [15:00] | I knew it! | 我就知道 |
| [15:02] | Someone canceled your shrimp order. | 有人取消了你订的虾 |
| [15:04] | Damn right they did! | 她们当然取消了 |
| [15:06] | Not “They.” She. | 不是她们 是她 |
| [15:08] | Tara Summers. | 泰拉·萨莫斯 |
| [15:10] | Tara Summers? | 泰拉·萨莫斯 |
| [15:11] | Tara Summers! | 泰拉·萨莫斯 |
| [15:13] | Which one is Tara Summers? | 哪一个是泰拉·萨莫斯 |
| [15:15] | Blonde-ish. Smells like tofu. | 头发偏金 一身豆腐味 |
| [15:16] | Tara Summers! | 泰拉·萨莫斯 |
| [15:21] | You see, Marmalade? | 桔子酱 |
| [15:22] | I am not crazy. | 我没疯 |
| [15:24] | Okay, guys, in the tent by the table. | 放在桌边的帐篷里 |
| [15:29] | Come on, just like Rajnee showed us on YouTube. | 就像拉杰在网上跳的 |
| [15:31] | Screw in the light bulb. | 拧灯泡 |
| [15:33] | Screw in the light bulb. | 拧灯泡 |
| [15:49] | I said just a splash, Maria! | 我说了洒一点 玛丽亚 |
| [15:52] | Those tulips aren’t you and your gal pals | 这些郁金香不是你和你的闺蜜们 |
| [15:54] | at Bennigan’s for happy hour! | 在班尼根酒吧喝打折酒 |
| [15:57] | Nailed it! | 说得好 |
| [16:08] | Now, pet the dog. | 摸狗狗 |
| [16:10] | Pet the dog. | 摸狗狗 |
| [16:19] | Oh, my God. This is so good. | 我的天 真好喝 |
| [16:21] | I know. | 是啊 |
| [16:23] | I’m gonna get all “Lose my shoes, tell my kids I love ’em” Drunk. | 我会醉到”脱掉鞋子 告诉我的孩子们我爱他们” |
| [16:39] | Thank you! | 谢谢 |
| [16:40] | I love your husband. | 我爱你的老公 |
| [16:41] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [16:46] | I was wracked with dysentery the whole time, | 我一直遭受痢疾的痛苦 |
| [16:49] | but bright side — I got down to my Speedo weight. | 但好的一面 我瘦到可以穿三角泳裤 |
| [16:54] | This is so good. | 太好喝了 |
| [16:55] | From now on, I’m only drinking out of garbage cans. | 从现在开始 我只喝垃圾箱里的东西 |
| [16:59] | I can’t believe this all came together. | 不敢相信居然搞定了 |
| [17:01] | I am so proud of you. | 我真为你骄傲 |
| [17:03] | You know, one thing I will give to you poors — | 对你们穷人我有一样很佩服 |
| [17:04] | you are resourceful. | 你们真是神通广大 |
| [17:06] | Well, stupid, stupid Tara, | 愚蠢愚蠢的泰拉 |
| [17:09] | even with you doing all that you could do to sabotage my Gala, | 尽管你尽一切能力破坏我的晚会 |
| [17:13] | I still pulled it off. | 我依然完成了 |
| [17:15] | Katie, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking — | 凯蒂 我真的不知道你在说什么 |
| [17:20] | I knew I ordered enough shrimp! | 我知道我订了足够多的虾 |
| [17:22] | Get — | 拉… |
| [17:24] | Get her off me! | 拉她下去 |
| [17:25] | You ruined my life! | 你毁了我的人生 |
| [17:27] | Everyone thought I was crazy! | 所有人以为我是疯子 |
| [17:29] | Well, I’m not crazy! | 我不是疯子 |
| [17:31] | You did this to me! | 是你害我的 |
| [17:34] | Help me! Help me! | 救命 救命 |
| [17:35] | Let ’em go. | 让她们打 |
| [17:38] | Katie, I hate to admit it, but this Gala is amazing. | 凯蒂 我不想承认 但晚会太棒了 |
| [17:41] | I mean, best ever. | 有史以来最棒的 |
| [17:43] | Thank you so much. | 非常感谢 |
| [17:45] | And, ladies, I mean this from the bottom of my heart… | 女士们 我是真心说这句话 |
| [17:49] | Suck it! | 去死 |
| [17:55] | Clouser’s back! | 克劳泽回来了 |
| [17:58] | – She is the best! – I’ve always liked her. | -她是最棒的 -我一直喜欢她 |
| [18:01] | It wasn’t me! | 不是我 |
| [18:02] | Yeah, right. | 才怪 |
| [18:04] | If it wasn’t you, then who? | 如果不是你 那是谁 |
| [18:06] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [18:07] | Why do I sabotage the Gala every year? | 我为什么要破坏每年的晚会 |
| [18:10] | Is it because chaos turns me on? | 是因为混乱让我兴奋 |
| [18:12] | Or maybe these Mexican diet pills are making me psychotic. | 还是这些墨西哥减肥药让我疯狂 |
| [18:15] | Katie! | 凯蒂 |
| [18:16] | This punch is so yummy! | 潘趣酒太好喝了 |
| [18:19] | Suzanne, you’re the best. | 苏珊 你最好了 |
| [18:44] | Oh, my gosh. It really is Nathan Fillion. | 我的天 真是内森·菲利安 |
| [18:47] | And he’s riding on a — What the hell is that? | 他骑着…那是什么鬼东西 |
| [18:51] | I’m at a Gala in Westport riding a camel | 我在西港的晚会上骑着一头 |
| [18:53] | disguised as an elephant, and I’ve never felt more alive! | 扮成大象的骆驼 我从未觉得如此有活力 |
| [18:58] | How did you know he’d go for the camel-elephant? | 你怎么知道他会接受骆驼象 |
| [19:00] | Well, Anna-Kat and I prepared him a little snack | 晚会前他来到家里 安娜凯特和我 |
| [19:02] | when he stopped by before the Gala. | 为他准备了零食 |
| [19:05] | Elephant. | 大象 |
| [19:07] | Camel. | 骆驼 |
| [19:10] | It’s all elephants and camels. | 全是大象和骆驼 |
| [19:13] | It’s another sign. | 又一征兆 |
| [19:15] | Cookies, you’ve done it again. | 饼干们 你们又做到了 |
| [19:19] | You did it. | 你成功了 |
| [19:22] | I did do it. | 我成功了 |
| [19:24] | I thought you’d say, “We did it,” But all right. | 我以为你会说”我们成功了” 不过没关系 |
| [19:26] | How about this — I did it, | 这样说怎么样 我成功了 |
| [19:29] | but I couldn’t have done it without you. | 但没有你我不可能成功 |
| [19:32] | Better. | 有进步 |
| [20:17] | – A-mark. – Oh, my God! | -打板 -我的天 |
| [20:20] | I feel like my eyes are dry-heaving! | 我觉得我的眼睛在干呕 |
| [20:23] | What? We’re just showing that we like each other. | 怎么了 我们只是表现出喜欢彼此 |
| [20:26] | Yeah. D really laid it on me! | 对 D真是压住我了 |
| [20:31] | I couldn’t breathe! | 我喘不过气 |
| [20:34] | All right, I don’t use it very much, | 我不经常用它 |
| [20:35] | but I’m kind of fond of it, so… there we go. | 但我还算喜欢它 所以 好了 |
| [20:43] | Action. | 开拍 |
| [20:45] | Mama, Daddy, guess…Yes, that was wrong. | 妈妈爸爸 猜猜 错了 |
| [20:53] | You all right? | 你还好吗 |
| [20:54] | Back in my day, if you wanted to cheat, | 我年轻时候 如果想作弊 |
| [20:56] | you’d just write the formula on your upper thigh. Did I get it? | 把公式写在大腿上就行 可以吗 |
| [21:00] | Great. But then I just stopped and I ruined it, so…That’s awesome! | 很好 但我停下来毁了 太棒了 |
| [21:05] | At somebody’s convenience, | 有人方便吗 |
| [21:07] | may I get some Tums? | 能给我抗胃酸咀嚼片吗 |
| [21:09] | I had a doughnut and bacon, and I’m regretting every choice. | 我吃了甜甜圈和培根 我后悔每一个选择 |
| [21:13] | – Was that it? – Yes. Lovely. Do it again. | -是这样吗 -对 很好 再来一次 |
| [21:16] | Love. | 很好 |