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美式主妇(American Housewife)第2季第14集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 美式主妇(American Housewife)第2季第14集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:01] Do you know Chloe Brown Mueller 你知道克洛伊·布朗·米勒
[00:03] is running for Fairfield County councilperson? 要参选费尔菲尔德县议员吗
[00:06] I’ve been trying to think of a way to deface her lawn signs 我一直在琢磨怎么把她竞选标牌上的字母
[00:09] by rearranging the letters in her name. 改变一下顺序来羞辱她
[00:11] Cross out the “C” and the “H”, 把克留下
[00:13] slip in an “S”, add an “R”. 划掉”洛与依”改成”夫相”
[00:14] It spells “loser”. 就变成”克夫相”啦
[00:15] Ah. Sounds like a lot of work. 感觉好麻烦啊
[00:17] I think I’ll just draw penises on them. 我就往她竞选标牌上画鸡鸡吧
[00:21] Anna-Kat, how many times have I told you? 安娜凯特 要我跟你说多少次
[00:23] Do not feed Hans Gruber from the table. 不要喂它餐桌上的食物
[00:25] He’s only gaining 10 pounds a day. 它每天只长9斤肉
[00:27] He’s wasting away to nothing! 它都要瘦没了
[00:29] Hans, go! 汉斯 走开
[00:33] Oliver, dinner table — now. 奥利弗 现在就来吃饭
[00:35] I’m waiting for my Mandarin grade to post. 我在等着我的中文课成绩呢
[00:37] Why are you so worked up about this grade? 为什么你对成绩这么上心
[00:39] You always get straight A’s. 你不是总得全优吗
[00:41] I know I do, but Jeremy Fleisher’s 是啊 但杰里米·弗莱舍
[00:43] gonna obliterate the curve in my Mandarin class. 会大大影响我中文课班级的分数曲线
[00:45] How do you know that? 何以见得
[00:46] His parents just brought him 他父母圣诞节
[00:47] a 12-year-old from China for Christmas. 给他弄了一个12岁的中国男孩
[00:49] His parents brought him a 12-year-old human being? 他父母给他买了12岁的人类吗
[00:52] No, it’s a foreign exchange program. 不是 是对外交流计划的孩子
[00:54] They’re supposed to teach the kid English, 本来应该是他家教那孩子英语
[00:56] but instead, they make him tutor Jeremy in Mandarin. 但他们反过来 要那个孩子教杰里米中文
[01:00] – Could I please have more… – Unh-unh-unh! You know the rules. -我能再要一点… -这样不行 你懂规矩的
[01:12] Grades are in. 分数来了
[01:17] I got a B-plus?! 我只得到了B+吗
[01:18] My life is ruined! 我这辈子毁了
[01:20] Ruined! 彻底毁啦
[01:21] A B-plus is great. B+不错啦
[01:22] Of course you think a B-plus is great — 你当然觉得B+不错啦
[01:23] ’cause your life is a C-minus! 你的人生也就是个C-
[01:26] Calm…down! 给老娘冷静下来
[01:29] You’re in eighth grade. Eighth grade doesn’t count. 你才8年级 8年级的成绩不算数
[01:32] It all counts! It all counts! 都算数 所有成绩都算数
[01:34] He’s really worked up. 他真的很激动啊
[01:35] He’s doing that thing where he repeats everything. 他开始发作 一句话说两遍了
[01:37] Honey, let me give you some perspective. 亲爱的 让我给你分析一下
[01:38] Take your father and me. 就拿你爸爸跟我来说
[01:39] He was obsessed with grades. 他当年也对分数很执着
[01:42] Me — I didn’t worry so much and just enjoyed my life. 而我成绩从不放心上 尽情享受人生
[01:46] Guess what. 你猜怎么着
[01:47] We wound up in the same place — 我们最后还是沦落到同一个地方
[01:49] same house. 同一屋檐下
[01:51] Actually, I’m doing a little better 其实我混得还比他好
[01:52] because I don’t have to go to work. 毕竟老娘不用去工作
[01:54] And you don’t have to wear real pants if you don’t want to. 而且如果你不想 就可以不穿真正的裤子
[01:56] And I don’t have to wear real pants if I don’t want to! 而且我不想就可以不穿真正的裤子
[01:59] I’m on a track, and it starts here. 这里是我人生康庄大道的起点
[02:01] I have to become valedictorian, 我必须得成为最优秀毕业生代表
[02:02] then it goes Harvard, Wharton, Goldman Sachs, 然后去哈佛大学 沃顿商学院 高盛投资公司
[02:05] then a remodel in the Hamptons 然后我的第二任娇妻
[02:07] that my second wife can busy herself with. 就会忙着装修我在富人度假区的别墅
[02:09] I’m probably gonna like your first wife. 我估计会比较喜欢你第一任妻子
[02:11] Don’t be mad when I maintain a relationship with her. 你们离婚后我跟她保持联系可别怨我
[02:16] He puts way too much pressure on himself. 他给自己添加太大的压力了
[02:17] I know. This is getting out of hand. 对啊 有点失控了
[02:19] Do you think he should talk to somebody? 你觉得该找人去跟他谈谈吗
[02:21] He’s not listening to us. 他也不听我们说
[02:22] Someone to give him a little perspective. 找个能给他点真知灼见的人
[02:23] Yeah. 对
[02:24] And I think I know just the person. 我知道谁是最适合的人选
[02:27] I don’t even know why I’m here. 我都不知道我为什么要来这里
[02:29] You’re here because you need my help. 你来是因为你需要我的帮助
[02:31] You need to learn how to take your mind off of school. 你得学会怎么让自己从学业上放松
[02:33] I saw this YouTube video about this girl 我在网上看过一个视频
[02:35] who was really driven, like you, 是一个跟你一样很有干劲的姑娘
[02:37] and she eventually cracked up and got Auto-Tuned into a song. 她最后崩溃了 还被人改了首洗脑歌
[02:40] The song is really funny 那首歌超好笑呢
[02:41] if you forget that she’s dead inside. 只要你不去想这女的已经疯了
[02:43] Okay, dumb Yoda, 行吧 白痴版读心术大师
[02:45] what advice do you have for me? 那你有什么建议可以给我
[02:46] Start binge-watching something. It’ll help turn your brain off. 开始疯狂看剧 能让你的脑子停止运转
[02:49] Easier for you, ’cause yours was never on. 对你来说当然简单 你脑子就没运转过
[02:51] You should listen to me. 你应该听我的话
[02:53] Watch a dozen seasons of “Grey’s Anatomy” in a row. 一次看个几季的”实习医生格蕾”
[02:56] You’re not gonna care if you get into Harvard or not 看了以后 你才不会在意上没上哈佛
[02:57] once you’ve seen a bomb 毕竟你可是连
[02:58] get pulled out of a body for the fourth time. 从人体里取出炸弹都看过好几次的人
[03:00] Hey, I am going to Harvard! 我一定会上哈佛
[03:02] I even practice that phony evasive thing 我甚至都已经练习了假谦虚
[03:04] where I tell people I go to college in Boston. 跟别人说我在波士顿读大学的招数
[03:07] “Oh. B.U.?” “你是在波士顿大学读书吗”
[03:09] “No — Harvard”. “不是 是在哈佛大学”
[03:18] Ni ai wo ma. 你爱我吗
[03:20] Ni ai wo ma. 你爱我吗
[03:23] – Ni ai wo ma. – Ni ai wo ma. -你爱我吗 -你爱我吗
[03:27] Ni ai wo ma. 你爱我吗
[03:28] Oliver, why aren’t you in bed? 奥利弗 你为什么不睡觉
[03:30] I’m practicing my Mandarin. 我在练习中文
[03:31] I’m using Taylor’s stolen Netflix password 我用泰勒偷来的在线网站密码
[03:33] to watch a Chinese soap opera. 在看中文肥皂剧
[03:35] It’s 2:30 in the morning. You need to get some sleep. 都半夜2点半了 你不睡觉怎么行
[03:38] You keep this up, you’ll burn out before high school ends 你这么搞 你高中毕业前就会倦怠
[03:40] and end up at some safety school. 之后就只能去你的保底学校
[03:42] I’m not going to Cornell! 我才不去康奈尔[顶级名校]
[03:44] Come on! 给我起来
[03:49] Bed. 去睡觉
[03:53] That sounded a little like “Go yourself”. 听起来感觉有点像”去你的”啊
[04:01] I’m worried about Oliver. 我好担心奥利弗
[04:03] He’s obsessed with his grades and not enjoying his life. 他把分数看得好重 搞得生活都不开心
[04:06] He wants to go to SAT camp this summer. 他暑假还想去上高考冲刺营
[04:08] Can you believe that’s a thing? 你敢信居然有这种东西吗
[04:09] Oh, yeah — I lied about my kids’ ages 知道啊 我谎报了我孩子的年纪
[04:11] so they could start when they were 6. 让他们在6岁的时候就进去了
[04:12] They have no fun activities — just studying. 里面没有任何娱乐活动 只有学习
[04:14] Oh, and I checked the box saying they could hit them. 我还勾选了同意老师体罚选项
[04:17] Ugh. Remember when we thought having that baby would soften you up? 还记得当年我们觉得生孩子会让你心软吗
[04:22] We were so stupid. 我们可真傻啊
[04:26] Hello, ladies! 姑娘们好啊
[04:27] Be very still. Her vision is based on movement. 千万别动 毒蛇看不到静止的生物
[04:33] You are so funny! 您可真会说笑
[04:35] Hey, would you mind putting one of my campaign signs 你介意把我的竞选标牌插到你家
[04:38] in your teeny, tiny yard? 迷你袖珍的前院草地上吗
[04:39] Why would you want your sign in my yard? 你为啥会想插你的标牌在我家草坪
[04:42] All you ever do is insult my house. 你从来没说过我家一句好话
[04:44] That was just playfully joking around! 那只是跟你嬉闹开玩笑嘛
[04:47] Right, Maria? 对吧 玛丽亚
[04:47] Tell Katie I’m funny and I like to joke around. 跟凯蒂说我很搞笑 就喜欢跟人开玩笑
[04:50] You’re funny. 你很搞笑
[04:51] And I like to joke around! 还有我喜欢跟人开玩笑
[04:53] She likes to joke around. 她喜欢跟人开玩笑
[04:55] Okay. Seriously, Maria? 天啊 你不是吧 玛丽亚
[04:56] I pay you $7.45 an hour, plus Obamacare 我付给你7.45美金的时薪与医保
[04:59] to be more convincing than that. 难道是为了这点三流的演技吗
[05:01] Okay, truth time — 好了 掏心窝子
[05:03] Fairfield County is bigger than just Westport, 费尔菲尔德县可不止有西港
[05:06] so if I’m gonna win this thing, 如果我想赢
[05:07] I need to appeal to the poors. 我就得拿到穷人的票
[05:09] Ugh. I’d put one in Maria’s yard, 我也想放一个在玛丽亚家的前院
[05:11] but she doesn’t have one, ’cause she lives in a condo… 可是她家没有 因为她住公寓
[05:14] …with her parents! 还是跟她爸妈同住
[05:16] My mother is very sick. 我妈妈生了重病
[05:18] Oh, sick of you! 见到你就烦的病吗
[05:19] Up top. 击个掌
[05:21] No, you missed it. You missed it. 晚了 你错过了 错过时机了
[05:23] I’m not putting your stupid sign in my yard. 我才不要在我家前院插你的傻逼标牌
[05:25] And tell your husband to return my husband’s phone calls. 并请提醒你老公记得回我老公电话
[05:27] Oh, well, Stan’s out of the country, 斯坦不在国内
[05:29] so I will pass the message along. 我会帮你传话的
[05:32] Aah! So hot! 好烫
[05:33] Oh! Zip it, Maria! Okay? You’re making a scene! 闭嘴啦 玛丽亚 要不要这么戏精
[05:36] Go! 滚
[05:40] Nicely played — 高招
[05:41] sticking it to Chloe Brown Mueller 直接对克洛伊·布朗·米勒
[05:43] with a Stan question. 打了一张斯坦牌
[05:44] What are you talking about? 你说什么呢
[05:45] You haven’t heard? Stan took off. 你还没听说吗 斯坦离家出走了
[05:47] Yeah. He went to Nepal to find himself. 他跑去尼泊尔发掘自我
[05:49] He’s drinking yak butter tea 喝着牦牛酥茶
[05:51] and deciding on which god to pray to. 考虑该拜哪个神
[05:52] He had a huge midlife crisis and snapped. 他出现中年危机然后理智线就断了
[05:55] That’s why Chloe’s running for office. 这就是为什么克洛伊要出来参选
[05:56] She’s putting on a big show, 所以才要演这出大戏
[05:57] pretending they’re both “Doing their own thing”. 假装两个人都在”各自忙自己的事业”
[06:00] Oh, it’s so sad… 可怜…
[06:01] that I didn’t know that. 的我啊 居然都不知道
[06:03] I would’ve enjoyed it more. 不然我刚才一定会更享受
[06:06] Stan’s a perfect example of someone who pushed himself, 斯坦就是个标准的汲汲营营一生
[06:08] went to all the right schools, got a high-powered job, 去了所有想去的名校 得到了位高权重的工作
[06:10] then wakes up and realizes he got everything he wanted 结果有天醒来 发现自己目标都实现
[06:13] but hated his whole life. 却痛恨这一生的例子
[06:14] Oh, my God. Oliver is on that same path. 天啊 奥利弗也在这条路上
[06:18] How do I stop my son from growing up 我该怎么不让我儿子长大后
[06:20] and having a midlife crisis? 某天出现中年危机呢
[06:22] You get ahead of it. Give him a midlife crisis now. 抢先一步 现在就让他有中年危机
[06:24] Or… 或者…
[06:26] check this box, and I could smack him around for you. 勾选这个同意选项 我来帮你打醒他
[06:30] Come on. 来嘛
[06:33] Boom! 砰
[06:39] Whatever it is, I don’t have time. 无论是啥事 我都没空
[06:41] I’m studying. 我在读书
[06:42] Well, get it out of your system now, 赶紧学个够
[06:44] because tomorrow we’re moving up your midlife crisis, 因为明天开始我们要让你提前中年危机
[06:47] and that begins with ditching school. 这一切将会从逃学开始
[06:49] I can’t ditch school! 我不能逃学
[06:51] My science notebook review is tomorrow and — 我明天有科学课笔记评分…
[06:52] Hey! I’m your mother. 我是你妈
[06:54] And when I say, “You’re ditching school”, 当我跟你说”明天你逃学”
[06:56] you’re ditching school. 你就得给老娘逃学
[06:57] But if I get caught, it could go on my permanent record. 但如果我被抓到 这会留下永久记录
[06:59] There’s no such thing. 那玩意根本不存在
[07:00] Now, stop studying and watch “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” 别读书了 今晚先先去看电影
[07:02] tonight for inspiration. “春天不是读书天”来激励自己
[07:04] Can I watch it in Mandarin? 我能看中文配音版吗
[07:05] Nyet! 不
[07:06] That’s Russian. 你说的是俄语
[07:07] Shut up, smarty-pants. 闭嘴 装逼仔
[07:12] I need an extra treat to bring for Franklin. 我需要带多一份零食给富兰克林
[07:15] He’d never tasted sugar before he met me. 他在认识我之前从没吃过糖呢
[07:17] Do you think maybe Franklin’s parents 你有没想过或许富兰克林的父母
[07:19] don’t want him eating candy? 不想让他吃糖呢
[07:20] Yeah, I get that. 是啊 我懂
[07:21] He gets all amped up, and then it’s all 他一吃糖就发癫 然后就是不停
[07:23] “Blah, blah, blah” about his diabetes. 碎碎念他的糖尿病
[07:25] New rule — no feeding Franklin sugar. 新规矩 再也不许给富兰克林吃糖
[07:28] Hey, would either of you be interested 你们有人有兴趣
[07:30] in going to a stamp unveiling at the library? 去图书馆举行的邮票公布会吗
[07:32] – Not it! – Not it! -没有 -没有
[07:33] How about if I told you 那如果我告诉你们
[07:34] it’s a rare banana stamp that’s a misprint? 是一款罕见的错印香蕉邮票呢
[07:36] Turns out it’s a plantain. 本来应该是款芭蕉
[07:38] – Not it! – Not it! -没兴趣 -没兴趣
[07:39] Don’t you have a friend you can go with? 你没有可以陪你一起去的朋友吗
[07:40] Not really — not since Stan left. 没有 斯坦走了之后就没了
[07:42] So find someone else. 找别人啊
[07:44] It’s not easy making friends once you get older. 年纪大了之后交朋友就没那么容易了
[07:45] I tried this Adult Friend Finder website. 我试了一个成人交友网站
[07:47] It was not what I thought it was. “成人”完全不是我想象中的那种
[07:50] I have an idea. 我有个主意
[07:51] Why don’t you take Anna-Kat to the park? 何不由你带安娜凯特去公园玩耍呢
[07:53] There’s always dads hanging around. 那里总是有很多孩子爸爸
[07:54] Maybe you can meet someone there. 或许你可以认识新朋友
[07:56] I don’t know. 我不知道
[07:56] Hey, anyone would be lucky to be your friend. 能做你的朋友 是那个人的幸运
[08:00] Okay. 好吧
[08:03] Alright, everybody in the car. 大家上车
[08:06] Are you sure making Oliver skip school is a good idea? 你确定叫奥利弗逃学是个好主意吗
[08:08] Trust me — it’s just what he needed. 相信我 他就需要来一次这个
[08:11] He’s even sleeping in. 他今天还睡懒觉了呢
[08:12] Not a bad start to his ditch day. 逃学日的一个不错的开始啊
[08:13] I don’t remember agreeing to this. 我好像没同意过你这事啊
[08:15] This isn’t one of those things that we both have to sign off on. 这件事不是需要夫妻俩都同意的那种
[08:17] Oh, so you get to do whatever you want with Oliver, 所以你想怎么摆布奥利弗都行
[08:19] but I buy one rug from Cost Plus without consult– 但我没问过你就从家具店买了一条地毯…
[08:21] Rugs are different than kids, Greg! 地毯跟孩子不一样 格雷格
[08:31] Oliver, I would not be a good mother 奥利弗 我想成为好妈妈
[08:33] if I let you sleep away your ditch day. 就不能让你这么睡过逃学日
[08:38] Oliver! 奥利弗
[08:45] What the… 什么鬼…
[08:49] He went to school! He reverse-Ferris Buellered me. 他去上学了 用了反”春天不是读书天”的招
[08:52] And instead of a mannequin, it’s a pig! 电影里用假人 他用了头猪
[08:55] Oliver thinks he’s pulled a fast one on me. 奥利弗觉得自己棋高一着
[08:57] I’ll show him. 看我怎么治他
[08:58] I’m not washing these sheets for a month. 这床单我一个月都不给他洗
[09:10] I need to speak with Oliver Otto. 我需要跟奥利弗·奥图谈谈
[09:14] Son, I want you to know 孩子 我想你知道
[09:15] I wake up every night drenched in sweat 我每天晚上都大汗淋漓从梦中惊醒
[09:17] because my job entails delivering news like this. 因为我的职责包含传达这种消息
[09:20] News like what? What are you talking about? 哪种消息 你在说什么啊
[09:22] I sweat right through my pajamas. 汗水湿透我的睡衣
[09:24] Then I lay there alone, shivering in the dark, 我独自躺在床上 在黑暗中瑟瑟发抖
[09:26] staring into the abyss. 双眼望向虚无
[09:28] But I’ve trained for this moment. 但我为此刻练习已久
[09:30] Your mother’s been in an accident. 你妈妈出了起意外
[09:32] There’s a car waiting for you outside. 外面有台车在等着接你
[09:43] Mom, what happened? 妈 怎么了
[09:44] Principal Ablin said you had an accident. 阿布林校长说你出了场意外
[09:46] I did. 是啊
[09:47] I did have an accident. 我是出了意外
[09:49] I opened up a bag of Bugles, and they went… 我打开一包薯片 它们…
[09:53] everywhere. 撒得到处都是
[09:57] You are a psychopath. 你简直丧心病狂啊
[09:59] Mother/son ditch day, here we come! 母子逃学日 正式开始
[10:02] I’m going back to school. 我要回学校
[10:08] What I really meant to say is, I’m glad you’re okay. 我的意思是 看到你没事就好
[10:11] Aw, sweetie. 乖儿子
[10:17] Are you holding your finger on the door lock 你一只手指按着锁门钮
[10:18] while you hug me with only one arm? 然后用另一只手抱着我吗
[10:20] I don’t know. 不知道啊
[10:21] Are you trying to unlock the door 你有一只手试着开门
[10:22] while you hug me with only one arm? 然后一边用另一只手假装抱我吗
[10:36] That’s it! I’m driving while locking! 够了 我要一边开车一边锁门
[10:38] I’m driving while locking! 我要边开边锁
[10:49] There you go. 去吧
[10:50] Just get in the circle. 加入圈子
[10:52] Just edge your way in. 慢慢混进去
[10:56] That’s it. That’s it. 就是这样 就是这样
[11:03] That’s not it. 不是这样
[11:10] Giants fan, huh? 巨人队粉丝吗
[11:12] Yeah. They’ve got to figure out their quarterback problem, huh? 是啊 他们得先处理好四分卫的问题啊
[11:14] Yeah. Yeah. 是啊 是啊
[11:18] You like stamps? 你喜欢邮票吗
[11:21] Oh, Greg. 格雷格啊
[11:24] Hey, look! You two have the same sneakers. 快看 你们穿同款球鞋呢
[11:26] Why don’t you talk about it? 你们何不聊聊这事呢
[11:28] New Balance. 新百伦的
[11:29] Yeah — the shoe of dads everywhere. 是啊 全国各地老爸指定品牌
[11:32] I’m Greg. 我叫格雷格
[11:33] – Charles. – Oh, nice to meet you. -我叫查尔斯 -幸会
[11:34] Yeah, it’s good to meet you, too. 是啊 幸会幸会
[11:35] So, Cassidy, is that your dad my dad’s talking to? 卡西迪 我爸在聊天的人是你爸吗
[11:39] Yup. 是啊
[11:40] They seem to be getting along. 感觉他们挺合得来啊
[11:42] Look. 你看
[11:44] So…cute. 真有爱
[11:48] Do you want to come over to my house 你今天晚点有兴趣来我家
[11:49] for a playdate later today? 一起玩耍吗
[11:51] Okay. 行啊
[11:56] Oh, my God! 天啊
[11:57] Why is that funny? You’re filthy now. 这有什么好笑的 你现在浑身脏死了
[12:00] Sandy belly! Ho ho ho! 圣诞老人沙肚子
[12:06] The things I do for him. 我为了他所做的牺牲啊
[12:10] You can’t tell me this hasn’t been a fun day. 你敢说今天不好玩吗
[12:12] We snuck into a movie, 我们混进去白看电影
[12:13] half-made a Build-A-Bear, then ran out, 去自制泰迪熊店做熊 做到一半就跑
[12:15] and went engagement ring shopping 还一起去逛了订婚戒指
[12:16] and creeped out that woman at Zales. 把店里的那个女人给吓懵了
[12:18] This whole day had no productive outcome. 这一整天毫无建树
[12:21] And I’m gonna get a zero on my science notebook entry. 而且我的科学课笔记要得零分了
[12:23] Who cares? 那又如何
[12:25] I’ll write you a note. 我会帮你写个解释信
[12:26] You have got to lighten up, or before you know it, 你得放松心情 不然以后某一天
[12:28] you’re going to be drinking yak butter in Nepal. 你就突然发神经跑去尼泊尔喝牦牛酥茶
[12:31] That sounds like Disneyland 跟我们去戒指店的经历比起来
[12:32] compared to the Zales experience. 那个简直就像梦幻般的迪士尼乐园
[12:36] What is Chloe Brown Mueller doing in our front yard?! 克洛伊·布朗·米勒在我们家前院做什么
[12:41] If I let you drive, would you run her over? 如果我让你开车 你愿意帮我碾她吗
[12:42] – Mom. – Come on. -妈 -来嘛
[12:43] They’d trial you as a kid, 你会以非成人受审
[12:44] and then you’d be out in 18 months. 关个一年半就能放出来了
[12:53] I told you that I don’t want your signs in my yard! 我跟你说过我家前院不要你的标牌
[12:57] Yeah, that’s why I did it when you weren’t home, dum-dum. 所以我才在你不在家时来插啊 傻子
[12:59] Well, I’m pulling them out! 那我要把它们全扯了
[13:00] Go right ahead. I posted this all on Instagram. 随你 我把照片传网上了
[13:03] The poors are gonna drop their Whoppers 穷人们会放下他们的速食店汉堡
[13:04] and their 40-ounce colas 还有巨号可乐
[13:06] and vote Chloe Brown Mueller, baby! 来投我克洛伊·布朗·米勒一票
[13:08] You can’t trespass on my property 你不能非法侵入我的土地
[13:09] and stick your stupid signs in my lawn! 然后把你的傻逼标牌插在我草坪上
[13:11] Oh, speaking of stupid things stuck in the grass, 说到插在草坪上的傻逼东西
[13:13] nice flamingo. 你的火烈鸟”不错”啊
[13:14] Ull! I like it. 我挺喜欢的
[13:15] It’s witty and unexpected. 挺机智又出乎人意料
[13:17] It’s not witty and unexpected, Maria! 才不机智与出乎人意料呢 玛丽亚
[13:19] It’s trashy and crappy! 是没品位兼垃圾
[13:20] Isn’t that what you meant? 你说的是这个意思吧
[13:21] It belonged to my grandmother. She collected them. 这是我奶奶的遗物 她以前搜集的
[13:24] And I like to keep one in my yard to remind me of her. 所以我留了一只在我的草坪上缅怀她
[13:27] Oh, you’re killing me! 我要被你笑死了
[13:28] Your grandmother collected plastic flamingos? 你奶奶搜集塑料的火烈鸟吗
[13:31] What else did she collect? 她还搜集什么鬼
[13:34] Quick — Maria, give me some trashy and crappy things 玛丽亚 快帮我想想还有什么没品位的垃圾
[13:36] so I can ask Katie if her grandmother collected them. 我好问问凯蒂她奶奶有没有搜集那个
[13:38] Um, I… 我…
[13:39] Oh, my God, you’re useless. Get in the car! 天啊 你真是没用到爆 上车吧
[13:41] I don’t know why I pay your health insurance. 我都不知道我干嘛帮你付健保
[13:43] I have a $12,000 deductible. 我得自费12000
[13:44] Doesn’t mean you can’t fix that chin! 不代表你不能花钱去整你的下巴啊
[13:52] Grandma to the rescue! 奶奶来救场
[13:54] We are going to flamingo 我们今晚就去火烈鸟
[13:55] Chloe Brown Mueller’s lawn tonight. 克洛伊·布朗·米勒家的草坪
[13:58] What does that even mean? 你这句子是什么意思啊
[13:59] You put flamingos in someone’s yard. 就是把火烈鸟插到人家的前院
[14:02] Like, a lot of them. 插得满满
[14:03] How is that a good idea? 这算哪门子的好主意
[14:04] You said that before we went into Zales, 你在我们进戒指店前也这么说
[14:06] and we got free sparkling waters. 但你看我们是不是蹭到了免费气泡水
[14:11] So, you have a friend coming over? 你有朋友要来家里吗
[14:13] Yeah. We really hit it off. 是啊 我们一拍即合
[14:15] Thanks for making me get back out there. 谢谢你鼓励我出去交朋友
[14:17] Ever since Stan left — 打从斯坦走后…
[14:18] Piece of advice — 给你个小建议
[14:19] don’t talk about Stan with this new guy. 别在新男人面前提起斯坦
[14:21] He does not want to picture you with another dad. 他不会想脑海中出现你跟别的爸爸的画面
[14:23] Got it. 收到
[14:27] That must be your playdate. 应该是你玩耍约会的人来了
[14:29] – Our playdate. – Sure. -是我们的玩耍约会 -行啊
[14:30] I’m not a big fan of this Cassidy girl, 我不是那么喜欢这个卡西迪小姑娘
[14:32] so let’s say we have a hard out at 5:00. 我们先约好5点必须散会
[14:35] Okay. Come on. 好 来吧
[14:40] – Hi. – Hi! -你们好 -你好啊
[14:41] Where’s your dad? 你爸爸呢
[14:42] He’s playing tennis with his buddies. 他去跟朋友们打网球了
[14:46] Oh, I thought — 我还以为…
[14:47] Sounds fun. 感觉很好玩啊
[14:48] Come on in. 快请进
[14:55] New plan — I’m gonna play with her for 10 minutes, 新计划 我会跟她一起玩10分钟
[14:58] and then I’m gonna make myself throw up. 然后我会催吐我自己
[15:05] This is going to make Chloe Brown Mueller lose her mind. 这一定会让克洛伊·布朗·米勒气炸
[15:08] I would not want to be Maria tomorrow. 我为明天的玛丽亚先默哀
[15:10] Or ever. 甚至是为她此生默哀
[15:11] That is one sad lady. 那姑娘好可怜啊
[15:12] Honestly, I don’t understand 说实话 我不懂
[15:14] why putting flamingos in someone’s yard is fun. 在别人草坪插满火烈鸟有何乐趣
[15:16] If you only learn one thing from me, 如果你从我身上能学到一件事
[15:18] it’s that nothing is more fun than messing with people. 那就是没有什么比整人更有趣了
[15:21] Seriously?! 你认真的吗
[15:22] That’s the one thing you want me to learn from my mother? 你希望我从母亲身上学到的唯一一件事是整人
[15:24] Well…that and… 这个嘛… 整人与…
[15:27] compassion, I guess. 同情心吧 我猜
[15:29] You keep up with the flamingos. 你继续插火烈鸟
[15:30] I’m gonna go draw some more penises. 我再去多画几个鸡鸡
[15:32] Ooh! The L’s in “Mueller” Are gonna have a sword fight! “米”字的撇捺要来个鸡鸡大战了
[15:37] Cops! 条子
[15:38] Scatter! We’ll meet at the house! 散开逃跑 我们家里见
[15:44] If it makes you feel any better, 不知道这能不能安慰到你
[15:45] at least your wife didn’t sleep with your best friend, 但好歹你老婆没有跟你挚友上床啊
[15:47] like McDreamy. 就像”实习医生格蕾”里的梦幻先生
[15:49] Oh, but then you’d have to have a best friend first. 不过你得先有个挚友才行
[15:52] Way to go, McDummy. 真会说话啊 梦幻白痴
[15:53] Guys, your mom is my best friend. 两位 你们妈妈就是我的挚友
[15:56] Problem is, I can’t meet her for drinks 但问题是 我不能在想躲她时
[15:57] when I’m trying to get away from her. 又邀请她跟我出去喝酒谈心
[16:00] Oh, my God! I got to lay down! 要命了 我得躺下
[16:02] I can’t. I can’t make it to the couch. 不行 我没力走到沙发那里了
[16:07] W-Where’s Oliver? 奥利弗人呢
[16:08] He’ll be here in a second. 他马上就会到
[16:10] He’s faster than me, 他脚程比我快
[16:11] but I kind of went as the crow flies. 但我走的是最短距离的捷径
[16:31] How old are you? 你几岁了
[16:32] 18. 18岁
[16:33] Okay, have at it. 行 尽情享用
[16:36] What happened? 发生什么事了
[16:37] We had to scatter! 我们必须得分散逃跑
[16:39] And I’m fat, Greg! 而我胖啊 格雷格
[16:40] I’m a big girl, so it was harder for me! 我胖 所以跑起来比较辛苦
[16:42] Scatter from what? 为了什么事分散逃跑
[16:48] Hello? 喂
[16:50] Yes, this is he. 是我
[16:52] Oh, I’m…sorry to hear that, officer. 真的不好意思 警官
[16:55] Yes, we’ll be right down. 好的 我们马上过去
[16:58] Scatter from the cops. 分散逃离警察
[17:04] I can’t believe you got our son arrested. 我真不敢相信你害我们儿子被抓
[17:06] You keep saying that over and over again. 你这话像跳针一样说个不停
[17:08] Let’s move on. 说点新的吧
[17:09] What was I supposed to do? 那你想我怎么做啊
[17:10] Not get him arrested? 不要害他被逮捕啊
[17:11] I’ve been caught by the cops 我以前就曾经因为
[17:12] for flamingoing lawns before, Greg. 去火烈鸟人家的草坪被抓过了 格雷格
[17:14] They give you a slap on the wrist. 他们只会小小处罚
[17:17] Sometimes, they ask you out. 有时候还会约你出去呢
[17:19] Sometimes, you end up going to the prom 有时候 你还会跟警官
[17:21] with a police officer. 去毕业舞会呢
[17:24] Trust me — it’s not a big deal. 相信我 小事一桩啦
[17:27] I hope you’re right. 希望是你说的这样
[17:29] Remember before we moved here? 还记得我们搬来这里之前吗
[17:31] Oliver was less serious. 奥利弗没那么较真
[17:33] He was goofier. 他比较傻乐
[17:34] And then we come to Westport, 然后我们搬来了西港
[17:35] and he has gotten obsessed with all the wrong things. 他开始纠结那些不该纠结的事情
[17:38] And now he’s on that path. 而现在他走上了那条路了
[17:39] There’s a lot of good things on that path, 那条路上有很多好东西啊
[17:41] like hard work and a great college. 比如努力与好大学
[17:43] I don’t want him off the path. 我没有想要让他不走这条路
[17:44] I just want him to have fun along the way. 我只是希望他在路上时 也能有快乐
[17:47] And I’m afraid if he doesn’t, 我很担心如果他没得到快乐
[17:49] he’s gonna end up like Stan and have a nervous breakdown. 他最后会像斯坦一样搞到精神崩溃
[17:52] I mean, when was the last time you heard him laugh? 你上一次听到他的笑声是什么时候
[17:56] I miss that. 我好想念他的笑声
[17:59] I miss it, too. 我也很想念
[18:02] I can’t believe you got our son arrested! 我真是不敢相信你害我们儿子被逮捕
[18:03] He was supposed to scatter! 他应该开溜的啊
[18:11] We’re here to pick up our son — Oliver Otto. 我们来接我们的儿子 奥利弗·奥图
[18:13] Oliver Otto — right. 奥利弗·奥图 是的
[18:14] We can’t release him to you just yet. 我们还不能放他
[18:16] You want to keep him for, like, an hour or so, 你们打算关他个一小时之类的
[18:17] put a scare into him — is that what you’re thinking? 吓唬吓唬他 你们是在想这个吗
[18:20] No, your son is in real trouble. 不是 你儿子惹得麻烦大了
[18:21] He was caught trespassing, 他犯了非法入侵
[18:23] and he caused substantial property damage. 还造成了可观的财产损害
[18:25] Mrs. Brown Mueller is a political candidate, 布朗·米勒太太是个选举参选人
[18:28] so there’s an extra set of special circumstances. 所以这是特殊情况
[18:30] It’s flamingoing. In Florida — 这叫火烈鸟草坪 在佛罗里达…
[18:33] This isn’t Florida! 这里不是佛罗里达
[18:34] Are you familiar with the term “zero tolerance”? 你们听过一个词叫”零容忍”吗
[18:36] Because that’s what you’re up against. 因为你们现在问题是这个
[18:38] He drew genitalia on official election materials. 他在官方选举材料上画了性器官
[18:42] Can I at least post bail and bring him home? 那我能提交保释金 带他回家吗
[18:44] Of course — right after he’s arraigned, 当然可以 等到他被传讯后即可
[18:45] which is in about two days. 这大概是两天后吧
[18:47] Two days?! 两天吗
[18:48] You cannot keep a kid in jail for two days for flamingoing. 火烈鸟人家草坪不需要关一个孩子到两天吧
[18:51] This is a Class “A” misdemeanor. 这算是一级轻罪了
[18:53] You’ll probably want to hire an attorney, 你们最好去请个律师
[18:56] because this is the kind of thing 因为这种事情
[18:57] that goes on your permanent record. 将会被记录到他的永久记录上
[18:59] Oh, my God, Greg! Permanent record! 天啊 格雷格 永久记录
[19:01] This’ll prevent him from going to college! 这会害他上不了大学的
[19:03] What are we going to do?! 我们该怎么办啊
[19:04] Gotcha! 整到你啦
[19:06] – What?! – I got you! -什么 -我整到你啦
[19:07] Special circumstances, zero tolerance? Classic! 特殊情况 零容忍 太赞了
[19:11] I always giggle when I’m nervous. 我紧张的时候很容易笑场
[19:13] I almost giggled. 差点就笑出来
[19:14] You should have seen your face, Mom. 你真应该看看你的表情啊 妈
[19:15] You were totally freaked out. 整个人都吓坏了
[19:17] Why in the world would you do that? 你为什么要做这种事
[19:19] Because nothing is more fun than messing with people. 因为没有什么比整人更有趣了
[19:27] You really are a good student. 你真是个好学生啊
[19:29] You were, like, “Oh, my God, Greg! 你刚才”天啊 格雷格
[19:31] Permanent record”! 永久记录”
[19:34] Well, you found his laugh. 你找到他的笑声啦
[19:36] Yeah. 是啊
[19:37] I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I did. 原来我没想象中那么想念
[19:43] So, when I get arrested, 所以等轮到我被逮捕时
[19:45] are you going to throw a dinner in my honor? 你也会为我办一场晚餐会吗
[19:47] I don’t like how she said “When”. 我不太喜欢她说”等轮到”
[19:49] You should know that I’ve decided to quit Mandarin. 我想让你们知道 我退出中文课了
[19:51] Are you sure? 你确定吗
[19:52] Yeah, I’m gonna take Latin instead. 对啊 我打算改学拉丁文
[19:54] It’s a dead language. 这是个没人说的死语言
[19:55] Jeremy Fleisher’s parents can do a lot of things, 杰里米·弗莱舍的父母可以做到很多事
[19:58] but they can’t buy him a dead person. 但他们不能买到个死人给他
[20:06] – Hi! Come on in. – How are you? -你好 请进 -你好吗
[20:08] Oh, my God — cops. Oliver, run! 天啊 警察 奥利弗快跑
[20:10] No, Anna-Kat, it’s okay. 别 安娜凯特 没事的
[20:11] We got to talking in the station. 我们在警局时聊上了几句
[20:12] I found out we have a lot of the same interests. 我发现我们有挺多共同兴趣
[20:14] You made a friend? 你交了个新朋友吗
[20:15] That’s right. We’re both philatelists. 对啊 我们都是集邮者
[20:17] Greg is one of the most passionate philatelists 格雷格是我见过最有热情的
[20:20] I’ve ever met. 集邮者之一了
[20:22] I know it means something different 我知道你们说的词
[20:24] than what I’m thinking it means. 不是我想的那个意思
[20:26] It means stamp collecting. 意思是搜集邮票
[20:27] There it is. 这就对了
美式主妇

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