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美式主妇(American Housewife)第2季第4集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 美式主妇(American Housewife)第2季第4集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:03] Making breakfast for your kid with OCD 给有强迫症的孩子做早餐
[00:06] is like the world’s least-fun game of “Operation.” 就像全世界最无趣游戏”外科手术”
[00:08] It takes a steady hand or — 手要稳 否则
[00:11] It touched. I can’t eat that. 碰到了 我不能吃
[00:13] If we were rich, Anna-Kat would be eccentric. 如果我们是有钱人 安娜凯特便是特立独行
[00:16] But we’re poor, so she’s just cuckoo pants. 但我们是穷人 所以她是个小疯子
[00:18] Call me when you get it right. 做对了再叫我
[00:22] Morning, Taylor. 早 泰勒
[00:24] I made you a little something. 我给你做了早餐
[00:25] No, way. I’m not eating Anna-Kat’s reject food. 不可能 我不吃安娜凯特不要的东西
[00:27] It’s disgusting. 真恶心
[00:28] Mmm! Yolks and crusties. May I? 蛋黄和烤焦的面包 我能吃吗
[00:30] Put that cup down! 放下杯子
[00:32] Who gave you permission to drink coffee? 谁允许你喝咖啡的
[00:34] You did last week. 你上周同意的
[00:35] I asked you when you were removing 我问你时 你正把
[00:37] all the things Anna-Kat hates from her trail mix. 什锦干果中安娜凯特不喜欢的挑出来
[00:39] Mmm! Carob. 角豆
[00:40] You know better than to listen to me while I’m ignoring you. 你应该懂得我无视你时说的话不算数
[00:42] – Besides, coffee stunts your growth. – Great. -而且 咖啡会妨碍你长高 -很好
[00:45] I’m already at a perfect height 我的身高已经完美了
[00:46] according to the quiz I took on BuzzFeed. 我在网上做了测试
[00:48] Well, BuzzFeed says that I’m a Charlotte, 网上的测试还说我是夏洛特[《欲望都市》人物]
[00:49] which is total crap ’cause everyone knows I’m a Carrie. 完全是骗人的 大家都知道我是凯莉
[00:52] You’re more like a Miranda. 你更像米兰达
[00:53] That is the meanest thing anyone’s ever said to me. 这是别人对我说过的最刻薄的话
[00:55] Not happening. 不可能
[00:56] Put it down. 放下
[00:57] Fine. 好
[00:59] Once I start driving next week, I’ll go get my own coffee. 下周我就能开车了 到时我自己买咖啡
[01:05] Oh, my God. She’s right. 我的天 她说得对
[01:07] She’s gonna be driving. How did this happen? 她马上就能开车了 怎么会这样
[01:10] – When did our oldest get to be so old? – I don’t understand. -我们的老大什么时候这么大的 -我不明白
[01:12] I thought you couldn’t wait for Taylor to start driving. 你不是等不及泰勒开车吗
[01:14] Well, now that it’s here, I’m having mixed feelings. 真到了这天 我的感觉很复杂
[01:18] Am I allowed to have those, Greg, or is this Russia? 不能感觉复杂吗 格雷格 这里是俄国吗
[01:20] Do you mean Communist Russia? 你是指苏联吧
[01:22] Because modern Russia, while still oppressive — 因为现在的俄国 虽然压抑…
[01:23] Why can’t you just let me say things? 就不能让我好好说话吗
[01:25] Greg, you realize getting her license means independence. 格雷格 你知道她有驾照就意味着独立吗
[01:28] And before you know it, she’s gonna be driving off 你还没回过神 她就会开车走人
[01:31] like that girl in that Subaru commercial. 就像汽车广告里的那个女孩一样
[01:32] You mean the one where the little girl sits 广告里小女孩坐在
[01:34] in the driver’s seat and the dad tells her to be careful? 驾驶位 她爸让她小心些
[01:36] Then he turns back, 然后他转身
[01:37] and suddenly she’s a teenager. 突然她就是少女了
[01:39] That girl was so tiny. 那个女孩本来那么小
[01:40] Then the girl grew up right before his eyes. 然后就在他眼前长大了
[01:49] What’s happening? 出什么事了
[01:55] Get off. 放开
[01:57] Taylor, honey, I’d like to spend 泰勒宝贝 我想和你
[01:59] some special mother/daughter time with you, 共度特别的母女时光
[02:00] establish a bond that will last a lifetime. 建立延续一辈子的感情
[02:03] You can’t force stuff like that. 这种事不能强迫
[02:04] That’s silly. Anything can be forced. 说傻话 任何事都能强迫
[02:06] The fact that you were all over 9 pounds 你出生时超过9磅
[02:08] and I never had a C-section is proof. 我没有剖腹产就是证明
[02:09] – Gross. – Yes, it was. -恶心 -对
[02:11] I saw the sheets. 我见过产床床单
[02:14] You’ll never believe who just moved in next to us. 你们不会相信谁搬到了隔壁
[02:16] Here’s a hint — He’s one of my idols, 给点提示 他是我的偶像之一
[02:18] and he just got out of prison. 刚刚出狱
[02:19] I give up… 我放弃
[02:20] on the question and possibly parenting. 放弃回答这问题和做你妈
[02:23] Spencer Blitz, the man who dominated wall Street in the ’90s. 斯宾塞·布利茨 90年代统治华尔街的人
[02:26] Then spent the last 20 years in jail for insider trading. 然后因为内线交易坐牢20年
[02:29] I want you to stay clear of that guy. 我希望你不要理他
[02:31] You’ve already talked to him, haven’t you? 你已经和他聊过了 对吗
[02:36] Are you stealing my Wall Street Journal? 你在偷我的《华尔街日报》吗
[02:40] Good job. 做得好
[02:41] When I was your age, I stole hundreds of papers. 我像你这么大时 偷了无数报纸
[02:43] Sold ’em back to the vendors for a profit. 卖给销售商谋利
[02:46] Kind of a reverse paper route. 正好和送报童的工作是相反的
[02:47] Then I took that money, bought an abandoned warehouse, 用赚的钱 买了一处废弃仓库
[02:50] burned it to the ground for the insurance money, 烧了骗保
[02:51] and bought a Maserati. 买了辆玛莎拉蒂
[02:53] At school, I made sure I parked 在学校 我把车停在
[02:55] next the the principal so he knew who was boss. 校长的车旁边 这样他知道谁是老大
[02:58] Sir, that’s the most inspiring story I’ve ever heard. 先生 这是我听过的最激励人的故事
[03:02] That guy’s a perfect example of what happens 人只在乎钱时会是什么下场
[03:03] when somebody only cares about money. 这家伙是完美的例子
[03:05] I know, right? 我知道 对吧
[03:06] He’s the best. 他最棒了
[03:10] Oliver, there is a letter from your school marked “Urgent.” 奥利弗 这有学校的紧急通知
[03:14] Oh, yeah, I was supposed to give that to you. 对 我应该给你的
[03:16] Yeah, I got that, too. So did Anna-Kat. 我和安娜凯特都有
[03:17] You know I hate it when the three of you screw up together. 我最讨厌你们三个一起搞砸事情
[03:20] It dilutes her anger. 怒气分散了
[03:21] A kid at the school got lice, 学校有个孩子长了虱子
[03:23] and they want the parents to be on the lookout. 他们希望家长注意
[03:27] We cannot get lice. 我们不能长虱子
[03:28] We’re already known as the poor family. 我们已经是有名的穷人家庭
[03:33] Correction — poor family with a pet pig. 纠正 养宠物猪的穷人家庭
[03:35] Hans Gruber, don’t sneeze on Mommy’s leg. 汉斯·格鲁伯 别对着妈咪的腿打喷嚏
[03:37] Greg, don’t ever refer to me as the pig’s mommy again. 格雷格 别再管我叫猪妈
[03:41] Listen up. 听好了
[03:42] We will not be known as the “Poor pig family 我们不能成为长虱子的
[03:44] that also has lice.” 穷人家庭
[03:47] So that’s what these things are. 原来这些东西是这个
[03:54] After discovering that one of your kids has lice, 在发现有个孩子长虱子后
[03:57] the first step is to isolate patient zero. 第一步 隔离感染源
[04:00] This is to contain them. 这个能关住它们
[04:01] Having head pets is the best. 养脑袋宠物最棒了
[04:04] Really? But eggs touching toast is gross? 是吗 但是蛋碰到了吐司就恶心
[04:06] That is one wavy line. 华丽丽的分割线
[04:10] Step two, check all remaining family members. 第二步 检查剩下的家人
[04:12] You’re good. 你没事
[04:15] You, too. 你也没事
[04:19] All clear. 安全
[04:22] Did you just moan during a lice check? 你在检查虱子的过程中呻吟吗
[04:23] If you’re into it, yeah. 很享受嘛
[04:26] Step three is to kill those little bastards — 第三步 杀掉这些小畜牲
[04:29] the lice, not the kids. 我是说虱子 不是孩子
[04:30] Maybe the kids. 也可以考虑
[04:31] It’s like there’s a village. 太多了
[04:33] You’d have to get lice for a very long time 得长很久虱子
[04:36] to have as many as I do. 才能有我这么多
[04:38] I’ve got a super swarm. 我头上有一大窝
[04:45] Step four, 第四步
[04:46] shock and awe. 斩草除根
[04:50] Lice get everywhere and on everything. 虱子无所不在
[04:53] They’re the glitter of the bug world. 它们是虫子界的闪粉
[05:03] – I’m going to Melanie’s house. – Wait. -我去梅兰妮家 -等等
[05:05] I was hoping that we could bond. 我还希望我们能增进感情
[05:07] We’ll never get this time back 时间过去就回不来了
[05:08] or be able to make these memories again. 我们再也不能创造这些回忆
[05:10] Nah, that’s okay. 没事
[05:11] C’mon, we can make a batch of cookies, 来吧 我们可以做饼干
[05:13] but instead of baking them, we’ll just eat the cookie dough. 可以不烤 直接吃饼干面团
[05:15] You can’t eat raw eggs. You’ll get sick. 不能吃生鸡蛋 会生病的
[05:16] What is wrong with your generation? 你们这代人什么毛病
[05:18] You won’t eat raw eggs or put plastic in the microwave. 你们不吃生鸡蛋 拒绝将塑料放进微波炉
[05:20] Yeah, we also don’t like to get lice. 对 我们还不喜欢长虱子
[05:22] Listen, when things get tough for this family, we don’t run. 听着 家里有难时我们不能逃跑
[05:24] We stick it out together under one roof. 我们在一个屋檐下共同进退
[05:27] Oh, really? 是吗
[05:31] Tell that to Dad. 跟爸爸说去
[05:37] What a total 真是个…
[05:40] I love your father. 我爱你的父亲
[05:45] What do you think you’re doing? 你以为你在做什么
[05:47] During the State of the Union, a “Designated survivor” 总统发表国情咨文时 “指定幸存者”
[05:49] is sent to an undisclosed location 被派到秘密地点
[05:51] so they can lead the country 这样如遇攻击事件
[05:52] in the event everyone is wiped out in an attack. 所有人被干掉 他们也可以领导国家
[05:54] This is exactly like that, except with lice. 现在就是这种情况 除了虱子
[05:56] And a tent. 和帐篷
[05:57] With Nutter Butters. 还有饼干
[05:58] How can I convince Taylor to stay and bond with me 你在这里支帐篷 我怎么说服泰勒
[06:00] if you’re out here pitching a tent? 留下和我增进感情
[06:02] Oh, grow up, Greg. 成熟点 格雷格
[06:03] Hey, if lice get in these locks, they’re not getting out. 如果这头浓密头发长虱子 就永远杀不绝
[06:06] – Remember when — – Yeah, yeah, -还记得 -是的
[06:07] Paul Mitchell stopped you on the street 保罗·米切尔在街上拦住你
[06:08] and told you he had never seen such texture and definition. 告诉你他从没见过这样的质感和清晰度
[06:10] It was texture and volume. 应该是质感和密度
[06:11] I only have a two-week window 我只有两周时间
[06:13] to get in all the bonding time I can, 来增进感情
[06:14] because, when she gets her license, she’s gone. 她拿到驾照后就会走了
[06:16] And you know how I know that? 知道我怎么知道的吗
[06:18] Because that’s what I did. 因为我就是这样
[06:19] I got my license, got a job, 我拿到驾照 找了工作
[06:21] and then quit to follow Prince and the Evolution. 然后不再粉”王子与进化”
[06:23] – Don’t you mean Revolution? – No. Evolution. -应该是”革命” -不 “进化”
[06:24] They were a Prince knock-off band that owned the Panhandle. 他们是山寨乐队 不过在俄州西部非常火
[06:28] What am I going to do? 我怎么办
[06:30] Hey, remember the coupon book she gave you for Mother’s Day? 记得母亲节她送你的赠券本吗
[06:32] Yes. 记得
[06:33] With all those cute activities. 那些活动好可爱
[06:35] Such a sweet gesture. 真有心
[06:36] It’s one of my most treasured possessions. 那是我最珍贵的财富
[06:38] Yeah, I saw it smushed up in the back of the junk drawer. 我看到在垃圾抽屉里挤成一团
[06:39] You bond with Taylor. 你和泰勒增进感情
[06:41] I’ll do some father/son bonding out here with Oliver. 我和奥利弗在这里增进父子感情
[06:43] – Where is he? – He said he’d be right back. -他在哪里 -他说他马上回来
[06:44] Hopefully some camping with his old man will help him 希望和老爸一起露营可以帮他
[06:46] realize there’s more to life than material pursuits. 意识到比起物质追求 生活中还有更重要的
[06:51] This is your TV nook? 这是你的电视角
[06:54] You know, every time I try to find the main TV room, 每次我想找主电视房
[06:56] I end up in the bowling alley. 总是走到保龄球馆
[07:00] So, you haven’t touched this place 你在90年代被捕后
[07:01] since you got arrested in the ’90s? 就没来到这里吗
[07:05] Who’s TLC? TLC是谁
[07:06] A rad girl band. 很不错的女子乐队
[07:07] They actually played my birthday just before I was arrested. 她们在我被捕前 在我的生日会上演唱
[07:10] I told “Left Eye” The story of how I torched that warehouse. 我告诉”左眼”我烧了仓库的事
[07:13] Looking back, I worry I planted a seed. 回想起来 我可能搬石头砸了自己的脚
[07:15] Is it true you dated Daryl Hannah? 你真的约会过达丽尔·汉纳吗
[07:17] Post-“Splash,” Pre-“Wall Street.” 她拍《美人鱼》后 《华尔街》之前
[07:19] Undeniably her sweet spot. 不可否认她的魅力
[07:22] But my heart belonged to someone else — 但我的心属于别人
[07:24] a man, in fact… 事实上是一个男人
[07:25] by the name of Benjamin Franklin. 他叫本杰明·富兰克林
[07:27] I still get goose bumps every time I look at that 现在每次看到他美丽的绿色光头
[07:29] beautiful bald, green head. 我都还会起鸡皮疙瘩
[07:31] Wow. We have the same taste in men. 我们对男人的品味是一样的
[07:34] I’m gonna give you some advice on how to get rich. 我将给你一些致富的建议
[07:37] Money needs to be your first, 钱需要成为你心中
[07:40] your second, and your third love. 前三位的爱
[07:42] Fourth can be a Russian model who needs a visa. 第四位可以是一个需要签证的俄国模特
[07:45] Do you have, like, a pen and paper or something? 你有笔和纸吗
[07:47] Yeah. 有
[07:49] That’s probably my parole officer. 可能是我的假释官
[07:51] Coming! 来了
[07:57] Hi. You must be Spencer Blitz. 你好 你肯定是斯宾塞·布利茨
[07:58] Of course I am. 当然
[07:59] I’m Greg Otto from next door. 我是住在隔壁的格雷格·奥图
[08:01] I was looking for my son, Oliver. 我在找我的儿子奥利弗
[08:02] Come on in. 进来
[08:03] Thank you. 谢谢
[08:06] Hey, Dad. 爸
[08:08] Spencer was just telling me a story about how he manipulated 斯宾塞刚在告诉我他如何操纵
[08:10] the Malaysian housing market for a huge profit. 马来西亚房产市场谋取巨额利润
[08:13] You got one hell of a son here. 你的儿子太优秀了
[08:15] I look at him, and I see 我看着他 就像看到
[08:16] a younger, less-tan version of myself. 年轻 没这么美黑的我
[08:18] I hope one day I can follow in your footsteps. 我希望有天能追随你的脚步
[08:20] But not to jail. Am I right? 但不能进监狱 对吗
[08:22] Yeah, well, federal prison’s not so bad. 联邦监狱没那么差
[08:24] He told me Allenwood had a golf course. 他告诉我艾伦伍德监狱里有高尔夫球场
[08:26] That’s where I spent the summer. 我夏天在那里
[08:27] – I winter-prisoned in Arizona. – Amazing. -我冬天被关在亚利桑那州 -太棒了
[08:30] But it wasn’t worth it, because he had to give back all that money 但这一切不值得 因为在被抓到偷钱后
[08:32] when he was caught stealing. 他必须还钱
[08:33] Well, what your dad says is true. 你爸说得对
[08:35] I’m down to my last several hundred million. 我只剩最后几十亿了
[08:37] It’s tough to look at those statements. 看财务报告太痛苦
[08:39] Okay, we’d love to stay and talk, 我们也想多聊一下
[08:40] but Oliver and I have to get going. 但我和奥利弗要走了
[08:42] We do? 是吗
[08:43] We’re doing some backyard camping. 我们要去后院露营
[08:44] – Yeah, but — – That sounds nice. -但是 -听起来真不错
[08:46] Go with your dad. 跟你爸爸走
[08:47] You can come visit me anytime. 你随时都能来看我
[08:49] You know, I n– I never had a family. 我从来没有家人
[08:50] I was too busy making money. 因为我忙着赚钱
[08:52] And it’s hard to live with regret. 后悔的确难受
[08:53] Regret? Oh, no, sorry, 后悔 抱歉
[08:55] I had the wrong inflection. 我说话的音调不对
[08:56] I never had a family. I was too busy making money! 我从来没有家人 因为我忙着赚钱
[09:01] Mama? 妈妈
[09:02] Will you take the middle out of my fidget spinner for me? 帮我把指尖陀螺减压器的中间盖拿掉好吗
[09:05] Didn’t you just ask me to put it back in? 你不是刚让我装上去吗
[09:09] I can’t find anything in this junk drawer. 在垃圾抽屉里什么也找不到
[09:12] Heads up, honey. 小心 亲爱的
[09:16] Why do I have to have my hair in braids? 我为什么一定要扎辫子
[09:18] You have to do it after you treat for lice. 治疗虱子后就得这样
[09:19] The coupon book! 赠券本
[09:23] Stuck to an old Life Saver. 粘上口哨糖了
[09:24] That I won’t eat until I’m alone. 我等一个人的时候再吃
[09:27] You keep itching. 你一直在抓痒
[09:29] Do you have head pets, too? 你也养了脑袋宠物吗
[09:30] No. 没
[09:32] Of course not. 当然没有
[09:34] Can you hand me that fork? 把叉子给我好吗
[09:38] Mamas do this sometimes. 有时候妈妈会这样做
[09:44] Oliver, I know Spencer has made a lot of money, 奥利弗 我知道斯宾塞赚了很多钱
[09:47] but that came at a huge price. 但是要付出很大代价的
[09:49] In life, there are no shortcuts. 人生没有捷径
[09:51] The only way to really make it is to get a job and work hard. 唯一成功的方式是找工作后辛苦工作
[09:54] – I actually took a job this afternoon. – Oh, doing what? -我下午就工作了 -做什么
[09:56] Running errands for Spencer until he’s legally permitted 替斯宾塞跑腿 直到他可以合法地
[09:58] to step outside a half-mile radius of his property. 离开房子半英里以外
[10:01] That’s him right now. 他叫我
[10:03] – Is that a beeper? – Isn’t it cool? -这是呼机吗 -是不是好酷
[10:04] It’s like a cellphone, only it does nothing. 像手机 但什么也做不了
[10:06] I’ve got to roll. Spencer asked me to get 我得走了 斯宾塞让我
[10:08] Crystal Pepsi and something called mousse. 买水晶百事可乐和叫摩丝的东西
[10:15] Where are you going? 你去哪里
[10:18] – I told you, to Melanie’s. – No, you’re not. -我跟你说过去梅兰妮家 -你不去
[10:20] Because I am redeeming 我要兑现
[10:21] the Mother’s Day coupons you gave me. 母亲节你送我的赠券
[10:23] Don’t be weird. I gave those to you when I was like 10. 别这么奇怪 那是我十岁时送你的
[10:26] I don’t see an expiration date. 这上面没有过期日期
[10:28] Here’s one for an ice cream “Zunday”… 这有张冰淇淋周日
[10:31] spelled with a Z. “周日”都拼写错了
[10:33] I am not hanging out in a house crawling with bugs. 我不会待在满屋虫子的房子
[10:35] I have that problem under control. 我已经控制了局面
[10:37] Yeah? 是吗
[10:38] Then why do you keep itching your head? 那你为什么一直抓脑袋
[10:40] I’m not itching. 我没抓
[10:41] I’m stimulating the follicles 我在刺激毛囊
[10:43] because of female-pattern baldness. 因为女性秃头
[10:46] It’s coming for you, too. 你也会有这天
[10:48] Oh, my God. 我的天
[10:49] The top of my head is just lice 我的头顶就是一只
[10:51] with some hair around it. 长了头发的虱子
[10:52] You can’t make me hang out in a lice-infested house. 你不能逼我待在满是虱子的房子里
[10:55] You’re losing her, Katie. 你要失去她了 凯蒂
[10:56] Do something. 快想办法
[10:58] Taylor, wait! 泰勒 等等
[11:00] Should I? 我要这样做吗
[11:01] No. 不
[11:02] And yet I’m doing it. 但我还是要这样做
[11:04] Lice hat! 虱子帽
[11:05] Now we’re infested together. 现在我们一起长虫子
[11:07] Oh, my God! Have you gone insane?! 我的天 你疯了吗
[11:09] I will take my 10 free hugs inside, please. 请在屋内给我十个免费拥抱
[11:18] What’s it like on the inside? 里面怎么样
[11:19] Taylor totally ignored me 我给泰勒除虱子时
[11:20] while I was combing lice out of her hair. 她全程无视我
[11:22] Now she’s holed up in her room and won’t come out. 现在她躲在房里不出来
[11:24] Huh. Weird. 奇怪
[11:26] I guess you could try giving her bedbugs. 我想你可以试着让她染上臭虫
[11:28] It was a spur-of-the-moment decision. 那是冲动下的决定
[11:29] Besides, Oliver has become a runner 而且 奥利弗在你眼皮底下
[11:31] for a criminal on your watch. 给罪犯跑腿
[11:33] Okay, we’ve both made mistakes. 我们都犯了错
[11:34] Am I crazy for trying to force Taylor 我强迫泰勒共度母女时光
[11:36] to spend mother/daughter time? 是我疯了吗
[11:37] No, I get it. 不 我懂
[11:38] You’re just anxious because, before you know it… 你只是紧张 因为在你还没意识到…
[11:41] Subaru commercial… 汽车广告
[11:46] Okay. 好了
[11:48] How are you gonna handle the Oliver situation? 你打算怎么处理奥利弗的事
[11:50] Well, if I forbid him from seeing Spencer, 如果我禁止他见斯宾塞
[11:52] it’s just gonna make him want to go over there more, 只会让他更想过去
[11:53] so I’m gonna have a chat with Spencer 所以我会找斯宾塞聊聊
[11:55] and set some ground rules. 制定一些基本规矩
[11:56] What’s your move with Taylor? 你对泰勒有什么打算
[11:57] I’m gonna go get some advice from Angela and Doris. 我去找安吉拉和多瑞丝要建议
[11:59] So if it goes wrong, I can blame them. 如果不对 我可以怪她们
[12:01] It’s nice to see I’m not the only one 看到你不止对我一人用这招
[12:02] you use that technique on. 真是太好了
[12:03] Yeah, but don’t worry. 对 别担心
[12:05] You’ll always be my favorite person to blame. 你永远是我最爱的替罪羊
[12:07] That’s sweet. 真幸福
[12:14] I don’t know what to do. 我不知道怎么办
[12:16] Taylor grew up overnight 泰勒一夜之间长大
[12:17] and doesn’t want to spend time with me, 不想再和我待在一起
[12:18] and Anna-Kat gave me lice. 安娜凯特把虱子传染给我了
[12:20] You have lice?! 你长了虱子
[12:21] Lice braids! 虱子辫子
[12:23] Had lice — past tense. Combed ’em all out. 长过虱子 过去式 全梳理下来了
[12:25] Combing doesn’t always work the first time. 第一次梳理不一定能清理干净
[12:27] I can’t believe you hugged me. 真不敢相信你抱了我
[12:28] So what?! I’m supposed to not go to restaurants 怎样 我长了虱子就不能来餐厅
[12:31] and hug my friends when I have lice? 抱朋友们
[12:32] Uh, yes. 是的
[12:34] Doris, say something. 多瑞丝 说点什么
[12:37] I’m three months pregnant. 我怀孕三个月了
[12:38] What? 什么
[12:39] So I also have a parasite 所以我体内也有
[12:40] sucking the nutrients out of my body. 寄生虫在吸取营养
[12:42] How did that happen? 怎么会这样
[12:44] I was in bed guzzling Chardonnay 我在床上喝白葡萄酒
[12:46] and watching Michael Phelps race a shark. 看菲尔普斯和鲨鱼比赛
[12:47] Then I got so worked up that I jumped Richard 我太激动 一下跳到理查德身上
[12:50] like it was the 17th of the month! 好像是每月17号那样
[12:52] That’s our bone day. 做爱日
[12:54] Oh, my God. 我的天
[12:56] – How are you feeling? – Pissed! -感觉如何 -气死了
[12:57] Pissed that I’m about to have my fourth child! 快生第四个孩子快气死了
[12:59] I had eight years until my youngest left for Princeton — 只剩八年老幺就上普林斯顿了
[13:01] September 10, 2025. 2025年9月10日
[13:04] Then I would jet off to Majorca, 那时我会飞去马略卡岛
[13:06] find a little villa on a cliff, 在悬崖上找处别墅
[13:07] learn to sculpt, 学习雕刻
[13:09] maybe take a lover — 也许遇到一位爱人
[13:10] possibly my sculpting teacher. 可能是我的雕刻老师
[13:11] Now this little creature moved my finish line. 现在这个小家伙推后了我的终点线
[13:13] By the time I get to Majorca, 等我去马略卡岛时
[13:15] I’m gonna be so old that my sculpting teacher 我就太老了 我的雕刻老师
[13:17] is gonna rebuff my aggressive advances. 将拒绝我的主动求爱
[13:19] Look, I come from a place 我受到的教育是
[13:21] where everything happens for a reason. 万事发生皆有因
[13:23] This may not be part of your plan, 虽说这不是你计划
[13:24] but it’s obviously part of the universe’s plan. 但显然这是上天的安排
[13:26] Oh! I see. 我知道了
[13:28] So if I poke you hard with this fork, 如果我用这把叉子用力戳你
[13:31] is that also part of the universe’s plan? 这也是上天的安排吗
[13:33] – Is it, Angela?! – Don’t be mad at me. -是吗 安吉拉 -别对我发火
[13:35] I’m not the one who uses “Rarely having sex” 又不是我将”几乎不做爱”
[13:37] as a form of birth control. 作为节育工具
[13:39] Should I have another baby, get a fresh start? 我应该再生一个吗 重新开始
[13:41] Are you crazy?! I’m not having a baby. 你疯了吗 我才不会生孩子
[13:43] I have to figure out a way to get closer to the one I have. 我只需要想办法亲近已经有的孩子
[13:46] They’re looking at you. 她们在看你
[13:47] Say something. 说点什么
[13:49] – Diaphragm. – Exactly. -避孕膜 -正是
[13:51] Whew! I got lucky on that one. 运气真好
[13:53] What else was in that coupon book? 赠券本上还有什么
[13:55] What am I gonna do, pillow fight? 我要做什么 枕头大战
[13:57] I could come up with something better than that. 我可以想到更好的
[14:00] Pillow fight! 枕头大战
[14:01] What the hell are you doing? 你在做什么
[14:02] Having the time of our lives! 享受开心的时刻
[14:04] I could hit you all day. 我可以打上你一整天
[14:07] I lied. That’s exhausting. 骗你的 好累
[14:11] No wonder sorority girls are in such good shape. 难怪姐妹会的人身材那么好
[14:13] – Are we done? – Look, I’m sorry. -完了吗 -对不起
[14:16] I just want to spend time with you. 我只想与你共度时光
[14:17] That’s why I broke out the old coupon book you gave me. 所以我才拿出你送我的旧赠券本
[14:20] Why didn’t you just use them when I gave them to you? 你为什么不在我送你的时候用
[14:24] I don’t actually know. 我不知道
[14:26] Mama! Will you squeeze the toothpaste on my toothbrush? 妈妈 帮我挤牙膏好吗
[14:29] Sure, honey! 好的 宝贝
[14:31] Just so you know, that’s why. 这就是原因
[14:33] What’s that supposed to mean? 这是什么意思
[14:34] You never used them because 你从来没用
[14:35] you were always so distracted by Anna-Kat. 因为你总是去照顾安娜凯特
[14:37] I mean, I get it. 我懂
[14:39] She’s had issues — has issues. 她以前有问题 现在有问题
[14:42] But she’s eight now. 但她现在8岁了
[14:43] She can put on her own toothpaste 她可以自己挤牙膏
[14:45] and take the crust off her toast. 切掉吐司的硬边
[14:46] I’ve seen her do it. 我见过她做这些事
[14:47] Have you seen her put the center 你见过她把指尖陀螺
[14:48] back in the fidget spinner? 减压器的中间盖装回去吗
[14:50] Only about a million times. 无数次
[14:52] Anna-Kat. 安娜凯特
[14:55] Taylor, honey, I feel terrible. 泰勒 亲爱的 真是对不起
[14:58] Tell you what. 跟你说
[15:00] I will let you have one free hit. 我让你免费打一下
[15:06] Never let your guard down! 永远不要放下警惕
[15:14] Oh, hey, Greg. 格雷格
[15:15] I was expecting Oliver. 我以为是奥利弗
[15:16] I sent him out for some lobster. 我让他出去买龙虾
[15:18] Got nostalgic for prison food. 有点怀念监狱食物
[15:20] I can’t believe my tax dollars paid for that. 真不敢相信我交的税就是这样用了
[15:22] You pay taxes? 你交税
[15:27] Greg, I know why you’re here. 格雷格 我知道你为什么来这里
[15:29] – You’re afraid I’m going to corrupt your boy. – Yes. -你担心我带坏你的儿子 -是的
[15:32] He looks up to you, and whether I like it or not, 他崇拜你 不管我喜不喜欢
[15:34] you’re a bit of a role model to him. 你是他的榜样
[15:35] Well, that’s — that’s understandable. 这是可以理解的
[15:38] I’d feel the same way about me 如果我刚搬到自己隔壁
[15:39] if I had just moved in next to myself. 我也会这样看待自己
[15:41] I will say, your confidence is quite intoxicating. 我得说 你的自信相当能感染人
[15:44] I’ve been drunk on it since birth. 我从出生后就一直沉醉其中
[15:47] You don’t want me hanging around him. 你不希望我和他来往
[15:49] – If that’s what you want, I’ll respect it. – Thank you. -如果这是你的想法 我尊重 -谢谢
[15:53] But you should know he’s been a real great asset to me. 但你应该知道 他对我而言很重要
[15:55] He has? 是吗
[15:58] I’m not used to showing weakness 我不习惯表现出弱点
[16:00] because, in business, it could cost you money. 因为在商界 这会损失金钱
[16:02] In prison, well, you end up with a terrible tee time. 在监狱 就会得到可怕的开球时间
[16:05] I must admit, I’ve been a bit lost since I got out. 我得承认 我出狱后有些迷惘
[16:08] Things have changed. 世道变了
[16:09] Do you know there’s no longer Blockbuster Video? 你知道没有百视达影碟出租店了吗
[16:11] Yeah. I miss Gerald’s employee picks. 是啊 我怀念杰拉尔德的员工推荐
[16:14] He and I were really simpatico. 他和我志趣相投
[16:15] Oliver’s getting me back up to speed. 奥利弗让我跟上节奏
[16:17] He’s a really great kid, 他是非常棒的孩子
[16:19] and that’s because he has great parents. 那是因为他有非常棒的父母
[16:21] I feel like you’re manipulating me. 我感觉你在操控我
[16:22] A little. 有点
[16:24] So, what’s it gonna take? 开个价
[16:26] What do you mean? 什么意思
[16:27] How much to make you change your mind? 多少钱能让你改变心意
[16:29] $10,000? 一万
[16:31] You can’t pay me to hang out with my son. 你不能买通我同意你和我儿子来往
[16:34] $1 million. 一百万
[16:35] – Seriously? – No. -真的吗 -不
[16:37] But now that I know there’s a price, 但现在我知道是有价的
[16:39] my lawyer will be in touch. 我的律师会联系你
[16:41] Ugh. Okay. 好吧
[16:44] Anna-Kat, chalk down. 安娜凯特 放下粉笔
[16:46] The days of me doing everything for you are over. 你让我为你做所有事的日子结束了
[16:49] New rule — if you can do it, you’re doing it. 新规矩 你能做的事要自己做
[16:51] For example, 举例说
[16:53] I know you can put toothpaste on your own toothbrush. 我知道你可以自己挤牙膏
[16:55] Taylor! 泰勒
[16:57] You can also start your own banana, 你可以自己剥香蕉皮
[16:59] stick a straw in a juice box, and put on your own tights. 把吸管插进果汁盒 自己穿上连裤袜
[17:01] Am I clear? 听明白了吗
[17:03] Yes. 是的
[17:05] Good. 很好
[17:06] Okay, Mama. 好的 妈妈
[17:08] I’ll just start doing everything all by myself. 我会开始自己做所有的事
[17:11] Nice try, but I know you can turn on and off 想得美 但我知道
[17:13] the waterworks like that. 你的眼泪说来就来
[17:15] Oliver! 奥利弗
[17:26] Listen, I no longer want you hanging out with Spencer. 听着 我不希望你再和斯宾塞来往
[17:29] He’s not the type of person we want you learning from. 我不希望你像他这种人学习
[17:31] Who said anything about learning? 谁说了学习
[17:33] Dad, Spencer’s an old man. 爸 斯宾塞老了
[17:35] He’s alone and has nobody in his life. 孤单一人 生活中没有其他人
[17:37] I’m happy to hang out with him and run errands. 我很乐意和他来往 帮他跑腿
[17:39] Oh, so you’re looking out for him? 你在照顾他吗
[17:40] Yeah, let me finish. 让我说完
[17:42] Once I become his confidante and best friend, 一旦我成为他的知己好友
[17:44] I could also become his sole heir. 我就能成为他唯一的继承人
[17:46] And that might pay off sooner rather than later, 这事宜早不宜迟
[17:47] based on the amount of aspartame he consumes. 考虑到他吃了那么多糖精
[17:49] – Oliver, I don’t think that — – Spencer has no family. -奥利弗 我不觉得… -他没家人
[17:52] But you know who does? 但你知道谁有
[17:53] You do, big guy. 你有 伙计
[17:55] And it’s a great family. 非常棒的家人
[17:57] Now, let’s do some backyard camping. 开始后院露营吧
[17:59] I feel like you’re manipulating me. 我感觉你在操控我
[18:02] A little. 有点
[18:08] I feel like I failed her as a mom. 我觉得我这个当妈失败了
[18:10] Just so you know, if we never had Anna-Kat, 你要知道 如果没生安娜凯特
[18:13] Taylor would be telling you 泰勒会告诉你
[18:14] you’re smothering her with attention 你太过关注令她窒息
[18:15] and ruining her life. 你毁了她的生活
[18:16] There’s no winning in parenting. 做家长没有赢
[18:18] I’m certainly not winning with Oliver. 我对奥利弗也没赢
[18:20] Don’t feel bad. 别难过
[18:21] It’s just Oliver’s nature. 这是奥利弗的天性
[18:22] – I don’t like it. – Neither do I. -我不喜欢 -我也是
[18:24] We need to treat him like a dog on a leash. 我们要当他是拴着链子的狗
[18:27] He’s gonna try sniffing around, 他会到处嗅
[18:28] but he needs to feel the tension of us 但他需要感受到我们永远会
[18:30] always yanking him back. 拉他回来的力度
[18:32] – Maybe we should cut ourselves more slack. – Yeah. -也许我们不应该对自己太苛责 -对
[18:34] None of our kids are on drugs or have face tattoos, 我们的孩子都没吸毒 没有脸上纹身
[18:37] and we’ve never lost track of a child for more than two hours. 而且我们从来没丢过孩子超过两小时
[18:39] You put it that way, we’re killing it. 这样说来 我们做家长做得太成功了
[18:41] So let’s put it that way. 那就这样说
[18:43] Thanks for making me feel better. 谢谢你安慰我
[18:45] Anytime. 随时
[18:58] – Raw cookie dough is so good. – Right? -生饼干面团真好吃 -对吧
[19:00] Totally worth playing diarrhea roulette for this. 完全值得冒腹泻的危险
[19:04] Thank you for talking to Anna-Kat. 谢谢你和安娜凯特谈
[19:06] Of course. 不客气
[19:08] I guess I was spending so much time on your little sister 我在你妹妹身上花了太多时间
[19:11] that our time got lost in the mix. 我们相处的时间减少了
[19:13] I’m so sorry, sweetie. 真是对不起 宝贝
[19:15] I really am. 真的
[19:17] Thanks, Mom. 谢谢你 妈妈
[19:18] If I could do it all over again, 如果我可以再来一次
[19:19] I would’ve given you more attention and fewer bugs. 我会多给你一些关注 少给些虫子
[19:23] Mama! 妈妈
[19:25] You’re a big girl! 你是个大姑娘了
[19:27] I’m sure, whatever it is, you can figure it out on your own. 我相信无论是什么事 你可以自己解决
[19:30] Okay! 好的
[19:33] I don’t know what to do with you little guys. 我不知道怎么处理你们这些小家伙
[19:36] I can’t keep you alive without a warm human host. 没有温暖的人类寄主你们无法活下去
[19:43] Welcome home. 欢迎回家
[19:51] I got some maternity clothes for the new mama. 我为准妈妈准备了孕妇装
[19:55] They’re really just shirts I’ve grown out of. 只是我胖到穿不了的衣服
[19:59] I’m sorry for giving you guys lice. 抱歉把虱子传染给你们
[20:01] But it could’ve been anybody. 任何人都有可能
[20:04] All right. 好吧
[20:07] I’m sorry to you, too. 对不起
美式主妇

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