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美式主妇(American Housewife)第2季第3集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 美式主妇(American Housewife)第2季第3集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:00] You got to love public school — free babysitting 怎能不爱公立学校 免费的保姆
[00:03] and a convenient place to throw away my car garbage. 又方便我扔掉车里的垃圾
[00:06] You ruined my son’s life! 你毁了我儿子的人生
[00:09] Ah, Tara Summers — 泰拉·萨莫斯
[00:10] my daughter’s boyfriend’s mother. 我女儿男友的妈
[00:12] If I had one free punch for anyone in the world, 如果在这世上我能随便揍一个人
[00:14] it would be Bryant Gumbel. 我会揍布莱恩特·冈贝尔
[00:16] But if I had two, it would be Tara Summers. 如果能揍两个人 第二个就是泰拉·萨莫斯
[00:18] Eyo doesn’t want to be an anesthesiologist anymore. 埃约不想成为麻醉医师了
[00:21] He wants to be a cartoon artist. 他想做卡通画家
[00:23] He spends the day at your house, 在你家待了一天
[00:24] and now he wants to “Follow his dreams.” 现在他就想”追求他的梦想”
[00:26] Sounds like a real bad seed. 听起来真是一粒坏种
[00:28] – Hi, Mom. – Hi, honey. -妈妈 -宝贝
[00:30] Mama, can Autumn and I have a playdate? 妈妈 奥托姆可以和我一起玩吗
[00:32] Why must all of our children insist on getting along? 为什么我们的孩子一定要坚持合得来
[00:35] Of course you can, sweetie. 当然可以 宝贝
[00:38] Fine. But it has to be at my house. 行 一定得在我家
[00:40] If Autumn spends a day with you, she’ll come back wanting 如果奥托姆和你待一天 她回家后
[00:42] to be something awful when she grows up — 可能会说长大了想做可怕的职业
[00:44] like a teacher. 比如说老师
[00:46] Come on. 我们走
[00:47] Hey, Mom, is cool if I catch a ride home with my friends today? 妈 我今天坐朋友的车回家行吗
[00:51] Yes. And nice job joining the popular clique. 好 真不错 能打进受欢迎的小圈子
[00:54] Did you know I was the most popular girl 你知道吗 我曾经是五千人高中里
[00:56] in a high school of 5,000 people? 最受欢迎的女生
[00:57] I did, because you talk about it constantly. 我知道 因为你经常提起
[00:59] Well! Somebody sounds jealous. 某人听起来有些嫉妒哦
[01:02] Have you seen Oliver? 你看到奥利弗了吗
[01:04] Yeah, he took the bus to ballet practice. 他坐巴士去练芭蕾了
[01:07] I’ve been seen talking to my mom for a really long time, 我已经和我妈聊天太久了
[01:10] so I’m gonna go while I still have friends. 我得趁还有朋友时赶紧撤
[01:14] Bye, Taylor! Have fun! 拜拜 泰勒 玩得开心
[01:16] First day without your blankie! I’m so proud of you! 第一天不带安全小毛毯 真为你骄傲
[01:20] Is it possible I came to school for nothing? 有没有可能我来学校一个孩子也没接到
[01:23] I’ve achieved what every stay-at-home mom dreams of — 我实现了所有全职妈妈的梦想
[01:26] a free afternoon. 拥有一个自由的下午
[01:28] I’m going to Target to sit on the lawn furniture! 我要去百货公司坐在草坪家具上
[01:39] So that’s why I was never picked first for any team sports. 所以任何团队体育运动选人时 我从没被第一个选上
[01:42] Anyways, thanks for listening. 总之 感谢倾听
[01:46] Katie. 凯蒂
[01:47] Shouldn’t you be picking up Oliver from ballet? 奥利弗学完芭蕾 你不是要接他回家吗
[01:49] Oh, crap! I forgot. 见鬼 我忘了
[01:51] I’m still a little disoriented 我在百货公司打盹醒来
[01:53] from getting woken up from my Target nap. 还有点迷糊
[01:54] If they don’t want you to put three lawn chairs together 他们如果不想让你把三张草坪椅
[01:56] to form a bed, there should be a sign. 拼成床 应该竖块牌子
[01:58] You got to be careful, or they will ban you. 你得小心 否则人家会禁止你再去
[02:00] Way ahead of you. I rotate Targets. 早想到了 我每次去不同分店
[02:03] – I got to go pick up Oliver. – No, no, no. -我得去接奥利弗 -等等
[02:05] Before you leave, 你先别走
[02:06] I’m doing a reading of my soon-to-be-published book, 我要为即将出版的书举办一个读书会
[02:08] “John Stuart Mill and the Consequences 《约翰·斯图尔特·密尔
[02:09] of a Thoroughgoing Empiricist Outlook” — 与彻底的经验主义展望的后果》
[02:11] I just like saying it — 说出来真爽
[02:12] and I need some help choosing a passage. 我需要你帮助选章节
[02:16] Now, this passage 这一章节
[02:17] about his marriage to Harriet Taylor works, 他和哈莉特·泰勒的婚姻应该可以
[02:19] but feels a little nichey. Don’t you think it’s nichey? 但感觉有点太过定位 你觉得呢
[02:22] So nichey. 太过定位
[02:23] So then, I considered this passage 然后我考虑这段
[02:25] about when Mill was the colonial administrator 讲米尔在英国东印度公司
[02:27] in the British East India Company, 做殖民地管理人
[02:29] but then I thought — you don’t put 但我想 预告片里
[02:30] “Luke, I am your father” in the trailer. 不能播出”卢克 我是你爹”
[02:32] No, you do not. 当然不行
[02:34] So I was wondering, what’s your favorite passage? 所以我想知道 你最喜欢哪段
[02:38] Gosh, honey. 老天 亲爱的
[02:40] There are just so many that I love. 我喜欢的太多了
[02:43] The first one, obviously. 显然第一章
[02:46] And the second one… is just… 还有第二章 真是…
[02:56] You haven’t read my book, have you? 你还没读我的书对吗
[02:58] You know if it doesn’t come in magazine form 你知道如果不是杂志模样
[03:00] and have pictures of celebrities, 上面有名人照片
[03:01] I have no chance of staying awake. 我不可能保持清醒地看完
[03:04] I can’t read this right now. I got to go pick up Oliver. 我现在不能看 我得去接奥利弗
[03:06] And they say tired driving is just as bad as drunk driving. 大家都说疲劳驾驶和醉驾一样糟糕
[03:09] Do you support drunk driving, Greg? 你支持醉驾吗 格雷格
[03:12] I didn’t think so. 我想也是
[03:24] Drive! Go, go, go! 开车 快
[03:26] Did you just try to pull off 你刚准备在退休前
[03:27] one last heist before retirement, 完成最后一单大劫案
[03:28] but the crew member you trusted the most 但你最信任的队友
[03:30] turned out to be working for the feds the entire time? 原来一直为联邦调查局工作
[03:32] What?! No! I just want to leave — now! 什么 不 我只想离开 快
[03:34] Punch it! 快开车
[03:37] Seriously, Oliver, what is going on? 说真的 奥利弗 出什么事了
[03:39] Did something happen in ballet? 芭蕾课上出事了吗
[03:41] No, I just want to go. 不 我只想离开
[03:43] If you won’t talk… 如果你不说
[03:45] then I’m gonna ask your teacher. 我就去问你的老师
[04:02] Fine. You win. Let’s go home. 好吧 你赢了 我们回家
[04:04] Sucker! 真没用
[04:05] Let this be a lesson to you — trust no one. 就当一个教训 不要相信任何人
[04:07] – Not even your own mother. – That’s a terrible lesson! -包括你妈 -这算什么教训
[04:11] Excuse me, Nina? 打扰下 尼娜
[04:14] Oliver has been acting a little weird, 奥利弗表现有点奇怪
[04:17] and I was wondering if it’s something that I should know about. 我想知道是否有我需要知道的事
[04:20] Actually, there was…an incident. 事实上 的确有件小意外
[04:23] Oliver was paired up with Gina Tuscadero. 奥利弗和吉娜·塔斯卡罗分成了一组
[04:25] The granddaughter of Pinky Tuscadero, 粉红塔斯卡罗的孙女
[04:27] which would make her Leather Tuscadero’s grand-niece? 那她岂不是皮衣塔斯卡罗的侄孙女
[04:30] Pinky and Leather are fictional characters from “Happy Days.” 粉红和皮衣是《快乐时光》中的虚构人物
[04:33] Gina is a real person. 吉娜是真人
[04:35] Well, you’re no fun. 你真没意思
[04:36] Oliver and Gina were practicing lifts. 奥利弗和吉娜在练习托举
[04:42] And right in front of the class… 然后在全班面前
[04:49] …he kind of got a lift in his pants… 他的裤子也在托举
[04:51] …if you know what I mean. 你懂吧
[04:53] Oliver chubbed out? 奥利弗的小弟起来了
[04:55] Yes. That’s what I mean. 对 我是这意思
[04:59] We’re not talking about this — not now, not ever. 我们不谈这事 现在不谈 永远不谈
[05:08] A-Are you smiling? 你在笑吗
[05:11] No. 没有
[05:16] Why are you so uptight? 你为什么这么烦躁
[05:18] I am your mother. I used to bathe you. 我是你妈 我以前给你洗过澡
[05:20] Yeah, well, I got new stuff since then. 后来我又长了东西
[05:24] Oliver, come on! Let’s talk about this. 奥利弗 别这样 我们谈谈
[05:27] There’s nothing to discuss. 没什么可谈的
[05:28] I’m never going to ballet again. 我再也不去上芭蕾课了
[05:31] What’s wrong with him? 他怎么了
[05:32] Remember the deal we made when we decided to have kids? 记得我们决定要孩子时说好的吗
[05:35] You handle the vagina questions and I handle the penisy ones? 阴道问题归你 小弟问题归我
[05:38] Exactly. 太对了
[05:41] We had the best playdate ever. 我们刚刚度过了最棒的玩伴日
[05:44] Anna-Kat, tell your mom about it, 安娜凯特 告诉你妈妈
[05:45] and don’t leave out any detail. 别落下任何细节
[05:47] Well, we went to the petting zoo. 我们去了宠物乐园
[05:49] That sounds like fun. 听起来很有趣
[05:50] It was fun, but then I learned some pretty disturbing things 是很有趣 然后我知道了令人相当不安的事
[05:53] about where meat comes from. 关于肉的来源
[05:54] – Oh, no. – Oh, yes. -不 -是的
[05:56] And after talking it out with Mrs. Summers… 在和萨莫斯太太谈过后
[05:58] That’s me. 就是我
[05:59] …I’ve decided to become a vegan. 我决定做素食者
[06:05] You bitch. 你个贱人
[06:07] Have fun with your daughter’s new lifestyle. 祝你享受你女儿新的生活方式
[06:10] P.S. — I literally told her how the sausage is made. 还有 我告诉她了香肠是怎么做的
[06:13] Bye. 拜拜
[06:16] Anna-Kat’s a vegan. 安娜凯特成了素食者
[06:24] The quiet makes me nervous. 沉默令我紧张
[06:25] If she is a vegan, 如果她是素食者
[06:27] that means I will have to cook two meals every meal. 就意味着每顿饭我得做两顿饭
[06:30] It doubles my workload. 工作量增加一倍
[06:32] And I don’t want to shop at the weird aisle 我不想在超市奇怪的
[06:33] in the grocery store. I hate that aisle! 货架区购物 我讨厌那个区
[06:35] They sell soup in boxes. It’s unnatural. 汤装在盒子里 有违天理
[06:37] They do have nice lotions, though. 有些洗液的确不错
[06:39] Just when you think you have everything under control, 刚以为一切尽在掌握中
[06:40] your kids change on you. 你的孩子又变了
[06:42] I don’t change! You don’t see me having growth. 我就不会变 你没看到我长什么
[06:44] I certainly do not. 当然没有
[06:46] I’ll handle Anna-Kat. You talk to Oliver. 我搞定安娜凯特 你跟奥利弗谈
[06:48] Got it. 明白
[06:49] Wait. What’s wrong with Oliver? 等等 奥利弗怎么了
[06:51] He had a moment in ballet class where he was… 他在芭蕾课上出现了
[06:55] you at my nana’s funeral. 你在我奶奶葬礼上的情况
[06:57] We agreed that was not my fault. 我们都同意那不是我的错
[06:59] We were packed in like sardines, and you look sexy in black. 当时挤的像罐头沙丁鱼 你穿黑色很性感
[07:03] Anna-Kat, animals are actually happy to be eaten. 安娜凯特 动物很开心被吃掉
[07:07] We’re doing them a solid. 我们是帮它们的忙
[07:08] Non-vegan food is full of hormones, Mama. 非素食食品充满了激素 妈妈
[07:11] Do you want me to get my period when I’m 9? 我希望我9岁来月经吗
[07:13] I’m gonna kill Tara Summers! 我要杀了泰拉·萨莫斯
[07:15] I am a vegan, I will always be a vegan, 我是素食者 永远都是
[07:18] and there is nothing you can do to change my mind. 你做什么都无法改变我的心意
[07:22] I’ll give you 10 bucks to stop. 我给你十块钱放弃
[07:24] Please. 拜托
[07:26] Son, you’re an Otto. 儿子 你是奥图家的人
[07:28] That means you’re genetically predisposed to humiliation. 这意味着你有丢脸的基因
[07:31] Your cousin Freddy kissed his own mother 你堂哥弗雷迪亲了他妈妈
[07:33] because he panicked on a kiss cam at a Knicks game. 看篮球比赛时被”亲亲镜头”选中让他慌了
[07:36] Your grandfather Reginald had a lactose issue, 你爷爷雷金纳德有乳糖不耐症
[07:38] which ultimately made his roommate, 最终令他的室友
[07:40] Donald Whoopie, millions. 唐纳德·琥碧成为百万富翁
[07:42] – Your great-grandfather Frederick Otto — – Dad, what’s your point? -你的曾祖父弗雷德里克 -爸 你想说什么
[07:44] My point is, they didn’t let those 我想说 他们没让
[07:46] embarrassing moments define them. 这些出丑时刻定义自己
[07:47] Yeah, but it did define them. 但这些时刻的确定义了他们
[07:49] All these years later, 时到如今
[07:50] that’s all they’re remembered for, right? 大家记得他们的就是这些事 对吗
[07:58] I’m gonna need some time to regroup. 我需要点时间重新组织下语言
[08:03] – How did it go? – Awful. You? -怎么样 -糟糕 你呢
[08:05] She almost convinced me that cheese has feelings. 她差点说服我芝士有感觉
[08:07] – Had to get out of there. – Well, at least only two -我必须出来 -至少
[08:09] – of the three kids are — – Hey, guys. -三个中只有两个… -你们好
[08:11] What do you think? 怎么样
[08:12] Never mind. Three for three. 当我没说 三个全中
[08:14] So you like it? 你们喜欢
[08:15] What has gotten into you? 你什么毛病
[08:17] You are not allowed to dye your hair 你不先获得同意
[08:19] without asking for permission. 不能染头发
[08:20] Uh, I’m pretty sure I can, because I just did. 我确信我可以 因为我染了
[08:22] – And it’s my hair! – That is not your hair! -这是我的头发 -那不是你的头发
[08:24] As long as you live in this house, it’s my hair. 只要你还住在这个家 那就是我的头发
[08:27] Everything you have is mine! 你拥有的一切都是我的
[08:29] Your liver? I’m letting you borrow it. 你的肝 我让你借着用的
[08:31] You could at least admit it’s cute. 你至少可以承认很可爱
[08:32] Cute?! It’s not cute! 可爱 一点也不可爱
[08:36] A pig in a skirt — that’s cute! 小猪穿裙子才叫可爱
[08:39] These girls are killing me! 这些姑娘真是气死我了
[08:41] I need to lie down. 我需要躺下来
[08:42] Where are you going? 你去哪里
[08:44] Target. 百货公司
[08:49] My girls are growing up and not bending to my will. 我的女儿们长大了 不听我的话
[08:51] They’re forming their own…opinions. 她们有了自己的意见
[08:55] It’s your fault, Katie. 这是你的错 凯蒂
[08:56] You always ask them “What’s the matter?” 你总是在他们哭的时候问
[08:58] when they’re crying. 怎么啦
[08:59] Personally, Katie, I don’t see what’s wrong 在我看来 凯蒂 你的孩子们
[09:01] with your children being their own people. 有自己的想法 没什么不对
[09:02] – Surprise, surprise. – What? -好意外啊 -怎么了
[09:04] Taylor is just trying to be popular, 泰勒只是想受欢迎
[09:05] and Anna-Kat is just showing some independence. 安娜凯特只是表现出独立
[09:08] Who invited lesbian Dr. Phil to breakfast? 谁邀请女同菲尔医生来吃早餐的
[09:11] Uh, just because I care about my kids’ feelings… 我关心我孩子的感受又怎样
[09:13] Yeah, so dumb. 真是愚蠢
[09:15] You’re dealing with a full-on uprising. 你面对的是全面叛乱
[09:17] You can’t talk things through with them. 你不能通过谈话解决问题
[09:19] You need to crush them before your house 你得碾压他们 以免你家
[09:21] – becomes like Angela’s. – Um, my house -变得跟安吉拉家一样 -我的家
[09:23] is a safe space where everyone is allowed 是个安全空间 每个人都可以
[09:24] to openly express their truths. 公开表达自己的真心话
[09:28] Kids! 孩子们
[09:30] I respect that you enjoy spraying water in the house, 我尊重你们喜欢在房子里喷水
[09:33] but I’ve asked you to stop, 但我要求过你们停止
[09:35] and now I’m feeling a little unheard. 现在我感觉你们有点无视我
[09:39] I can see you’re not in a place to discuss the issue right now, 我可以看出来你们现在不想讨论这个问题
[09:42] so we can talk about it at bedtime. 我们睡前再谈
[09:43] Which is, as always, at your discretion. 当然 你们自己决定
[09:47] So yeah, I’m a good mother. 没错 我是个好妈妈
[09:50] – But your story didn’t prove — – I’m a good mother. -但你的故事并没有证明 -我是好妈妈
[09:54] Kids, line up! 孩子们 排队
[09:58] You are all going to start behaving right now. 从现在开始你们要乖乖听话
[10:01] Okay, Mom, I’ll dye my hair back. 好的 妈妈 我会把头发颜色洗掉
[10:03] And I’ll eat meat again. 我会继续吃肉
[10:04] And I’ll stop with the erections. 我不会再勃起
[10:05] Yes! 太棒了
[10:06] I’m the best mom ever. 我是世上最棒的妈妈
[10:08] So, which passage? 哪一章
[10:10] Oh, God! I must’ve fallen asleep. 老天 我肯定睡着了
[10:12] Come on, Katie. What’s your favorite passage? 凯蒂 你最喜欢哪章
[10:15] I don’t need to pick a passage. 我不需要选
[10:17] I know everything about this guy. 我了解这家伙的一切
[10:19] You don’t even know his name. 你连他的名字都不知道
[10:21] You keep calling him “Rod Stewart Mill.” 你一直叫他罗德·斯图尔特·米尔
[10:23] Mom, my phone’s not working. 妈 我电话坏了
[10:25] Get your keys. We need to go get a new one. 拿上车钥匙 我们得买新的
[10:27] What is wrong with you? 你怎么了
[10:28] Why are you just standing there?! 你为什么站着不动
[10:30] This is my life, and I’m being cut off! 这是我的人生 我断线了
[10:32] I’m missing things! 我错过了好多
[10:33] Well, Taylor, since you’re doing what you want with your hair, 泰勒 既然你对你的头发为所欲为
[10:36] I’m doing what I want with my phone. 那么我对我的手机也为所欲为
[10:38] You see, it’s mine, because I paid for it, 手机是我的 是我付钱买的
[10:40] so I turned the service off. 我把机停了
[10:42] You are the worst! 你是最坏的
[10:44] A couple of days without her cellphone — 几天没手机
[10:46] that just might do it. 可能管用
[10:48] And just to be sure… 为了确保…
[10:51] Where’s all my stuff?! 我的东西呢
[10:53] If you’re old enough to dye your own hair, 如果你年纪大到可以染头发
[10:54] then you’re old enough to get your own stuff! 你就可以买自己的东西
[10:56] – You got rid of all her things? – I did. -你清空了她的东西吗 -是的
[10:59] Everything? Her bed, her dresser? 所有的 床 梳妆台
[11:00] – All of it’s in the garage. – How did you — -全在车库 -你怎么…
[11:02] You know how when a child is stuck under a car, 你知道孩子被困在车下
[11:04] a mother’s love can give her superhuman strength? 母爱可以让母亲力大无比
[11:06] Turns out, it also kicks in when a mother’s really pissed. 原来 母亲非常生气时也一样
[11:10] And you. 还有你
[11:11] You’re coming with me to shop for your very own dinner. 你跟我一起去为你的晚餐购物
[11:14] That sounds like fun. 听起来很有趣
[11:15] Sorry, Katie. I just can’t get my head around this. 抱歉 凯蒂 我想不明白
[11:17] That dresser’s 200 pounds. 梳妆台重200磅
[11:18] Rage, Greg. It makes me strong. 格雷格 愤怒令我强壮
[11:28] Welcome to Hell. 欢迎来到地狱
[11:30] This aisle is filled with all sorts of vegan nightmares. 这个货架区充满了各种素食噩梦
[11:33] Here’s some deodorant that doesn’t work, 这里有不管用的除臭剂
[11:35] something called yeast butter, 还有东西叫酵母黄油
[11:36] and — ooh — a guy with his hair in a bun. 还有 扎丸子头的男人
[11:38] He looks homeless, but he’s spending 15 bucks on hemp milk. 看起来无家可归 但他花15块买大麻牛奶
[11:42] Okay. 好了
[11:43] For dinner, I was thinking 晚餐做什么呢 我在想
[11:46] I’ll just fill this thing with this slimy stuff. 把这个黏黏的东西塞进这个东西里
[11:49] As long as it didn’t have parents, I’ll eat it. 只要它们没爸妈 我就吃
[11:52] Excuse me. 不好意思
[11:53] Everything in this aisle is just so natural. 这个货架区的一切都是纯天然
[11:55] Ugh. I need a bath and a turkey leg. 我需要洗个澡外加火鸡腿
[11:58] Katie Otto, in my aisle, buying tofu. 凯蒂·奥图 在我的货架区买豆腐
[12:02] Give it a rest, Tara. 省省吧 泰拉
[12:03] No, it’s still fun. 不 依然很好玩
[12:05] Anna-Kat, did you know that leather comes from cow skin? 安娜凯特 你知道皮革是从牛身上剥下来的吗
[12:08] Your mother’s purse used to be an animal. 你妈妈的包以前是动物
[12:11] Oh. No. Not this purse. 不 这个不是
[12:14] Excuse me. 不好意思
[12:16] Would you please get that blue jar of Veganaise for me? 麻烦帮我拿一下那个蓝色罐子的素菜
[12:18] My pleasure. 我的荣幸
[12:22] No. It’s my pleasure. 不 是我的荣幸
[12:32] Sloppy joes? 牛肉酱汉堡
[12:34] Sloppy joes are my favorite. 我最爱牛肉酱汉堡
[12:36] They are? 是吗
[12:37] Too bad you don’t eat meat anymore. 只可惜你不吃肉了
[12:39] Your dinner is this. 你的晚餐是这个
[12:41] It’s called brown-loaf. 这个叫棕糕
[12:43] And it tastes exactly like it sounds. 吃起来和名字一个味
[12:46] Hey, you should picture that next time 你下次托举吉娜·塔斯卡罗的时候
[12:47] you lift Gina Tuscadero. 应该想象这个画面
[12:50] Okay, Mom. 好了 妈
[12:52] I get it. 我懂
[12:53] I can’t use your plates or your silverware. 我不能用你的盘子和餐具
[12:56] But come on. It’s sloppy joes. I’ll make a mess. 拜托 这是牛肉酱 我会弄得一团糟
[12:58] Actually, blondie, you don’t get it. 金发妹 你吃不上
[13:00] If you’re old enough to dye your hair, 如果你年轻大到可以染头发
[13:01] then you’re old enough 那么你就可以
[13:02] to make your own dinner with your own food. 用你自己的食材自己做晚餐
[13:05] I’m calling Child Services! 我要打电话给儿童服务机构
[13:06] With what? 用什么打
[13:09] Uprising crushed. 叛乱被镇压
[13:10] Opinions and ideas squelched. 意见和想法被碾压
[13:12] Children — sad. Mom — happy. 孩子们 难过 妈妈 开心
[13:15] Husband — messy. 老公 一团糟
[13:17] How does it taste, Anna-Kat? 味道如何 安娜凯特
[13:19] Brown and loafy? 棕色的 糕味
[13:22] It tastes like dirt. 像泥土
[13:24] I love dirt. 我喜欢泥土
[13:26] I just used the family computer 我刚用家里的电脑
[13:27] to order myself a pizza and an air mattress. 订了个披萨和充气床垫
[13:30] Should be here in 30 minutes or less. 30分钟左右就到
[13:32] How the hell did you do that? 你怎么做到的
[13:34] I have some birthday money saved up, 我存了些生日红包
[13:35] and the Internet is awesome. 而且网络很赞
[13:37] It is awesome. 的确很赞
[13:39] The Internet, not that she outsmarted you. 我是说网络 不是说她比你聪明
[13:42] That’s awful. 太糟糕了
[13:43] Brown-loaf awful. 棕糕式的糟糕
[13:45] Brown-loaf is my new favorite. 棕糕是我最新的最爱
[13:47] Wow, Katie, you have really lost control. 凯蒂 你完全失去了控制权
[13:53] I cracked down on my kids, like you suggested, 我听从你的建议 镇压自己的孩子
[13:56] but it only made them crappier. 结果让他们更顽劣
[13:57] Well, then, you have to double down. 那你得加大力度
[13:59] Give Taylor a one-way bus ticket to Norwalk. 给泰勒去诺瓦克的单程车票
[14:01] Let her fend for herself, 让她自己管自己
[14:02] live in a box with her huffer friends, 和吸毒的朋友住在纸箱里
[14:04] and she’ll come crawling back. 她会爬着回来的
[14:05] Now, as for Anna-Kat, I’m thinking, 至于安娜凯特 我在想
[14:07] uh…dog crate for a few days, 关几天狗笼子
[14:09] and then throw in a hamburger. 然后扔个汉堡进去
[14:11] Saying things like that is why those people 说这些话就是那些人
[14:13] came and talked to you at your house. 上门找你谈话的原因
[14:15] You know what I think you should do — 我觉得你应该
[14:16] talk to them — not as a parent, but as a person. 找他们谈谈 不是以母亲身份 而是以普通人
[14:19] Oh, my God, here we go. 我的天 又来了
[14:20] Listen, if you shut your kids down all the time, 如果你总是禁止你的孩子做什么
[14:23] they’ll start doing things behind your back. 他们会开始背着你活动
[14:24] My parents gave me a long leash, 我父母给了我很多自由
[14:26] so I felt comfortable talking to them. 所以我很乐意和他们谈
[14:28] And by the time I was Taylor’s age, 我在泰勒这个年纪
[14:30] I knew I could tell them I was gay. 我知道我可以告诉他们我是同性恋
[14:32] Some of my friends weren’t so lucky. 我有些朋友就没这么幸运了
[14:34] They hid who they were and led a secret life, 他们隐藏真我 导致过着秘密生活
[14:36] which sucked for them. 真是差劲
[14:38] So, sure, your kids need to know you as a parent, 没错 你的孩子需要知道你是家长
[14:41] but at a certain age, they need to know you as a person. 但到了一定年纪 他们需要知道你也是人
[14:44] Give them your heart and give them your soul, 把你的心和灵魂交给他们
[14:46] and they’ll know they can come to you with anything. 他们就会知道有任何事都能找你谈
[14:50] If Katie wasn’t here, you and I would not be friends. 如果没有凯蒂 我们不可能做朋友
[14:56] So, I’m going to stop taking Doris’ advice 我不想再听多瑞丝的建议
[14:58] and try Angela’s way. 我会试下安吉拉的办法
[14:59] I’m gonna embrace the fact that Taylor’s changing 我会接受泰勒在改变的事实
[15:01] and try talking to her — like a person. 以普通人的身份和她谈谈
[15:03] Hey, if that works on her, maybe you should try it on me. 如果对她管用 也许你应该在我身上试试
[15:06] Noooo! 不
[15:08] Are you gonna try talking to Oliver again? 你准备再跟奥利弗谈吗
[15:10] Yeah. You know, I finally found a passage for my reading, 我终于决定了读书会读哪段
[15:12] and it inspired me to try to give him some perspective. 这些内容启发我跟他谈谈未来
[15:16] So you inspired yourself? 你启发了你自己
[15:18] Yeah, well… 是的
[15:20] I guess I did. 我想是的
[15:22] Perhaps you should read it. 也许你应该读读
[15:24] It may help you with Taylor, as well. 也许能帮你解决泰勒的问题
[15:33] You’re doing homework without being forced or threatened? 你在做作业 没人强迫你或威胁你
[15:36] Yes. See what you’ve reduced me to? 是的 看你让我沦落到什么地步了
[15:40] I came here to tell you that when I was your age, 我是来告诉你 我在你这么大时
[15:44] I desperately wanted a belly ring. 非常想穿脐环
[15:46] But instead of asking Grandma for permission, 但我没征求你外婆的同意
[15:49] I had Jill Tate shove a safety pin 我让吉尔·塔特用安全别针
[15:51] right through my belly button. 穿过了我的肚脐
[15:52] Didn’t that hurt? 不痛吗
[15:53] It would’ve, but I was super hi– 当然痛 但我当时特别嗨
[15:56] I had a super-high pain tolerance back then. 我当时特别能忍痛
[15:59] So, anyway, 总之
[16:01] my piercing got infected, obviously, 穿孔感染了
[16:03] but I couldn’t ask my parents for help. 但我不能向父母寻求帮助
[16:05] So what’d you do? 你做了什么
[16:06] Wore a lot of baggy shirts. 穿宽松的衣服
[16:07] And eventually, I had to steal my dog’s antibiotics, 最终我只能偷我家狗的抗生素
[16:10] which did the trick. 有效
[16:12] But without his medication, Duke lost most of his fur. 但都克没药吃 失去了大部分的毛
[16:19] I’m sorry I dyed my hair without permission. 抱歉我没征求同意就染了头发
[16:21] Why didn’t you come talk to me first? 你为什么不先找我谈呢
[16:23] Because — I knew you would say no. 因为 我知道你不会同意
[16:26] Sounds like me. 是的
[16:27] How ’bout this? 这样吧
[16:29] I won’t automatically say no to things 我不再不加思索地反对
[16:32] if you promise to talk to me first. 只要你答应先跟我谈
[16:34] Deal. 好的
[16:35] – So I can keep my hair? – Absolutely not. -我可以保留这个颜色 -当然不行
[16:37] That is not grandfathered into our new understanding. 这点不纳入我们的新协议
[16:40] And even with our new understanding, 哪怕我们间有了新的协议
[16:41] I still would say no. 我依然会反对
[16:43] I don’t see what I’ve won here. 我没明白我有什么好处
[16:45] Very little. 非常小的好处
[16:49] How did it go? 怎么样
[16:51] I gave him my best stuff, but he’s still not going to ballet. 我读了最精彩的部分 他依然不去跳芭蕾
[16:54] Ooh. Suddenly, I feel underdressed. 我突然觉得自己穿得太不正式了
[17:00] Basically, I told Oliver he shouldn’t let embarrassment 我告诉奥利弗他不应该让尴尬
[17:02] stop him from doing something he loves 阻止他做自己喜爱的事
[17:03] and he needs to soldier through it. 他需要勇敢熬过去
[17:04] And even though it doesn’t seem like it now, 哪怕现在不太可能
[17:06] one day, this will all just be a funny story he tells at parties. 总有一天 这事将成为他在派对上讲述的笑话
[17:08] I’ve got a much shorter story about my talk with Taylor. 我跟泰勒的谈话有个简洁版本
[17:11] I crushed it! 我大获全胜
[17:17] Who’s doing this? 这是谁干的
[17:21] My reading is in an hour! I can’t find any of my belts! 一小时后就是读书会 我找不到皮带
[17:24] Leather belts are made out of animals, 皮带的原料是动物
[17:25] so I gave them all a proper burial. 所以我把它们体面地埋葬了
[17:29] I will help you kill Tara Summers. 我会帮你杀了泰拉·萨莫斯
[17:30] Okay. But I want this face to be the last one she sees. 好的 但她临终前最后见到的一定要是这张脸
[17:34] Honey, you look great. Don’t worry. 亲爱的 你看起来很棒 别担心
[17:36] Kids, I made a new recipe — 孩子们 我做了新菜式
[17:40] veggie chicken. 素鸡肉
[17:43] What’s it made out of? 这是什么做的
[17:44] Tofu. 豆腐
[17:46] And what’s the bone made out of? 骨头是什么做的
[17:51] Also tofu. 也是豆腐
[17:55] Even though I have to talk things out more with Taylor, 尽管我需要多和泰勒谈
[17:57] Anna-Kat is 8. 但安娜凯特才8岁
[17:59] I don’t have to treat her like a person. 我不需要把她当成人对待
[18:00] Lying to her works just fine. 对她说谎非常管用
[18:09] Good crowd. 好多人
[18:10] And that’s why I love you. 所以我爱你
[18:17] Good evening. 晚上好
[18:19] My name is Gregory Otto, and I am the author. 我是格雷格里·奥图 本书的作者
[18:21] I’d like to begin the evening with a reading from my book 今晚先从读我的书开始
[18:24] “John Stuart Mill and the Consequences 《约翰·斯图尔特·密尔
[18:27] of a Thoroughgoing Empiricist Outlook.” 与彻底的经验主义展望的后果》
[18:30] “London, 1806. 伦敦 1806年
[18:34] A philosopher is born.” 一位哲学家诞生了
[18:36] It’s too bad the advice Greg gave Oliver didn’t work, 真遗憾 格雷格给奥利弗的建议没用
[18:39] because it was spot-on. 因为那是非常好的建议
[18:41] “…John’s father, 约翰的父亲
[18:42] historian and political theorist James Mill…” 历史学家及政治理论家詹姆斯·米尔
[18:45] Oh, my God. It’s just like “The Matrix.” 我的天 这就跟《黑客帝国》一样
[18:48] Oliver can’t be told how to soldier through embarrassment. 奥利弗不能被告知如何勇敢熬过出丑
[18:50] He has to see it for himself. 他必须自己发现
[18:52] “…all it knows from the external world. …来自于外部世界
[18:54] Whatever pleasure is derived from internal processes 源自内部过程的任何快乐
[18:57] can be attribute to the external stimuli. 都可以归因于外部刺激
[19:13] “Mill’s canonical work on utilitarianism, 米尔对功利主义的经典研究
[19:17] aptly entitled ‘Utilitarianism’, 适当地称为功利主义
[19:20] argues for a thoroughgoing empiricist, himself, 支持他自己是彻底的经验主义
[19:23] a trait inherited from Bentham and all other conclusions…” 这一特点继承于边沁和其他人的总结
[19:26] Thank you. 谢谢
[19:30] I get what you did. 我明白你所做的
[19:32] You were publicly embarrassed, but you didn’t quit. 你在公众前出丑 但你没有放弃
[19:35] Yep. 对
[19:36] That’s…why I had your mother do that. 所以我让你妈妈那样做
[19:40] So you’re not gonna quit ballet? 你不会放弃芭蕾吗
[19:41] No. I’m just gonna triple up on tights. 不会 我会穿三条紧身裤
[19:48] You. 你
[19:49] What? 怎么了
[19:50] We talked about one of us embarrassing ourselves to make a point. 我们谈过我们其中一个出丑来表达观点
[19:53] Did you really think it was going to be me? 你认为会是我吗
[19:55] I thought maybe, but I live a whole secret life in my head. 我想有可能 但我在脑海中过着另一种秘密生活
[19:58] I thought you sounded great out there. 我觉得你刚才读得非常棒
[20:00] And when your book comes out on tape, 等你的书出音频版时
[20:02] I’m gonna read it. 我会听的
[20:03] Aww. Thanks, honey. 谢谢了 亲爱的
[20:04] I mean that now. Can’t imagine I will. 我现在是认真的 但无法想象我能做到
[20:12] Anna-Kat, are you sure this is the place? 安娜凯特 你确定在这里吗
[20:15] Honestly, I don’t remember. 说实话我不记得了
[20:17] You put me on the spot, and I pointed. 你带我来这里 我随便一指
[20:19] Why don’t you just buy a new belt? 你为什么不买条新皮带
[20:21] I’m not buying a new belt when there’s a perfectly good belt 我才不买呢 明明有一条非常好的皮带
[20:24] buried somewhere in this backyard. 埋在这个后院
[20:29] Oh, my — Greg! 我的天 格雷格
[20:34] See, Oliver? Another classic Otto story. 瞧 奥利弗 又一起经典的奥图糗事
[20:39] That’s it. I’m not having kids. 决定了 我不会要孩子
[20:41] This madness ends with me. 悲剧在我这代结束
美式主妇

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