时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | What’s going on in your lives today? | 你们今天过得怎么样 |
[00:04] | Tell me everything. | 把一切都告诉我 |
[00:05] | And don’t skip the juicy parts. | 别漏掉劲爆的部分 |
[00:06] | There better not be juicy parts. | 最好别有劲爆的部分 |
[00:08] | – I’m friends with a fawn. – A what? | -我和小鹿交了朋友 -什么 |
[00:10] | My baby deer — | 我的小鹿 |
[00:12] | I told you about her this morning, remember? | 我今早告诉你了 记得吗 |
[00:14] | You kept saying, “Uh-huh, honey. Uh-huh, honey.” | 你一直说 啊哈宝贝 啊哈宝贝 |
[00:16] | Uh-huh, honey. | 啊哈宝贝 |
[00:18] | Oliver, Taylor, what is going on in your lives? | 奥利弗 泰勒 你们有什么事 |
[00:20] | – Zero. – Nada. | -零 -没 |
[00:21] | All right, dummies, put your phones down and keep them down. | 笨蛋 把手机放下不准拿出来 |
[00:25] | You know I can do a choke hold from the driver’s seat. | 你们知道我能在司机位锁喉吧 |
[00:31] | Hi, guys! | 孩子们 |
[00:33] | What is going on in your lives? | 你们过得怎么样 |
[00:34] | – Same old. – Nothing. | -一样 -没事 |
[00:35] | It can’t be “Same old” if you’ve never told me anything to begin with. | 你们什么都不说 我怎么知道和什么一样 |
[00:38] | They used to tell me about everything, | 他们以前什么都告诉我 |
[00:40] | but just when they started growing hair in weird places, | 自从在奇怪的地方开始长毛后 |
[00:42] | they clammed up. | 就什么都不说了 |
[00:43] | Somebody tell me something about anything! | 随便谁跟我说说什么都行 |
[00:46] | – Deer are good swimmers. – Oh, I didn’t mean you, baby. | -鹿很会游泳 -我不是说你 宝贝 |
[00:48] | You tell Mama everything — | 你什么都告诉妈妈 |
[00:50] | even wiping details nobody needs to know about. | 包括没人想知道的擦粑粑细节 |
[01:02] | I need to know what’s going on in their lives, | 我需要知道他们过得怎么样 |
[01:05] | otherwise I’ll wake up one day, | 否则有天我醒来 |
[01:06] | and my kid is the crystal meth king of Westport. | 会发现我孩子是西港的毒品之王 |
[01:08] | Oh, like Susie Penta’s kid. | 就像苏西·潘塔的孩子一样 |
[01:11] | What? Susan Penta’s kid was selling crystal meth? | 什么 苏西·潘塔的孩子卖毒品吗 |
[01:13] | That actually happens here? I was just saying stuff. | 这里真有这种事吗 我只是随便说说 |
[01:16] | Oh, I’d love it if my kid became a meth dealer — | 我倒很乐意我的孩子变成毒贩 |
[01:18] | do anything besides play “Minecraft.” | 除了玩”我的世界”游戏外什么都行 |
[01:21] | Get off the couch, go outside, and sell meth. | 从沙发上起来 出去卖毒品 |
[01:23] | It’s a beautiful day. | 今天天气这么好 |
[01:24] | Look, if you want to know what your kids are up to, | 如果你想知道你孩子在做什么 |
[01:26] | start running their texts through your phone. | 就通过手机看他们的短信 |
[01:29] | – You both read your kids’ texts? – Absolutely. | -你俩都看孩子的短信吗 -当然 |
[01:32] | Reading them right now, and my kids are having | 现在就在看 我孩子在参加 |
[01:33] | a cribbage tournament and want to know | 克里比奇牌比赛 想知道 |
[01:35] | who’s bringing the Mountain Dew. | 谁带汽水 |
[01:36] | Nerds. | 呆子 |
[01:37] | Yeah, I’m raising nerds. | 对 我养的是呆子 |
[01:39] | Put that app on my phone. Make it so, sensei. | 给我手机装上这软件 装上 老师 |
[01:42] | That wasn’t an Asian thing. That was a “Teach me” thing. | 这不是亚洲专属 这是说要教我 |
[01:44] | If I would have bowed like this, | 如果我这样鞠躬 |
[01:46] | it would have been an Asian thing. | 这就是亚洲专属 |
[01:48] | I just made it an Asian thing. | 我刚把这个弄成亚洲专属了 |
[01:54] | So, kids, how was your day? | 孩子们 今天怎么样 |
[01:57] | I named my deer Bambi, then thought, “I can do better.” | 我给我的小鹿取名叫斑比 然后想可以取得更好 |
[02:01] | Excellent share. | 非常棒的分享 |
[02:02] | Moving on. Oliver? | 继续 奥利弗 |
[02:04] | Not an answer. | 这不是答案 |
[02:05] | Now I’m gonna get specific. Let’s talk Alice McCarthy. | 我说具体点 我们聊聊爱丽丝·麦卡锡 |
[02:08] | – What? – Yeah. | -什么 -对 |
[02:09] | What’s the latest on you and her? | 你和她的最新情况是什么 |
[02:10] | There’s no latest. There’s no nothing. | 根本最新 什么也没有 |
[02:12] | Should we invite her over for dinner sometime? | 要改天请她来吃晚饭吗 |
[02:14] | Are you crazy?! | 你疯了吗 |
[02:16] | I’m trying to help you out. | 我是想帮你 |
[02:17] | You’re the kind of guy who needs to hang around a lot, | 你是那种需要长期相处的男生 |
[02:19] | wear girls down, and then when they’re at their weakest, pounce. | 让女生放下防备 趁她们最软弱时 出击 |
[02:23] | It works. | 管用 |
[02:24] | “Ooh, Alice, let me hold your hand | 爱丽丝 让我用我恶心多汗的手 |
[02:27] | with my gross, sweaty hand.” | 牵你的手 |
[02:29] | It’s not my fault. | 这不是我的错 |
[02:31] | I inherited Dad’s hyperactive glands. | 我遗传了爸活跃的汗腺 |
[02:33] | We run hot and wet. | 我们又热又多汗 |
[02:34] | You know what really could seal the deal with you and Alice? | 知道什么可以敲定你和爱丽丝的事吗 |
[02:37] | Ice-cream date, back seat of the minivan — | 冰淇淋约会 我的面包车后排 |
[02:40] | I’m up front setting you up for jokes to make you look good. | 我在前面讲笑话衬托你的优点 |
[02:43] | I’m having a physical reaction to this scenario. | 我对这场景有身体上的反应 |
[02:46] | You’re gonna give me hives. | 你会让我起麻疹的 |
[02:47] | Hives are on your mom. I’m about sweat and eczema. | 这怪你妈 我只遗传给你多汗和湿疹 |
[02:50] | So, Taylor… | 那么 泰勒 |
[02:52] | Why did Sophie tell Natalie that you’re acting like Madison? | 为什么苏菲告诉纳塔利你表现的和麦迪逊一样 |
[02:56] | – How do you know that? – You told me. | -你怎么知道的 -你告诉我的 |
[02:58] | No, I didn’t. I don’t tell you anything. | 我没有 我什么都没告诉你 |
[03:00] | Oh, my God. I knew this would happen. | 我的天 我就知道有天会这样 |
[03:03] | She’s getting our texts on her phone. | 她在她的手机上看我们的短信 |
[03:05] | Your mother would never violate your privacy like that. | 你们妈妈永远不会这样侵犯你们的隐私 |
[03:07] | Oh, but I would. | 但我会的 |
[03:09] | Of course she would. | 她当然会的 |
[03:11] | I can’t be an involved parent if they don’t involve me. | 如果他们不让我插手 我就不能做个插手的母亲 |
[03:12] | I am your mother. | 我是你们的妈 |
[03:14] | I’m gonna be all up in your stuff | 我要把你们的所有事搞清楚 |
[03:15] | so I can share my wisdom and keep you both on the straight and narrow. | 我可以分享我的智慧 让你们老实做人 |
[03:18] | That’s not fair! | 这不公平 |
[03:19] | What’s not fair is that your brains aren’t fully formed until you’re 21, | 不公平的是在你们21岁前 大脑还没完全长好 |
[03:22] | and you’re my responsibility until then. | 在那之前 你们是我的责任 |
[03:24] | Nobody told me that when I got into this. | 我摊上这个麻烦前没人告诉我 |
[03:31] | Hey, Dad. | 爸 |
[03:34] | I can trust you with a secret, right? | 我告诉你一个秘密 你不会说出去吧 |
[03:35] | I mean, you being the cool parent and all. | 毕业你是个酷爹 |
[03:37] | Yeah. I didn’t realize — Yeah. | 我没想到是这样 没错 |
[03:41] | Okay, well, I’ve been taking cotillion classes. | 我一直在上沙龙舞的课 |
[03:43] | So you’re learning good manners and etiquette covertly. | 你在秘密学习良好的礼貌和礼节 |
[03:45] | It’s a weird secret. | 这是个奇怪的秘密 |
[03:46] | I’m using it strictly for networking purposes. | 我的目的只是为了社交 |
[03:49] | Your oldest friends are the ones that lie to the S.E.C. for you. | 结交时间最长的朋友 会为你向证券交易委员会撒谎 |
[03:52] | My friends and I used to ride bikes, skip stones. | 我和朋友们以前总是骑单车 跳石头 |
[03:54] | One time, we threw a watermelon off a roof — | 有次 我们从屋顶上扔了下西瓜 |
[03:56] | made a big mess. | 闯了大祸 |
[03:57] | Cute. So here’s the deal — | 可爱 是这样的 |
[04:00] | There’s a formal dance that’s part of it, | 正式舞会是课的一部分 |
[04:02] | and I’m going to need a tux. | 我需要礼服 |
[04:03] | That’s really more of your mom’s department. | 这是你妈妈负责的 |
[04:05] | Well, it’s going to have to be yours. | 必须得由你负责 |
[04:07] | – I’d rather not involve Mom. – Why? | -我不想让妈管这事 -为什么 |
[04:08] | If dinner wasn’t enough, | 如果晚餐还不够 |
[04:09] | need I remind you about the café incident? | 需要我提醒你餐馆事件吗 |
[04:11] | Oliver, there’s Alice McCarthy. | 奥利弗 那是爱丽丝·麦卡锡 |
[04:13] | She’s so cute! Go say hi. | 她真可爱 过去问好 |
[04:15] | Mom, no. | 妈 不 |
[04:16] | Let’s send her a cake pop to get her attention. | 给她一个蛋糕让她注意你 |
[04:21] | Ooh, she’s looking. | 她在看 |
[04:23] | Oh, my God. Oh, my God. | 老天 老天 |
[04:25] | – Not good. – No. | -不太好 -不好 |
[04:27] | All she needs is to find out parents can come to cotillion. | 她只需要发现家长可以参加沙龙舞会 |
[04:30] | It’s gonna be flying cake pops for everyone. | 那么蛋糕会飞向每个人 |
[04:32] | I just need someone who gets it on a guy level. | 我只是需要有人在男人层面上理解这事 |
[04:35] | – I’m a guy. I get it. – I know. | -我是男人 我懂 -我知道 |
[04:37] | So you won’t tell her about any of this, right? | 所以你不会告诉她这件事 对吗 |
[04:38] | Your mom and I don’t keep secrets from each other — | 你妈和我之间没有秘密 |
[04:40] | not anymore. | 之前有 |
[04:41] | See this scar here? | 看到这个疤痕了吗 |
[04:43] | This was a surprise party for her that went awry. | 这是一次出了岔子的为她举办的惊喜派对 |
[04:46] | Okay. | 好的 |
[04:47] | I just thought this could have been | 我本以为这可以是 |
[04:48] | a defining bonding moment between us, | 我们父子情的决定性时刻 |
[04:51] | one we could look back on and laugh about | 在我大学毕业典礼之后 |
[04:53] | when we’re sharing a beer after my college graduation, | 我们一起喝啤酒时想起这事会大笑 |
[04:56] | you and me, two guys, elbows on the bar. | 你和我 两个男人 手肘放在吧台上 |
[04:59] | I do want that. | 我真想这样 |
[05:02] | – But keeping a secret from your mom… – Come on. | -但瞒着你妈 -拜托 |
[05:05] | Just between us…bros. | 这事就我们知道 兄弟 |
[05:09] | Sounds good, bro. | 听起来不错 兄弟 |
[05:15] | Hey, honey. | 亲爱的 |
[05:17] | She hasn’t sent a single text to her friends all day. | 她一天一条短信也没发给朋友 |
[05:20] | Taylor’s gone dark on me, Greg — | 泰勒把我拉黑了 格雷格 |
[05:21] | “Zero Dark Thirty.” | 社交圈完全屏蔽[与电影《猎杀本·拉登 》同名] |
[05:23] | Is that what that movie was about? | 那部电影是讲这个的吗 |
[05:24] | – I didn’t see it. – It’s no big deal. | -我没看 -没什么的 |
[05:26] | I haven’t texted anybody in weeks. | 我几周没发任何短信 |
[05:27] | Because your thumbs are the size of Nebraska. | 因为你的拇指有内布拉斯加州那么大 |
[05:29] | And you have to put on your reading glasses | 而且每次有人发表情符号 |
[05:31] | every time somebody sends you an emoticon. | 你就得戴上眼镜 |
[05:33] | They’re really tiny, cruelly so. | 真的很小 非常小 |
[05:35] | If I can’t read her texts, | 如果我看不到她的短信 |
[05:37] | then I’ve got to find another way in. | 我得另想办法 |
[05:39] | Katie, you’re stalking | 凯蒂 你跟踪孩子 |
[05:39] | our kids like you’re hunting a wild animal. | 就像猎杀野生动物一样 |
[05:41] | Now, me, I view raising children a little more like fishing. | 而我 我觉得养孩子更像是钓鱼 |
[05:45] | You wait quietly in the boat and let them come to you. | 在船上安静地等着 等鱼上钩 |
[05:47] | What kind of nonsense parenting podcasts | 你在听什么胡说的 |
[05:49] | – have you been listening to? – Hey, my technique gets results. | -育儿播客 -我的技巧有结果 |
[05:52] | In fact, “Hanging back” is how I got Oliver | 事实上 袖手旁观让奥利弗 |
[05:54] | to beg to spend the day with me after school. | 求着在放学后和我一起出去 |
[05:56] | Oliver begged to hang out with you? | 奥利弗求着和你一起 |
[05:58] | Hell yeah. | 是的 |
[05:59] | Why? | 为什么 |
[06:00] | I guess he wants some father-son time, you know, | 我想他想过下父子时光 |
[06:02] | to really let my experience juices soak in. | 吸收下我的经验智慧 |
[06:05] | And what are the two of you going to do? | 你们两个要做什么 |
[06:07] | – Hang. – Where? | -一起玩 -哪里 |
[06:09] | – Around. – Specifically? | -附近 -具体点 |
[06:10] | Batting cages. | 棒球击球场 |
[06:13] | Do I have something in my teeth? | 我牙齿上有东西吗 |
[06:15] | Nope. Sweaty lip. | 没 流汗的嘴唇 |
[06:19] | It’s your tell. | 出卖了你 |
[06:20] | You’re hiding something. | 你有事瞒着我 |
[06:22] | Spill it. | 说 |
[06:23] | I promised Oliver I wouldn’t. | 我向奥利弗保证不会说 |
[06:25] | It’s just between us bros. | 这是我们兄弟间的事 |
[06:27] | Fine. | 行 |
[06:28] | Don’t be hurt. Are you really hurt? | 别受伤 你真的受伤了吗 |
[06:30] | What do you want from me? | 你想我怎样 |
[06:31] | You’re putting bros before hos. | 你把兄弟看的比女人重 |
[06:33] | – It’s not that big of a deal. – But I need to mother, Greg. | -没什么的 -我需要做母亲 格雷格 |
[06:36] | Without being a mother, I am just a woman | 不做母亲 我就是一个 |
[06:37] | who put on 40 pounds for no reason. | 无缘无故肥了40磅的女人 |
[06:40] | Fine. | 好吧 |
[06:42] | He’s been taking these cotillion classes, | 他在上沙龙舞的课 |
[06:44] | and there’s a formal dance. | 有个正式舞会 |
[06:44] | And he needs a tux, and he wants me to help him and not tell you. | 他需要礼服 要我帮他 而且不告诉你 |
[06:47] | Why? | 为什么 |
[06:49] | Is he afraid that I’m too involved in his life, | 他害怕我太过插手他的生活 |
[06:52] | that I’m going to embarrass him? | 我会让他出丑吗 |
[06:54] | Your words. And his. | 这是你说的 也是他说的 |
[06:56] | Well, too bad! | 太遗憾了 |
[06:57] | I am going to go up there, and I am going to tell him — | 我要上去 我要告诉他 |
[06:59] | No, no, no. You’re not gonna say anything. | 不 你什么也不能说 |
[07:01] | If he finds out that I betrayed his trust, | 如果他发现我背叛了他的信任 |
[07:03] | he’ll never come to either of us with a problem again. | 他有问题时就不会再来找我们了 |
[07:05] | We don’t want him going to the lonely baseball coach. | 我们可不想他去找孤单的棒球教练 |
[07:08] | Fine! He’s yours. | 好吧 他归你了 |
[07:11] | I’m gonna go handle the girls. At least they smell good. | 我去管姑娘们 至少她们很香 |
[07:13] | Yeah, puberty’s hitting Oliver hard. | 没错 奥利弗的青春期来得太猛了 |
[07:15] | – Gross. – Yeah. | -恶心 -对 |
[07:21] | So Oliver doesn’t want me in his life. | 奥利弗不要我插手他的生活 |
[07:23] | Does it hurt? Sure. | 伤心吗 当然 |
[07:25] | But that’s why I spent nine months creating a backup. | 所以我花了九个月 造了个备胎 |
[07:27] | What’s going on in that head, lovey? | 你脑袋里在想什么 宝贝 |
[07:29] | Let Mama in. | 让妈妈进去 |
[07:30] | I’m just waiting for my deer. | 我在等我的小鹿 |
[07:32] | Come sit with me. | 坐我旁边 |
[07:34] | Thank you. It’s good to be wanted. | 谢谢 被需要的感觉真好 |
[07:40] | Mama, did you know, in Connecticut, | 妈妈 你知道吗 在康州 |
[07:42] | there are over 100,000 whitetail deer | 有超过10万只的白尾鹿 |
[07:45] | and that a mother deer will leave a young fawn | 鹿妈妈生下小鹿的当天 |
[07:47] | – in the days after it’s born? – I thought I could do it. | -就会离开 -我以为我可以做到 |
[07:49] | Can’t do it. | 做不到 |
[07:50] | And yet, it manages to survive and eat on its — | 小鹿要自己想办法活下去 找东西吃 |
[07:52] | Okay, Taylor, you’re up. | 好了 泰勒 到你了 |
[07:57] | So, how’s it going? | 那么 怎么样 |
[07:59] | Fine, Mom, but I could use a little privacy. | 很好 妈 我需要隐私 |
[08:01] | No problem. | 没问题 |
[08:06] | We can have a little privacy together. | 我们可以一起拥有隐私 |
[08:09] | I really don’t feel like talking. | 我不想谈什么 |
[08:11] | I know you don’t, but I’m gonna need you to, | 我知道你不想 但我要你讲 |
[08:13] | or I’m gonna start texting as you. | 否则我就以你的名义发短信 |
[08:16] | And it’s gonna be all about your rash. | 说的全是关于你的皮疹 |
[08:19] | It’s on your butt. | 你屁股上的 |
[08:20] | Why is this happening? | 为什么会这样 |
[08:22] | Because you cut me out of your texts. | 因为你不让我看你的短信 |
[08:23] | – I’m not cutting you out. – Your phone says otherwise. | -我没有 -你的手机不这么说 |
[08:27] | No one’s texting me, okay? | 没人发短信给我 好吗 |
[08:30] | How come? | 为什么 |
[08:31] | ‘Cause out of the blue, | 因为突然一下子 |
[08:32] | Sophie decided not to talk to me, | 苏菲决定不和我说话了 |
[08:33] | so, of course, now all of the other girls are | 当然了 其他女生 |
[08:35] | going along with it, too. | 现在也照做 |
[08:36] | God! Teenage girls suck. | 老天 青春期少女最差劲了 |
[08:38] | We’re the worst. | 我们最差劲 |
[08:40] | How about next time I see Sophie’s Mom — | 下次我看到苏菲的妈妈 |
[08:42] | Do not do that. | 不要那样做 |
[08:43] | You’ll ruin my life more than it already is. | 你会把我的生活毁得比现在更彻底 |
[08:45] | You don’t even know what I was going to say. | 你甚至不知道我要说什么 |
[08:46] | Watch. | 看着 |
[08:47] | “Hey, Sophie’s Mom”… | 苏菲的妈妈 |
[08:50] | I really don’t have anything beyond that. | 下面真不知道说什么好 |
[08:52] | I kind of think best on my feet, but you get the tone. | 我得当面才知道说什么 但你懂我的语气 |
[08:54] | Mom, please, no. | 妈 求你别这样 |
[08:55] | I don’t want you to fix anything. | 我不想你解决任何问题 |
[08:57] | Then why did you tell me if you didn’t want me to fix it? | 如果你不要我解决 那你为什么告诉我 |
[09:00] | – Because you forced me to. – How about I say — | -你逼我说的 -不如我说 |
[09:01] | Nope. | 不 |
[09:03] | Well, then, you know what? | 知道吗 |
[09:04] | I’m gonna go bond hard with Anna-Kat. | 我去和安娜凯特建立更深厚的感情 |
[09:09] | Hi, Mama. | 你好 妈妈 |
[09:11] | I’m leaving raisins for my deer. | 我在给我的小鹿放葡萄干 |
[09:12] | You know, deer’s favorite food is grapes. | 鹿最爱吃的就是葡萄 |
[09:15] | Still can’t do it. | 还是做不到 |
[09:18] | – Hey, Dad. – Wait for it — big finish. | -爸 -等等 精彩结尾 |
[09:21] | Pretty rad. | 超酷嘛 |
[09:22] | Listen — We can skip the tux shop. | 听着 我们就不去礼服店了 |
[09:25] | I’ve been thinking about it | 我想过了 |
[09:26] | and realized the dance is gonna be totally lame. | 发现舞会太差劲了 |
[09:28] | But I thought it was part of the cotillion class. | 但这不是沙龙舞课的内容吗 |
[09:30] | It’s not like we’re graded on it. | 不打分的 |
[09:31] | It’s voluntary. | 这是自愿的 |
[09:32] | Yeah, but you seemed so excited about it. | 但你之前很激动的 |
[09:34] | Well, I thought it would be cool if you and I hung out instead. | 我觉得我们一起玩挺好的 |
[09:37] | You, me? On a Friday night? | 你和我 周五晚上 |
[09:39] | Just two dudes. | 两个男人 |
[09:41] | Well, what are we dudes doing tomorrow night? | 我们两个男人明晚做什么 |
[09:43] | The question is, Dad, | 爸 问题应该是 |
[09:45] | “What aren’t we going to do tomorrow night?” | 明晚我们不会做什么 |
[09:47] | That is wildly non-specific. I’m in for all of it. | 完全不具体 我全参加 |
[09:56] | Hey, boys. | 小伙子们 |
[09:58] | Better not have ruined your appetite | 你们下午闲逛时 |
[09:59] | during your hangout this afternoon. | 最好没毁了晚上的胃口 |
[10:01] | Seems like this energy might be more of a “You” problem. | 似乎这股怨气是冲着你来的 |
[10:10] | I don’t know what you’re making for dinner, | 我不知道你晚餐做什么 |
[10:11] | but it’s gonna be flat. | 但肯定是平的 |
[10:13] | Did you enjoy your tux shopping? | 买礼服开心吗 |
[10:15] | Actually, we didn’t go tux shopping. | 我们没买 |
[10:16] | – Why? – He’s blowing off the dance. | -为什么 -他不参加舞会了 |
[10:17] | – Why? – Says it’s gonna be lame. | -为什么 -说挺差劲 |
[10:19] | – Why? – I don’t know. | -为什么 -我不知道 |
[10:20] | He thought it would be more fun to hang out with me. | 他觉得和我一起玩更开心 |
[10:21] | Well, that’s a lie. | 这是说谎 |
[10:22] | – Jealous. – Think about it, Greg. | -嫉妒 -想想看 格雷格 |
[10:24] | Two days ago, it was a big enough deal that he couldn’t tell his mother. | 两天前 这事重要到不能告诉他妈 |
[10:27] | What changed? | 发生了什么变化 |
[10:28] | I didn’t ask. | 我没问 |
[10:30] | You didn’t ask. | 你没问 |
[10:31] | What’s so wrong about a 12-year-old boy wanting | 12岁的男生想在周五晚 |
[10:33] | to do a little air-drumming with his pops on a Friday night? | 和老爸一起疯下有什么不对 |
[10:36] | Honey, listen to yourself. | 亲爱的 听听你自己说的话 |
[10:40] | – He called me “Bro.” – Oh, Greg. | -他叫我兄弟 -格雷格 |
[10:42] | I got played, didn’t I? | 我被骗了 是吗 |
[10:44] | Yeah. | 对 |
[10:45] | We need the truth about why he doesn’t want to go to the dance, | 我们需要知道他不想参加舞会的真相 |
[10:47] | and you know how we’re gonna find it? | 知道我们要怎么知道吗 |
[10:49] | Not by having the fish come to us. | 不是等鱼上钩 |
[10:51] | No, we’re gonna toss a stick of dynamite in the water | 不 我们把炸药扔进水里 |
[10:53] | and let the answers float to the surface. | 让答案漂到水面来 |
[10:56] | Come on. | 来 |
[11:02] | Why aren’t you going to your top-secret fancy dance? | 你为什么不去参加头等机密的高级舞会 |
[11:05] | You ratted me out. Not cool, man. | 你出卖了我 这可不好 伙计 |
[11:09] | Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, stay with me. | 干嘛呢 和我一起 |
[11:11] | – Why are you guys in here? – You lied to me. | -你们来做什么 -你骗了我 |
[11:13] | I didn’t lie. | 我没说谎 |
[11:14] | I might have withheld a few facts. | 我只是保留了一些事实 |
[11:15] | A lie of omission is the worst kind of lie. | 隐瞒的谎言是世界上最糟糕的谎言 |
[11:18] | Actually, I think the worst kind of lie is | 我想最糟糕的谎言 |
[11:20] | an outright lie that lands an innocent man in prison. | 是让一个无辜的人坐牢的彻底的谎言 |
[11:22] | – What are you doing? – I… | -你做什么 -我… |
[11:24] | You asked your father to lie to me for you, | 你求你父亲为你向我撒谎 |
[11:27] | and you’re taking “How to behave like a rich jerk” classes behind my back. | 你背着我上”如果表现得像有钱的混蛋”课 |
[11:30] | – They’re etiquette lessons. – Oh, I’m sorry. | -这是礼仪课 -抱歉 |
[11:32] | Should I be yelling at you with my pinky up? | 我要翘着兰花指骂你吗 |
[11:34] | Give me answers. | 回答我 |
[11:35] | Why aren’t you going to that dance? | 你为什么不参加舞会 |
[11:37] | Like I told Dad, it’s gonna be lame. | 我跟爸说了 太差劲了 |
[11:39] | Mm, is that the story you’re sticking to? | 你坚持这一说法吗 |
[11:50] | Sorry, buddy. | 抱歉 伙计 |
[11:51] | You have it, too — the “Otto tell.” | 你也有 “奥图式泄密” |
[11:54] | When we betray others, our bodies betray us. | 我们出卖其他人时 身体会出卖我们 |
[11:57] | Spill it. | 说 |
[11:58] | Now. | 马上 |
[12:02] | Okay, I don’t want to go anymore | 我不想参加 |
[12:04] | ’cause I got partnered with someone | 是因为我的舞伴 |
[12:05] | – I don’t want to dance with. -Who? | -不是我想要的 -谁 |
[12:07] | Some girl. | 某个女生 |
[12:08] | I want a name. | 告诉我名字 |
[12:10] | Kimmie Wu. | 金米·吴 |
[12:12] | – Kimmie Wu “Size Twenty-Two”? – Yes. | -22码金米·吴 -对 |
[12:14] | You got stuck with a fat girl | 你搭档一个胖女孩 |
[12:15] | and not one of Westport’s skinny future trophy wives, | 她不是未来的西港苗条娇妻 |
[12:17] | so you’re backing out? | 你就退却了吗 |
[12:19] | Wow, Oliver. Really? | 奥利弗 真的吗 |
[12:21] | You know, as the son of a larger lady, | 作为胖女士的儿子 |
[12:23] | I would think that you would be sensitive | 我以为做22码金米·吴的舞伴 |
[12:25] | being partnered with Kimmie Wu “Size Twenty- Two.” | 你会更加照顾她的情绪 |
[12:27] | You’d think, as a larger lady, | 原以为一个胖女士 |
[12:28] | you’d stop calling her Kimmie Wu “Size Twenty-Two.” | 不会叫她22码金米·吴 |
[12:31] | Are those manners classes teaching you to talk back | 这些礼仪课有教你在非常愚蠢的时刻 |
[12:33] | to your Mom at a really stupid moment? | 这样顶撞你的母亲吗 |
[12:35] | Oliver, you are going to that cotillion dance, | 奥利弗 你要参加沙龙舞会 |
[12:37] | and your mother and I are going, too. | 你母亲和我也会去 |
[12:38] | And we’re going to make sure that you dance with that girl | 我们要确保你和那个女孩跳舞 |
[12:40] | because your father and I are raising high-quality, | 因为你爸和我养育的是高素质 |
[12:43] | non-sucky human beings. | 不让人讨厌的人类 |
[12:46] | Human beings. | 人类 |
[12:47] | I got your back. | 我支持你 |
[12:54] | Two corsages — One for Oliver’s big, beautiful date, | 两朵腕花 一个给奥利弗漂亮的胖舞伴 |
[12:58] | – and one for yours. – Oh, I shouldn’t have. | -一个给你的舞伴 -我真客气 |
[13:02] | Have fun tonight. | 今晚玩得开心 |
[13:03] | Don’t worry, honey. Everything will work itself out. | 别担心 亲爱的 所有问题都自然会解决的 |
[13:05] | Your Dad’s right. | 你爸说得对 |
[13:06] | I know nobody texted you today, but they will. | 我知道今天没人给你发短信 但他们会发的 |
[13:08] | You’re still reading my texts? | 你还在看我的短信吗 |
[13:09] | Oh, I’m so sorry if I gave you the impression | 抱歉让你觉得 |
[13:11] | that I was going to respect your privacy. | 我会开始尊重你的隐私 |
[13:13] | That was wrong of me. | 我错了 |
[13:16] | Look at you — so handsome. | 看你 真帅 |
[13:18] | We may not be raising them right, | 也许养的不行 |
[13:19] | but we certainly make beautiful babies. | 但我们生的孩子真漂亮 |
[13:22] | Can we just get this over with? | 快点完事吧 |
[13:23] | Do all your pouting in the car because when we get there | 尽管在车上不满意 我们到了后 |
[13:26] | you are going to smile, you are going to have fun, | 你要笑 要开心 |
[13:28] | and you’re going to dance like nobody’s watching… | 要像没人看着你一样跳舞 |
[13:30] | or exactly how they instructed you to. | 或是按指示做 |
[13:33] | Call if you need anything. | 有需要就打电话 |
[13:34] | Sophie’s mom is a part of that whole cotillion crowd, | 苏菲的妈妈是沙龙舞班的家长 |
[13:38] | so if you see her please do not say anything. | 如果你看到她 请别说任何话 |
[13:40] | All my attention’s off you and on your brother. | 我只关注你弟 不管你了 |
[13:43] | He pissed me off just a little bit more than you today. | 比起你 他今天更让我生气 |
[13:45] | Thanks, Oliver. | 多谢了 奥利弗 |
[14:01] | I get it now. | 我明白了 |
[14:04] | This is where they train to become them. | 在这里 他们被训练成为他们 |
[14:11] | There’s your girl. | 你的舞伴 |
[14:17] | Here’s your corsage. | 你的腕花 |
[14:19] | Now, where’s that smile? | 笑容呢 |
[14:22] | Maybe no smile. | 还是别笑了 |
[14:24] | A little advice — Big girls don’t like it | 给点建议 胖女生不喜欢 |
[14:26] | when you rest your hands on their midsection. | 你把手放在她们的中间部位 |
[14:29] | Limit contact to just shoulders and other bony joints. | 接触只限于肩膀和其他多骨的关节 |
[14:44] | Oliver, honey? | 奥利弗 亲爱的 |
[14:46] | Dad, I need to use the bathroom. | 爸 我要去洗手间 |
[14:50] | Alice McCarthy’s here with another boy. | 爱丽丝·麦卡锡和其他男生来的 |
[14:52] | Ohh, poor Oliver. | 可怜的奥利弗 |
[14:55] | He probably hoped that they’d get partnered together. | 他可能希望他俩能做舞伴 |
[14:57] | And now he has to watch her dance with that hot guy. | 现在他得看着她和别的帅哥跳舞 |
[15:00] | He’s 14 years old, Katie. | 他才14岁 凯蒂 |
[15:02] | Well, don’t make it weird, Greg. | 别搞得这么怪怪的 格雷格 |
[15:04] | – Should we go talk to him? – What? | -要和他谈谈吗 -什么 |
[15:06] | No. | 不 |
[15:07] | I don’t even know what I would say to him. | 我甚至不知道要和他说什么 |
[15:10] | I meant our son. | 我是说我们的儿子 |
[15:12] | No. | 不 |
[15:13] | I think you should. | 我想你应该去谈谈 |
[15:14] | I’d really love to dig my paws into this one, | 我也想把爪子伸进去 |
[15:16] | but I think it calls for a gentler touch. | 但我想这事需要温和处理 |
[15:18] | – I’m on it. – Okay. | -我这就去 -好的 |
[15:40] | Is everything all right in here? | 一切还好吗 |
[15:43] | So, I saw Alice. | 我看到爱丽丝了 |
[15:46] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
[15:47] | Is that why the dance was gonna be so lame? | 因为这点所以舞会很差劲吗 |
[15:49] | Whatever. I don’t care. | 随便 我不关心 |
[15:51] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[15:57] | I feel like an idiot. | 我觉得自己像白痴 |
[15:59] | All last week, Alice’s friends kept coming up to me like, | 整整过去一周 爱丽丝的朋友不断来跟我说 |
[16:01] | “Alice is gonna ask you to be her partner at cotillion.” | 爱丽丝会邀请你做她沙龙舞会的舞伴 |
[16:04] | Then, stupid Kurt Brockwell comes back from having mono, | 然后蠢蛋库尔特·布洛克威尔得接吻病康复回来 |
[16:06] | and she asks him. | 她邀请了他 |
[16:08] | And I get thrown in the leftover pool with Kimmie Wu. | 我就被扔到没人要的一堆和金米·吴搭档 |
[16:11] | – Can we just go home now? – No. | -我们现在回家好吗 -不 |
[16:13] | Look, this cotillion class was about learning grace and manners, right? | 沙龙舞课是学习优雅和礼仪的对吗 |
[16:16] | Yeah. | 对 |
[16:17] | You go out there, and you show some. | 你出去表现出来 |
[16:19] | I promise you when you look back at this moment, | 我向你保证 当你回望今天 |
[16:20] | you’re not gonna wish you’d hidden in the bathroom longer | 你不会希望自己藏在厕所更久 |
[16:22] | or gone home early. | 或是早点回家 |
[16:24] | You’ll remember you acted like a man | 你会记得你表现得像男子汉 |
[16:26] | and you did the right thing. | 你做了正确的事 |
[16:28] | And when we go for a beer at your graduation, | 你毕业典礼后我们一起去喝啤酒 |
[16:31] | we’ll talk about this defining moment. | 我们会聊这一决定性时刻 |
[16:35] | I’m sorry I lied to you. | 对不起我骗了你 |
[16:38] | Now let’s get out there before Kurt Brockwell is your stepdad. | 在库尔特·布洛克威尔做你继父前快出去 |
[16:53] | Look at our boy. Look at what we did. | 看我们的儿子 看我们的成果 |
[17:01] | Eat your heart out, Alice McCarthy. | 伤心死了吧 爱丽丝·麦卡锡 |
[17:03] | No way her bony ass can break it down like Kimmie Wu do. | 她瘦骨嶙峋的屁股不可能像金米·吴那样扭动 |
[17:06] | It’s impossible not to rhyme. | 忍不住写了句诗 |
[17:11] | There’s Sophie’s Mom. | 那是苏菲的妈妈 |
[17:14] | You got to fix things for one kid tonight. | 今晚你为一个孩子解决了问题 |
[17:16] | I’m gonna go fix things for the other. | 我要解决另一个的 |
[17:17] | Didn’t Taylor explicitly say not to? | 泰勒不是明确说了不要吗 |
[17:19] | Greg, we can’t listen to our children. | 格雷格 你不能听孩子们的话 |
[17:21] | They’re children. | 他们是孩子 |
[17:27] | Hi, Sophie’s mom. | 你好 苏菲的妈妈 |
[17:29] | I’m Taylor’s mom. | 我是泰勒的妈妈 |
[17:31] | Seems like our girls aren’t getting along very well these days. | 似乎这些天 我们的女儿关系不太好 |
[17:34] | – Girls this age, right? – Mm-hmm, yeah. | -这么大的女生就是这样 -对 |
[17:36] | But in this case, it’s more your girl. | 但这件事 错的是你的女儿 |
[17:39] | You have a problem with my girl? | 你对我的女儿有意见吗 |
[17:41] | I have a problem with the problem your girl has with my girl. | 我对你女儿对我女儿有意见有意见 |
[17:44] | Well, maybe you should mind your own business | 也许你不应该管闲事 |
[17:46] | and let them work it out for themselves. | 让她们自己解决问题 |
[17:47] | And now I have a problem with you. | 现在我对你有意见 |
[17:49] | You’re about to be a part of something called making a scene. | 你马上要成为”大打出手”的一部分 |
[18:00] | – Hey, how was the dance? – Humiliating, then fun, | -舞会怎么样 -丢人 开心 |
[18:03] | then, thanks to Mom, humiliating again. | 多亏了妈 又是丢人 |
[18:06] | Things definitely took a weird turn. | 事情反转的很奇怪 |
[18:07] | Mom slapped a drink out of Sophie’s mom’s hand. | 妈妈把苏菲妈妈手中的酒杯打掉了 |
[18:10] | Your mom pushed the boundaries of proper etiquette. | 你妈扩大了适当礼仪的范围 |
[18:12] | I’m sorry, honey. It did not go well. | 抱歉 亲爱的 结果不好 |
[18:14] | It turns out after, “Hi, Sophie’s mom,” | 原来在说完”你好 苏菲的妈妈”后 |
[18:16] | I didn’t have much of a plan. | 我真没计划好说什么 |
[18:18] | Oh, I know. | 我知道 |
[18:20] | Sophie and I have been going back and forth about it all night. | 苏菲和我整晚都在说这事 |
[18:21] | There’s video. You guys might go viral. | 有视频 你们可能会成为网络红人 |
[18:24] | You and Sophie are talking again? | 你和苏菲又说话了吗 |
[18:26] | We totally bonded over our mothers being lunatics. | 妈妈都是疯子 让我们关系铁了起来 |
[18:28] | – Why aren’t I getting those texts? – We were talking on the phone. | -我为什么没看到短信 -我们打电话的 |
[18:31] | Can you record those conversations | 你可以录下对话 |
[18:33] | and send them to me? | 发给我吗 |
[18:34] | I’m just kidding. I’ll record them. | 我开玩笑的 我来录 |
[18:40] | Oliver just got a text from Alice. | 奥利弗刚收到爱丽丝的短信 |
[18:46] | “Top hat, smiley face, sweaty hands”? | 礼帽 笑脸 流汗的手 |
[18:50] | – That’s “Clapping.” – Cruelly tiny. | -那是鼓掌 -太小了 |
[18:52] | What does it mean? | 这是什么意思 |
[18:53] | It means she thought he looked good in his tux | 她觉得他穿礼服很帅 |
[18:55] | and that he’s a nice guy, | 他是个好人 |
[18:57] | and the clapping is applause for his dancing. | 为他的舞姿鼓掌 |
[18:59] | It means that he has a shot | 这么说他有机会 |
[19:01] | against the most handsome man in the world. | 战胜全世界最帅的男人 |
[19:03] | Child, Katie — He’s a child. | 孩子 凯蒂 他是个孩子 |
[19:05] | You’re making it weird again. | 又被你搞得怪怪的 |
[19:09] | So if one of the kids comes to one of us with a secret, | 如果我们的孩子对我们之一说出了秘密 |
[19:12] | we won’t keep it from each other. | 我们不会瞒着对方 |
[19:13] | No, we’ll betray our children | 不 我们会出卖孩子 |
[19:15] | but hide our deception from them. | 但不会告诉他们 |
[19:16] | We’re in uncharted territory — the teenage years. | 我们在未知的领域 “青少年时期” |
[19:19] | We need to monitor their texts and read their e-mails. | 我们得监控短信和电邮 |
[19:22] | And rifle through their drawers. Don’t forget about the rifling. | 搜查抽屉 别忘了搜查 |
[19:24] | Drawers, bags, pockets. | 抽屉 包 口袋 |
[19:26] | I’ll go to school and bust a locker. | 我要去学校撬储物柜 |
[19:28] | Our kids don’t think they need us, but they do. | 我们的孩子觉得不需要我们 其实需要 |
[19:29] | That’s why we’ve got to know what’s going on in their lives at all times. | 所以我们要随时知道他们发生的事 |
[19:33] | Nothing happens under this roof without us knowing. | 这个家里发生的事我们都要知道 |
[20:09] | I should pay more attention to that kid. | 我要更注意那孩子才行 |