时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:05] | Tomorrow, I’m going to the groomer. | 我明天要去做个帅气的发型 |
[00:06] | A little trim, a little blowout. | 修修毛 再烫个发 |
[00:09] | Gonna be a full day of beauty. | 要美一整天 |
[00:10] | Not that you can improve on perfection. | 没有最完美 只有更完美 |
[00:12] | Tsk, tsk. | 啧啧 |
[00:14] | I just hope I don’t miss any fun. | 不过要是错过什么精彩镜头就可惜了 |
[00:16] | The kids do some crazy things around here. | 最近孩子们可真是玩疯了 |
[00:21] | Well, that was weird. | 哦 这还真奇怪 |
[00:57] | Finally, a movie we can all watch. | 终于有一部我们能一起看的电影了 |
[01:00] | A high octane action adventure… | 热血动作冒险 |
[01:03] | Romantic comedy… | 爱情喜剧 |
[01:04] | With rainbow ponies. | 还有彩虹小马驹 |
[01:07] | Bless you. | 祝你平安 |
[01:10] | What? | 什么 |
[01:11] | It came from over here. | 声音是从那边传过来的 |
[01:19] | – Karl?! – You’re spying on us? | -卡尔 -你在偷窥我们 |
[01:21] | What? No. | 什么 才没有呢 |
[01:24] | Okay, maybe a little. | 好吧 算是吧 |
[01:26] | I’m gonna send this photo to your mother. | 我要把这张照片发给你妈 |
[01:29] | No, don’t. Mother hates when I spy. | 别别别 我妈最讨厌我偷窥别人了 |
[01:32] | She also hates when I chillax, | 她还讨厌我休息 |
[01:33] | and the fact that I was chillaxing while spying would infuriate her. | 你要是告诉她我偷窥你们的时候还抽空休息她会发飙的 |
[01:38] | If you tell her, I’ll tell everyone your big secret. | 如果你向她告密 我就要把你们的惊天秘密公之于众 |
[01:45] | Big secret? There’s no big secret. | 惊天秘密 没什么惊天秘密啊 |
[01:47] | That’s crazy. | 这也太扯了吧 |
[01:49] | That should be made obvious | 看我现在荒谬的大笑 |
[01:51] | by the absurdly large amount of laughing I’m doing right now. | 你就应该知道这有多荒谬了 |
[01:56] | Okay, I admit, there’s a secret. | 好吧 我承认 我们的确有个秘密 |
[01:59] | I play the air banjo. | 我会空弹班卓琴 |
[02:05] | That’s not a secret. | 那可不是个秘密 |
[02:06] | You invited me to your country air jamboree. | 你还邀请我去你的空弹班卓琴乡村音乐会了呢 |
[02:10] | Oh, yeah. Thanks for coming. | 对哦 谢谢光临啦 |
[02:12] | Thanks for having me. | 多谢邀请 |
[02:14] | The secret I’m referring to is, I know your dog Stan can talk. | 我说的秘密是 我知道你们家那只叫斯坦的狗会说话 |
[02:40] | Stan can’t talk. That is ridiculous, Karl. | 斯坦不会说话 卡尔你在做白日梦吗 |
[02:45] | Isn’t that ridiculous, Tyler? | 这也太荒谬了 对吧泰勒 |
[02:46] | Yeah, you might as well say | 是啊 你还不如说 |
[02:48] | that we have a bear who cooks grilled cheese sandwiches. | 我们有只会做烤乳酪三明治的熊呢 |
[02:51] | Why did I say that? Now I want a grilled cheese sandwich. | 我刚为什么要这么说啊 现在我想吃烤乳酪三明治了 |
[02:54] | I wish we had a bear. | 我们要是有头熊该多好啊 |
[02:56] | Please, I’m not stupid. | 拜托了 我又不蠢 |
[02:59] | I’m the only person in the world who possesses a Karl Fink-level intellect | 我可是全世界唯一有着在卡尔·芬克智商指数级 |
[03:02] | on the Karl Fink scale of intellects | 中拥有卡尔·芬克等级智商的人 |
[03:04] | one to Karl Fink, Karl Fink being the highest. | 从一级到卡尔·芬克级 卡尔·芬克为最高等级 |
[03:07] | If my last name were Fink, I don’t think I’d say it as often as you do. | 即使我姓芬克 我也绝对不会像你这样把这个词说那么多遍 |
[03:11] | I’ve sensed for a while that something was amiss regarding Stan, | 我觉得斯坦可疑已经很久了 |
[03:15] | so I launched operation “Karl finds out Stan’s secret”. | 所以我正式启动了名为“卡尔揭露斯坦秘密”的任务 |
[03:19] | It’s not a clever title, but it really draws you in | 这题目乍看简单 实际上却 |
[03:21] | by telling you exactly what it’s about. | 开门见山 引人入胜 |
[03:24] | And I’ve seen some amazing things. | 而我也看到了许多不可思议的场景 |
[04:02] | Seriously, no one notices that a dog is deejaying?! | 说真的 就没人发现那只狗在玩混音吗 |
[04:09] | Still proves nothing. | 这说明不了什么 |
[04:10] | Plenty of dogs who can’t talk deejay, | 有一堆不能说话的狗能玩混音 |
[04:12] | go on spy missions, dance in clogs, | 参与间谍任务 穿着木底鞋跳舞 |
[04:14] | punch grown men in the face, lint brush sofas and drive cars. | 扇成年男子巴掌 清理沙发 还有开车啊 |
[04:17] | – They do? – Of course. Yes. | -有吗 -当然有啦 |
[04:20] | Not counting cartoons? | 如果不算漫画里的狗呢 |
[04:22] | No, probably not as many. | 那可能没有那么多 |
[04:26] | Hi, hon, don’t mean to interrupt. | 嗨 亲爱的 打搅你真是不好意思 |
[04:29] | So you’re still writing your book on blended families, huh? | 你还在写那本有关再婚家庭的书吗 |
[04:32] | Yeah, that is great. Just great. | 啊 那真好 真不错 |
[04:36] | Really, really great. | 真是太好了 |
[04:40] | What is it? | 到底怎么啦 |
[04:41] | I’m just trying to figure out how to tell my husband I’m concerned | 我只是在想怎么样委婉地告诉我丈夫 |
[04:44] | he’s going to tell stories in his book that make our family look foolish, | 我担心他要在书里讲我们的一些糗事 |
[04:47] | but how do I do that? | 但是我要怎么说呢 |
[04:49] | How do I do that? | 我要怎么说呢 |
[04:53] | – When have we ever looked foolish? – Well… | – 我们什么时候干过糗事了 – 呃 |
[05:17] | Mama’s goin’ down! | 妈妈要摔倒了 |
[05:21] | So we have fun. I wouldn’t say we’re over the top. | 我们玩的开心又怎么样 我没觉得我们玩过头了啊 |
[05:24] | Exactly. You wouldn’t, which is why I need to | 正是 你不这么想 这就是为什么我需要 |
[05:27] | have some input on this project. | 为你这个项目做一些贡献 |
[05:29] | Some input? | 做贡献 |
[05:30] | Yes. I can’t just be your beautiful and alluring muse. | 是的 我可不能只做你美丽迷人的灵感女神 |
[05:34] | I need to be involved in the writing. | 我要参与写作 |
[05:37] | Like I’m… Riding shotgun with you. | 就像坐在你的副驾驶座上那样 |
[05:39] | Literary one, Ellen. | 好比喻 艾伦 |
[05:44] | Of course, there’s that time in the park. | 当然 还有在公园的那次 |
[06:17] | The dog just danced the tango, and no one is questioning it?! | 那只狗刚跳了探戈 就没有人觉得诡异吗 |
[06:23] | You still haven’t told us one time Stan was talking. | 你还是没有告诉我们斯坦什么时候说话了 |
[06:25] | Let’s cut to the Chase then, shall we? | 那我们就直奔主题如何 |
[06:27] | – I was there when… – What are you staring at? | -我亲眼目睹了 -你在看什么 |
[06:30] | Would you give me a second? | 能给我点思考时间吗 |
[06:32] | I’m wondering if I should talk. | 我还在纠结我该不该说话呢 |
[06:43] | That was all your imagination. | 那只是你的想象而已 |
[06:45] | I don’t have an imagination. | 我的词典里没有想象这个词 |
[06:47] | That’s so sad. | 好悲剧 |
[06:49] | I don’t know what I would do without my imaginary friend. | 我都不知道没有我想象中的朋友我会怎么样 |
[06:52] | Right, Mrs. Grimmons? | 对吧 格里蒙斯夫人 |
[06:54] | Right you are, Chloe. | 对啊 克洛伊 |
[06:58] | Maybe what you heard was like something on the Internet | 说不定你听到的是像网上那样 |
[07:01] | where a dog howls and it sounds like he’s saying I love you. | 一只狗的叫声听上去像在说我爱你 |
[07:05] | Good idea, Tyler. I mean… | 好主意 泰勒 我是说 |
[07:07] | That could be it. Like this. | 有可能就是这样的 |
[07:09] | I rove you. | 窝爱泥 |
[07:11] | I rove you. | 窝爱泥 |
[07:15] | Well… | 好吧 |
[07:17] | Did he howl when he did this? | 那这件事怎么解释 |
[07:20] | I’m your furry fun technician | 我是你的毛绒小丑 |
[07:22] | Here to fix your disposition | 有我在你就别发愁 |
[07:24] | Pouting can be infantile | 老撅着嘴多不好 |
[07:27] | Time to make that infant smile | 没事儿就该多笑笑 |
[07:33] | Jazz paws! | 爵士爪 |
[07:50] | Put ’em up for this punk, put your paws in the air | 为这伙计欢呼雀跃 为这伙计举起双爪 |
[07:52] | Hey you single poodles, y’all better beware | 你们这些单身狮子狗 都给我看好了 |
[07:54] | Poodles. Uh. | 狮子狗 |
[07:57] | She’s the poodle from Pasadena | 她是来自帕萨迪纳的狮子狗 |
[08:00] | She makes all the dogs go woof | 她让所有的狗汪汪乱叫 |
[08:04] | Makes those cuckoo dogs go woof | 让那些布谷狗汪汪乱叫 |
[08:07] | She makes me go woof yeah | 她让我汪汪乱叫 |
[08:13] | Try the kibble. | 尝尝狗粮吧 |
[08:16] | You have a very show-bizzy dog. | 你们真是有只非常有表现欲的狗呢 |
[08:18] | Fine, Karl. | 好吧 卡尔 |
[08:20] | You know Stan’s secret. | 你知道了斯坦的大秘密 |
[08:22] | But you don’t have any proof. | 但是你没有任何证据 |
[08:24] | Avery Jennings, do you honestly think | 艾芙莉·詹宁斯 你真的觉得 |
[08:27] | that Karl Fink, your superior in every way, | 卡尔·芬克 在任何一方面都比你强的人 |
[08:30] | other than racquetball, because you somehow manage | 除了短拍壁球之外 因为你不知怎么的就能 |
[08:33] | to dart about the court like a jackrabbit, | 像只长耳大野兔一样在球场里蹦来蹦去 |
[08:35] | didn’t make recordings of Stan talking? | 会想不到把斯坦说话的视频拍下来吗 |
[08:39] | Well, if you have recordings, why haven’t you used them against us? | 如果你有视频 为什么还没有用来打击我们 |
[08:42] | Because something this big, you wait for exactly the right moment. | 因为像这样精彩的胜利 得择良辰吉日而行 |
[08:48] | Hopefully Friday, so I can savor it over the weekend. | 最好是周五 这样我就能在双休日好好陶醉陶醉 |
[08:51] | Toots. Yes, I was here for that, too. | 会期 是的 那时候我也在场 |
[08:54] | – Toots. – Is that short for toodle-oo? | -会期 -那是后会有期的缩略吗 |
[08:57] | No, I farted. | 不 我刚放了个屁 |
[08:59] | Though this time, it was short for toodle-oo. | 不过这次 它是后会有期的缩略 |
[09:02] | Consider yourselves lucky. | 你们就庆幸去吧 |
[09:05] | What do we do now? | 现在我们怎么办 |
[09:07] | If we go up to the woods, we might be able to find a bear. | 如果我们去远处的森林 我们也许能找到一头熊 |
[09:10] | I’m sorry. I really want grilled cheese. | 对不起啦 我真的很想吃烤乳酪嘛 |
[09:14] | What are we going to do about him, Mrs. Grimmons? | 我们要拿他怎么办 格里蒙斯夫人 |
[09:16] | Not much we can do… | 我们也做不了什么 |
[09:20] | One little girl and an imaginary chambermaid. | 一个小女孩和一个不存在的女保姆 |
[09:28] | Bennett, are you the type of person | 班尼特 你是喜欢 |
[09:30] | that likes the bandage ripped off slowly or quickly? | 真相揭露得迅速点还是缓慢点呢 |
[09:33] | – Quickly. – Your book stinks. | -迅速点 – 你的书烂透了 |
[09:36] | – Slowly. – Your book stinks. | – 缓慢点 – 你的书烂透了 |
[09:40] | But I have a solution. | 但我有个拯救方法哦 |
[09:42] | I’m going to co-write the book with you. | 我要和你合写这本书 |
[09:44] | I’ve jotted down some great stories about my mothering expertise. | 我可是精简地撰写了我当妈生涯中的一些宝贵经历 |
[09:47] | Remember that time you and Tyler weren’t communicating? | 还记得你和泰勒冷战的那次吗 |
[09:51] | As I remember it… | 我记得是这样的 |
[09:53] | You two need to talk. | 你们必须谈一谈 |
[09:54] | Communication is the legs to the love table around which we as a family eat. | 沟通就像一个家庭中的爱之餐桌的桌脚 |
[09:58] | Brilliant, honey. | 英明啊 宝贝 |
[10:01] | Son, I am awed by your mother’s table metaphor, | 儿子 我被你母亲的天才比喻迷倒了 |
[10:04] | and ashamed that I sometimes fail to heed her wise counsel. | 并且为我没有听从她的智慧建议而感到羞耻 |
[10:07] | Love each other. | 快互相表达爱意 |
[10:11] | Mom’s right, and smart and beautiful, and witty as all get-out, | 妈妈永远是对的 并且冰雪聪明 美若天仙 一针见血 |
[10:15] | with the voice of an angel and the heart of a saint. | 有着天使的嗓音和圣人的心灵 |
[10:18] | How did someone like you land Saint mommy? | 你这样的人怎么能得到女神妈咪的青睐 |
[10:19] | Don’t pinch me, lest I wake from this wonderful dream. | 别掐我 让我在这美好的梦境中沉醉吧 |
[10:24] | So that goes in the book. | 这事儿可一定要写进书里 |
[10:26] | Are you kidding? | 你在逗我吗 |
[10:28] | That is not how it happened. It happened like this. | 那可不是事实 事实是这样的 |
[10:31] | Bennett, I am just a flibberty-gibbet | 班尼特 我只是一个愚蠢的长舌妇 |
[10:33] | who needs her muscly armed smart man to guide our family | 我需要一个有着强健肌肉和聪明头脑的男人来指引我们的家庭 |
[10:36] | in ways that I cannot. | 我可做不到 |
[10:37] | I am muscley-armed. | 我的确有着强健的肌肉 |
[10:41] | And brilliant, son. | 我的智慧也的确过人 儿子 |
[10:42] | Why you spoke to the flibberty-gibbet in the first place defies reason. | 你首先去和愚蠢的长舌妇交谈实在是不可理解 |
[10:47] | His abs are muscly too. | 他还有很强健的腹肌唷 |
[10:49] | Mom’s right. You are the most fit and the most brilliant | 妈妈说得对 你是我所有同龄人的父亲中 |
[10:53] | of all the fathers in my age cohort. | 身材最好也最聪明的 |
[10:55] | We frequently talk about it at school, as do the teachers, | 不瞒您说 我们经常在学校谈论这些 |
[10:57] | in case you were wondering. | 老师们也是 |
[10:59] | Who am I to argue with people who are right? | 我怎能与明白真相的人争吵呢 |
[11:04] | You mis-remembered the whole thing. | 你把整件事都记错了 |
[11:05] | I don’t know whether to laugh or be insulted, | 我都不知道我是该觉得好笑还是觉得过分了 |
[11:08] | so I’ll do both. Ha ha… hey. | 所以我两个反应都给 哈哈 嘿 |
[11:14] | Okay, there aren’t any vents in here, so we can talk without Karl hearing. | 好了 这里没有通风口 所以我们能避开卡尔谈一谈 |
[11:18] | I’m so glad Stan’s at the doggie day spa. | 幸好今天斯坦去做狗狗水疗了 |
[11:20] | All this talk about his secret would really stress him out. | 我们这些关于他秘密的谈话会让他抓狂的 |
[11:23] | Plus, he always comes back with juicy groomer gossip. | 而且 他总是给我们讲一些超有料的动物梳毛师的闲话 |
[11:26] | The Wilsons’ Irish setter… Dye job. | 威尔逊家的爱尔兰长毛猎犬 山寨货 |
[11:30] | Chloe, we all enjoy Stan’s dog dish. | 克洛伊 我们都很享受斯坦的狗八卦[狗食]啦 |
[11:34] | I didn’t mean to do that. | 我无意间玩了个双关语呢 |
[11:37] | But we need to stay focused. | 我们要专注解决问题 |
[11:39] | How are we gonna keep Karl from revealing Stan’s secret? | 我们该怎样阻止卡尔揭露斯坦的秘密呢 |
[11:42] | I know. What if we cover Karl with pigeon feathers? | 我有个好主意 我们把卡尔身上黏满鸽子毛如何 |
[11:45] | Then, when he tries to tell people that Stan can talk, | 然后 当他想告诉别人斯坦能说话的时候 |
[11:47] | no one will believe him. | 就没人会相信他了 |
[11:49] | What? Why? | 啊 为什么 |
[11:50] | Would you believe a pigeon man? | 你会相信一个鸽人嘛 |
[11:53] | I think I would. | 我觉得我就会啊 |
[11:55] | Look, Karl was afraid we’d send those pictures of him to his mom. | 想想 卡尔害怕我们把他偷窥的照片发给他妈 |
[11:59] | What if we tell her he’s been spying on us, | 要不我们告诉她他在偷窥我们 |
[12:02] | and ask her to delete the video recordings on his computer? | 然后求她把他电脑里的视频都删掉 |
[12:05] | – What if she looks at them? – We have to hope that she won’t. | – 如果她点开那些视频看怎么办 – 只能祈祷她不会那么做 |
[12:07] | It’s our only option. | 我们只有这一个选择了 |
[12:09] | Guess we’re better off trusting Karl’s mom | 比起相信卡尔 |
[12:11] | to destroy the recordings than we are trusting Karl. | 我们居然更相信他妈会去删除那些视频 |
[12:13] | Stop! | 停 |
[12:17] | You were listening to us?! | 你在听我们说话 |
[12:19] | I just crawled in at the end. Your house is not secure. | 我刚在结尾的时候爬进来 你们家也太不安全了 |
[12:22] | Do not text my mother about the recordings. | 别告诉我妈那些视频的事 |
[12:25] | Too late, Karl. | 太晚了 卡尔 |
[12:26] | We figured out a way to stop you. | 我们已经找到了阻止你的办法 |
[12:28] | And… send. | 发送 |
[12:30] | Stop me from what? | 阻止我做什么 |
[12:32] | I was never really gonna reveal Stan’s secret. | 我不是真的要揭露斯坦的秘密 |
[12:35] | I’ve seen how much he means to you all. | 我知道他对你们来说意义重大 |
[12:37] | Stan, as bad as it was that I said you were just a dog, | 斯坦 就算我说了你只是一只狗这样糟糕的话 |
[12:39] | it doesn’t mean you should just run away. | 你也不能就这么跑走啊 |
[12:42] | But I thought we weren’t friends anymore. We never fought like that. | 可我以为我们不再是朋友了 我们从来没有这样吵过 |
[12:45] | Of course we’re still friends. | 我们当然还是朋友啦 |
[12:46] | You’re the first real friend I’ve ever had. | 你是我第一个真正意义上的朋友 |
[12:51] | I’ll always be your friend, no matter what. | 不管怎么样 我会一直和你做朋友的 |
[12:54] | I’ll always be your friend, too. | 我也会一直是你的朋友 |
[13:03] | If you know how much Stan means to us, | 如果你知道斯坦对我们的意义 |
[13:05] | and you weren’t gonna reveal the secret, why didn’t you just say that? | 而且又不打算揭露斯坦的秘密 为什么不直接告诉我们呢 |
[13:08] | Because it would destroy our rivalry. | 因为这会让我们的敌对立场一去不复返 |
[13:10] | I cherish being worst friends with you all. | 我珍惜和你们的针锋相对的感情 |
[13:13] | Or worsties, as I like to call it. | 或者应该叫死敌 |
[13:15] | Think of all the good bad times we’ve had. | 想想我们经历过的美好的糟糕时光 |
[13:18] | When I look at you, I don’t think you see | 当我看你时我觉得你并不知道 |
[13:21] | Just how much you mean to me | 你对我来说有多重要 |
[13:26] | When I think of you, I’m not sure you know | 当我想起你是我不确定你是否知道 |
[13:29] | Just how much I like you so | 我有多喜欢你 |
[13:33] | Just how much I like you so | 我有多喜欢你 |
[13:40] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[13:43] | Is that why you kept spying, even after | 这就是你即使已经收集到了足够证据 |
[13:45] | you collected all of your evidence to be close to us? | 还一直偷窥我们的原因吗 为了接近我们 |
[13:48] | That, and I enjoy the snugness of close spaces. | 是原因之一 还有就是我喜欢封闭空间的舒适感 |
[13:51] | It’s like a little hug. | 感觉像一个小小的拥抱 |
[13:53] | The point is, mother will look at the recordings | 重点是 我妈一定会去看 |
[13:55] | on my computer and tell everyone about Stan. | 我电脑上的视频 然后把斯坦的秘密公之于众 |
[13:57] | She loves attention. | 她喜欢万众瞩目的感觉 |
[13:59] | Why else would she be a body-building strong woman? | 这就是她成为一个健美女士的初衷 |
[14:01] | Stopping cannonballs with your stomach hasn’t had a real-life application | 自从安蒂特姆战役之后 用肚子挡炮弹 |
[14:05] | since the battle of Antietam. | 就没有了任何实际意义 |
[14:07] | That’s true. | 这倒是真的 |
[14:08] | I think… I guess. I don’t care. | 我想 我猜 我无所谓啦 |
[14:10] | You have to delete the recordings before your mom sees them. | 你得在你妈看到那些录像前删了它们 |
[14:13] | That may solve your problem, but not mine. | 这也许能解决你的问题 但是解决不了我的问题啊 |
[14:15] | What happens when mother sees those pictures | 想想我妈要是看见那些我在通风口里偷窥 |
[14:17] | of me in the vents spying and chillaxing? | 还抽空放松的照片会发生什么 |
[14:20] | Those recordings of Stan are the only assurance I have | 斯坦的录像可是你们会帮我 |
[14:23] | that you’ll help me get that text message off her phone. | 删除我妈手机信息的唯一保证 |
[14:25] | Fine. We’ll help you delete the message. | 好吧 我们会帮你删除那些信息 |
[14:27] | Excellent. We have a small window of opportunity. | 很好 我们现在正好有一个短暂的时机 |
[14:30] | Mother’s competing at a strong women’s competition in the park. | 我妈现在在公园参加一个女强人比赛 |
[14:32] | She won’t look at her phone until it’s done. | 在比完之前她都不会看手机 |
[14:34] | Wait. Back up a second. | 等等 倒带一秒 |
[14:36] | You have a bear costume? | 你有熊的服装 |
[14:38] | That’s not important. | 这不重要 |
[14:41] | Maybe not to you. | 对你来说不重要而已 |
[14:42] | Who wants grilled cheese? | 谁想要烤乳酪 |
[14:46] | I do, I do! | 我要 我要 |
[14:55] | So I rewrote your whole book. | 我重写了你的整本书 |
[14:59] | I was able to repurpose several chapters of my journal | 我还修改了我日志的几个章节 |
[15:02] | and fill it out with pictures from our trip to Ojai. | 换成了我们上次去奥海的一些照片 |
[15:05] | Remember those tomatoes? | 记得那些番茄吗 |
[15:07] | I ate them like they were apples. | 它们简直像苹果一样好吃 |
[15:09] | Ellen, you can’t just write my book. | 艾伦 你不能这样写我的书啊 |
[15:12] | Don’t worry, I’ll let you keep your name on it. | 别担心 我会挂着你的名字的 |
[15:14] | I don’t want a legal battle. | 我才不想和你对簿公堂呢 |
[15:16] | Besides, I’m not writing it, | 再说了 我不是在写这本书 |
[15:18] | I’m fixing it, like I fix everything around here. | 我是在解决这本书的问题 就像我解决家里的问题一样 |
[15:21] | Like that time… | 像那次 |
[15:23] | Chloe, I’d love to jump in, but daddy’s afraid. | 克洛伊 我很愿意跳进来玩 但爸爸有点害怕呢 |
[15:25] | Honey, could you push me? | 宝贝 你能推我一把吗 |
[15:27] | I’m all ready. | 我准备好了 |
[15:28] | Bubbles! | 泡沫哦 |
[15:33] | I see you’re enjoying my delicious sandwich. | 慢慢享受我美味的三明治吧 |
[15:35] | You’re an amazing cook. | 你真是个超棒的厨师 |
[15:38] | That’s what I’m saying. | 我也这么觉得 |
[15:41] | Oh, I love it. | 哦 太美味了 |
[15:43] | I know. Mmm, yummy. | 我知道 嗯 好吃 |
[15:45] | Mommy, you’re a fantastic cook. | 妈咪 你真是个绝世好厨师 |
[15:48] | Mmm. Scrumptious. | 嗯 人间美味 |
[15:53] | Okay, I’m gonna ask you a few questions. | 好吧 我要问你几个问题 |
[15:55] | What is your name, what year is it, who’s the president? | 你叫什么名字 今年是哪一年 总统是谁 |
[15:58] | Just trying to determine what kind of damage I’m dealing with. | 就是想看看你精神损伤有多严重 |
[16:02] | Very funny, Bennett. But that’s how things are around here. | 真幽默 班尼特 但是我说的就是事实 |
[16:05] | No, I am the one who makes things work in this family. | 不 我才是这个家庭的救星呢 |
[16:08] | Remain calm, son. | 冷静点 儿子 |
[16:10] | I will get us out of this predicament with my typical aplomb and ingenuity. | 我一贯的沉着态度和足智多谋会让我们脱离困境的 |
[16:21] | Wow, dad, you were right. | 哇 爸爸 你是对的 |
[16:24] | You are my hero. | 你是我心中的英雄 |
[16:27] | And you couldn’t have chosen a finer hero. | 我绝对是英雄的最佳人选 |
[16:30] | Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go and not throw up. | 现在不好意思 我要离开然后不吐出来 |
[16:35] | Let’s see if I can make myself trip over this fence. Whee! | 看看我能不能成功跨栏 飞呀 |
[16:42] | Yes. Good job, Bennett. | 干得好 班尼特 |
[16:44] | You’ve twisted all these things to make yourself seem great. | 你为了让自己看上去优秀而扭曲了事实 |
[16:47] | If I’m not great, why did you give me that father’s day card that said I was? | 如果我不优秀 那你干嘛给我一张说我优秀的父亲节贺卡呢 |
[16:51] | Because they don’t make one that says, | 因为没有哪张父亲节贺卡上写着 |
[16:52] | “your wife holds this whole thing together | 你妻子才是家庭救星 |
[16:54] | “and you’re lucky to have her, buck-o. | 你能娶到她真是八辈子积德了 小伙子 |
[16:56] | Love, Ellen.” | 爱你的 艾伦 |
[17:00] | Mother’s phone is probably in her bag in the warm-up tent. | 妈妈的手机大概在她放在热身帐篷里的包里 |
[17:03] | Oh, good, she’s onstage right now, | 哦 很好 她现在在台上 |
[17:05] | so we can slip in and get it before she finds out. | 我们可以在她发现之前偷偷溜进去拿到她的手机 |
[17:08] | Whoa, your mom’s lifting a car. | 哇塞 你妈在举一辆车诶 |
[17:11] | Is that part of the competition? | 那是也比赛的挑战项目吗 |
[17:13] | No, she probably carried it onstage because someone | 不 她这么做可能只是因为 |
[17:15] | parked in her space again. | 又有人在她的车位停车了 |
[17:17] | Oh, let the people out first next time, mother. | 老妈 下次先把车里的人放出来呀 |
[17:22] | Looks like that big woman’s guarding the entrance to the tent. | 看上去那个女巨人在看守帐篷的入口 |
[17:24] | How are we gonna get in? | 我们该怎么进去 |
[17:26] | If only I had a couple more hundred pounds of muscle, | 如果我再有几百磅肌肉 |
[17:29] | I could convince them I was a contestant. | 我还能骗她说我是来参加比赛的呢 |
[17:31] | I’m already pretty cut. | 我身材已经很健美了 |
[17:33] | Tricep. | 肱三头肌 |
[17:35] | I will pretend to be Tatia, the trainer. | 我要装成教练塔蒂亚 |
[17:38] | Squat, thrust, squat, thrust. | 蹲 推 蹲 推 |
[17:40] | Squat, thrust. | 蹲 推 |
[17:42] | There’s no time for that. There’s four of us. | 没时间了 我们有四个人 |
[17:45] | She won’t be able to stop us if we all rush at once. Three, two, one. | 一起冲的话她一个人拦不下来的 三 二 一 |
[17:50] | Were you waiting for me to say “go”? | 你们在等我说“走”吗 |
[17:53] | – Come on! – Oh, now they go. | – 快来 – 现在他们开始行动了 |
[18:00] | I got it! | 我拿到了 |
[18:13] | Honey. | 亲爱的 |
[18:15] | I’ve been thinking, and I’m sorry for taking over your book. | 我好好地反省了 抱歉我总想着接管你的书 |
[18:19] | I know it’s what you do. | 我知道这是你的专长 |
[18:21] | And I’m sorry for saying you were acting like such a meddlesome busybody, | 我也很抱歉说你狗拿耗子 多管闲事 |
[18:24] | sticking your nose in my business. | 在我的地盘上指手画脚 |
[18:26] | You never said that. | 你从来没说过这些啊 |
[18:27] | Not while you were there. | 没在你在场的时候说啦 |
[18:29] | Because they don’t make one that says, | 因为没有哪张父亲节贺卡上写着 |
[18:31] | “your wife holds this whole thing together, | 你妻子才是家庭救星 |
[18:33] | and you’re lucky to have her, buck-o. Love, Ellen.” | 你能娶到她真是八辈子积德了 小伙子 爱你的 艾伦 |
[18:37] | Man, she is acting like such a meddlesome busybody | 她真是狗拿耗子 多管闲事 |
[18:40] | sticking her nose in my business. | 在我的地盘上指手画脚 |
[18:44] | Still, I feel badly for what I said about your book. | 我还是为我说过的那些损你的书的话感到抱歉 |
[18:47] | And I’m sorry about discounting your contribution. | 我也为不重视你的贡献感到抱歉 |
[18:51] | The important thing is that we always end up completely in sync. | 重要的是我们最后总是能达成一致 |
[18:55] | I am so glad she is not gonna get involved with this book. | 真开心她不会再搅合这本书的事了 |
[18:59] | I’m so excited I’m gonna be writing this book with him. | 真激动我要和他一起写整本书 |
[19:05] | Ah, Robert and I had the most relaxing time at the doggie day spa. | 啊 罗伯特和我在狗狗水疗院度过了史上最悠闲的一天 |
[19:10] | Yep, nothing in the world can possibly stress me out right now. | 是啊 现在世上没有任何事能带给我任何压力 |
[19:14] | Karl knows you can talk. | 卡尔知道了你能说话的事 |
[19:15] | What?! | 什么 |
[19:18] | Hello, Stan. | 你好啊 斯坦 |
[19:19] | Everyone back up. Robert needs some air. | 所有人退开 罗伯特需要些新鲜空气 |
[19:24] | It’s okay, Stan. | 没事啦 斯坦 |
[19:26] | We got the phone and we deleted the text before anything bad happened. | 我们拿到了手机 在糟糕的事情发生前删了那条短信 |
[19:29] | What? | 什么 |
[19:30] | Chloe, he doesn’t know any of that, | 克洛伊 他还不知道那些细节呢 |
[19:32] | and we probably shouldn’t say anything | 而且鉴于罗伯特的身体状况 |
[19:33] | given Robert’s condition. | 我们最好还是不要再多说了 |
[19:36] | Tyler, you do know that Robert’s not… | 泰勒 你知道罗伯特不是 |
[19:39] | Never mind. | 算了 |
[19:41] | So is my secret safe with you? | 所以你会保守我的秘密咯 |
[19:44] | For a price. | 是有条件的 |
[19:46] | I must know where you get your costumes. | 我一定要知道你那些炫酷服装都是哪里来的 |
[20:06] | That’s one secret you’ll never know. | 那是一个你到死都不会知道的秘密 |
[20:08] | Toots. | 放一个 |
[20:11] | Oh, Stan! | 噢 斯坦 |
[20:15] | Chloe, get us out of here. | 克洛伊 快把我带出去吧 |
[20:18] | Good call, Mrs. Grimmons. | 好主意 格里蒙斯夫人 |
[20:24] | Well, the kids and my relationship with Karl | 现在卡尔知道了我们的秘密 |
[20:27] | will never be the same now that he knows. | 卡尔和我们的关系会有翻天覆地的变化了 |
[20:29] | We’ll all have to be very careful how we deal with him. | 我们以后和他相处的时候都得非常小心了 |
[20:32] | Of course, there are some things none of them know, | 当然啦 有些事他们没人知道 |
[20:35] | ’cause they’re only in my mind, and on my blog. | 因为只有天知地知 我知 我的博客知 |
[20:38] | Hi, I’m Stan, star of Freaky Fido. | 你好 我是斯坦 《我与来福》的主演 |
[20:41] | I’m here to talk to you about a cause that’s dear to my heart… | 我即将要讲的是埋藏在我内心最深处的秘密 |
[20:45] | free-range bacon-wrapped cats. | 野生培根裹猫 |
[20:49] | Stan. | 斯坦 |
[20:51] | Stan. | 斯坦 |
[20:53] | Stan. | 斯坦 |
[20:55] | Wait, what am I selling here? | 等等 我在卖什么来着 |
[20:57] | Oh, right. Kibble. | 哦对了 粗磨狗粮 |
[20:59] | I mean, Kibble. | 不不 粗磨狗粮 |
[21:29] | There’s the sugar! | 这段才是精华 |