| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Yes! The couch is finally clean. | 太好了 终于把沙发弄干净了 |
| [00:10] | Family, I have a surprise. | 同志们 我有一个惊喜 |
| [00:15] | So, what looks different? | 看看什么变了 |
| [00:17] | Let’s see. | 我看看 |
| [00:19] | Your makeup is running and your hair’s all wet. | 你的头发都湿了而且妆都被水冲掉了 |
| [00:21] | Wait, is that a new look? It is beautiful. | 哦 是新造型吗 你看上去美极了 |
| [00:23] | Why would you think this is a new look? | 你为什么会觉得这是个新造型呢 |
| [00:26] | Because I laughed out loud when you wore that blue lipstick | 因为上次你涂蓝色口红的时候我笑疯了 |
| [00:29] | and I am not making that mistake again. | 吃一堑长一智 我再也不踩这个地雷了 |
| [00:32] | No, this is from the steam, and that’s a hint. | 不是 这是因为蒸汽啦 给你们提示了哦 |
| [00:35] | You walked through a car wash on a dare? | 你从洗车机里走过去了 |
| [00:38] | I’ve done that. | 这我干过 |
| [00:40] | You were steaming up the bathroom | 你呆在满是蒸汽的浴室里 |
| [00:41] | to get your fingers prune-y so you can have grandma hands. | 这样你的手指就会变成皱巴巴的像老奶奶一样 |
| [00:45] | I’ve done that. | 这我干过 |
| [00:48] | You were steaming vegetables for a healthy snack. I’ve done that. | 你用蒸汽做健康蔬菜小零食 这我干过 |
| [00:52] | Sorry, I don’t do stupid things with steam. | 对不起 我才不用蒸汽干蠢事呢 |
| [00:56] | No. The couch is clean. | 都不是 我把沙发弄干净了 |
| [00:59] | The couch. | 沙发 |
| [01:00] | 5’6″, 120 pounds, throws right, bats left. | 长五呎六吋 重120磅 投球手在右 接球手在左 |
| [01:04] | I’m just kidding. It’s a couch. | 开玩笑了啦 只是个沙发 |
| [01:06] | Come on, look how clean it is. | 看 是不是超干净 |
| [01:09] | We finally have our couch back. | 我们的干净沙发终于回来啦 |
| [01:10] | And to keep it sparkling clean, | 为了让它保持一尘不染 |
| [01:12] | we’re going to enforce a family rule | 我们要定一条家规 |
| [01:14] | we’ve been a bit lax about. | 之前我们对此太疏忽了 |
| [01:16] | No dogs on the couch. | 狗不准上沙发 |
| [01:18] | No, not the couch. That’s my spot. | 不要啊 为什么是沙发 那可是我的地盘 |
| [01:21] | This will not stand. | 这不能忍 |
| [01:23] | Ah, this newly cleaned couch is like | 啊 刚弄干净的沙发简直就像 |
| [01:25] | a big, steamy love dumpling. | 一个巨大的热气腾腾的饺子 美死我了 |
| [01:29] | Avery, get Stan off the couch. | 艾弗莉 把斯坦从沙发上弄下来 |
| [01:31] | What? No, no. This is an outrage. | 什么 太过分了 |
| [01:34] | I know my rights. Is somebody recording this? | 这是对我权益的侵犯 有人作证吗 |
| [01:37] | I can’t believe they’re gonna try to keep me off the couch. | 不敢相信他们居然想把我从沙发上赶下来 |
| [01:40] | What have I ever done on that couch that justifies this? | 我在沙发上做了什么居然得到了这种待遇 |
| [01:43] | Okay, sweetheart, start jumping, and I’ll meet you in the middle. | 好的 宝贝儿 我们一起吃到中间汇合 |
| [02:07] | Stan, you’re not allowed on the couch. | 斯坦 你不许上沙发 |
| [02:10] | This is where you can be. | 你可以坐在这里 |
| [02:12] | Get in your new dog bed. | 快到你的新床上去 |
| [02:14] | Let’s see. A smaller, lumpier, | 呵呵 比我现在坐的沙发 |
| [02:15] | cheaper version of what I’m sitting on now. | 更小 更丑 还更廉价 |
| [02:18] | Yeah, that’ll woo me. | 你以为用这个就可以打发我了吗 |
| [02:19] | Kids, get in here. | 孩子们 快过来 |
| [02:22] | Your dog is on the couch. | 你们的狗在沙发上 |
| [02:24] | I’ve tried, and I’ve had it. | 我试过了 而且我受够了 |
| [02:26] | Either get Stan to stay off the furniture, | 斯坦要是再上沙发 |
| [02:28] | or I’m hiring a professional dog trainer. | 我就要请专业驯狗师来了 |
| [02:30] | And this time, I’m gonna follow through. | 而且这次 不像上次我请的那个芬兰教练 |
| [02:32] | Not like that Finnish trainer I hired for myself. | 我要全程观察 |
| [02:35] | That woman kept yelling at me, and those weights were heavy. | 那个芬兰女人让我拿超重的哑铃 还不停地对我大喊大叫 |
| [02:38] | Stan, why are you being so stubborn? | 斯坦 你为什么要这么固执呢 |
| [02:41] | Why can’t you just lie somewhere else? | 你为什么就不随便找个别的地方趴着呢 |
| [02:42] | ‘Cause the couch muffles my farts. | 因为坐在沙发上我放屁你们就听不见了 |
| [02:45] | Isn’t that why we all sit on the couch? | 这难道不是我们坐沙发的根本原因吗 |
| [02:46] | – Yes. – No. | -是的 -才不是 |
| [02:48] | – Yes? – No. | -是吗 -不是 |
| [02:49] | You’re doing it right now, aren’t you? | 你现在就在放屁 是不是 |
| [02:51] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [02:55] | Look, Stan, dog training won’t be fun for you. | 斯坦 听着 驯狗对你来说可一点也不好玩 |
| [02:58] | If they think I’m trainable, they have another think coming. | 如果你爸妈觉得我可以驯服的话 那他们就大错特错了 |
| [03:01] | Professional trainers aren’t pushovers like mom and dad. | 专业训练员可不像我爸妈一样容易说服 |
| [03:04] | They do this for a living. | 他们以驯狗谋生 |
| [03:06] | And I sit on couches for a living. | 我还以坐在沙发上谋生呢 |
| [03:08] | The pay’s not great, but the hours are fantastic, | 虽然报酬不高 但是工作时间不长 |
| [03:11] | and I don’t have to wear pants. | 而且还不用穿裤子 |
| [03:16] | Hi, you must be the dog trainer. Come on in. | 你一定就是驯狗师了 请进 |
| [03:19] | Welcome to our house. | 欢迎到我们家 |
| [03:20] | When I’m here, this is my house. | 当我在这里的时候 这就是我家 |
| [03:22] | Now someone get me one of my sodas out of my fridge. | 现在来个人从我的冰箱里给我拿瓶我的汽水 |
| [03:26] | I’m sorry, we only keep healthy beverages in… | 不好意思 我们家冰箱里只有健康饮品 |
| [03:28] | Your fridge. | 你的冰箱 |
| [03:30] | Healthy beverages? | 健康饮品 |
| [03:32] | Strike one. | 一次警告 |
| [03:35] | Is that your dog? | 那是你的狗吗 |
| [03:38] | Yes. I mean, no, it’s your dog. | 是的 我的意思是 是你的狗 |
| [03:40] | I mean… what’s the answer? | 我的意思是 我该怎么说 |
| [03:42] | His name is Stan. | 他的名字叫斯坦 |
| [03:44] | You gave your dog a person name? | 你给你的狗起人名 |
| [03:46] | Strike two! | 两次警告 |
| [03:49] | I assume he knows the basic commands. | 他应该知道一些基本命令吧 |
| [03:52] | Stan, sit. | 斯坦 坐下 |
| [04:00] | I know why I’m laughing. | 我知道我为什么在笑 |
| [04:02] | Because your incompetence amuses me. | 我在笑因为你们的无能实在让我觉得可笑 |
| [04:04] | But why are you laughing? | 但是你们有什么可笑的 |
| [04:06] | We’ve stopped. | 我们已经停下来了 |
| [04:10] | Daddy, I thought you said the monster under my bed wasn’t real. | 爸爸 你不是说我床底下的怪兽是瞎编的么 |
| [04:13] | I didn’t know. | 我以前不知道 |
| [04:15] | Why are we letting her train Stan? | 我们为什么要让她训练斯坦 |
| [04:17] | Because she’s the best in the business. | 因为她是最厉害的驯狗师啊 |
| [04:20] | She may be mean, but she’s not here to be our friend. | 她可能是有点讨厌 但她来也不是为了和我们做朋友的 |
| [04:22] | She’s here to train Stan. | 她来是为了训练斯坦的 |
| [04:24] | Why is everyone looking at me? | 为什么所有人都在看我 |
| [04:26] | Because you’re talking in front of me as if I can’t hear you. | 因为你就站在我面前 却像我不存在一样讲我坏话 |
| [04:30] | I wasn’t saying friendship was off limits. | 我没说交朋友是不可能的事 |
| [04:33] | Who knows what could happen? | 谁知道呢 |
| [04:36] | Sherry, as a psychologist, | 雪莉 作为一个心理学家 |
| [04:37] | I was wondering if you use any of the traditional | 我想问问你会用传统的 |
| [04:40] | behavior modification tools. | 行为规范工具吗 |
| [04:41] | You mean like a spray bottle? | 你的意思是说喷雾器之类的东西 |
| [04:43] | Yeah, something you might find a little less… | 是的 就是能让你觉得 |
| [04:47] | Don’t interrupt. | 别插嘴 |
| [04:49] | I know. He does that. | 是啊 他总是这样 |
| [04:51] | I tell him, Bennett, don’t interrupt… | 我经常跟他说 班尼特 别插嘴 |
| [04:54] | Don’t interrupt. | 别插嘴 |
| [04:57] | I have worked with over 1,000 dogs in my career, | 我的职业生涯中训练了上千只狗 |
| [05:00] | and do you know how many I’ve failed to train? | 你知道我失败了几次吗 |
| [05:02] | Zero. | 零次 |
| [05:04] | I was gonna say zero, because I read that on your website, | 其实我本来想说零的 因为我在网站上看到过了 |
| [05:07] | but I didn’t wanna interrupt, because you said don’t interrupt. | 但我不想插嘴 因为你说过别插嘴 |
| [05:09] | Please don’t spray me. Please. | 别喷我 求你了 |
| [05:12] | I see you people are gonna be an impediment to his training, | 你们肯定会妨碍训练的 |
| [05:15] | so how do I say this nicely? | 委婉点说吧 |
| [05:18] | Strike three, get outta here, losers! | 三次警告 衰人们 给我出去 |
| [05:21] | How would you say that not nicely? | 不委婉点你会怎么说呢 |
| [05:24] | Get out! | 滚出去 |
| [05:29] | I did ask. | 我居然傻到问这个问题 |
| [05:32] | Now, let’s get you off that sofa. | 现在 让我把你从沙发上弄下来 |
| [05:35] | Stan, off. | 斯坦 下来 |
| [05:39] | Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be. | 好吧 既然你敬酒不吃吃罚酒 |
| [05:42] | Guess I’ll just pull you off that couch. | 我就要用暴力手段把你拉下来了 |
| [05:47] | What she doesn’t know is I | 她不知道的是 |
| [05:48] | have spent years mastering the ancient discipline | 我有多年看功夫电影 |
| [05:51] | of watching kung fu movies on TV. | 自学成才的经历 |
| [05:55] | Did you just… | 你刚才是不是 |
| [05:57] | No. Let’s try this again. | 这不是真的 让我再试一次 |
| [06:02] | You wanna tussle? | 想单挑 |
| [06:31] | Your kung fu is impressive, | 你的功夫不错 |
| [06:33] | but it’s no match for my shih tzu jiu jitsu. | 但是和我的天狗流星拳比起来就是小巫见大巫了 |
| [06:48] | I have been trying to get your attention for an hour. | 过去一个小时我都在试图引起你的注意力 |
| [06:51] | Huh. I’ve been fantasizing about kung fu for an hour? | 啊 我花了一个小时幻想功夫来着 |
| [06:54] | That’s less time than usual. | 这时间比以前短多了 |
| [06:57] | You just sit there, staring off into space. | 你只是坐在那里凝视虚空 |
| [07:02] | At the risk of getting demon-yelled at, how’s it goin’ in here? | 冒着被河东狮吼的危险来问一句 训练进行得怎么样了 |
| [07:07] | He’s still on our… your couch. | 他怎么还在我们的 你的沙发上 |
| [07:11] | No, I think it’s his couch. | 不 这是他的沙发了 |
| [07:14] | I tried every technique I know, and your dog is untrainable. | 我作了一切努力 你们的狗无法驯服 |
| [07:19] | I failed. I’ve never failed before. | 我失败了 我以前从没有失败过 |
| [07:22] | I’m gonna have to update my website, | 我得更改我的网站 |
| [07:24] | and my letterhead and my pajamas. | 还有我的信笺抬头和睡衣 |
| [07:27] | That’s right, it says zero | 对 我每件睡衣上 |
| [07:29] | failures on my pajamas, on every single pair. | 都写着零失败 |
| [07:37] | I don’t know what to say. | 我不知道该说什么好了 |
| [07:39] | We gave it our best shot to keep him off the couch, | 我们尽了最大努力让他从沙发上下来 |
| [07:42] | but a professional dog | 但是竟连一个专业 |
| [07:43] | trainer just told us that Stan is untrainable. | 驯狗师都说斯坦无法驯服 |
| [07:45] | So from now on, Stan is gonna be… | 所以从现在开始 斯坦 |
| [07:48] | – Allowed on the couch. – An outside dog. | -可以在沙发上呆着 -不允许进入室内 |
| [07:51] | Wait. That is markedly different from what I just said. | 等等 这和我刚说的也太不一样了吧 |
| [07:59] | This is so sad. | 这真是太伤感了 |
| [08:01] | I can’t even look at him. | 我都不敢看他 |
| [08:06] | Mom, you can’t do this. | 妈 你不能这么做 |
| [08:08] | Stan is an inside dog. | 斯坦应该在室内呆着 |
| [08:10] | He is untrainable. | 他无法驯服 |
| [08:11] | So’s Tyler, but no one puts him outside. | 泰勒也一样 但是没人不让他进来啊啊 |
| [08:14] | Actually, yesterday at school, | 事实上 昨天在学校的时候 |
| [08:16] | – Mrs. Crowley… – You’re not helping. | -克劳伊老师她 -你在帮倒忙 |
| [08:19] | Honey, are you sure you’re doing the right… | 亲爱的 你真的觉得这样做合适吗 |
| [08:21] | Yes, we are. | 我觉得合适 |
| [08:22] | We’re a united front. | 我们要统一战线 |
| [08:24] | When did we decide… | 我们什么时候决定 |
| [08:25] | when two people get married, | 当两个人结婚时 |
| [08:26] | there’s an implicit agreement | 默认规则就是 |
| [08:28] | that you’ll support each other in anything. | 无条件支持另一方的决定 |
| [08:30] | The first person who speaks gets to make the rules. | 第一个说话的人制定规则 |
| [08:31] | Why do you think I married such a slow-talking man? | 你以为我为什么要和一个说话这么慢的男人结婚 |
| [08:33] | Fine. We’re a united front. | 好吧 我们是统一阵线 |
| [08:38] | Stan, are you okay? | 斯坦 你还好吗 |
| [08:39] | Being out here does things to your soul. | 被迫呆在外面会让你的灵魂 |
| [08:42] | Dark and horrible things. | 感到黑暗可怖 |
| [08:44] | You’ve only been out here two minutes. | 你才在外面待了两分钟 |
| [08:46] | You lose track of time up river. | 淡淡的忧伤 迷失了时光 |
| [08:50] | Stan, why are you acting so crazy? | 斯坦 你为什么要这么做呢 |
| [08:52] | Why can’t you just stay off | 你为什么你不能不上沙发 |
| [08:53] | the couch so mom will let you come back inside? | 这样妈妈就可以让你进去了 |
| [08:56] | Avery, I’m not supposed to talk in front of other people. | 艾芙莉 我不能在别人面前讲话 |
| [08:58] | I can’t eat at the table. | 我不能在餐桌上吃饭 |
| [09:00] | I can’t enter any TV singing competitions, | 我不能参加电视歌唱比赛 |
| [09:03] | and there are so many of them. | 还有不计其数的我不能做的事 |
| [09:06] | I feel like a second-class citizen. | 我就像二等公民一样 |
| [09:09] | When I was on that couch, I wasn’t a dog. | 但是当我坐在沙发上的时候 我觉得我不是一条狗 |
| [09:11] | I was one of you. | 而是你们的同类 |
| [09:13] | Please, just… don’t take that away from me. | 请不要让我失去那种权利 |
| [09:19] | Stan, I didn’t realize how much it meant to you. | 斯坦 我以前不知道这对你的重要性 |
| [09:22] | Of course you’re one of us. | 你当然是我们的一员啦 |
| [09:24] | How can I be? | 我怎么可能是你们的一员呢 |
| [09:25] | I’m not even allowed in the house. | 我连屋子都进不去 |
| [09:27] | And someone keeps deleting my programs from the dvr. | 而且有人一直在删我录的电视节目 |
| [09:30] | Celebrities are going out of their comfort zone, | 现在的明星越来越大胆了 |
| [09:32] | Avery, and I am missing it. | 艾芙莉 我却把精彩内容都错过了 |
| [09:35] | I promise that we will get you back in the house, Stan. | 我保证我们会让你重回室内的 斯坦 |
| [09:39] | In fact, you know what? | 实际上 我有一个更好的主意 |
| [09:41] | Maybe we should all live outside in solidarity with Stan. | 我们应该和斯坦一起住在外面 |
| [09:45] | That will show mom and dad how unfair this is. | 让爸妈意识到把他赶出去多么不公平 |
| [09:47] | – Okay, kids, lunch. – No way, mom. | – 好了孩子们 吃午饭了 – 不 妈 |
| [09:50] | We’re taking a stand. | 我们要表明立场 |
| [09:51] | We’re not going inside until Stan’s allowed back in the house. | 除非你把斯坦放进去 不然我们也不进去 |
| [09:54] | So could you bring my lunch out here, | 所以你能不能帮我把午饭端出来 |
| [09:56] | and use the raisins to make a smiley face in the peanut butter? | 然后在花生酱上用葡萄干画一个笑脸 |
| [09:58] | The kids think they’re going to live outside | 孩子们要待在外面抗议 |
| [10:01] | in protest until we let Stan be an inside dog again. | 除非我们把斯坦放进来 |
| [10:04] | Well, when you kids learn that you’re wrong, | 好吧 当你们意识到自己的错误的时候 |
| [10:07] | you’ll just come back inside. | 你们会自己进来的 |
| [10:09] | Or we could just tell you to come inside right now. | 或者我现在就叫你们进来 |
| [10:11] | So I’m a united front with you, | 我早上都和你统一战线了 |
| [10:12] | but you’re not a united front with me? | 现在你不和我统一战线 |
| [10:14] | Kids, I support your father’s ridiculous idea | 孩子们 我支持你们老爸的可笑想法 |
| [10:18] | that you’ll learn that you’re wrong on your own. | 等你们自己意识到自己的错误 |
| [10:20] | That’s all I’m asking. | 我满意了 |
| [10:23] | Thanks for doing this for me, guys. | 谢谢你们为我所做的这些 |
| [10:25] | Of course, Stan. | 不用谢 斯坦 |
| [10:27] | You know we’d do anything for you. | 你知道我们会竭尽所能来帮你的 |
| [10:28] | Well, welcome to my yard. | 好吧 欢迎来到我的地盘 |
| [10:30] | There’s a few things you should know. | 事先声明一下 |
| [10:32] | Over there is where I pee, over there is where I bury my bones, | 那里是我撒尿的地方 那里是我埋骨头的地方 |
| [10:35] | and this is where I draw caricatures. | 那里是我画漫画的地方 |
| [10:39] | You like to water ski, right? | 你喜欢滑水 对吧 |
| [10:43] | I don’t like this, Bennett. | 我不喜欢这样 班尼特 |
| [10:45] | It feels like they’re getting away with something. | 他们不在总觉得少了点什么 |
| [10:46] | I think we should go out there and tell them to come back inside. | 我觉得我们应该出去让他们快回到房子里来 |
| [10:48] | No, we can’t. They’ve only been out there a few hours. | 不行 他们才在外面待了几个小时 |
| [10:51] | Soon enough, they’ll get uncomfortable and come in. | 很快 他们就会感觉到不舒服然后回来了 |
| [10:54] | It’s all in my book of magical parenting tips, Abracadaddy. | 这些在我神奇的家教指南书《超级爸爸》里都写着呢 |
| [10:58] | Ta-da! | 嗒哒 |
| [11:01] | Well, the kids don’t look uncomfortable. | 他们看上去并没有感到不舒服啊 |
| [11:04] | Oh, they’re about to become very uncomfortable. | 哦 他们马上就会感到超级不舒服了 |
| [11:07] | They left something inside that | 他们把一件东西落在里面了 |
| [11:09] | they cannot live without. | 没有这件东西他们没法活 |
| [11:10] | Their cell phone chargers. | 手机充电器 |
| [11:13] | Ta-da! | 嗒哒 |
| [11:15] | Who’s your abracadaddy now? | 我果然是超级爸爸吧 |
| [11:19] | I’ve only got two percent power left. | 我手机只有百分之二的电了 |
| [11:21] | What do I spend it on? Wait, I know. | 这最后百分之二该怎么用呢 我知道了 |
| [11:24] | Selfie. | 自拍 |
| [11:26] | I’m gonna post that on buddybop. | 我要把他上传到空间里去 |
| [11:31] | No! | 不要啊 |
| [11:33] | Ha! That is what you get for watching videos all day. | 哈 整天看视频的报应来了吧 |
| [11:36] | I have been saving my power. | 我可是一直在省电呢 |
| [11:38] | I have 40% left. | 我还有百分之40的电量 |
| [11:39] | Yeah, about that. | 呃 说起来 |
| [11:41] | I’ve been using your phone to check out | 我一直在用你的手机翻 |
| [11:43] | all the selfies Tyler posted on buddybop. | 泰勒空间里的自拍照 |
| [11:46] | There’s some real good ones there, guy. | 有些看上去帅毙了 哥们 |
| [11:49] | You’re at two percent. | 你还有百分之二 |
| [11:52] | Selfie. | 自拍 |
| [11:56] | Worth it. | 值了 |
| [11:58] | Now how am I supposed to text my friends? | 这样我怎么和我的朋友们发短信 |
| [12:01] | If you wanna talk to your friends, | 如果你想和朋友聊天 |
| [12:03] | you have to wait to see them at school. | 你得等到上学 |
| [12:05] | Welcome to my nightmare. | 知道我有多惨了吧 |
| [12:07] | Why did we just walk out here with what we had on us? | 为什么我们就这么孑然一身地出来了呢 |
| [12:11] | We should’ve taken our stuff with us. | 我们应该带上长期作战的装备 |
| [12:12] | Clothes, cell phone chargers, body spray, body wash, body butter. | 衣服啊 手机充电器啊 护肤喷雾 护肤水 护肤乳 |
| [12:17] | And that’s just the neck-down stuff. | 那还只是脖子以下用的呢 |
| [12:19] | This is where the real investment is. | 真正的投资在往这儿放 |
| [12:23] | I should’ve brought my new book called | 我应该带上我的新书 |
| [12:24] | rock star rabbit loses his guitar. | 《摇滚巨星兔子丢了他的吉他》 |
| [12:27] | Will he find it? If he doesn’t find it, | 他会找到他的吉他吗 如果吉他找不回来 |
| [12:30] | will he still be a rock star? | 他还能叫摇滚巨星吗 |
| [12:31] | Boy, their titles really grab you and don’t let go. | 天啊 这书名还真是引人入胜啊 |
| [12:34] | All right, we brought you | 我们给你们拿了些 |
| [12:37] | a few of the essentials you’ll need to survive. | 你们生存所需的关键物品 |
| [12:39] | Oh, cell phone chargers? | 手机充电器 |
| [12:40] | No, sleeping bags so you won’t freeze, | 不是 防止你们受冻的睡袋 |
| [12:43] | and breakfast bars so you won’t starve. | 和防止你们挨饿的早餐棒 |
| [12:46] | Don’t say essentials if you don’t mean essentials. | 不是关键物品就不要美其名曰关键物品 |
| [12:51] | I’m starving for information, | 我正经历着信息饥渴 |
| [12:53] | and I’m freezed out of social interaction. | 和社会交流的酷寒 |
| [12:56] | Fine. Don’t give me my cell phone charger. | 好吧 我不要手机充电器 |
| [12:59] | Just tell me what people are saying about my selfies. | 只要告诉我我自拍的评论 |
| [13:00] | Just tell me. | 告诉我就可以了 |
| [13:02] | Cell phone chargers are inside, | 手机充电器在里面 |
| [13:04] | right next to the new rock star rabbit book. | 就放在摇滚巨星兔子那本书旁边 |
| [13:07] | Just have to realize you’re wrong and come inside. | 只要意识到错误再进来就可以了 |
| [13:10] | No. We’re doing this for Stan. | 不 我们这么做是为了斯坦 |
| [13:12] | Yeah, we’re not coming inside until you let him come inside. | 是啊 除非你把斯坦放进去 不然我们也不进去 |
| [13:17] | Okay, but I hope you realize | 好吧 但你要知道 |
| [13:19] | rock star rabbit may or may not find his guitar. | 摇滚巨星兔子可能或者可能没有找到他的吉他 |
| [13:23] | Not my problem. | 跟我无关 |
| [13:25] | Walk away. Walk away. | 淡定走开 淡定走开 |
| [13:34] | They spent the whole night out there. | 他们在外面过了一晚上 |
| [13:35] | I thought you said they’d crack by now. | 你不是说他们现在该崩溃了吗 |
| [13:37] | They’re gonna crack. It’s just taking longer than I thought. | 他们会崩溃的 只是比我预料的时间久一点罢了 |
| [13:40] | I don’t have the energy to fight with you right now. | 我现在没精力和你吵架 |
| [13:43] | – I was up all night. – Worrying about the kids? | – 我一晚上没睡 – 担心孩子们 |
| [13:45] | No, reading rock star rabbit loses his guitar. | 不是 看那本《摇滚巨星兔子丢了他的吉他》 |
| [13:48] | That title really grabs you and doesn’t let go. | 这书名还真是引人入胜啊 |
| [13:51] | Well, I was down here all night so I could be near the kids. | 好吧 我一晚上都在下面离他们近一点 |
| [13:55] | I slept with my head on the kitchen table. | 我趴在厨房桌子上睡着了 |
| [13:57] | I have a crick in my neck, Bennett, a crick. | 我还落枕了 班尼特 落枕 |
| [13:59] | I can do this, but not this. | 我可以这样 但不能这样 |
| [14:00] | Ow! Okay, I can do it, but… ow! | 啊 好吧 我能 但是 啊 |
| [14:03] | I’ve had enough. | 我受够了 |
| [14:05] | I’m going to tell the kids they’re coming inside. | 我要叫他们进来了 |
| [14:06] | No! We are a united front. | 不行 我们要统一战线 |
| [14:09] | If you’re gonna say that to me, stand over here, | 如果你要对我说那句话 站到这里来 |
| [14:11] | because I can’t turn my head, and I wanna scowl at you. | 因为我的头转不过来 但是我想鄙视你 |
| [14:21] | Oh, it’s not just a dream. | 原来我不是在做梦 |
| [14:24] | I really am outside. | 我还真的在外面 |
| [14:25] | Ah, the bounce is gone. | 我的头发都没弹性了 |
| [14:29] | I was visited in the night by a possum. | 晚上我看到一只负鼠 |
| [14:32] | I was afraid of it, so I played dead. | 我被它吓到了 所以我装死 |
| [14:34] | Then he played dead. It was a standoff. | 然后它也装死 我们就这么对峙来着 |
| [14:36] | Until this morning, when I realized he’d actually died. | 今天早上我才发现它真的死了 |
| [14:40] | I could’ve been sleeping the whole time. | 所以我其实早就可以睡觉了 |
| [14:42] | The point is, this isn’t easy for any of us, | 重点是 虽然这样做并不轻松 |
| [14:44] | but we have to remember why we’re doing this… | 但是我们要记住 我们这样 |
| [14:46] | for Stan. | 都是为了斯坦 |
| [14:48] | We can’t go on like this. Look at us, we’re a mess. | 不能再这样下去了 看看 我们简直一团糟 |
| [14:53] | You like to ride bikes, right? | 你喜欢骑自行车 对吧 |
| [14:56] | I’m sorry, Stan. We tried. | 对不起 斯坦 我们努力过了 |
| [14:58] | Oh, so you’re leaving me? | 你要抛弃我了 |
| [15:00] | I knew you would, you dirty… | 我就知道你会这样 你这个脏 |
| [15:02] | Stan, no one is leaving you. | 斯坦 没人会抛弃你的 |
| [15:03] | …haired angel. You dirty-haired angel. | 头发的小天使 你这个脏头发的小天使 |
| [15:07] | My hair is dirty. | 我头发是很脏 |
| [15:08] | I’m sorry, hair, you shouldn’t have to suffer. | 对不起啦 头发 让你跟我受罪了 |
| [15:10] | You didn’t sign up for this. | 你是无辜的 |
| [15:12] | – Tyler, is your heart beating? – Yes. | – 泰勒 你还有心跳吗 – 有 |
| [15:14] | – Are you breathing? – Yes. | -你还在呼吸吗 -在 |
| [15:16] | Then cork it! | 那就忍住 |
| [15:19] | You’re right. I’m with you guys. | 你是对的 我和你们是一个阵营的 |
| [15:21] | I’m not going anywhere. | 我不会离开的 |
| [15:24] | What is that sound? | 那是什么声音 |
| [15:26] | What is that beautiful sound? | 那是什么天籁 |
| [15:28] | New hair dryer. Wanna try it? | 新吹风机 想来吹一吹吗 |
| [15:34] | That doesn’t look street legal. | 可是不能在外面用 |
| [15:36] | It’s been modified. | 那就进来啊 |
| [15:38] | Walk away. Walk away. | 淡定走开 淡定走开 |
| [15:42] | What are we gonna do? | 我们接下来怎么办 |
| [15:43] | Our alliance is cracking. | 我们的联盟正在崩溃 |
| [15:44] | By alliance, I mean Tyler. | 我指的是泰勒 |
| [15:46] | You ladies are holdin’ up great. | 你们两个小妞可坚守阵线了 |
| [15:48] | We need to put some pressure | 我们要给爸妈施压 |
| [15:50] | on mom and dad so that they crack first, | 让他们先崩溃 |
| [15:53] | or you’ll never be an inside dog. | 不然你永远也进不去 |
| [15:55] | Wait, what if we make ourselves really dirty | 我们把自己弄得蓬头垢面 |
| [15:58] | and disheveled and embarrass | 然后在整个街区面前 |
| [15:59] | mom and dad in front of the whole neighborhood? | 丢爸妈的脸怎样 |
| [16:02] | Stop canine oppression. | 停止虐狗 |
| [16:04] | Dogs are people, too. | 狗也有人权 |
| [16:06] | No justice, no selfies. | 没正义就没自拍 |
| [16:09] | Stan, how is selling your caricatures helping? | 斯坦 你为什么要在这儿卖你的漫画 |
| [16:12] | Just keeping morale up. | 鼓舞士气 |
| [16:14] | I made this for you. | 这些可是为你们画的 |
| [16:17] | You like to protest, right? | 你们喜欢抗议 对吧 |
| [16:24] | I can’t believe the kids are doing this. | 我不敢相信孩子们居然这么做 |
| [16:26] | I know, I know. They’ve gone too far. | 我知道 他们太过分了 |
| [16:28] | Stop canine oppression. | 停止虐狗 |
| [16:30] | Hey, hey, hey. Will you kids keep it down over here? | 嘿 嘿 你们能不能小声点 |
| [16:33] | I’m trying to put a ship into a bottle. | 我在试图把船放到瓶子里 |
| [16:36] | Hey, Mr. Trummer. | 嗨 特拉默先生 |
| [16:38] | We’re protesting my parents being mean. | 我们正在对我们爸妈的恶劣行为进行抗议 |
| [16:40] | Oh, glad you cut your hair, Sally. | 哦 萨莉 你终于剪头发了 |
| [16:42] | Then why are you still calling me Sally? | 那你为什么还叫我萨莉 |
| [16:44] | All the girls are wearing it short this year. | 今年女孩都流行剪短发 |
| [16:47] | Hey, Bernadette Peters. | 嗨 伯纳黛特·彼得斯 |
| [16:49] | Still only funny to you. | 只有你觉得好笑 |
| [16:54] | Mr. Trummer, our parents made Stan an outside dog. | 特拉默先生 我们爸妈把斯坦赶出来了 |
| [16:57] | Will you sign our petition against this act of tyranny? | 你能不能签名请愿抗议这种暴政 |
| [17:00] | I know the schools ain’t what they used to be, | 我知道现在的学校和以前不一样了 |
| [17:02] | but you do understand what a dog is, right? | 但是你们知道狗是什么意思 对吧 |
| [17:05] | You do understand that, in my imagination, | 你知道在我想象中 |
| [17:07] | I’m a kung fu master, right? | 我还是功夫大师呢 对吧 |
| [17:10] | Don’t come lookin’ to me for support. | 别指望得到我的支持了 |
| [17:12] | I think your parents are right. | 我觉得你们爸妈是对的 |
| [17:14] | Completely incompetent as parents, but right. | 作为父母完全无能 但是是对的 |
| [17:21] | Hey, you want me to raise ’em for you while I’m out here? | 你们想让我给他们捐款吗 |
| [17:24] | Mr. Trummer, hello. | 你好啊 特拉默先生 |
| [17:27] | Do you see what’s happening here, Bennett? | 看到了吗 班尼特 |
| [17:29] | The neighbors are noticing. It’s making us look bad and… | 邻居们都注意到了 这让我们很尴尬而且 |
| [17:31] | Get out of that thing. | 从那玩意儿里面出来 |
| [17:33] | I was just checking it | 我只是检测一下它的舒适程度 |
| [17:34] | to make sure we weren’t being unreasonable. | 确认我们没有无理取闹 |
| [17:37] | It is a lot more comfortable than you think. | 这比看上去舒服多了 |
| [17:41] | Well, since you can’t control your own kids, | 既然你们管不好你们的孩子 |
| [17:44] | I’ll see if I can crank up | 我自己拿浇水管 |
| [17:45] | my lawn jet sprinkler and hose ’em down for you. | 帮你把他们浇一顿吧 |
| [17:48] | That won’t be necessary, Mr. Trummer. | 没这个必要吧 特拉默先生 |
| [17:51] | Neither is putting all my junk mail in your mailbox, | 把我收到的垃圾邮件塞到你们邮箱里也没有必要 |
| [17:53] | but I still do it. | 但我还是这么做了 |
| [17:57] | I have had it with the kids. | 我受够了 |
| [17:59] | We’re just gonna tell them they have to come in. | 我现在就要叫他们进来 |
| [18:01] | I don’t care if you think they’ll learn the lesson | 不管你是不是觉得 |
| [18:02] | better by figuring it out themselves. | 他们自己醒悟过来会更好 |
| [18:04] | Your tips in abracadaddy aren’t presto changing them. | 超级爸爸小贴士一点用都没有 |
| [18:08] | Ha ha. Magical one, Ellen. | 哈哈 说得不错 艾伦 |
| [18:12] | Well, we’ve come this far, we can’t cave now. | 我们都坚持这么久了 不能现在就屈服 |
| [18:14] | Would you get out of the dog bed?! | 你就不能从狗床里面出来吗 |
| [18:16] | I didn’t even realize I’d gotten back into it. | 我都不知道我什么时候回来的 |
| [18:20] | Stop canine oppression. | 停止虐狗 |
| [18:21] | We embarrassed them and they’re not cracking. | 我们让他们尴尬但他们并没有屈服 |
| [18:23] | People are just making fun of us. | 现在大家就是在看我们的笑话 |
| [18:25] | Let’s just go back inside. | 我们还是回去吧 |
| [18:26] | No. We can’t. Some of us still care about Stan. | 不要 我们中有些人还关心斯坦呢 |
| [18:31] | I still care about Stan. | 我也关心斯坦啊 |
| [18:32] | You were about to sell him out for some stupid blow dryer. | 你为了个破吹风机就要把他卖了 |
| [18:35] | If blow dryers are stupid, I don’t wanna be smart. | 如果那是个破吹风机的话 我也不想变聪明了 |
| [18:37] | Mission accomplished. | 那不就结了 |
| [18:40] | The two of you fighting is not gonna help Stan. | 你们两个吵架对斯坦没有任何好处 |
| [18:45] | Kids, in. Now. | 孩子们 现在 进来 |
| [18:47] | Ellen, in. Now. | 艾伦 现在 进来 |
| [18:49] | Your way is wrong. | 你的方式是错的 |
| [19:02] | – What is it, Stan? – We need to end this. | – 斯坦 怎么了 – 我们要结束这一切 |
| [19:04] | I was brought here to | 我被带到这儿来是为了 |
| [19:05] | bring the family together not tear it apart. | 让这个家庭和睦起来 而不是拆散它 |
| [19:07] | Well, that and comic relief. | 好吧 是为了家庭和睦和喜剧性调剂 |
| [19:09] | The point is, if it’ll stop all the fighting, | 重点是 如果能结束你们的争吵的话 |
| [19:12] | I’ll be an outside dog. | 我可以待在外面 |
| [19:15] | These past two days have shown | 过去几天你们已经用行动告诉我 |
| [19:16] | me that you guys do think of me as an equal. | 我在你们眼里是平等的 |
| [19:19] | That’s all that really matters. | 这才是最重要的 |
| [19:21] | That’s very sweet, Stan. | 斯坦 你真是太好了 |
| [19:23] | But if you’re willing to give in, | 不过如果你愿意退让的话 |
| [19:25] | maybe you don’t have to give that much. | 或许你不需要退让那么多 |
| [19:27] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [19:29] | Thank you so much for coming, Sherry, on such short notice. | 谢谢你一个临时通知就来了 雪莉 |
| [19:32] | What else do I have to do? | 我还能做什么 |
| [19:35] | After I couldn’t train your dog yesterday, | 昨天我训练不了你的狗 |
| [19:37] | I couldn’t train my next three dogs. | 我接下来三条狗都训练失败了 |
| [19:40] | I lost my mojo, man. | 我的魔力不见了 |
| [19:42] | Cancelled all my clients, | 我取消了和客户的预约 |
| [19:43] | and I’ve just been lounging around the house | 就在房子里虚度光阴 |
| [19:46] | in my “Zero failure” Pajamas, which are now “One failures.” | 穿着我的“零失败”睡衣 哦现在是“一次失败” |
| [19:53] | If you couldn’t train your next three dogs, | 如果你接下来三条狗都训练失败 |
| [19:55] | shouldn’t it be four failures? | 不是应该是四个失败吗 |
| [19:57] | I’m a math genius, you know. | 我是数学天才 |
| [19:59] | I should just go back to my old job. | 我应该重操旧业 |
| [20:02] | Cleaning circus cages dressed as a clown. | 穿得和小丑一样 在马戏团搞卫生 |
| [20:05] | At least there, I had my dignity. | 至少做那个我还有尊严 |
| [20:08] | Well, Sherry, you actually did train Stan. | 雪莉 事实上你对斯坦的训练成功了 |
| [20:12] | It just took a little while to kick in. | 只是反应有点慢 |
| [20:14] | Yeah, tell Stan to sit. | 是啊 让他坐下 |
| [20:15] | What if he doesn’t? | 如果他不坐呢 |
| [20:17] | You have nothing to lose. Really. | 你又有什么可担心的呢 |
| [20:20] | Stan. | 斯坦 |
| [20:22] | Please sit. | 请坐 |
| [20:25] | I’m sorry, never mind. Do what you want. | 对不起 算了 你自便 |
| [20:29] | Oh, that felt good. | 感觉真好 |
| [20:31] | Yeah, something tingled. | 什么东西复苏了 |
| [20:33] | Tell him to do something else. | 让他做点别的 |
| [20:35] | Yeah, see if he’ll go to his bed. | 让他到自己的床上去 |
| [20:39] | Stan, go to your bed. | 斯坦 到你床上去 |
| [20:44] | Wow, look at that. He went to his bed instead of the couch. | 看啊 他到他的床上去了 没上沙发 |
| [20:47] | Yes, Sherry’s back. | 雪莉回归了 |
| [20:49] | This is my house! | 这是我的地盘 |
| [20:52] | Whoa, this is super comfy. | 哇塞 这个超舒服的 |
| [20:54] | How did I not know this? | 为什么我以前没发现 |
| [20:56] | The question is, does it muffle? | 重点是 这里放屁会听到吗 |
| [20:57] | Oh, it muffles. | 听不到 |
| [21:00] | This is so great. | 这真是太好了 |
| [21:02] | Now I can stop telling myself, “You’re not good enough, Sherry,” | 现在我可以停止对我自己说“你不够优秀 雪莉” |
| [21:06] | and go back to telling myself, “You can do anything, Sherry. | 重新对自己说“你无所不能 雪莉” |
| [21:09] | You have beautiful feet and a winning smile.” | “你有一双美腿和战无不胜的微笑” |
| [21:12] | Well, you probably wanna get home and rewrite those pajamas. | 你还是回家再改写下睡衣吧 |
| [21:18] | Yeah, you’re down to three failures. | 是啊 你现在只剩三个失败了 |
| [21:20] | Math genius. | 数学天才 |
| [21:22] | Now that I’m back in business, | 现在我要重操旧业了 |
| [21:24] | there’s some tennis balls and squeaky toys | 我还要从慈善箱把一些 |
| [21:26] | I need to get back from the charity bins. | 网球和狗玩具拿回来 |
| [21:28] | Thanks, Stan. | 斯坦 谢谢 |
| [21:30] | I was about to become a better person, but now I don’t have to. | 我本来就要变成一个好人了 但我现在不必这么做了 |
| [21:34] | Well, thank you, Sherry. | 雪莉 谢谢 |
| [21:37] | This is my house. | 这是我的地盘 |
| [21:39] | You don’t thank me. I’ll thank myself. | 你不要谢我 我会谢我自己 |
| [21:41] | Thank you, Sherry. Thank you. | 谢谢 雪莉 谢谢 |
| [21:46] | Well, there you go, mom. | 好了 老妈 |
| [21:48] | Stan is officially trainable. | 斯坦正式变为可以驯服 |
| [21:50] | Well, if he’s willing to stay off the furniture, | 既然他能从沙发上下来 |
| [21:53] | – I guess he can be an inside dog again. – Thank you, mom. | – 那他就可以进屋了 – 谢谢啦 老妈 |
| [21:56] | Oh, you may not wanna do that. I’m pretty dirty. | 哦 我现在很脏 你可能不想抱我 |
| [21:59] | That doesn’t bother a mother. | 妈妈怎么会嫌女儿脏呢 |
| [22:02] | I was wrong, I was wrong. Strong smells, strong smells. | 我错了 超臭 |
| [22:05] | I was so glad to bring the family back together again, | 能让家庭重归和谐我真是太高兴了 |
| [22:09] | and Ellen even said maybe I could go on the couch | 而且艾伦说只要我不是很脏 |
| [22:12] | as long as I’m not too dirty, | 我可以上沙发 |
| [22:13] | but frankly, I don’t care about that so much anymore. | 不过坦白说 我也不是太在乎这个了 |
| [22:16] | What I’m really obsessed with | 我现在真的为那本 |
| [22:18] | is this rock star rabbit book I’m reading. | 摇滚巨星兔子书着迷 |
| [22:20] | Rockstar Rabbit’s guitar was lost. | 摇滚巨星兔子的吉他丢了 |
| [22:22] | It wasn’t in the attic, | 既不在阁楼里 |
| [22:23] | it wasn’t under the stairs, | 也不在楼梯下面 |
| [22:25] | it wasn’t on the porch, | 不再门廊上 |
| [22:26] | or with his friends, the bears. | 也没在他的熊朋友那里 |
| [22:29] | Wow, these stories really grab you, and don’t let go. | 哎 这些故事还真是引人入胜啊 |