| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | This is actually the first sit down meal | 像这么正经坐下来用餐真的是 |
| [00:03] | that I’ve had since I moved to New York. | 我搬来纽约后的第一次 |
| [00:05] | “Moved” Is a strong word. | “搬”这个词太过了吧 |
| [00:06] | Shouldn’t you move into a place before you use the word “Move”? | 你用搬这个词之前不是应该先搬进某地吗 |
| [00:10] | Artie’s like one of those old country songs. | 阿迪就像那些老的乡村音乐一样 |
| [00:11] | Dude goes out for a pack of cigarettes | 男人出去抽盒烟 |
| [00:13] | and doesn’t come back. | 就一去不复返 |
| [00:14] | I know what you’re saying, but he’s doing better– | 我知道你在说什么 但他好多了 |
| [00:16] | I’m talking right now, he’s halfway to Atlantic City. | 说真的他已经在去大西洋城的途中了 |
| [00:18] | Still trying to… | 还在尝试 |
| [00:19] | – make a tape? – Yes. Yeah… | -做一段录像吗 -是的 |
| [00:21] | Do you want to come with me to my show? | 你想和我一起去看我的表演吗 |
| [00:23] | Going to Rififi. | 我们去”乱斗” |
| [00:25] | You think they’ll let me up, or… | 你觉得他们会让我上台吗 |
| [00:27] | Nope. | 不会 |
| [00:27] | Ali Reissen everybody! | 这位是爱丽·瑞森 |
| [00:33] | I’ve created a monster. | 我把你变成贪婪的怪兽 |
| [00:35] | That’s uh, Caribbean Wheat. It’s my favorite. | 这是我最喜欢的加勒比周的灯光 |
| [00:38] | Of course, you have a favorite. | 你当然会有最喜欢的灯光 |
| [00:48] | – There’s eight fries left. – You can have ’em, I’m done. | -还剩了八个薯条 -你吃吧 我饱了 |
| [00:50] | I’m only supposed to have, like, three carbs a day. | 我每天也就应该摄入三份碳水化合物 |
| [00:52] | – Really? How’s that working out? – Not working out at all. | -真的 有效果吗 -完全没用 |
| [00:54] | It looks like the fourth squeezes in there sometimes. | 看来第四份有时也想挤进来 |
| [00:57] | It bugs me that you’re skinnier than me. | 我挺烦你比我瘦的 |
| [00:59] | You were always my fat– | 你永远是我的胖 |
| [01:03] | How’s it goin’? | 最近怎么样 |
| [01:04] | Just sat right down there, didn’t you? | 你就直接坐下了啊 |
| [01:07] | Is… Is somebody sitting here? | 这里有人坐吗 |
| [01:09] | No, dude, this is the comics’ table, all right? | 兄弟 这是喜剧演员的专座 |
| [01:12] | But I sit with you all the time at the other club. | 但在其他俱乐部我一直和你们坐一起 |
| [01:14] | Yeah, but this is the Cellar. The Cellar, it’s different. | 但这是”酒窖” 不一样了 |
| [01:17] | This is like The Tonight Show. | 这就像《今夜秀》 |
| [01:18] | It’s like being called to walk over to the couch. | 就像是被邀请坐到那个沙发上 |
| [01:21] | These kids don’t fucking know. | 这些年轻人真是不懂 |
| [01:22] | No, they don’t know. They don’t get it. | 他们不知道 也不懂 |
| [01:24] | – They don’t get it. – Back in my day, this table– | -他们不懂 -在我那个时候 这个桌子 |
| [01:25] | Patrice, Giraldo, Burr, real ballbusters. | 帕特里斯 吉拉尔多 伯尔 都不是好惹的 |
| [01:28] | Right, right. | 是啊 |
| [01:28] | I was scared shitless to sit at this table. | 光是坐在这桌我都怕死了 |
| [01:30] | This guy just sits down like a friggin’ Sesame Street character. | 这人坐在这里就像个该死的《芝麻街》人物 |
| [01:35] | That shirt stinks. Can we just talk about the shirt for a second? | 这个衬衫好臭 我们能谈会儿衬衫吗 |
| [01:38] | Geez, did the guy who molests | 天啊 是猥亵你的男人 |
| [01:39] | you leave it on your nightstand last night? | 昨晚留在你床头柜的吗 |
| [01:42] | I didn’t know, I’m– I’m sorry. | 我不知道 对不起 |
| [01:43] | That’s the problem. See, this is it right here. | 这就是问题所在 |
| [01:45] | These guys can’t take it. They give it, they can’t take it. | 这些人无法接受 |
| [01:47] | He’s all upset. All of a sudden, he’s all being serious. | 他一下子就难过了然后变得严肃 |
| [01:49] | – Gentlemen? – Wayne-o! | -先生们 -韦恩 |
| [01:51] | Hey, what’s up, Federman? | 最近怎么样 费德曼 |
| [01:52] | Hey, Pete, get the fuck up. | 皮特 你他妈的起开啊 |
| [01:54] | Yeah. He’s on the lineup. Beat it. | 他排着队呢 走开吧你 |
| [01:56] | You know, I will get up, out of respect. Larry Sanders. | 出于尊敬我会离开 拉里·桑德斯 |
| [02:01] | Step Brothers. | 《非亲兄弟》 |
| [02:02] | Absolutely correct. | 完全正确 |
| [02:05] | I didn’t know that was a benefit? | 我不知道还有这好处 |
| [02:07] | – He knows my credits. – Nice. | -我知道我的节目 -很好 |
| [02:08] | Yeah, there had to be one. | 总有人得知道 |
| [02:12] | Could I get a sink water, please? | 请给我一杯水 |
| [02:14] | Guys… | 伙计们 |
| [02:15] | she walks into is as dumb as mud. | 她走起路像傻子一样 |
| [02:17] | I’m actually starting my own table. | 我有了自己的桌子 |
| [02:19] | You have to have no credits or respect to sit here. | 不用有代表作也不用尊敬就能坐在这里 |
| [02:23] | How’s that shirt, Bob Vila? | 衬衫咋样了 鲍勃·维拉 |
| [02:25] | You look like you’re gonna build a table. | 你看起来就像你要建个桌子 |
| [02:26] | What’s your name again? | 你叫什么名字 |
| [02:27] | – My name– – Nobody cares. Shut up. | -我叫… -没人在乎 闭嘴吧 |
| [02:31] | Oh, God. Where did you get this kid? | 我的天 你在哪认识的这个人 |
| [02:34] | I have a book out. | 我借了一本书 |
| [02:35] | It’s a Hollywood memoir. It’s called I’ll Take That as a No. | 是一本好莱坞实录 叫《我就当你拒绝了》 |
| [02:40] | And it’s being released, direct to PDF, straight to PDF. | 它现在已经以PDF的形式发布了 |
| [02:43] | So check that one out. | 看看吧 |
| [02:57] | Wings? | 鸡翅 |
| [03:00] | – What? – Would you like some wings? | -什么 -你想吃点鸡翅吗 |
| [03:03] | – I… – This is way too much for me, | -我 -这太多了 |
| [03:05] | this is like, for a family of four, from the Midwest. | 这是给中西部一家四口的量 |
| [03:09] | – I– I would love some wi– I can…? – Come on over. | -我还挺想吃的 -过来吧 |
| [03:11] | Yeah, come on over, the bullies are gone. | 来吧 坏蛋们都走了 |
| [03:14] | You are totally safe. | 你十分安全了 |
| [03:15] | – I– I’m honored. – It’s Pete, right? | -我很荣幸 -皮特是吧 |
| [03:19] | Yes, Pete. | 是的 皮特 |
| [03:20] | – Wayne. Nice to meet you. – Nice to meet you. | -韦恩 很高兴认识你 -我也是 |
| [03:22] | Nice to meet you. Just grab something there. | 很高兴认识你 随便吃吧 |
| [03:23] | – Thank you, I will. Oh! – The drumstick, that’s, uh, bold. | -谢谢你 -鸡腿啊 你很大胆 |
| [03:27] | Should I not–? | 我是不是不该 |
| [03:27] | No, you should totally take the best thing on there. | 不 你就应该拿最好的 |
| [03:30] | – Is this– – I’m kidding! Eat! | -这是不是 -开玩笑的 吃吧 |
| [03:32] | Thank you very much. | 谢谢你 |
| [03:39] | I really am a huge fan… of yours. | 我是你的超级粉丝 |
| [03:43] | Well, thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [03:44] | You’re– you’re in one of my favorite scenes in Curb. | 你出演过《抑制热情》我最爱的镜头 |
| [03:48] | Legally Blonde. | 《律政俏佳人》 |
| [03:49] | You know, I made a career out of being in one scene in a movie, | 我通过在电影里的一个镜头闯出了事业 |
| [03:53] | and then never seeing me again. | 然后别人再没见过我 |
| [03:56] | I guess you’re right, right? | 还真是 |
| [03:57] | Yeah, one scene and out. I call it the Federman in and out. | 演一幕就退出 我称之为费德曼式出场 |
| [03:59] | I think you could be in lots of scenes. | 我认为你可以演很多场景 |
| [04:02] | In fact, I get connected to your character. | 事实上我和你的角色很有共鸣 |
| [04:04] | I see your character and I go, “What’s that guy’s story?” | 看了你的角色我问”这家伙有什么故事” |
| [04:06] | I appreciate that. | 谢谢你 |
| [04:08] | So, uh, are you going up tonight? | 所以你今晚上台吗 |
| [04:10] | Well, not here, obviously. | 显然不会在这里 |
| [04:12] | – But, um, I get up– – You do? | -但我上台 -是吗 |
| [04:14] | I do the alt scene a little bit. Right. | 我会做一点另类演出 |
| [04:16] | I’m trying to get into the college market. | 我正在努力进入大学市场 |
| [04:19] | I just submitted a tape to, uh, NACA. | 我给校园活动协会寄了录像带 |
| [04:21] | – I don’t know if– – They still have NACA? | -我不知道 -还有校园活动协会吗 |
| [04:23] | – They still have NACA. – NACA changed my life. | -是啊还有 -它改变了我的一生 |
| [04:25] | Changed my life. | 改变了我的一生 |
| [04:27] | I booked, like, 80 colleges, paid off my student loan. | 我订了80所大学的节目来付清我的学生贷款 |
| [04:31] | But here’s the crazy thing, more important to me was, | 但疯狂的 也是对我更重要的是 |
| [04:33] | I wrote on my tax forms, “Comedian.” | 我在纳税表上写了”喜剧演员” |
| [04:38] | – Is that crazy? – No! | -疯狂吗 -不 |
| [04:39] | – It was so important to me. – That’s– that’s everything. | -这对我太重要了 -那就是一切 |
| [04:41] | – That’s all I want– – I haven’t had a real job since. | -我想要的一切 -我再没有正式工作 |
| [04:44] | That’s what NACA did for me. | 这就是校园活动协会为我做的 |
| [04:46] | And how about this? | 这样怎么样 |
| [04:47] | As a bonus, you take the rest of these. | 作为奖励 剩下这些都给你 |
| [04:49] | I’m gonna go. | 我得走了 |
| [04:50] | But so nice meeting you. | 但很高兴认识你 |
| [04:52] | – Nice to meet you. – Maybe the… | -很高兴认识你 -也许 |
| [04:54] | There’s a little… | 有一点 |
| [04:56] | I’m sure I’ll see you, though, I mean, like, | 我会再见到你的 |
| [04:58] | I pop in here a couple times a week, | 我一个礼拜会来这几次 |
| [04:59] | so… I’ll see you again? | 我会和你再见吗 |
| [05:00] | Yeah, I’m actually… Well, I’m taking a break. | 事实上我要休息一段时间了 |
| [05:05] | – I have Hodgkin’s, so… – What? | -我得了霍奇金病 -什么 |
| [05:08] | Oh my God. | 我的天 |
| [05:09] | Don’t worry, don’t panic, it’s totally treatable. | 别担心 可以治疗的 |
| [05:11] | It’s just, I can’t afford the treatments. | 只是我负担不起治疗 |
| [05:13] | I can’t afford the bills, it’s, like, a whole thing. | 我付不起账单 说来话长了 |
| [05:17] | Yeah, so I’m just gonna move… back in with my parents, | 所以我要回去和我父母一起住 |
| [05:20] | gonna try to squirrel away some money. | 试着存些钱 |
| [05:21] | I’m so sorry. I– I hope it works out for you. | 对不起 希望你能搞定 |
| [05:24] | It’ll work out. Nice meeting you, Pete. | 会的 很高兴见到你皮特 |
| [05:26] | – Enjoy those wings. – Thank you. | -鸡翅都归你了 -谢谢 |
| [05:30] | Be well. | 保重 |
| [05:36] | We got it, buddy. | 拍好了 哥们 |
| [05:37] | All right. Do me a favor, tag me on that, | 请帮我加个标签 |
| [05:39] | so people know I’m alive. | 让大家知道我还活着 |
| [05:43] | Artie. Geez, man. Did you know about Wayne? | 阿迪 天啊 韦恩的事情你知道了吗 |
| [05:47] | What? He try to touch your leg? | 怎么了 他想摸你腿 |
| [05:49] | I– No. What? | 不是 |
| [05:50] | He’s sick. He’s– and he’s, like, he can’t afford– | 他生病了 他好像 看不起病 |
| [05:54] | His insurance is fucking him, and… | 他的保险派不上用场 |
| [05:56] | Yeah, well… He doesn’t have money to pay for his medical care. | 他没有钱拿去治病 |
| [05:58] | I feel bad, too, man. But what do you mean he’s got no money? | 我也很遗憾 但是你说他没钱是什么意思 |
| [06:01] | None of us have any money. Look at us, what are we doing here? | 咱们谁都没钱 看看咱们 在这糊口 |
| [06:04] | It breaks my heart. | 太让我伤心了 |
| [06:05] | Yeah, well. A guy that’s been working for so long, | 一个老爷们工作了这么长时间 |
| [06:08] | and he can’t even afford to pay for his treatment? | 连个医疗费都付不起 |
| [06:11] | I mean, we gotta help him. | 我们得帮帮他 |
| [06:13] | You wanna help? You got any bone marrow lying around? | 你想帮忙 你有多余的骨髓可以捐吗 |
| [06:14] | Because that’s what he needs. | 那正是他需要的 |
| [06:16] | What do you think’s gonna happen here? Come on. | 你以为这能搞出什么事情来 算了 |
| [06:18] | It doesn’t have to be complicated. | 不用那么复杂 |
| [06:19] | We could just do a show and give him the money. | 我们可以搞一场演出 把演出费给他 |
| [06:22] | We could do like a benefit. | 就像搞个义演似的 |
| [06:23] | – Oh, a benefit? – We could do a benefit. | -义演 -我们可以义演 |
| [06:24] | Right. Let me explain something to you. | 我来给你讲讲 |
| [06:26] | Every time a comedian does a show, | 每个喜剧演员演的每一场演出 |
| [06:28] | it’s a benefit, for themselves. | 对于自己来说 都是一场义演 |
| [06:30] | That’s how it is, man. | 就是这么回事 |
| [06:32] | But it wouldn’t– it wouldn’t even be that hard. | 不用那么费力 |
| [06:34] | We just need to get a group of comics together. | 我们只需要凑一撮喜剧演员就行 |
| [06:35] | If– if you headline, all the other comics will fall into line. | 你要是带头的话 其他喜剧演员都会加入 |
| [06:39] | Put up a great lineup. | 形成强大的阵容 |
| [06:41] | – Sounds easy. – Raise some money– | -听上去很容易 -募捐一些钱 |
| [06:42] | It is easy. I could even host. | 本来就容易 我甚至可以主持 |
| [06:44] | – Oh, wait, wait. You’ll host? – I– I could host. | -等等 你来主持 -我可以主持 |
| [06:47] | Yeah, now I get your angle. You’ll host. | 这下我明白你的意思了 你来主持 |
| [06:49] | I am rubbing off on you. I get what’s going on here. | 我沾你的光 我们明白怎么回事了 |
| [06:51] | You wanna use his sickness to get stage time. | 你想利用他的病情给自己争取露脸的机会 |
| [06:54] | Is that what’s going on? | 是不是这个意思 |
| [06:55] | Artie, I’m not doing this for me. | 阿迪 我这么做不是为了自己 |
| [06:57] | – I’m just sayin’, I could put it all together. – Right. | -我只是说 我可以来筹划这个活动 -是吗 |
| [06:59] | Make it really, really easy. All you have to do is show up. | 弄得非常简单 你们只需要上台就行 |
| [07:02] | I’ll do anything to make this stop. | 我会极力阻挠的 |
| [07:03] | Let me explain something to you. | 你听我说 |
| [07:05] | – I’ll headline. – You’ll headline? | -我会带头的 -你带头 |
| [07:06] | – I’ll headline. – You’ll do it? | -我做领衔 -真的吗 |
| [07:07] | I’m being honest with you. I will headline. | 我跟你说实话 我会领衔的 |
| [07:09] | But you gotta do the work. Okay? | 但是干活的是你 |
| [07:11] | – Of course. – I feel bad, he’s a good guy. | -当然 -我很难受 他是个好人 |
| [07:15] | You’re a good man, Arthur. | 你是个好人 亚瑟 |
| [07:17] | I don’t know about that, | 这我还真不知道 |
| [07:18] | but I know I’m gonna need a benefit one day, | 但是我知道总有一天我也需要义演 |
| [07:20] | so I’m putting out some karma. And do me a favor. | 所以我这也算积点德 拜托你件事 |
| [07:22] | Promise me one thing. When my benefit comes around, | 答应我 给我义演的那一天 |
| [07:25] | you’re not hosting. You’re not hosting. | 你别主持 你不会当主持 |
| [07:28] | Personally, I like sweet cream, as a base, | 我个人的话 喜欢用甜奶油做基底 |
| [07:31] | ’cause it doesn’t overwhelm the mix-ins. | 因为它不会掩盖混合辅料的味道 |
| [07:33] | For me, it’s all about tasting the mix-ins. | 对我来说 混合辅料的味道比较重要 |
| [07:36] | Oreo Overload is popular. | 大家常加的是奥利奥 |
| [07:40] | I’m gonna take my break, but Camilla– Camilla, could you, uh, | 我的休息时间到了 卡米拉 你可不可以 |
| [07:44] | assist me, please? | 帮我个忙 |
| [07:45] | Thank you, ladies. | 谢谢 女士们 |
| [07:52] | – What? – You have stubble. | -怎么了 -你长胡茬了 |
| [07:53] | This? | 这个吗 |
| [07:55] | This… pinch of sand? | 这把沙子粒 |
| [07:57] | Yeah! Just a sprinkle of salt. | 对 就像一把盐 |
| [08:00] | Yeah, don’t get used to it. I haven’t shaved in, like, nine days. | 还不习惯 我九天没刮胡子了 |
| [08:03] | This is it. | 就这样 |
| [08:04] | You’re looking at it. | 你都看到了 |
| [08:06] | – It’s crazy. – That’s crazy. | -神奇吧 -神奇 |
| [08:07] | I don’t shave. Except– except these guys. | 我不刮胡子 除了 除了这片 |
| [08:10] | These guys grow little hairs, so I clean ’em off in the shower. | 这片长出来比较重 我洗澡的时候就刮掉 |
| [08:14] | Sorry, that’s gross. | 不好意思 太恶心了 |
| [08:15] | – It’s not gross. – I’m a gross person. | -不恶心 -我就是个恶心的人 |
| [08:16] | No, we all hairs. I have this one hair, growing out of my nipple. | 大家都长毛发 我有一根汗毛就长在乳头上 |
| [08:20] | It’s, like, real long. I could shave it. | 特别长 我可以刮掉它 |
| [08:23] | But I’m not gonna shave it, | 但是我就是不刮 |
| [08:24] | ’cause I wanna see how long it’ll get. | 因为我想看看到底能长多长 |
| [08:26] | It’s so weird. I have, like, pride. | 很怪异 我有点引以为豪 |
| [08:28] | I love her. I call her Betty. | 我很喜欢它 给它起名叫贝蒂 |
| [08:30] | Is it weird that I know Betty? | 我要是认识一下贝蒂的话会很奇怪吗 |
| [08:32] | That makes me sad. | 会让我难过 |
| [08:34] | – I wanted her to be my little secret. – No. | -我想让她成为我的小秘密 -不要 |
| [08:36] | Oh, no. | 不行 |
| [08:37] | – No, it’s lovely. You’re lovely. – I know. | -没事 挺可爱 你很可爱 -我知道 |
| [08:39] | You should be proud. | 你应该感到骄傲 |
| [08:41] | – What? – I don’t know, I feel like… | -怎么了 -不知道 我感觉 |
| [08:44] | you’d look cute with a beard. | 你要是留胡子的话能挺帅 |
| [08:45] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [08:46] | I think about it, though. | 我确实想过 |
| [08:47] | The worst part of not being able to grow a beard, | 长不出胡子来的最可怕的事情就是 |
| [08:49] | it’s like a– it’s a man thing. | 这是男子气概的象征 |
| [08:51] | You know? Like, if I’m on a desert island, | 如果我在一个荒岛上 |
| [08:54] | you know, that’s, like, when men grow beards. | 那种情况下男的都有胡子 |
| [08:56] | I’m sure. Like Tom Hanks? | 肯定的 就像汤姆·汉克斯 |
| [08:57] | Yeah. If I was on a desert island, a rescue chopper would fly by, | 对 要是我在荒岛上 救援直升机飞过来 |
| [09:00] | they’d look down and they’d think I was fine. | 他们往下看会觉得我没什么大碍 |
| [09:03] | “Oh, let’s save that– No. Roll the ladder back up. | “咱们把那个…算了 把梯子收回来 |
| [09:06] | That guy’s just looking to get away.” | 那哥们就想着度假” |
| [09:08] | He wants to be here. | 他就想在这待着 |
| [09:09] | Yeah. He’s clearly shaving, he’s found resources. | 他胡子刮得挺干净的 他有生活用品 |
| [09:12] | That’s so funny. You should write that down. | 太逗了 你应该写下来 |
| [09:14] | Really? You think that’s stage funny? | 真的吗 你觉得这是个有响包袱 |
| [09:17] | Yeah. It’s a bit. | 是的 是个小段子 |
| [09:19] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [09:23] | Oh, shit, it’s Greg. I got Rififi. | 糟糕 是格雷格 我能上”乱斗”了 |
| [09:26] | – That’s great. – I got Rififi! | -太好了 -我能上”乱斗”了 |
| [09:29] | They want me to do five minutes on Rifi– this is amazing! | 他们想让我在”乱斗”上来五分钟 太好了 |
| [09:31] | I might’ve put in a little word. | 我可能随了一嘴 |
| [09:34] | What? | 什么 |
| [09:36] | You did? | 是吗 |
| [09:37] | – Thank you! – You’re welcome. I just… | -谢谢你 -不客气 |
| [09:40] | I told ’em you’re great, ’cause you’re great. | 我跟他们说你很棒 因为你就是棒 |
| [09:44] | I got a sugar mama. Thank you! | 我找了个干妈 谢谢 |
| [09:47] | What do you think the employee discount is at the Dollar Store? | “一元店”的员工能拿到什么折扣 |
| [09:52] | Do you think it’s just, take it? | 你们觉得是”随便拿”吗 |
| [09:56] | Just take it. Thanks for working here. | 随便拿吧 谢谢你在这工作 |
| [10:00] | I’m not, uh, a very manly guy. I can’t grow a beard. | 我不是一个特爷们的汉子 我不长胡子 |
| [10:04] | Which is fine. But, you know, I was thinking about it. | 没什么大不了的 但是 我想到 |
| [10:06] | What if I– what if I’m in, like, a plane crash, | 我要是遭遇了坠机事故 |
| [10:08] | and I have to live on a deserted island? | 不得不在荒岛上生活怎么办 |
| [10:10] | If I can’t grow a beard, the rescue chopper’s gonna come by, | 我要是没长胡子的话 救援飞机飞过来 |
| [10:14] | they’re gonna see me, they’ll think I’m fine. | 他们看见我 会觉得我没事 |
| [10:18] | I guess he just wanted to get away, because… | 我估计他就是想度假的吧 |
| [10:21] | he’s clearly found a way to shave, so… he’s got resources, | 很明显他有办法刮胡子 所以他有生活用品 |
| [10:26] | so, roll the ladder back up, he’s okay. | 把梯子收回来吧 他没事 |
| [10:52] | – You Nick? – Excuse me? | -你是尼克 -你说什么 |
| [10:55] | Who are you? | 你是谁 |
| [10:56] | Who are you– I’m looking for Artie. | 你… 我是来找阿迪的 |
| [10:59] | Artie Lange? | 阿迪·兰格 |
| [11:01] | Artie’s not here. | 阿迪不在 |
| [11:03] | Sorry. Is he coming back or…? | 不好意思 他回来吗 还是 |
| [11:04] | Yeah, like in five, 10 minutes, all right? | 嗯 大概五到十分钟吧 |
| [11:07] | Is– Can he– So he just left you– | 他让你留在 |
| [11:11] | You know what? Wait in the hallway. | 这样吧 在走廊等着 |
| [11:12] | You want me to wait in the hall– | 你让我在走廊等 |
| [11:14] | You know what? You’re right, wait in here. | 好吧 你说得对 进来等吧 |
| [11:17] | I don’t like this hallway for you. | 我不想看你站在走廊里 |
| [11:19] | Come on. | 来吧 |
| [11:21] | I could– I can– | 我可以… 我可以… |
| [11:22] | – You can wait in here! – Okay. | -你可以进来等 -好的 |
| [11:27] | Is this… is this the guy? | 是这个人吗 |
| [11:29] | No. It’s a friend of Artie’s. | 不 他是阿迪的朋友 |
| [11:32] | He’s, uh, he’s gonna wait for him here. | 他要在这里等阿迪 |
| [11:37] | How are you doin’? I’m Raymond, this is Gene. | 你好 我是雷蒙德 这是吉恩 |
| [11:39] | We’re friends of Artie’s from the neighborhood. | 我们是阿迪城里的朋友 |
| [11:42] | How do you know– how do you know him? | 你怎么会认识他 |
| [11:45] | I, um, I’m a comedian, too, so– | 我也是名喜剧演员 所以… |
| [11:48] | Yeah. You talk in a microphone? | 是啊 你也用麦克风表演吗 |
| [11:50] | Right. | 好吧 |
| [11:51] | You know that reminds me, that reminds me, how I know Artie. | 这让我想起我怎么认识的阿迪 |
| [11:54] | We got a mutual friend that got hit by a train, | 我们有个共同的朋友 被火车撞了 |
| [11:56] | but he only got his foot cut off, but it wasn’t so bad, right? | 但他只锯了腿 就没那么糟对吧 |
| [11:59] | Anyway, that’s how we met. | 反正我们就是这么认识的 |
| [12:01] | It was fucking funny, it was fucked up. | 太搞笑了 太操蛋了 |
| [12:04] | Well, I don’t– um, | 我不… |
| [12:05] | I’m gonna have to run to my car, so I’ll just– | 我得去车上拿个东西 我… |
| [12:08] | Okay? | 好吗 |
| [12:12] | Definitely, man. Watch your hand in the door. | 没问题 兄弟 关门时别夹到手 |
| [12:14] | Okay. Thank you. | 好的 谢谢 |
| [12:24] | Is, um, Artie Lange performing? | 有阿迪·兰格的表演吗 |
| [12:27] | No. | 没有 |
| [12:30] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [13:04] | This is like the eighth time you’ve called me, Pete. | 你给我打了八个电话 皮特 |
| [13:06] | What do you want? | 你想干什么 |
| [13:18] | You all right? | 你还好吗 |
| [13:19] | I’m fine. | 我没事 |
| [13:21] | Artie, you don’t look fine. | 阿迪 你看起来不太好 |
| [13:24] | Oh, thanks, man, ’cause I don’t own a mirror. | 谢了 兄弟 可惜我家没镜子照 |
| [13:28] | So? I mean– | 所以呢 我是说… |
| [13:29] | So, what? Look, you called me. | 干什么 是你打电话给我的 |
| [13:31] | I called you back, right? | 我才给你回电话 |
| [13:32] | So– so this is your idea. What’s going on? | 都是你挑的事 怎么了 |
| [13:34] | You… It took you a while to call me back. | 你… 你过了好久才给我回电 |
| [13:38] | And then, who were those guys? | 再说了那些人是谁 |
| [13:40] | – What guys? – The guys that you– | -什么人 -那些在你家… |
| [13:42] | You had two sketchy guys in your apartment. | 你家里有两个灰头土脸的人 |
| [13:45] | They’re my sketch group. | 他们是我素描班的朋友 |
| [13:46] | – That’s not– – No… | -这可不是… -不 |
| [13:47] | Artie, these guys came over, they– they– | 阿迪 这些人就这样出现 他们还… |
| [13:49] | they had drugs with– they were doing drugs. | 他们还带着毒品 他们在嗑药 |
| [13:52] | Okay, look. First of all, Columbo, | 好了 神探 听着 |
| [13:53] | I don’t know anything about that. | 首先我完全不知道这件事 |
| [13:55] | Nothing. If someone’s doing drugs, | 什么都不知道 如果有人嗑药 |
| [13:57] | – I– I don’t know anything about drugs. – It was right here, | -我根本不了解任何相关情况 -就在这里 |
| [13:58] | it was in your house. Artie, you can’t be using. | 就在你家里 阿迪 你不能复吸 |
| [14:01] | You know this. I thought you were in recovery. | 你知道的 你不是在戒毒么 |
| [14:04] | First of all, I’m not using. Okay? Let’s get that straight. | 首先我根本没复吸 这一点我们要明确 |
| [14:07] | Don’t be yelling out that bullshit. | 别嚷嚷那堆废话 |
| [14:09] | It costs me work. I’m not using. | 那会浪费我的时间 我没复吸 |
| [14:12] | I’m in recovery. Actively. | 我正积极戒毒呢 |
| [14:14] | – So– – I would never shoot up with them. | -那… -我也绝不会和他们一起吸 |
| [14:16] | If they– First of all, | 要是他们… 先说明一点 |
| [14:18] | I saw them possibly doing something weird, | 我是看到他们好像在做些奇怪的事 |
| [14:20] | and I got out– I got outta here. | 于是我就出去了 |
| [14:21] | – That’s… That’s good. I’m proud of you. – Thank you. | -那很棒 我为你骄傲 -谢谢 |
| [14:26] | Well, thanks for being proud of me. | 谢谢你为我骄傲 |
| [14:27] | That’s not easy to do, that’s amazing. | 那不是件容易的事 那很了不起 |
| [14:29] | I just wanna help you, man. | 我只是想帮你 兄弟 |
| [14:31] | If you’re on a good streak, I just wanna be here– | 如果你状态好了 我希望能陪在你身边 |
| [14:34] | I gotta tell you something. You know, usually, | 我得跟你说些话 其实通常来说 |
| [14:36] | I… I blow people off like this, | 我不太理人们的这种行为 |
| [14:38] | but, um, you’re different than my New York buddies. | 但你和我纽约的朋友不一样 |
| [14:41] | You’re way more sincere, and, uh, I appreciate that. | 你真诚得多 我很感谢这点 |
| [14:44] | I do, I appreciate it. I do. Thank you. | 真的 我很感谢 谢谢你 |
| [14:47] | – I– I appreciate you, are you kidding? – Thank you. | -是我要谢谢你 说真的 -谢谢 |
| [14:49] | Thank you for telling me that. | 谢谢你跟我说这些 |
| [14:50] | Uh, look, uh, thank you for being here. | 听着 谢谢你过来 |
| [14:51] | Nobody else is here. You know? | 没其他人来了 |
| [14:53] | You’re probably the best friend I got right now. | 你可能是我现在最好的朋友 |
| [14:55] | And I appreciate it. | 我很感谢这点 |
| [14:57] | – Well, let– – You know, you are. | -让我… -其实你就是 |
| [14:59] | – Let me help you. – You wanna help? | -让我帮你 -你想帮我 |
| [15:01] | I wanna be– Let me help you. | 我想… 让我帮你 |
| [15:02] | All right, well let’s, uh, | 好吧 那我们就… |
| [15:04] | let’s do something, uh, positive, then. | 我们就做点事 做点正面的事 |
| [15:06] | Yes. | 对 |
| [15:07] | You gotta replace a bad habit with a good habit. | 你得用好习惯代替坏习惯 |
| [15:09] | I saw a TED Talk. You just gotta… | 我看过一个TED演讲 你只需要… |
| [15:10] | – Let’s do it. … – retrain your brain. | -我们就这么做 -重新训练你的大脑 |
| [15:12] | Well, I’m in. Let’s do it. | 我同意 我们行动吧 |
| [15:13] | Well, I’ll tell you what a good habit is for me, I’m starvin’. | 告诉你我需要什么好习惯 我快饿死了 |
| [15:15] | – Let’s go get something to eat. – I would love to. | -我们去吃点东西吧 -没问题 |
| [15:51] | I’m sorry things aren’t easy for you right now, | 很遗憾你目前的生活不太轻松 |
| [15:52] | – but… – Yeah, well… | -但… -是啊… |
| [15:54] | Yeah, it’s not easy. Life’s weird now. | 是不轻松 现在的生活一团乱 |
| [15:56] | It really is. | 确实是 |
| [15:58] | Are you going to meetings or…? | 你打算去互助会或者… |
| [16:00] | I gotta tell you, the whole thing about AA, | 我得告诉你 瘾君子互诫协会这种东西 |
| [16:02] | it feels a little too religious for me, you know? | 感觉它对我来说有点太宗教了 |
| [16:04] | And God, with me, quite frankly, he’s got some explaining to do. | 而上帝对我而言 说实话 他还欠我解释 |
| [16:08] | – What do you mean? – What do I mean? | -你什么意思 -我什么意思 |
| [16:10] | So, you know, your father becomes a quadriplegic | 你爸因为从屋顶上摔下来瘫痪了 |
| [16:12] | by falling off a roof, with no insurance. | 还没保险赔偿 |
| [16:14] | You gotta go on welfare, and, uh, it ruins your whole family. | 你得领救济金 这件事也毁了你整个家庭 |
| [16:17] | That doesn’t make you feel like | 这种事会让你觉得 |
| [16:18] | there’s somebody up there that’s looking out for you. | 天上不存在什么人在关照你 |
| [16:21] | And, uh, you know, I’m a little cynical about it, quite frankly. | 说实话 我确实有点怀疑 |
| [16:24] | What do you want me to tell you? I mean– | 我还能怎么说呢 |
| [16:25] | – I’m so sorry. – Yeah, right. | -我很抱歉 -是啊 |
| [16:29] | To be honest, I’ve been | 说实话 我也经历过 |
| [16:30] | having a hard time with the whole “Higher power” | 一段很难去相信”更高力量”的时间 |
| [16:33] | – thing myself. – Really? You? | -对我自己而言 -真的吗 你 |
| [16:36] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [16:38] | I don’t know. So much of my life, | 说不上来 我人生的大部分时间 |
| [16:40] | I was afraid of God. | 都特别害怕上帝 |
| [16:43] | Now I’m looking back, I didn’t do stuff. | 但我现在回头看 我没做什么事 |
| [16:46] | Maybe I missed out, I don’t know. | 也许我错过了 我也不知道 |
| [16:48] | What stuff? | 什么样的事 |
| [16:50] | I was so worried about hell, I– I didn’t wanna– | 我一直很害怕地狱 我不想… |
| [16:53] | like I wouldn’t jerk off, | 就像我不打飞机 |
| [16:55] | just in case Jesus came back while I was masturbating. | 因为怕耶稣在我手淫的时候回来 |
| [16:58] | Well, that would be horrible luck, bad timing. | 那可真是坏运气 坏时机 |
| [17:02] | It’s confusing. | 很费解 |
| [17:04] | Yeah, well, life can be a pretty fucked up thing, I’ll tell you. | 是啊 我告诉你 人生很操蛋 |
| [17:07] | It can be, uh… be pretty confusing. | 它可能会相当复杂 |
| [17:11] | I feel for you, man. I do. | 我理解你 兄弟 我理解 |
| [17:21] | Isn’t this nice? I mean, get the blood going, get fresh air? | 是不是很棒 血液流通 呼吸新鲜空气 |
| [17:24] | You know, they say exercise gets the, uh, releases the, um– | 他们说运动能释放… |
| [17:27] | Endorphins. Yeah, if– if you say “Endorphins” Right now, | 内啡肽 如果你说出”内啡肽”这个词 |
| [17:30] | I’m gonna throw you off a bridge. | 我就把你扔到桥底下去 |
| [17:31] | I– I’m just– I just gotta– | 我得… 我得… |
| [17:33] | I gotta sit down. I’m having a good time. | 我得坐下来 我很开心 |
| [17:34] | I just gotta sit down, I’m tired. | 我只是得坐会 我很累 |
| [17:36] | It doesn’t look clean. | 这里看起来不太干净 |
| [17:37] | I’ll disinfect you when we leave. | 我们走之前我会给你消毒的 |
| [17:46] | This, uh… this does feel nice, though. | 但确实感觉很不错 |
| [17:51] | I… I’m not kidding, I really feel better. | 我没开玩笑 我真的感觉更好了 |
| [17:53] | I feel like I should, uh, do this more often, | 我感觉自己或许应该经常运动 |
| [17:56] | and… and just breathe air. | 多呼吸新鲜空气 |
| [17:58] | I feel young, you know. | 我感觉变年轻了 |
| [18:01] | I’m glad. | 我很开心 |
| [18:02] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [18:03] | I like seeing you like this. | 我喜欢看你这样 |
| [18:05] | You do, yeah? | 真的吗 |
| [18:06] | It’s like– I didn’t know you when you were young. | 你年轻的时候我还不认识你 |
| [18:09] | When were you young? | 你年轻的时候那是什么年代了 |
| [18:11] | The ’30s. | 30年代 |
| [18:13] | Those were good times, see? | 那是个好时候 看到了吧 |
| [18:15] | You would’ve been a great gang boss. | 你本来可以做个很棒的黑帮头目 |
| [18:19] | You know what? That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. | 你知道吗 这是你对我说过的最好的话了 |
| [18:22] | Uh, honestly, this is very, very cute, | 说实话 这真的很棒 |
| [18:24] | but it’s gonna start turning into a date pretty soon, so, uh… | 但马上就要开始演变成一场约会了 所以 |
| [18:27] | I’m gonna get going. I’ll see you tonight. | 我要走了 今晚见 |
| [18:29] | – Right? – Yeah. | -如何 -好的 |
| [18:31] | Thanks, man, you know, | 谢了兄弟 |
| [18:32] | this really was something else. | 这样做不是为了要你感谢 |
| [18:34] | – I appreciate it. – Yeah. | -我很感谢你 -没事 |
| [18:35] | I love you, buddy. | 我爱你 兄弟 |
| [18:36] | I love you, man. | 我也爱你 |
| [18:38] | I’ll see you. | 回见 |
| [18:39] | Okay. Take care of yourself, man. | 好的 好好照顾自己 |
| [18:41] | Bye, Arthur. I love that shirt. | 再见 亚瑟 我喜欢你这件衬衫 |
| [18:43] | I get it. | 我知道了 |
| [18:46] | Thanks very much. Thanks for coming to the Village Underground. | 非常感谢 谢谢你能来”地下村” |
| [18:49] | We got a great show tonight. | 今晚有一个非常棒的节目 |
| [18:50] | Uh, and Artie Lange will be here later to headline. | 阿迪·兰格会来领衔 |
| [18:57] | Are you guys– you having fun? | 你们 你们玩得开心吗 |
| [18:59] | Okay, good, um… | 好的 很好 |
| [19:01] | tonight, your– your money, | 今晚 你们的钱 |
| [19:03] | is actually going to a very good cause. | 将会花得很值 |
| [19:07] | All right? I’m super excited, so let’s have a great show! | 我已经超级激动了 让我们好好欣赏节目吧 |
| [19:17] | – There he is. – Hey. | -你来了 -你好 |
| [19:18] | How’s it goin’, how you feelin’? | 最近怎么样 感觉如何 |
| [19:20] | I’m feeling really good. I went down there, it’s sold out. | 我感觉非常好 我去了那边 票卖完了 |
| [19:22] | – I know. – This is fantastic. | -我知道 -很不可思议 |
| [19:24] | – Thank you. – They’re very excited to see you. | -谢谢 -他们要见到你都很激动 |
| [19:25] | – When am I going on? – You are on, uh, fourth. | -我什么时候上场 -你是第四个 |
| [19:29] | And then Artie will come up after you to close the show. | 然后阿迪在你后面出场 作为今晚压轴 |
| [19:32] | Perfect, thank you. Clean up, like the Babe. | 完美 谢谢你 像贝比一样扫荡全场 |
| [19:35] | That’ll do, pig. That’ll do. | 这就够了小猪 这就够了 |
| [19:39] | Yeah, I’m talkin’ about the baseball guy. | 我说的是那个打棒球的贝比 |
| [19:41] | – Yeah, I know, I know. – You sure? | -我知道 我知道 -你确定吗 |
| [19:43] | Yeah, yeah. | 是的 |
| [19:45] | All right, thanks, you guys, thank you. | 好的 谢谢你们 谢谢 |
| [19:48] | My impression of a Beethoven concert, here we go. | 我对一场贝多芬音乐会的模仿 开始咯 |
| [19:52] | Please welcome, direct from Bonn… | 请大家欢迎 来自波恩的指挥 |
| [19:56] | it’s Beethoven. | 贝多芬 |
| [19:59] | – Is Artie here yet? – I haven’t seen him. | -阿迪到了吗 -我还没看到他 |
| [20:00] | Thank you very much, it’s great to be here. | 谢谢大家 很高兴来到这 |
| [20:05] | Uh, since this is the last night of the tour, | 因为这是巡演的最后一晚了 |
| [20:07] | I’m just gonna play the hits. | 我就只演奏热门曲目了 |
| [20:11] | Yeah, this is Artie, leave a message. | 我是阿迪 请留言 |
| [20:13] | I start my concerts the same way. | 我的音乐会也是这样开始的 |
| [20:15] | Are you ready to classical? | 准备好欣赏古典了吗 |
| [20:19] | I can’t hear you! | 我听不到你们的声音 |
| [20:23] | No, I can’t hear you. I’m completely deaf. | 不 我听不到 我完全聋了 |
| [20:25] | It’s a miracle I can play piano. | 我能弹钢琴是个奇迹 |
| [20:28] | All right, that’s my time. I’m gonna leave you with this one. | 好了 我的时间到了 带给你们最后一首 |
| [20:30] | Fucking Artie! | 该死的阿迪 |
| [20:48] | Oh my God! I am so sorry! | 老天 太对不起了 |
| [20:49] | Excuse me! Sorry! | 原谅我 真的很对不起 |
| [20:53] | Sorry! Sorry! | 对不起 对不起 |
| [21:11] | I was just with my father. Um, | 我刚刚跟我爸在一起 |
| [21:13] | it’s unbelievable. We had the best time– | 太难以置信了 我们度过了最棒的时光 |
| [21:15] | Hi, sorry. Uh… I’m Pete. | 抱歉 我是皮特 |
| [21:18] | – Hello. – Hi. | -你好 -你好 |
| [21:19] | – Jessica? – Yes? | -杰西卡 -怎么了 |
| [21:20] | I– I’m looking for a comedian, uh, our headliner, | 我正在找一个喜剧演员 |
| [21:22] | around the corner, at the Underground, | 在街角的那家”地下村” |
| [21:23] | is– is running late. | 我们的主演来晚了 |
| [21:24] | I just need somebody to do, like, five, 10 minutes? | 我需要一个人来表演五到十分钟 |
| [21:26] | – If you could? – Ohh, I just ordered hummus. | -你可以吗 -我刚点了鹰嘴豆泥 |
| [21:28] | I’m so sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [21:29] | Uh, it– I don’t know if it makes a difference, | 我不知道这会不会让你改主意 |
| [21:31] | it’s a– it’s a benefit. | 这个表演是一场义演 |
| [21:33] | Wayne Federman, do you know him? | 韦恩·费德曼 你认识他吗 |
| [21:34] | He– He’s– | 他 他 |
| [21:35] | He has cancer, and um, Ooh… | 他得了癌症 |
| [21:37] | all the money’s going to his bills. It’s a really good crowd. | 所有的收入都会用于他的治疗 观众都很热情 |
| [21:42] | – Like, pheneom– – Okay, okay. I’ll do 10. | -气氛真的… -好的 我表演十分钟 |
| [21:44] | – Okay? – Yeah. | -好吗 -好的 |
| [21:47] | So, if Artie’s not there, by the time you’re done, | 如果阿迪没来的话 你结束了的时候 |
| [21:49] | I’ll just point to who’s next, | 我会指给你看下一个表演的是谁 |
| [21:50] | and– and you can bring them up, if that’s okay. | 如果可以的话 你就提一下他们 |
| [21:52] | Okay, so now you want me to host, too? | 好的 所以现在你想要我顺便也主持一下 |
| [21:54] | No, just, like, tag team. | 不 只是互相配合一下 |
| [21:55] | I don’t tag team. | 我不做这种配合 |
| [21:56] | I am legally married to another woman, | 我跟另一个女人合法结婚了 |
| [21:59] | but it’s fine, ’cause we’re both feminine-looking. | 但没事 我们看起来都很女性化的 |
| [22:02] | But she’s really hot. | 她很性感 |
| [22:03] | You would jerk off to her, she’s really hot. | 你会对着她打飞机的 她真的很性感 |
| [22:06] | I guess we look alike. ‘Cause we both have long, curly hair. | 我猜是因为我们很像 都留着长卷发 |
| [22:09] | People ask if we’re sisters. That’s a big question. | 很多人问我们是不是姐妹 这是个大问题 |
| [22:12] | “Are you guys sisters?” I’m like, if sisters finger each other | “你们是姐妹吗” 哪家姐妹会在”家得宝” |
| [22:14] | in Home Depot…” | 互相手淫的… |
| [22:16] | I remember when we were getting married, | 我还记得我们结婚的时候 |
| [22:18] | I’m Jewish and she’s not, so I’m chosen… | 我是犹太人而她不是 所以我比较高贵 |
| [22:21] | and my parents didn’t care that I was marrying a woman. | 我父母不在意我跟一个女人结婚了 |
| [22:24] | That’s the great part, they could care less. | 这点很棒 他们不介意 |
| [22:26] | You know what they cared about? | 你们知道他们介意的是什么吗 |
| [22:27] | That she wasn’t Jewish, isn’t that amazing? | 她不是犹太人 是不是很让人吃惊 |
| [22:29] | Anyone who’s a Jew in the crowd | 如果你们中有犹太人的话 |
| [22:30] | is gonna understand that. | 会理解这点的 |
| [22:32] | So they started calling me, | 所以他们开始叨叨我 |
| [22:33] | “Can you just not serve pork at the wedding?” | 你可以在婚礼菜单上不加猪肉吗 |
| [22:35] | Do you mind just not serving pork? | 你介意不加猪肉吗 |
| [22:37] | I’m like, “That’s what you’re upset I’m eating?” | 我回答说 你们是在为我吃的东西感到沮丧吗 |
| [22:41] | Yeah, this is Artie, leave a message. | 我是阿迪 请留言 |
| [22:52] | It’s a benefit, Artie’s running late, | 有场义演 阿迪来晚了 |
| [22:54] | I just need somebody to do, like, 15? | 我需要一个人来表演15分钟左右 |
| [22:56] | Come on, man. | 来吧 哥们 |
| [22:58] | Ready? Come on! | 准备好了吗 快来 |
| [23:00] | Hey, I don’t run to spots. | 我不想跑去现场 |
| [23:02] | – Come on, man! – No! | -快来 -不 |
| [23:04] | Thank you! | 谢谢大家 |
| [23:07] | Let’s hear it for Jessica Kirson, everybody! | 大家把掌声献给杰西卡·科森 |
| [23:15] | Um… all right, we have, uh, we more show. | 好了 表演还没有结束 |
| [23:17] | You guys feeling good? | 大家觉得开心吗 |
| [23:20] | Uh, Artie is, uh, he’s– he’s in the building, | 阿迪 他…已经在这了 |
| [23:22] | I’ve been told– I– I believe he’s very close, | 他刚刚跟我说…很快就会到 |
| [23:24] | but we have another– a pop-in-er, you guys excited… | 下面还有位演员 你们一定会喜欢他的 |
| [23:27] | to see… | 表演 |
| [23:29] | Let’s start clapping right now, uh, | 让我们掌声欢迎 |
| [23:31] | for a friend of the show, it’s Greer Barnes, everybody. | 这个朋友 格里尔·巴尔内斯 |
| [23:33] | It’s Greer Barnes! | 格里尔·巴尔内斯 |
| [23:36] | If I was a white woman, I would rob black dudes. | 如果我是一个白人女性 我会抢劫黑人 |
| [23:42] | I’d walk up to black dudes and be, like, | 我会朝黑人走过去 然后说 |
| [23:43] | “Hi, my name is Sarah, give me your wallet.” | 我叫萨拉 把你的钱包给我 |
| [23:49] | “Sarah? That’s my grandmama name.” | 萨拉 那是我奶奶的名字 |
| [23:50] | “Give me your wallet or I’m gonna scream.” | 给我钱包 不然我要尖叫了 |
| [23:52] | Here, Sarah.” | 给你 萨拉 |
| [23:54] | Please, it’s– it’s a benefit. | 拜托了 这是场义演 |
| [23:56] | You want me to close a benefit, which means, | 你想让我来为义演做结尾 这就意味着 |
| [23:58] | I gotta do well, which means… I gotta try. | 我得做得很好 也意味着我得努力尝试 |
| [24:01] | I– I– I just need somebody to close. | 我只是想找个人来做结尾 |
| [24:03] | Please, I– I’ve been running back and forth, I need 20 minutes– | 拜托 我一直在忙活着 我需要20分钟 |
| [24:05] | Yeah, I’ll do it. | 好的 我会去的 |
| [24:07] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [24:07] | What am I, a dick? Of course. | 当然 我又不是个混蛋 |
| [24:09] | Oh my God. You’re really helping me out. | 天啊 你真的帮了我大忙 |
| [24:11] | Yeah, all right, all right. | 好了 好了 |
| [24:13] | Relax… you’re sweatin’ like an informant. | 放松点 你满头大汗像刚告了密似的 |
| [24:16] | Can– Can we go? | 我们…可以走了吗 |
| [24:18] | Yeah, let me just finish this. | 等我把这个吃完 |
| [24:19] | I don’t– I don’t have | 已经 已经没有 |
| [24:20] | “Lemme just finish this” Kinda time. | “等我把这个吃完”的时间了 |
| [24:24] | I got two kids, 14 and 16 years old. | 我有两个孩子 一个14一个16 |
| [24:27] | We sit around after dinner sometimes. | 我们有时会在晚饭后坐在一起 |
| [24:29] | We play this game called, “Hey, Let’s All Take a Shit on Dad.” | 玩一个叫做”咱们一起怼爸爸”的游戏 |
| [24:33] | Let’s all talk about what a nerd Dad is. | 咱们一起聊聊爸爸这个呆子吧 |
| [24:36] | “Oh, Dad, you’re so out of it.” | “爸 你太囧了” |
| [24:38] | “Dad, you don’t get it.” “Dad you don’t know how to dial–“ | “爸 你不懂” “爸 你不会” |
| [24:41] | It’s like, “Hey! You don’t know me, motherfucker!” | 我就想”你们又不了解我 小王八蛋” |
| [24:47] | You don’t know who I was. | 你们不知道我以前什么样 |
| [24:49] | I used to be very cool. | 我以前也很酷 |
| [24:52] | You know when I stopped being cool? | 你们知道我什么时候就不酷了吗 |
| [24:54] | When you two assholes were born. | 你们两个小混蛋出生的时候 |
| [24:57] | Before that, very cool. Way cooler | 在那之前 特别酷 酷到 |
| [24:59] | than you will ever be. | 你们永远也比不上 |
| [25:02] | You know why you won’t be as cool as I was? | 知道为什么你们不会像我一样酷吗 |
| [25:04] | ‘Cause you’re not being raised by an abusive, | 因为你们的父亲没有滥用暴力 |
| [25:06] | alcoholic parent, that’s why. | 酗酒成性 这就是原因 |
| [25:10] | And that can change. | 以后怎样还不一定呢 |
| [25:13] | Thank you very much. | 非常感谢 |
| [25:14] | You guys were great! Thanks a lot! | 你们太棒了 谢谢 |
| [25:20] | Greg Fitzsimmons, everybody, | 格雷格·菲茨西蒙斯 各位 |
| [25:21] | Greg Fitzsimmons! | 格雷格·菲茨西蒙斯 |
| [25:23] | Wasn’t that great? | 太精彩了 |
| [25:24] | And how about a round of applause, that was a great show. | 再来鼓鼓掌吧 真是一场精彩的表演 |
| [25:26] | Wasn’t that a great show? | 是不是很精彩 |
| [25:28] | Uh… unfortunately, Artie did not make it, um… | 很遗憾 阿迪没能到现场 |
| [25:32] | But I do think… | 但是我觉得 |
| [25:35] | Um, but, but, but, um… your– you didn’t know this, | 但是 你们的 你们不知道 |
| [25:39] | your– your ticket actually– all of your ticket, um, money | 你们的票 所有的票钱 |
| [25:43] | went to a wonderful cause, um, Wayne Federman. | 都将用于善行 帮助韦恩·费德曼 |
| [25:46] | And he, uh– Hodgkins. Hodgkins, and, um, you know, | 他 霍奇金病 霍奇金病 |
| [25:50] | so your money is gonna help | 你们的钱会帮助他 |
| [25:51] | pay some of his medical bills. | 解决一部分医疗费用 |
| [25:53] | Who cares? We want Artie! | 无所谓 我们要阿迪 |
| [25:55] | Again, we’ve run out of time, there’s another show… | 再说一次 没时间了 后面还有表演 |
| [25:58] | So I– I– I apologize, Artie is not here, | 我 我很抱歉 阿迪不在 |
| [26:01] | but thank you for helping Wayne. | 但谢谢你们帮助韦恩 |
| [26:03] | Fuck Wayne Federman! | 去他妈的韦恩·费德曼 |
| [26:07] | Wayne Federman… has Hodgkins. | 韦恩·费德曼得了霍奇金病 |
| [26:11] | Sorry, um… sorry about this. | 抱歉 非常抱歉 |
| [26:31] | What the fuck? | 我操 |
| [26:39] | Artie… | 阿迪 |
| [26:40] | Hey, what’s going on? | 怎么了 |
| [26:42] | What’s going on? Where were you? | 怎么了 你去哪儿了 |
| [26:44] | You– you m– you missed the show. | 你 你 你错过了演出 |
| [26:46] | You know what, man? I’m sorry, I had some stuff going on, okay? | 对不起 我刚才有事 |
| [26:48] | I– I had to do some things, I apologize, all right? I’m sorry. | 我 我有事要做 抱歉 对不起 |
| [26:51] | Some stuff, really? Some stuff going on? | 有事 真的吗 有事要做 |
| [26:53] | What was going on? | 什么事 |
| [26:54] | You kn– You know– I don’t know, somethin’ was going on. | 我不知道 就是有事 |
| [26:56] | You gotta stay out– | 你别管 |
| [26:57] | get out– get outta my ass about this, all right? | 别管 你他妈别管我的事 |
| [26:59] | I’ve been running back and forth to get people to cover for you. | 我跑来跑去地找人替你上场 |
| [27:02] | Oh, I’m all broken up about that. | 我的心都碎了 |
| [27:04] | Hones– you know, I’m gonna be honest about this. | 说实 说实话吧 |
| [27:06] | I guess I’m a piece o’shit. All right? | 我猜我就是个混蛋 |
| [27:08] | You– you just fucked Wayne, | 你 你搞了韦恩 |
| [27:09] | you just fucked me, you fucked the show… | 搞了我 搞砸了演出 |
| [27:11] | You know what? Okay, I’m done with this. | 我受够了 |
| [27:13] | I’m a piece o’shit. Let’s just leave it at that. | 我就是个混蛋 不要再争了 |
| [27:15] | – I was out scoring. I was out tryin’ to buy drugs, okay? – What? | -我去搞货了 出去买毒品 -什么 |
| [27:18] | Yeah, that’s what I was doin’, all right? | 我刚才就是去干这个 |
| [27:19] | What h– What happened to turning it around? | 不是说要有好转吗 |
| [27:20] | We’re turning things around? | 我们要让情况好转 |
| [27:21] | You are un-fucking- believable, man. | 你他妈简直不可理喻 |
| [27:23] | You are s– are you stupid or naive? Or just ignorant? | 你太 你是傻是天真 还是真的无知 |
| [27:26] | I don’t know where the fuck you came from. Turning it around? | 我都不知道你他妈是从哪儿来的 好转 |
| [27:29] | Do you see who’s talking to you, man? I’m a heroin addict. | 你知道自己在和谁说话吗 我吸海洛因成瘾 |
| [27:32] | I bullshit people, that’s what I do. | 我满口胡话 我就是这样的人 |
| [27:33] | I’m not gonna turn it around, ever. | 我不会有好转的 永远不会 |
| [27:35] | I thought we were moving in the right direction. | 我以为我们在向正确的方向努力 |
| [27:37] | What– what happened– to moving–? | 不 不是说 要向 |
| [27:39] | Moving in the right direction? | 向正确的方向努力 |
| [27:40] | Yes, I thought we were making some changes? | 我以为情况已经有所改善了 |
| [27:42] | Were you with me the other night | 那天晚上你和我在一起吗 |
| [27:43] | when I was sweating from withdrawals | 我因为戒毒满身大汗 |
| [27:44] | and I go cop at four a.m.? | 凌晨四点去买毒品 |
| [27:45] | Were you with me that night? | 那天晚上你和我在一起吗 |
| [27:46] | Were you movin’ in the right direction with me that night? | 那天你和我一起在向正确的方向努力吗 |
| [27:49] | No, you weren’t. So I had to go do | 没有 所以我该怎么活 |
| [27:51] | what I have to do. And you do whatever you do. | 怎么活 你管好自己就好 |
| [27:52] | Artie, I know you’re struggling. I believe in you. | 我知道你在努力 我相信你 |
| [27:55] | Um, struggling– struggling aint’ the word, man. | 努力 努力不是重点 |
| [27:56] | Struggling ain’t the word. This is a physical thing, | 努力不是重点 这是生理问题 |
| [27:59] | it’s not just, uh, an emotional thing, | 不只是心理问题 |
| [28:00] | it’s physical, getting off heroin. | 戒掉海洛因是生理问题 |
| [28:02] | – I know. – It’s physical– if I could go back, | -我知道 -是生理 如果可以回去 |
| [28:04] | honestly, I wish I could go back, | 说真的 真希望我能回到 |
| [28:06] | when a–a younger Artie did heroin for the first time | 年轻的阿迪第一次吸海洛因的时候 |
| [28:09] | in a fucking hotel room on the– on the road. | 当时在路上一个旅馆房间里 |
| [28:12] | And I wish I could tackle that guy. | 希望我能把那家伙扭倒 |
| [28:14] | I– literally, I wish I could tackle him, and stop him | 我真的希望能把他扭倒 阻止他 |
| [28:16] | from doing it. But… it’s over. | 吸毒 但是都完了 |
| [28:19] | It’s just over. | 一切都完了 |
| [28:22] | Look, you have an opportunity, okay? | 你还有机会 |
| [28:25] | You’ve been handed this life. | 你的生命是别人给的 |
| [28:26] | Don’t you owe it to the people that… love you? | 难道你不欠那些爱你的人吗 |
| [28:29] | – Oh my God, you s– – Don’t you owe it to your– your mom? | -天啊 你 -你不欠你 你妈 |
| [28:32] | – Your dad? – Honestly, I– I guess– | -你爸吗 -我 我猜 |
| [28:34] | I guess maybe I had– I had it wrong. | 我猜我可能错了 |
| [28:35] | Maybe you do care a little too much. | 可能你确实关心得太多了 |
| [28:37] | Honestly, maybe it’s kinda creepy that you care too much. | 说实话 你管这么多让人觉得有点诡异 |
| [28:39] | – Come on, man… – And bringing up my mother and my fucking dad, | -拜托 -还他妈提起我妈和我爸 |
| [28:42] | you’re bringing up dead relatives now. | 你提起我死去的亲人 |
| [28:43] | Honestly? That’s fucked up. | 开玩笑呢 太不像话了 |
| [28:44] | You know what? Fuck you, Pete. | 操你妈 皮特 |
| [28:46] | Fuck you. I don’t need this shit from you… | 操你妈 我不需要听你放狗屁 |
| [28:49] | Honestly, just get the fuck away from me. | 真的 你他妈给我滚 |
| [28:51] | – Can we just–? – Get the fuck away from me. | -我们能不能 -你他妈给我滚 |
| [28:53] | – Let’s just– – Get the fuck away from me. | -我们 -你他妈给我滚 |
| [28:54] | – What– Let’s– – I’ll fucking lay you out. | -什么 我们 -我他妈打死你 |
| [28:56] | Okay? I’ll fucking lay you out. | 我他妈打死你 |
| [28:59] | Go fucking do your fruity little comedy. | 滚回去说你的低级相声吧 |
| [29:03] | Piece o’shit. | 混蛋 |
| [29:17] | Try as hard as you can not to do that again. | 你们无论如何都不要再这样做了 |
| [29:22] | Uh, is anyone else having the time of their life? | 大家是不是都和我一样很尽兴 |
| [29:28] | I’m a gambler and that’s why I dress like this. | 我赌博 所以我穿成这样 |
| [29:30] | I– I, uh, I’m a degenerate gambler. | 我 我是个堕落的赌徒 |
| [29:32] | I’ve been in show business for 30 years, I’m wearin’ | 我进入娱乐业30年了 1981年我穿 |
| [29:34] | the same jacket I had on at a Rush concert in 1981. | 这件夹克去听了”激流乐队”的演唱会 |
| [29:39] | I don’t know how to help this guy. | 我不知道该怎么帮他了 |
| [29:40] | I– I– I bet on sports that I know nothing about, | 我 我赌自己不了解的体育项目 |
| [29:42] | like the NBA. The NBA are a bunch of hypocrites. | 比如NBA NBA就是一群伪君子 |
| [29:45] | I don’t think you can help him. | 我觉得你帮不了他 |
| [29:47] | I’ve been in the program a lotta years and… | 我参加戒毒项目很多年了 |
| [29:50] | I can tell you you can’t make this choice for him. | 告诉你 你无法替他做出选择 |
| [29:53] | He’s not ready to stop. | 他还没做好停下的准备 |
| [29:56] | Eli Manning and Peyton Manning have a brother, | 伊莱·曼宁和佩顿·曼宁有个兄弟 |
| [29:56] | 伊莱 佩顿都是橄榄球明星 库珀后来因健康问题放弃了橄榄球职业 | |
| [29:58] | Cooper Manning, okay? | 库珀·曼宁 |
| [29:59] | Cooper Manning sucks at quarterback and he sells insurance. | 库珀·曼宁四分卫打得很烂 还卖保险 |
| [30:04] | That’s a rough Thanksgiving for Cooper. | 那年感恩节库珀过得不轻松 |
| [30:06] | You father gets drunk and he goes “Cooper, | 你爸喝醉以后会说 “库珀 |
| [30:07] | can you pass the gravy? Can you pass anything?” | 能不能把肉汁传过来 你会传什么” |
| [30:11] | It’s a good time. This is what I do for a living. | 今天很愉快 我可是靠这个吃饭的 |