| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Shirley, did you ever date Roger Ebert? | 雪瑞 你和罗杰·埃伯特约过会吗 |
| [00:05] | – Excuse me? – Nothing. | -你说什么 -没事 |
| [00:08] | Britta, did you ever take pictures of your feet | 布雷塔 你有没有拍过自己的脚 |
| [00:09] | and post them on the internet for money? | 然后传到网上来赚钱 |
| [00:10] | Sha-ha! No. | 切 木有 |
| [00:13] | Guys, this history final is going to be killer. | 同学们 这次历史课期末考试会很难 |
| [00:15] | We have to study. | 我们得好好学 |
| [00:16] | It’s no fair professor Cornwallis | 康沃利斯教授又变得这么死板 |
| [00:18] | turned all hard-assed again. | 真不公平 |
| [00:19] | Lucky Pierce. | 皮尔斯真走运 |
| [00:20] | Donating his kidney to Gilbert to get out of it. | 捐了个肾给吉尔伯特 然后就脱离苦海了 |
| [00:22] | I never thought he’d be that generous. | 我从没想过他会那么大方 |
| [00:25] | Although, he did seem disappointed | 不过 他似乎挺失望 |
| [00:26] | that the operation didn’t involve sleeping with a Russian woman, | 因为手术不包括上俄罗斯妹子 |
| [00:28] | then waking up in a bathtub full of ice. | 醒来后躺在满是冰块的浴缸里 |
| [00:30] | Guys! | 同学们 |
| [00:30] | History! | 历史 |
| [00:31] | I am studying history. | 我在学习历史 |
| [00:32] | I’m studying our history. | 我在学习我们的历史 |
| [00:33] | – Abed! – Nobody bite. | -阿布蒂 -都闭嘴 |
| [00:36] | We agreed no biting. | 我们说好了不准闲聊 |
| [00:37] | But, Jeff, it’s a graduation gift. | 但是 杰夫 这可是毕业礼物 |
| [00:38] | You see, on the surface we seem like just a group of people | 表面上我们只是一群有着不同人生背景 |
| [00:40] | from diverse backgrounds who have become unlikely friends. | 不太可能成为朋友的人 |
| [00:42] | But according to my research, | 但根据我的研究 |
| [00:44] | our paths have crossed many times. | 我们有过很多交集 |
| [00:46] | We were destined to meet. | 我们注定要遇见彼此 |
| [00:47] | Like a team of superheroes. | 就像是超级英雄大组队 |
| [00:49] | This is our origin story. | 而这就是我们的缘起故事 |
| [00:51] | And here…We…Go. | 又…来…了 |
| [00:53] | Abed, we don’t have origin stories. | 阿布蒂 我们没有什么缘起故事 |
| [00:55] | We have lives. | 我们有正经日子过 |
| [00:56] | Well, at least… | 至少 |
| [01:00] | Yep, just me. | 就我一个人有 |
| [01:02] | So you’re saying we’re all connected | 所以你是说我们之间的联系 |
| [01:04] | like the classic french film trilogy | 就像经典的法国电影三部曲 |
| [01:05] | Bleu, Blanc, Rouge? | 《蓝》《白》《红》一样吗 |
| [01:07] | No, like something more accessible. | 不 比那个更容易 |
| [01:08] | Like Unbreakable. | 就像《惊心动魄》 |
| [01:10] | Abed, I know it’s disappointing to you, | 阿布蒂 我知道这会让你失望 |
| [01:12] | but we’re not superheroes. | 但我们都不是超级英雄 |
| [01:13] | This is the real world, not some comic book adventure. | 这是现实世界 而不是某本漫画书里的冒险 |
| [01:16] | I’ve done it. I’ve infiltrated the school. | 我做到了 我已经成功渗入了学校 |
| [01:19] | I’ve learned its secrets. | 我发现了其中的秘密 |
| [01:21] | I’ve gained everyone’s trust. | 我取得了所有人的信任 |
| [01:23] | And now, on the anniversary of my empire’s destruction, | 现在 在我帝国覆灭一周年之际 |
| [01:26] | Vengeance will be mine. | 静待我的逆袭吧 |
| [01:27] | No, vengeance will be ours. | 不 是我俩的逆袭 |
| [01:31] | Okay, can you stop that? It really creeps me out. | 你能别这样了吗 吓死人了 |
| [01:35] | I’m sorry. Just really love this thing. | 抱歉 只是我真的很喜欢这玩意 |
| [01:37] | Skymall. | 天猫 |
| [02:07] | I’ve been doing exhaustive research | 我一直努力调查清楚 |
| [02:08] | into origin of our lives. | 我们各自人生的缘起 |
| [02:09] | Once I find the last one or two missing pieces, | 只要找到最后一两块遗失的碎片 |
| [02:10] | I’ll have conclusive proof that we were all destined to meet. | 我就有证据证明 我们注定要遇见彼此 |
| [02:14] | This is how we’re all connected. | 这是我们怎样和彼此产生联系的 |
| [02:15] | I call it the crazy quilt of destiny | 我称之为“命运碎片拼图” |
| [02:16] | mainly because the loom of fate was already taken. | 主要是因为”命运织布机”已经被用过了 |
| [02:18] | Really? | 嘛 |
| [02:19] | Look.I don’t care what tricks or nonsense you have | 听着 我不管你剪贴簿里有什么花样 |
| [02:21] | in your scrapbook, Martha Stewart, | 或鬼东西 玛莎·斯图尔特[美国富商] |
| [02:23] | But there’s no way you’re gonna get me to believe | 但你绝不可能让我相信 |
| [02:24] | there’s some outside force controlling my destiny. | 会有某股外力控制着我的命运 |
| [02:27] | And I think you used that particular phrasing | 我觉得你用那种独特的措辞 |
| [02:29] | because I know you’ve seen Star Wars. | 是因为我知道你看过《星球大战》 |
| [02:31] | Everybody’s seen Star Wars. | 大家都看过《星球大战》 |
| [02:33] | Yes, but you first saw it when it was re-released in 1982 | 没错 但你第一次看是在1982年 |
| [02:35] | at the Greendale Palladium at 4:15 in the afternoon. | 下午4点15在格林德尔女神影院的重播 |
| [02:37] | And it was the best time you ever had with your father. | 那是你和你爸度过的最美好的时光 |
| [02:39] | How did you know that? | 你是怎么知道的 |
| [02:41] | You keep this ticket stub in your wallet. | 你在钱包里留着这张票根 |
| [02:42] | Abed, you can’t… | 阿布蒂 你不可以 |
| [02:44] | Give it back! | 快还我 |
| [02:46] | Our story begins in the distant mists of a lost era: | 我们的故事发生在迷失时代的遥远迷雾中 |
| [02:49] | 2008. | 2008年 |
| [02:54] | I know you’re all wondering how I do it. | 我知道你们都想知道我是怎么做到的 |
| [02:56] | How do I balance straight As, extracurriculars, | 我是怎样做到三好学生 课外活动 |
| [02:59] | and Israeli folk dancing every Friday night? | 每周五晚的以色列民族舞 |
| [03:03] | It’s a simple matter of organization, | 这不过是简单的组织能力 |
| [03:08] | dedication, and… | 奉献和 |
| [03:19] | and we’re back! | 继续来 |
| [03:20] | Then I drink your milkshake. | 那我就喝你的奶昔 |
| [03:23] | Ah, that will never get old. | 这句话永不过时 |
| [03:26] | You guys gotta see my Juno. | 记得去看我在朱诺网的个人主页 |
| [03:28] | Hey, Troy. | 你好 特洛伊 |
| [03:29] | So I heard you weren’t doing that great in Algebra, | 我听说你代数没考好 |
| [03:32] | and you know, if you need a tutor for math, | 如果你想找人辅导数学 |
| [03:35] | I’d be happy to help. | 我很乐意帮忙 |
| [03:36] | I’m being recruited by colleges to play football. | 已经有大学录我去打橄榄球了 |
| [03:38] | I don’t have time for math. | 我没空学数学 |
| [03:40] | The only thing that matters to me are statistics. | 对我来说 只有统计数据才有意义 |
| [03:43] | That’s also a type of math. | 那也算数学的一种 |
| [03:46] | But we already knew I went to high school with Troy, | 但我们都知道我和特洛伊读同一所高中 |
| [03:49] | and it’s not like he even remembered I existed. | 但他对我根本没印象 |
| [03:51] | Yeah, I don’t remember her at all. | 对 我完全不记得她 |
| [03:53] | We should probably drop this. | 我们还是换个话题吧 |
| [03:54] | Wait, where’s Pierce on this chart? | 等等 皮尔斯在表上的什么地方 |
| [03:55] | His contribution to the group has already been noted. | 他对学习小组的贡献已经为人所知 |
| [03:57] | Pierce Hawthorne. Fixture at Greendale. Unavoidable. | 皮尔斯·霍桑 格林德尔NPC 避无可避 |
| [04:00] | – Hey, is that a sad face? – I wouldn’t know. | -这是个哭脸吗 -我不知道 |
| [04:02] | You have to look deeper. Here. Take this, for example. | 你得继续看 给 比如这个 |
| [04:04] | It’s a receipt I found in the back | 这是我在感恩节时 |
| [04:05] | of Shirley’s sock drawer on Thanksgiving. | 在雪瑞放袜子的抽屉后面发现的收据 |
| [04:06] | You went in my bedroom for some comic book thing? | 你为了漫画书什么的还进过我房间 |
| [04:08] | Oh, no, my feet were cold. Ah, here. | 不 当时是我脚太冷 给 |
| [04:11] | You should probably wash those. | 你最好把它们洗洗 |
| [04:12] | Discovering the receipt was dumb luck, | 发现收据纯属运气 |
| [04:13] | but it proves that we were at the mall | 但这证明我们同一天 |
| [04:15] | on the exact same day. | 都去过商场 |
| [04:17] | Shirley, do remember what you bought for $54 | 雪瑞 你还记得你在爱情小屋 |
| [04:18] | at the love hut? | 花了54刀吗 |
| [04:19] | What? Hmm? No. | 什么 不记得 |
| [04:22] | So excited about tonight, honey. | 我对今晚很兴奋 亲爱的 |
| [04:24] | Uh-huh. It’s been too long | 对 我们好久没有 |
| [04:26] | since we had adult time without the kids. | 抛下孩子 自己享受成人时光了 |
| [04:31] | Well, I may have an anniversary surprise for you too. | 我也给你准备了一份周年纪念惊喜 |
| [04:34] | Well, I’m in public, but, uh… | 我在公共场合 不过 |
| [04:36] | You know you gonna get it, right? | 你懂的吧 |
| [04:37] | You gonna get it! | 你懂的 |
| [04:43] | So we were at the mall on the same day. | 这么说我们那天都在商场 |
| [04:45] | Unbreakable. | 《惊心动魄》 |
| [04:48] | Mail call. | 送信了 |
| [04:50] | That’s all right. Won’t be needing it today. | 没关系的 今天不用了 |
| [04:52] | But Kevin always takes the mail. | 但每次都是凯文送信 |
| [04:54] | Well, today’s mail’s kind of important. | 今天的信件很重要 |
| [04:56] | It’s the day that I send in Greendale’s lease renewal. | 今天是我递交格林德尔续租文件的日子 |
| [04:59] | Lease re-new-al? | 续租 |
| [05:01] | It’s a critical document. | 是很重要的文件 |
| [05:02] | See, Greendale sublets our land from the Arapaho nation. | 格林德尔是阿拉巴霍族转租过来的 |
| [05:05] | Miss a renewal and faster than you can say “Wounded knee,” | 要是忘记续租 一眨眼 |
| [05:08] | we turn into a casino and midsize concert venue. | 我们这里就要变成赌场或者中型音乐厅了 |
| [05:12] | So you only trust me with busywork? | 所以你认为我只能发发琐碎邮件咯 |
| [05:15] | Oh, no, that’s not… | 不是 我不是这个意思 |
| [05:18] | Kevin, ah… | 凯文 |
| [05:20] | I cannot resist those puppy dog eyes. | 这种可怜兮兮的眼神让我如何招架 |
| [05:23] | Here. | 给 |
| [05:24] | Ah! Now, I have time to hit the seamstress. | 正好腾出空去女装店逛逛 |
| [05:31] | Guess all I have to say is “Ladies and gentlemen, | 既然这样 女士们先生们 |
| [05:34] | Greendale Resort and Casino presents Steve Winwood.” | 格林德尔赌场度假村恭请史蒂夫·温伍德上场 |
| [05:38] | Okay, I just need to find the one last smoking gun, | 好的 就差最后一环 |
| [05:40] | and I think this might be it. | 马上就完工了 |
| [05:41] | I found it in a copy of the Greendale Communist Worker. | 我从一份《格林德尔共产工人报》上剪下来的 |
| [05:44] | Look familiar? | 眼熟吗 |
| [05:45] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [05:47] | This is me and my anarchist collective at the courthouse. | 这是我跟我的无政府主义精英们在法庭里 |
| [05:50] | We called ourselves the an-her-chists. | 当时我们自称无政府娘子军 |
| [05:54] | Did you guys know that Jeff’s in that photo? | 你们有没有发现杰夫也在照片里 |
| [05:55] | What! | 什么 |
| [05:57] | Jeff. My man. | 杰夫 好小子 |
| [05:59] | Congrats on getting your case thrown out. | 恭喜你搞定案件 |
| [06:00] | Your argument was a masterpiece. | 辩词太有风范了 |
| [06:02] | I mean, it was definitely creative. | 很有创意 |
| [06:04] | Creative? | 才这个评价 |
| [06:05] | He convinced a judge to forgive five years back taxes | 他居然让法官相信你黑灯瞎火 |
| [06:07] | by getting him to agree | 下体猛蹭国旗 |
| [06:09] | that you humping an American flag to back in black | 不是跳脱衣舞而是搞什么非盈利表演 |
| [06:11] | was not stripping | 就这样 |
| [06:12] | but actually not-for-profit performance art. | 你五年没交税的事就一笔勾销了 |
| [06:17] | Blew me away. | 我折服了 |
| [06:18] | Come on, let’s go! | 快 跟上 |
| [06:19] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [06:20] | Thank you for defending a woman’s right | 感谢你代表女人辩出心声 |
| [06:22] | to use her body however she chooses. | 女人的身体自己做主 |
| [06:24] | I can honestly say that right is very important to me. | 说实话 你们这项权利对我很重要 |
| [06:29] | Excuse me, Mr. Winger, can we get a… | 不好意思 翁格先生 能跟我们说 |
| [06:30] | – You’re a hero. – Hi. | -你真是英雄 -你好 |
| [06:33] | Guys! | 伙计们 |
| [06:34] | We have got to capitalize on this momentum. | 一定要铭记这一刻 |
| [06:36] | It is time an-her-chists finally takes a stand | 现在我们无政府娘子军 |
| [06:38] | on animals rights. | 该向动物权益进发了 |
| [06:40] | There is a medical lab in an office building nearby. | 这附近一栋办公楼里有个医学实验室 |
| [06:43] | Next week, I say we break in there… | 要我说咱们下周就闯进去 |
| [06:44] | Actually, we were thinking this is our last hurrah. | 其实吧 我们干过这票就想金盆洗手了 |
| [06:46] | But this was our first hurrah. | 可这才是第一票而已 |
| [06:48] | – We’re just getting going. – Britta, we’re done. | -才刚起步 -布雷塔 我们玩够了 |
| [06:50] | I had a hamburger the other day, | 我前两天吃了一个汉堡 |
| [06:52] | and suddenly I’m not cold all the time. | 突然就感到周身不那么冷冰冰了 |
| [06:53] | Fine. Go. I don’t need you. | 行 走吧 没你们我照干 |
| [06:58] | What’s an anarchist to do without her organization? | 无政府主义者没了组织还能干啥啊 |
| [07:03] | Jeffrey, how could you? | 杰夫瑞 你怎么能这样 |
| [07:05] | Well, I was a really good lawyer. | 谁让我口才好呢 |
| [07:07] | Mysti is the stripper that Andre cheated on me with, | 咪咪就是那个跟安德烈搞婚外情的脱衣舞女 |
| [07:09] | and you defended her. | 你居然给她辩护 |
| [07:12] | Shirley, I… | 雪瑞 我 |
| [07:13] | If you hadn’t gotten that homewrecker off, | 要不是你把那个小三救出来 |
| [07:15] | Andre never would’ve met her. | 安德烈也不会碰到她 |
| [07:18] | Jeff ends Shirley’s marriage. | 杰夫终结了雪瑞的婚姻 |
| [07:20] | See? I told you we were always destined to meet. | 你们看 我就说是我们命运中注定相聚 |
| [07:25] | I knew Shirley and Jeff went to the same restaurant, | 我只知道雪瑞和杰夫去过同一家餐厅 |
| [07:27] | but I had no idea their paths crossed again, | 没想到你们还另有交锋 |
| [07:28] | This is good. This is really great. | 不错 很有意思 |
| [07:30] | We’re really filling in some plot holes here. | 这缺的一环又连上了 |
| [07:31] | This is good stuff. It’s really good. | 很好 太好了 |
| [07:33] | Have I missed something? | 怎么了 |
| [07:34] | These aren’t plot holes, Abed. This is my life. | 什么少一环多一环 你在说的是我的人生 |
| [07:36] | But this kinda connection | 但就是这一环一环 |
| [07:37] | only makes our origin story more compelling. | 更说明我们的缘分不浅 |
| [07:39] | Like how awesome it is | 多有意思啊 |
| [07:40] | when uncle Ben is murdered in Spider-man. | 就像《蜘蛛侠》里本叔叔被杀掉那个桥段 |
| [07:41] | My marriage almost ended. | 我的婚姻差点终结 |
| [07:43] | If it weren’t for Jeff, | 要不是杰夫 |
| [07:44] | that jezebel would’ve been in jail | 那个荡妇就应该在坐牢 |
| [07:45] | instead of between my Laura Ashley sheets. | 而不是在我的罗兰爱思床单上打滚 |
| [07:47] | Hey, this is not my fault. | 这关我什么事 |
| [07:49] | And by the way, the case didn’t work out too great for me either. | 再说了 那个案子也害我不浅 |
| [07:52] | It was supposed to make my career, | 本来应该让我的事业更上一层楼 |
| [07:54] | but it put a target on my back. | 结果却搞得我遭人暗算 |
| [08:00] | Michael Phelps, really? | 迈克尔·菲尔普斯 真的假的 |
| [08:02] | And it doesn’t affect his breathing? | 都不会影响他换气吗 |
| [08:03] | Nope. | 不会 |
| [08:04] | Mysti, can I talk to Jeff for a moment? | 咪咪 我跟杰夫单独聊一下 |
| [08:07] | I will go, uh, powder my nose. | 那我就去 上个厕所[又有吸粉的意思] |
| [08:11] | For real. | 真的是上厕所 |
| [08:14] | Listen. | 是这样 |
| [08:15] | There’s this rumor going around the firm | 事务所里出了一点谣言 |
| [08:17] | that you never received an undergraduate degree. | 说你没有本科学位证 |
| [08:19] | – That’s ridiculous. – I know. | -开什么玩笑 -我知道 |
| [08:21] | I mean, some jag is obviously jealous of your rising star. | 很显然是有人嫉妒你这颗新星了 |
| [08:25] | But the fact is, until this is settled, | 不过这件事情搞清楚以前 |
| [08:26] | the bar isn’t gonna let you practice. | 恐怕你不能执业了 |
| [08:32] | So you got caught in your own lie? | 你自己编的瞎话被人拆穿了 |
| [08:34] | I almost lost my family. | 跟我差点破裂的家庭相比 |
| [08:35] | How does your little tragedy even compare? | 这有什么可比性吗 |
| [08:37] | Because I had to go to school here. | 关键是害得我要来这念书 |
| [08:39] | Abed, do not write that down. | 阿布蒂 不许记下来 |
| [08:41] | It’s not like I made Andre cheat. | 又不是我让安德烈去偷腥的 |
| [08:43] | Well, I happen to think it’s cool that we’re all connected, | 我觉得大家互相有牵连挺好的 |
| [08:45] | even if some of it’s in bad ways. | 就算有时候牵扯得不那么愉快 |
| [08:47] | I mean, I’m finally willing to forgive Annie | 你看我连安妮毁掉我的高中生活 |
| [08:49] | for ruining high school. | 这种事我也放下了 |
| [08:50] | Wait, I ruined your time in high school? | 什么 我毁了你的高中生活 |
| [08:53] | Yeah, you did. | 千真万确 |
| [08:57] | – You guys doing keg stands? – Yeah! | -你们是在倒灌金汤吗 -对 |
| [08:59] | Anyone can do a keg stand. | 那玩意儿是个人都会 |
| [09:01] | I’m gonna do a keg flip. | 我来个筋斗灌金汤 |
| [09:03] | Hey, everybody, look at this. | 大家都看着哈 |
| [09:12] | My football knee! Why! | 我踢球的膝盖哟 为什么 |
| [09:15] | Can I have some corn nuts? | 给来点爆米花呗 |
| [09:15] | Wah! No! Nooooo! | 不要哇 不要 |
| [09:22] | That had nothing to do with me. | 那跟我有什么关系 |
| [09:23] | And you already admitted that you faked that injury | 而且你自己也承认了是假摔 |
| [09:25] | because you couldn’t take the pressure Of those football recruiters. | 因为你承受不了橄榄球特招的压力 |
| [09:28] | I faked my injury because of what you said to me. | 是因为你一席话我才假摔的 |
| [09:30] | Because of what I said? | 因为我的一席话 |
| [09:32] | You didn’t even remember that I went to school with you. | 你都不记得有我这个同学 |
| [09:34] | I may have lied about that too. | 那句是假话 |
| [09:40] | Hey, guys, it’s time to do senior class superlatives! | 伙计们 毕业班颁奖礼开始了 |
| [09:45] | Okay, the first award is “Most handsome.” | 第一个奖项是 最帅奖 |
| [09:48] | And the winner is… | 得主是 |
| [09:50] | Troy Barnes. | 特洛伊·巴恩斯 |
| [09:52] | Of course it is. | 猜也是 |
| [09:53] | “Most popular.” | 最受欢迎奖 |
| [09:55] | Troy Barnes. | 特洛伊·巴恩斯 |
| [09:56] | No! You guys are awesome. | 别这样 你们太好了 |
| [09:59] | “Best Smile.” | “最佳微笑” |
| [10:02] | Ha ha, gotta keep ’em white. | 牙白微笑才美 |
| [10:03] | “Best Moves.” “Best practical joker.” | “最佳舞姿” “最佳整蛊专家” |
| [10:07] | “Coolest Locker.” | “最酷储物柜” |
| [10:08] | And now, the last award of the night. | 现在 颁发今晚最后一个奖项 |
| [10:11] | “Most Likely to Succeed.” | “最有可能成功奖” |
| [10:13] | Okay, this has to go to me, | 这奖肯定是我的 |
| [10:15] | Because I am most likely to succeed. | 因为我最有可能成功 |
| [10:17] | It’s just a fact. You guys know. | 这是个事实 这人人都知道 |
| [10:18] | And the winner is… | 得奖者是 |
| [10:21] | Troy Barnes. | 特洛伊·巴恩斯 |
| [10:27] | You have got to be kidding me! | 没搞错吧 |
| [10:29] | Troy Barnes, most likely to succeed? | 特洛伊·巴恩斯 最有可能成功 |
| [10:32] | I’m the damn valedictorian and head of student council | 我是年级第一名 学生会主席 |
| [10:36] | and president of campus crusade for Christ. | 学园传道会主席 |
| [10:38] | And I’m Jewish! | 我还是犹太人 |
| [10:40] | And you are just some mindless robot. | 你不过是无脑的机器人 |
| [10:43] | You just go wherever they tell you to run. | 人家告诉你往哪你就往哪跑 |
| [10:47] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [10:49] | Do you go to my school? | 你在我的学校上学吗 |
| [11:01] | Pop! Pop! | 噼里啪啦砰 |
| [11:04] | Your words cut me more than hundreds of | 你中伤了我 伤害程度比 |
| [11:06] | non-tempered glass shards could. | 成百上千的非钢化玻璃碎片还深 |
| [11:08] | I had six different reconstructive surgeries. | 我做了六次整容手术 |
| [11:12] | I went through withdrawal. | 我经历了退学 |
| [11:14] | I had to smile when I didn’t feel like smiling. | 不想笑的时候我得挤出笑容 |
| [11:17] | That hurts my face. | 笑得脸疼 |
| [11:18] | Can we all just stop dredging up the past? | 我们能别关联过去了吗 |
| [11:20] | The only thing your fate web thing does | 你的命运网只做了一件事 |
| [11:22] | is point out how fragile our happiness is. | 那就是指出我们的快乐有多脆弱 |
| [11:25] | If only Jeff hadn’t defended that woman, | 如果杰夫没有为那女人辩护 |
| [11:27] | if only Andre hadn’t met her after I left the restaurant, | 如果安德烈没有在我离开餐馆后去见她 |
| [11:29] | if only I didn’t have to pick up my kids at the mall, I… | 如果我没去商场接孩子们 |
| [11:31] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [11:32] | When? Which mall? | 什么时候 哪家商场 |
| [11:38] | Oh, my God. | 老天 |
| [11:40] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [11:45] | What movie you guys gonna see? | 你们要看哪部电影 |
| [11:46] | The Phantom Menace. It’s kind of old. | 《星战前传1：魅影危机》 老片子 |
| [11:48] | And why do you wanna see it? | 你们为什么想看这部 |
| [11:49] | Because we like Star Wars. | 因为我们喜欢《星球大战》 |
| [11:51] | Okay, if you like Star Wars, | 如果你们喜欢《星球大战》 |
| [11:52] | why do you wanna murder it and urinate on its grave? | 为什么会想杀死它 然后在它坟墓上尿尿呢 |
| [11:55] | The prequels are terrible. | 前传非常坑爹 |
| [11:55] | I mean, seriously, wouldn’t Chewbacca, at some point, | 我是说 难道楚巴卡不会演着演着 |
| [11:57] | go, “Hey, Yoda, I know that guy”? | 冒出一句”尤达 我认识那家伙”吗 |
| [11:59] | He has double light sabers. | 他拿着双光剑 |
| [12:01] | That’s stupid. You’re both stupid. | 太蠢了 你们太蠢了 |
| [12:02] | Well, why are you here to see the movie? | 那你为什么要看这部电影呢 |
| [12:04] | I’m not. | 我不看 |
| [12:05] | I go wherever it plays to warn people. | 我四处在放映这片的地方警告别人 |
| [12:08] | You’ve been warned. | 我警告过你们了 |
| [12:12] | Stranger said what to him? | 陌生人跟他说了什么 |
| [12:15] | Okay, fine. I’ll come get you. | 好 我过去接你们 |
| [12:18] | I’m sorry, baby, I’ll be back as soon as I can. | 抱歉 宝贝 我去去就回 |
| [12:20] | Okay, just stand there, okay? | 站在那 别动 |
| [12:24] | This can’t be. | 不可能 |
| [12:26] | I don’t see why I have to go to a therapist. | 我搞不懂我为什么要看心理医生 |
| [12:27] | Because after that woman chewed them out for three hours, | 因为在那女人跟影院抱怨了三个小时后 |
| [12:30] | the theater got a restraining order against you. | 影院对你申请了禁令 |
| [12:33] | Yalla. | 进来吧 |
| [12:36] | Hey, doc. By the way, | 医生 顺便说一句 |
| [12:37] | Someone just stole your prescription pad. | 有人把你的处方本偷走了 |
| [12:42] | I’m trying to liberate you! | 我是想解放你 |
| [12:47] | You’re the crazy man at the mall! | 你是商场的疯子 |
| [12:49] | You’re the one who got me busted for drugs! | 我吸毒被捕都是因为你 |
| [12:52] | You were out there somewhere and you weren’t looking for me? | 你跟他们各自交集居然都没来找我 |
| [12:55] | In fairness, Annie, | 公平地讲 安妮 |
| [12:56] | running through a glass door might’ve been the drug tip-off. | 撞碎玻璃门 就是变相表明自己吸毒了 |
| [12:59] | All this time, I wondered what it was | 长久以来 我都在想 |
| [13:00] | that brought our group together. | 是什么使我们凑到一起 |
| [13:02] | But I forgot one thing all heroes need. | 但是我忘了所有英雄都需要的东西 |
| [13:04] | They need an enemy. | 他们需要一个敌人 |
| [13:05] | Batman has the Joker, | 蝙蝠侠有小丑 |
| [13:06] | The Justice League has the Legion of Doom, | 正义联盟有末日军团 |
| [13:08] | and this study group… has me. | 这个学习小组 有我 |
| [13:12] | I’m the supervillain. Why didn’t I see it before? | 我是超级反派 我怎么就没看出来呢 |
| [13:14] | I’m emotionless, logical, smarter than everybody else. | 我无情无义 极度理性 比所有人都聪明 |
| [13:16] | I tried sawing off Jeff’s arm. | 我试过锯掉杰夫的胳膊 |
| [13:18] | Why do you keep saying that? | 你怎么总这么说 |
| [13:20] | I should go. It’s not safe to be around me. | 我得走了 跟我待在一起不安全 |
| [13:21] | I’m just as bad. | 我也是坏人 |
| [13:22] | I couldn’t handle the monkey, | 我搞不定猴子 |
| [13:24] | so I traded it in for a glaucoma brownie, | 于是拿它换了大麻饼干 |
| [13:26] | even though I knew if it bit someone, | 尽管我知道如果它咬了人 |
| [13:28] | it would make them a teensy bit psychotic. | 会使人变得疯狂 |
| [13:31] | Britta’s right. | 布雷塔说的对 |
| [13:32] | We’ve all made some bad decisions. | 我们都干过错事 |
| [13:34] | And if you really wanna know who the villain is here, | 如果你真想知道坏人是谁 |
| [13:37] | it’s me. | 其实是我 |
| [13:43] | Yeesh, I didn’t think it was possible | 老天 我以为你身上不可能 |
| [13:45] | to put more glitter on. | 涂上更多的亮片了 |
| [13:46] | It’s coming off of you like Pig-pen. | 还不断从你身上往下掉 跟”小乒乓”似的 |
| [13:48] | Well, some people seem to like it. | 闪闪惹人爱啦 |
| [13:50] | This married guy just gave me his phone number. | 那个有妇之夫刚刚把电话号码给我了 |
| [13:53] | Can you believe his wife left him on their anniversary? | 他妻子在结婚周年纪念日那天抛弃了他哦 |
| [13:56] | You gonna call him? | 你会联系他吗 |
| [13:56] | I mean, he did just win a bunch of money. | 他刚赢了一笔钱 |
| [13:58] | I don’t know though. | 我不知道 |
| [13:59] | You don’t know what? You’re not married. | 你不知道 你又没结婚 |
| [14:01] | You gotta grab what you want in this life. | 生活嘛 想要什么就去拿 |
| [14:02] | That’s the way it works. | 这样才行 |
| [14:05] | Someone just took something important from me. | 有人刚刚夺走了我最重要的东西 |
| [14:07] | And you know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [14:09] | I admire him for it. | 我敬佩他 |
| [14:11] | All right, I mean, I guess I’ll go talk to him. | 好吧 我去跟他聊聊 |
| [14:13] | You do that. And I’m gonna go get | 去吧 我要去喝醉一场 |
| [14:15] | “Crap On Other People’s Lawns” drunk. | 醉到”在别人草坪上便便”那种程度 |
| [14:17] | To a memorable evening for both of us. | 以此纪念你我这难忘的夜晚 |
| [14:23] | Maybe you coincidentally affected some of us. | 也许你恰巧影响了我们 |
| [14:25] | But I actively endorsed pain. | 但是我启动了痛苦的齿轮 |
| [14:28] | I was the bad guy, and… | 我才是那个坏人 而 |
| [14:31] | I’d like to think I’m not that guy anymore. | 但我想我现在已经洗心革面了 |
| [14:34] | Also, and I hate to bring this up, | 我还有一件不堪回首的记忆 |
| [14:37] | you did once make me pee myself. | 你有次让我尿裤子了 |
| [14:39] | Well, I guess we’re even then. | 我们扯平了 |
| [14:42] | I might finish studying at home. | 我回家学习去了 |
| [14:53] | Just ten minutes ago, | 十分钟前 |
| [14:54] | I would’ve been so excited about that peeing thing. | 我会为尿裤子那事激动万分的 |
| [15:11] | I want to make a prequel, and I ruined for everyone. | 我想拍部前传 结果把大家都惹生气了 |
| [15:14] | I guess it could happen to anyone. | 我想这事可能发生在任何人身上 |
| [15:16] | I should probably write George Lucas a note of apology. | 我应该给乔治·卢卡斯写封道歉信 |
| [15:18] | Okay, let’s not get crazy. | 没这么严重 |
| [15:21] | And you didn’t ruin anything. | 你什么都没毁掉 |
| [15:23] | May I sit here? | 我能坐这里吗 |
| [15:26] | Shirley, what are you doing here? | 雪瑞 你来这干吗 |
| [15:27] | Oh, just wanted some yogurt. | 想喝酸奶了 |
| [15:30] | And I do know you’re not that person anymore. | 而且我也知道你早已洗心革面了 |
| [15:33] | Are you sure? ‘Cause I was awfully good at it. | 你确定 因为我特擅长伪装 |
| [15:36] | Well, we all do bad things every now and again. | 大家都是善恶双生嘛 |
| [15:37] | I mean, I put a stripper’s head through a jukebox. | 我还把一个脱衣舞娘的脑袋摁到点唱机里了呢 |
| [15:41] | What are you guys doing here? | 你们怎么在这儿 |
| [15:46] | I guess we all really wanted yogurt. | 我想是大家都很想喝酸奶吧 |
| [15:48] | You know what’s weird? | 知道最诡异的是什么吗 |
| [15:50] | This is where I first decided to go to Greendale. | 我就是在这里决定要来格林德尔上学的 |
| [15:52] | Wait, really? | 等下 真的吗 |
| [15:54] | This is where I was when I first decided to go to Greendale. | 我也是在这里决定要来格林德尔上学的 |
| [15:57] | You’re kidding me. | 开什么玩笑 |
| [16:00] | Senor Chang, I know you’re as disappointed as I am | 昌先生 我知道您跟我一样 |
| [16:03] | in the caliber of students we have at Greendale. | 对格林德尔的学生水准大失所望 |
| [16:05] | But the mall offers a whole new valuable demographic | 但商场提供了一份全新的关于白天醒着的 |
| [16:09] | of people awake during the daytime. | 顾客统计信息 |
| [16:11] | All right, I’ll pass flyers at Yogurtsburgh. | 好吧 我去酸奶吧那边派传单 |
| [16:13] | Self-serve yogurt. | 自助酸奶 |
| [16:14] | Those douses already know one marketable skill. | 那些笨蛋已经掌握了一门销售技能了呢 |
| [16:17] | Okay, Ben… | 好啦 本 |
| [16:18] | But it still has the tags on! | 这标签还留着呢好吧 |
| [16:20] | So I lost the receipt. | 不过是弄丢了收据 |
| [16:21] | It’s not like I even got to wear it, | 又不是我自己要穿 |
| [16:23] | because my husband’s a tasteless man slut. | 因为我丈夫是个没品的渣男 |
| [16:26] | What… hey, littering! | 搞毛 喂 乱丢垃圾啊 |
| [16:33] | This better not awaken anything in me. | 最好别唤醒我体内的某种冲动哦 |
| [16:44] | God, this day… | 今天真是要命了 |
| [16:46] | I thought pushing that woman’s head through a jukebox | 我以为把那女人的脑袋摁到点唱机里 |
| [16:47] | would make me feel better, but I’m just… | 会让我感觉爽一点 其实我只是 |
| [16:49] | Out of $54… | 没了54块钱 |
| [16:51] | and a marriage. | 外加一个婚姻 |
| [16:53] | Crystal skull was aliens, | 水晶头骨是外星人 |
| [16:54] | so it’s a pretty great film. | 这电影真挺赞的 |
| [17:01] | 体育很烂? 头脑也残? 那就来格林德尔吧! | |
| [17:03] | You guys seen this? | 你们看这个了没 |
| [17:04] | Guys, working the program with you has been so great. | 伙计们 跟你们同在项目里共事真是太棒了 |
| [17:08] | I feel like I’m finally ready to get my life back on track. | 我感觉我的人生终于重回正轨了 |
| [17:13] | Last chance. Just walk over there right now | 最后一次机会 只要走过去 |
| [17:15] | and apologize to the theater manager. | 跟电影院经理认个错 |
| [17:18] | Midichlorians. | 迷地原虫 |
| [17:20] | Midichlorians! | 迷地原虫 |
| [17:22] | Fine. | 算你狠 |
| [17:23] | Then you’re not going to film school! | 那就不许你去电影学院了 |
| [17:27] | Hi! Do you have any vegan froyo? | 请问你们有素食冻酸奶吗 |
| [17:29] | Do you even know what froyo is? | 你知道冻酸奶的定义吗 |
| [17:31] | Fine. Do you have a job application? | 好吧 那你们招人不 |
| [17:35] | That weird guy hasn’t blinked once. | 那个怪胎一次眼都没眨过 |
| [17:38] | Oh, yeah. | 对哦 |
| [17:41] | What a dweeb. | 真够白痴的 |
| [17:43] | Yeah, what a dweeb. | 是啊 真够白痴的 |
| [17:43] | Oh, nice shot, man! | 射得真准啊 |
| [17:49] | Hey, do you work at Greendale? | 请问你是在格林德尔工作吗 |
| [17:50] | Work? That’s putting it charitably. | 工作 别给它贴金了 |
| [17:52] | Greendale Community College is a total joke. | 格林德尔社区大学真是彻底的笑话 |
| [17:54] | They’d give a degree to a monkey. | 他们还给一只猴子颁发过学位呢 |
| [17:57] | Hey, does Ian Duncan still teach psychogy at Greendale? | 尹恩·邓肯教授还在格林德尔教心理学吗 |
| [18:01] | – That drunken Limey? – That’s the one. | -那个英国酒鬼 -就是他 |
| [18:03] | He’s got tenure. | 他有终身教职 |
| [18:04] | Maybe getting my degree won’t be as hard as I thought. | 也许拿学位没有我想的那么难 |
| [18:09] | Sir, what are you doing? | 先生 您干吗呢 |
| [18:12] | Can we get some help out here? | 能帮帮忙吗 |
| [18:13] | Some old guy broke the machine and is faking a heart attack. | 有个老头把机器弄坏了 还假装心脏病发作 |
| [18:19] | Oh, wait. | 等一下 |
| [18:21] | Ah, stupid. | 白痴 |
| [18:33] | Cool, cool, cool. | 酷酷酷 |
| [18:34] | Wait, so was that old guy really Pierce? | 等下 所以那个老头真的是皮尔斯 |
| [18:37] | We’ll never know, because he’ll never ever remember. | 无从得知 因为这种事他才不想记得呢 |
| [18:41] | What are the chances of all of us | 我们这群人能够连续两次在同一时间 |
| [18:42] | ending up at the same place at the same time twice? | 出现在同一地点 这种几率有多大啊 |
| [18:45] | Abed, it’s amazing. | 阿布蒂 太神奇了 |
| [18:46] | I mean, yes, 2008 was the height | 没错 2008年是微酸冻酸奶的 |
| [18:48] | of the slightly sour frozen yogurt craze, but… | 一个销售高峰 |
| [18:51] | That still doesn’t explain it. | 但这仍然无法解释 |
| [18:52] | Maybe we really were all meant to be together. | 也许我们真的是注定命中相遇 |
| [18:55] | I’m not sure I understand it, but maybe we don’t have to. | 我不敢确定是否真弄懂了 但也许不用懂 |
| [19:00] | What I do know is that the ways our paths crossed, | 我觉得咱们大家走过的种种道路 |
| [19:03] | even when they were bad, all led us to this point. | 包括那些糟糕的路 都引导着我们相聚 |
| [19:08] | And I wouldn’t have it any other way. | 而且我对别的方式也没什么期待 |
| [19:10] | So what you’re saying | 所以你的意思是说 |
| [19:11] | is that we’re all each other’s uncle Ben’s murder. | 我们相互之间都是对方死于非命的本叔叔 |
| [19:14] | And we’re all spider-men. | 我们都是蜘蛛侠 |
| [19:16] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [19:18] | Let’s say I’m saying that. | 就当我说的是这句话吧 |
| [19:19] | Mm, I think we know whose will this really is. | 我觉得大家都知道这是谁的旨意吧 |
| [19:24] | Yeah, I think I do. | 嗯 我觉得我知道 |
| [19:26] | I’ll be right back. | 我马上回来 |
| [19:32] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [19:36] | Hey, Abed. | 阿布蒂 |
| [19:40] | Just doing some pilates. | 我正练普拉提操呢 |
| [19:42] | – I was looking for you. – Wha…I… | -我正在找你 -什么 |
| [19:44] | We discovered you’re the reason we all went to Greendale. | 我们发现你才是大家来格林德尔的原因 |
| [19:46] | You linked all of our stories. | 你连起了我们所有人的故事 |
| [19:48] | Like how Cosmic Cube assembled the avengers. | 就像《宇宙魔方》召集复仇者一样 |
| [19:50] | That, and the 4-billion-dollar deal with Disney. | 还有和迪士尼的40亿美元的合作 |
| [19:53] | Turns out you were always one of us. | 结果表明你一直是我们其中的一员 |
| [19:55] | So I came to see if you wanted to get some frozen yogurt. | 所以我过来问问你要不要喝点冻酸奶 |
| [19:59] | Really? | 真的咩 |
| [20:00] | That’s… | 真是 |
| [20:03] | That’s all I ever wanted. | 这些我真是从来都没想到过 |
| [20:07] | But it’s too late. | 但是太迟了 |
| [20:09] | Here’s another thing I realized. | 我还意识到了另外一件事 |
| [20:11] | Because of you we got to reinvent ourselves at Greendale. | 因为你 我们不得不在格林德尔重塑人生 |
| [20:14] | Everyone should have the same chance, don’t you think… | 所有人的机会都是平等的 你觉得呢 |
| [20:16] | – Chang? – It’s not Chang. | -昌 -我不是昌 |
| [20:18] | It’s Kevin. | 我是凯文 |
| [20:23] | How long have you known? | 你知道多久了 |
| [20:24] | Known what? | 知道什么 |
| [20:26] | Only you know who you really are. | 只有你自己知道自己是谁 |
| [20:29] | Also, you may have experimental monkey fever. | 还有 你可能有试验性猴子狂热症 |
| [20:32] | You coming? | 一起走吧 |
| [20:38] | Yeah. | 好 |
| [20:43] | Actually, can we stop at the post office first? | 我们能先去一下邮局吗 |
| [20:45] | I have something to mail for the dean. | 我要帮院长寄几封信 |
| [20:47] | It’s confidential and I don’t wanna talk about it, | 机密信息 我不想说太多 |
| [20:49] | so stop interrogating me. | 不要问我 |
| [20:55] | I’m out. | 我退出 |
| [20:58] | You’re too in to be out. | 你陷得太深退不出了 |
| [21:05] | You want some refills? On me, huh? | 还想再添杯吗 我请客 |
| [21:07] | Refills? You want some? | 添杯哦 要吗 |
| [21:07] | 圆满大结局 | |
| [21:11] | Time for plan “B”. | 该实施B计划了 |