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废柴联盟(Community)第1季第12集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 废柴联盟(Community)第1季第12集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:01] Happy last day before winter break, Greendale 寒假前最后一天快乐呀 格林德尔的同学们
[00:03] Time to visit our loved ones 是去探望爱人的时候了
[00:05] Some of you will travel as far as three miles! 听说有的人还会远行上三公里呢
[00:08] Don’t forget to visit our winter wonderland in the quad, 但也别忘了去光临广场的”冬日仙境”
[00:11] Where we’re giving away catalogues of next semester’s classes. 到那里去领下学期的课程表哦
[00:17] Whoa, what’s that sound? 哇哦 那是什么声音啊
[00:20] Is that the tippy-tapping of secular boots on the roof? 是世俗之靴踏在屋顶的声音吗
[00:20] 世俗圣诞节 即淡化其基督教意义 这里院长想表示对各宗教的包容
[00:25] Oh, well, it must be yet another sign 不过 也可能是表明
[00:27] that it tis the season, 圣诞季节到了
[00:30] Because rumor has it that non-denominational Mr. Winter 因为传言说这位跨宗派的冬天先生
[00:35] is on his way to the student lounge! 正在去学生联谊室的路上
[00:39] I’m so sick of the dean jamming his p.C.-ness down my throat. 院长这样强制灌输个人政治观 真是受不了
[00:42] Pierce, I’d like to commend you 皮尔斯 这回你不发表感言了
[00:44] for letting that one go. 真值得表扬一下
[00:46] “p.C.-ness.” “政治观”
[00:48] Now I get it. 我终于明白了
[00:49] – It sounds like “penis.” – I just got it too. -听起来像”阴茎” -我也刚发现
[00:51] Well, it’s still Christmas to all of us, 好了 还是说说我们的圣诞节吧
[00:53] and I made you all a little gift, 我给大家做了一份小礼物
[00:55] because you’re like my new family. 因为你们就像我的家人
[00:57] “W.W.B.J.D” “W.W.B.J.D.”?
[00:59] If this stands for “What Would Billy Joel do,” 如果是”比利·乔尔将要做什么”的缩写
[01:01] I’ll tell you right now– He’d write another crappy song. 我现在就可以给你答案 他在创作蹩脚歌
[01:03] Yeah, in your face, Billy Joel. 没错 闪一边去吧 比利·乔尔
[01:06] Who is that? 谁是比利·乔尔
[01:07] It stands for “What Would Baby Jesus do?” 是”婴儿耶稣会如何行事”的缩写
[01:08] And it’s to remind us that the real meaning 这是在提醒世人 这个季节的真谛
[01:10] of this season is Christmas. 就是圣诞节
[01:12] Oh, well, thank you, Shirley. 真不错 谢谢你 雪瑞
[01:15] I’m gonna put that in the pocket closest to my heart. 我放在这里 让它紧贴我心
[01:18] No, no, no, it’s a bracelet. You put ’em on. 不不 那个是手链 应该戴在手腕上
[01:21] Everybody put ’em on. 大家都戴上吧
[01:31] Hey. Hey! 你 站住
[01:35] You took all the winter-doodles. 你干嘛拿光了涂鸦饼
[01:37] What are you, a douche bag? 你丫是脑残吗
[01:39] They’re for my friends. 我帮我朋友拿的
[01:40] There’s a lot of other cookies left. 那里不是还有饼干吗
[01:41] No, there’s only macadamia nut cookies there, okay? 没有了 只有澳洲坚果饼了
[01:43] I have a tree-nut allergy. 我对树坚果过敏
[01:44] You should probably stay away from Christmas-tree-shaped cookies. 那你记得不要去碰圣诞树形状的饼干
[01:46] Ha ha! That did not even make allergic sense. 哈 哈 你没有过敏常识吧
[01:48] What are you, an idiot? 你谁啊 白痴吗
[01:50] Okay, we get it. You and the a-team are awesome. 好吧 明白了 你和你的天龙特工队帅翻了
[01:54] Now beat it. 快滚吧
[01:55] Oh, look at that. 大家来看啊
[01:56] Pretty boy standing up for bird face over here. 小帅哥来支持鸟面人啦
[01:59] Give me a winter-doodle. 还我涂鸦饼干
[02:00] If you’re trying to be menacing, 想吓唬人也得装酷一点
[02:01] maybe don’t call the cookie by its name. 饼干就饼干 还涂鸦饼干呢
[02:04] Oh, you’re funny. You’re a funny man. 有意思 你真有意思
[02:07] Want to hear something funny, funny man? 知道什么才叫有意思吗
[02:09] Knock, knock. 砰 砰 砰
[02:10] My fist up your balls! 打得你满地找蛋蛋
[02:12] Who’s there? 是谁啊
[02:14] Ha ha ha! Merry happy! 哈 哈 哈 快乐哟快乐
[02:19] This ain’t over. 跟你没完
[02:23] There won’t always be a dean around. 院长帮不了你一辈子
[02:25] All right? 是吧
[02:27] Still waiting on those cookies, Abed. 阿布蒂 还有人在等着吃饼干呢
[02:55] Jeff protected my honor. 杰夫捍卫了我的尊严
[02:57] It was like my bodyguard, but I was the kid from meatballs, 就像是我的保镖 但我是《肉丸》里的小子
[02:59] Jeff was the guy from full metal jacket, 杰夫则是《全金属外壳》里的主角
[03:01] And the moustache guy was the brother of the guy on entourage. 那个八字胡是《明星伙伴》里面主角的哥哥
[03:03] Thanks for dumbing that down for us. 感谢你说得这么通俗
[03:05] – You got it. – So what’s the deal, Jeff? -不谢 -杰夫 怎么回事
[03:06] You leave your stones in your other suit? 你的砖头忘带了吗
[03:09] Why didn’t you rap that guy in the face? 怎么不扁死他们
[03:11] For the same reason that I floss, 和我用牙线剔牙
[03:12] have a bed frame, and keep my guitar in its case– 床垫放床架上 吉他放盒里一个道理
[03:14] I’m over 23. 我已经不是23岁的人了
[03:15] I’m proud of you for handling it peacefully, Jeff, 杰夫 你如此冷静的处理方式真让我侧目
[03:17] Like a certain little birthday boy. 就像某个可爱的小寿星
[03:21] Real men turn the other cheek. 宽容大度才是真男人
[03:24] – Let’s see ’em. – Nonsense. -抬起手腕看看 -无稽之谈
[03:26] Men were wired to fight each other 男人之间有了决斗
[03:27] So that women could choose the right mate. 女人才能选出合格的配偶
[03:30] No, the real reason men fight 不 男人打架的真正原因
[03:31] is to release their pent-up gayness. 是释放他们长期抑制的同性情感
[03:33] That guy wasn’t gay. He had a moustache. 那个男人不是基佬吧 他还有小胡子
[03:35] You know what I have? Finals. 你知道我有什么吗 期末考试
[03:37] Are we cramming for spanish or not? 我们还抱佛脚学西语么
[03:39] I need a 65, or I’m gonna flunk the class. 我必须得拿65分 要不我就得退学了
[03:41] Why didn’t you do the extra-credit assignments 你怎么不做额外学分作业呢
[03:44] if you knew that you were… 既然你知道自己要…
[03:46] Failing? 挂了
[03:47] Because doing more than the minimum work 因为做额外的作业
[03:48] is my definition of… 在我看来就是
[03:50] Failing. 挂
[03:52] Quick question– are you all coming 快答题 你们是考试一结束
[03:53] to my Christmas party right after the final, 就来参加我的圣诞晚会
[03:55] or are you stopping home to change 还是回家换上圣诞服装
[03:56] into your Christmas outfits? 再来我家
[04:01] I guess I could wear one of my hanukah sweaters. 我就穿一件光明节毛衣吧
[04:04] Uh, Annie… 哦 安妮
[04:07] I-I didn’t know you weren’t, um, christian. 我不知道 原来你不信基督的
[04:09] Yep. 没错
[04:11] One might even say I’m jewish. 我可是正宗的犹太人
[04:13] Oh, t-that’s good for you. T-that’s wonderful. 这真不错 这的确很棒
[04:16] I respect all religions of the world. 我尊重所有宗教
[04:18] – I’m muslim. – Jehovah’s witness. -我是穆斯林 -耶和华见证会
[04:19] – Atheist. – The lord is testing me. -无神论者 -主在考验我
[04:22] Guys, this is a subject that breeds conflicts. 诸位 这话题太容易引起种族冲突了
[04:24] – Can we please do– – What religion are you, Jeff? -我们能不能… -你信仰什么教 杰夫
[04:26] I’m agnostic. 我是不可知论者
[04:29] Agnostic– lazy man’s atheist. 不可知论 就是懒人的无神论
[04:33] I’m born-again. 我重生了[基督语]
[04:34] Yeah, we had a re-birthing ritual 没错 我在朋友的热浴缸里
[04:36] in my friend’s hot tub. 举行过再生仪式
[04:37] I’m now a level-five laser lotus in my buddhist community. 我在佛学社团已经炼到五级激光莲座
[04:41] Uh, that does not sound like buddhism. 听起来和佛学没什么关系
[04:43] Are you sure you’re not in a cult? 你确定不是邪教组织吗
[04:44] Just by asking me that question, 光这么一问
[04:47] You’ve put me back down to a level four. 你已经把我的级别降到了四级
[04:49] You now owe me 2,000 energon cubes. 现在你欠我两千颗能量块
[04:52] Do you know how foolish you sound right now? 你知道这话有多傻吗
[04:54] What else do you believe in, blood transfusions? 你还信什么 换血法恢复元气吗
[04:57] Jehovah’s witnesses are a type of christian, right, Troy? 特洛伊 耶和华见证会也算基督教 对吧
[05:00] Yeah, but we don’t celebrate birthdays or Christmas, 没错 但我们不庆祝生日和圣诞节
[05:02] And we can’t drink. 还有我们不喝酒
[05:04] But it helps. 不过多多受益了
[05:05] So you’re like a muslim. Salaam alaikum. 就像穆斯林 祝你平安[阿拉伯问候语]
[05:06] Shama-lama-ding-dong. 啥嘛喇嘛叮咚
[05:08] Wow, don’t we have a diverse little family. 我们正像一个丰富多彩的小家庭
[05:11] I say we open up this– this party to all faiths. 大家都敞开胸襟 让派对包容各种信德
[05:13] I brought my star of bethlehem, 我会带上圣星百合
[05:15] Which led the wise men to the savior of all mankind. 正是它成就我主为全人类的救世主
[05:18] And you guys can bring a little trinket or doodad 大伙可以带上各自宗教的装饰物
[05:21] From your philosophies. 或是小玩意儿
[05:22] Sounds good? 大家看怎么样
[05:24] As an agnostic, 作为一名不可知论者
[05:25] I’m gonna bring my winning smile. 我会带上胜利者的微笑
[05:27] That’s not enough. 太少了 不够
[05:38] Ugh! so boring. 好无聊
[05:42] Done. Hee hee. 做完了 嘻嘻
[05:45] Hee hee. 嘻嘻
[05:47] Hmm. Feliz navidad. 圣诞快乐[西语]
[05:50] “True or falso or none of the above”? “对 错 或以上都不是”
[05:54] That doesn’t make any sense. 什么狗屁题啊
[06:00] Hey, look at that. 快看 快看
[06:02] Forehead’s taking a test. 大额头在考试呢
[06:03] Why don’t you get going, Chuck Norris? 查克·诺里斯 走你的路吧
[06:03] 动作片演员 被网络恶搞后名声大噪 类似于鼻孔周
[06:05] Did you just shoo me? 你刚刚是在嘘我吗
[06:08] Why don’t you just kiss him already? 你干嘛还不上前去献上香吻
[06:09] Dude, I will shoo your nose down your throat! 伙计 看我怎么把你鼻子嘘进喉咙里
[06:12] Senor chang, can you do something about this? 昌老师 你就坐视不管吗
[06:14] I’ll allow it. 我作壁上观
[06:17] Que pasa here, huh? 来练练我吧 小子
[06:21] It’s usted, dude. Even I know that. 这题选”您” 小子 我都知道
[06:27] You picked the wrong day to correct my spanish, no sleeves. 今天给我西语挑错算你倒霉 坎肩男
[06:29] It’s on! 来吧
[06:31] He’s doing this for me. He’s my bodyguard. 他这是在帮我 他是我的保镖
[06:33] – You wanna dance? – Maybe to some show tunes? -来练练吗 -来点音乐怎么样
[06:35] No, I want to beat the crap out of you. 不 我要打得你落花流水
[06:36] And I’m gonna enjoy it, 而我也爽在其中
[06:38] Because you’re just like this school. 因为你就像这所烂学校
[06:39] You’re obnoxious, you’re cramping my style, 你让人恶心 玷污我的风格
[06:40] and you smell like french-fry oil. 闻起来就像炸土豆条的臭油
[06:42] I don’t get it! 说有用的
[06:43] 3:00! Bike rack! 三点钟 自行车场见
[06:45] But not the one by the parking lot! 但不是靠停车场的那个
[06:47] Right! The one by the trash cans near the orange cones 知道 就是垃圾桶旁边靠近隔离路桩
[06:49] where they’re building the wheelchair ramp! 旁边在修轮椅坡道那里
[06:51] Best exam ever. 这次考试才够劲
[06:54] That guy’s awesome, man. 那家伙真酷
[07:01] So help me if that jerk-weed made me fail. 我要是因为那混蛋而挂科 你要帮我
[07:03] Well, I aced it, amigo. That means “cousin.” 我会的 朋友 那是”表兄”的意思
[07:06] So what’s my role going to be in the fight? 那我在这场战斗中扮演什么角色呢
[07:07] Is there a key moment where I finally stand up for myself 会不会在关键时刻 我终于挺身而出
[07:09] and take revenge on the villain? 锄恶扬善?
[07:10] Uh, maybe you should just hang back. 你就在后面晃晃好了
[07:12] Yeah I will. In his face! 我会的 打他的脸
[07:14] Whatever you do, 不管怎样
[07:16] don’t tell Shirley about the fight. 不要把打架的事告诉雪瑞
[07:17] She’ll start in with all her mother-y, guilt-inducing powers. 否则她又要开始妈妈式的谆谆教导了
[07:21] You know what I mean? 你懂我意思了吗
[07:21] No. I’m wearing this jesus bracelet 不懂 我可喜欢戴这手链了
[07:23] ’cause it gets me chicks. 小妞最爱手链男了
[07:24] I know guys like this Mike. 我了解像麦克这样的人
[07:26] He used to be a nerd. Now he’s a meathead. 小时候脑残 长大了脑裂
[07:28] Dangerous combo. 危险群体
[07:30] Tyson, Lou Ferrigno, Rosie O’Donnell. 像泰森 罗·佛里格洛 罗西·欧唐纳
[07:33] You’re a pretty big dude. Probably got some moves. 你挺结实的 应该会几招吧
[07:35] Yeah, I got some… theories. 对 理论上的…还行
[07:38] – You’ve never been in a fight? – Technically, no. -你从来没打过架 -实战 确实没有
[07:40] I guess I’m too charming and likable. 我想我是太迷人可爱了
[07:41] Call me a name. 随便骂吧
[07:44] I can’t. 骂不出来
[07:46] Are you telling me you’ve never been punched in the face? 你是说你从未被打过脸?
[07:48] No, thank god. This is the moneymaker. 是的 谢天谢地 我还靠它吃饭呢
[07:51] First time I got punched in the face, 第一次我被打脸时
[07:52] I was like, “oh, no!” 我就这样 “噢 不”
[07:55] But then I was like, “this is a story.” 后来我就想”可以跟人吹牛了”
[07:58] And a good one. 牛皮还不错
[08:00] Every man should be punched in the face. 每个男人都应该被打一次脸
[08:02] It’s a rite of passage. 这可是成人式
[08:03] In my day, Friday night was 我们那时候
[08:05] Smoke a doobie, feel up a gal, 每周五晚就是吸烟泡妞
[08:06] And then get your teeth knocked out by a republican. 然后被共和党人打爆牙
[08:09] Guys the plan here isn’t for me to get hit. 伙计们 我们的计划不是我被打
[08:11] It’s for me to hit him. 而是我打他
[08:12] Oh, then it’s settled. 那就得了
[08:13] We have to teach Jeffrey how to fight. 我们得教教杰夫瑞如何打架
[08:15] I know a few moves. 我会几招
[08:17] Troy, I assume you’re handy with a switchblade. 特洛伊 我想你有带弹簧刀吧
[08:19] Abed, you get back to the family tent, 阿布蒂 你回到你家帐篷去
[08:21] Try to find a chicken for Jeff to chase. 找一只小鸡让杰夫去追
[08:23] Guys, I appreciate the enthusiasm, 伙计们 我很感谢你们的热情
[08:26] But, uh, I think I got this. 我还是有两把刷子的
[08:28] Oh, well, look who it is. 快看 那是谁啊
[08:30] We got forehead, old head, 大额头 老秃头
[08:32] Dumb head, and, uh… the other head. 傻逼头…和一个头
[08:36] See you at 3:00, forehead. 3点见 大额头
[08:39] Give me a snowman, dork! 给我个雪人 呆子
[08:42] See this, funny guy? Huh? 看见没 幽默男
[08:50] Classic Rosie. 经典的罗西动作
[08:52] Fight lessons in a half an hour? 半小时后进行打架训练好吗
[08:54] Good plan. 不错的主意
[08:57] * joy to the world * * 快乐遍洒大地 *
[08:58] * The lord is come * * 圣主降临 *
[09:01] * The lord, the lord * * 圣主 圣主 *
[09:04] * The lord * * 圣主 *
[09:06] Hello. 你好啊
[09:09] Is this your hanukkah holder? 这是你的光明节装饰品吗
[09:11] It’s, uh–it’s pretty. 挺可爱的
[09:13] We’ll just, uh… let’s just put it– 我们…放在这儿
[09:16] There we go. That’s nice. 就这样 不错
[09:18] So I can’t believe 真不敢相信
[09:21] I never knew you were a jew. 我从来不知道你是犹太人
[09:23] I’d say the whole word next time. 你下次记得还是叫全称
[09:29] so, uh, do you think everyone will start arriving soon? 他们就快过来了吗
[09:32] I think they’re gonna come after Jeff’s fight. 我想他们会在杰夫打完架再来
[09:34] After Jeff’s what now? 杰夫什么
[09:36] Jeff wants to fight that bully. 杰夫要和那个土霸王打架
[09:39] On Christmas? 在圣诞节吗
[09:41] Um, will you excuse me for a moment? 对不起 我要离开一下
[09:43] And can you finish the manger scene? 能搭一下那个马槽的布景吗
[09:48] We know you were one of us. 你也是犹太人哦
[09:56] ‘Sup? ‘Sup? 怎么着 怎么着
[09:58] ‘Sup! 怎么着
[09:59] No, it’s a question. 不 这是问句
[10:00] – ‘Sup? – ‘Sup? -怎么着 -怎么着
[10:03] Not a real question, a rhetorical one. 不是真问 是反问
[10:04] You have the answer. He does not. 己知彼不知
[10:07] Okay, then you give him the Forest Whitaker eye. 然后你给他使个福里斯特·惠特式眼神
[10:09] That’s pretty good. 学得好像
[10:11] Okay, hold that stare. 一直这样瞪着
[10:12] There you go. Hold it. 就这样 保持住
[10:14] Then you look straight through his eyes 然后直视他的眼睛
[10:16] And deep into his soul. 深入他的灵魂
[10:17] And then you move to Vermont. 然后携手迈向佛蒙特州
[10:18] I am sick and tired of you saying that fighting is gay! 别总把打架和搞基扯上 真的很烦
[10:21] She’s got a point. 她说得没错
[10:22] You know, in boxing, you fight for the purse and the belt. 拳击赛的目的不光有钱 还有腰带[性暗示]
[10:24] I’ve gotta write a paper about that. 我得写一篇关于这个的论文
[10:25] All right, I’ve seen enough. 好啦 我看不下去了
[10:26] Let’s see what we’re working with. 来动点真格的
[10:28] Go ahead, throw a few at the old paws. 开始 打几下
[10:32] What are you, a north korean seamstress? 你这干嘛 朝鲜女红吗
[10:34] Not if that’s bad. 那看你这句话是褒是贬了
[10:35] Get mad! come on! 来狠的 快点
[10:37] If it helps, think of me as somebody who annoys you. 你就当我是个烦死人的混蛋就好了
[10:40] Ooh, that’s it! that’s–that’s good. 就这样 太好了
[10:42] Britta, put your blouse back on. 布雷塔 穿上你的上衣
[10:46] Boys, this is not a game. 小伙子 这可不是游戏
[10:48] You gotta be ready for anything. 你要做好充足的准备
[10:49] Dude, that is not cool! 这一点也不酷
[10:51] Well, that foxy Black girl thinks it is. 那边那个小黑妞就觉得这样不错
[10:54] – What are you doing? – Why does she have to be black? -你干什么 -为什么她非得是黑妞
[10:57] What is going on? 到底怎么了
[10:58] We’re trying to get Jeff ready for the fiiiii…iiight. 我们为杰夫瑞打…架做准备
[11:05] I couldn’t think of another word. 我想不到其他词了
[11:08] Idiot. 笨蛋
[11:09] He meant we were figh…ting. 他是说我们打…架
[11:14] It is hard to think of another word. 的确很难
[11:15] You realize there’s no other way for me to take this 你们想知道我的看法吗
[11:16] than as a giant middle finger 你们这是在亵渎
[11:18] to the most important day of the year. 一年中最重要的一天
[11:19] December 10th? 12月10号吗
[11:21] It’s our Christmas, 这是大家的圣诞节
[11:22] And I’m having a party. 我还要举办聚会
[11:24] Due to my divorce and my relatives picking sides, 我离了婚 亲戚又不支持我
[11:26] this will be the only Christmas party i throw this year. 我今年只能办这一次圣诞聚会了
[11:29] Will you be there, or will I have another family 你们是去参加呢 还是说我重建的家庭
[11:32] letting me down? 再次让我失望而归
[11:34] I told him not to fight. He wouldn’t listen. 我说过不要打架 可他不听
[11:38] I don’t know what that is. 我也不知道这是啥
[11:43] Jeffrey, 杰夫瑞
[11:45] I have two boys. 我有两个儿子
[11:48] And when we have a serious discussion, 一旦失态严重了
[11:50] I find that a brownie helps them to relax. 我发现巧克力蛋糕有助于放松情绪
[11:53] So why do you hate me and Jesus? 那么你为什么恨我和耶稣
[11:56] I don’t think my brownie’s working. 我觉得巧克力蛋糕对我没作用
[11:59] please don’t do something so ugly on a day so important to me. 请不要在今天做这龌龊事 今天对我很重要
[12:02] Again, it’s December 10th. 再说一遍 今天是12月10号
[12:04] You think religion is stupid? 你认为宗教很愚蠢吗
[12:07] No, no. 不 不
[12:08] To me, religion is like Paul Rudd. 对我来说 宗教就像保罗·拉德
[12:10] I see the appeal, and I would never take it away from anyone. 有吸引力 我不会阻止别人去追随他
[12:13] But I would also never stand in line for it. 但我也不会那么痴迷
[12:15] And look, Shirley, 雪瑞 听着
[12:16] the die has been cast with this crazy bully guy. 我已经和那土霸王结下仇
[12:18] He picked on Abed, 他捉弄阿布蒂
[12:19] and he corrected my spanish. 还来纠正我的西班牙语
[12:21] So you go to your party, and I’ll see you soon. 你去聚会 我们待会儿再见
[12:24] Jeffrey, I forbid you from fighting. 杰弗里 我不允许你去打架
[12:27] Well, you don’t get to. You’re not my mom. 你管不着 你不是我妈
[12:30] You’re right. 你说的对
[12:31] But if you show up for the fight, 但如果你去打架
[12:33] don’t show up for my party. 就别来我的聚会
[12:35] Oh, come on, Shirley, don’t be mad. 别这样 雪瑞 别生气
[12:36] I’m not mad. I’m disappointed. 我没生气 我只是失望
[12:38] That’s “mom” for mad. 你这是”妈妈式”的生气
[12:48] Oh, hash browns and applesauce–that’s nice. 土豆煎饼和苹果酱 棒极了
[12:51] Oh, what is that interesting smell? 那个诱人的香味是什么
[12:54] It’s a traditional muslim dish. 是传统的穆斯林菜
[12:56] It looks delicious. 看起来很美味
[12:58] I’m guessing as a woman I won’t be allowed to eat that. 我想作为女人的我是不允许吃这个的
[13:00] That’s too bad. 太不合适了
[13:03] Oh, look, Britta brought what she believes in… 看哪 布雷塔带来了她信仰的…
[13:05] Nothing. 啥也没有
[13:07] Where should I put my buddha incense holder? 我该把我的佛香炉放哪
[13:09] I’m pretty sure that’s a bong. 我很肯定这是烟斗[吸大麻用]
[13:12] Where’s Jeff? 杰夫在哪
[13:15] I guess he made his choice. 我想他做了选择
[13:18] I want to go to Jeff’s fight. 我想去看杰夫打架
[13:20] as I told Jeff, no one that goes to the fight 就像我跟杰夫说的那样 想打架
[13:22] can come to my party. 就别来我的聚会
[13:23] He’s dead to me. 他和我没关系了
[13:24] And if any of you leave, 如果你们谁要离开
[13:26] You’ll be dead to me too. 那我们也就没有关系了
[13:28] Let’s sing. 我们唱歌吧
[13:30] * Jesus is a friend of mine * * 耶稣是我的朋友 *
[13:33] * Jesus is a friend of mine * * 耶稣是我的朋友 *
[13:35] Everybody! 一起唱
[13:36] * Jesus is a friend of mine * * 耶稣是我的朋友 *
[13:38] Come on, everybody. You don’t know it? 大伙唱啊 你们不会吗
[13:41] you’re banning Jeff from the party? 你不让杰夫参加派对吗
[13:43] That doesn’t seem very christian. 基督徒可不会这么做
[13:44] Well, that’s an interesting point of view 对一个无神论者而言
[13:47] Coming from an atheist. 这倒是个很有意思的观点
[13:49] I did my best to create a special Christmas 我尽自己最大的努力为我的大家庭
[13:53] for my one intact family, and… 来办这个特殊的圣诞派对
[13:55] This is the thanks I get. 你们就这样谢我吗
[13:58] Shirley, you are a guilt machine. 雪瑞 你怎么老让别人内疚啊
[14:02] and Annie knows a thing or two about guilt. 人家安妮可从不做让人内疚的事哦
[14:03] Am I right, jew? 我没说错吧 犹太
[14:05] Say the whole word! 叫全名
[14:06] Jewie? 小犹犹
[14:09] you would never catch a jehovah’s witness saying “jewie.” 耶和华见证会教徒就绝不会叫人”小犹犹”
[14:12] Tell it to the birthday cake you never got. 跟生日蛋糕说去吧 对 你没见过
[14:14] You know, there’s an old buddhist saying in my vision group. 在我的愿景小组 流传着一句佛教禅语
[14:17] You are not a buddhist. You are in a cult. 你信仰的不是佛教 是邪教
[14:19] Suck it, Nietzsche! 咬我啊 尼采
[14:21] Guys, everyone’s faith is weird. 听着 大家的信仰都挺奇怪的
[14:23] Let’s just not talk about it. 我们就不要再谈了
[14:24] there’s nothing weird about christianity. 基督教可不怪
[14:31] Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! 伙计们 别闹了
[14:34] Are we really gonna let religion divide us like this? 大家真要因为宗教起内讧吗
[14:37] I think there’s one thing we can all agree on. 我认为有件事我们能一致同意
[14:39] – I get 72 virgins in heaven. – No. -在天堂我会拥有72个处女 -不是
[14:41] That we would all like to have Jeff at this party. 我们都希望杰夫也来参加派对
[14:45] mm-mm. He can’t come. 不行 他不能来
[14:46] – Shirley. – mm-mm. -雪瑞 -没门
[14:48] Shirley, listen. 雪瑞 听着
[14:49] I get that this is your first Christmas 我知道这是自从你丈夫离开后
[14:51] since your husband left you, and I don’t know, 你过的第一个圣诞节
[14:53] Maybe that’s why you’re being so stubborn, 可能这就是你这么顽固的原因
[14:55] because you’re trying so hard to re-create something 因为你太害怕自己失去了家庭
[14:58] that you’re afraid that you’ve lost forever. 不顾一切想重新创造出一个
[15:00] But if you really want us to be your second family, 但如果你真的希望我们成为你的新家人
[15:03] then you’ve gotta start treating us like one, 那你就应该像待家人一样待我们
[15:06] Even if that means supporting us 即便我们的所为有悖你的信仰
[15:09] when we do things that you don’t agree with. 你也要一如既往支持我们
[15:11] You can start by rooting for Jeff 你可以从支持杰夫开始
[15:14] while he rolls around on the ground groping another man. 他正跟人在地上厮打翻滚呢
[15:20] That’s what I’m gonna do. 我要去支持他了
[15:34] The cranberry sauce has real cranberries. 蔓越梅酱里面有真果粒哦
[15:36] look, if this dude doesn’t show up, 听着 要是那个家伙没出现
[15:38] – We’re definitely going to applebee’s, right? – Yeah. -我们就去苹果蜂餐厅 行吧 -对
[15:41] I’m getting into a fight no matter what today, dude. No matter what! 兄弟们 今儿我无论如何都要打一架
[15:44] Look who showed. 看谁来了
[15:47] Oh, check him out. Ahh…ahh! 我们去会会他 哈哈
[15:50] What’s up, dude? No backup today? 怎么 朋友 没带小弟来吗
[15:53] Huh? Looks like grandpa and weirdo 看来老公公和怪球不敢来
[15:55] couldn’t show up to get their teeth knocked out, huh? 是怕被打得满地找牙吧
[15:57] Can I ask you a question? 我能问你个问题吗
[15:59] Are you perpetually on your way to the gym? 你永远都是这副”我要去健身”的德行吗
[16:01] Dude, my life is a gym! 老兄 我天生就是为健身而来的
[16:02] – Well, ‘sup? – ‘Sup, man? -好 怎么着 -怎么着
[16:04] – ‘Sup? – ‘Sup? -怎么着 -怎么着
[16:06] – ‘Sup? ‘Sup? – ‘Sup? ‘Sup? -怎么着 -怎么着
[16:07] – ‘Sup? ‘Sup? – ‘Sup? ‘Sup? -怎么着 -怎么着
[16:09] ‘Sup? ‘Sup? 怎么着 怎么着
[16:13] Dude, what is that? 老兄 你搞毛
[16:14] All right, just one sec. These are very expensive. 没什么 等一下 这些都很贵的
[16:21] All right… 行了
[16:23] Dude, you wear a bracelet? 老兄 你还戴手链吗
[16:28] Your name’s Mike, right? 你叫麦克 对吧
[16:31] So? 是又怎样
[16:33] Mike, I’m not gonna fight you. 麦克 我不打算跟你打架
[16:35] I have a friend that believes this is the time of year 我有个朋友 她相信每年此时
[16:37] where you put aside your differences, 都是抛开大家分歧
[16:39] and you make peace. 和平共处之时
[16:40] Me–I don’t believe in any of that, 我呢 对那套不感冒
[16:43] but I do believe in friendship. 但是我相信友谊
[16:45] And as much as I hate you and the cast of breakin’, 虽然我很讨厌你们这帮霹雳怪胎
[16:48] I have to ask myself, 可我不得不问问自己
[16:49] what would Shirley do? 换做雪瑞 她会怎么做
[16:53] What would Shirley do? 换做雪瑞 她会怎么做
[16:54] – I think… – What would Shirley do? -我认为 -换做雪瑞 她会怎么做
[16:56] That she would shake your hand 她会和你握手
[16:58] and wish you a merry Christmas. 祝你圣诞快乐
[17:02] Jeffrey… 杰夫瑞
[17:05] Kick his ass! 扁他
[17:07] Cavalry’s here. Shirts off, boys! 骑兵来了 伙计们 脱掉上衣
[17:09] Come on, I’m being punked, right? 不是吧 基情四射似梦中啊
[17:11] Come here. Come here. 过来 到这边来
[17:12] * you hit me once, I hit you back * * 你打 我还 *
[17:16] * You gave a kick, I gave a slap * * 你一拳 我一腿 *
[17:18] * You smashed a plate over my head * * 你用盘子敲我头 *
[17:20] * And I set fire to our bed * * 我放火烧我们的床 *
[17:40] Please, it’s Christmas. 别 这可是圣诞节
[17:42] It’s december 10th! 今天才十二月十号呢
[17:45] Not the moneymaker. Not the moneymaker! 别打吃饭家伙 别打吃饭家伙
[17:53] You’re welcome! 不用谢
[17:57] * Sensible night * * 平静的夜 *
[18:00] * Appropriate night * * 悄然而至 *
[18:04] * Snow on ground * * 雪花飘下 *
[18:08] * Left and right * * 左一片 右一片 *
[18:12] * Round yon purchase of decorative things * * 降落在圣诞购物的路上 *
[18:20] * Tolerant rewrite * * 宽容在重新谱写 *
[18:23] * Of carols to sing * * 这圣诞颂歌 *
[18:28] * Function with relative ease * * 歌颂这舒适的宴会 *
[18:36] * Function with relative ease * * 歌颂这舒适的宴会 *
[18:43] Yeah! That was really good. 唱得太好了
[18:45] – Yeah! – That was nice. -是 -太动听了
[18:48] Thank you, Thank you. I get it, yes. 谢谢 谢谢 不用这么激动
[18:50] It is I, senor Chang. 没错 是我
[18:51] Shakira, hold this. 夏奇拉 扶一下
[18:54] So…I have finished grading everyone’s finals, 期末考试我已评分完毕
[18:58] And all of you are moving on. 大家都顺利升级
[19:03] Yeah. 太好了
[19:05] Heh heh heh, except… for Jeff. 除了杰夫
[19:09] Turns out you– 结果 你
[19:11] Pause for dramatic effect– 紧张气氛故意停顿数秒
[19:15] will be seeing me next semester. 下一个学期还要见我
[19:18] Noooooooo! 没天理
[19:20] in spanish 102! heh heh heh. 在西班牙语二级课堂
[19:23] Because he passed, you know. 因为他也及格了
[19:25] And I’m the only spanish teacher. 而我是唯一的西班牙语老师
[19:27] I meant about Jeff passing. 我是为杰夫及格了而欢呼
[19:29] You being our spanish teacher… 至于你当我们的西班牙语老师
[19:34] Man, mike got you good. 哥们 麦克把你打得好惨
[19:36] Actually, uh, that was my present to Jeff. 其实 那是我给杰夫的礼物
[19:38] I don’t care. I got a mountain to shred. 随便吧 我还要去山上滑雪呢
[19:43] Jeffrey, you’re a man now. 杰夫瑞 你是真正的男人了
[19:46] How’s it feel? 感觉如何
[19:47] I got hit in the face, like, four times 在你出拳揍我之前
[19:48] before you punched me. 我已然被人打过四次了
[19:51] some people just don’t know how to say thank you. 某些人就是不知道说声谢谢
[19:53] Pierce, thank you. 皮尔斯 谢谢你
[19:57] And thanks to all of you 还有在座各位
[20:00] for showing up and having my back 在我们和飞天混混打起来时
[20:04] when we fought those fly dancers. 挺身而出 帮了我一把
[20:06] So, uh… 所以
[20:10] – Merry… – No, no, no, no, no. -祝各位 -不 不 不
[20:11] “holiday.” 节日快乐
[20:13] actually, I was gonna say merry semester 事实上 我本打算说学期愉快
[20:16] and happy new one. 愿下学期也如此
[20:19] Here we go. Here we go. 来吧 干杯
[20:21] – Switch. – Switch, switch glasses. -满了 -换 换下一个
[20:29] * Oh, Christmas Troy, oh, Christmas Troy * * 圣诞特洛伊啊 圣诞特洛伊 *
[20:32] * Thy candles shine so brightly * 你的烛光多么明亮 *
[20:34] * Oh, Christmas Troy, oh, Christmas Troy * 圣诞特洛伊啊 圣诞特洛伊 *
[20:37] * Much pleasure thou canst give me * * 带给我们多少欢乐 *
[20:42] Why do you guys do stuff like this? 你们干吗总做这种事
[20:45] – ‘Cause it’s fun. – Yeah. -因为好玩 -没错
[20:48] * The sight of thee at Christmastide * * 圣诞节的景色 *
[20:50] * Spreads hope and gladness far and wide * * 四处播撒希望和欢乐 *
[20:54] * Oh, Christmas Troy, oh, Christmas Troy * 圣诞特洛伊啊 圣诞特洛伊 *
[20:58] * Thou tree most fair and lovely * * 带来热情和友爱 *
[21:04] Don’t move. 别动
[21:06] This nose smells like a special drink. 这鼻套有一股酒味
废柴联盟

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