时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | As you know, | 如大家所知 |
[00:02] | all faculties agree giving their parties extra credits | 所有院系达成一致 给那些组织学术性 |
[00:06] | to students who organise academic related events during what we would’ve | 相关活动的学生奖励额外的学分 而活动时间换言之 |
[00:09] | otherwise known as “free time”. | 就是大家熟知的”课余时间” |
[00:13] | No students in any department has ever exercised this option, | 之前所有院系的学生都当此项选择是透明的 |
[00:18] | until now. | 终于… |
[00:22] | Tonight in the library, | 今晚在图书馆 |
[00:23] | I will be hosting a Dia de los Muertos party. | 我将会举办一个”忘灵节”派对 |
[00:27] | Dias de los muertos or “Day of the dead”, | 我们称之为”亡灵节”[11月2号 拉美传统节日] |
[00:30] | is sometimes refer to Mexican Halloween. | 有时被叫作墨西哥万圣节 |
[00:33] | Which is actually quite offensive to people | 其实这是对认为”墨西哥万圣节” |
[00:35] | famaliar Mexican Halloween as a sexual position. | 是做爱体位的同学的冒犯 |
[00:38] | At any rate, | 总而言之 |
[00:40] | if you show up, you get extra credit. | 你现身了 额外学分就到手了 |
[00:41] | Me, I don’t even get paid. | 我 义务劳动 |
[00:44] | See you tonight. | 晚上见 |
[00:45] | Espanol, esta noche. | 用西语说 晚上见 |
[00:51] | Most of you responded to my invite, but some of you remained evasive, | 大部分人都回应了我的邀请 但有些依然言词闪烁 |
[00:55] | so… | 所以 |
[00:56] | Count me in, this is my first college party, | 算我一个 这是我第一个大学派对 |
[00:59] | I got some tequila, I just rent “Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj”. | 我买了龙舌兰酒 租了电影《留级之王2》 |
[01:02] | And look! | 看 |
[01:03] | Shirley you took off you wedding ring. | 雪瑞 你摘掉婚戒了啊 |
[01:05] | My husband has been gone for six months, | 我丈夫都滚蛋六个月了 |
[01:08] | so I think it’s time for me to embrace being single. | 我觉得是时候开始享受单身生活了 |
[01:10] | Message received. | “明白”了 |
[01:12] | I’m still waiting to hear from Jeff and Pierce. | 杰夫和皮尔斯 我还等着呢 |
[01:14] | I thought I shut your response from this pot phone here. | 我以为我用这破手机回复过你了 |
[01:17] | Access email. | 进入邮箱 |
[01:19] | Aren’t you going to Annie’s party? | 你不去安妮的派对吗 |
[01:20] | I have a complex, it conflicts the enjoyment of my life. | 我也纠结啊 但这跟我享受生活冲突了 |
[01:24] | I can not figure out the voice command part of this thing, | 我搞不清楚这手机的语音控制到底怎么用 |
[01:27] | it’s like my mother. | 跟我妈一样麻烦 |
[01:29] | Calling mother. | 拨号 母亲 |
[01:31] | What? | 什么 |
[01:32] | Speaking of enjoying life, I don’t want to be the dead horse here, | 说到享受生活 我不想只守着”未了情”这棵树 |
[01:34] | are you sure you don’t see anything non-platonic ever crystalizing between us? | 咱俩的柏拉图式感情 你确定不能升华吗 |
[01:39] | – I’m sure. – Okay, good. | -我确定 -那就好 |
[01:40] | Because one of my professors is really hot, | 有位美女教授很不错 |
[01:41] | I want to give you the first right of refusal. | 但我想着优先取舍权应该给你 |
[01:43] | Hello, Pierce. | 皮尔斯 是你吗 |
[01:45] | – Mum? – How’s school going? | -妈? -学上得怎样啦 |
[01:46] | Are you popular? | 你是风云人物吗 |
[01:48] | I head through a tunnel right now, I cuts… hang up… | 我进隧道了 我 断 线 |
[01:54] | Wrong number. | 打错电话了 |
[01:54] | Has that boy Jeff stopped teasing you? | 那个叫杰夫的男孩没有戏弄你了吧 |
[01:57] | I’ll just connect you a girl right now. | 我马上帮你找个小女伴啊 |
[02:01] | I saw your father’s ghost again, he’s still angry. | 我又见到你爸爸的鬼魂了 他还是很生气 |
[02:31] | The Bernoulli distribution is the number of successes | “伯努利分布”是指成功或失败的独立实验 |
[02:34] | in a sequence of independent yes-no experiments. | 形成的离散型概率分布 |
[02:38] | Okay. | 好的 |
[02:39] | Uh, for the quiz Monday, | 周一有测验 |
[02:40] | brush up on Chapters Three and Four. | 复习第三和第四章 |
[02:46] | Bernoulli’s one of my favorites. | 伯努利是我的心头好 |
[02:48] | Little-known fact, statistics were not his only love. | 鲜为人知的是 统计学并非其唯一所爱 |
[02:50] | He’s also famous for his french sauce | 他那用于肉禽菜肴的法式蘸酱 |
[02:52] | used on meat and poultry. | 可是明星产品 |
[02:53] | That’s bearnaise. | 那是蛋黄酱[发音近似Bernoulli] |
[02:54] | Oh, we may need to settle this at a restaurant. | 也许我们应该去一家餐厅解决这问题 |
[02:57] | It’s cute. | 这招还算可爱 |
[02:58] | A little aggressive. | 略带进攻性 |
[02:59] | But as a busy, confident woman of authority, | 但作为知识领域里的忙碌自信的女性 |
[03:01] | I’m attracted to men who take charge. | 我会被掌握主动权的男士所吸引 |
[03:02] | Are you being sarcastic, or am I nailing it? | 你是在挖苦我 还是我真的表现不错 |
[03:04] | You were nailing it, until you had to ask. | 本来不错 一问就前功尽弃了 |
[03:06] | Oh, damn it. Starting over. | 该死 重新来 |
[03:08] | Hey, you in the skirt, date me. | 穿裙子的女士 和我约会吧 |
[03:10] | I’d like to, Mr. Winger. | 我很愿意 翁格先生 |
[03:11] | You’re tall, you dress nice, | 你高大有形 穿衣有品 |
[03:12] | and I’ve graded enough of your tests | 加上批阅过不少你的试卷 |
[03:14] | to know I’d never feel mentally inadequate. | 我知道你绝对算个聪明人 |
[03:15] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[03:16] | Only problem, I don’t date students. | 只是有一个问题 我不和学生约会 |
[03:21] | You know if you agree to go out with me– | 如果你同意和我一起约会… |
[03:24] | Awkward. | 真尴尬 |
[03:25] | How small is this campus? | 这个学院真小 |
[03:26] | Bastard. | 混蛋 |
[03:28] | It’s fine. I don’t care. | 没事 我不在乎 |
[03:29] | It’s disgusting the way men behave. | 男人这样真恶心 |
[03:30] | Did you ever see that Katherine Heigl movie poster | 你没看那张凯瑟琳·海格尔的电影海报吗 |
[03:32] | where Gerard Butler had that heart over his weiner? | 杰拉德·巴特勒把那颗心放在他的”香肠”上 |
[03:34] | That resonated with me. | 一丘之貉 |
[03:35] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
[03:36] | But just to repeat, | 但我还得重申 |
[03:37] | I don’t care what Jeff does. | 我不在乎杰夫的所作所为 |
[03:39] | Bastard. | 混蛋 |
[03:40] | I’m barely a student. I’m older than you. | 说我是学生太勉强了 我比你还大 |
[03:42] | I drive a Lexus. | 我的车是雷克萨斯 |
[03:43] | I saw “Ghost Busters” in the theater. | 《捉鬼敢死队》我是在电影院看的[84年上映] |
[03:44] | Look, my gums are receding. | 我的牙龈都在萎缩了 |
[03:46] | It’s uncanny how many of my buttons you’re finding, | 你能说出这么多让我动心的闪光点太不可思议了 |
[03:48] | but I have a personal rule about this, and I stick to it. | 但我有自己的原则 我不会改变想法的 |
[03:51] | Have a cup of coffee with me. I bet I can change your mind. | 一起喝杯咖啡吧 我一定能改变你的想法 |
[03:52] | Oh, I know you can. | 我知道你可以 |
[03:54] | That’s why you’re not getting the chance. | 所以我不能让你得手 |
[04:00] | Are you coming to my dias de los muertos party? | 你会来参加我举办的”亡灵节”派对吗 |
[04:02] | I’m definitely gonna try to swing by. | 我尽量会去拜访一下 |
[04:04] | Then I can mark you down as definitely being there | 那么我可以把你算作一定会到场 |
[04:06] | from 7:00 sharp till “Upside-down Spanish question mark”? | 而且从准7点到”问号游戏”结束吗 |
[04:08] | – Here’s the thing… – No here’s the thing. | -是这样的… -不 是这样的 |
[04:10] | I am putting my foot down. You understand? | 我下定决心了 明白吗 |
[04:12] | I am being assertive, | 我表现坚决 |
[04:14] | and I am making eye contact, | 加上眼神交流 |
[04:15] | and it is achieving results. | 所以你必须得答应 |
[04:17] | Are you trying to get formidable with me? | 你这是想让我在钦佩下低头吗 |
[04:19] | It worked on Pierce. | 这招对皮尔斯很有效 |
[04:20] | Infomercials work on Pierce. | 电视购物说的对他都有效 |
[04:22] | Jeff, you’re the cool guy, okay? | 杰夫 你是酷哥啊 |
[04:25] | If you show up, it’ll be the first party I host | 如果你捧场 这将是我第一个成功的派对 |
[04:27] | where everyone doesn’t say | 大家不会在派对上说 |
[04:28] | they need to get home in time for the news. | 他们得回家去看新闻了 |
[04:32] | This won’t work. | 这招对我没用的 |
[04:34] | The last time you did this, | 上次你对我这样 |
[04:35] | I saved a vial of your tears | 我存了一小瓶你的眼泪 |
[04:36] | and have been slowly building up an immunity. | 已经渐渐产生抗体了 |
[04:37] | I was so unpopular in high school, | 我在高中一点都不受欢迎 |
[04:39] | the crossing guard used to lure me into traffic. | 交通协管员还让我在车流中当靶子 |
[04:43] | This party is a second chance | 这次派对是我的第二次机会 |
[04:45] | to be | 让我变得 |
[04:46] | hip. | 时髦 |
[04:48] | Cool! | 酷 |
[04:50] | Laidback! | 从容 |
[04:53] | Look, I will come to your party. | 好吧 我会去你的派对 |
[04:55] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
[04:57] | I’m putting you down for two bags of ice and a sleeve of paper cups. | 那我就记下来了 你会赞助我们两袋冰块和一筒纸杯 |
[05:15] | Taking a pill? | 在吃药吗 |
[05:19] | – Yes, I am. – Xenolovaden. | -是的 -乐威顿 |
[05:21] | My grandpa took that when he was around your age. | 我爷爷在你这个年纪也吃这药 |
[05:22] | Fantastic. | 好极了 |
[05:23] | Really helped with the going problem, | 对他的尿急很有帮助 |
[05:24] | but by the time grandpa got up in years, | 在他还能起身活动的那些年 |
[05:26] | his memory wasn’t great. | 记忆力就不行了 |
[05:27] | He’d mix the wrong pills. You know how old people are? | 他会把药弄混 你也知道那些老年人吧 |
[05:29] | Heard stories about it, yeah. | 我听过传闻 |
[05:30] | One time he started hallucinating | 有次他产生了幻觉 |
[05:31] | and ran down the street with no pants on. | 没穿裤子就跑到大街上了 |
[05:32] | Which in the gaza strip is considered a real party foul, | 这在加沙地带[主要居民为穆斯林] 绝对是社会所不容的 |
[05:35] | so you should probably be careful– | 所以你也许应该小心 |
[05:36] | Look, I really don’t need your advice, | 我真的不需要你的建议 |
[05:38] | and I’m not your pantsless grandpa. | 我也不是你那半截赤条条的爷爷 |
[05:40] | Pantsless grandpa. | 半截赤条条的爷爷 |
[05:48] | Scary. | 真可怕 |
[05:50] | Oh, cute! Cute. | 可爱 真可爱 |
[05:52] | Oh, Britta. | 布雷塔 |
[05:55] | You look adorable. | 你真可爱 |
[05:56] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[05:57] | I hate when women use Halloween | 我讨厌女性用万圣节这个借口 |
[05:58] | as an excuse to dress up like sluts, you know? | 把自己装扮得像个荡妇 明白吗 |
[06:00] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[06:03] | Okay, everyone. | 好吧 各位 |
[06:05] | I think we can begin. | 我想我们可以开始了 |
[06:07] | I’ve got everyone’s personalized cookie tombstones, | 我为大家准备了个人专属墓碑饼干 |
[06:10] | por tradicion. | 这是”依照传统” |
[06:12] | And in a few minutes, | 过一会儿 |
[06:13] | we’re going to start the dance of the dead– | 我们就开始跳”亡灵舞”… |
[06:16] | La danza de los muertos. | “忘灵舞” |
[06:17] | You don’t have to keep doing that! | 你不用一直冒西班牙语 |
[06:19] | Party on. | 派对开始 |
[06:27] | It’s nice of you to be here. | 很高兴你来了 |
[06:29] | Sure you’d rather be out with your hot professor. | 当然你更想和你的美女教授去约会吧 |
[06:31] | Well, it’s funny, I enrolled here as selfish loner, | 这很有趣 想当初我是个自私的独行侠 |
[06:33] | but you and the group have given me a crash course in friendship. | 但你和学习小组给我上了堂友谊速成课 |
[06:35] | – She blew you off, huh? – She’s grading papers. | -她拒绝你了吧 -她在批改试卷 |
[06:37] | Professor Slater? | 斯莱特教授吗 |
[06:38] | She’s not grading papers. | 她才没批改试卷呢 |
[06:40] | She’s at the faculty party in the cafeteria. | 人家在餐厅参加教职员工派对 |
[06:42] | Oh, look, it’s the eavesdropping matador. | 原来是偷听的斗牛士 |
[06:45] | – Are you saying my people are sneaky? – What? | -你的意思是我这行很卑鄙吗 -什么 |
[06:48] | There’s a storm building on the horizon, | 地平线上风暴正在集结 |
[06:50] | but you and I will save the night. | 但你我会拯救这个夜晚 |
[06:52] | Chex mix, pretzels, baby carrots, | 格格脆 椒盐脆饼 小胡萝卜 |
[06:55] | predictable but appetizing. | 我就知道是这些 但依然很有食欲 |
[07:00] | Can I ask you something I always wanted to ask the real Batman? | 我能问你个问题吗 我一直想问真蝙蝠侠 |
[07:02] | Yeah. | 可以 |
[07:04] | Am I good looking? | 我长得帅吗 |
[07:06] | – You’re a very attractive young man. – I knew it. | -你是很有魅力的小伙子 -我就知道 |
[07:12] | Let’s get this party started! | 大家尽情玩乐吧 |
[07:14] | Who are you? | 你这什么扮相啊 |
[07:16] | I am the Beastmaster. | 我是”兽王” |
[07:19] | From the movie Beastmaster. | 电影《兽王伏魔》里的[82年奇幻片] |
[07:22] | What rock have you been living under? | 你们从哪个星球来的 |
[07:25] | What are you going as? | 你这什么扮相 |
[07:26] | A gay douchebag? Just kidding. | 同志人渣么 开玩笑的 |
[07:28] | Nice one. I’m not much of a costume guy. | 很好笑 我对角色扮演没什么兴趣 |
[07:30] | I know, you’re not much | 我知道 你对美女 |
[07:31] | of a liking the ladies guy either, huh? | 也没什么兴趣 对吧 |
[07:32] | Body blow. Is that liquor? | 一拳命中 那是酒吗 |
[07:37] | Hello. | 你们好 |
[07:38] | – Here’s your drinks, mates. – Oh, thanks, Urkel. | -朋友 你们的饮料 -谢谢你 乌克 |
[07:40] | I’m Harry Potter. | 我是哈利·波特 |
[07:42] | Really? | 真的吗 |
[07:43] | What up, Urkel? | 乌克 还好不 |
[07:57] | All right. What are you taking? | 好啊 你吃什么药啊 |
[08:01] | You know, the usual cool stuff. | 一些常见的很酷的东西 |
[08:03] | I’ve got ‘ludes, uh, dreamers… | 我有镇静抗压片 好梦丸 |
[08:06] | Johnny boys. | 强尼组合 |
[08:07] | Tell you what. | 不如这样吧 |
[08:08] | I’ll trade you one of mine for two of yours. Hmm? | 我用我的一颗换你的两颗 |
[08:12] | I don’t know, Star Burns. I’m– | 我不知道 星霸 我 |
[08:14] | Oh, sorry. | 抱歉 |
[08:15] | I thought I was dealing with the Beastmaster. | 我以为自己在和兽王打交道呢 |
[08:16] | Hey, hey, who said you weren’t? | 嘿 谁说不是呢 |
[08:21] | Saddle up, fruit pie. | 换就换 小样儿 |
[08:23] | Don’t mind if I do. May I? | 我自己选 你不介意吧 |
[08:26] | Here. Take this. | 拿着这个 |
[08:28] | Give anyone that shows up their stupid credit. | 给到场的加那傻不拉叽的学分吧 |
[08:30] | You going to the faculty party? Make me your plus one. | 你是去教工派对吗 把我作为”派对伴侣”捎上吧 |
[08:32] | Ah, give it up, Winger. | 放弃吧 翁格 |
[08:34] | Professor Slater doesn’t date students. | 斯莱特教授不会和学生约会的 |
[08:37] | Or married Asians who drive mopeds. | 她对骑轻便摩托车的已婚亚洲男也没兴趣 |
[08:39] | Give you 20 bucks. | 我给你20块 |
[08:43] | I’ll bring the hog around. | 我去把小车车开来 |
[08:56] | Okay, it’s time for the dance of the dead. | 好的 “亡灵舞”时间到 |
[08:59] | Everyone form a circle. | 大家围成一圈 |
[09:01] | Lights. Music. | 灯光 音乐 |
[09:04] | Is it under genre or on a specific playlist? | 按流派放还是按播放列表放 |
[09:07] | Hey, uh, man? What’d you slip me? | 伙计 你给我吃的是什么啊 |
[09:10] | I keep grinding my teeth, and I want to kiss everybody. | 我不停的磨牙 见着人就想亲两口 |
[09:13] | What’d you slip me, man? | 你给我吃的是什么 伙计 |
[09:15] | My heart stopped racing, and I can’t pee. | 我的心不跳了 上个小号都困难 |
[09:18] | Now for the first dance, | 现在是第一支舞 |
[09:20] | I’d like to invite a very special guest to the floor. | 我想请我们的特邀嘉宾上场 |
[09:23] | Jeff Winger? | 杰夫·翁格 |
[09:29] | Jeff? | 杰夫 |
[09:31] | Where’s Jeff? | 杰夫到哪去了 |
[09:32] | Please slow down. | 请你慢点儿 |
[09:35] | – Please. – Stop cry, Winger. | -求你了 -别哭了 翁格 |
[09:39] | Is Jeff gone? | 杰夫走了吗 |
[09:42] | You know, I’m gonna go. | 我也要走了 |
[09:44] | I don’t want to miss the news. | 我不想错过新闻 |
[09:45] | News! | 新闻 |
[09:47] | He just stepped out. | 他刚刚出去了 |
[09:49] | He’s gonna be right back. | 一会就会回来 |
[09:53] | He’s going to the faculty party. | 他去教工派对了 |
[09:55] | To be with professor short skirt? | 去找短裙教授了吗 |
[09:57] | We hate her. | 我们讨厌她 |
[09:57] | No, it’s not about her, Shirley. | 不 不关她的事 雪瑞 |
[09:59] | I can’t believe that Jeff would do this to Annie. | 我不敢相信杰夫这么对安妮 |
[10:02] | Yes, absolutely. It’s about Annie. | 对极了 不能让他这样对安妮 |
[10:04] | We should go find that bitch’s car | 我们应该找到那贱人的车 |
[10:05] | and snap off her antenna. | 把她的天线折断 |
[10:09] | It’s like high school all over again. | 高中的那一幕重现了 |
[10:11] | Everyone’s leaving. | 大家都走了 |
[10:13] | Not me. | 我还在 |
[10:15] | I could do this all night. | 我整晚陪你都没问题 |
[10:18] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
[10:30] | There you go, pretty lady. | 美丽的女士 你的酒 |
[10:31] | What are you doing here? | 你来这干什么 |
[10:32] | Showing you my non-student side. | 给你看我非学生的一面 |
[10:34] | I have to admit, this outfit’s doing it for me. | 我必须承认 这身行头挺吸引我的 |
[10:36] | I may or may not have been deflowered | 我的第一次可能是 也可能不是献给了一个 |
[10:38] | by a junior rodeo champion. | 少年牛仔竞技比赛冠军 |
[10:39] | You’re reminding me of my first time too. | 你也让我想起了我的第一次 |
[10:41] | You lost your virginity to Robin Hood? | 你的童贞是被罗宾汉夺走的吗 |
[10:42] | No, with an attractive woman at a party. | 不 被派对上一位迷人的女性夺走的 |
[10:45] | We seem destined to repeat history. | 我们命中注定要重现历史了 |
[10:46] | I told you no students. It’s unseemly. | 我跟你说了我不和学生约会 这很不合适 |
[10:48] | I go out with you, you tell your friends, | 我和你在一起 你会告诉你朋友 |
[10:50] | – It gets around the school… – What friends? | -于是传遍了校园 -什么朋友 |
[10:51] | I have no friends. | 我没朋友 |
[10:52] | I hate everyone here but you. | 除了你 学校的人我都讨厌 |
[10:56] | What are you doing here? | 你来这儿干什么 |
[10:57] | What are you doing here? | 你又在这儿干什么 |
[10:58] | You should be over at the library with Annie… | 你应该在图书馆守着安妮的派对 |
[11:02] | Yippy ki yay. Thought you weren’t a costume guy. | 哎哟 瞧瞧 你不是说过对化妆派对没兴趣吗 |
[11:05] | You had to have one to get in here, squirrel. | 小松鼠 这里不穿这行头不让进 |
[11:07] | Oh, so where did you get it? | 那你是从哪儿弄的行头 |
[11:08] | ‘Cause I wouldn’t think that any costume stores | 我不觉得有什么戏服店 |
[11:10] | would be open this late. | 会这么晚还开门 |
[11:11] | – I don’t know what you’re getting at. – I think the words | -我不知道你想说什么 -我想 |
[11:13] | that you’re looking for are “I own a cowboy outfit.” | 你能下台阶的台词就是 “我有套牛仔行头” |
[11:16] | And it is tight too. Did you buy it like that? | 还很紧身呢 你故意买的这种效果吗 |
[11:18] | Your toy gun to my head, I’d say yes. | 你用玩具枪指着我的脑门 我会说是故意的 |
[11:20] | Hi. Michelle Slater, Ph.D. | 你好 我是蜜雪儿·斯莱特博士 |
[11:22] | Britta Perry, G.E.D. | 我是布雷塔·派利 同等高中学历 |
[11:24] | Oh, are you a classmate of Jeff’s? | 你是杰夫的同学吗 |
[11:25] | Oh, well, when you say “classmate,” | 你把”同学”说得变味儿了 |
[11:27] | it sounds like we take naps together and eat paste. | 感觉我们是一起午睡而且吞浆糊的”小同学” |
[11:29] | But what’s great about community colleges | 但社区大学的优势就在于 |
[11:31] | is that a lot of the students are just as mature as the teachers. | 很多学生和老师一样成熟 |
[11:34] | Jeff, you must return to Annie’s party. | 杰夫 你必须回安妮的派对 |
[11:36] | She’s feeling unpopular. | 她觉得自己不受欢迎 |
[11:38] | Jeff, Pierce took something, and he is tripping balls. | 杰夫 皮尔斯吃错药了 正发癫呢 |
[11:40] | He is touching people and dancing weird. | 他对人动手动脚 跳着奇怪的舞 |
[11:42] | It’s like “Grumpy Old Men” but not hilarious. | 就像是《欢喜老冤家》[93年喜剧电影] 却一点也不逗乐 |
[11:45] | Okay, uh, guys? | 听我说 伙计们 |
[11:46] | I’m at a grownup Halloween party, all right? | 我身处成年人的万圣节派对 明白吗 |
[11:49] | You’re all being unseemly. | 你们出现的不合时宜 |
[11:51] | – Oh, no. – How are we unseemly? | -不是吧 -我们怎么就不合时宜了 |
[11:53] | Why is Urkel ripping the antenna off professor Slater’s car? | 为什么乌克跟斯莱特教授的汽车天线过不去 |
[11:58] | That’s right, professor slim calves. | 没错 小腿细细的教授 |
[12:00] | This is what you get when you steal Jeff from a good woman! | 你把杰夫从好女人身边抢走 就会有这下场 |
[12:07] | No, Abed! | 不要 阿布蒂 |
[12:18] | – Is he meowing? – Yeah. | -他在学猫叫吗 -对 |
[12:21] | Enough. I want you guys out of here. | 够了 你们这些人都出去 |
[12:24] | Britta, I don’t care about your high school soap opera. | 布雷塔 我不在乎你的高中肥皂剧 |
[12:26] | Abed, you’re not Batman. | 阿布蒂 你不是蝙蝠侠 |
[12:29] | Pierce. Pierce. Pierce. | 皮尔斯 皮尔斯 皮尔斯 |
[12:31] | Stop grinding on the Women’s Studies Department. | 别用女性研究系的教授来磨牙了 |
[12:34] | You are too old to be tripping. | 你老得根本不能嗑药发癫了 |
[12:36] | I’m old? | 我老了吗 |
[12:38] | What do you mean old? | 我哪里老了 |
[12:43] | Whose hands are these? | 这是谁的手 |
[12:48] | Help me! | 救命 |
[12:49] | – Way to go. – I know I’m not Batman. | -真行啊 -我知道自己不是蝙蝠侠 |
[12:52] | You could try not being a jerk. | 你应该尝试抽离”混蛋”这个角色 |
[12:55] | She’s pretty hot. | 她非常诱人 |
[12:59] | Well, where were we, little doggie? | 我们刚才说到哪儿了 小宝贝 |
[13:01] | – Unseemly. – Yeah. Crap. | -不合时宜 -对 该死 |
[13:09] | Shirley? | 雪瑞 |
[13:16] | Shirley! | 雪瑞 |
[13:18] | This is professor Robin Hood’s office. | 这是罗宾汉教授的办公室 |
[13:19] | So what are you doing? | 那你在干什么 |
[13:20] | I’m putting this hose in her desk, | 我把这水管放进她桌子里 |
[13:21] | and you going outside to turn the water on. | 你出去把水龙头打开 |
[13:23] | Why? | 为什么 |
[13:23] | To teach that long-neck weave-having bank teller | 给那个长脖子卷发的银行出纳一个教训 |
[13:26] | she can’t steal another woman’s man! | 她不能抢别的女人的男人 |
[13:28] | That’s why. | 这就是原因 |
[13:34] | I have a confession to make. | 我还是坦白交待吧 |
[13:36] | I think some of what I just said | 我想我刚才说的 |
[13:38] | may have more to do with my situation. | 更多的是自己的事儿 |
[13:40] | Yeah, the long-neck, weave-having bank teller didn’t feel universal. | 我对长脖子卷发的银行出纳没共鸣 |
[13:43] | My ex-husband came by this morning, | 我的前夫今早来过 |
[13:46] | and he, uh, he asked for his ring back. | 他 他要回了结婚戒指 |
[13:50] | It was his mother’s, | 那是他母亲的 |
[13:50] | and he wants to give it to his new girlfriend. | 他要把戒指给他的新女友 |
[13:54] | Shirley, that sucks. | 雪瑞 这的确让人不爽 |
[13:56] | Don’t get me wrong. | 别误会我的意思 |
[13:57] | Best thing ever happened to me was him leaving. | 他的离去 是我人生中最棒的事 |
[13:58] | I just–I always thought he’d come crawling back, | 我 我总以为他会爬着回来 |
[14:01] | and I’d get to tell him, “go to hell.” | 我就可以对他说 “见鬼去吧” |
[14:05] | He couldn’t even give me that. | 他连这个都不想给我 |
[14:09] | You know what the crazy thing is, Britta? | 布雷塔 你知道离谱的是什么吗 |
[14:11] | Everything you’ve done tonight? | 你今晚所做的一切吗 |
[14:15] | It’s like I was too proud to admit I was hurt, | 就像是我太骄傲了 无法承认自己受了伤害 |
[14:17] | so I had to pretend that you were. | 所以我只能装作受伤的是你 |
[14:20] | I totally get that. | 我完全理解 |
[14:22] | I feel better now. | 我现在感觉好多了 |
[14:26] | Let’s go check on Annie. | 我们去看看安妮怎么样了 |
[14:32] | Can you believe I targeted this poor lady? | 不敢相信我居然拿这个可怜的女人当靶子 |
[14:34] | Look at all these awards. | 看看这些奖杯 |
[14:36] | I bet she’s nice. | 我打赌她是好人 |
[14:38] | Yeah. | 是呀 |
[14:40] | Nice and pretentious. | 自命不凡的好人 |
[14:52] | Pierce, are you okay? | 皮尔斯 你还好吗 |
[14:55] | Hey, man, what’s going on? | 伙计 怎么了 |
[14:57] | You have a foot-long erection. | 你下面无比坚挺 |
[15:00] | Just rela– Just relax. | 放松 放松一点 |
[15:02] | Pierce, relax. Just relax, okay? | 皮尔斯 放松 放松一点 好吗 |
[15:07] | You are too old to be tripping! | 你老得根本不能嗑药发癫了 |
[15:12] | Pierce… | 皮尔斯 |
[15:14] | You are too old to be tripping. | 你老得根本不能嗑药发癫了 |
[15:16] | Tell me about the Beatles, Pierce. | 皮尔斯 跟我说说披头士吧 |
[15:19] | Tell me about woodstock and sputnik, Pierce. | 跟我说说伍斯托克音乐节和人造卫星 皮尔斯 |
[15:37] | Do I feel a breeze here? | 我感觉这里有微风吹过啊 |
[15:38] | Because someone just struck out. | 因为某人刚才被振出局了 |
[15:40] | She blew you off too, Chang. | 昌 她不也把你吹得远远的 |
[15:43] | Is that what you had to fall back on? | 这样会让你心理平衡吗 |
[15:45] | Look at me, bro. Look at me. | 看着我 哥们儿 看着我 |
[15:47] | I’ve got the body of a fifth grader, okay? | 我这身材可是五年级小朋友的水平 对不 |
[15:49] | If I was working with what you’ve got, | 如果我有你这样的条件 |
[15:51] | she’d be at the Comfort Inn right now | 她和我现在就会在康福特酒店里 |
[15:53] | giving me a Mexican Halloween. | 用”墨西哥万圣节”体位做着呢 |
[15:54] | It’s this campus. | 这个大学 |
[15:55] | It feeds on my coolness. | 把我的魅力榨干了 |
[15:57] | I–I got no moves anymore. | 我无计可施了 |
[15:58] | Moves? | 计策? |
[15:59] | Everything’s a game to guys like you. | 对你这种帅哥而言 泡妞就像玩游戏 |
[16:02] | I know one move I bet you’ve never tried in your life. | 我有一招 我肯定你这辈子还没试过 |
[16:06] | What is it? | 是什么 |
[16:16] | Please sleep with me. Please. | 请跟我上床吧 求你了 |
[16:19] | Pretty please. I’m so lonely. | 求求你了 我很孤独 |
[16:21] | I haven’t slept with anyone in a very long time, | 我已经很久没有性生活了 |
[16:23] | and you are so good looking. | 你太漂亮了 |
[16:25] | Please do me the favor of having sex with me. | 求你做做好事 和我做爱吧 |
[16:32] | Okay, stay three steps behind | 好吧 离场时保持三步远的距离 |
[16:34] | and promise you won’t tell anybody. | 而且发誓你不会告诉任何人 |
[16:35] | I promise. | 我发誓 |
[16:37] | I promise. | 我发誓 |
[16:51] | Everybody, stay out of the library. | 所有人 别靠近图书馆 |
[16:54] | Pierce, it’s okay. Come out of there. | 皮尔斯 没关系 出来吧 |
[16:57] | No, I’m not ready to die! | 不要 人家还不想死呢 |
[16:58] | Pierce, you’re not gonna die! | 皮尔斯 你不会死的 |
[17:00] | – Look at me. – Just–just keep walking. Don’t make eye contact. | -看着我 -往前走 别跟人对视 |
[17:02] | Jeff. Jeff! Jeff. | 杰夫 杰夫 杰夫 |
[17:05] | Pierce is freaking out. | 皮尔斯抓狂了 |
[17:06] | You’re the only one that can help. | 你是唯一能帮他的人 |
[17:08] | What makes you think that? | 你凭什么这么认为 |
[17:09] | Is Jeff out there? | 杰夫在外面吗 |
[17:10] | He’s the only one who can help. | 只有他能帮我 |
[17:11] | He says he’s gonna kill himself, | 他说他要自杀 |
[17:13] | but he doesn’t want us to call 911, | 但不让我们报警 |
[17:14] | because he doesn’t want to get in trouble for taking drugs. | 他不想因为吸毒惹祸上身 |
[17:21] | I can’t believe I’m doing this. | 真不敢相信我会这么做 |
[17:25] | I, uh… | 我 |
[17:28] | I think I have to say goodnight. | 我想该说晚安了 |
[17:31] | Are you, like, a court-appointed guardian for these people? | 你是这些人的法定监护人吗 |
[17:34] | Uh, no. | 不是 |
[17:36] | Um, they’re my classmates. | 他们是我的同学 |
[17:39] | Goodnight, Jeff. | 晚安 杰夫 |
[17:46] | Loser! | 窝囊废 |
[17:57] | What in the Pink Floyd? | “平克·弗洛伊德”堡垒再现啊 |
[17:59] | I’m gonna crush myself to death with desks and tables, Jeff! | 杰夫 我要用这些书桌会议桌把自己活活压死 |
[18:03] | Is that a death befitting a Beastmaster? | 这死法对于兽王来说体面么 |
[18:05] | I never saw Beastmaster. | 我没看过《兽王伏魔》 |
[18:08] | I just wanted to be cool. | 我只是想扮扮酷 |
[18:10] | I’m coming in there, Pierce. | 皮尔斯 我要进来了 |
[18:19] | Those floating Mexican skeletons were right. | 那些飘着的墨西哥骷髅说的对 |
[18:22] | My life is over. | 我的死期到了 |
[18:23] | Well, when we go to floating skeletons with our problems, | 我们找飘浮的骷髅算命打卦时 |
[18:28] | we get what we pay for, don’t we? | 出什么价钱听什么话 对不 |
[18:33] | I’m old, Jeff. | 我老了 杰夫 |
[18:35] | Pierce, I don’t know how you spent the first 60 years, | 皮尔斯 我不知道你头六十年是怎么过的 |
[18:38] | but I know in the last two months | 但我知道在过去的两个月 |
[18:40] | you’ve probably doubled the national average for | 你或许过的比正常美国人 |
[18:43] | amount of life lived per lifetime. | 两辈子的生活还要充实 |
[18:46] | Well, I do have a young, African-American friend. | 我的确和一个年轻的非裔美国人做了朋友 |
[18:49] | Yeah. | 是的 |
[18:50] | And, more importantly, | 而且 更重要的是 |
[18:52] | you’re dressed like a gladiator | 你一身角斗士打扮 |
[18:53] | in a desk fort that you built during a bad trip. | 埋伏在自己于恐怖幻觉中建造的桌子堡垒里 |
[18:56] | If life is just a series of ridiculous attempts to be alive, | 如果人生在世 敢于荒唐不羁才算活着 |
[19:01] | you’re a hero to everything that’s ever lived. | 那你绝对是迄今为止能喘气儿的当中 最大的英雄 |
[19:04] | – Yeah? – Yeah. | -是吗 -是的 |
[19:08] | Yeah. | 好耶 |
[19:28] | – Batman? – Yeah. | -蝙蝠侠? -正是在下 |
[19:32] | Are you staying for the party? | 你会留下来参加派对吗 |
[19:35] | If I stay, | 如果我留下来 |
[19:37] | there can be no party. | 就不会有派对了 |
[19:41] | I must be out there in the night, | 外面的黑暗世界是我的领地 |
[19:42] | staying vigilant. | 保持戒备状态 |
[19:45] | Wherever a party needs to be saved, | 哪里有派对需要守护 |
[19:48] | I’m there. | 我就在哪里 |
[19:50] | Wherever there are masks, | 有面具的地方 |
[19:51] | wherever there’s tomfoolery and joy, | 有犯傻和欢乐的地方 |
[19:53] | I’m there. | 就有我的身影 |
[19:57] | But sometimes I’m not, ’cause I’m out in the night, | 但我的身影有时无迹可寻 漆黑的夜晚才是我的领地 |
[20:00] | staying vigilant, watching, | 高度警惕 留心观察 |
[20:02] | lurking, running, jumping, | 偷偷埋伏 跑跑跳跳 |
[20:05] | hurtling, sleeping… | 急速前进 躺下休息… |
[20:08] | No, I can’t sleep. | 不 我不能休息 |
[20:09] | You sleep. I’m awake. | 你睡觉的时候 我醒着 |
[20:11] | I don’t sleep. I don’t blink. | 我不睡觉 也不眨眼 |
[20:14] | Am I a bird? No. | 我是鸟吗 不是 |
[20:16] | I’m a bat. | 我是一只蝙蝠 |
[20:18] | I am Batman. | 我是蝙蝠侠 |
[20:21] | Or am I? | 我真的是吗 |
[20:23] | Yes, I am Batman. | 是的 我是蝙蝠侠 |
[20:28] | Happy Halloween. | 万圣节快乐 |
[20:32] | I’m Batman. | 我是蝙蝠侠 |
[20:33] | You sound like a Cookie Monster. | 听上去像饼干怪兽[幼儿节目《芝麻街》的人物] |
[20:34] | – I’m Batman. – That’s Batman. | -我是蝙蝠侠 -这才是蝙蝠侠 |
[20:38] | Candy corn looks like tiny traffic cones. | 玉米糖看起来像迷你交通路锥 |
[20:40] | Yeah, it sure does. | 没错 是很像 |
[20:41] | At, like, a candy traffic school. | 就像有个糖果交通法规学习班 |
[20:44] | Like, a little gingerbread man, at the wheel, | 有个姜饼人 开着车 |
[20:46] | and he’s drunk. | 醉酒驾驶 |
[20:48] | Look out. | 小心 |
[20:48] | You’d be driving, | 一直开着车 |
[20:50] | but you keep wanting to eat yourself. | 但就是忍不住想吃掉自己 |
[20:52] | All day. | 想了一整天了 |
[20:53] | That’s one of my biggest fears. | 这是我最大的恐惧之一 |
[20:54] | What is? | 什么 |
[20:55] | If I ever, like, woke up as a donut. | 如果有天我醒来发现自己是甜甜圈 |
[20:57] | You would eat yourself? | 你会吃掉自己? |
[20:58] | I wouldn’t even question it. | 没有片刻迟疑地吃掉 |
[21:00] | Mm. That’d be tasty. | 那一定好吃极了 |
[21:02] | It’s cool to know other people | 知道别人也在想这些事情 |
[21:03] | think about this stuff too. | 我觉得太酷了 |
[21:05] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[21:07] | Yeah. | 没错 |