英文名称：Jay and Silent Bob Reboot
年代：2019
推荐：千部英美剧台词本阅读
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [01:23] | 便利店 烟鬼鸡店 | |
| [01:42] | 烟鬼鸡店 烤鸡三明治 | |
| [01:46] | Oh, shit. Hey. Hey. What’s… What’s this all about? | 见鬼 这是怎么回事 |
| [01:50] | This is about Randall, isn’t it? | 是因为兰道尔对不对 |
| [01:51] | Randall Graves? I could take you to him. | 兰道尔·格雷夫斯 我能带你们去找他 |
| [01:53] | Seriously, I can. | 我真的可以 |
| [01:54] | Listen, guys, I’m not even supposed to be here today. | 伙计们 本来今天该来的都不是我 |
| [01:56] | One out of twelve. One out of twelve. | 有情况 有情况 |
| [01:58] | 特警队 | |
| [01:59] | – Gun. – Stand-by, | -拿枪 -待命 |
| [02:00] | suspects operating illegal marijuana dispensary | 嫌犯在烤鸡三明治店内 |
| [02:03] | inside baked chicken sandwich store. | 从事非法大麻贩卖活动 |
| [02:06] | I love this shit. | 我喜欢这个 |
| [02:07] | I finally get to arrest these motherfuckers. | 总算能逮捕这些混账了 |
| [02:10] | 烟鬼鸡店 烤鸡三明治 | |
| [02:21] | All right, you motherfuckers. | 好了 混账玩意 |
| [02:23] | I know you’re in there. Come out right now. | 我知道你们在里面 马上滚出来 |
| [02:27] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [02:40] | This is the Leonardo Police Department. | 我们是莱昂纳多警方 |
| [02:42] | You’re under arrest | 你们因涉嫌 |
| [02:43] | for suspicion of drug trafficking. | 贩毒被捕了 |
| [02:44] | Drop your plants now. | 立刻把草放下 |
| [02:48] | I said drop the motherfucking plants! | 我说立刻把草放下 |
| [02:53] | I’m the boss. He did what the fuck I said. | 我是老大 他按我说的做了 |
| [02:58] | What the… I said plants, not pants. | 什么…我让你把草放下 不是脱裤子 |
| [03:01] | – There’s nothing there, man. – That is a white dude. | -什么都没有 兄弟 -这是个白佬 |
| [03:03] | – What the fuck do you expect? – There’s nothing there! | -你指望看见什么 -什么都没有 |
| [03:06] | What the fuck, Sarge? | 怎么回事 警官 |
| [03:08] | This son of a bitch doesn’t have a dick. | 那个贱人没有小弟弟 |
| [03:09] | He’s got a fucking dick. He just got it tucked in. | 他有小弟弟 只是掖进去了 |
| [03:13] | All right, Buffalo Bill. | 好了 水牛比尔 |
| [03:15] | Where’s your buddy? Mr. Silence of the Lambs. | 你的兄弟在哪里 沉默羔羊先生呢 |
| [03:23] | Identify yourselves, motherfuckers! | 自报姓名 混账 |
| [03:26] | I’m Jay and this is my hetero lifemate, Silent Bob. | 我是杰伊 这是我的直男人生伴侣 沉默鲍勃 |
| [03:34] | 白烂贱客2 | |
| [03:48] | Home sweet home, right? | 回家真好 对吗 |
| [03:53] | Everyone say, “Yay, it’s Jay and Silent Bob.” | 大家一起说 “是杰伊和沉默鲍勃” |
| [03:58] | Well, just look at you two. | 看看你们两个 |
| [04:01] | Who the fuck are you? | 你是什么玩意 |
| [04:02] | I’m your lawyer. That’s who the fuck I am. | 我是你们的律师 就是这么个玩意 |
| [04:04] | Did anybody ever tell you how a courtroom works? | 有人告诉过你们法院是怎么运转的吗 |
| [04:06] | Okay. In the criminal justice system, | 好 在刑事诉讼中 |
| [04:09] | the people are represented by two separate | 人们由两个彼此独立 |
| [04:10] | yet equally important groups. | 又彼此平等的团体代表 |
| [04:12] | Dude, we’ve seen all the Law & Orders. | 老兄 我们看过《法律与秩序》全集 |
| [04:14] | 迪克·沃尔夫是《法律与秩序》电视剧的制片人 | |
| [04:14] | Oh, me too. Dick Wolf is a genius. | 我也是 迪克·沃尔夫是个天才 |
| [04:17] | I just love all of his shows so much. | 他的片子我都特别喜欢 |
| [04:18] | In fact, my Grindr name is Dick Wolfer. Remember that. | 实际上我的基达用户名就是迪克·沃尔夫尔 记好 |
| [04:22] | Oh, I almost forgot. Before I represent you, | 差点忘了 在我代理你们之前 |
| [04:25] | I’m gonna need you to sign these legal documents. | 你们得签订这些法律文件 |
| [04:29] | What? Read it first? | 什么 先看一遍 |
| [04:31] | I mean, come on. Who cares what that shit says? | 拜托 谁在乎上面都写了什么 |
| [04:33] | Just sign it. | 直接签吧 |
| [04:35] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [04:41] | I can’t believe that worked. Well, perfection. | 不敢相信这居然能行 完美 |
| [04:44] | I hope you’re both prepared to go home today, | 我希望你们都准备好了今天回家 |
| [04:46] | because I am the best lawyer in showbiz. | 因为我是娱乐圈最好的律师 |
| [04:49] | Seriously, I’m like the Dick Wolf | 真的 我就像是迪克·沃尔夫 |
| [04:50] | of getting guys off with my mouth. | 用我的嘴就能把人”弄出来” |
| [04:52] | But that’s why you hired me, am I right? Or am I wrong? | 所以你们才雇了我 对不对 我说错了吗 |
| [04:56] | But we didn’t hire you. | 但我们没有雇你 |
| [04:58] | – Small formality. – All rise. | -客套话而已 -全体起立 |
| [05:05] | 尊敬的杰瑞·N·执行官 | |
| [05:07] | Thank you. Be seated. | 谢谢 入座 |
| [05:11] | Docket number 37, People v. Jay and Silent Bob. | 第37号案件 人民诉杰伊和沉默鲍勃 |
| [05:14] | Jay and Silent Bob are back? | 杰伊和沉默鲍勃又回来了 |
| [05:18] | Charges are drug trafficking | 罪名是贩毒 |
| [05:19] | and running an illegal drug dispensary | 并且经营一家伪装成鸡肉三明治店铺的 |
| [05:21] | disguised as a chicken sandwich shop called… | 非法毒品店 店名是… |
| [05:27] | Cock Smoker. | 烟鬼鸡店 |
| [05:31] | Hello, boys. | 你好 小子们 |
| [05:33] | If you two are here, it must be a weekday, | 你们俩来了 那肯定是工作日 |
| [05:35] | but this isn’t a court appointed attorney. | 但那个人不是公派律师 |
| [05:37] | I spy one of those lawyers you have to pay. | 是那种要花钱的律师 |
| [05:39] | How do your clients plead, Counselor? | 你的委托人要怎么辩护 律师 |
| [05:44] | Not guilty, Your Honor. | 无罪 法官阁下 |
| [05:46] | I guess the weed grew itself. | 我猜大麻是自己长出来的 |
| [05:49] | People on bail? | 公诉人 |
| [05:50] | Hey, Jerry. | 杰瑞 |
| [05:51] | – How you doing? – So we the people would hope | -你好吗 -我们检方希望 |
| [05:54] | that Your Highness would remand custody. | 法官阁下能还押被告 |
| [05:58] | Cool? | 行吗 |
| [05:59] | And I imagine you see it all differently, Counselor? | 我猜你的看法截然不同 律师 |
| [06:02] | The Cock Smoker was neither eatery nor dispensary, Your Honor. | 烟鬼鸡店既不是餐馆也不是药房 大人 |
| [06:05] | It was merely a promotional pop-up shop. | 那只是一家营销快闪店 |
| [06:07] | This affidavit is from a Hollywood motion picture company | 这份证词来自一家好莱坞电影公司 |
| [06:10] | and this proves that my clients were nothing more | 证明了我的委托人只不过是在进行 |
| [06:12] | than paid performers for a real world promotional stunt | 实实在在的有偿营销表演 |
| [06:15] | in support of a forthcoming movie. | 以宣传一部即将上映的影片 |
| [06:17] | – We are? – Yes. | -我们是吗 -是 |
| [06:19] | We are. | 我们是 |
| [06:20] | So I ask that all charges be dropped since my clients | 我请求撤销一切指控 |
| [06:23] | – are so obviously innocent. – Easy. | -因为我的委托人显然是无辜的 -先别急 |
| [06:26] | They may be obvious but one thing | 他们显然很无知 |
| [06:27] | I would not call these two is innocent. | 但我可不会说他们无辜 |
| [06:30] | But for today, at least, they are not guilty. | 但起码今天 他们是无罪的 |
| [06:34] | Jay and Silent Bob, you’re free to go. | 杰伊和沉默鲍勃 你们被无罪释放了 |
| [06:37] | Case dismissed. | 结案 |
| [06:40] | Holy shit. What the fuck just happened? | 见鬼 刚刚发生了什么 |
| [06:42] | I set you free, butterflies, as promised. | 我依约给了你们自由 小傻瓜 |
| [06:46] | Remember Dick Wolfer on Grindr. | 记得基达上的迪克·沃尔夫尔 |
| [06:51] | Docket number 38, | 第38号案件 |
| [06:52] | Hollywood motion picture company v. Jay and Silent Bob. | 好莱坞电影公司诉杰伊和沉默鲍勃 |
| [06:59] | Who’s here representing Hollywood? | 谁代表好莱坞公司 |
| [07:03] | I am, Your Honor. | 我 法官阁下 |
| [07:05] | What are you doing? | 你在做什么 |
| [07:06] | This is only my second case of the day | 这才是我今天第二个案件 |
| [07:07] | and to tell you the truth, the whole truth, | 说实话 原原本本的实话 |
| [07:08] | and nothing but the truth… | 再老实不过的实话 |
| [07:10] | I already need a fucking drink. Jesus. | 我已经等不及想喝一杯了 老天 |
| [07:12] | Can we get this going, Counselor? | 我们能开始了吗 律师 |
| [07:13] | As you can see, I have a ton of cases | 如你们所见 我今天还有 |
| [07:15] | that we need to get through today. | 一大堆案件要审理 |
| [07:19] | Absolutely, Your Honor. | 当然 法官阁下 |
| [07:22] | Your Honor, my client, Saban Films, | 法官阁下 我的委托人萨班影业 |
| [07:25] | is seeking an injunction against the defendants | 请求因注册商标 |
| [07:27] | for copyright infringement | 杰伊和沉默鲍勃的知识产权的 |
| [07:28] | of the trademarked intellectual property Jay and Silent Bob. | 著作权侵权行为对被告下达禁止令 |
| [07:32] | Yo, this guy’s lying, Your Honor. | 这家伙撒谎 法官阁下 |
| [07:34] | Me and Silent Bob don’t own any property. | 我和沉默鲍勃没有任何房地产 |
| [07:34] | 此处把知识产权错误理解为聪明与房地产 | |
| [07:35] | We’ve never been intellectual about anything. | 我们从来就没聪明过 |
| [07:38] | Have your mouth take a knee. | 把嘴闭上吧 |
| [07:41] | Saban Films. | 萨班影业 |
| [07:43] | Didn’t they make the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers? | 他们是不是拍了《恐龙战队》 |
| [07:45] | Oh, man. You ever see the one where the red ranger | 老天 你看了红衣战士变成 |
| [07:47] | turns into the gold ranger? | 金色战士那集了吗 |
| [07:48] | – Dope. – That was years ago, Your Honor. | -牛逼 -那是好多年前了 大人 |
| [07:51] | Now they’re more of a multimedia company. | 现在他们更类似多媒体公司 |
| [07:53] | 《恐龙战队》里面 五架恐龙佐德可以组合成大机器人超级佐德 | |
| [07:53] | Does the multimedia combine into a giant Megazord? | 多媒体能组合成巨型佐德媒体吗 |
| [07:56] | Oh, shit. | 犀利 |
| [07:57] | – ♪ Go, Power Rangers ♪ – Deep cuts, Your Honor. | -♪ 上吧 恐龙战队 ♪ -一针见血 法官阁下 |
| [08:01] | Anyhoo, last year, Saban Films acquired worldwide rights | 总之 去年萨班影业在克雷格分类广告网 |
| [08:04] | to the campy old Bluntman and Chronic movie | 以三千七百美元的价格买下了那部下流老电影 |
| [08:07] | 《白烂贱客》中以杰伊和沉默鲍勃为原型的漫改影片 | |
| [08:07] | for about $3,700 on Craigslist. | 《直率人和慢性人》影片的全球版权 |
| [08:10] | They overpaid. | 他们价格出高了 |
| [08:12] | So, now, all the underlying rights belong to my client, | 因此 所有相关权利都归于我的委托人 |
| [08:16] | including, not only the titular characters, | 不仅包括那些角色的假名 |
| [08:19] | but their supporting secret identities as well, | 也包括他们的秘密身份 |
| [08:22] | the registered trademarks of Jay and Silent Bob. | 以及注册商标杰伊和沉默鲍勃 |
| [08:26] | Ergo, Your Honor, Saban Films owns their names. | 因此 法官阁下 萨班影业拥有他们的名字 |
| [08:31] | What? | 什么 |
| [08:32] | I said Saban Films owns your names. | 我说萨班影业拥有你们的名字 |
| [08:34] | Is there any paperwork to back up a claim this wild, Counselor? | 有书面文件证明这个大胆声明的吗 律师 |
| [08:38] | Oh, yes, Your Honor. | 有的 法官阁下 |
| [08:40] | I present contracts signed by the defendants | 我呈上由被告授予萨班影业 |
| [08:42] | giving Saban Films total discretionary control | 杰伊和沉默鲍勃的名字 |
| [08:45] | over the names Jay and Silent Bob. | 全部裁量权的合同 |
| [08:47] | That’s the paper we just signed? | 那是我们刚刚签的文件 |
| [08:50] | Will the defendants please rise? | 被告能站起来吗 |
| [08:53] | Oh, shit. We’re the defendants? | 见鬼 我们是被告吗 |
| [08:55] | This document confirms that Saban Films does indeed own | 这份文件证实萨班影业的确拥有 |
| [08:59] | the 2001 movie Bluntman and Chronic. | 2001年影片《直率人和慢性人》的版权 |
| [09:02] | What? That old ass star-studded piece of shit? | 什么 那个明星荟萃的垃圾片 |
| [09:05] | That movie sucked balls. | 那片子烂透了 |
| [09:07] | Not just balls. It sucked asshole too. | 不光是烂透了 烂穿地心 |
| [09:09] | Your Honor, I object. | 法官阁下 我抗议 |
| [09:11] | I’ll allow it. That movie did suck balls and asshole. | 我准许 那部片子的确烂穿地心 |
| [09:14] | Jay and Silent Bob, you are hereby legally prohibited | 杰伊和沉默鲍勃 你们由此被依法禁止 |
| [09:18] | from calling yourselves Jay and Silent Bob ever again. | 以后自称杰伊和沉默鲍勃 |
| [09:23] | You’re out of order! You’re out of order! | 你错了 你错了 |
| [09:23] | 影片《伸张正义》经典台词 阿尔·帕西诺凭此片获得奥斯卡最佳男主角 | |
| [09:26] | This whole fucking court’s out of order! | 这整个法庭都错了 |
| [09:29] | Somebody wants an Oscar. | 有人想拿奥斯卡呢 |
| [09:30] | 滨海商场 | |
| [09:35] | 请原谅我们遍地尘土 | |
| [09:36] | 别公然死在里面 | |
| [09:37] | 藏密计 | |
| [09:39] | 布罗迪藏密计 | |
| [09:40] | Why’d you move your store to the mall? | 你为什么把店铺搬到商场里 |
| [09:42] | Because apparently, I wanted to be alone… | 因为显而易见 我想独处… |
| [09:44] | 斯坦·李 | |
| [09:44] | Snoogans. | 逗你玩 |
| [09:46] | Nah, rent’s just cheaper here, | 这里租金更便宜 |
| [09:48] | on account of the mall is slowly dying. | 因为商场日渐萧条 |
| [09:51] | The old girl’s on her last legs, boys. | 这老姑娘快撑不住了 小子们 |
| [09:53] | So much so that you got to watch out for all the mall rats. | 生意太差了 我都必须留神商场老鼠 |
| [09:53] | 一般指喜欢逛商场的年轻人 字面意思即 商场老鼠 | |
| [09:57] | I… I didn’t see any kids here. | 我在这里没看到年轻人 |
| [09:58] | No, I mean the actual rats we got running around | 不 我是说真正的老鼠 |
| [10:01] | this abandoned shithole of a mall. | 在这个没人来的商场到处乱跑 |
| [10:03] | Hit the deck, boys. | 闪开 小子们 |
| [10:06] | Let me get this straight… | 我就直说吧 |
| [10:08] | you guys got busted for running an illegal pot shop | 你们因为顶着鸡肉三明治招牌 |
| [10:11] | inside a fake chicken sandwich store | 开非法大麻店被捕 |
| [10:13] | and the Hollywood lawyer you didn’t hire got you off, | 然后你们没雇过的好莱坞律师把你们弄出来了 |
| [10:16] | but then he somehow stole your names? | 但他后来又偷走了你们的名字 |
| [10:18] | And then the cops stole the weed we were working out for years. | 然后警察偷走了我们种了好多年的大麻 |
| [10:21] | And all we got left from the best bud in the world | 全世界最好的大麻只留下了 |
| [10:24] | are these three joints right here | 这三支大麻烟 |
| [10:26] | made from the flower of one of the three strains of gold. | 以三株金牌大麻之一的花制成 |
| [10:30] | I knew you guys were weed dealers, | 我知道你们之前在贩卖大麻 |
| [10:32] | but I never knew you were weed growers. | 但我没想到你们还种大麻 |
| [10:34] | Oh, we learned to grow from watching our favorite movie of all time, | 这是我们从最喜欢的影片里学来的 |
| [10:38] | How High with Method and Redman. | 马索·曼恩和莱德曼拍的《嗨到哈佛》 |
| [10:38] | 嗨到哈佛 | |
| [10:39] | They’re like the black Jay and Silent Bob. | 他们就像是黑人版本的杰伊和沉默鲍勃 |
| [10:42] | Holy shit. You guys still rent DVDs? | 见鬼 你们还租DVD |
| [10:45] | Never heard of Netflix and chill? | 没听说过”网飞约炮”吗 |
| [10:48] | One time we Hulu and humped, right? | 有一次我们”葫芦亲热”了 对吧 |
| [10:50] | But most nights, we Redbox and jerk off. | 但大部分晚上我们都是”租碟撸管” |
| [10:52] | So, how are you feeling about being busted? | 被逮捕感觉如何 |
| [11:07] | Lol. | 真好笑 |
| [11:10] | And on top of that, the judge told us | 不仅如此 法官还告诉我们 |
| [11:12] | we weren’t even legally allowed | 我们甚至都不能 |
| [11:13] | to be Jay and Silent Bob no more, | 再当杰伊和沉默鲍勃了 |
| [11:15] | because our names were bought by some assholes from Sbarro films. | 因为我们的名字被斯巴罗影业的混蛋买了 |
| [11:20] | You mean Sbarro’s? | 你是说斯巴罗餐馆吗 |
| [11:21] | Yeah, those pizza-making fucks! | 没错 那些做披萨的混蛋 |
| [11:23] | All because of some stupid movie that was made 20 years ago. | 就因为一部二十年前拍的电影 |
| [11:27] | It’s like, “Come on already, move on. | 真想说 “拜托 向前看吧 |
| [11:29] | The dishes are done, man.” | 盘子搞完了 老兄” |
| [11:31] | 片中台词”盘子都洗完了[打碎了]” | |
| [11:31] | Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead. | 《假日少女情》 |
| [11:33] | – A Keith Coogan classic. – Snoogans. | -凯斯·库根经典作 -逗你玩 |
| [11:36] | Well, you know, fellas, | 知道吗 伙计们 |
| [11:38] | I think your legal woes have less to do with the stupid old movie | 我想你们的法律困境和二十年前的老电影 |
| [11:41] | that came out 20 years ago, | 关系不大 |
| [11:43] | and more to do with the stupid new movie that’s coming soon | 而是和即将在你们附近影院 |
| [11:47] | to a theater near you. | 上映的新电影有关 |
| [11:53] | 今夏上映 | |
| [11:53] | Come on. | 不是吧 |
| [11:53] | 外星大冒险 | |
| [11:54] | Don’t tell me you guys have no idea | 别告诉我你们不知道 |
| [11:56] | there’s a new comic book movie being made | 根据那个基于你们俩的老漫改电影 |
| [11:58] | of the old comic book movie you two are the basis for. | 又改编了一部新漫改电影 |
| [12:01] | What, again? | 什么 又来 |
| [12:03] | And look, they took away my dick and made me a girl. | 瞧 他们弄没了我的老二 把我变成女孩 |
| [12:05] | I cannot believe they’re gonna remake this Bluntman bullshit. | 不敢相信他们要翻拍这直率人烂片 |
| [12:10] | It’s not a remake, it’s a reboot. | 不是翻拍 是重制 |
| [12:13] | What the fuck is a reboot? | 重制是什么鬼东西 |
| [12:16] | 萨班影业重制电影《直率人和慢性人》 敬请期待《直率人对慢性人》 | |
| [12:16] | Well, a reboot, boys, is when Hollywood wants to make a lot of money | 重制是好莱坞想赚大钱 |
| [12:20] | without the hassle of creating a new movie, | 又不想费劲创作新电影 |
| [12:22] | so they take an old movie and change just enough | 所以用老电影加以改变 |
| [12:25] | to make you pay for the same shit all over again. | 让观众再花一遍钱看同样的东西 |
| [12:27] | – Those greedy fucking animals. – It’s insidious. | -那些贪婪的禽兽 -特阴险 |
| [12:31] | They take a flick you loved as a kid | 他们把你小时候喜欢的片子 |
| [12:32] | and add youth and diversity to it. | 加入年轻元素和多样性 |
| [12:34] | For example, name the movie where a robot has secret plans | 比如 说出机器人有秘密计划 |
| [12:37] | that could help the good guys beat the bad guys | 能帮好人打败坏人 |
| [12:39] | and their leader in a black mask | 他们领头人戴黑色面具 |
| [12:41] | by blowing up a giant ray gun in space. | 在太空疯狂扫射激光枪的那部电影 |
| [12:43] | – Star Wars. – No. The Force Awakens. | -《星球大战》 -不 《原力觉醒》 |
| [12:46] | See, now, that’s what you call a reboot. Nang. | 瞧 这就是重制 棒极了 |
| [12:51] | I thought that was a sequel. | 我以为那是续集 |
| [12:52] | Hollywood doesn’t make sequels anymore. | 好莱坞已经不制作续集了 |
| [12:55] | Shit, they don’t even make squeakquels, yo. | 见鬼 他们甚至不拍《鼠来宝》了 |
| [12:58] | Studios have given up on new ideas entirely | 电影公司已经完全放弃了新电影点子 |
| [13:00] | in favor of building multi-movie universes | 更喜欢创造多电影宇宙 |
| [13:02] | that breed brand-loyal customers from cradle to grave. | 让忠于品牌的观众从生看到死 |
| [13:06] | So if you like Harry Potter, cashinigus, | 所以如果你喜欢《哈利波特》 好极了 |
| [13:08] | you’re getting ten fucking more. | 你还能再看十部 |
| [13:10] | You like The Fast and Furious flicks, | 你喜欢《速度与激情》 |
| [13:11] | we’re gonna drive the franchise into the ground, bitch. | 我们就把这个系列榨个干净 |
| [13:15] | You want another Marvel movie, here we go. | 你想要再来一部漫威电影 看吧 |
| [13:18] | Hey, man, those Marvel movies are a triumph of cinema. | 老兄 漫威电影是电影业的标杆 |
| [13:21] | I live on those Marvel movies. I live for those Marvel movies. | 我以漫威电影为生 我为漫威电影而生 |
| [13:24] | I watch those Marvel movies more than I watch Pornhub, | 我看漫威电影比看小黄片还多 |
| [13:27] | and I cum twice as hard doing it. | 爽感还翻倍 |
| [13:29] | Dishes are done, man. | 盘子搞完了 老兄 |
| [13:30] | Look, all I’m saying is, | 我想说的是 |
| [13:31] | if Hollywood doesn’t start making some original flicks now, | 如果现在好莱坞不开始制作原创电影 |
| [13:34] | there’s not gonna be anything to be reboot in ten years, | 十年后就没得重制了 |
| [13:36] | then they’ll just be rebooting the reboots. | 然后他们就会重制之前重制的 |
| [13:38] | It’s like we’re reaching point break for pop culture, | 就好像我们到了流行文化的惊爆点 |
| [13:41] | and it ain’t gonna be the good Point Break with Swayz-dog and Keanu. | 还不是斯威兹和基努拍的好片《惊爆点》那样 |
| [13:44] | It’s gonna be the remake. | 而是翻拍 |
| [13:45] | Wait. What’s the difference between a reboot and a remake? | 等等 重制和翻拍有什么区别 |
| [13:49] | Well, I’m glad you asked, Jay, | 很高兴你问了 杰伊 |
| [13:50] | because a remake is like a reboot | 因为翻拍就像重制 |
| [13:52] | where the studio doesn’t care | 不过是电影公司不在乎 |
| [13:54] | how the audience feels about the original movie, | 观众对原本电影的看法 |
| [13:56] | so, they just keep the title, fuck up everything else, | 所以他们只是保留电影名 搞砸其他一切 |
| [13:58] | and ruin both flicks in the process, see? | 同时毁掉新老两部电影 明白吗 |
| [14:02] | Which is probably what Bluntman v Chronic is gonna be, | 《直率人对慢性人》可能就是这样 |
| [14:05] | because the director of this impending abortion of cinema | 因为这部即将胎死腹中的电影的导演 |
| [14:08] | is none other than Kevin fucking Smith. | 就是该死的凯文·史密斯本人 |
| [14:12] | Who? | 谁 |
| [14:12] | You know, the guy who directed | 就是那个执导了 |
| [14:14] | that Bruce Willis winner, Cop Out. | 布鲁斯·威利斯的大片《拍档侦探》的 |
| [14:16] | That queef. | 那个蠢蛋 |
| [14:17] | 《长牙》 | |
| [14:17] | They still let him make movies after that walrus shit? | 海象烂片之后还有人让他拍电影吗 |
| [14:20] | What can I tell you, in Hollywood, | 我能说什么呢 在好莱坞 |
| [14:21] | people fail upwards. | 失败的人往上走 |
| [14:23] | I fucking hate stupid Kevin Smith, | 我讨厌该死的凯文·史密斯 |
| [14:25] | first, he took away our names, then he took away my dick. | 先是夺走我们的名字 又弄没我的老二 |
| [14:28] | Well, we gotta stop stupid Kevin Smith | 我们必须阻止凯文·史密斯这蠢货 |
| [14:30] | from making another shitty movie about Jay and Silent Bob ever again. | 再拍讲杰伊和沉默鲍勃的烂片 |
| [14:34] | Well, then, youse guys better get your asses to Chronic-Con. | 那么你们最好快去慢展 |
| [14:39] | – And what the fuck is this shit? – Chronic-Con, | -这又是什么鬼 -慢展 |
| [14:42] | 慢展 | |
| [14:42] | when it started out, it was a homegrown fanfest for people | 开始时是喜欢贾森·比格斯和詹姆斯·范德比克 |
| [14:45] | who love that campy old Bluntman and Chronic movie | 基情满满的《直率人和慢性人》电影的人 |
| [14:47] | with Jason Biggs and James Van Der Beek. | 自发的粉丝聚会 |
| [14:50] | Those guys, I saw them bitches get beat up by a monkey. | 那两个人 我看过他们被猴子痛扁 |
| [14:53] | But now, Chronic-Con’s morphed into an annual pop culture convention. | 不过现在 慢展转变成年度流行文化集会 |
| [14:56] | 第十届年度慢展 | |
| [14:56] | I don’t know how you guys would even get in at this point. | 我不知道你们现在还怎么入场 |
| [14:58] | Tickets are already sold-out. | 票已经卖光了 |
| [14:59] | Sold-out? After all these years, what kind of broken fucks | 卖光 这么多年了 哪些堕落鬼 |
| [15:02] | still wanna watch this Jay and Silent Bob bullshit anyway? | 还想看杰伊和沉默鲍勃的破事 |
| [15:11] | Well, enough to run an Omaze auction for a cameo in the reboot. | 足以办一个重制电影中小配角的网上拍卖 |
| [15:17] | Hey, man, it’s me, Kevin Smith. | 大家好 是我 凯文·史密斯 |
| [15:19] | You know, the filmmaker… | 就是那个拍电影的 |
| [15:20] | Look at this ugly motherfucker, probably got a tiny dick too. | 看这个丑陋的混蛋 可能老二也小 |
| [15:24] | Now, I got some big news for you, man, | 有个大消息要告诉你们 |
| [15:26] | we are shooting a key sequence to Bluntman v Chronic | 我们要在今年的慢展上 |
| [15:30] | at this year’s Chronic-Con, man. | 拍摄《直率人对慢性人》的关键场次 |
| [15:33] | This scene is so important. | 这个场景特别重要 |
| [15:35] | We cannot finish this movie without it. | 没有它电影就完不成 |
| [15:38] | So enter right now | 赶紧报名吧 |
| [15:40] | and maybe I’ll see you this Friday in Hollywood. | 或许这周五我能在好莱坞见到你 |
| [15:46] | Would you fucking stop? | 你他妈能停下吗 |
| [15:48] | Dick. | 混蛋 |
| [15:49] | Hollywood, where we struck back, yo. | 好莱坞 我们反击的地方 |
| [15:52] | You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. | 那里是人渣恶棍最集中的地方 |
| [15:56] | But that “director” just said they couldn’t finish the movie | 但那个”导演”刚刚说 |
| [15:58] | without the scene they’re shooting at this Chronic-Con. | 没有慢展拍摄的场景就无法完成电影 |
| [16:01] | So all we got to do is get to Hollywood, | 所以我们只要去好莱坞 |
| [16:03] | stop him from shooting that scene and biggity bam, | 阻止他拍那个场景 嘭嘭 |
| [16:05] | Kevin James can’t finish the movie. | 凯文·詹姆斯就完不成电影 |
| [16:07] | Ke… Never mind. | 凯…算了 |
| [16:09] | We got three days to get to Chronic-Con, | 我们有三天时间到慢展 |
| [16:11] | take our names back, | 拿回我们的名字 |
| [16:12] | rescue my dick from Kevin James | 从凯文·詹姆斯手中拯救我的老二 |
| [16:14] | and stop this reboot from ever happening. | 让电影重制永远不可能 |
| [16:16] | Come on, Silent Bob, we’re going back to Hollywood. | 走 沉默鲍勃 我们要回好莱坞了 |
| [16:20] | And on that note, we cue the music. | 这话一出 音乐起 |
| [16:34] | Have a great flight. | 一路顺风 |
| [16:36] | 佳南航空 | |
| [16:38] | Hi, there. Welcome to Southbest Airlines. | 你好 欢迎来到佳南航空 |
| [16:40] | How can I help y’all? | 有什么我能帮您们的 |
| [16:42] | “Y’all”? What kind of Jersey accent is that? | “您们” 这是什么泽西口音 |
| [16:44] | I’m from South Jersey. | 我是南泽西的 |
| [16:46] | Now, what can I do for y’all? | 有什么我能帮您们的 |
| [16:48] | Two tickets to Hollywood. | 两张去好莱坞的机票 |
| [16:49] | In coach, I’m assuming. | 我猜是经济舱吧 |
| [16:55] | That’ll be 337 a piece, boys. | 一张337 伙计们 |
| [17:00] | 去你妈的钱 | |
| [17:06] | How about we start with y’all’s names? | 不如先说您们的名字 |
| [17:11] | I am Don Juan Dela Nooch. | 我是唐·胡安·德拉·努赫 |
| [17:16] | And this is Senor Roberto Silencio. | 这位是罗伯特·沉默先生 |
| [17:21] | Those names sound kind of made-up. | 这些名字听起来是瞎编的 |
| [17:23] | Listen, lady, our real names are Jay and Silent Bob, | 听着 女士 我们的真名是杰伊和沉默鲍勃 |
| [17:26] | – but this morning… – Yeah. | -但今早… -嗯 |
| [17:27] | Kevin James, The King of fucking Queens, | 《皇后区之王》的凯文·詹姆斯 |
| [17:30] | stole those names. | 偷走了我们的名字 |
| [17:31] | I can’t book y’all under your fake names, | 我不能给你们用假名订票 |
| [17:33] | so why don’t I try Jay and Silent Bob, | 不如我试试杰伊和沉默鲍勃 |
| [17:38] | which also sound like fake names, I might add. | 我必须说 这也像假名 |
| [17:42] | Sorry, boys, | 抱歉 伙计们 |
| [17:45] | but it says here that you got a wait problem. | 上面说你们有等等问题 |
| [17:45] | 谐音超重问题 | |
| [17:51] | Weight problem? | 超重问题 |
| [17:53] | Are you saying he’s still too fat to fly? | 你是说他还是胖得不能坐飞机吗 |
| [17:55] | Are you fucking blind as Anne Frank? | 你像安妮·弗兰克一样瞎吗 |
| [17:58] | Silent Bob lost a bunch of weight, lady. | 沉默鲍勃瘦了很多 女士 |
| [18:01] | He went all vegan and shit, eating that v-gina. | 他变素食者什么的 吃素”鸡” |
| [18:05] | That’s not right. | 不是的 |
| [18:06] | I used to call him lunch box, | 我过去叫他饭桶 |
| [18:07] | but now I have to call him snack pack. | 现在只能叫他小吃包 |
| [18:10] | I used to say, “Fly, fat ass. Fly.” | 我过去说 “飞啊 肥猪 飞啊” |
| [18:12] | Now I have to say, “Fly, low-fat ass. Fly.” | 现在只能说”飞啊 低脂猪 飞啊” |
| [18:15] | Let me make something straight here, | 让我说明白 |
| [18:17] | I said, “Wait problem.” | 我说的是”等等问题” |
| [18:20] | And the… problem is | 问题是 |
| [18:21] | 等等 问题 | |
| [18:24] | that y’all can’t fly, | 您们不能飞 |
| [18:26] | because ya are on the No-Fly List. | 因为在禁飞名单上 |
| [18:28] | 禁飞名单 | |
| [18:30] | There is something here about a terrorist organization called The Clit. | 上面说有个叫”阴蒂”的恐怖组织 |
| [18:34] | The Clit’s not real. | 阴蒂不是真的 |
| [18:36] | Says every guy I ever dated. | 我每一任男友都这么说 |
| [18:39] | I’m sorry, but y’all can’t fly, | 抱歉 但您们不能飞 |
| [18:41] | because y’all are on the No-Fly List, | 因为您们都在禁飞名单上 |
| [18:43] | but you know what you could do, | 不过你们知道可以怎么做吗 |
| [18:44] | maybe you could Ride Me Now instead. | 或许你们能试试”现在上我” |
| [18:48] | Ride you now? | 现在上你 |
| [18:49] | Ride Me Now is a ride-share app. | 现在上我是个拼车应用 |
| [18:49] | 现在上我 | |
| [18:52] | So you just do one click | 只需点一下 |
| [18:54] | and Ride Me Now will send you a car | 现在上我就会派来一辆车 |
| [18:57] | and that car will take y’all wherever y’all wanna go. | 那辆车会带你们去任何想去的地方 |
| [19:00] | – Yeah? – Yeah. | -是吗 -是的 |
| [19:01] | Well then, fuck your planes, Joline. | 那你的飞机见鬼去吧 乔琳 |
| [19:04] | Okay. Bye-bye. | 好的 再见 |
| [19:07] | Go fuck yourself. | 去你妈的 |
| [19:15] | The app needs a credit card? Dude, what are we gonna do? | 这应用需要信用卡吗 老兄 我们怎么办 |
| [19:19] | You know what you do, you go fuck yourself, that’s what you do. | 知道你该怎么办吗 去你妈的 |
| [19:23] | No. You listen to me, you call center Khalifa, | 不 你给我听好 打给卡立法中心 |
| [19:26] | the dummy at the counter couldn’t find my reservation, | 接待处那蠢蛋找不到我的预约 |
| [19:29] | that’s why you’re gonna find my reservation | 所以你来找我的预约 |
| [19:31] | or I’m gonna have the both of you fired. | 不然我炒了你们两个 |
| [19:33] | Someone should teach that motherfucker a lesson. | 得有人给这混蛋一个教训 |
| [19:36] | All right. I’m gonna give you the credit card number again. | 行 我再给你说一遍信用卡号 |
| [19:38] | I’m gonna read it so slowly | 我会慢慢地 |
| [19:41] | and out loud in public so that you will understand. | 当众大声读出来 好让你明白 |
| [19:44] | All right. The name is Ted Underhill. | 名字是泰德·安德希尔 |
| [19:48] | Not Ed, Ted. | 不是艾德 泰德 |
| [19:50] | T… t… t… t. | 泰山的泰 |
| [19:53] | And the number is nine… | 卡号是9 |
| [19:57] | five… | |
| [19:59] | eight… | |
| [20:00] | four… | |
| [20:07] | Ted Underhill? | 泰德·安德希尔吗 |
| [20:08] | I’m Ted motherfucking Underhill. | 我是牛逼哄哄泰德·安德希尔 |
| [20:18] | 逗你玩 狂暴 酷毙了 | |
| [20:18] | Wait. You wanna smoke one of those unicorns now? | 等等 你想现在就抽一支独角兽吗 |
| [20:21] | Dude, we only got three left, man. | 老兄 我们只剩三支了 |
| [20:23] | And after we smoke them, they’re gone forever. | 我们抽完了 就永远没有了 |
| [20:25] | Let’s save them for a special occasion. | 留着到特殊时刻抽吧 |
| [20:28] | I say we smoke this little bitch. | 我们不如抽这个小婊子吧 |
| [20:35] | Oh, come on, man. I roll a perfect Silent Bob | 拜托 我做成了这个完美的沉默鲍勃 |
| [20:38] | and you’re pissed about it? | 你却不喜欢 |
| [20:39] | This motherfucker belongs in a museum, son. | 这玩意应该拿到博物馆里珍藏 |
| [20:43] | Light it up. | 点上吧 |
| [20:54] | I’m almost glad you guys are smoking back there. | 你们在后座抽烟 我其实还挺高兴的 |
| [20:57] | I was driving someone about a week ago | 我一周前载过一个人 |
| [20:59] | and he took a, uh, big shit in the back seat. | 他在后排拉了一大泡 |
| [21:03] | I had no idea until the next passenger found it. | 直到下一位乘客发现之前我都不知道 |
| [21:06] | It was everywhere. | 到处都是 |
| [21:09] | You have no idea how hard it is | 你们根本不知道 |
| [21:10] | to get the smell of shit out of pleather. | 除去人造革座椅上的屎味有多难 |
| [21:12] | I mean, it just stays there, really, it’s like a ghost. | 那味道久久不散 跟鬼魂一样 |
| [21:16] | You guys are my first two passengers since that big shit. | 那泡屎之后你们是我载的第一单客人 |
| [21:20] | I’m your driver by the way, Todd Merkinsky. | 对了 我是你们的司机托德·梅尔金斯基 |
| [21:22] | Nice to meet you. | 很高兴见到你们 |
| [21:23] | Oh, Merkinsky. I will call you Merkin. | 梅尔金斯基 我叫你梅尔金好了 |
| [21:29] | Todd would be better. | 还是叫我托德吧 |
| [21:30] | Why does your car smell like French fries, Merkin? | 你的车里怎么一股炸薯条味 梅尔金 |
| [21:33] | Because in my car, guess what I have instead of gum, | 因为在我车里 没有口香糖 取而代之的是 |
| [21:37] | I have tater tots. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. | 薯球 烫 烫 烫 |
| [21:40] | You got tater tots up in this bitch, | 你车里居然有薯球 |
| [21:42] | where you’d get them? | 哪来的啊 |
| [21:43] | Well, I’m a businessman, an entrepreneur, | 我是一名商人 一名创业者 |
| [21:46] | and, uh, I had a business idea, teen girls love tater tots. | 我有很多商业想法 小姑娘们都喜欢薯球 |
| [21:51] | So I came up with Hater Totz. | 所以我就推出了”黑子薯球” |
| [21:55] | Got a little, uh, quiz on there, | 上面有小测试 |
| [21:57] | you know, is your BFF really the bezt | 测验你的好闺蜜是不是真心的 |
| [21:59] | and it’s kind of like a, I don’t know, | 有点像 说不准 |
| [22:01] | TigerBeat on a box of tater tots. | 薯球盒子上的《老虎队》杂志吧 |
| [22:01] | 美国青春偶像杂志 | |
| [22:03] | And those tween girls, | 现在的小姑娘 |
| [22:05] | they still love that TigerBeat, right? | 还是很喜欢《老虎队》吧 |
| [22:08] | Right? | 对吧 |
| [22:08] | I’m wrong. I was very wrong. | 我错了 大错特错 |
| [22:11] | Hater Totz means different things to different people. | “黑子薯球”对不同人的意义不同 |
| [22:14] | What do I mean by that? | 我这么说是什么意思呢 |
| [22:16] | Well, Hater Totz started attracting a customer base | “黑子薯球”开始吸引来一些我始料未及 |
| [22:20] | I never wanted or asked for… | 也并不愿接受的顾客群体 |
| [22:24] | white nationalists. | 白人民族主义者 |
| [22:26] | Can you believe it? How did they even hear about it? | 你们相信吗 他们是怎么知道的 |
| [22:28] | So, I shut down. I just declared bankruptcy and now, well… | 所以我倒闭了 我刚宣布破产 现在 |
| [22:33] | I serve these leftover tater tots to all my riders, | 这些剩余的薯球我就提供给我的乘客了 |
| [22:35] | F-O-C, free of charge. | 免费的 |
| [22:38] | Take as many tater tots as you want, | 你想要多少就拿多少 |
| [22:40] | eat all the tater tots you take. | 想吃多少都可以 |
| [22:42] | By the way, I don’t know if my app is wrong, | 对了 不知道是不是我的手机软件不对 |
| [22:44] | but, uh, it says here you’re supposed to go to Hollywood? | 你们是要去好莱坞吗 |
| [22:48] | All right. That’s very, very far. I’ll make you a deal. | 好吧 路非常远 我来和你们做个交易 |
| [22:51] | I’ll drive you all the way to Hollywood, California. | 我把你们一路送到加州的好莱坞 |
| [22:54] | You give me a big tip and some amazing feedback. | 你们要给我丰厚的小费和五星好评 |
| [22:57] | Deal-io Emilio. Now, drive, Miss Daisy. Drive. | 完全没问题 开吧 黛西小姐 开吧 |
| [23:01] | All right. Here we go. Hollywood. | 好的 走吧 好莱坞 |
| [23:09] | Remember me? | 记得我吗 |
| [23:11] | I’m Loki, the Angel of Death from Dogma. | 我是洛基 《怒犯天条》里的死亡天使 |
| [23:15] | Now, if your kids are looking at you right now like, | 要是你的孩子现在看着你说 |
| [23:16] | “That’s not Tom Hiddleston,” | “这人不是汤姆·希德勒斯顿” |
| [23:18] | just tell them I was Loki in the ’90s, before it was cool. | 告诉他们我是90年代 还没流行之前的洛基 |
| [23:21] | And I did it without the fake British accent. | 而且我也没用假装英国口音 |
| [23:24] | Anyway, for 20 years now people ask, | 总之 20年来 人们一直在问 |
| [23:27] | “What happened to Loki at the end of Dogma? | “《怒犯天条》的结局里 洛基怎么了 |
| [23:29] | Did he go to hell?” | 他下地狱了吗” |
| [23:31] | 当然不是啦[常用Hell no]Heavens no. | |
| [23:33] | Pun intended. But I did almost unmake existence, | 我故意玩的哏 但我确实差点毁灭世界 |
| [23:36] | so as punishment, | 所以作为惩罚 |
| [23:37] | God, who looks exactly like Alanis Morissette, | 那个和艾拉妮丝·莫莉塞特长得一样的上帝 |
| [23:39] | banished me to life on earth again, | 又把我流放到了地球上 |
| [23:42] | but not Wisconsin this time. Thank, Christ. No. | 但这次不在威斯康辛 谢天谢地不是了 |
| [23:45] | God dropped me in the Mediterranean Sea | 上帝把我丢到了地中海 |
| [23:47] | where I was rescued by Italian fisherman. | 我在那里被意大利渔民所救 |
| [23:50] | I didn’t even know who I was anymore. | 我都不知道我是谁了 |
| [23:51] | I had total amnesia. | 我完全失忆了 |
| [23:53] | So, after the events of Dogma, | 所以在《怒犯天条》事件之后 |
| [23:55] | I guess you could say I was born again. | 你们可以说我得到了重生 |
| [23:58] | And what you’re looking at now is… | 你们现在看到的是 |
| [24:00] | 圣经 | |
| [24:01] | 音似《谍影重重》 | |
| [24:01] | wait for it, my reborn identity. | 听清楚了 我的重生身份 |
| [24:05] | Oh, shit. Pun game on point. | 靠 又是一个恰到好处的哏 |
| [24:08] | You just got touched by an angel, son. | 你刚刚见证神迹了 孩子 |
| [24:12] | Anyway, after driving for half a day, | 总之 行驶了半天之后 |
| [24:15] | 欢迎光临 请向前 前方点单 | |
| [24:15] | Jay and Silent Bob stopped in Chicago, | 杰伊和沉默鲍勃在芝加哥停了下来 |
| [24:18] | where their lives would change forever. | 他们的人生将在那里永远改变 |
| [24:34] | Oh, yeah. Cha-cha-cha-cha. Nice driving, Merkin. | 好啊 开得真不错 梅尔金 |
| [24:38] | Oh, thanks, Misters Underhill. | 谢谢 安德希尔先生们 |
| [24:40] | To be honest, I’m glad you wanted to stop. | 说实话 你们想停车我还挺高兴 |
| [24:42] | No offense, but, uh, your cigarettes are kind of strong. | 无意冒犯 但你们的烟味太重了 |
| [24:45] | We ain’t smoking cigarettes, we smoking that weed. | 我们又没抽烟 我们抽的是大麻 |
| [24:49] | You’re smoking marijuana? | 你们在抽大麻 |
| [24:55] | You guys are so brave. | 你们可真敢 |
| [24:58] | I’m always scared to be busted by the cops, | 我总害怕被警察抓住 |
| [24:59] | so I’ve never tried weed my entire life. | 所以我一辈子都没尝试过大麻 |
| [25:08] | What? Wait a second. Wait… | 什么 等等 等等… |
| [25:10] | No. You wanna give him one of those? | 不是吧 你要给他一根 |
| [25:11] | You just heard the man, he’s never smoked in his life | 你听到他的话了吧 他这辈子都没抽过 |
| [25:13] | and you wanna bust his green cherry | 而你要用我们仅剩的黄金品种 |
| [25:15] | with one of our last strains of gold we have left? | 为这个菜鸟开苞 |
| [25:18] | Dude, what are you thinking, bro? | 伙计 你在想什么呢 |
| [25:19] | 联合泽西经销商兄弟会 地方工会404会员卡 沉默鲍勃 | |
| [25:21] | Jersey Local 404. | 泽西地方工会404 |
| [25:23] | Jersey makes, the whole world bakes. | 泽西产 世界享 |
| [25:25] | We feed every need for weed, son. | 所有的大麻需求我们都能满足 |
| [25:29] | Merkin, this is gonna change your life. | 梅尔金 这会改变你的人生 |
| [25:32] | Change it. | 改变 |
| [25:37] | Here you go, boss. | 交给你了 老大 |
| [25:46] | Yeah. | 好 |
| [25:52] | Fuck me up the vegan ass. I’m gonna get my cow tipper on. | 去他的素食狗屁 我要吃牛肉汉堡 |
| [26:12] | Mr. Underhill. | 安德希尔先生 |
| [26:14] | Mr. Underhill. Mr. Underhill. | 安德希尔先生 安德希尔先生 |
| [26:20] | Welcome to Moo-by’s. | 欢迎光临哞哞餐厅 |
| [26:22] | What are you in the moo-d for today? | 你今天的心情很哞吗 |
| [26:26] | Let me get one of those Moo-ilk shakes | 给我一杯哞奶昔 |
| [26:30] | and a cow tipper with fries. | 一个牛肉汉堡加薯条 |
| [26:32] | 直译意思是”把阴部的毛剃光” | |
| [26:32] | And, oh, let me get one of those fur burgers Brazilian style | 再单点一份汉堡 |
| [26:36] | for our chauffer outside. | 给我们外面的司机吃 |
| [26:38] | Cool. | 行 |
| [26:43] | What? You want me to order for you? | 什么 你要我帮你点单 |
| [26:45] | I don’t want your v-gina touching my burgers. | 我才不要你的素食毁了我的汉堡大餐 |
| [26:47] | Come on, dude. That’s why you don’t get laid, sir, | 拜托 就是因此才没女孩和你上床 |
| [26:50] | because women love meat in their mouth, | 因为女人喜欢吃到肉 |
| [26:52] | and you ain’t nothing but a broccoli bitch. | 而你就是个破花椰菜 |
| [26:54] | So, if you wanna order your healthy veggies, | 所以如果你想点你的健康素食 |
| [26:57] | open your mouth, do it yourself. | 张嘴自己点 |
| [26:59] | I’m gonna go drop a deuce. | 我去上大号 |
| [27:07] | You in the moo-d for anything else? | 你想哞点什么吗 |
| [27:21] | You did not just offer me your old man dick. | 你不会是要给我看你这个老头的老二吧 |
| [27:25] | Okay. Fine. Whip it out. Come on. Just whip it out. | 行吧 甩出来 来啊 甩出来 |
| [27:29] | – Ms. McKenzie! – What the fuck is going on here? | -麦肯基女士 -怎么回事 |
| [27:33] | This old fool just egg-planted me. | 这个老蠢货给我玩茄子哏 |
| [27:36] | I’m 47 and I have no idea what that means. | 我47岁了 我完全不懂你说的是什么意思 |
| [27:39] | Now this dirty old assfuck’s in here | 这个肮脏的老混蛋 |
| [27:40] | trying to show us his dirty old-ass dick, Ms. McKenzie, | 想给我看他肮脏的老二 麦肯基女士 |
| [27:43] | so bust his ass. | 所以削他 |
| [27:48] | Okay, sir. You’re gonna have to come with me. | 好的 先生 请你和我来 |
| [27:50] | This way. | 这边走 |
| [28:09] | Congratulations, Flappy. You deserve it. | 恭喜 小飞 这是你应得的 |
| [28:12] | And now with the forecast, here’s News 10’s meteorologist, | 接下来请出的是新闻10台的气象学家 |
| [28:15] | Justice Falcon. | 贾斯蒂丝·法尔肯 |
| [28:16] | What’s the weather going to be tomorrow? | 明天的天气如何 |
| [28:18] | We are gonna get so much rain, | 明天有很多降雨 |
| [28:19] | I’m getting wet just thinking about it. | 我光想想就觉得湿了 |
| [28:23] | Justice? | 贾斯蒂丝 |
| [29:35] | Holy shit, Silent Bob. | 我的天 沉默鲍勃 |
| [29:36] | Look, it’s my long-lost ex-girlfriend, | 看 是我失散多年的前女友 |
| [29:38] | Boo Boo Kitty Fuck. | 布布猫 |
| [29:40] | Oh, shit. Is he having a stroke? | 该死 他是中风了吗 |
| [29:42] | Yo, Mary, I used to knock boots | 这位小姐 我以前和这位天气主播 |
| [29:44] | with the weather lady, all right? | 上过床 好吧 |
| [29:45] | So I’m gonna go find her | 所以我要去找她 |
| [29:46] | and I’m gonna give her a warm front | 给她一个”暖锋” |
| [29:48] | with a possible low of 69. Snoogans. | 可能会低至”69″ 逗你玩 |
| [29:55] | You want a burger for lunch? | 午餐要吃汉堡吗 |
| [29:58] | No thanks. I just ate some vegan. | 不了 谢谢 我刚尝过素食者了 |
| [30:09] | Holy shit, Merkin’s gone. | 我的天 梅尔金不见了 |
| [30:11] | That entrepreneurial fuck. | 那个创业的混蛋 |
| [30:14] | And your dumbass gave him | 而你这个蠢货还给了他 |
| [30:15] | one of the last three strains of gold we had left. | 我们仅剩的三支黄金品种里的一支 |
| [30:18] | Let’s write him a nasty review. | 我们给他个差评 |
| [30:22] | Type this shit, | 这么评价 |
| [30:24] | “Motherfucker, you’re gonna pay. | “天杀的 你会遭报应的 |
| [30:26] | You are the one who is the Hater Tot. | 你才是那个黑子薯球 |
| [30:29] | Fuck your frozen food dreams. | 去你的速冻食品美梦吧 |
| [30:32] | Do you even know what a merkin is? | 你知道梅尔金是什么吗 |
| [30:34] | It is a pube toupee. | 就是假阴毛 |
| [30:36] | So why don’t you live up to your name | 所以你就像你的名字一样 |
| [30:38] | and go sit on some bald dick.” | 找个没毛的屌粘上去吧” |
| [30:56] | Lady, lady, lady, | 女士 女士 女士 |
| [30:57] | Jay and Silent Bob are at your hizouse. | 杰伊与沉默鲍勃来到了你家 |
| [31:01] | Holy shit. | 我去 |
| [31:05] | Dude, she’s so excited to see me, she fainted. | 兄弟 她看到我太激动了 都晕倒了 |
| [31:08] | Look at that shit, man. | 快看啊 |
| [31:10] | When she wakes up, I’ll be like, | 等她醒来 我就说 |
| [31:11] | “Come, son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod.” | “来吧 乔艾尔之子 在佐德面前下跪吧” |
| [31:11] | 乔艾尔之子即超人 后者为反派 | |
| [31:21] | Sleep, big boy, sleep. | 睡吧 小子 睡吧 |
| [31:32] | Holy fuck! | 我靠 |
| [31:37] | What the fuck is this? | 这是什么鬼 |
| [31:38] | What the fuck is this? | 这是什么鬼 |
| [31:40] | What the fuck are you even doing here, Jay? | 你在这里做什么 杰伊 |
| [31:42] | I missed you, Boo Boo Kitty Fuck. | 我想你了 布布猫 |
| [31:45] | You remembered. | 你还记得 |
| [31:48] | – I missed you too. – Yeah? | -我也想你 -是吗 |
| [31:51] | Old friend. | 老朋友 |
| [31:53] | Old friend? No, bro. | 老朋友 不是 |
| [31:54] | I’m like a super friend, all right? | 我可是你的超好朋友 好吧 |
| [31:56] | A super friend who wants to get back | 一位想要重回贾斯蒂丝”圣殿”的 |
| [31:58] | inside the hall of Justice, yeah. | 超好朋友 没错 |
| [32:02] | Okay. Sit down. | 好吧 坐下 |
| [32:09] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [32:12] | I’m married, Jay. | 我结婚了 杰伊 |
| [32:15] | You’re fucking married? | 你他妈结婚了 |
| [32:17] | – Yeah. – What about us? | -是的 -那我们怎么办 |
| [32:20] | Us? | 我们 |
| [32:21] | I haven’t heard from you in 18 years, Jay. | 我已经18年没你的消息了 杰伊 |
| [32:23] | I mean, you never even came to see me when I was in jail. | 连我在监狱里你都没来看过我 |
| [32:26] | That’s because they wouldn’t let us fuck. | 那是因为他们不允许我们搞 |
| [32:29] | Is that why you never visited? | 这就是你从不来探视的原因吗 |
| [32:33] | Oh, my gosh. And all this time, | 老天 一直以来 |
| [32:35] | I just thought you were mad at me. | 我以为你在生我的气 |
| [32:38] | Why would I be mad at you, Boo Boo Kitty Fuck? | 我为什么要生你的气 布布猫 |
| [32:41] | Because I never told you I had a baby. | 因为我从未告诉你我有孩子了 |
| [32:46] | You’re someone’s fucking mom now? | 你他妈现在当妈了 |
| [32:48] | Yes, you big goof. | 是啊 你个大笨蛋 |
| [32:50] | And, uh, I thought you’d be upset if you ever found out | 而且 我想如果你知道了孩子的父亲是谁 |
| [32:54] | who the father is. | 会很生气 |
| [32:55] | Wait, why? Who’s the father? Is it Silent Bob? | 为什么 谁是孩子他爸 是沉默鲍勃吗 |
| [33:00] | No, Jay. | 不是 杰伊 |
| [33:05] | It’s you. | 是你 |
| [33:20] | I have a fucking kid? | 我他妈有个孩子 |
| [33:22] | We have a kid. A daughter. | 是我们俩有个孩子 一个女儿 |
| [33:24] | I have a girl daughter? | 我有个女的女儿 |
| [33:26] | Why the fuck didn’t you tell me, man? | 你他妈为什么不告诉我 |
| [33:28] | We could’ve been a family this whole time. | 我们本可以成为一家人 |
| [33:31] | A family? | 一家人 |
| [33:33] | Jay, you’re a great guy | 杰伊 你是个很棒的人 |
| [33:36] | and you have a million-dollar heart. | 你有一颗特别纯真的心 |
| [33:39] | A nickel head, but a million-dollar heart. | 虽然蠢蠢的 但是很纯真 |
| [33:44] | All you ever needed in life was Silent Bob and… | 你生命里所需要的 仅仅是沉默鲍勃 |
| [33:48] | a good bag of weed. | 和一大袋子大麻 |
| [33:51] | But a baby needs a home and stability. | 但是一个婴儿需要一个家和安稳的环境 |
| [33:55] | I’m stable as a table. | 我就跟一张桌子一样稳定 |
| [33:57] | Yeah. Right. What… What are you doing in Chicago anyway? | 才怪 你到底来芝加哥干嘛 |
| [34:01] | Me and Silent Bob are going to Hollywood | 我和沉默鲍勃要去好莱坞 |
| [34:03] | to stop these fuckers from making a movie about us. | 阻止那些混蛋拍一部有关于我俩的电影 |
| [34:07] | Sounds familiar. | 听起来似曾相识 |
| [34:09] | Jay, you’re a nice guy and you’re a lot of fun. | 杰伊 你人特别好 和你相处非常愉快 |
| [34:15] | But if I’m being honest here… | 但要我说实话 |
| [34:19] | I really don’t think you’re dad material. | 我真的不认为你是当父亲的料 |
| [34:29] | But you’re here now, so maybe you should meet | 但既然你来了 也许你应该见见 |
| [34:33] | the little girl who knocked you out and tied you up. | 这个把你打晕了绑起来的小女孩 |
| [34:39] | I’ve always said her dad took off before she was born, | 我一直告诉她 她爸爸在她出生前就离开了 |
| [34:41] | so she’ll have no idea you two are related. | 所以她不知道你俩是父女 |
| [34:43] | And I want it to stay that way, | 我希望保持这样 |
| [34:45] | so you can never tell her who you really are, okay? | 所以你不能告诉她你的真实身份 好吗 |
| [34:47] | You gotta promise me you won’t say anything. | 你得跟我保证你不会告诉她 |
| [34:51] | What are you telling me for? | 你跟我说这话干嘛 |
| [34:52] | He’s the one with the big mouth. | 他才是那个管不住自己嘴巴的家伙 |
| [34:55] | Brace yourself. You’re about to meet our love child. | 准备好了 你将要见到我们的私生子了 |
| [35:06] | I think I’m gonna need to see a blood test. | 我想做个亲子鉴定 |
| [35:09] | Hello. | 谁啊 |
| [35:11] | Mom, I told you to leave these meth heads | 妈 我跟你说了在警察来之前 |
| [35:13] | tied up until the cops got here. | 别给这些瘾君子松绑 |
| [35:15] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [35:17] | I didn’t call the cops | 我没打电话报警 |
| [35:18] | and these guys are not meth heads, okay? | 他们也不是瘾君子 |
| [35:20] | They only look like meth heads because they’re from New Jersey. | 他们看起来像瘾君子是因为他们来自新泽西 |
| [35:25] | Boys, this is my daughter, Millennium Faulken. | 小伙子们 这是我女儿 米莉妮恩·法尔肯 |
| [35:31] | Dude, like Star Wars. | 就像星战里的千年隼号 |
| [35:33] | Milly, these are friends of mine from a long time ago, | 米莉 他们是我多年前的朋友 |
| [35:36] | a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. | 多年以前 在一个遥远的星系里 |
| [35:40] | I almost killed the older one. | 我差点把那个老家伙杀了 |
| [35:42] | Older one? | 老家伙 |
| [35:46] | So you guys got names or what? | 你俩叫什么名字 |
| [35:50] | I’m Jay and… I mean… | 我叫杰伊 我是说 |
| [35:52] | I’m Ted Underhill and this is my hetero-lifemate, | 我叫泰德·安德希尔 这是我的直男人生伴侣 |
| [35:55] | Mr. Taint. | 坦特先生 |
| [35:57] | Hetero-lifemate, I got one of those. | 是吗 我也有一个直女人生伴侣 |
| [36:00] | This is my best friend, Soapy Pia. | 这是我最好的朋友 泡泡皮娅 |
| [36:04] | Como estas, Soapy Penis? | 你好啊 泡泡老二 |
| [36:07] | Holy shit. It’s Soapy Pia. | 我去 她叫泡泡皮娅 |
| [36:11] | Say hi to my mom’s | 跟我妈妈的不尊重文化的 |
| [36:14] | culturally insensitive, horrible friends. | 超烂的朋友打个招呼吧 |
| [36:19] | Millennium. | 米莉妮恩 |
| [36:21] | 他们看起来就他妈像瘾君子 | |
| [36:25] | Dude, this is like watching your favorite movie, | 老兄 这就像是在看你最喜欢的电影 |
| [36:27] | The Quiet Place. | 《寂静之地》 |
| [36:33] | Sorry, it’s like watching your second favorite movie, | 抱歉 像是在看你第二喜欢的电影 |
| [36:35] | The Shape of Water. My bad. | 《水形物语》 是我不好 |
| [36:39] | How could you let people this stupid into our house, | 你怎么能让这些蠢人进我们家 |
| [36:41] | let alone my room? | 还进我的房间 |
| [36:43] | Can they leave now? | 能让他们离开了吗 |
| [36:45] | Ted and Mr. Taint just wanted to meet you, Milly. | 泰德和坦特先生只是想见见你 米莉 |
| [36:46] | 文凭 证书 最佳球员 | |
| [36:48] | They’re just passing through town | 他们是在去往加州的路上 |
| [36:49] | on their way to California. | 途径我们这里 |
| [36:49] | 三等奖 | |
| [36:51] | Wait. California? | 等等 加州 |
| [36:54] | Yo, meth heads. | 瘾君子 |
| [36:57] | Where are you going in California? | 你们要去加州哪里 |
| [36:59] | We’re going to this stupid convention in Hollywood. | 我们要去好莱坞的一个傻逼展会 |
| [37:02] | Holy fuck. Are you talking about Chronic-Con? | 我靠 你们说的是慢展吗 |
| [37:04] | – Yeah. – Language. | -没错 -不许说脏话 |
| [37:07] | Oh, my God, Reggie’s here. | 天呐 芮姬来了 |
| [37:08] | – Who the fuck is Reggie? – My better half. | -芮姬是谁 -我的另一半 |
| [37:12] | Okay. I love you. | 好了 我爱你 |
| [37:13] | We’ll call you soon as we land in Machu Picchu, okay? | 我们一到马丘比丘就打给你 |
| [37:16] | And I left you $200 in the fridge. | 我在冰箱里给你留了两百美元 |
| [37:19] | Now, say goodbye to Mr. Underhill. | 和安德希尔先生道别吧 |
| [37:24] | Goodbye forever, Methy Marvin. | 永别了 毒瘾马文 |
| [37:27] | It was so cool to meet you. | 能见到你简直太酷了 |
| [37:31] | Okay. Um, I gotta go. | 好了 我得走了 |
| [37:33] | Let’s go. I… I got to go. | 我们走吧 我得走了 |
| [37:35] | – I love you. – Love you. | -我爱你 -我也爱你 |
| [37:39] | It’s fucked up enough I had to meet my kid, | 我得见自己的孩子已经够操蛋了 |
| [37:40] | now I got to meet your husband? | 现在我还得见你的丈夫吗 |
| [37:43] | You’re not meeting my husband. | 你要见的不是我的丈夫 |
| [37:46] | Jessie. | 杰茜 |
| [37:48] | Let’s go. | 我们该走了 |
| [37:49] | You know I hate O’Hare. | 你知道我痛恨奥黑尔机场 |
| [37:50] | But first, I… | 走之前 我 |
| [37:53] | Who the fuck are these guys? | 这俩家伙是谁 |
| [37:55] | Boys, this is Reggie Faulken… | 小伙子们 这是芮姬·法尔肯 |
| [37:58] | my wife. | 我的妻子 |
| [38:00] | Wife? Holy shit, you married a lady? | 妻子 我靠 你和一位女士结婚了 |
| [38:03] | Ooh, a lady. I like him. He’s proper. | 女士 我喜欢他 很有礼貌 |
| [38:06] | Reggie, this is Jay of Jay and Silent Bob fame. | 芮姬 他是杰伊 杰伊和沉默鲍勃里那个 |
| [38:14] | – Oh, my God. This is him? – Yes. | -我的老天 就是他 -是的 |
| [38:18] | This is Mr. Cum Quick Thumb Dick? | 他就是秒射口红男 |
| [38:19] | – Shh. – Oh, my God. | -嘘 -我的天啊 |
| [38:24] | I never ever thought I’d get the chance to meet you. | 我从没想过会有机会见到你 |
| [38:26] | You’re like a living legend. | 你就是个活生生的传说 |
| [38:29] | – For what? – All the wrong reasons, bro. | -为什么 -都是些不好的原因 老兄 |
| [38:37] | Stop by on your way home from Hollywood. | 你们从好莱坞回家的路上再来坐坐 |
| [38:39] | Maybe you and Milly can spend some time together | 也许你回新泽西之前 |
| [38:41] | before you head back to Jersey. | 能和米莉再多相处一些时间 |
| [38:52] | Fuck, man. Last time we were in Chicago, | 靠 上次我们来芝加哥 |
| [38:55] | we couldn’t find Sherman, Illinois. | 我们找不到伊利诺伊州佘曼村 |
| [38:57] | This time, I didn’t get laid | 而这次 我没能打炮 |
| [38:58] | because my fucking ex-girlfriend has a wife. | 因为我的前女友有了个老婆 |
| [39:00] | This Windy City can blow me. Let’s go. | 去他妈的风城 我们走 |
| [39:06] | Hello. | 你们好啊 |
| [39:09] | I know we only just met, | 我知道我们刚刚才认识 |
| [39:10] | but I really feel like I know you… | 但我真的感觉已经了解你了 |
| [39:15] | at least enough to ask you a favor. | 至少足够请你帮忙 |
| [39:18] | – You wanna ask me a favor? – Mm-hmm. | -你要请我帮忙 -是的 |
| [39:22] | Hold on a sec. | 等等 |
| [39:24] | Holy fuck, man. This is my first chance | 我靠 兄弟 这是我头一次 |
| [39:25] | to act like a real dad, Silent Bob. | 有机会当个爸爸 沉默鲍勃 |
| [39:29] | Okay. What’s the favor? | 好吧 帮什么忙 |
| [39:31] | Can you take us to Hollywood with you? | 你能带我们一起去好莱坞吗 |
| [39:37] | Fuck, no, man! | 当然不行 |
| [39:38] | I can’t be bringing private school girls to Hollyweird. | 我不能带私立学校的女孩们去”怪莱坞” |
| [39:41] | It’s a tough-ass neighborhood. | 那可是个不太平地方 |
| [39:45] | He said no. | 他拒绝了 |
| [39:53] | Okay. Let’s do this the hard way, butt plug. | 那我们就来硬的了 呆子 |
| [39:55] | Either you take us to Hollywood | 要么你俩带我们去好莱坞 |
| [39:57] | or I stab you both to death on my own front fucking lawn! | 要么我就在自家门前的草坪上捅死你俩 |
| [40:00] | And when the cops come, | 等警察来了 |
| [40:01] | I’ll tell them it was an act of self-defense | 我就告诉他们是正当防卫 |
| [40:03] | after you tried to break into my house. | 因为你俩想闯进我家 |
| [40:05] | The home of Chicago’s beloved lesbian weather lady. | 芝加哥深受喜爱的天气预报女同性恋的家 |
| [40:09] | I’ll get off like a porn star, | 我会全身而退 |
| [40:10] | and you two will be dead as dodos. | 而你俩会死的很惨 |
| [40:12] | So I suggest you take out your phone, | 所以我建议你拿出手机 |
| [40:15] | open your little fucking app, | 打开拼车应用 |
| [40:16] | and order us a car to Hollywood right now! | 马上给我们叫一辆去好莱坞的车 |
| [40:25] | You can’t just go around threatening people. | 你不能就这样随意威胁他人 |
| [40:27] | Don’t tell me what to do. You’re not my father. | 别告诉我该怎么做 你又不是我爸 |
| [40:43] | I don’t get it. | 我搞不懂 |
| [40:44] | Why does the deaf kid get to DJ instead of me? | 为什么一个聋孩子能选歌 而我不行 |
| [40:47] | Because Soapy has great taste in music | 因为泡泡的音乐品味超棒 |
| [40:48] | and you’re a fucking dildo. | 而你就是个大傻屌 |
| [40:50] | What? She doesn’t even know what a dildo is probably. | 什么 她可能连假老二是什么都不知道 |
| [40:55] | I have two dildos and a strap-on, so, yeah, | 我有两个假老二 还有一个穿戴假老二 |
| [40:58] | – I do. – What are you, nuts? | -所以我知道 -你疯了吗 |
| [40:59] | You can’t say strap-on in public. | 你不能在公共场合说穿戴假老二这个词 |
| [41:00] | Man, you’re just a kid. | 老天 你还是个孩子 |
| [41:02] | Are you gonna be this fucking annoying the entire trip? | 你一路上都要这么烦人吗 |
| [41:04] | Because if so… | 如果那样的话 |
| [41:07] | – smoke some of this shit. – Holy shit, that’s weed. | -抽点这玩意 -我靠 那是大麻 |
| [41:11] | – That’s right. – Where’d you get it? | -没错 -你从哪搞到的 |
| [41:13] | – From her. – Where’d she get it? | -她给我的 -她又是从哪搞到的 |
| [41:14] | Soapy lives on a commune in Oregon | 泡泡住在俄勒冈州的一个社区里 |
| [41:16] | where deaf people grow the best weed in the West. | 那里的聋哑人种植出了整个西部最棒的大麻 |
| [41:19] | Deaf people know how to grow weed? | 聋哑人还知道怎么种大麻 |
| [41:21] | I’m sorry, how old are you? | 拜托 你几岁了 |
| [41:23] | – Fuck you. How old are you? – I’m 18. | -去你的 你几岁了 -我18 |
| [41:26] | You can’t be smoking no weed at 18. | 18岁不能抽大麻 |
| [41:28] | I can. Watch me. | 我当然能抽 瞧好了 |
| [41:32] | Don’t… You’re gonna break it. | 别 你要把我胳膊掰断了 |
| [41:33] | Fuck off my flower. | 别碰我的大麻 |
| [41:37] | You know what? | 听好了 |
| [41:38] | This is my ride and I’m paying for it, girlie. | 这是我叫的车我付的钱 小姑娘 |
| [41:41] | So if you don’t put that weed away, | 所以你要是不把大麻收起来 |
| [41:43] | I’m gonna kick your narrow ass to the curb. | 我就要把你个小丫头片子扔到马路边 |
| [41:47] | – Fine. – See? That’s better. | -行 -这样就好多了 |
| [41:50] | All right? You’re just a kid. | 你还是个孩子 |
| [41:50] | Why don’t you eat some candy or something? | 你何不吃点糖果什么的 |
| [41:53] | Okay. | 好啊 |
| [41:55] | – Happy? – Chocolate. That’s better. | -满意了吗 -巧克力 好多了 |
| [41:59] | Way better than weed for a little girl. | 对一个小女孩来说 比大麻好多了 |
| [42:01] | Yeah. You want some? | 是啊 你想来点吗 |
| [42:03] | Shit, yeah. I love sugar. | 靠 当然 我超爱吃糖 |
| [42:12] | You guys aren’t gonna eat any chocolate? | 你俩不吃巧克力吗 |
| [42:14] | No. Um, I smoke my weed, I don’t eat it. | 不 我抽大麻 但是我不吃食用大麻 |
| [42:20] | Punch Bar? | 晕晕棒 |
| [42:22] | There’s weed in that chocolate? | 那巧克力里面有大麻 |
| [42:24] | We… Holy shit. She poisoned us. | 我们 我靠 她给我们下毒了 |
| [42:27] | It isn’t poison, but it is potent. | 这东西没毒 不过非常强力 |
| [42:30] | And you ate, uh, 50 times the recommended dosage. | 你们吃了 大概推荐剂量的五十倍 |
| [42:36] | These old fuckers are gonna die. | 这俩老傻逼死定了 |
| [42:41] | You… You know what? | 跟你说 |
| [42:41] | No, no, no. Calm down. Calm down. | 不 不 冷静 冷静 |
| [42:43] | You think we can’t handle edibles? | 你以为我们受不住可食用大麻吗 |
| [42:46] | You think we can’t handle these silly-ass chocolate bars? | 你以为我们搞不定这些小小的巧克力棒吗 |
| [42:48] | You’re mistaken. | 那你就错了 |
| [42:50] | Can you believe these two? | 她俩真是难以置信 |
| [42:52] | Edibles ain’t shit, right? | 食用大麻屁都不算 对吗 |
| [43:01] | You got a blunt? | 有大麻烟卷吗 |
| [43:03] | You got weed, brother? | 有叶子吗 兄弟 |
| [43:05] | Back out of the club, nigga. | 别抽了 傻逼 |
| [43:07] | Holy shit, Silent Bob, look, it’s Method & Red. | 我了个去 沉默鲍勃 看 是马索和莱德 |
| [43:10] | We got visitors. | 我们有客人了 |
| [43:12] | I’m Jay and this is my hetero-lifemate, Silent Bob. | 我是杰伊 这是我的直男人生伴侣 沉默鲍勃 |
| [43:16] | Silent Bob, huh? | 沉默鲍勃 是吧 |
| [43:18] | That’s kind of hot. That’s your rap name? | 挺酷的 是你的说唱艺名吗 |
| [43:21] | We came here seeking advice. | 我们是来这里寻求建议的 |
| [43:24] | Well, look no further. | 那你们算是来对了 |
| [43:25] | Me and Red, we got life experience. | 我和莱德都是人生导师 |
| [43:28] | Like they say on Reddit. Ask me anything. | 就像掘客网站上那样 随便问吧 |
| [43:32] | Okay, great masters of the green. | 好的 飞叶子大师 |
| [43:35] | I just found out I have a kid | 我刚发现我有个孩子 |
| [43:37] | and then that kid roofied us with chocolates. | 她就在巧克力里下药 把我们迷晕了 |
| [43:40] | My advice, if you got a kid that’ll get you stoned… | 个人建议 如果你有个能给你大麻的孩子 |
| [43:45] | have another kid just like that one. | 那就再生个一模一样的 |
| [43:47] | – Facts. Facts. – Just like that. | -精辟 精辟 -一模一样 |
| [43:49] | The thing is I don’t know how to be a father. | 问题是我跟本不知道如何做父亲 |
| [43:51] | I didn’t even know my own dad | 我都没见过我爸 |
| [43:53] | and I don’t know what dads are supposed to do. | 我不知道爸爸应该怎么做 |
| [43:55] | Philosophically in a manner of speaking, | 从哲学层面上来讲 |
| [43:58] | being a father does not necessarily make one a dad, | 有孩子不代表你就是爸爸了 |
| [44:01] | am I right, Doc? | 没错吧 老师 |
| [44:03] | Guys, anybody and I mean, anti-body… | 伙计们 任何男人 只要有屌 |
| [44:07] | with cum… | 能射 |
| [44:10] | can be a father. | 就能当父亲 |
| [44:12] | But only love can make you a dad, you understand me? | 但只有心中有爱 才能当好爸爸 明白吗 |
| [44:15] | Okay. Wait a minute. How you gonna talk about love | 行了吧 你满嘴屌啊射啊的 |
| [44:17] | and you flinging cum all over the place? | 还想谈论什么是爱 |
| [44:18] | That shit’s unseemly, brah. | 真够粗俗的 哥们 |
| [44:20] | Unseemly? God damn it, listen, | 粗俗吗 去你的 听着 |
| [44:22] | you wanna be a good dad? | 你想当个好爸爸吗 |
| [44:23] | Then just think of all the fucked-up shit | 那就想想你爸搞砸过的 |
| [44:27] | your dad did wrong, | 所有破事 |
| [44:29] | ’cause… look at you, and do the opposite. | 看看你什么样子就知道了 然后反其道而行之 |
| [44:33] | – Feel me? – But I never met my own dad. | -懂了吗 -但我从没见过我爸 |
| [44:35] | But you met your kid. | 但你见过你的孩子 |
| [44:39] | There you go. See? | 就这样 明白了吗 |
| [44:40] | You already a better dad than your dad ever was, bruh. | 你已经比你爸做得好了 哥们 |
| [44:44] | Now, get the fuck out and hit the road. | 现在滚出去然后出发吧 |
| [44:48] | – Hit the road. – The road. | -出发上路 -上路 |
| [44:50] | – The road. – The road. | -出发上路 -上路 |
| [44:51] | – The road. – The road. | -出发上路 -上路 |
| [44:52] | – The road. – The road. | -出发上路 -上路 |
| [44:53] | The road. | 上路 |
| [45:09] | Whoa, dude. | 老兄 |
| [45:11] | This isn’t Hulu and hump day, dude. | 今天又不是葫芦亲热日 老兄 |
| [45:13] | Man, what if someone saw? | 万一有人看见怎么办 |
| [45:14] | I saw you. | 我看见你们了 |
| [45:16] | And I’m putting you on my Instagram, | 这就把你们发到图享网上去 |
| [45:19] | #whenoldpeoplefuck. | 话题标签 老年人啪啪啪时 |
| [45:21] | Holy shit, it’s a terrorist. | 我的妈呀 是恐怖分子 |
| [45:23] | Where? Where? Where’s the terrorist? | 哪里 恐怖分子在哪 |
| [45:25] | She’s not a terrorist, you fuck. | 她才不是恐怖分子 你这二逼 |
| [45:29] | But ironically her name is Jihad, | 但讽刺的是 她的名字叫圣战 |
| [45:31] | so do with that what you will. | 所以尽情嘲笑吧 |
| [45:32] | As-salamu alaykum. | 祝你们平安 |
| [45:34] | That sounds like baby talk. | 听着像小孩呓语一样 |
| [45:35] | No, that’s just talk, baby. | 不 我只是在说话 小屁孩 |
| [45:38] | And by baby, I mean oldest man I’ve ever met. | 叫你小屁孩的意思是 你这个死老头 |
| [45:40] | How old are these fuckers? | 这俩傻逼多大了 |
| [45:41] | I’m pretty sure they were alive during the ’90s. | 我很肯定他俩经历过90年代 |
| [45:44] | No way. That’s before they even built the internet. | 不可能吧 那时候还没有互联网 |
| [45:47] | Jihad, that was, like, before they built the pyramids. | 圣战 那时候连金字塔都没有 |
| [45:49] | Jihad? Why does that name sound familiar. | 圣战 这名字听起来怎么这么耳熟 |
| [45:51] | If you fuck with any of us, | 如果你敢得罪我们 |
| [45:53] | I live up to my name and I put you underground, Underhill. | 我就如我之名 让你没入黄土 安德希尔 |
| [45:56] | Does every girl carry a knife nowadays? | 现在的姑娘都随身带刀吗 |
| [45:58] | Well, in a world full of dicks, | 在这个满是屌的世界里 |
| [46:00] | knives really help a girl make a point. | 带刀能让女孩有话语权 |
| [46:02] | And if you had a daughter, | 而且如果你有个女儿 |
| [46:03] | – wouldn’t you want her to carry a knife? – Shit yes. | -难道你不想让她带一把刀吗 -当然想 |
| [46:05] | Shit, no, I have a daughter | 其实不想 我确实有个女儿 |
| [46:07] | and she scared me when she pulled a knife on me. | 而且被她拿刀指着吓死我了 |
| [46:15] | What’s this creepy Ring shit? | 这位瘆人的贞子在干什么呢 |
| [46:18] | This is my not creepy friend, Shan Yu, she’s from China. | 这位是我不瘆人的朋友 山芋 中国人 |
| [46:22] | We picked her up in Missouri. | 她在密苏里州上车的 |
| [46:24] | Missouri? Where the fuck are we now? | 密苏里州 我们现在在哪 |
| [46:26] | Just outside New Orleans. | 离新奥尔良不远 |
| [46:27] | – We’re in Connecticut? – It’s Louisiana, man, Jesus. | -我们在康涅狄格州吗 -是路易斯安那州 老天 |
| [46:31] | Louisiana? How long was I asleep for? | 路易斯安那州 我睡了多久了 |
| [46:33] | – Eighteen hours straight. – What? | -18个小时 -什么 |
| [46:35] | I told you those edibles were strong. | 我跟你说了那个食用大麻效力很强 |
| [46:37] | Dude, why didn’t you wake me up? | 哥们 你怎么不把我叫醒 |
| [46:38] | We’ll never make it to Hollywood now. | 我们这样永远到不了好莱坞 |
| [46:46] | What the fuck? | 什么鬼 |
| [46:47] | Shan Yu records every interaction she hears for her podcast, | 山芋录下听到的对话 为播客积累素材 |
| [46:51] | which she uses to contextualize life in America | 以此让她在中国的听众 |
| [46:53] | for her audience in China. | 了解美国的生活 |
| [46:54] | The podcast is called | 播客的名字叫做 |
| [46:55] | The American Entitled and Their First World Problems. | 《自视甚高的美国人与第一世界问题》 |
| [46:58] | Shan Yu understands English, Mr. Underhill. | 山芋听得懂英语 安德希尔先生 |
| [47:01] | She just can’t speak it. | 只是不会说罢了 |
| [47:02] | Kind of like you actually. | 其实跟你有点像 |
| [47:09] | Wait a minute, where the fucks the car at? | 等一下 车在哪 |
| [47:11] | Now that there are six of us, | 现在我们有六个人 |
| [47:12] | we need a bigger whip than Ride Me Now has, | 就需要一辆更大的车了 |
| [47:15] | so we’re gonna get a van. | 我们得弄辆面包车 |
| [47:16] | What are you, fucking dumb or something? | 你他妈是傻逼吗 |
| [47:17] | How are you gonna get a van in the middle of nowhere? | 在这鸟不拉屎的地方怎么弄面包车 |
| [47:19] | Thanks to Operation Predator Editor. | 多亏有捕食者转换行动 |
| [47:25] | Okay, places, everybody, places. | 好了 全体就位 |
| [47:42] | What the fuck is Operation Predator Editor? | 捕食者转换行动是什么鬼 |
| [47:47] | 捕食者转换行动 步骤详解 | |
| [47:48] | This is Operation Predator Editor. | 这就是捕食者转换行动 |
| [47:51] | Phase one, Millennium takes naked selfies. | 第一步 米莉妮恩自拍裸照 |
| [47:54] | – No, she didn’t. – She did. | -不是吧 -已经完成了 |
| [47:55] | For phase two, Millennium posts selfies on pedophile website. | 第二步 米莉妮恩把裸照发到恋童癖网站上 |
| [47:59] | – What the fuck? Why? – For phase three, | -什么鬼 为什么 -第三步 |
| [48:02] | Millennium tells interested pedophile with van | 米莉妮恩约一个有面包车的恋童癖 |
| [48:04] | to meet her here for a free ride. | 来这里接她去兜风 |
| [48:07] | Free ride? | 兜风 |
| [48:11] | Oh, nice outfit, man. | 这身不错 |
| [48:13] | Oh, thanks, you like it? | 谢谢 你喜欢吗 |
| [48:14] | – Yeah, did you ever see Cannonball Run? – No. | -你看过《炮弹飞车》吗 -没有 |
| [48:17] | – The great Dom DeLuise? – No. | -听说过伟大的多姆·德路易斯吗 -没有 |
| [48:20] | That really fell apart right there. | 聊不下去了 |
| [48:22] | You’re pretty flamboyant for a pedophile. | 作为恋童癖 你也太高调了 |
| [48:28] | You pedophile piece of shit. | 你这个人渣恋童癖 |
| [48:36] | What the fuck were you thinking | 你他妈在想什么 |
| [48:37] | getting in that van with this guy? | 和这个人一起上车 |
| [48:39] | I was thinking phase four. | 我在想第四步 |
| [48:43] | Ted Underhill beats up the pedophile | 泰德·安德希尔把恋童癖揍一顿 |
| [48:45] | and we take the van. | 然后我们把车抢过来 |
| [48:54] | All right. What if I didn’t get to the van in time? | 万一我没及时赶到车那里呢 |
| [48:56] | You saw what I can do with a hockey stick. | 你也看到我的曲棍球棒的威力了 |
| [48:57] | I know how to handle myself. | 我知道怎么保护自己 |
| [48:59] | Yeah. You grew up in a big house in a rich kid neighborhood | 是啊 你在富人区的豪华别墅里长大 |
| [49:02] | and went to private school. | 在私立学校上学 |
| [49:03] | You have no idea how dangerous people can be. | 你不知道人们会有多危险 |
| [49:06] | So true. | 没错 |
| [49:07] | In Syria, a boy touched my left nipple | 在叙利亚 一个男孩摸了我的左乳头 |
| [49:09] | and told everybody I know about that shit. | 然后告诉大家我很熟悉这种事 |
| [49:12] | I said dangerous, man. | 我说的是危险 老天 |
| [49:13] | Not bitch ass boys who got to second base. | 不是上了二垒的傻逼混蛋男生 |
| [49:16] | When my brother found out, | 我哥哥发现后 |
| [49:18] | he tried to smother me in my sleep with a pillow | 试图在我睡觉时用枕头闷死我 |
| [49:20] | for shaming my family. | 因为我给家族蒙羞了 |
| [49:23] | So my mom sent me to America. | 于是我妈送我来了美国 |
| [49:31] | You know what, fuck your brother, all right? | 让你哥哥去死吧 好吗 |
| [49:33] | If the motherfucker tried to smother me, | 如果那个人渣想闷死我 |
| [49:35] | I’d kick his ass to Asgard where Thor lives. | 我会一脚把他踹到阿斯加德 索尔住的地方 |
| [49:38] | – No, Thor lives in my dreams. – Mine too. | -不 索尔住在我的梦中 -也在我的梦中 |
| [49:42] | Every night after I fall asleep, I fuck Chris Hemsworth. | 我每天晚上睡着后 都要操克里斯·海姆斯沃斯 |
| [49:46] | Holy fuckhole, where did you get such a damn dirty mouth from? | 我去 你在哪学的满嘴脏话 |
| [49:49] | I’d put my damn dirty mouth all over Hemsworth. | 我愿意用这张说脏话的嘴舔遍海姆斯沃斯 |
| [49:53] | Yeah, and I’d be like, | 没错 而我就会 |
| [49:55] | “Give me that Hammer, Odin’s son.” | “把锤子给我吧 奥丁之子” |
| [49:57] | Put it in my hands to see if I’m worthy. | 让我握一下 看我是否有资格 |
| [50:00] | – You guys better stop. – Oh, I’d never stop. | -你们别说了 -完全停不下来 |
| [50:04] | I’d fuck Chris Hemsworth until I was Thor. | “征服”了克里斯之后我就是雷神了 |
| [50:07] | What? | 什么 |
| [50:09] | Hi. Welcome to Mooby’s by the moonlight. | 欢迎来到月光下的莫比餐厅 |
| [50:11] | – Six cow tippers, please. – We’re vegan, bro. | -六个牛肉汉堡 谢谢 -我们吃素 |
| [50:14] | I mean one cow tipper, five milks. | 那就一个牛肉汉堡 五杯牛奶 |
| [50:18] | We’re vegan, bro. | 我们是纯素食者 老兄 |
| [50:20] | Jesus, man, just give me something with no meat, please, fuck! | 老天 给我没肉的东西就行了 要命了 |
| [50:23] | 免下车服务 | |
| [50:36] | Can you stop being so fucking creepy? | 你能别那么瘆人了吗 |
| [50:39] | Hey, Underhill, | 安德希尔 |
| [50:40] | how about a little respect for our guest of honor? | 能对我们的贵客放尊重一点吗 |
| [50:42] | Shan Yu is the reason we’re doing all this, Mr. Underhill. | 山芋是我们做这一切的缘由 安德希尔先生 |
| [50:46] | What? Operation Predator Editor? | 什么 捕食者转换行动吗 |
| [50:49] | No, jackass, that mission’s over. | 不 混蛋 那个任务完成了 |
| [50:51] | We’re onto the next mission. | 我们要进行下一项任务了 |
| [50:53] | Oh, let me see. | 让我看看 |
| [50:57] | – Uh, no. – You know what, | -不行 -你知道吗 |
| [50:58] | you’re pretty ungrateful for someone who needed my help. | 你真是一个不懂得知恩图报的人 |
| [51:03] | Needed your help? | 谁想让你帮我了 |
| [51:05] | I’m sorry, did you seriously think | 不好意思 难道你真的认为 |
| [51:06] | we were just hoping for two old men to drop in | 我们希望遇见两个老头从天而降 |
| [51:09] | and ferry us to Hollywood? | 然后把我们捎到好莱坞吗 |
| [51:11] | No, we were gonna take my mom’s car the second she left. | 我们原本计划等我妈一离开就把她的车偷走 |
| [51:14] | We’ve been planning this mission for months, bro. | 这项任务我们已经计划好几个月了 老兄 |
| [51:16] | Holy shit, | 我的天 |
| [51:18] | you girls are international diamond thieves, aren’t youse? | 你们这几个姑娘是国际钻石大盗 对吧 |
| [51:23] | I’m sorry, uh, diamond thieves? | 抱歉 你说钻石大盗吗 |
| [51:27] | Yeah. When I met your mom, | 是的 我遇见你妈妈时 |
| [51:28] | she told me her and her friends were animal rights activists | 她告诉我她和朋友们都是动物权益保护者 |
| [51:32] | and then they wound up being international diamond thieves | 然后她们摇身一变成为了 |
| [51:35] | who wore cat suits under their clothes. | 身穿猫女服的国际钻石大盗 |
| [51:38] | Any one of you girls wearing cat suits under your clothes? | 你们几个有谁穿了猫女服吗 |
| [51:41] | Um, okay. I don’t know anything about that, | 好吧 你说的这事我完全不知道 |
| [51:46] | but I do know that I’m nothing like my mother. | 但我很肯定的是我跟我妈妈完全不一样 |
| [51:49] | Holy shit, yes, you are. You’re like a rebooted Justice. | 拉倒吧 你就是很像 你就像重制版贾斯蒂丝 |
| [51:53] | I believe he means to say remake. | 我觉得他想说的是翻拍版 |
| [51:56] | No, I mean to say reboot, all right? | 不 我想说的就是重制版 好吗 |
| [51:59] | Someone took all the things I like about your mom, | 有人提取了你妈妈身上所有吸引我的特点 |
| [52:02] | changed them just enough to make me pay for them all over again, | 改造成了我正好会付钱买票的程度 |
| [52:05] | and added youth and diversity to it. | 加了年轻元素和多样性进去 |
| [52:07] | So this van is not moving until you tell me | 所以除非你告诉我你为什么这么想去好莱坞 |
| [52:10] | why you wanna go to Hollywood so bad. | 不然我就不开车了 |
| [52:13] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [52:15] | Shan Yu only has a week left on her visa | 山芋的签证有效期只剩一周了 |
| [52:18] | before her mom takes her back to China forever. | 时间一到她妈妈就会永远把她带回中国 |
| [52:21] | – So? – So, you genital cuff… | -所以呢 -所以 你给我听好了 |
| [52:24] | her favorite thing in the world | 这世上她最爱的就是 |
| [52:26] | is that old Bluntman and Chronic movie. | 老版的《直率人和慢性人》电影 |
| [52:29] | Bluntman. | 直率人 |
| [52:31] | And for years now, | 多年来 |
| [52:32] | she’s been wanting to go to Chronic-Con. | 她一直很想去慢展 |
| [52:33] | So that’s why this mission is so important. | 正因为如此 这个任务才如此重要 |
| [52:37] | Important enough for a straight A student | 有重要到让一个尖子生 |
| [52:39] | to get in a shitload of trouble and blow up her future? | 惹上一堆麻烦 毁掉自己的人生吗 |
| [52:43] | God, you sound like my mother. | 老天 你听上去真像我妈 |
| [52:45] | Maybe that’s because I’m… | 可能是因为我… |
| [52:47] | Maybe that’s because I think your mom’s right, okay? | 可能是因为我觉得你妈说得对 好吗 |
| [52:49] | I’ve done a bunch of stupid shit when I was younger, | 我年轻时做过不少蠢事 |
| [52:51] | but I did it with Si… Mr. Taint here. | 不过我是和这位沉默…这位坦特先生一起做的 |
| [52:54] | Not with a bunch of people I don’t know. | 而不是和一群我不认识的人 |
| [52:56] | – Oh, I know these girls. – How? | -我认识这些姑娘们 -怎么认识的 |
| [52:58] | How did you meet a deaf girl, | 你是怎么认识一个聋女 |
| [53:00] | a Muslim who’s brother tried to kill her, | 一个差点被哥哥杀死的穆斯林 |
| [53:02] | and a Chinese girl that I don’t even know where she’s from, | 还有一个我都不知道是从哪来的中国女孩 |
| [53:05] | but she’s suspect. | 但她很可疑 |
| [53:07] | And you’re the only normal one of the bunch. | 你是这群人中最正常的一个 |
| [53:10] | Fuck you, you don’t know me. | 去你的 你压根不了解我 |
| [53:12] | Uh, I’ve seen your life, kid, | 我见识过你的生活 孩子 |
| [53:14] | you got two moms who love you and you grew up in a big house, | 你有两个爱你的妈妈 在豪华别墅长大 |
| [53:16] | you’re not fucked up like these girls. | 你不像这些姑娘们这么惨 |
| [53:19] | I only know these girls because I’m fucked up just like them. | 我认识这些姑娘就只是因为我和她们一样惨 |
| [53:21] | How? How are you fucked up? | 怎样 你怎么惨了 |
| [53:29] | We met in an online support group. | 我们是在一个网上互助小组认识的 |
| [53:32] | For what? | 什么小组 |
| [53:37] | For girls who have never met their fathers. | 都是没见过父亲的姑娘们 |
| [53:41] | We don’t know who our dads are. | 我们不知道自己的爸爸是谁 |
| [53:44] | They all left before we were born. | 他们都在我们出生前就离开了 |
| [53:48] | You know… You know what, well, fuck that, all right? | 听我说 去他妈的爸爸 懂吗 |
| [53:51] | You don’t need a father, I didn’t grow up with a dad | 你们不需要父亲 我从小就没有爸爸 |
| [53:53] | – and look, I turned out okay. – No, you didn’t. | -你们看 我现在还行 -并不是 |
| [53:58] | And if you never really had a dad then you would know | 如果你从未有过爸爸 你就会知道 |
| [54:00] | that there is no such thing as okay… | 根本没有还行这码事 |
| [54:04] | ever… | 从来没有 |
| [54:06] | because you will always be haunted by a question | 因为你永远被一个问题困扰着 |
| [54:08] | that you can’t answer. | 而且你无法回答 |
| [54:11] | Why didn’t you love me enough to stick around? | 为什么你对我的爱不够让你留在我身边 |
| [54:21] | Well, I knew your dad a little bit | 我知道你爸的一些事 |
| [54:22] | and, you know what, you’re better off without him. | 你知道吗 没有他你过得更好 |
| [54:27] | Guy’s a piece of shit. | 那人就是混蛋 |
| [54:32] | Holy shit, someone’s on the roof. | 见鬼了 车顶上有人 |
| [54:39] | Merkin, what the fuck are you doing? | 梅尔金 你他妈的在干什么 |
| [54:41] | Hater Totz filled with hate! | 吃一发充满仇恨的黑子薯球 |
| [54:45] | Hate! | 仇恨 |
| [54:46] | Hate! | 仇恨 |
| [54:47] | You got me arrested with your grass, man. | 我因为你的大麻被逮捕了 |
| [54:51] | And you gave me zero tip, | 你连小费都不给我 |
| [54:52] | leave me these horrible reviews. What is this? | 还给了我这么多差评 都是什么 |
| [54:55] | “Fuck your frozen food dreams.” That is personal and mean. | “去你的速冻食品梦” 真是恶意的人身攻击 |
| [54:59] | To me! “Do you even know what a merkin is?” | “你知道梅尔金是什么吗” |
| [55:02] | Very funny, yes, I do. It’s a pube toupee. | 真好笑 我当然知道 是假阴毛 |
| [55:05] | “Sit on some bald dick.” Who wrote that? | “找个没毛的屌粘上去吧” 这条谁写的 |
| [55:07] | Who’s the fucker who wrote that? | 哪个混蛋写的这条 |
| [55:09] | Do you think that’s funny? I am done losing at life. | 你们觉得很好笑吗 我受够了失意人生 |
| [55:13] | Fuck you guys, the two of you. No one is gonna make | 去你们的吧 从此之后再也没人 |
| [55:17] | Todd Merkinsky look like an asshole ever again! | 能坑托德·梅尔金斯基了 |
| [55:21] | Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep… | 睡吧睡吧睡吧 |
| [55:32] | We got a runner, we got a runner! | 他们跑了 快追 |
| [55:42] | Phase four, ditch old gay guys. | 第四步 甩掉基老头 |
| [55:44] | What the fuck? | 什么鬼 |
| [55:46] | We should still steal Merkin’s car. | 我们可以把梅尔金的车抢过来 |
| [55:49] | 亚利桑那州边界 | |
| [55:51] | We’ve been driving around for hours, Silent Bob. | 我们已经开了好几个小时了 沉默鲍勃 |
| [55:51] | 现在上我 | |
| [55:52] | Where the fuck did they go? | 她们去哪了 |
| [55:55] | 阿屎加德 屎诗诞生之地 | |
| [56:04] | Bro, are you serious? You can’t take a shit now. | 老兄 你认真的吗 非要现在拉屎吗 |
| [56:06] | We have to find the girls. | 得抓紧找到姑娘们 |
| [56:22] | We need a fucking light. | 真他妈的黑 |
| [56:30] | Oh, man, it’s the fucking Klan! | 老天 是三K党 |
| [56:32] | Dude, they ruin everything. | 这帮人把一切都毁了 |
| [56:34] | You distract these racist fucks, | 你去引开这帮种族主义混蛋 |
| [56:36] | while I hotbox them with some berserker. | 我给他们来一发猛料 |
| [56:47] | Peekaboo! | 逗你玩 |
| [56:50] | We always have a good time with that, don’t we? | 我们每次玩这个都挺开心的 对吧 |
| [56:52] | Speaking of good times, | 说到开心 |
| [56:54] | if you stick around till the end, | 如果你一直待到活动结束 |
| [56:56] | we’re gonna be serving Hater Totz! | 我们会供应黑子薯球 |
| [57:00] | Hater Totz! Who doesn’t love Hater Totz? All right. Okay. | 黑子薯球 没人不爱 对吧 |
| [57:04] | Look what we found trespassing in our backyard. | 看看我们抓住的入侵者 |
| [57:08] | And you know what happens to trespassers, right? | 你们知道入侵者会有什么下场 对吧 |
| [57:11] | Can you dig it? | 你们明白吧 |
| [57:14] | Can you dig it? | 你们明白吧 |
| [57:17] | Can you dig it? | 你们明白吧 |
| [57:21] | I’m digging it. | 完全明白 |
| [57:26] | Let me have your attention for a moment. | 大家注意听我说 |
| [57:30] | You’re talking about what? | 你们在聊什么呢 |
| [57:31] | You’re talking about… You’re bitching about what? | 你们在聊 你们在逼逼什么呢 |
| [57:34] | Are they all here? | 所有人都到了吗 |
| [57:36] | – Who the fuck are you? – I’m going anyway. | -你他妈是谁 -我马上就走 |
| [57:38] | Let’s talk about something important. | 让我们聊点重要的事情 |
| [57:44] | Put that pitchfork down. | 把干草叉放下 |
| [57:55] | Pitchforks are for Klansmen only. | 只有三K党才配拿干草叉 |
| [57:59] | Where the fuck did you come from? | 你他妈的是哪里来的 |
| [58:01] | I come from downtown. | 我从市中心来的 |
| [58:01] | 电影《大亨游戏》台词 | |
| [58:03] | I’m here for Mitch and Murray. | 我是为了米奇和默里而来 |
| [58:05] | And I’m here on a mission of mercy. | 也是带着慈悲的使命而来 |
| [58:08] | 莱格里 | |
| [58:09] | – Your name’s Legree? – Yeah. | -你叫莱格里 -是的 |
| [58:12] | You call yourself a Klansman, you son of a bitch? | 你也配自称为三K党 你这婊子养的 |
| [58:14] | We don’t got to listen to this shit. | 我们才不听你的狗屁废话 |
| [58:16] | You certainly don’t, pal. | 不需要你听 伙计 |
| [58:17] | Because the good news is, you’re fired. | 告诉你个好消息 你们被解雇了 |
| [58:20] | The bad news is you’ve got, all you got, just one week | 坏消息是 你们所有人只有一周的时间 |
| [58:24] | to regain your jobs. Starting with tonight. | 来重新取得工作职位 从今晚算起 |
| [58:27] | Starting with tonight’s shit. | 从这次集会算起 |
| [58:30] | Mister, what’s your name? | 先生 你叫什么名字 |
| [58:31] | Fuck you, that’s my name. | 操你妈 这就是我的名字 |
| [58:39] | A, B, D. A: Always, B: Be, D: Ducking. | 一 二 三 一 要 二 小 三 心 |
| [58:45] | Always Be Ducking. Always Be ducking. | 要小心 要小心 |
| [58:50] | All right, fuck face. I’ll bite. Ducking what? | 行了 二逼 我接茬 小心什么 |
| [59:00] | – Kill these racist fucks! – Hold on! | -干掉这帮种族歧视的混蛋 -坐稳了 |
| [59:11] | Now who’s stupid, you dirty sheepfucker? | 现在谁是蠢货 你们这群爱操羊的傻逼 |
| [59:17] | Who in the fuck are Mitch and Murray? | 米奇和默里是他妈的谁 |
| [59:28] | 好莱坞大道 八百米 | |
| [59:47] | 好莱坞 | |
| [59:52] | Holy shit. We made it. | 天啊 我们做到了 |
| [59:55] | No, we made it. | 不 是我们做到的 |
| [1:00:00] | You slept. | 你们睡过去了 |
| [1:00:04] | You know, I got to thank you, Mr. Underhill. | 我得感谢你 安德希尔先生 |
| [1:00:07] | Not for just saving our asses last night, but… | 不仅仅是因为昨晚救了我们的小命 |
| [1:00:11] | for helping us get here. | 也因为送我们来这里 |
| [1:00:13] | Technically, you forced me to help. | 严格地说 是你逼我帮忙的 |
| [1:00:15] | Yeah, but for a good cause. | 但出发点是好的 |
| [1:00:17] | Well, if your dreams came true it was all worth it. | 只要能帮你圆梦 那就都值得 |
| [1:00:20] | Going to Chronic-Con is Shan Yu’s dream. | 去慢展是山芋的梦想 |
| [1:00:24] | My dream is a little tougher to make happen. | 我的梦想实现起来比这困难得多 |
| [1:00:27] | It’s stupid, especially because you said | 有点傻 尤其是听你说完 |
| [1:00:29] | the guy’s a piece of shit. But, um… | 那人就是个混蛋之后 但… |
| [1:00:33] | I’ve always dreamed of meeting my dad. | 我一直都梦想着能见一见我爸爸 |
| [1:00:37] | Just hanging out. | 跟他待一会 |
| [1:00:40] | Nothing monumental. | 很随意地 |
| [1:00:44] | Just drinking coffee together or something, like… | 一起随便喝杯咖啡什么的 |
| [1:00:47] | talk to me like he was my dad… | 像爸爸一样跟我聊天 |
| [1:00:50] | teaching me dad stuff. | 像爸爸一样教导我 |
| [1:00:58] | That’s really embarrassing. | 太丢人了 |
| [1:01:00] | It probably sounds like the dumbest thing | 这大概是你听过的 |
| [1:01:01] | anyone has ever said out loud. | 最蠢的话了 |
| [1:01:10] | Oh, I got something that nobody knows. | 我知道一个小秘密 |
| [1:01:14] | God looks exactly like Alanis Morissette. | 上帝和阿兰妮斯·莫里塞特长得一模一样 |
| [1:01:14] | 美国歌手 | |
| [1:01:19] | I stand corrected. | 接受指正 |
| [1:01:34] | 欢迎来到慢展 | |
| [1:01:38] | 热点话题 | |
| [1:02:03] | Why are you dressed like all these people? | 为什么你跟这些人打扮得一样 |
| [1:02:06] | All these people are dressed like us. | 是这些人打扮得跟我们一样 |
| [1:02:09] | 热点话题 | |
| [1:02:25] | Happy Chronic-Con! | 观展快乐 |
| [1:02:29] | Love the fucking cosplay, you guys. Yes! | 超爱你们这身打扮 真棒 |
| [1:02:33] | Silent Jay, I dig it. | 沉默杰伊 我喜欢 |
| [1:02:34] | Hello, everyone, my name is Kuish. | 大家好 我叫酷伊什 |
| [1:02:38] | You little kids looking to mainline some of that… | 你们要来点那种 |
| [1:02:40] | That sweet ass, that bomb ass dank Bluntman and Chronic merch? | 甜蜜的 炫酷的《直率人和慢性人》周边吗 |
| [1:02:46] | Because we got Bluntman and Chronic Funko Pops. | 我们有《直率人和慢性人》摇头公仔 |
| [1:02:49] | We got Bluntman and Chronic action figures. | 还有《直率人和慢性人》手办 |
| [1:02:53] | Did your mommy or daddy just die? | 你们的父母刚去世吗 |
| [1:02:56] | We got a Bluntman and Chronic urn. | 这里有《直率人和慢性人》骨灰瓮 |
| [1:02:58] | Smoke ’em up, put them in. | 火化了之后放进去 |
| [1:03:01] | Or check this out, go ahead and show your pride | 或者看看这个 大胆地展示你的性向 |
| [1:03:04] | with our exclusive and inclusive | 用我们独家提供的包罗万象的 |
| [1:03:07] | B and C LGBTQ… | 性少数群体 |
| [1:03:11] | tee. Check it out. | 文化衫 请看 |
| [1:03:12] | 酷毙了&平等 | |
| [1:03:19] | 慢展 名人全息信息台 | |
| [1:03:26] | 按这里 | |
| [1:03:34] | Good day. Chris Hemsworth and, uh, I’ve been paid to… | 大家好 我是克里斯·海姆斯沃斯 他们花钱请我来 |
| [1:03:38] | To welcome you to the tenth Annual Hollywood Chronic-Con. | 欢迎大家来到第十届年度好莱坞慢展 |
| [1:03:41] | Yay. Welcome. Uh, now, full disclosure. | 欢迎大家 实话实说 |
| [1:03:43] | I’m not the real Chris Hemsworth. | 我不是真的克里斯·海姆斯沃斯 |
| [1:03:44] | I’m only a hologram, as you can see. | 我只是个全息影像 如你所见 |
| [1:03:46] | So, uh, feel free to take selfies | 所以 欢迎拿起手机 |
| [1:03:48] | with my holographic image. Um, but, please, | 和我的全息影像一起自拍 但请别 |
| [1:03:50] | and I can’t even believe I have to fucking say this, | 我都不敢相信自己得说出这句话 |
| [1:03:52] | but please do not hump the hologram. | 请别和全息影像亲热 |
| [1:03:54] | All right? Or you’ll burn your dick off or whatever it is | 好吗 不然可能会把你的小弟弟烧焦 |
| [1:03:57] | that you’re thrusting into the hologram. | 或者是其他任何你插进全息影像的东西 |
| [1:03:59] | So don’t do it. Do not fellate the hologram either, you know? | 别这么做 也别给全息影像口交 行吗 |
| [1:04:02] | You might burn your mouth off. | 可能会把嘴烧焦 |
| [1:04:03] | And… And please don’t record yourself having conversations | 还有 请不要摄录 |
| [1:04:06] | with the holographic version of me as if you’re talking to me | 你和全息影像交谈的视频 |
| [1:04:08] | saying things like, “Oh, I’m gonna… | 谈话内容类似于 “我要把你 |
| [1:04:10] | I’m gonna hump you until you’re Thor.” You know? | 征服了 你就变成雷神了” 可以吗 |
| [1:04:12] | Only my wife is allowed to objectify me like that. | 只有我老婆可以那样物化我 |
| [1:04:14] | And I have no choice in that. But I have a choice in this. | 对此我别无选择 但对你们我有 |
| [1:04:16] | So don’t do it. | 所以别这样做 |
| [1:04:17] | Now, if you’re looking for | 好了 如果你想找 |
| [1:04:18] | all the big celebrity guest panels, go left. | 重要名人嘉宾座谈 走左边 |
| [1:04:20] | Uh, if you wanna be an extra | 如果你想在 |
| [1:04:21] | in the new Bluntman movie, go right. | 最新的直率人电影里客串的话 走右边 |
| [1:04:23] | But whichever way you go, uh, hope you have fun | 无论你走哪边 我都希望你在今年的慢展上 |
| [1:04:26] | at this year’s Chronic-Con. Because you’re Hems-worth it. | 玩得开心 因为你有资格开心 |
| [1:04:29] | Trademark, Chris Hemsworth. | 克里斯·海姆斯沃斯专用 |
| [1:04:34] | We came a long way. | 我们这一路太不容易了 |
| [1:04:36] | Let’s do this. | 我们开干吧 |
| [1:04:47] | Where the fuck are you going? | 你们要去哪里 |
| [1:04:48] | We came to Hollywood | 我们来好莱坞 |
| [1:04:50] | so Shan Yu could be an extra in that stupid Bluntman reboot. | 是为了让山芋在直率人重制电影里当个临时演员 |
| [1:04:54] | And that is this way. | 拍摄在这边 |
| [1:04:55] | And we came to Hollywood | 我们来好莱坞 |
| [1:04:56] | to stop this stupid reboot from happening. | 是为了阻止他们拍重制电影 |
| [1:04:59] | And all the famous people are this way. | 名人都在这边 |
| [1:05:01] | Stop the reboot? Why? | 阻止拍重制 为什么 |
| [1:05:04] | It’s a long story, but it ends with us | 说来话长 但最终我们会 |
| [1:05:06] | kicking the shit out of Kevin James. | 干翻凯文·詹姆斯 |
| [1:05:08] | Fuck Kevin James. Kevin can wait. | 去他的凯文·詹姆斯 那又不急 |
| [1:05:11] | What we’re doing is really important. | 我们要做的事真的很重要 |
| [1:05:13] | Us stopping the movie is the most important thing | 我们阻止电影拍摄才是 |
| [1:05:16] | we’re ever gonna do… again. | 最重要的事…又做一遍 |
| [1:05:24] | Look, I have risked everything to come here… | 我不惜一切代价来到这里 |
| [1:05:28] | but it will be all be worth it | 只有山芋参演重制电影 |
| [1:05:29] | if Shan Yu can be in that reboot. | 才不枉费我的这番折腾 |
| [1:05:31] | So I guess… | 所以我猜… |
| [1:05:34] | I guess this is goodbye. | 我猜得说再见了吧 |
| [1:05:36] | No. Wait a… Wait a minute. | 不 等一下 |
| [1:05:43] | This, um… | 这是 |
| [1:05:45] | This is my legacy right here, it’s the last one | 这是我留下的最后一支了 |
| [1:05:48] | in the whole world… | 全世界最后一支了 |
| [1:05:50] | and I want you to have it to remember me by. | 我希望交到你手上 让你记住我 |
| [1:05:55] | But when you smoke it | 但你吸的时候 |
| [1:05:56] | you’re not gonna remember shit, so… | 肯定什么都记不得了 所以… |
| [1:05:59] | save it for a special occasion. | 留到特别的日子 |
| [1:06:23] | I don’t know a lot of stuff, okay? But… | 我懂的不多 但是… |
| [1:06:27] | I do know this… | 但我懂这个 |
| [1:06:29] | you’re a great fucking kid and some asshole | 你是个特别棒的孩子 你的混蛋老爸 |
| [1:06:33] | really missed out on being your dad. | 错失了你这么个好女儿 |
| [1:06:40] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [1:07:13] | Where are your badges? | 你们的通行证呢 |
| [1:07:15] | Nobody gets in, as the French say… sans badge. | 用法语说的话 就是没有通行证 谁能不进去 |
| [1:07:18] | Come on, you security dick, what’s the big deal anyway? | 别这样 死看门的 这有什么大不了的 |
| [1:07:21] | Security dick? | 死看门的 |
| [1:07:22] | The big deal is we got America’s most precious resources | 我来告诉你 这扇门背后云集了 |
| [1:07:26] | behind these doors. | 美国最珍贵的人才 |
| [1:07:27] | Actors, actresses, directors, podcasters, | 演员 导演 播主 |
| [1:07:31] | they make us laugh, they make us cry, | 他们让我们笑 让我们哭 |
| [1:07:34] | they show us ourselves. | 让我们反思 |
| [1:07:35] | And it’s my job not only to keep them safe from their greasiest nut bar fans | 我的职责不仅仅是用正义的拳头 |
| [1:07:40] | with the hammers of justice, | 保护他们免受脑残粉的骚扰 |
| [1:07:42] | but also to meet every one of their borderline infantile needs. | 也要满足他们的各种的幼稚需求 |
| [1:07:48] | Hey, security dick. | 死看门的 |
| [1:07:51] | Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead’s Keith Coogan. | 《假日少女情》的基思·库根 |
| [1:07:54] | It’s just Keith. | 叫我基思就好 |
| [1:07:55] | Thanks, that’s really hard to say. | 谢谢 说着太拗口了 |
| [1:07:56] | The candy buffet ran out of Swedish Fish. | 糖果自助里没有瑞士鱼软糖了 |
| [1:07:59] | So I guess… | 所以我想 |
| [1:08:01] | …wait for it. | 等着 |
| [1:08:03] | The fishes are done, man. | 鱼都搞完了 |
| [1:08:09] | – Right? – Yeah. | -懂了吗 -懂了 |
| [1:08:12] | Hilarious. | 太好笑了 |
| [1:08:22] | I have a question for the real Jay and Silent Bob. | 我有一个问题想问问真正的杰伊和沉默鲍勃 |
| [1:08:25] | All right, this reboot is bullshit. | 这个重制版太烂了 |
| [1:08:27] | Bullshit, what do you guys think about this reboot? | 烂透了 你们怎么看 |
| [1:08:30] | 贾森·比格斯 詹姆斯·范德比克 | |
| [1:08:31] | I got… I got this one. | 我来回答这个问题 |
| [1:08:32] | Yeah, um, it sucks. | 是的 挺差的 |
| [1:08:34] | 八卦网站 | |
| [1:08:34] | There, I said it. Are you happy now, TMZ? | 我说出来了 开心了吧 TMZ |
| [1:08:37] | Dude, TMZ’s not even here. | 兄弟 TMZ的人都没来 |
| [1:08:38] | And who’s directing this shit anyway, Kevin fucking Smith? | 再说这烂片的导演是谁 凯文·死密斯 |
| [1:08:43] | Are you fucking kidding me? This movie is doomed. | 你是在逗我吗 这部电影没救了 |
| [1:08:46] | It is… I was in Jersey Girl, okay, | 我演过《泽西女孩》 |
| [1:08:49] | – destroyed my career. – Yup. | -毁了我的演艺生涯 -同意 |
| [1:08:50] | Bluntman and Chronic was a cult classic, okay, | 《直率人和慢性人》是一部粉丝经典 |
| [1:08:53] | it doesn’t need a Kevin Smith remake. | 不需要凯文·史密斯来翻拍 |
| [1:08:55] | Reboot. | 重制 |
| [1:08:56] | How are you not pissed off, huh? | 你怎么能一点都不生气呢 |
| [1:08:58] | Kevin Smith is literally shitting in the mouth of the original movie. | 凯文·史密斯完全就是亵渎原作 |
| [1:09:04] | I think the movie is gonna be great. | 我觉得新电影会很棒 |
| [1:09:05] | Why are you sucking the reboot’s dick? | 为什么你要跪舔重制版 |
| [1:09:06] | They’re not gonna put you in it, all right. | 他们不会让你参演的 好吗 |
| [1:09:09] | They’re never gonna call you, Diplo. | 他们永远不会联系你的 迪波洛 |
| [1:09:09] | 詹姆斯·范德比克曾主演剧集 《迪波洛会怎么做》 | |
| [1:09:11] | – Listen, buttfucker. – Van Der Bitch. | -听好了 蠢货 -范德婊克 |
| [1:09:14] | He called him Van Der Bitch. | 他叫他范德婊克 |
| [1:09:19] | Interlopers. | 闯入者 |
| [1:09:21] | Shit! | 糟了 |
| [1:09:30] | 《漫画奇侠》重聚座谈 | |
| [1:09:30] | Of all said words, with tongue or pen, the saddest of these, | 总而言之 让人十分伤心的是 |
| [1:09:35] | they cancelled Comic Book Men. | 《漫画奇侠》被砍了 |
| [1:09:44] | 《疯狂店员》25周年重聚座谈 | |
| [1:10:04] | Look at these morose motherfuckers right here. | 快看那两个阴郁的混蛋 |
| [1:10:07] | 霍登·麦尼尔 《永远的直率人》 | |
| [1:10:08] | Smells like somebody shit in their cereal. Bong. | 闻起来就跟有人吃了屎一样 |
| [1:10:14] | Holy fuck, | 我的天啊 |
| [1:10:15] | they got you mixed up in this reboot shit, too? | 他们把你也卷入重制的烂摊子里了吗 |
| [1:10:18] | You sound like my agent. | 你说话真像我的经纪人 |
| [1:10:20] | What are you two dirt merchants doing in this neck of Hollywood? | 你们两个傻逼来好莱坞干什么 |
| [1:10:22] | Oh, I’ll tell you what our necks are doing in Holly’s wood. | 我跟你说说我们两个来好莱坞”干”什么 |
| [1:10:25] | We’re here to stop that fuckin’ reboot from happening, | 我们要阻止拍摄重制电影 |
| [1:10:28] | so take us to Kevin James. | 所以快带我们去见凯文·詹姆斯 |
| [1:10:31] | First of all, Hi. | 首先 你们好 |
| [1:10:33] | Nice to see you. | 很高兴见到你们 |
| [1:10:35] | Been years, oh. | 多久没见了 |
| [1:10:37] | Nice to see you. | 很高兴见到你们 |
| [1:10:40] | Good to see that one of you at least is taking his age | 很欣慰看到至少有一个人成熟了 |
| [1:10:42] | and his health seriously. | 并且注重自身健康 |
| [1:10:43] | Hey, what’s with all the wires? | 这么多线是做什么 |
| [1:10:44] | Are you trying to destroy the stage? | 你准备搞些破坏吗 |
| [1:10:46] | Oh, just finished recording a live episode of my podcast. | 我的一期播客的现场录制刚刚结束 |
| [1:10:49] | Holy fuck, you got a podcast, too? | 天啊 你也有播客 |
| [1:10:51] | Is it to contextualize life in America for your audience in China? | 是为了向你的中国听众全方位展示美国生活吗 |
| [1:10:56] | What? | 什么 |
| [1:10:56] | No, I interview people in the funny book biz. | 不 我采访漫画作家 |
| [1:10:59] | Since this is my first Chronic-Con as guest of honor, | 这是我第一次作为贵宾参加慢展 |
| [1:11:01] | it’s time I got someone else to interview me. | 终于轮到别人来采访我了 |
| [1:11:03] | Who? Banky fucking Edwards? | 谁 班奇·爱德华吗 |
| [1:11:03] | 凯文·史密斯系列电影中的虚拟人物 | |
| [1:11:05] | Not Banky fucking Edwards. | 不是班奇·爱德华 |
| [1:11:08] | Alyssa fucking Jones. | 是艾莉莎·琼斯 |
| [1:11:09] | 同前 | |
| [1:11:10] | It’s fucking Finger-Cuffs. | 是双飞女 |
| [1:11:12] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [1:11:14] | Wait, what’s so funny? | 有什么好笑的 |
| [1:11:15] | Remember Chasing Amy, the classy book I did | 还记得《猜·情·寻》吗 我凭借《直率人和慢性人》 |
| [1:11:17] | after Bluntman and Chronic that won me all the awards? | 获奖无数之后 创作的那本经典漫画 |
| [1:11:19] | Anyway, Alyssa’s turning that book into a series for Netflix. | 艾莉莎要把它改编成奈飞剧 |
| [1:11:23] | It was always a story that should have been told | 从男同或者女性的角度 |
| [1:11:24] | from a queer perspective or a woman’s perspective | 总能发掘出不同的故事 |
| [1:11:28] | or any perspective other than a cis white man’s. | 其实只要不是顺性别白男角度就好 |
| [1:11:31] | Anyway we’re laughing because Netflix wants | 我们觉得好笑是因为奈飞 |
| [1:11:33] | an edgier title than Chasing Amy, | 想取一个比《猜·情·寻》更抓眼球的名字 |
| [1:11:34] | one of their suggestions was Finger-Cuffs. | 他们给的提议之一就是《双飞女》 |
| [1:11:36] | You should text them a picture | 你应该拍张照片 |
| [1:11:37] | of these two juggle heads, and say they love your title. | 告诉他们这两个呆瓜喜欢那名字 |
| [1:11:40] | Who are they? Harold and Kumar? | 他们是谁 哈罗德和卡玛吗 |
| [1:11:40] | 《寻堡奇遇》主角 | |
| [1:11:42] | What? No. This is the actual Jay and Silent Bob. | 什么 不是 他们是真正的杰伊和沉默鲍勃 |
| [1:11:45] | – What? – Yeah. | -真的假的 -真的 |
| [1:11:46] | Me and Banky used to buy weed off these guys at Quik Stop. | 班奇和我以前在便利店找他们买大麻 |
| [1:11:48] | That’s where I got the idea for Bluntman and Chronic. | 《直率人和慢性人》灵感就是来自于他们 |
| [1:11:50] | Then the quiet one gave me the title idea for Chasing Amy. | 不说话的那个让我想到了《猜·情·寻》的名字 |
| [1:11:53] | Come to think of it, you motherfuckers | 现在想想 你们两个混蛋 |
| [1:11:54] | pay off like slot machines. | 像老虎机一样赚钱 |
| [1:11:56] | Save some new shit for me to steal. | 留些新点子给我借鉴 |
| [1:11:58] | There you are. | 你在这里啊 |
| [1:11:59] | Hey, hon. | 亲爱的 |
| [1:12:00] | Hey, Holden. Great panel. | 霍登 座谈很不错 |
| [1:12:02] | She’s looking for you, again. | 她又在找你了 |
| [1:12:04] | – Already? – Yes. | -这么快 -是的 |
| [1:12:05] | – I’m off to release the Kraken. – Sorry. | -我要去释放巨妖了 -不好意思 |
| [1:12:08] | “Release the Kraken,” What is that, | “释放巨妖” 那是什么意思 |
| [1:12:09] | a sex thing between married people? | 已婚人士之间的性暗号吗 |
| [1:12:12] | Are you even remotely familiar with the story of Chasing Amy? | 你们对《猜·情·寻》的情节一点都不熟悉吗 |
| [1:12:15] | You’re in it. I know it’s a lot of words, but fuck. | 你们俩也在电影里 我知道台词很多 但不至于吧 |
| [1:12:18] | No, she’s gay, bro. | 不 她是同性恋 |
| [1:12:20] | Okay, obviously Alyssa and I aren’t married, | 艾莉莎和我显然不是夫妻 |
| [1:12:22] | married people don’t like each other. We’re co-parents. | 夫妻不喜欢对方 我们是共同抚养孩子 |
| [1:12:26] | – Wait a second, you have a kid? – Yeah. | -等等 你们有孩子 -是的 |
| [1:12:28] | Alyssa and her partner wanted to have a baby | 艾莉莎和她的伴侣想要一个孩子 |
| [1:12:29] | and since we’ve known each other and, more importantly, | 而我们又互相知根知底 更重要的是 |
| [1:12:32] | liked each other for 20 years, they asked me to be the father. | 20年来一直互相欣赏 所以她们拜托我捐精 |
| [1:12:35] | Yes, you got to hit that shit again, son? | 那你又好好爽了一把 对吧 |
| [1:12:39] | I can see you’ve matured well. | 我能看出来 你成熟了许多 |
| [1:12:42] | No, I got to hit the doctor’s office | 不 我是在医生办公室完成的 |
| [1:12:43] | where I filled a cup. | 射进杯子里 |
| [1:12:45] | We went in-vitro. Science, bro. | 我们做的试管婴儿 科学懂吗 |
| [1:12:48] | You know, a year later I met a girl who loves me. | 一年之后 那个爱我的小女孩出生了 |
| [1:12:53] | Who loves me. | 爱我的小女孩 |
| [1:12:57] | She wants to know who Daddy’s talking to. | 她想知道爸爸在和谁聊天 |
| [1:12:59] | Hi, little pink sugar heart. | 小甜心 你好 |
| [1:13:03] | Say hi to Daddy’s friends. | 跟爸爸的朋友们打个招呼 |
| [1:13:04] | Daddy’s known these boys since he was little. | 爸爸从小就认识他们了 |
| [1:13:06] | Boys, this is our daughter, Amy. | 这是我们的女儿 艾米 |
| [1:13:12] | Dude, just like that story you tell. | 跟你讲的那个故事一模一样 |
| [1:13:14] | Say hello to Jay and Silent Bob. | 跟杰伊和沉默鲍勃打个招呼 |
| [1:13:16] | Hi, Jay and Silent Bob. | 杰伊和沉默鲍勃 你们好 |
| [1:13:19] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [1:13:24] | So you got her? We’re gonna go grab a smoke | 你来照顾她 我们去抽根烟 |
| [1:13:26] | and check out the cosplay. | 然后去看看角色扮演 |
| [1:13:30] | Okay. Have fun, thanks for the interview. | 玩得开心 多谢刚刚的采访 |
| [1:13:34] | So what do you think, kiddo? | 你们觉得怎么样 |
| [1:13:35] | Do you like these stinky old fools? | 你们喜欢这些老家伙吗 |
| [1:13:38] | Dude, how did something so amazing | 老兄 你这个画漫画的 |
| [1:13:40] | come from your funny book making balls? | 是怎么生出这么个小天使的 |
| [1:13:43] | Well, it’s a mystery to me, too, G. | 我也想不通这个 |
| [1:13:47] | I’m a huge fan of the kid. | 我特别喜欢这孩子 |
| [1:13:49] | Bluntman’s getting a reboot, | 《直率人和慢性人》电影要重制了 |
| [1:13:51] | Netflix is making Amy. | 奈飞要拍《猜·情·寻》 |
| [1:13:53] | People hate the present so much, | 人们如此憎恶当下 |
| [1:13:54] | it’s like they wanna retreat into the past. | 好像都想退回过去 |
| [1:13:56] | All of a sudden all my old bullshit is back. | 突然之间所有我的破事都回来了 |
| [1:13:59] | And some of that old bullshit meant the world to me | 而有些破事在最初的时候 |
| [1:14:02] | when I was starting out. | 对我非常重要 |
| [1:14:04] | But now that all my childhood dreams | 但现在我所有童年的梦想 |
| [1:14:05] | are starting to come true, | 都在逐渐实现 |
| [1:14:06] | I mean, it’s nice, don’t get me wrong… | 别误会 这很棒 |
| [1:14:09] | that kid is just way more interesting to me. | 我只是更喜欢这孩子 |
| [1:14:12] | I used to think life was all about me, | 我曾经以为生活是以自己为中心的 |
| [1:14:13] | I was the hero of my own story. | 我是自己故事的主角 |
| [1:14:15] | A Bruce Wayne of one life-long issue of Detective Comics, so to speak. | 可以说是终身发行的《侦探漫画》里的布鲁斯·韦恩 |
| [1:14:19] | And then that kid came along and suddenly you realize… | 然后这孩子出现了 突然你就意识到 |
| [1:14:23] | you’re not Bruce Wayne anymore. | 你不再是布鲁斯·韦恩了 |
| [1:14:25] | You’re Thomas Wayne | 你是托马斯·韦恩 |
| [1:14:27] | or Bruce Wayne’s mom, whose name escapes me. | 或是布鲁斯·韦恩的妈妈 记不起她的名字了 |
| [1:14:33] | Anyway, I’m just here to set the real story in motion. | 总而言之 我只是想开始真实的生活 |
| [1:14:37] | Because once you become a parent, | 因为一旦成为父母 |
| [1:14:39] | you’re not the star anymore. You’re the stage. | 你就不是明星了 你是舞台 |
| [1:14:42] | I’m just here to prop up my kid so she can put on | 我只是来支撑我的孩子 让她能够 |
| [1:14:44] | the show of her life, like my parents did for me, | 上演自己的人生 就像我的父母 |
| [1:14:47] | like theirs did before them. | 还有我父母的父母一样 |
| [1:14:49] | And if you’re lucky enough to have a kid, | 如果你有幸有了孩子 |
| [1:14:50] | the tradeoff is you don’t really get a third act to your story, | 付出的代价就是你故事的第三幕 |
| [1:14:53] | because the story changes. | 因为故事变了 |
| [1:14:55] | All of a sudden it’s not about you anymore… | 突然间 在你以自我为中心的人生中 |
| [1:14:57] | for the first time in your self-involved life… | 你头一次不是故事的主角了 |
| [1:15:00] | that’s okay. | 不过没关系 |
| [1:15:03] | Kids are like our reboots, | 孩子就像我们的重制版 |
| [1:15:04] | another chance to tell a brand-new version of the same old story. | 又一个重新演绎老故事的机会 |
| [1:15:08] | I know I’m supposed to be teaching Amy stuff, | 我知道我应该教导艾米 |
| [1:15:10] | but it’s like I’m learning from her every day. | 但是感觉我每天都在向她学习 |
| [1:15:14] | So, spend my days chasing Amy… | 我每天都活在《猜·情·寻》中 |
| [1:15:18] | so to speak. | 可以这么说吧 |
| [1:15:22] | Look. I know I dragged us all the way to Hollywood | 我知道我带我俩来好莱坞 |
| [1:15:24] | to stop this fucking reboot from happening, | 是为了阻止重制版的拍摄 |
| [1:15:27] | but I haven’t been there for Milly | 但米莉出生后 |
| [1:15:28] | her whole fucking life, Silent Bob. | 我一直没陪过她 沉默鲍勃 |
| [1:15:30] | Sorry. Who’s Milly? | 等等 谁是米莉 |
| [1:15:32] | And we came to get our names back, | 我们是来夺回自己的名字的 |
| [1:15:35] | but I have a new fucking name, Silent Bob, | 但我有个新名字了 沉默鲍勃 |
| [1:15:37] | and it’s fucking Dad, okay? | 这名字就是爸爸 好吗 |
| [1:15:39] | And that will be the only name I ever need again. | 我这辈子只要这个名字就够了 |
| [1:15:45] | Yo, Bluntboy, you think you can get us in the reboot shoot | 直率小子 你能带我们去会厅的 |
| [1:15:47] | in the ballroom? | 重制版拍摄现场吗 |
| [1:15:49] | I’m guest of honor, bro. | 我是贵宾 兄弟 |
| [1:15:55] | Thanks, bro. | 谢了 兄弟 |
| [1:15:58] | – They’re gone, girl. – Where? | -她们走了 女儿 -去哪了 |
| [1:16:00] | They’re on the town. It’s just us. | 他们去找乐子了 只有咱俩 |
| [1:16:03] | We’re the Just Us League. | 我们是咱俩联盟 |
| [1:16:04] | What are you looking at me like that for? | 你干嘛这样看着我 |
| [1:16:06] | You’re like, “Oh, go fuck yourself.” | 你想说 “去你妈的” |
| [1:16:11] | Okay, Shan Yu. This is it. | 好了 山芋 我们到了 |
| [1:16:14] | Your dream is about to come true. | 你的梦想就要成真了 |
| [1:16:16] | VIP, out of the way, out of the way. | 贵宾 让开 让开 |
| [1:16:19] | Watch your beard, man. | 注意你的胡子 伙计 |
| [1:16:21] | Okay, everybody. Everybody, listen up. | 好了 所有人 听好了 |
| [1:16:25] | We can’t take any more extras. | 临时演员已经招满了 |
| [1:16:27] | Get out of here. | 你们都走吧 |
| [1:16:29] | No. We’re… We’re next. | 不 下一个就是我们了 |
| [1:16:31] | You… No, you’re not. Okay? Sign in is done. | 不是你们 好吗 报名结束了 |
| [1:16:35] | Well, I’m not done, motherfucker. | 我还没结束呢 混蛋 |
| [1:16:36] | Did you not hear that? Get out of here. | 你没听到我说的吗 赶紧走 |
| [1:16:39] | I’m done today and you’re done today. | 我的工作结束了 你们也结束了 |
| [1:16:49] | If we can’t stop this reboot, | 如果我们不能阻止重制版 |
| [1:16:51] | we might as well watch this reboot. | 那我们不如看看重制版吧 |
| [1:16:53] | Get your VIP badges right here. | 过来拿贵宾通行证吧 |
| [1:16:56] | One, two, three, four… | 一 二 三 四 |
| [1:17:08] | I’ve never been on a movie set before. | 我从没来过电影片场 |
| [1:17:10] | Oh, we have. And movie people are dicks, especially directors. | 我们来过 拍电影的人都是混蛋 尤其是导演 |
| [1:17:15] | Ladies and gentlemen, | 女士们先生们 |
| [1:17:16] | the director of Bluntman v Chronic, Kevin Smith. | 有请《直率人对慢性人》的导演 凯文·史密斯 |
| [1:17:27] | Oh, my God, man. Thank you for fucking being here. | 天呐 谢谢大家来到现场 |
| [1:17:30] | Number one, happy Chronic-Con, everybody. | 首先 祝大家观展快乐 |
| [1:17:36] | I don’t know if anybody knows this, | 你们也许不知道 |
| [1:17:37] | but last year, I had a heart attack. | 去年 我心脏病发作了 |
| [1:17:39] | So, what I did was cast the movie | 因为我差点死掉而伤心的人 |
| [1:17:42] | with a bunch of people who were sad that I almost died. | 我把他们都请来演这部电影了 |
| [1:17:45] | I guilted the cast… | 我利用他们的内疚 |
| [1:17:48] | into joining the movie. So, you know, SAG should give us | 逼他们参演 所以美国演员工会奖 |
| [1:17:50] | award for the guiltiest fucking cast, man. | 真该给我们颁发最内疚演员奖 |
| [1:17:54] | I hate this guy. | 我讨厌这家伙 |
| [1:17:55] | He forces his kid to be in everything he makes. | 他拍什么片子都要拉上自己的孩子 |
| [1:17:58] | Right now it’s just an idea in your heads, | 目前它只是你们脑中的一个想法 |
| [1:18:00] | “Ooh, what can this movie be?” | “这部电影会是什么样子呢” |
| [1:18:01] | Fuck ideas. I’m from Hollywood. That’s what we say and shit. | 去它的想法 我是好莱坞人 我们都这么说 |
| [1:18:05] | So, what I’m gonna do, | 所以我要做的是 |
| [1:18:06] | we’re gonna show you an actual clip from the movie, | 现在就给你们看一段 |
| [1:18:09] | Bluntman v Chronic right now, man. | 《直率人对慢性人》中的片段 |
| [1:18:13] | Ladies and gentlemen, Bluntman v Chronic. | 女士们先生们 请看《直率人对慢性人》 |
| [1:18:17] | Check this shit out. | 瞧好了 |
| [1:18:35] | Bluntman! | 直率人 |
| [1:18:39] | 班诺伊 | |
| [1:18:52] | 基墨 | |
| [1:19:08] | Holy fuck. | 我去 |
| [1:19:10] | Oh, you’re mad at me? | 你生我的气了 |
| [1:19:14] | Lemme be blunt, man. | 让我直说吧 直率人 |
| [1:19:17] | I liked you better when you were silent, Bob. | 你沉默的时候我更喜欢你 沉默鲍勃 |
| [1:19:24] | If you really wanna V, I’m ready to blast your ass | 你要真想对打 我就要打爆你的屁股 |
| [1:19:28] | and kick you in the hater tots. | 踢碎你的”黑子薯球” |
| [1:19:31] | Merkin was right, dude. “Hater Totz” does mean | 梅尔金说得对 老兄 “黑子薯球” |
| [1:19:33] | different things to different people. | 对不同人的意义不同 |
| [1:19:52] | Oh, indica. You son of a bitch. | 大麻 你这个混蛋 |
| [1:19:55] | Smells like this reboot went up in smoke. | 闻起来这部重制版要吹了 |
| [1:19:59] | – Alfred. – Hi, man. | -阿尔佛雷德 -你好啊 |
| [1:20:02] | 钟 | |
| [1:20:04] | Sorry to How High, dude, | 对不住了 《嗨到哈佛》 |
| [1:20:05] | but this is now the greatest movie ever made. | 但这才是有史以来最伟大的电影 |
| [1:20:10] | When you said you wanted to V, you meant vaping? | 你说想V 是抽电子烟的意思吗 |
| [1:20:13] | I thought the V was for versus. | 我还以为是对打的意思 |
| [1:20:16] | – Stoners don’t fight, man. – No. | -瘾君子不打架 -是啊 |
| [1:20:19] | ‘Cause when you’re baked, | 因为磕嗨了之后 |
| [1:20:20] | you finally see all the important details, you know? | 你就能看到所有重要的细节了 |
| [1:20:23] | You know what I never noticed before? | 你知道我以前没注意到什么吗 |
| [1:20:25] | This place is, like… It’s huge. | 这地方 好大啊 |
| [1:20:30] | But, like, size is, like, relative, man, you know. | 但是尺寸是相对的 知道吧 |
| [1:20:33] | You know, it’s like little dogs. | 就像是小狗 |
| [1:20:36] | They don’t know they’re little. | 它们不知道自己小 |
| [1:20:38] | That’s why they always start shit with big dogs. | 所以它们总是挑衅大狗 |
| [1:20:41] | They don’t get size, man. | 它们不懂尺寸 |
| [1:20:43] | Yeah. You know what else they don’t get? Money. | 你知道还有什么是它们不懂的吗 钱 |
| [1:20:47] | Try explaining money to a dog. | 试试跟狗解释钱的意义吧 |
| [1:20:50] | I have. It just looked at me like, “Oh?” | 我试过 结果它看着我 满脸疑惑 |
| [1:20:54] | I gave a dog a 20-dollar bill once, man. It didn’t work out. | 我曾经给了一条狗20美元 不管用 |
| [1:21:03] | Hey, is this one of those comic book movies, man? | 这是那种漫改电影吗 |
| [1:21:10] | Am I in Black Panther? | 我是在演《黑豹》吗 |
| [1:21:16] | Oh, fuck. | 妈的 |
| [1:21:19] | Genius! | 天才 |
| [1:21:21] | Wow fucking wow. | 太牛逼了 |
| [1:21:23] | Give that man an Oscar. | 给他一个奥斯卡奖 |
| [1:21:26] | And that’s just a taste, ladies and gentlemen. | 这还只是一个片段 女士们先生们 |
| [1:21:28] | That’s a soupçon. | 只是个片段 |
| [1:21:29] | Okay, the scene that we’re gonna shoot here today, | 好了 我们今天要在这里 |
| [1:21:31] | right now, is the invasion of Chronic-Con, man. | 拍摄的场景 是入侵慢展 |
| [1:21:36] | So, give it up for the contemptible | 请大家鼓掌欢迎卑鄙的 |
| [1:21:38] | Cock Knocker Cockmandos, ladies and gentlemen. | 老二打手突击队 女士们先生们 |
| [1:21:43] | Look at that shit. We spent so much money | 快看啊 我们花了超多钱 |
| [1:21:46] | on those costumes it’s fucking crazy. | 制作这些服装 太荒唐了 |
| [1:21:48] | So, the cast is fucking huge. | 演员阵容真他妈庞大 |
| [1:21:50] | I’m still thinking about putting my friend, | 我还在考虑让我的朋友 |
| [1:21:51] | Jason Mewes, in it and shit. | 杰森·缪斯参演 |
| [1:21:53] | And the jury is out on whether I put my kid in it. | 并且我还没决定要不要让我女儿参演 |
| [1:21:55] | She’s an actress now. | 她现在是演员了 |
| [1:21:56] | But I don’t believe in nepotism so I might leave her out of it. | 但我不看好裙带关系 所以可能不带她了 |
| [1:21:58] | Man, she can earn her own fucking keep in Hollywood. | 她应该在好莱坞自己打拼 |
| [1:22:03] | What the fuck are you doing? | 你他妈在干什么 |
| [1:22:05] | He kind of looks like the director. | 他长得和那个导演挺像的 |
| [1:22:08] | My bad, I forgot to say spoilers. | 不好意思 我忘记说剧透预警了 |
| [1:22:11] | No way, man. That guy wears jorts. | 不可能 那家伙穿牛短 |
| [1:22:14] | This guy would never wear jorts. | 这家伙绝不会穿牛短 |
| [1:22:16] | – What the fuck are jorts? – Jean shorts. | -牛短是什么鬼 -牛仔短裤 |
| [1:22:19] | You stay here. Wait for my signal. | 你在这别动 等我信号 |
| [1:22:22] | You, come with me. | 你 跟我来 |
| [1:22:25] | Before we get started, | 在我们开始前 |
| [1:22:27] | I have to go backstage | 我得去一趟后台 |
| [1:22:28] | and take care of some very important director-type things. | 处理一些非常重要的导演工作 |
| [1:22:31] | But as soon as I get back, man, | 但是等我回来 各位 |
| [1:22:33] | we’re gonna make some movie magic together, | 我们就要一起展现电影的魅力 |
| [1:22:35] | ladies and gentlemen. Yes, movie magic! | 女士们先生们 没错 电影的魅力 |
| [1:22:39] | 史莫客 | |
| [1:22:40] | Where is my smoking jacket? | 我的便服呢 |
| [1:22:43] | Did you see that crowd out there, Mike? | 你看到外面的人群了吗 迈克 |
| [1:22:45] | Fuck, man. We’re back, bitch. Fuck Cop Out. | 妈的 我们回来了 《拍档侦探》去死吧 |
| [1:22:48] | Thank you, my friend. | 谢谢 朋友 |
| [1:22:51] | Life is good. | 人生真美好 |
| [1:22:52] | Life is good and I’m now alone and finally… | 人生真美好 我终于一个人了 |
| [1:23:22] | Sleep, sleep, sleep. | 睡吧 睡吧 睡吧 |
| [1:23:26] | Where’s this signal at? | 怎么还不发信号 |
| [1:23:31] | I need to talk to him. | 我得跟他谈谈 |
| [1:23:31] | – He is occupied. – Who are you? | -他没空 -你是谁 |
| [1:23:33] | – He told me to tell you… – He told you what? | -他让我告诉你 -他告诉你什么 |
| [1:23:36] | – Those girls and that old man. – He told you? | -那几个女孩还有那个老头 -他告诉你的 |
| [1:23:44] | So… | 是这样 |
| [1:23:46] | the director stopped speaking to me. Yeah. | 导演不跟我说话了 嗯 |
| [1:23:49] | I’m the first AD. | 我是第一助理导演 |
| [1:23:50] | Right, so this whole thing has gone off the rails. | 好吗 整件事都脱轨了 |
| [1:23:52] | This is a shitshow, worse than House Party 4. | 简直一团糟 比《家庭聚会4》还糟 |
| [1:23:53] | Trust me when I say that. | 相信我这话 |
| [1:23:55] | But he told some little girl who I’ve never met before | 但他告诉一个我从没见过的女孩 |
| [1:23:57] | to tell me to tell you that he would like all of you diverse | 让我告诉你们 他想要你们这些多样化 |
| [1:24:00] | and interesting young children to get on stage with him today | 并且有趣的小孩子跟他一同上台 |
| [1:24:03] | and do this scene. | 拍摄这个场景 |
| [1:24:04] | Hello, everybody. | 大家好 |
| [1:24:06] | I’m here because Kevin Smith lost his voice. | 因为凯文·史密斯失声了 所以我来了 |
| [1:24:13] | But he asked me to tell you to welcome to the stage | 不过他让我告诉你们 掌声有请 |
| [1:24:17] | all the way from China, Bluntman superfan, Shan Yu. | 来自中国的直率人超级粉丝 山芋 |
| [1:24:37] | Come on. Come on. | 来吧 来吧 |
| [1:24:46] | Holy shit. That girl just pulled a gun on Kevin Smith. | 天啊 那女孩拿枪指着凯文·史密斯 |
| [1:24:50] | ‘Cause she probably paid to see Yoga Hosers. | 因为她可能是买票来看《瑜伽妹斗罗》的 |
| [1:24:53] | That’s not Kevin Smith. | 这不是凯文·史密斯 |
| [1:24:55] | Fist him. | 揍他 |
| [1:24:58] | Oh, shit. | 靠 |
| [1:25:00] | The guy that’s not Kevin Smith just got fisted. | 那个不是凯文·史密斯的人被揍了 |
| [1:25:03] | fist也可理解为”拳交” | |
| [1:25:03] | And he didn’t even use lubricant. | 他甚至连润滑剂都没用 |
| [1:25:05] | Throw that trash into the garbage. | 把那个人渣扔进垃圾桶 |
| [1:25:09] | Commence collusion. | 密谋开始 |
| [1:25:13] | So the fake Cock Knockers are the real bad guys. | 假的老二打手是真的坏人 |
| [1:25:16] | Fuck, this movie’s hard to keep straight. | 操 这部电影真难看明白 |
| [1:25:18] | What are you doing, Shan Yu? | 你在干什么 山芋 |
| [1:25:20] | Is it not as clear as vodka? | 你们还不明白吗 |
| [1:25:23] | I’m not teenager from China. | 我不是中国来的少女 |
| [1:25:31] | I am secret agent from Russia. | 我是俄罗斯来的特工 |
| [1:25:34] | One of them was wearing a cat suit, I fucking knew it. | 我就知道她们之中有人穿着猫女服 |
| [1:25:41] | He smells American too. | 他散发着美国人的恶臭 |
| [1:25:49] | 重金属废品场 我们的废品够硬核 | |
| [1:25:59] | Russia’s infiltrated American banks, | 俄罗斯渗透了美国银行 |
| [1:26:02] | we have infiltrated American elections, | 我们渗透了美国选举 |
| [1:26:05] | and now, thanks to you… | 现在 多亏了你们 |
| [1:26:09] | we infiltrate American pop culture conventions. | 我们渗透了美国流行文化展会 |
| [1:26:14] | Why? | 图什么 |
| [1:26:15] | Take out your mobile devices | 把你们的手机都拿出来 |
| [1:26:16] | and broadcast this historic moment to the rest of the world. | 向全世界广播这一历史性时刻 |
| [1:26:22] | What if you only have a flip phone? | 如果只有翻盖手机怎么办 |
| [1:26:24] | People of America… | 美国的人民 |
| [1:26:27] | I come in peace, | 我为和平而来 |
| [1:26:29] | but director of Jersey Girl… | 但是《泽西女孩》的导演 |
| [1:26:34] | Holy fuck! | 我的天 |
| [1:26:37] | He will soon go to pieces | 他马上就要死了 |
| [1:26:39] | when I execute him live on internet. | 我要直播处决他 |
| [1:26:44] | Is this because I’m a proud jorts wearer? | 这是因为我骄傲地穿着牛短吗 |
| [1:26:47] | This because you’re standard issue, | 这是因为你是 |
| [1:26:49] | overrated American pop culture celebrity | 美国流行文化标配的被高估的名人 |
| [1:26:52] | who repeats himself artistically, | 在艺术上不断重复自我 |
| [1:26:55] | if what you do can even be called art, | 如果你的作品能算得上艺术的话 |
| [1:26:58] | and clings desperately to past glory of 1990s. | 并且绝望地依附于90年代的辉煌 |
| [1:27:02] | You’ve been talking to my wife. | 你跟我老婆聊过了 |
| [1:27:03] | I’m not gonna let you do this, Shan Yu. | 我不会让你这么做的 山芋 |
| [1:27:06] | But you helped me do this, Millennium. | 但是你帮我这么做的 00后 |
| [1:27:10] | I catfish you and your friends | 我骗了你和你的朋友 |
| [1:27:13] | so I can harness the liberal sympathies | 就是为了利用自由派人士 |
| [1:27:15] | of broken young women | 对脆弱的年轻女性的同情心 |
| [1:27:17] | who hoped to fill the deep emotional void left by… | 你们希望借此填补情感上的空虚 因为… |
| [1:27:22] | a sibling who tries to kill you… | 你哥哥试图杀了你 |
| [1:27:26] | or the solitude of silence… | 或是听不见让你感到寂寞 |
| [1:27:30] | or worsen your privileged life crying about the father | 或是你抱怨没有爸爸 糟蹋优越的生活 |
| [1:27:34] | who left you before you were even born. | 你还没出生他就抛弃你了 |
| [1:27:39] | Sick fucking burn, man. I’ll shut up. | 你也太毒舌了 好吧我闭嘴 |
| [1:27:41] | Maybe her dad didn’t leave her. | 也许她爸爸没抛弃她 |
| [1:27:44] | What he say? | 他说什么 |
| [1:27:47] | Maybe her dad didn’t even know | 也许她爸爸直到前几天 |
| [1:27:48] | he had a kid until the other day. | 都不知道自己有个孩子 |
| [1:27:52] | What are you saying? | 你在说什么 |
| [1:27:53] | Jesus, for a private school girl, | 老天 你上私立学校 |
| [1:27:55] | you’re pretty fucking stupid. I’m your father. | 怎么还这么蠢 我就是你爸爸 |
| [1:28:00] | Oh, God. Wait. | 天啊 等等 |
| [1:28:03] | – No way. No… No fucking way. – Yes fucking way. | -不可能 这他妈不可能 -这他妈是真的 |
| [1:28:07] | But I only found out the day we came to Chicago | 我们去芝加哥那天我才发现的 |
| [1:28:10] | and I wanted to tell you the whole trip, | 整个旅途中我都想告诉你 |
| [1:28:11] | but I promised your mom I wouldn’t. | 但我向你妈妈承诺了我不会说 |
| [1:28:13] | But I’m telling you now, because, sometimes, | 但我现在要告诉你 因为有时候 |
| [1:28:15] | breaking a promise is the right fucking thing to do, all right? | 违背诺言才是正确的选择 好吗 |
| [1:28:19] | Because if I kept every promise I ever made, | 因为如果我遵守了每一个诺言 |
| [1:28:21] | you wouldn’t be here, | 那就不会有你 |
| [1:28:23] | because this one time, | 因为有一次 |
| [1:28:24] | I made a promise to your mom that I wouldn’t cum in her. | 我向你妈妈承诺不会内射她 |
| [1:28:27] | – What the fuck, man! – Look, I’m sorry, all right? | -你说什么呢 -对不起 好吗 |
| [1:28:30] | I was only stalling so I could get closer | 我只是为了拖延时间 |
| [1:28:33] | to the guy with the big-ass gun, now! | 靠近拿枪的大个子 快 |
| [1:28:39] | Yes! | 好 |
| [1:28:40] | Here comes… | 受死吧 |
| [1:28:42] | This fucker’s fake, dude. | 这玩意儿是假的 老兄 |
| [1:28:44] | Why would it be real? | 怎么可能是真的呢 |
| [1:28:46] | No! | 不 |
| [1:28:47] | Don’t any of you cosplaying cocks have some real fucking guns? | 你们这些角色扮演的混蛋就没有真枪吗 |
| [1:28:49] | – What the… – I sees him, he’s right there. | -搞什么 -我看见他了 就在这边 |
| [1:28:51] | – Let him go! – Nyet. | -放了他 -不行 |
| [1:28:53] | – Before we execute Kevin Smith… – Fuck. | -在我们处决凯文·史密斯之前 -操 |
| [1:28:57] | first, we execute this old degenerate. | 我们要先处决这个老变态 |
| [1:29:00] | – No! – Old? Man, fuck you! | -不 -谁是老头 你去死 |
| [1:29:02] | I give big daddy a moment to offer his newfound daughter | 我给爸爸一点时间 跟他新认识的女儿 |
| [1:29:06] | any last heartfelt words | 说几句由衷的遗言 |
| [1:29:08] | before we stop his heart. | 然后就干掉他 |
| [1:29:11] | Kid, I’m okay with dying right now, | 孩子 我死而无憾了 |
| [1:29:14] | because I know a small piece of me is gonna live on in you. | 因为我知道我的一小部分会在你体内活下去 |
| [1:29:18] | Not if they fucking kill me too, you idiot. | 除非他们把我也杀了 你个蠢货 |
| [1:29:21] | Holy shit, you’re right. Somebody save me! | 我去 你说得对 谁来救救我 |
| [1:29:28] | What was that? | 那是怎么回事 |
| [1:29:30] | You made him mad, he’s mad now! | 你惹怒他了 他发怒了 |
| [1:29:37] | What is that, Ted Underhill? | 那是怎么回事 泰德·安德希尔 |
| [1:29:39] | I am not Ted Underhill. | 我不是泰德·安德希尔 |
| [1:29:42] | Fuck. He’s got a secret identity. | 操 他有个秘密身份 |
| [1:29:44] | Allow me to introduce myself. | 请容我自我介绍一下 |
| [1:29:47] | I’m Jay | 我是杰伊 |
| [1:29:50] | and this is my hetero-lifemate… | 那是我的直男人生伴侣 |
| [1:29:55] | Iron Bob! | 钢铁鲍勃 |
| [1:30:00] | – It’s Robert Downey, Jr. – What? | -那是小罗伯特·唐尼 -什么 |
| [1:30:02] | Marvel gonna sue somebody. | 漫威要告我们侵权了 |
| [1:30:13] | Shoot the tin man. | 开枪打铁罐人 |
| [1:30:14] | Shoot! Keep shooting! | 开枪 继续开枪 |
| [1:30:19] | Dasvidaniya! | 永别了 |
| [1:30:22] | Yeah, Iron Bob! | 厉害 钢铁鲍勃 |
| [1:30:24] | For Mother Russia! | 为了祖国俄罗斯 |
| [1:30:38] | We know that guy. | 我们认识那家伙 |
| [1:30:42] | Holy fuck! I can’t wait until they make him a Funko Pop. | 天啊 等不及看他们推出他的摇头公仔了 |
| [1:30:45] | 无垢者 | |
| [1:30:46] | 杀了那些主人 | |
| [1:30:48] | 杀了那些士兵 | |
| [1:30:50] | 杀了每一个拳头超大的家伙 | |
| [1:30:55] | Oh, my God, he just spoke fucking Valyrian! | 天啊 他刚刚说的是瓦雷利亚语 |
| [1:30:57] | I’ll fuck anything that moves! | 我要干翻一切会动的东西 |
| [1:31:00] | Eject! | 射你 |
| [1:31:01] | Holy shit, this shit’s fucking bananas! | 我去 这他妈太疯狂了 |
| [1:31:03] | Go! Hadouken! | 上啊 波动拳 |
| [1:31:06] | Man, I smell some fucking good weed, | 老兄 我他妈闻到上好的大麻了 |
| [1:31:08] | that’s some of that dank-ass shit, | 是那种高级货 |
| [1:31:09] | knock a motherfucker out just like that. Like I said… | 一闻就倒 就像那样 |
| [1:31:15] | 逗你玩 | |
| [1:31:18] | Shit. I’ve been drugged. | 该死 我被迷晕了 |
| [1:31:22] | That’s strong shit. | 真够强力的 |
| [1:31:24] | Little girl. Can I buy some weed from you? | 小姑娘 我能跟你买点大麻吗 |
| [1:31:26] | I’m busy. | 我正在忙 |
| [1:31:33] | My precious podcasting ears! | 我宝贵的播客耳朵 |
| [1:31:36] | – Fuck! – It hurts, Yes? | -操 -很痛苦 对吧 |
| [1:31:39] | That’s because this is not a podcast recording device. | 因为这不是播客的录音装置 |
| [1:31:44] | It is KGB sonic disrupter. | 这是克格勃的声波干扰器 |
| [1:31:47] | You suck! | 你真贱 |
| [1:31:55] | 听力根本没那么重要 | |
| [1:31:58] | Fuck, yeah! | 牛逼 |
| [1:32:05] | Let’s get aggressive, girls. | 我们动手吧 姑娘们 |
| [1:32:10] | Fuck. | 操 |
| [1:32:16] | That joint you gave me really came in handy. | 你给我的那支大麻烟派上用场了 |
| [1:32:18] | Whatever you do, don’t tell your mom I gave you weed. | 不论如何 都不要告诉你妈我给了你大麻 |
| [1:32:21] | Oh, my God, I fucking love this reboot. Shit. | 天啊 我爱死这部重制版了 |
| [1:32:24] | All right. So right about now, | 好了 现在我们差不多 |
| [1:32:26] | man, we finished up all three acts of the story, | 完成了整个故事的三幕 |
| [1:32:29] | all the main characters are where they need to be… | 所有主要角色都就位了 |
| [1:32:32] | all that’s left is the emotional denouement. | 剩下的就是感人的结局 |
| [1:32:34] | In order to get there, | 为了达成这一点 |
| [1:32:36] | maybe I’ll start a slow dissolve right about now. | 我现在应该渐渐淡出了 |
| [1:32:38] | 烟鬼鸡店 烤鸡三明治 | |
| [1:32:58] | So now what do we do? | 现在我们要做什么 |
| [1:33:00] | I wanted to talk to you about that. Yeah. | 我想跟你聊聊这个 |
| [1:33:04] | I’ve never had a kid before. | 我从没有过孩子 |
| [1:33:06] | It’s okay, I never had a dad before. | 没关系 我从没有过爸爸 |
| [1:33:09] | Yeah, but the thing is… | 嗯 问题是 |
| [1:33:11] | Is I don’t know if I’m ready to be somebody’s dad. | 我不知道我是否准备好当爸爸了 |
| [1:33:17] | Save it, old man. I… I get it. | 别说了 老头 我懂的 |
| [1:33:28] | Like I was saying, | 正如我说的 |
| [1:33:29] | I don’t know if I’m ready to be somebody’s dad, | 我不知道我是否准备好当爸爸了 |
| [1:33:31] | so I wanna practice. | 所以我想练习一下 |
| [1:33:34] | And so I figured, why not start off with a dream I always had | 所以我想着 何不从我一直以来的梦想开始呢 |
| [1:33:37] | of drinking coffee with my kid | 和我的孩子一起喝咖啡 |
| [1:33:39] | and teaching her stuff that she doesn’t already know. | 教她一些她不知道的事情 |
| [1:33:42] | Like dad stuff. | 比如爸爸的事情 |
| [1:33:45] | Okay? | 好吗 |
| [1:33:49] | Okay. I’ve hung out in front of this store almost my whole life. | 好了 我这辈子几乎都在这家店门口玩 |
| [1:33:52] | My advice, don’t do that. | 我的建议 别这么做 |
| [1:33:56] | Not for a while. | 至少别急着做 |
| [1:33:57] | First, find a best friend | 首先 找一个最好的朋友 |
| [1:33:59] | you can have a whole lot of adventures with. | 你们可以一起经历许多冒险 |
| [1:34:01] | But pick a good listener, | 不过要选善于倾听的人 |
| [1:34:03] | someone that always has your back | 这个人永远是你的后盾 |
| [1:34:05] | even when he’s standing right next to you. | 即使他就站在你身旁 |
| [1:34:30] | But don’t worry about fucking up in life, okay? | 别担心在生活中失败 好吗 |
| [1:34:32] | Silent Bob always says, “Failure is success training.” | 沉默鲍勃总是说 “失败是成功之母” |
| [1:34:36] | How come you aren’t the most successful man in the world? | 那你怎么不是世上最成功的人 |
| [1:34:39] | I am today. | 今天我就是 |
| [1:34:46] | All right, enough of that mushy stuff. | 好了 别说感伤的话了 |
| [1:34:48] | We have a whole lot of catching up to do, kiddo. | 我有好多事情要告诉你 孩子 |
| [1:34:51] | – Alright. You ready? – Let’s do it, Dad. | -准备好了吗 -开始吧 爸爸 |
| [1:34:54] | Okay. So, one time me and Silent Bob went to this mall, right? | 好 有一次我和沉默鲍勃去了一个商场 |
| [1:34:58] | And then, a couple of years later, | 然后几年之后 |
| [1:34:59] | we fought these renegade angels and met God herself. | 我们与一些叛徒天使战斗 并见到了上帝 |
| [1:35:03] | And even though me and Silent Bob saved the world, | 尽管我和沉默鲍勃拯救了世界 |
| [1:35:06] | all these Catholics got pissed off at us anyway. | 这些天主教徒还是对我们很生气 |
| [1:35:09] | Fuck them if they can’t take a joke. | 如果他们开不起玩笑 那就去他们的 |
| [1:35:13] | Snoogans. | 逗你玩 |
| [1:35:14] | Oh, my God, you’re learning, snooge. | 天啊 你学会了 逗你玩 |
| [1:35:17] | All right. Anyways, after all that angel stuff, | 总之 天使那事过后 |
| [1:35:20] | me and Silent Bob went to Hollywood. | 我和沉默鲍勃去了好莱坞 |
| [1:35:22] | That was the first time we went to Hollywood | 那是我们第一次去好莱坞 |
| [1:35:24] | where we met your mom and a monkey named Suzanne. | 在那里我们遇到了你妈妈和一只叫苏珊的猴子 |
| [1:35:27] | Yeah. She still sends us Christmas cards every year. | 对 她每年圣诞都给我们寄贺卡 |
| [1:35:31] | My mom? | 我妈妈 |
| [1:35:32] | No, the monkey. | 不 那只猴子 |
| [1:35:33] | And then the Quik Stop burned down, | 然后那个便利店烧毁了 |
| [1:35:35] | which is right around the time me and Silent Bob went to rehab. | 差不多那时候我和沉默鲍勃进了戒毒所 |
| [1:35:39] | Why’d you guys go to rehab? | 你们为什么要进戒毒所 |
| [1:37:23] | 当然还有… | |
| [1:37:24] | Holy shit, dude. | 我去 老兄 |
| [1:37:25] | She uses Jaws as a unit of measurement, just like us. | 她用《大白鲨》作为衡量单位 和我们一样 |
| [1:37:29] | Stars are similar to u… Jay and Silent Bob, aren’t they? | 明星们的确和我…杰伊和沉默鲍勃差不多 对吧 |
| [1:37:34] | I love watching the… The work, you go, | 我喜欢看你的反应 |
| [1:37:37] | “Fuck, I stranded myself. How do I not say ‘us, ‘ | 操 我把自己套进去了 我怎么才能不说”我们” |
| [1:37:40] | anything but ‘us, ‘ if I say ‘us’ they’ll kill me.” | 只要不说”我们”就行 说了会被他们干掉的 |
| [1:37:45] | It’s called Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, | 电影名叫《白烂贱客2》 |
| [1:37:45] | 缅怀我非凡的导师 | |
| [1:37:47] | and you’re a huge character… | 你是电影中的一个 |
| [1:37:49] | – Wonderful. – in the whole thing. | -太棒了 -重要角色 |
| [1:37:50] | – Great, I can’t wait. – So, we’re… | -太好了 我等不及了 -我们… |
| [1:37:51] | I’m… I’m put… Doing it here, | 我现在问你 |
| [1:37:52] | – so, you have to… – Right. | -这样你就不得不 -好的 |
| [1:37:53] | agree to do the movie. | 同意参演电影 |
| [1:37:55] | Can’t we do a little of it now and stop wasting time? | 我们能现在就拍一点 别浪费时间吗 |
| [1:37:57] | – Go to that place. – All right. Here we go. | -进入状态 -好 开始吧 |
| [1:37:59] | – Action. – Action. | -开拍 -开拍 |
| [1:38:00] | Fella… | 伙计 |
| [1:38:03] | You already broke character, Lee. | 这么快就出戏了 李 |
| [1:38:05] | What the hell? We’re burning film, man. | 搞什么 浪费胶片啊 |
| [1:38:08] | Fella. | 伙计 |
| [1:38:11] | How do I get to… | 我怎么去 |
| [1:38:13] | How do I get to Comic-Con? | 我怎么去漫展 |
| [1:38:15] | This is why I only cast you in one movie, | 这就是为什么我只让你参演了一部电影 |
| [1:38:17] | you can’t get through a line without laughing at me. | 你一句台词没说完就要冲我笑 |
| [1:38:20] | No, but we got to be serious… This is a serious thing. | 但是我们得严肃 这是很严肃的事 |
| [1:38:22] | Here we go. And take two. And action. | 开始吧 第二次拍摄 开拍 |
| [1:38:25] | Fella. How do I get to Comic-Con? | 伙计 我怎么去漫展 |
| [1:38:28] | – Well, then respond. – Silent Bob. | -回应我 -我是沉默鲍勃 |
| [1:38:32] | You don’t talk? | 你不说话 |
| [1:38:34] | That’s the smart thing. | 不说话才是明智的 |
| [1:38:35] | Get the hell out of my scene and get me Jay. | 滚出我的场景 把杰伊叫来 |
| [1:38:41] | How High is our Bible, man. | 《嗨到哈佛》是我们的圣经 |
| [1:38:42] | Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fucking lives | 我和沉默鲍勃的生活都是模仿 |
| [1:38:45] | after Silas and Jamal. | 赛拉斯和贾马尔 |
| [1:38:46] | I’m a smooth pimp who loves the pussy, | 我是个爱女人的圆滑皮条客 |
| [1:38:49] | and lean n mean here is my botanical BFF. | 这个狠角色是我的植物学好友 |
| [1:38:52] | What? Popcorn playa. | 怎么样 厉害吧 |
| [1:38:54] | This affidavit is from a Hollywood motion picture company. | 这份证词来自一家好莱坞电影公司 |
| [1:38:56] | Hollywood, Florida? | 佛州的好莱坞吗 |
| [1:38:58] | Hollywood, California. | 加州的好莱坞 |
| [1:39:00] | That one? | 那里啊 |
| [1:39:01] | Two tickets to Hollywood. | 两张去好莱坞的机票 |
| [1:39:03] | Hollywood, Florida? | 佛州的好莱坞吗 |
| [1:39:05] | No, Hollywood, California. | 不 加州的好莱坞 |
| [1:39:08] | Says here you’re supposed to go to Hollywood? | 你们是要去好莱坞吗 |
| [1:39:09] | You mean Hollywood, Florida? | 是指佛州的好莱坞吗 |
| [1:39:11] | No. Hollywood, California. | 不 加州的好莱坞 |
| [1:39:15] | Jay and Silent Bob, spent so much time on themselves | 杰伊和鲍勃花了那么多时间在自己身上 |
| [1:39:18] | that they should pay us rent. | 他们应该付我们租金 |
| [1:39:21] | I knew I’d get you. | 我就知道能逗你笑 |
| [1:39:22] | Why are you prosecuting? You should be a stand-up. | 你为什么要做检察官 你应该做单口相声演员 |
| [1:39:24] | I have a show this weekend. | 我这周末就有演出 |
| [1:39:26] | – I’ll definitely come out. – Okay, great. I’m gonna… | -我绝对要去 -好 我… |
| [1:39:27] | – I’ll text you later. – Can I object? | -我之后给你发信息 -我能抗议吗 |
| [1:39:30] | My daughter, Banner, she’s fighting with Renee | 我女儿班纳 她在和蕾妮吵架 |
| [1:39:32] | and keeps sending the most delicious texts. | 不停地发带劲的信息 |
| [1:39:35] | Listen. “Dear Sega Boy.” Snoogans. | 听这个 “亲爱的世嘉男孩” 逗你玩 |
| [1:39:38] | “How am I supposed to grow as a woman | “妈妈总是站在我的老二上 |
| [1:39:39] | when Mom is always standing on my fucking dick?” | 我作为女人 要如何成长呢” |
| [1:39:42] | – Wait, your daughter has a dick? – No. | -等等 你女儿有老二 -不是 |
| [1:39:45] | But she sure can be one to her mom and I love it. | 但她妈妈可以这么认为 我很喜欢 |
| [1:39:47] | You see, kids, teenagers are like The Incredible Hulk. | 是这样 青少年就像是《无敌浩克》 |
| [1:39:50] | Normal one minute, a rage of emotions the next. | 前一分钟还正常 后一分钟就情绪爆发 |
| [1:39:54] | You’ll see one day when one of you guys has a kid. | 等你们有孩子了就懂了 |
| [1:39:56] | Probably the quiet one. | 大概是沉默鲍勃有孩子 |
| [1:39:58] | Shit. No female swipes right on Groot here. | 靠 才没有女人跟这个格鲁特亲热呢 |
| [1:40:01] | And I was always so worried that I would get a female pregnant. | 而我总是担心我会让女人怀孕 |
| [1:40:04] | When I did have sex, I’d pull out, | 所以每次做爱 我都会拔出来 |
| [1:40:06] | run to the other side of the room, | 跑到房间的另一端 |
| [1:40:08] | and I bust a nut in my jacket pocket, | 然后射到自己的外套口袋里 |
| [1:40:10] | just to be safe. | 保险起见 |
| [1:40:11] | How High is the greatest movie ever made. | 《嗨到哈佛》是史上最伟大的电影 |
| [1:40:14] | Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fucking lives after it. | 我和沉默鲍勃的生活都是模仿它 |
| [1:40:18] | Okay, wait a minute. Are we… | 等一下 我们说的 |
| [1:40:19] | Are we talking about the same How High here? The movie? | 我们说的是同一个《嗨到哈佛》吗 那部电影 |
| [1:40:22] | The one we’re in? | 我们参演的那部 |
| [1:40:24] | Yeah, the one we was in, goddammit. | 对 我们参演的那部 |
| [1:40:25] | See? I told your black ass | 看吧 我早就说了 |
| [1:40:28] | that How High would age like a fine Chablis. | 《嗨到哈佛》会像上好的白葡萄酒一样陈酿 |
| [1:40:31] | I’m not a pedophile. | 我不是恋童癖 |
| [1:40:33] | I’m here on the behalf of a man you might know, | 我是代表一个你可能认识的人来的 |
| [1:40:36] | Mr. J-E-S-E-S, Jesus. | 耶 稣 耶稣先生 |
| [1:40:39] | I’m a Christian vigilante, they call me the Holy Roller. | 我是基督教义警 他们叫我圣教徒 |
| [1:40:44] | Super cool. | 太酷了 |
| [1:40:46] | This guy’s a fucking idiot. | 这家伙是个蠢货 |
| [1:40:47] | Who’s been our ally this entire trip. | 但他整个旅途中都在支持我们 |
| [1:40:50] | Especially when he saved our lives. | 特别是他救了我们命 |
| [1:40:53] | This conversation really does not | 这场对话完全没有 |
| [1:40:55] | pass the Bechdel Test right now. | 通过性别歧视测试 |
| [1:40:57] | Holy shit, dude, it’s them. They’re here. | 我去 老兄 是他们 他们来了 |
| [1:41:00] | Jersey represent. | 泽西代表 |
| [1:41:02] | Wait, you don’t recognize us? | 等等 你不认识我们吗 |
| [1:41:04] | You almost beat me up when I was a kid, | 我小时候你差点揍我 |
| [1:41:07] | because I said an unkind word about Morris Day. | 就因为我说了莫里斯·戴的坏话 |
| [1:41:11] | That’s you guys? | 那是你们吗 |
| [1:41:13] | What, do you guys work here or something? | 你们是在这里工作吗 |
| [1:41:15] | Dude, we’re the Kush Boys. | 老兄 叶子兄弟是我们开的 |
| [1:41:17] | Dude, like, you own all this stuff. | 老兄 这些东西都是你们的 |
| [1:41:19] | Yeah, we took a page out of your book. | 是啊 我们从你们身上学到了经验 |
| [1:41:21] | We stopped buying weed, | 我们不再买大麻 |
| [1:41:23] | started selling that shit instead. | 而是开始卖大麻 |
| [1:41:25] | Thanks to you guys, | 多亏了你们 |
| [1:41:26] | we are financially thriving in the cannabis space. | 我们在大麻产业赚得盆满钵溢 |
| [1:41:29] | We’re weed millionaires. | 我们是大麻百万富翁 |
| [1:41:31] | So that means we get some free weed? | 那我们是不是能拿免费大麻了 |
| [1:41:33] | Fuck, no. No, that will be 200 bucks. | 当然不行 得付两百块 |
| [1:41:36] | Dude, I’ve always wanted to do this. | 老兄 我一直都想这么说 |
| [1:41:38] | “Two hundred bucks, little man.” | “两百块 小伙计” |
| [1:41:40] | “Put that shit in our hands.” | “把钱交给我们” |
| [1:41:43] | Fair enough. | 成吧 |
| [1:41:46] | Dude, there is more lens flare | 老兄 这里的眩光 |
| [1:41:48] | than a J.J. Abrams movie in here. | 比J·J·艾布拉姆斯的电影里还多 |
| [1:41:51] | I hate all of these fuckers. | 我讨厌这些混蛋 |
| [1:41:56] | Can my friends and I cut the line? | 我和我的朋友们能插个队吗 |
| [1:41:58] | – Fuck no. – Yeah, what she said. | -当然不行 -没错 |
| [1:42:02] | Happy Chronic-Con. | 观展快乐 |
| [1:42:04] | How’s The Walking Dead gonna end? | 《行尸走肉》的结局是什么 |
| [1:42:06] | 罗伯特·柯克曼 [原作漫画作者] | |
| [1:42:06] | Carol actually eats Daryl? | 卡罗尔把达里尔吃了 |
| [1:42:09] | Fuck. No… Carol turns into a walker? | 不要啊 卡罗尔变成行尸了 |
| [1:42:13] | No. She just eats Daryl. | 不 她只是吃了达里尔 |
| [1:42:16] | Fuck. Spoilers, I’m really sorry about that one. | 操 剧透警告 真的很抱歉 |
| [1:42:20] | Fuck! What the fuck was that for? | 操 这他妈是干什么 |
| [1:42:22] | That’s for killing Glenn and Carl! | 这是为格伦和卡尔报仇 |
| [1:42:25] | Fuck. Fair enough. | 操 成吧 |
| [1:42:26] | This reboot is doomed, man. | 这个重制版没救了 |
| [1:42:29] | Maybe it would’ve had a chance | 要是他们能找来 |
| [1:42:29] | if they got Kevin Smith from the ’90s, | 90年代的凯文·史密斯 也许还有希望 |
| [1:42:31] | back when he had the juice to get Affleck in his movies. | 那时候他还有本事请到本·阿弗莱克 |
| [1:42:34] | Wait. Didn’t he make that Jersey Girl movie? | 等等 他不是演了那部《泽西女孩》吗 |
| [1:42:37] | Yeah, I wasn’t a fan, | 是啊 我不喜欢 |
| [1:42:38] | but Affleck was the bomb as Batman, yo. | 不过阿弗莱克像蝙蝠侠一样帅 |
| [1:42:41] | Word, bitch! Bat-fleck like a motherfucker! | 说得好 阿弗莱克像蝙蝠侠一样帅 |
| [1:42:45] | What’s up now? | 怎么样 |
| [1:42:46] | 名人全息信息台 | |
| [1:42:50] | Hello again. Still just a hologram, same rules apply. | 又见面了 还是全息影像 规则相同 |
| [1:42:53] | Don’t fucking touch me. | 别他妈碰我 |
| [1:42:54] | Now, if you’re looking for the Bluntman v Chronic shoot, | 如果你想找《直率人对慢性人》拍摄现场 |
| [1:42:56] | go left. | 走左边 |
| [1:42:57] | But if you’re looking for, I don’t know, | 但如果你想找 我也说不好 |
| [1:42:59] | some version of completing your character arc | 比如说完成你的角色弧线 |
| [1:43:01] | and becoming the superdad | 成为你女儿 |
| [1:43:02] | that your daughter never really knew she had, go right. | 从来不知道自己拥有的超级爸爸 走右边 |
| [1:43:05] | If I was in this movie, I know which way I’d go. | 如果我参演这部电影 我知道该往哪边走 |
| [1:43:09] | Straight out the door. | 直接走出大门 |
| [1:43:09] | Let’s be honest, I wouldn’t be in this movie, | 老实说 我不会参演这部电影 |
| [1:43:11] | I’d never be in this fucking movie. | 我绝不会参演这破电影 |
| [1:43:12] | I got, like, 37 franchises | 我有差不多37个系列片 |
| [1:43:14] | and honestly, I don’t really need another one. | 说实话 不需要更多的了 |
| [1:43:16] | Anyway, dishes are done, man. | 总之 盘子搞完了 老兄 |
| [1:43:18] | Here we go, bye-bye. Peace. | 就这样 拜拜 再见 |
| [1:43:21] | Where do you think you’re going? | 你们想去哪儿 |
| [1:43:24] | Yo, we got badges now. | 我们搞到通行证了 |
| [1:43:25] | “We have badges.” Stop butchering the English language. | “我们有通行证” 别再糟蹋英语了 |
| [1:43:28] | And I don’t care. You’re getting the bum’s rush. | 而且我不在乎 你们要被赶出去了 |
| [1:43:31] | Wait. Are you a chocolate fan? | 等等 你喜欢巧克力吗 |
| [1:43:33] | Not that it’ll change your fortunes one iota, | 就算我喜欢也不能改变你们的命运 |
| [1:43:36] | but since I’m not a Nazi robot, | 但既然我不是纳粹机器人 |
| [1:43:39] | yes, I like chocolate. | 是的 我喜欢巧克力 |
| [1:43:40] | Well, this is the best chocolate in the whole wide world. | 那好 这是全世界最棒的巧克力 |
| [1:43:45] | Bullshit. | 扯淡 |
| [1:43:48] | Give me that. | 快给我 |
| [1:43:52] | Punch, edible’s… | 尝尝食用大麻… |
| [1:43:55] | Holy fucking shit. | 我的老天 |
| [1:43:56] | Where did these people come from? | 这些人是从哪来的 |
| [1:43:58] | Hey kids! What the fuck is going on here? | 大家好 到底怎么回事 |
| [1:44:00] | They’re the contest winners. | 他们是比赛的获胜者 |
| [1:44:01] | Their prize is a walk-on in the movie. | 他们的奖品就是当这部电影的临时演员 |
| [1:44:03] | – This movie? – Yeah. | -这部电影 -对 |
| [1:44:05] | They should have held out for a way better movie, | 他们应该提出换一部更好的电影的 |
| [1:44:07] | – am I right? – I totally agree. | -我说的对吧 -我完全同意 |
| [1:44:08] | Man, fuck you. | 去你的吧 |
| [1:44:09] | Hey, kids! Man, I’m gonna find a way to get you all | 大家好 我会想办法给你们所有人 |
| [1:44:13] | into an uncuttable cameo in the movie, man. | 都安排一个不会被剪掉的客串角色 |
| [1:44:16] | All right. Emily, fuck off! | 行了 艾米莉 滚开 |
| [1:44:17] | We’re trying to take a picture. | 我们正要拍合照 |
| [1:44:18] | All right, kids. | 好了 |
| [1:44:19] | All smiles, big, wide eyes. Here we go. | 摆上笑脸 睁大眼睛 开始了 |
| [1:44:27] | Excuse me. Kid! | 借过 小鬼 |
| [1:44:29] | You ruined my fucking movie career, you know that? | 你毁了我的电影事业 你知道吗 |
| [1:44:32] | I’ve seen your flicks, Smitticles. | 我看过你的片子 史密蛋 |
| [1:44:34] | You killed your own movie career. | 是你自己毁了你的电影事业 |
| [1:44:36] | Oh, my God, you little monster. Who raised you? | 天啊 你这个小魔鬼 谁把你养大的 |
| [1:44:44] | I’m so done with Kevin Smith. | 我受够了凯文·史密斯 |
| [1:44:49] | Fuck. | 妈的 |
| [1:44:51] | You see that guy over there? | 看见那边那家伙了吗 |
| [1:44:53] | For 25 years, we’ve been coming here every night | 25年来 我们每天晚上都过来 |
| [1:44:55] | and putting gum in the locks. | 用口香糖塞锁眼 |