时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | Last check, girl. | 最后一单啦 姐妹 |
[00:03] | And my boyfriend Bobby will be here soon. | 然后我男朋友鲍比就要到啦 |
[00:06] | He’s sleeping over again. | 他今晚又要来过夜 |
[00:07] | My boyfriend, Bobby, I mean. | 我男朋友 那个鲍比 |
[00:09] | You know that cute guy Bobby, my boyfriend? | 你知道那个帅哥鲍比 也就是我男朋友吧 |
[00:12] | Oh, I know your boyfriend Bobby. | 我当然知道你男朋友鲍比啦 |
[00:15] | You name-drop him like you’re Gayle and he’s Oprah. | 你提他的频率 就像奥普拉提自己好闺蜜一样 |
[00:19] | Why don’t you ever stay at Bobby’s? | 为什么你从来都不去鲍比家过夜啊 |
[00:21] | His place can’t be worse than ours. | 他家再差也不能烂过我们家 |
[00:23] | Unless he’s what’s living in our wall. | 除非他住在我们家墙里 |
[00:25] | No, that’s definitely a woman sobbing in there. | 不会的 在墙里哭的绝对是个女人 |
[00:28] | And I can’t stay at Bobby’s | 而且我不能去鲍比家过夜 |
[00:30] | ’cause he lives at home with his family. | 是因为他跟家人住在一起 |
[00:32] | I didn’t know Bobby lived at home. | 我都不知道他还跟家人同住呢 |
[00:33] | Wish I could move back home. | 真希望我还能搬回我家 |
[00:35] | They don’t make Pontiacs anymore. | 可当年住的庞蒂克车已经停产了 |
[00:38] | The famous Bobby lives at home? | 名闻遐迩的鲍比还跟家人住吗 |
[00:41] | Sounds like you landed a real winner. | 感觉你这次钓到”金龟婿”了呢 |
[00:43] | Actually, Han, Bobby only moved back home | 阿憨 其实鲍比会搬回家 |
[00:46] | because his dad died last year. | 是因为他父亲去年过世了 |
[00:48] | H-E-double hockey sticks! | 妈了个蛋 |
[00:52] | The one guy I take a shot at, ever, | 我这辈子唯一一次吐槽别人 |
[00:54] | and he’s the freakin’ Orphan Annie! | 这家伙居然是孤女安妮 |
[01:09] | Hey, I’m Bobby. | 你好 我是鲍比 |
[01:10] | I’m looking for my girlfriend Caroline. | 我来找我女朋友卡洛琳 |
[01:12] | You know that cute girl, Caroline? | 就是那个萌妹 卡洛琳 |
[01:14] | My girlfriend. | 我女朋友 |
[01:16] | Bobby. Now, where have I heard that name before? | 你叫鲍比 我是在哪听过你名字呢 |
[01:21] | Bobby, my boyfriend, stop. | 鲍比 我男朋友 别闹了 |
[01:25] | Hey, before I forget. | 趁我还没忘 |
[01:26] | My mom is throwing a party tomorrow– | 我妈明天要举办一个派对 |
[01:28] | Are you crazy? | 你疯啦 |
[01:32] | Bobby, never discuss a party in the diner. | 鲍比 永远不准在餐厅提起派对 |
[01:36] | If the people we work with, | 跟我们一起工作的这帮人 |
[01:38] | and I’m using “people” in the loosest sense possible– | 超超级给脸他们才勉强能称得上”人” |
[01:42] | if they hear about a party, they’ll come to it! | 如果这帮东西听到有派对 绝对会不请自来 |
[01:48] | We had to learn Navajo | 我俩学了某印第安部落语 |
[01:51] | just so we could talk about our weekend plans | 只为了能讨论周末要干嘛 |
[01:53] | without them overhearing. | 而不用担心他们会听到 |
[01:54] | And then they learned Navajo. | 然后他们也学了那语言 |
[01:58] | Now it makes sense that Earl asked me for wampum yesterday. | 难怪昨天厄尔跟我要印第安贝壳串币 |
[02:02] | Okay, so my mom is throwing this party at our house tomorrow. | 我妈明天要在我们家举办派对 |
[02:06] | You want to meet my family? | 你想来见见我家人吗 |
[02:07] | I’d love to meet them! | 我非常乐意跟他们见面 |
[02:11] | Especially your mom. | 尤其是你母亲 |
[02:12] | It goes without saying, but she’s gonna love me. | 不用说都知道 她绝对会爱死我 |
[02:16] | Why? Does she love people who spit a little when they talk? | 为啥 她喜欢说话时会喷口水的人吗 |
[02:20] | I don’t spit when I talk. | 我说话才没有喷口水 |
[02:21] | Nope, I saw it that time. | 还真有 这次我看到唾沫星子了 |
[02:24] | But that’s okay. | 不过没关系啦 |
[02:25] | Moms love me almost as much | 妈妈辈的人爱我的程度 |
[02:26] | as truckers love Max. | 跟卡车司机爱麦克斯有得一拼 |
[02:29] | You model for one mud flap, you’re made for life. | 当一次挡泥板女郎 你就是司机一辈子女神 |
[02:32] | You’re coming too, right, Max? | 你也会一起来对吧 麦克斯 |
[02:34] | My whole family’s gonna be there. | 我全家人都会在 |
[02:35] | Caroline’s whole family should be there, too. | 卡洛琳的全家人也都应该在场 |
[02:37] | Aww, that’s so sweet. | 你这话真感人 |
[02:40] | Sounds good. | 听起来不错 |
[02:42] | What time should I bring the sacrificial raccoon? | 所以我大概几点带着献祭用浣熊入场 |
[02:46] | Oh, is it not a birthday? | 所以不是生日派对吗 |
[02:50] | You could hear from back there? | 你能从那后面听到我们在聊什么吗 |
[02:52] | And through the wall in my office. | 几道墙外的我办公室也能听到 |
[02:55] | Can’t wait for the party. | 等不及去派对啦 |
[02:58] | Can I bring a Jell-O dessert? | 我能带自制的果冻甜点吗 |
[02:59] | I have a new Pikachu mold I’ve been dying to try out. | 我有个新的皮卡丘模具我超想用看看 |
[03:02] | Is it the same Pikachu mold that you came out of? | 是把你做出来的同个皮卡丘模具吗 |
[03:06] | Ah, so, about this party we’re all invited to, | 所以我们全都被邀请去的这派对 |
[03:10] | is it open bar, | 是酒水无限畅饮 |
[03:11] | or do we have to go through the cabinets again? | 还是我们又得自己去扫荡酒柜 |
[03:16] | So what kind of perfume does your mom wear? | 所以你妈都喷哪种香水 |
[03:19] | I need to know for when I tell her I’ve always loved it | 我得先知道 这样才能说我一直超爱那款 |
[03:21] | and can’t believe she wears it too. | 真没想到我们喷同一款 |
[03:24] | I don’t know, but please don’t wear it | 我不知道 但如果你这辈子 |
[03:25] | if you ever want to have sex with me again. | 还想跟我滚床单 就请别喷那款 |
[03:29] | Oh, uh, one more thing. | 还有一件事 |
[03:31] | Don’t tell her that I spent the night here. | 千万别告诉她我在这过夜了 |
[03:33] | She thinks I stayed at my friend Brian’s. | 她以为我是在我朋友布莱恩家睡 |
[03:35] | She’s kind of old-fashioned. | 她这人比较传统一点 |
[03:37] | Can’t be that old-fashioned. | 也没你想象中那么传统 |
[03:38] | She’s cool with you sleeping with your friend Brian. | 她对你跟男性朋友布莱恩同睡都没意见了 |
[03:41] | All right, I’ll see you later. | 好啦 晚点见 |
[03:42] | I got to go help my mom set up for the party. | 我得去帮忙我妈布置一下派对 |
[03:44] | Uh, if I’m coming off as too much of a bad boy, | 如果我给你的感觉像是坏男人 |
[03:47] | I can tone it down. | 我可以收敛一点 |
[03:55] | I’ll be sure to do cheek kisses at your house. | 我会记得在你家时亲脸颊的 |
[04:03] | So! | 所以呢 |
[04:06] | Is there gonna be weed at this party, | 这派对会有大麻提供吗 |
[04:08] | or can I make some money selling? | 还是我可以在那里卖大麻挣钱 |
[04:10] | Max, it is really important to me that Bobby’s mom likes me, | 麦克斯 让鲍比的母亲喜欢我真的很重要 |
[04:12] | which is why I hid your weed | 所以我把你大麻藏了起来 |
[04:15] | and bought her a lovely gift to bring. | 然后买了个好礼物带去送她 |
[04:18] | In lieu of gifts, I always just wear a low-cut shirt. | 我一直都是穿低胸衣服来代替送礼物 |
[04:22] | But I see why you had to buy something. | 但我看得出你为什么得买一份礼物 |
[04:25] | Look. Macaron. | 看 马卡龙 |
[04:29] | Uh, you’re maca-wrong, | 你马卡”聋”了吧 |
[04:32] | ’cause those are macaroons. | 因为那些已经是马卡隆[蛋白杏仁饼]了 |
[04:34] | And I think I maca-ruined them | 因为在我把它们的 |
[04:35] | when I ate the filling out of ’em. | 馅都吃掉时 就”他马的”毁了它们 |
[04:39] | Wait, you’re going to Bobby’s mom’s party dressed like that? | 等等 你要穿成那德行去鲍比母亲的派对吗 |
[04:45] | Are you aware your husband is dressed for a canoe trip? | 那你清楚你老公穿着清凉到像要去划船旅吗 |
[04:50] | I Google Earth-ed the house. | 我用谷歌地球查过他家 |
[04:51] | There’s a pool at the house next door. | 他家隔壁邻居家里有泳池 |
[04:54] | And a short fence. | 而且围墙很低 |
[04:57] | Actually, the party was canceled. | 其实派对取消了 |
[04:59] | I’m so sorry. | 我也很遗憾 |
[05:01] | You’ll have to meet Bobby’s family sometime never on. | 你们可能要到下辈子才能够见鲍比的家人了 |
[05:05] | Yep, party canceled. | 是的 派对取消了 |
[05:07] | There was a sinkhole. | 他家出现了个大沉洞 |
[05:08] | Uh, still haven’t found the house. | 整个房子陷进去都找不到了 |
[05:10] | Everyone’s dead. | 所有人死光了 |
[05:11] | That’s horrible. | 这也太惨了吧 |
[05:14] | I pre-paid a sitter. | 我都预付了保姆薪水呢 |
[05:17] | Oh, I guess we’ll just hang out here then. | 那我们就在你们家玩吧 |
[05:20] | And since there’s no pool– | 既然这里没有泳池游泳… |
[05:21] | Ahh! Okay! Okay, fine! | 好了好了 我服了你 |
[05:23] | The party’s not canceled. There’s no sinkhole. | 派对没有取消 也没有沉洞 |
[05:25] | No one’s dead. Come at 4:00. | 没人死 四点来吧 |
[05:27] | Just please don’t embarrass me. | 只求你们别丢我的脸 |
[05:30] | Uh, I think that was directed at you, Max. | 麦克斯 她那句话好像是对你说 |
[05:35] | Awkward. | 尴尬啦 |
[05:45] | We’re here early, ’cause moms love promptness, | 我们提早到啦 因为妈妈辈的都喜欢人准时 |
[05:47] | and our Uber driver was on the front end of a police chase. | 而且我们的优步司机正好在被警察追 |
[05:51] | You’re gonna nail it. My mom’s favorite show’s “Cops.” | 那你妥当了 我妈最爱的真人秀就是《执法先锋》 |
[05:54] | Oh, I’m a series regular. | 我是那节目的常驻犯人 |
[05:57] | Oh, nice staircase. | 这楼梯不错啊 |
[05:59] | You get along with the folks that live up there? | 你跟楼上的住客处得好吗 |
[06:01] | Uh, sometimes. | 看情况 |
[06:03] | Depends how my sisters are feeling, | 看我姐姐们的心情吧 |
[06:05] | ’cause that is still part of the house. | 因为楼上也是我家的 |
[06:11] | You didn’t tell us you lived in a castle. | 你没跟我们说你住在城堡里啊 |
[06:15] | Look at the TV and chairs! | 看看这电视还有椅子 |
[06:17] | You guys must’ve gotten this stuff | 这家具状况绝对是 |
[06:18] | right after they laid it out on the curb. | 人家刚丢在前院你们就捡回家了的 |
[06:21] | Bobby, I found the program from your sixth grade play. | 鲍比 我找到你六年级时话剧的节目单 |
[06:25] | You were so good. | 你当年表演得太棒了 |
[06:26] | Like Leonardo DiCaprio. | 跟莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥差不多 |
[06:28] | Only not bloated. | 不过你没发福 |
[06:31] | Ma, I played a tree, and I still got booed. | 妈 我演了一棵树 而且这样都被人嘘了 |
[06:34] | Sorry, she likes to brag about me. | 抱歉 她就喜欢吹嘘我 |
[06:36] | This is my mom. | 这位是我母亲 |
[06:37] | Hi, Bobby’s mom. I’m Max. | 鲍比妈妈你好 我叫麦克斯 |
[06:38] | May I say you have a beautiful house? | 请容我夸一下您这美轮美奂的房子 |
[06:41] | And that’s high praise, ’cause I’ve been in five. | 这可是高度赞扬 因为我住过五间房子 |
[06:45] | And I’m Caroline. | 我是卡洛琳 |
[06:46] | Oh, that scent you’re wearing is my all-time favorite. | 您身上的香味是我这辈子最爱的香味 |
[06:49] | I sat on a deviled egg. | 我坐到一颗黄芥末蛋上了 |
[06:53] | I hope you like macaron. | 希望您喜欢吃马卡龙 |
[06:56] | You don’t think I have enough food? | 你觉得我还吃得不够吗 |
[07:01] | I know this sounds insane, | 这话可能听起来像神经病 |
[07:04] | but I don’t know if she love-love-loved me. | 但我不确定她有没有宇宙无敌第一爱我呢 |
[07:08] | Don’t worry–she takes a little time to warm up, | 别担心 她这个人有点慢热 |
[07:10] | but when she does, | 等她热起来了 |
[07:11] | you’ll only notice a little difference. | 你也只会发现有一点点小差异 |
[07:14] | Uh, Bobby–question. | 鲍比 我有个问题 |
[07:17] | How did you get Queen Elizabeth to sell you her throne? | 你是怎么让英国女皇卖给你她的王座的啊 |
[07:24] | Bobby, you only invited girls? | 鲍比 你只邀请了女生吗 |
[07:26] | You knew I wanted a sausage-fest. | 你明知道我喜欢狼多女少的派对 |
[07:30] | I did bring macaron. | 我带了马卡龙来呢 |
[07:32] | You must be Bobby’s sister, Denise. | 你一定是鲍比的姐姐丹妮斯吧 |
[07:34] | I’m Caroline. | 我叫卡洛琳 |
[07:35] | I’m Max, and I should have worn a diaper here. | 我是麦克斯 我应该穿着尿布来的 |
[07:39] | Seriously, Bobby, if you never invite any guys over, | 我说真的 鲍比 如果你都不邀请男生来 |
[07:43] | how am I gonna find one? | 我去哪泡到男人啊 |
[07:44] | Ma cancelled my Match.Com account. | 妈把我相亲网站账号取消了 |
[07:46] | I’m not paying $9.99 a month | 我才不要帮你付一个月9块99 |
[07:48] | for you to be a slut! | 好让你上网当个婊子 |
[07:50] | Ma! Stay out of my business! | 妈 少管我闲事 |
[07:53] | You treat me like I’m still in my 30s! | 你总把我当30多岁那会儿对待 |
[07:56] | Well, if there aren’t gonna be any guys here, | 如果没有男人会来 |
[07:59] | I’m gonna go smoke a J and do my jigsaw. | 那我要去呼个麻 拼拼图去了 |
[08:03] | Definitely popping by Denise’s room later. | 等会绝对会去丹妮斯房里坐坐 |
[08:06] | Bobby, I can’t explain it, | 鲍比 我也不知道为什么 |
[08:08] | but somehow, when you stock the Tab in the garage fridge, | 但是你把汽水冰到车库里的冰箱后 |
[08:11] | it just tastes better. | 味道喝起来就是赞 |
[08:13] | Garage fridge? | 车库冰箱 |
[08:14] | How rich are you people? | 你们是有多富啊 |
[08:16] | You know who loved an ice-cold Tab? | 你知道谁会想喝冰汽水吗 |
[08:19] | Jessica. | 杰西卡 |
[08:20] | Ma! Really? | 妈 你不是吧 |
[08:21] | I specifically asked you not to bring up Jessica. | 我特别交代过你别提起杰西卡 |
[08:27] | Who’s Jessica? | 谁是杰西卡啊 |
[08:28] | She’s my ex. | 她是我前任 |
[08:29] | We stopped dating over a year ago. | 我们一年前就停止交往了 |
[08:31] | Dating? | 什么交往 |
[08:32] | You were engaged to be engaged! | 你们当年可是订了要订婚 |
[08:34] | I’m sitting, but I’m lying down. | 我坐着 却犹如躺着 |
[08:42] | She was the only girl I ever thought | 她是我唯一觉得 |
[08:44] | was good enough for my Bobby. | 配得上我鲍比的女生 |
[08:46] | No offense, hon, but look at her. | 无意冒犯 亲 但你看她 |
[08:48] | With that face, she could’ve been a dental hygienist. | 那个脸蛋 她完全有可能当一名牙科保健员 |
[08:51] | She’s on your wall? | 她能荣登你家墙壁吗 |
[08:53] | Only to cover a hole that Denise punched in it… | 单纯是为了要挡住丹妮斯 |
[08:56] | when I broke up with Jessica. | 在我跟杰西卡分手时捶的洞 |
[08:58] | Did someone say Jessica? | 有人提起了杰西卡吗 |
[09:01] | Who is that? | 那是谁 |
[09:02] | And please don’t say Jessica. | 拜托别说是杰西卡 |
[09:04] | That–that’s my other sister, Chrissy. | 是我另一个姐姐克丽斯 |
[09:06] | She doesn’t come out of her room these days. | 她现在不太出她房门 |
[09:08] | – She’s still in mourning. – Oh, over your dad? | -她还在哀悼期 -哀悼你父亲吗 |
[09:10] | Over Jessica. | 是杰西卡 |
[09:12] | She hasn’t come out of her room since they broke up. | 打从他俩分手后 她就不怎么出房间了 |
[09:14] | And she was this close to assistant manager at TCBY. | 她当时差点就要升职冻酸奶店副经理了呢 |
[09:21] | I’m over Jessica. My family less so. | 我已忘了杰西卡 但我家人还没 |
[09:27] | Oh, my God! | 我的老天爷 |
[09:30] | This chair has another chair just for your feet! | 这椅子居然还有另一张给脚坐的椅子 |
[09:38] | Bobby, why didn’t you tell me about Jessica? | 鲍比 你为什么没告诉我杰西卡的事 |
[09:41] | I told you about my father being in prison. | 我都跟你说过我爸坐牢的事了 |
[09:44] | No, you didn’t. | 没 你没说过啊 |
[09:46] | My father’s in prison. | 我老爸在坐牢 |
[09:49] | Jessica’s not important to me. | 杰西卡对我无足轻重 |
[09:51] | I think about her so little, she might as well be AOL. | 我基本就不会想到他 她就像美国在线即时通 |
[09:54] | I’m on AOL. | 我还在用呢 |
[09:56] | Oh, my God, we know nothing about each other. | 天啊 我们对彼此简直一无所知 |
[09:59] | Bobby, did you stock the kitchen fridge, too? | 鲍比 厨房冰箱也是你在负责采买的吗 |
[10:02] | ‘Cause I’m getting that crisp, clean, bottle taste | 里面的瓶装饮料 居然有玻璃瓶装 |
[10:04] | from a can here. | 那种干净清澈口感 |
[10:05] | I took my shoes off. Hope that’s okay. | 我脱了鞋 希望你们不介意 |
[10:08] | Bobby, stop standing there staring at Jessica. | 鲍比 别站在那里盯着杰西卡了 |
[10:11] | Give someone else a turn. | 也让别人有机会欣赏嘛 |
[10:13] | I’m doing a load. | 我要洗衣服 |
[10:14] | Go up to your room and get your dirties. | 回你房间去把你脏衣服拿下来 |
[10:18] | I–I have to give ’em to her. | 我必须得去拿给她了 |
[10:19] | Otherwise she’s gonna go through my stuff, | 不然她会一件件翻我的东西 |
[10:20] | and I have a check from my grandpa | 我有一张我爷爷给我的支票 |
[10:22] | I don’t want her to know about. | 我可不想被她发现 |
[10:25] | Chrissy! I’m doing a wash! | 克丽斯 我要洗衣服啦 |
[10:30] | And fold everything in threes this time, Ma! | 妈 这次衣服用左右折再对折的折法好吗 |
[10:33] | The way Jessica used to! | 就是要杰西卡以前那种折法 |
[10:35] | I’ll try, but I’m not perfect. | 我再试试 但我又不是完美的神 |
[10:38] | That was Jessica’s thing. | 那是杰西卡的招牌 |
[10:40] | Got that right, Ma! | 这话没错 妈 |
[10:41] | The woman was without flaws! | 那个女人简直完美无瑕 |
[10:47] | You might want to wash that alone. | 这件你可能需要单独洗 |
[10:49] | Believe it or not, it’s a white. | 不管你信不信 它其实是白色的 |
[10:52] | Max, what are you doing? | 麦克斯 你是在干嘛 |
[10:53] | Relax, I have the other one on. | 别担心 我另一罩还穿着呢 |
[10:54] | No one’s gonna get hurt. | 没人会因此受到伤害 |
[10:56] | I just need to stay calm | 我得保持冷静 |
[10:58] | and figure out a way to win Bobby’s mother over. | 想出办法来赢取鲍比妈妈欢心 |
[11:00] | I have to! I have to! | 我必须行 我必须行 |
[11:02] | You trying to get some of that sweet, sweet | 你在想办法搞到那美滋滋 |
[11:04] | grandpa-check money? | 爽歪歪的爷爷支票钱吗 |
[11:06] | Somebody get the frickin’ door! | 他妈的门咋没人去开啊 |
[11:09] | Uh, I’ll get the frickin’ door. | 我这就去开他妈的门 |
[11:11] | No, no, no, no, no. | 别别别别别 |
[11:12] | I have to win these people over. | 我得想办法博取他们的好感 |
[11:14] | I freaking got it, Chrissy. | 他妈的交给我来开 克丽斯 |
[11:21] | Oh, great. This should help. | 棒呆了 绝对帮我”加分” |
[11:30] | Earl’s got five more minutes in that chair. | 厄尔还有五分钟坐这椅子的时间 |
[11:31] | I’ll bounce an old man. | 老人我也是说揍就揍 |
[11:34] | Whose turn is it to see if he’s breathing? | 轮到谁去检查他还有没有呼吸 |
[11:38] | Oh, no, he’s okay. | 没死 他还活着 |
[11:39] | He’s just having a running dream. | 他只是梦到自己在跑步 |
[11:42] | You’ll get that squirrel, buddy. | 你会抓到那只松鼠的 朋友 |
[11:44] | Well, clock’s ticking. | 他没多少椅子时间了 |
[11:47] | Look, elephant in the room, | 瞧 居然没人提这台电视 |
[11:48] | but I got to see what porno looks like on that screen. | 我必须得看看在这电视看黄片是啥感觉 |
[11:52] | Oh, yeah, look. | 就是 瞧 |
[11:53] | I brought “Manchester by the Double D’s.” | 我带了《双峰边的曼彻斯特》 |
[11:57] | You see why we had to learn Navajo? | 你现在明白我们为什么要学印第安语了吧 |
[11:59] | It’s all fine. My mother loves having company. | 没关系啦 我妈妈喜欢家里人多 |
[12:02] | Oh, not kidding; they’re really going to watch it | 他们不是说笑 而是真的要看啊 |
[12:05] | It doesn’t fit. | 塞不进去 |
[12:07] | Heh, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve said that. | 这句话感觉我都说了不下千百遍了 |
[12:10] | Yeah, he’s got that right. | 是啊 他说得没错 |
[12:15] | Bobby, I told you. | 鲍比 我告诉过你 |
[12:17] | You can’t leave the front door open. | 一定要关好前门 |
[12:18] | We live too close to the YMCA. | 咱们家离基督教青年会太近了 |
[12:21] | No, Ma, these are Caroline’s friends. | 不 妈妈 这些人是卡洛琳的朋友 |
[12:23] | They speak Navajo. | 他们会说印第安语 |
[12:25] | Okay, well, I hope they like Italian, | 好吧 希望他们会喜欢意大利菜 |
[12:27] | ’cause that’s what I spent all night making. | 因为老娘费了一晚上功夫做这个 |
[12:31] | You know, I– I think she’s warming up. | 我觉得她已经开始慢慢热络起来了 |
[12:37] | You see I’m dealing with a perfect ex-girlfriend situation. | 你知道我现在碰到了完美前女友窘境 |
[12:40] | I need you to be on my side. | 我需要你站在我这边帮我 |
[12:42] | Fine. | 行啊 |
[12:43] | I don’t think Jessica made people take sides, just FYI. | 杰西卡就不会逼人偏袒她 个人意见仅供参考 |
[12:46] | Yeah, I think it’s time for me to switch my focus | 是是是 我想我是时候改变策略 |
[12:48] | from the mom to Denise. | 将攻势从妈妈转移到丹妮斯 |
[12:49] | I forgot, I’m actually better with sisters. | 我忘了我其实更擅长跟姐妹们相处 |
[12:52] | I have to be! I have to be! | 我必须行 我必须行 |
[12:54] | Well, you better be. | 你最好能行 |
[12:56] | ‘Cause I’m gonna tell you the same thing | 因为我要跟你说 |
[12:57] | I told my old boyfriend, Missionary Steve: | 我对我前男友传教士[式]史提夫也说过的话 |
[12:59] | it’s time to turn this thing around. | 是时候扭转乾坤[换个姿势]了 |
[13:02] | Denise, there you are! | 丹妮斯 你来啦 |
[13:04] | Oh, look at you. I love a midday costume change. | 瞧瞧你 我可喜欢看人白天换行头啦 |
[13:07] | And you said I couldn’t wear my eating robe to the party. | 而你却不准我穿我的吃货长袍来参加派对 |
[13:11] | Well, since there aren’t gonna be any guys here, | 反正没男人会来 |
[13:13] | I figured I’d just get ready for bed. | 我就早早做好准备上床睡觉啦 |
[13:17] | Ooh, who’s the hottie over there? | 哇 那边那个帅哥是谁 |
[13:22] | The one running in his sleep | 是在睡梦中奔跑的那位 |
[13:23] | or the one fanning his underarms with a plate? | 还是拿盘子向他腋下搧风的那位 |
[13:27] | The muscular one. | 那个肌肉男 |
[13:29] | Muscular? You’re gonna have to point. | 肌肉男 你得指出来 |
[13:32] | Is there a different “over there”? | 我们看的是同一个”那边”吗 |
[13:35] | Come on, guys, in the dining room. | 来吧 各位 来餐厅 |
[13:37] | You have to taste the sauce I made. | 你们一定要尝尝我做的酱汁 |
[13:39] | I used Jessica’s recipe. | 我用的可是杰西卡的秘方哦 |
[13:41] | It’s a frickin’ delight! | 超他妈好吃 |
[13:43] | Watch your mouth, young lady! | 讲话文明点 小妞 |
[13:45] | But she’s right. | 但她说得对 |
[13:50] | Hello. | 你好呀 |
[14:00] | Before we start eating, | 在我们开始进餐前 |
[14:02] | Max, would you like to say grace? | 麦克斯 你来做饭前祷告好吗 |
[14:06] | Thanks, God? | 感谢…上帝吗 |
[14:11] | I’ll do it. | 还是我来吧 |
[14:13] | We thank God and his mother, | 感谢上帝及祂的母亲 |
[14:16] | ’cause we know his mother does everything. | 因为母亲为祂做了一切 |
[14:17] | And he would never date a woman without getting her approval. | 而且祂永远不会未经母亲批准就跟人约会 |
[14:20] | Okay, Ma, I don’t think Jesus was a big dater. | 好了 妈 我觉得耶稣不太约会的吧 |
[14:24] | He wasn’t when I knew him. | 至少我认识祂的时候不是 |
[14:27] | Han, I need you to flirt with Denise. | 阿憨 我要你跟丹妮斯调情 |
[14:29] | – She likes you. – I got that. | -她喜欢你 -我知道啊 |
[14:31] | Her hand is on my knee. | 她的手正放在我膝盖上 |
[14:33] | Oop, not my knee anymore. | 啊哦 现在换地方了 |
[14:36] | Excuse my reach. | 抱歉拿个东西 |
[14:39] | You like them? I got ’em for Christmas. | 你喜欢这对宝贝吗 这是我送自己的圣诞礼物 |
[14:42] | We all chipped in. | 我们都赞助了 |
[14:43] | Jessica worked very closely with the doctor | 杰西卡跟手术的医生是合作关系密切 |
[14:46] | to design the shape texture of the nipples. | 那医生为她设计了奶头的形状质地 |
[14:50] | I got her a calendar. | 我送她一份日历 |
[14:52] | I don’t know who Jessica is, | 我虽然不认识这位杰西卡 |
[14:54] | but I need the sauce recipe. | 但我需要这酱汁的食谱 |
[14:56] | And my lovely wife and I | 而且我和我可爱的妻子 |
[14:58] | wouldn’t mind seeing those nipples at some point. | 不介意一睹那对奶头的芳容 |
[15:01] | Well, there’s no way they’re as good as this sauce. | 那对玩意肯定不如这酱汁美味可口 |
[15:06] | Anyway, Caroline owns a dessert bar. | 对了 卡洛琳拥有一间甜品酒吧 |
[15:08] | What the hell is that? | 那是什么鬼 |
[15:10] | Max, what do you think of the sauce? | 麦克斯 你觉得那酱汁怎么样 |
[15:13] | Max, you can be honest if you don’t love it. | 麦克斯 你”不爱”这味道可以诚实说出来啊 |
[15:16] | What? More. | 什么 再来点 |
[15:20] | Okay, we get it. | 好啦 我们知道 |
[15:21] | You like Jessica’s sauce. | 你喜欢杰西卡的酱汁 |
[15:23] | Mmm, you know, I’m so full, | 我明明已经很饱了 |
[15:26] | but I can’t stop. | 可我还想吃 |
[15:28] | You don’t have to eat it. | 你不一定非要吃啊 |
[15:30] | Are you crazy? | 说什么鬼话 |
[15:31] | This is a once in a lifetime sauce. | 这可是一生难得吃一次的美味酱汁 |
[15:35] | I’m gonna push my Spanx to the limit. | 我要把我的塑身衣撑到最大 |
[15:39] | Could someone switch seats with me? | 有人愿意跟我换一下座位吗 |
[15:41] | What’s going on over there, Denise? | 怎么回事 丹妮斯 |
[15:42] | You keeping your hands to yourself? | 你是不是又对别人毛手毛脚了 |
[15:44] | Uh, I’ll sit next to her. | 那我坐她旁边好了 |
[15:47] | I’d like to move down and sit next to Caroline. | 我想过去坐在卡洛琳旁边 |
[15:49] | Oh, so now you don’t want to sit next to your mother? | 所以现在你不想坐在你妈旁边了吗 |
[15:51] | I’m not hungry anyway. | 反正我也不饿 |
[15:53] | I’m gonna go upstairs and take a shower. | 我要上楼洗澡了 |
[15:58] | There’s a big hole in our shower curtain. | 我们家的浴帘有一个大洞哦 |
[16:01] | Thanks, but I use a doctor-prescribed soap. | 谢谢邀请 但我只用一款医生处方的肥皂 |
[16:05] | Thanks a lot, Han. | 多谢”帮忙”啊 阿憨 |
[16:06] | You couldn’t just take a shower with her for me? | 你就不能为了我去跟她洗个鸳鸯浴吗 |
[16:09] | Ma! Where’s my plate? | 妈 我的那份呢 |
[16:12] | Could somebody take a plate up to Chrissy? | 谁能帮忙拿份面上去给克丽斯 |
[16:14] | She’s still too upset to come out. | 她还是很伤心不愿意出房门 |
[16:16] | – You know, because of– – We know, Ma. | -你们也知道是因为… -我们知道 妈 |
[16:18] | I’ll do it. | 我去吧 |
[16:19] | ‘Cause I–I don’t even like this sauce. | 因为我压根不喜欢这酱汁 |
[16:23] | No, I’ll–I’ll bring Chrissy her plate. | 不 我给克丽斯送上去好了 |
[16:27] | She’s my last chance. | 她是我最后的机会 |
[16:28] | And save me some of that sauce. | 帮我留点那个酱汁 |
[16:29] | It’s the best thing I’ve ever had. | 那是我吃过最好吃的东西 |
[16:31] | Don’t worry, I filled your purse with it. | 别担心 我会帮你装满你的包包 |
[16:37] | Does anyone work here? | 没有人干活的吗 |
[16:38] | Where’s my food? | 我的食物呢 |
[16:43] | Well, well, well, Jessica. | 哎哟哟 杰西卡 |
[16:45] | You may make a great sauce, | 你或许会做很棒的酱汁 |
[16:46] | but you can’t stop me. | 但你阻止不了我 |
[16:51] | What’s going on out there? | 发生什么事了 |
[16:53] | I heard a crash! | 我听到有东西打碎了 |
[16:54] | Uh, everything’s fine! | 啥事都没有 |
[16:56] | A truck hit a kid outside. | 外面有辆卡车撞了个小孩 |
[16:58] | Max, can you come here for a second? | 麦克斯 你能过来一下吗 |
[17:01] | What’s all the commotion? | 刚才那阵骚动是什么 |
[17:02] | I can’t eat my frickin’ feelings if there’s no food! | 如果没食物 让我怎么消化我的情绪啊 |
[17:06] | Was the kid on a bike? | 撞的是骑自行车的小孩吗 |
[17:09] | Oh, my God! Look what you did to Jessica! | 天啊 你对杰西卡做了什么 |
[17:12] | Why are you so jealous of her, Caroline? | 你为什么这么嫉妒她 卡洛琳 |
[17:15] | You’ll never be Jessica, okay? None of us will! | 你永远也当不了杰西卡好吗 我们谁都不行 |
[17:17] | I didn’t do it! | 不是我干的 |
[17:18] | She just fell off the wall. | 她自己从墙上掉下来 |
[17:20] | Max, she is trying to destroy me. | 麦克斯 她想害死我 |
[17:22] | Where’s my food? | 老娘的食物呢 |
[17:24] | I’m starting to scratch my arms again! | 我又要开始狂挠胳膊了啊 |
[17:27] | Okay, I’ll fix the picture. | 好吧 我来搞定照片 |
[17:28] | Give her my plate. | 把我这盘给她吧 |
[17:30] | Hang on. | 等等 |
[17:31] | Let me just take one more big bite. | 让我再多吃一大口 |
[17:33] | Give me a little of that. | 也让我吃点 |
[17:37] | Oh, damn you, Jessica! | 去你妈的 杰西卡 |
[17:45] | Max, how did you fix Jessica’s picture? | 麦克斯 你是怎么弄好杰西卡照片的呢 |
[17:47] | It looks perfect! | 看起来简直完美 |
[17:48] | Wasn’t easy. | 不太容易 |
[17:50] | I tried not to make eye contact with her, | 我尽量避免跟她有眼神接触 |
[17:52] | ’cause I was starting to get feelings. | 因为我开始对她有感情了 |
[17:54] | Hey, there you are. | 你在这儿啊 |
[17:55] | Are you okay? I know my family can be a lot. | 你还好吗 我知道我的家人很难相处 |
[17:58] | No, I’m having a great time. | 没有啦 我玩得很开心 |
[18:01] | You think your mom needs help putting out that macaron? | 你觉得你妈需要人帮忙把马卡龙拿出来吗 |
[18:04] | I noticed they’re not out. | 我注意到她还没拆包装 |
[18:05] | I also noticed one in the birdcage. | 我还注意到有一个在鸟笼里 |
[18:08] | You know what? If you’re not having a good time, | 知道吗 如果你待得不开心 |
[18:10] | we can leave. | 我们随时可以走 |
[18:11] | I’m a grown man. She’s not the boss of me. | 我是一个成年人 不用总听妈妈的话 |
[18:13] | – Bobby! – Coming, Ma! | -鲍比 -马上来 妈 |
[18:17] | Caroline, relax. | 卡洛琳 放轻松 |
[18:19] | Nobody likes you right away. | 没人会立刻喜欢上你 |
[18:21] | I just got there last year, | 我是一直到去年才喜欢上 |
[18:23] | and there’s still a lot of red flags. | 而且直到现在感情还很多雷区 |
[18:29] | Thank you for letting me borrow Denise’s Snuggie. | 谢谢你借我穿丹妮斯的毛毯袍 |
[18:33] | I feel like I’m back in the womb again. | 感觉我又回到我妈子宫里了呢 |
[18:36] | But it doesn’t reek of cigarettes. | 不过这”子宫”里没有满是烟味 |
[18:38] | Wait. | 等等 |
[18:40] | I think it does. | 好像有烟味 |
[18:43] | I like it. | 我喜欢 |
[18:44] | I’m gonna like it even more when it’s on the floor tonight. | 今晚这件衣服脱在地上时 我会更喜欢 |
[18:49] | Is that one still breathing? | 那人还有气儿吗 |
[18:54] | All right, Ma, I’m going to karate. | 好啦 妈 我要去练空手道啦 |
[18:57] | Karate? | 空手道吗 |
[18:58] | Well, well, well. | 哎哟哟 |
[19:00] | Tae Kwon Hello. | 跆拳道向你问好 |
[19:02] | I happen to be a yellow belt. | 我还是个黄带[基础]呢 |
[19:04] | Oh, yeah? | 是吗 |
[19:07] | Oh, yeah. | 是的 |
[19:10] | I got five of the macaron back from the birdcage. | 我从鸟笼里拿出了五个马卡龙 |
[19:13] | I’ll get your Snuggie back to you by tomorrow. | 我明天把毛毯袍还给你 |
[19:15] | I’ll give to Bobby in the morning | 明早鲍比从卡洛琳家走 |
[19:17] | when he leaves Caroline’s. | 我就顺便把袍子给他 |
[19:22] | You said you slept at Brian’s. | 你不是说你在布莱恩家睡吗 |
[19:24] | You lying to me now? | 你现在开始骗我了吗 |
[19:25] | Ma… | 妈 |
[19:27] | I was with Caroline last night. | 我昨晚在卡洛琳家过夜 |
[19:30] | But I didn’t see him naked. | 但我没看到他的裸体 |
[19:31] | I did. Our bathroom door doesn’t lock. | 我看到了 我们浴室的门不能锁 |
[19:34] | I see why he’s your favorite, Mrs. F. | 我看出他为啥是你最爱的孩子了 太太 |
[19:38] | Uh, we’re watching something. | 我们在看东西 |
[19:39] | Can you two talk somewhere else? | 你们能不能去其他地方说话 |
[19:42] | It’s fine. I’ll turn it up. | 没关系啦 我开大声点 |
[19:44] | Where–where’s the remote? | 遥 遥控器在哪里 |
[19:47] | Whoa, Ma, I–I only got engaged to be engaged | 妈 我会订了要跟人家订婚 |
[19:49] | ’cause Dad was sick, and I wanted you to be happy. | 纯粹是因为爸爸生病 我希望你开心点 |
[19:52] | But now I’m with Caroline, and… | 可现在我跟卡洛琳在一起了 |
[19:54] | Caroline makes me happy. | 而她让我很快乐 |
[19:56] | – I do? – She does? | -我有吗 -她有吗 |
[19:58] | You do. | 有啊 |
[19:59] | She does. | 她有的 |
[20:04] | – Okay, it was– – Uh, it was a sign… | -好啦 是… -是上天的旨意 |
[20:07] | that Jessica didn’t belong there anymore. | 或许杰西卡不应该再被挂在那里了 |
[20:12] | You know what? You make my Bobby smile. | 其实呢 你给我的鲍比带来笑容 |
[20:15] | And he’s even more handsome when he smiles. | 而他笑的时候比平常更帅了 |
[20:18] | Chrissy, come down and meet Caroline! | 克丽斯 下楼来见卡洛琳 |
[20:20] | She hot? Cause I don’t like uggos, Ma. | 她正点吗 我最讨厌丑逼了 妈 |
[20:24] | She’s gorgeous. | 她美呆了 |
[20:25] | She looks like me. | 她长得像我 |
[20:27] | Just with a little more mustache. | 除了比我多了点胡子 |
[20:31] | Welcome to our home, girls. | 欢迎来到我们家 姑娘们 |
[20:33] | – Oh, thank you! – Thank you! | -谢谢 -谢谢 |
[20:34] | You have no idea how much this means to me! | 你都不知道这对我有多大意义 |
[20:40] | Try and get out of this hold. | 你试试挣脱我这固定术 |
[20:42] | Who says I want to? | 谁告诉你我想挣脱了 |
[20:46] | So same time next Sunday? | 下周日同一时间见吗 |