| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Max, we’re back. | 麦克斯 我们回来啦 |
| [00:05] | Aw, that sucks. | 真扫兴 |
| [00:06] | This place didn’t burn down while we were gone, | 这里没跟我希望中那样 在我们不在时 |
| [00:08] | like I had hoped. | 被一把火烧掉 |
| [00:10] | The night is young, and I have a Roman candle in my pocket. | 今夜才开始 而且我口袋里有罗马蜡烛烟火筒 |
| [00:14] | Hi, welcome to the Williamsburg diner. | 你们好 欢迎来到威廉斯堡餐厅 |
| [00:16] | Table for two? | 两个人吗 |
| [00:18] | Don’t be silly, Earl. | 别闹了 厄尔 |
| [00:19] | It’s us, Max and Caroline. | 是我们啊 麦克斯跟卡洛琳 |
| [00:21] | And I’m Earl. Smoking or nonsmoking? | 我叫厄尔 你们抽烟还是不抽烟 |
| [00:25] | Glad to have you back. | 你们回来就好啦 |
| [00:27] | Max and Caroline! | 麦克斯 卡洛琳 |
| [00:28] | You’re back from your road trip. | 你们公路旅行回来啦 |
| [00:30] | And right on time for yesterday’s shift. | 正正好错过昨天的班呢 |
| [00:34] | We’re also not working today. | 我们今天也不工作 |
| [00:35] | Tomorrow’s not great either. | 明天也不太有空 |
| [00:38] | Ugh, thank God you’re back. | 幸好你们回来了 |
| [00:40] | Besides Han, there hasn’t been a girl in here in days, and… | 除了阿憨之外 店里好久没有小妞了 而且… |
| [00:44] | she’s not my type. | 她不是我的型 |
| [00:47] | What is your type? | 你的是那种型 |
| [00:48] | Hepatitis A, B, or C? | 甲型 乙型 还是丙型肝炎啊 |
| [00:51] | So what did you bring us? | 所以你们给我们带了什么礼物 |
| [00:55] | Uh, you guys don’t understand. | 你们得理解我们的遭遇 |
| [00:56] | We got kicked off a riverboat, | 我们坐船被从船上踢下来 |
| [00:58] | almost crashed a plane, | 坐飞机差点坠机 |
| [00:59] | and lost everything we own. | 行李和钱都全丢了 |
| [01:01] | Honestly, it’s a miracle we’re alive. | 讲真 我们没死已经是奇迹了 |
| [01:04] | So…no gifts? | 所以… 没礼物吗 |
| [01:20] | Let’s get to the dessert bar | 我们去甜品酒吧 |
| [01:21] | so we can see the work they did. | 看看他们装修得怎么样了 |
| [01:23] | Also so people don’t think we’re customers here. | 而且也能避免被误认是这里的客人 |
| [01:26] | I’m excited to see it too, | 我也很等不及去看看 |
| [01:27] | and now that Randy and I are really over, | 现在我跟兰迪真的彻底玩完了 |
| [01:29] | I promise to give the dessert bar my full 5%. | 我答应对甜品酒吧付出我5%的心力 |
| [01:32] | Make it 6%. | 凑个6%吧 |
| [01:35] | I mean, what else am I gonna do, hmm? | 不然我也没别的事做啊 |
| [01:38] | Stop. | 留步 |
| [01:41] | Oleg, stop blocking the door. | 奥列格 别挡着门了 |
| [01:43] | We’re not on a date with you. | 我们又不是在跟你约会 |
| [01:44] | We want to see the dessert bar. | 我们想去看看甜品酒吧 |
| [01:46] | Eh, sure, | 行啊 |
| [01:47] | but before you go in there, | 但在你们去之前 |
| [01:49] | do you want to see a cute picture | 想不想看一张超有爱的 |
| [01:50] | of me, Sophie, and baby Barbara? | 我跟苏菲还有芭芭拉宝宝全家福 |
| [01:53] | Sure. | 好啊 |
| [01:57] | You didn’t say it was in the bathtub. | 你没说是在浴缸里啊 |
| [02:01] | Well, now that you’re annoyed | 现在你们不爽 |
| [02:02] | and hopefully a little impressed… | 希望你们还有一点赞叹… |
| [02:05] | I can tell you | 我能跟你们坦白 |
| [02:06] | I had to fire your contractor. | 我当时不得不炒了你们的承包商 |
| [02:07] | What? | 什么 |
| [02:08] | I thought I could do a better job. | 我以为我能比他做得更好 |
| [02:09] | What? | 什么 |
| [02:10] | I couldn’t. | 结果我不行 |
| [02:13] | I can’t believe Oleg! | 我真是信了奥列格的邪 |
| [02:14] | How the hell could he let a complete stranger… | 他怎么可以让一个陌生人… |
| [02:18] | Do such an amazing job? | 做出这么赞的活儿 |
| [02:22] | Wait, we’re still killing Oleg, though, right? | 等等 我们还是要去杀奥列格的吧 |
| [02:24] | ‘Cause the wheels are already in motion. | 因为老娘的箭已经在弦上了 |
| [02:27] | Oh, my God, look at the doors. | 天啊 你看那些门 |
| [02:29] | And the molding? | 那些装饰线板 |
| [02:31] | And the sconces? | 还有那些壁灯 |
| [02:33] | I don’t remember what an orgasm is like, | 我已经不记得高潮是什么感觉 |
| [02:35] | but I think I might be having one. | 但我觉得我高潮来了 |
| [02:37] | Hey, girls. | 姑娘们 |
| [02:39] | Welcome home. | 欢迎回家 |
| [02:41] | Baby Barbara thought you were dead. | 芭芭拉宝宝以为你们死了呢 |
| [02:44] | Isn’t that funny? | 是不是很好笑啊 |
| [02:46] | Not “Vince Vaughn doing drama” funny, but what is? | 没有”文斯·沃恩演戏剧”这么可笑 但啥比得过呢 |
| [02:51] | Wow, Barbara got so big while we were gone. | 我们不在这段期间 芭芭拉长大许多啊 |
| [02:57] | You got to give her a break, ’cause she got | 你得让她休息休息 她遗传到了 |
| [02:59] | her Uncle Fatso’s genes. | 她肥索舅舅的基因 |
| [03:02] | By the way, Sophie, thank you for watching our horse | 对了 苏菲 谢谢你在我们不在时 |
| [03:04] | while we were gone. | 帮忙照顾我们的马 |
| [03:05] | He’s my favorite roommate. | 他是我最爱的室友了 |
| [03:07] | Aww, well, you know what, | 太客气了啦 |
| [03:08] | that’s what friends are for. | 朋友间本该互相照应 |
| [03:10] | And I’m sure you would do the same for me | 我也相信轮到我有需要时 |
| [03:12] | if I needed a favor. | 你也会帮忙我 |
| [03:14] | – Of course we would. – Good, ’cause I need a favor. | -当然会啦 -太好了 因为我需要帮忙 |
| [03:17] | Yeah, see, | 是这样的 |
| [03:18] | I joined this mommy support group, you know, | 我加入了一个了妈妈帮 |
| [03:21] | to make sure that I’m holding the baby up right, | 就是比如确保我有正确把宝宝朝上抱 |
| [03:23] | or you know, | 又或者是 |
| [03:25] | that I don’t get too jealous | 让自己不会在别人 |
| [03:27] | when people compliment her. | 夸奖她的时候太嫉妒 |
| [03:30] | The standard mom stuff. | 就是正常妈妈该懂的事情 |
| [03:33] | So what’s the favor? | 所以需要帮忙什么呢 |
| [03:34] | I’ll do anything up to a Class B felony. | 我最多能帮到B级重罪的忙 |
| [03:37] | I still have one strike left. | 我还有一次才会被三振出局 |
| [03:37] | B级重罪仅比A级低 属于较严重罪刑 三振出局法是对超3次的重罪累犯加重量刑 | |
| [03:38] | Well, I’m hosting, | 我要办派对 |
| [03:40] | and there are gonna be a lot of sloppy babies there, | 而到时候肯定会有很多乱拉屎撒尿的宝宝 |
| [03:43] | so I’m looking for a real dump. | 所以我想找个垃圾堆做场地 |
| [03:47] | Can I use your place? | 我能借用你们家吗 |
| [03:50] | Sophie, I don’t think– | 苏菲 我觉得不太… |
| [03:52] | Thank you, girls. | 太谢谢你们了 |
| [03:54] | Yeah, you’re the best, | 你们最好了 |
| [03:56] | no matter what baby Barbara tells her friends. | 无论芭芭拉怎么跟朋友说你们坏话都不会改变 |
| [04:02] | I thought Barbara liked me. | 我还以为芭芭拉喜欢我呢 |
| [04:04] | I’m gonna text her. | 我要发短信跟她谈谈 |
| [04:09] | Oh, hey. I’m Bobby. | 你好 我叫鲍比 |
| [04:10] | I did the work on your bar. | 你们酒吧是我装修的 |
| [04:12] | You must be Max and Caroline. | 想必你们就是麦克斯与卡洛琳吧 |
| [04:15] | I’m Maroline, and this is Cax. | 我是麦洛琳 她是卡克斯 |
| [04:19] | -I mean– -Yeah, let’s just move past it. | -我是说 -直接说下去吧 |
| [04:21] | Uh, we’re who you said. | 我们就是你说的人 |
| [04:23] | Well, I hope you like it. | 希望你们喜欢 |
| [04:24] | The only guidance I got was from your friend Oleg, | 我唯一得到的指导 来自你们朋友奥列格 |
| [04:26] | who just kept saying “Sluttier.” | 他一直不停地说”再骚浪贱一点” |
| [04:28] | And then he showed me a picture of him in the bathtub. | 然后他就给我看了一张他在浴缸里的照片 |
| [04:32] | You did an amazing job. | 你装修得超赞 |
| [04:34] | I mean, what you did with those knobs. | 你弄的那些门把[龟头]什么的 |
| [04:36] | Polished brass. | 抛光铜色 |
| [04:39] | Looks like you want to polish his brass. | 感觉你很想抛光他的”铜头”啊 |
| [04:41] | And how do you like the satin on the sconces? | 你喜欢壁灯的雾面罩子吗 |
| [04:45] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [04:46] | My knees are wiggling. | 我膝盖都发软 合不拢腿了 |
| [04:48] | You like that? | 你喜欢吗 |
| [04:49] | – And the finish on the molding? – Oh, love it! | -还有这装饰线板的做工 -爱死了 |
| [04:52] | I think she’s about to finish on the molding. | 她爱到都要跟装饰线板”做”了吧 |
| [04:56] | You’re the only man who knew what I wanted | 你是唯一一个懂我想要什么 |
| [04:58] | without me having to tell him three times | 而且不需要我反复说三遍后 |
| [05:00] | and then give up. | 干脆放弃了的男人 |
| [05:01] | Hey, great. | 那就好 |
| [05:02] | I’ll tell the boss you liked it. | 我会告诉老板你很喜欢 |
| [05:04] | “Bobby, you did it again.” | “鲍比 你又成功啦” |
| [05:06] | In case you missed it, I’m the boss. | 怕你没懂我的笑点 我就是老板 |
| [05:09] | See, ’cause he’s the boss, | 你懂了吗 因为他扮老板 |
| [05:11] | so he was telling himself. | 所以他是在对自己说 |
| [05:13] | It’s too many levels for her. | 笑点太深她不懂 |
| [05:15] | Hey, um, listen, I should probably get going, | 听我说 我也差不多该走了 |
| [05:17] | but if you need anything else, | 但如果你有任何需要 |
| [05:20] | you can call me. | 记得打给我 |
| [05:21] | Or my boss. Anytime. | 或打给我老板 任何时候都行 |
| [05:24] | Well, I might just have to call you both. | 那我可能就两个都打就行了 |
| [05:27] | Ciao! | 炒[再见] |
| [05:30] | “Ciao”? | 还”炒”呢 |
| [05:33] | Unless you’re gonna say “mein” after that, | 除非你后面是要接”面” |
| [05:35] | I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 不然我真不知道你是在说什么鬼 |
| [05:37] | He’s really cute. | 他好可爱啊 |
| [05:38] | Oh, you think so? | 你是这么觉得吗 |
| [05:40] | You were playing it pretty cool, Maroline. | 你真是”超冷静完全看不出来”呢 麦洛琳 |
| [05:50] | Oh, don’t worry, | 没关系 |
| [05:52] | you can ruin everything in here. | 这里的东西你全都可以毁 |
| [05:53] | I don’t care. | 我不在乎 |
| [05:56] | I do. | 我在乎 |
| [05:57] | I just scrubbed the couch. | 我才刚清理过那张沙发 |
| [06:00] | How much longer do we have to stay in here? | 我们还得待在里面多久啊 |
| [06:03] | Caroline’s talking about a third grade field trip. | 卡洛琳开始聊她三年级时的校外教学了 |
| [06:06] | I got lost in Toronto. | 我在多伦多走丢了呢 |
| [06:10] | Girls, ignore them. | 姐妹们 忽略她们 |
| [06:12] | Society does. | 社会就忽略她们了 |
| [06:15] | Uh, so where are your babies? | 你们的宝宝呢 |
| [06:17] | Out parking the car? | 在外面停车吗 |
| [06:21] | See, I don’t let Barbara drive yet. | 我就不让芭芭拉开车 |
| [06:23] | Should I? | 我该让她开吗 |
| [06:27] | We don’t bring ’em to the meetings. | 我们聚会时从不带宝宝 |
| [06:28] | They ruin everything. | 他们只会破坏一切 |
| [06:30] | Starting with our vaginas. | 一出生就破坏了我们的”小洞洞” |
| [06:32] | Oh, yeah, | 对啊 |
| [06:33] | my husband ruined mine on my first date. | 我老公在我们第一次约会就玩坏我的了 |
| [06:39] | See–well, see, I thought | 是 是这样的 我本以为 |
| [06:41] | that a mother’s group, you know, you– | 妈妈帮聚会是… |
| [06:43] | you talk about your babies. | 聊聊宝宝的事情 |
| [06:45] | Wouldn’t they love that? | 宝宝们巴不得我们聊吧 |
| [06:47] | No, this is for us to– | 不是的 这是我们用来 |
| [06:49] | to trade pills and get trashed | 交换”药物” 喝个大醉 |
| [06:51] | and fantasize about Gone Girl-ing our husbands. | 以及幻想跟我们老公玩一把《消失的爱人》 |
| [06:55] | Oh, my God, I’m doing everything wrong. | 天啊 那我真是满盘皆错 |
| [06:58] | Yeah, just like the ’84 Olympics all over again. | 我又想起我在84年奥运的不堪回忆了 |
| [07:03] | What’s up, sluts? | 婊姐妹们 大家好啊 |
| [07:06] | Ugh, there’s a baby here? | 这里有个婴儿啊 |
| [07:08] | If I weren’t already stoned, | 要不是我大麻抽晕乎了 |
| [07:09] | I’d drive somewhere else. | 我现在就开车去别处 |
| [07:12] | My bad. | 我的错 |
| [07:14] | Yeah, see, | 是这样的 |
| [07:16] | I thought we were gonna compare notes on bedtimes | 我以为是要交流孩子就寝时间的经验 |
| [07:20] | and how asleep a baby has to be | 以及孩子到底要睡多熟 |
| [07:22] | to have sex in front of it. | 才可以在他们面前做爱 |
| [07:24] | You have sex with your trainer too? | 你也跟你的健身教练上床吗 |
| [07:27] | Should I? | 我该吗 |
| [07:32] | Seeing what you girls did to the dessert bar | 看到你们俩给甜品酒吧做的改变 |
| [07:35] | inspired me to make some improvements around here. | 激发了我改善餐厅的念头 |
| [07:38] | Don’t tell me you found a way | 别告诉我你找到 |
| [07:39] | to unstick the menus from the tables. | 把桌面上黏住的菜单抠起来的方法 |
| [07:41] | Whoa, one step at a time. | 一步一步来好吗 |
| [07:44] | I did give this place more of a facelift | 但我的确给这里”整容”了许多 |
| [07:46] | than Brad Pitt in preparation for the movie Allied. | 比布拉德·皮特为电影《间谍同盟》拉的皮还多 |
| [07:50] | Yeah, Han, this place looks exactly the same. | 阿憨 这里看起来一点都没变 |
| [07:52] | My suicide note is still scrawled on the wall. | 我乱写在墙上的自杀遗书都还在呢 |
| [07:55] | Yeah, it looks like the same old post office to me. | 看起来还是同一间邮局啊 |
| [07:59] | It’s not a freakin’ post office! | 这里他妈不是邮局 |
| [08:03] | Max, we should really get over to the dessert bar. | 麦克斯 我们真的得过去甜品酒吧了 |
| [08:05] | Bobby’s on his way to look at those gorgeous sconces | 鲍比正在过来看我很不满意的 |
| [08:08] | I am very unhappy with. | 超美壁灯的路上 |
| [08:11] | Why do you have to use the dessert bar | 为什么你要用甜品酒吧 |
| [08:12] | as an excuse to see him? | 来当你再见他的借口啊 |
| [08:14] | If you like him, why don’t you just say, | 如果你喜欢他 你何不直接说 |
| [08:15] | “Hey, you’re cute. Want to see my horse?” | “你好可爱啊 想看我的马吗” |
| [08:18] | Because a lady waits for a gentleman | 因为淑女都会等绅士 |
| [08:21] | to ask to see her horse. | 主动请求看她的马 |
| [08:23] | I don’t know what ladies you’re hanging out with. | 我真不知道你都是跟哪些淑女混 |
| [08:25] | Apparently none. | 貌似完全没有 |
| [08:28] | Bobby’s at the dessert bar. | 鲍比到甜品酒吧了 |
| [08:29] | Let me just change into something | 让我先换成 |
| [08:31] | a little more comfortable. | 比较舒适的穿着 |
| [08:32] | Why are you making this so complicated? | 你为什么要把这事搞这么复杂 |
| [08:34] | Why don’t you just say, “Let’s get drinks | 你为什么不直接说”咱们来喝酒 |
| [08:36] | to make the sex less awkward?” | 喝完打炮比较不尴尬” |
| [08:41] | Or you could do that. | 或者你也可以这样 |
| [08:46] | Oh, hi, Bobby, I forgot you were stopping by. | 你好啊 鲍比 我忘了你会来 |
| [08:50] | She thought she was hosting Wheel of Fortune in here. | 她以为她要在这里主持《幸运之轮》呢 |
| [08:50] | 美国游戏节目 女主持梵娜·怀特穿着就如此 玩的游戏比如有猜字母填空游戏 | |
| [08:54] | I’d buy a vowel from her. | 我愿意跟她买个母音 |
| [08:57] | Well, it would be two As. | 场上亮起了两个A |
| [09:02] | oh, uh, what did you want to show me? | 你想给我看什么来着 |
| [09:04] | Apparently a little side boob. | 貌似是一点侧乳 |
| [09:06] | This sconce. | 壁灯 |
| [09:07] | I noticed that if I put | 我发现如果我用 |
| [09:09] | all the force of my body against it, | 全身力气推它 |
| [09:11] | it moves a little. | 它就会有点移位 |
| [09:12] | See? | 你看 |
| [09:17] | Ugh, I– | 我… |
| [09:19] | I must have jammed it into place | 可能被我推进正确位置了 |
| [09:20] | while I was testing its virility. | 当时我在测试它生殖力 |
| [09:22] | I mean, stability. | 不对 是稳定力 |
| [09:28] | See? Told you it was loose. | 你看 我就说有点松 |
| [09:31] | I guess I have stick around as long as it takes | 看来我得一直在这里待着 |
| [09:33] | until it’s fixed. | 直到它修好为止 |
| [09:35] | Oh, good, because I wouldn’t feel safe | 那就好 因为在你弄好之前 |
| [09:38] | pulling aggressively on anything until you do. | 我都不敢太用力拔任何东西 |
| [09:41] | Caroline! | 卡洛琳 |
| [09:43] | We got to get to the hospital. | 我们得赶去医院 |
| [09:44] | Oh, no, I’m fine. | 不用 我没事 |
| [09:46] | Bobby caught me. | 鲍比接住我了 |
| [09:47] | Not for you, Vanna Very White. | 不是你有事 梵娜·超白特 |
| [09:50] | I just got a call saying Randy was in an accident in Manhattan. | 我接到一通电话说兰迪在曼哈顿出意外了 |
| [09:52] | He must have been coming to see me. | 他肯定是为了来见我 |
| [09:54] | Just when I thought it was over, | 在我以为一切没戏之时 |
| [09:55] | he ropes me back in with a life-threatening emergency. | 他又用危及生命的紧急事故把我拐回去 |
| [09:59] | How bad is he? | 多严重啊 |
| [10:00] | Because these sconces | 因为这些壁灯 |
| [10:02] | won’t be able to wear this dress again tomorrow. | 明天就没办法再穿这件裙子了 |
| [10:05] | All I know is that it’s serious, and they called me | 我只知道很严重 他们打给我 |
| [10:07] | ’cause I’m the emergency contact on his phone. | 是因为我是他手机里的紧急联络人 |
| [10:09] | Okay. I’ll be back as fast as I can. | 好吧 我会尽快回来 |
| [10:11] | I’ll work as slow as I can. | 那我会尽慢干活 |
| [10:13] | I won’t tell your boss… ’cause he’s the– | 我不会告诉你老板 因为他就是… |
| [10:15] | I get it. Let’s go. | 我懂那个哏 快走 |
| [10:20] | Oh, he’s still alive. | 他还活着 |
| [10:21] | Oh, thank God his face isn’t hurt. | 谢天谢地他脸蛋没受伤 |
| [10:23] | And–one, two, three, four, five, six. | 还有 一二三四五六 |
| [10:25] | Yep, they’re all there. | 统统都还在 |
| [10:27] | Why is his shirt always off? | 他为什么总是不穿上衣啊 |
| [10:29] | He’s like Kirsten Dunst in a dramatic role. | 就像某女演员一样总露胸 |
| [10:32] | Well, I had to take his shirt off, because– | 我不得不脱掉他上衣嘛 因为他… |
| [10:34] | well, ’cause you know, he broke his leg. | 你们懂 他腿断了嘛 |
| [10:38] | This is a private room. | 这里是私人病房 |
| [10:39] | You ladies can’t be in here. | 你们俩不能待在这里 |
| [10:41] | I’m his emergency contact, Max. | 我是他的紧急联络人 麦克斯 |
| [10:42] | I’ll take the rest of his clothing off from here. | 剩下的衣服交给我脱吧 |
| [10:45] | And can you get me a straw | 你能帮我拿根吸管来吗 |
| [10:46] | so we can share this morphine drip mai tai style? | 这样我们能像喝鸡尾酒般共享这吗啡点滴 |
| [10:49] | You girls have two minutes, | 给你们两分钟时间 |
| [10:50] | and remember, this is a hospital, | 切记 这里是医院 |
| [10:52] | so no messing around. | 所以不许”瞎搞” |
| [10:54] | Ooh, that’s my coconut oil. | 哎呀 差点忘了我的椰子油 |
| [10:58] | Coconut oil? | 椰子油 |
| [10:59] | Great, now he’s edible. | 太棒了 他现在可以吃了 |
| [11:01] | Oh, my God, Max. | 天啊 麦克斯 |
| [11:02] | This is very An Affair to Remember. | 这活脱就是《难忘情事》里的情节啊 |
| [11:05] | I’m more of a Quickie to Forget kind of girl. | 我更像是”炮完就忘”的那种妹子 |
| [11:08] | No, that Randy came all the way to New York to see you | 不 兰迪大老远跑来纽约见你 |
| [11:11] | and then got into a tragic accident | 结果惨遭不幸 出了意外 |
| [11:13] | and now here you are at his bedside. | 而此刻你在这里 守在他的病床边 |
| [11:16] | Max, I don’t want to get ahead of myself, | 麦克斯 我不想把话说太早 |
| [11:18] | but we might both have boyfriends. | 但咱俩可能都要有男朋友啦 |
| [11:21] | Double date dance? | 来段庆祝四人约会舞吗 |
| [11:26] | Max? | 麦克斯 |
| [11:28] | What are you doing here? | 你怎么会在这里 |
| [11:30] | Where’s my shirt? | 我的上衣呢 |
| [11:32] | When did Caroline start hosting Wheel of Fortune? | 卡洛琳什么时候开始主持《幸运之轮》了 |
| [11:35] | Ah, that’s what I said! | 我也是这么评价她这身衣服 |
| [11:36] | Um, I got the call that you were hurt, | 我接到电话说你受伤了 |
| [11:38] | so I came right over, | 所以我就过来了 |
| [11:39] | and as for your shirt, | 至于你的上衣嘛 |
| [11:40] | I think the nurses are making a pillow husband out of it. | 我想那群护士应该拿去做一个抱枕老公了 |
| [11:45] | Hi, Randy, sorry you broke your leg, | 兰迪 很难过你的腿伤了 |
| [11:46] | but great news. | 但我有好消息 |
| [11:48] | I like someone. | 我喜欢上某人了 |
| [11:50] | Oh, that’s right. | 我想起来了 |
| [11:51] | You’re still my emergency contact. | 你还是我的紧急联络人 |
| [11:53] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [11:54] | I never switched it back to my trainer. | 我忘了把它改回我的健身教练了 |
| [11:57] | What happened? Was it a runaway hot dog cart? | 怎么回事 是被躲城管的热狗车撞了吗 |
| [12:00] | Because that is my worst nightmare… | 因为那是我最可怕的恶梦 |
| [12:02] | besides having my credit card declined at Kohl’s. | 还有就是我的信用卡被百货公司拒刷 |
| [12:05] | But I lived through it. | 但我还是挺过来了 |
| [12:08] | I got hit by a cab on my way to JFK. | 我去机场的路上被一辆出租车撞了 |
| [12:11] | You mean you got hit by a cab | 你是说从机场来的路上 |
| [12:13] | on your way from JFK. | 被出租车撞了吧 |
| [12:15] | You were in New York to see me, right? | 你是来纽约见我的 对吗 |
| [12:17] | Track me down, beg me to take you back, | 跟踪我 求我跟你复合 |
| [12:19] | pull my hair a little? | 还激动到扯我的头发 |
| [12:21] | No, I was–I was leaving. | 不 我的确是要离开 |
| [12:23] | Leaving? But you hadn’t– | 离开 可你还没… |
| [12:24] | Do you know what? | 我知道啦 |
| [12:25] | The accident must have given him that “To-and-from-lexia.” | 这次意外肯定让他得了”来去颠倒症” |
| [12:29] | I think Whoopi Goldberg has it. | 我觉得乌比·戈德堡就有这病 |
| [12:32] | Time’s up, ladies. Patient needs a sponge bath. | 时间到 姑娘们 病人需要海棉擦浴了 |
| [12:34] | He’s got coconut oil all over him. | 他现在浑身都是椰子油 |
| [12:36] | Hey, Max, wait. | 麦克斯 等等 |
| [12:38] | She just got here. Didn’t she? | 她才刚到 对吧 |
| [12:40] | Told ya. He’s got that “Come-and-go-heimers.” | 我就说吧 他得了”来去健忘症” |
| [12:43] | Whoopi writes all about it in her book. | 乌比出的那本书里面就有写 |
| [12:44] | It’s very hard to follow. | 非常难懂 |
| [12:53] | Max, these are like pajamas | 麦克斯 这衣服就像 |
| [12:55] | for couples who don’t care anymore. | 已不在乎自己形象的老夫老妻才会穿的睡衣 |
| [12:59] | Speak for yourself. | 你说你自己吧 |
| [13:01] | These puppies care a lot. | 这上面的狗狗可在乎形象啦 |
| [13:04] | Oh, good, they’re all gone. | 太好了 她们都走了 |
| [13:06] | They left me zero room to sign his cast. | 她们都把石膏写满了 完全不给我留地儿 |
| [13:09] | I want to get back to the dessert bar | 我想回甜品酒吧 |
| [13:10] | while Bobby’s still there | 趁鲍比还没走 |
| [13:11] | and possibly working up a little sweat. | 没准因为干活还出了点汗 |
| [13:14] | Go ahead. I’ll punch you out. | 快去吧 我会帮你打卡 |
| [13:16] | But if you keep leaving early, | 但如果你一直早退 |
| [13:17] | they’re gonna make you work Christmas. | 医院会让你圣诞节也上班 |
| [13:18] | Nurse, we need all hands on deck. | 护士 我们需要所有人过来帮忙 |
| [13:20] | We’ve got a 41 in here, | 有个状况代号41的病人 |
| [13:21] | and he’s a squirter. | 他会乱喷哦 |
| [13:23] | You–you’re up, girl. I had the last one. | 你去吧 妹子 我刚忙完上一个 |
| [13:33] | “Dear Randy, Nice ass. | “亲爱的兰迪 屁股棒棒哒 |
| [13:35] | Nurse Barb.” | 护士芭布” |
| [13:37] | Well, that is good. | 那的确很棒 |
| [13:43] | Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [13:46] | I didn’t wake you, did I? | 我没吵醒你吧 |
| [13:48] | But now that you’re up, why are you in New York? | 不过既然你现在醒了 你为什么来纽约 |
| [13:50] | You said you were on your way to the airport | 你说你是在去机场的路上 |
| [13:53] | when you got hurt? | 出意外受伤的 |
| [13:54] | I was. | 是的 |
| [13:56] | So you weren’t here to see me. | 所以你不是来见我的 |
| [13:59] | No, I was trying not to see you. | 不是 我是试着不去见你 |
| [14:03] | I’m leaving. | 我要走了 |
| [14:04] | Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [14:08] | You broke up with me. | 是你跟我分手的 |
| [14:10] | That time over the phone? | 用电话分手那次吗 |
| [14:12] | You took that seriously? That’s insane. | 你还当真了吗 太扯了吧 |
| [14:15] | The “This is a cry for attention” was implied. | 我那是暗示”你要哄我”啊 |
| [14:18] | What I heard was, “This isn’t enough for me,” | 而我听到的是”我不能满足于此” |
| [14:22] | and since we can’t make it work, it just–it’s– | 既然我们没办法在一起… |
| [14:24] | it’s too hard for me to see you. | 我很难再去面对你 |
| [14:25] | Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard what you said on the movie set. | 是是是 我在片场听到你怎么说的了 |
| [14:29] | In Texas? | 在德州吗 |
| [14:30] | How’d you hear what I said on set? | 你怎么能听到我在片场说的话呢 |
| [14:32] | I was a zombie extra. | 我跑去当僵尸临演啊 |
| [14:33] | Grow up. | 长大长点脑好吗 |
| [14:36] | That was you. | 果然是你 |
| [14:37] | Everyone said I was crazy because I thought | 每个人都说我疯了 因为我当时就觉得 |
| [14:39] | I saw you and Caroline on set. | 我在片场看见你和卡洛琳了 |
| [14:41] | My therapist put me on antidepressants. | 我的治疗师还给我开了抗抑郁的药 |
| [14:44] | Yeah, well, joke’s on them, | 你没错 是他们搞错了 |
| [14:45] | ’cause it really was me hanging there. | 因为吊在那里的真的是我 |
| [14:47] | Max, that’s crazy. | 麦克斯 那太疯狂了 |
| [14:48] | Why didn’t you say something when you saw me? | 那你看见我时 为什么不跟我说话 |
| [14:50] | Because you said you were in a good place | 因为你说你现在处境很好 |
| [14:52] | and you want to move on, blah, blah, blah. | 你想重新开始 诸如此类的屁话 |
| [14:54] | And I don’t want to hurt you anymore. | 我不想再伤害你了 |
| [14:56] | But now I want to break your other leg. | 可现在我想打断你另一条腿 |
| [14:59] | Max, look at us. | 麦克斯 你看咱俩 |
| [15:00] | I ran to the airport and got hit by a cab | 我跑去机场结果被车撞 |
| [15:02] | trying to get out of here | 是为了赶紧离开这里 |
| [15:03] | because I was tempted to see you. | 因为我忍不住想去见你 |
| [15:05] | And you broke into a hospital not to steal drugs. | 而你闯进医院却不是为了偷药 |
| [15:10] | Maybe this relationship is bad for us. | 或许这段感情对我们来说有害无益 |
| [15:12] | There’s just so much squirt! | 这喷得太多了吧 |
| [15:16] | Definitely for Caroline. | 对卡洛琳绝对有害 |
| [15:23] | I miss you. | 我想你 |
| [15:24] | I miss you too. | 我也想你 |
| [15:26] | Then let’s stop being crazy. | 那我们不要再相互折磨了 |
| [15:28] | Move to LA. | 你搬来洛城吧 |
| [15:31] | You know, six years ago, | 如果是六年前 |
| [15:32] | I would’ve done that in a heartbeat. | 我会毫不犹豫答应你 |
| [15:34] | I would’ve thrown my bubblegum cigs | 我会扔掉我的泡泡糖香烟 |
| [15:37] | and my nunchucks in a Safeway bag | 扔掉我超市袋子里装的双节棍 |
| [15:38] | and been your lady. | 心甘情愿做你的女人 |
| [15:41] | But it’s different now. I’m different. | 但今时不同往日 我不再是过去的我 |
| [15:43] | I care about something, | 我有值得在乎的事物 |
| [15:44] | and I have people who count on me. | 有人需要我依赖我 |
| [15:49] | I’ve built a life here. | 我在这里建立了自己的生活 |
| [15:51] | Damn it. | 真是作死 |
| [15:53] | Max, you know I can’t leave my firm in LA. | 麦克斯 你知道我不能丢下我在洛城的事务所 |
| [15:59] | So what happens now? | 所以现在是怎样 |
| [16:02] | I think we kiss good-bye. | 我们唯有吻别了 |
| [16:11] | Hmm, I think that might set us back. | 不行 干柴烈火一吻就着 |
| [16:12] | I mean, you’re already in a bed, | 你已经躺在床上 |
| [16:15] | and these pants come off real easy. | 而且这裤子超容易脱 |
| [16:16] | I think you know that. | 你应该知道这一点啊 |
| [16:17] | Oh, yeah. I forgot. | 是啊 我刚忘了 |
| [16:19] | How about a hug? | 那抱一个怎么样 |
| [16:25] | You really trust yourself against the girls? | 你真的相信自己能抵挡住咪咪的诱惑吗 |
| [16:28] | Not even remotely. | 远程视频时都抵挡不住 |
| [16:31] | How about a handshake? | 那握个手怎么样 |
| [16:32] | There’s nothing less sexual. | 这完全不会勾起任何性欲 |
| [16:34] | Okay, but two pumps and we’re out. | 好吧 来两发就松手哦 |
| [16:37] | I can’t not make it sexual. | 我没有办法不联想到性 |
| [16:45] | You smell nice. | 你闻起来香香的 |
| [16:47] | I’ve got a lot of jerky in my pocket. | 我口袋里有很多牛肉干 |
| [16:52] | Good news is, | 好消息是 |
| [16:54] | I saved a man’s life. | 我刚救了一个男人的命 |
| [16:56] | Bad news is, | 坏消息是 |
| [16:57] | I left a ring inside him. | 我把一枚戒指落他身体里了 |
| [17:04] | Here’s your flan-tini | 你的果冻马天尼 |
| [17:06] | and a side of a bottle of tequila. | 还有一份一瓶量的龙舌兰酒 |
| [17:10] | Why are you so sad, Caroline? | 你干嘛哭丧着脸 卡洛琳 |
| [17:12] | I mean, she doesn’t have kids. | 我是说 她又没有孩子 |
| [17:15] | Well, I did like this guy Bobby, | 我挺喜欢那个叫鲍比的 |
| [17:17] | but then I had to go with Max to see Randy, | 可我又不得不陪麦克斯去看兰迪 |
| [17:19] | and I got squirted on, | 然后我被人喷了一身 |
| [17:21] | and I didn’t get back in time to see him | 没有办法及时赶回来见他 |
| [17:22] | and possibly missed a chance at a lifetime of happiness. | 很可能就此错过幸福一生的机会 |
| [17:25] | Too much talking from the waitress. | 这个服务员话也太多了吧 |
| [17:31] | Uh, ladies, | 女士们 |
| [17:31] | are all of the daddies still in the picture? | 你们跟孩子的爹都离婚了吗 |
| [17:35] | ‘Cause I can’t shimmy down a fire escape | 因为要是被抓奸 我可爬不动防火梯 |
| [17:37] | like I used to. | 没当年那么麻溜了 |
| [17:39] | That’s so funny. | 你真搞笑 |
| [17:40] | If my doorman drops out of the rotation, | 如果我的门卫不”干”了 |
| [17:42] | I’ll give you a call. | 我会给你打电话 |
| [17:44] | Uh, let me give you my beeper number. | 那我先把我的BB机号码给你 |
| [17:48] | Yep! | 没错 |
| [17:49] | I’m really having a blast with my mom friends. | 我跟我的妈妈帮玩得很开心 |
| [17:53] | Do you have an aspirin, or a sledgehammer? | 你们有止痛药或大锤子吗 |
| [17:57] | Why do you want to hang out with these ladies? | 为什么你会想跟这些女人玩 |
| [17:59] | They’re mean. | 她们太毒了 |
| [18:00] | One of them tried to trip me. | 她们刚才有人想绊倒我 |
| [18:02] | Yeah, that was me. | 对 那是我 |
| [18:05] | Yeah, I–I was trying to impress them. | 我是为了博取她们的好感 |
| [18:07] | Sophie, I wished my mom cared enough about me | 苏菲 我希望我妈当时能多关心我 |
| [18:09] | to curl my baby eyelashes | 帮我夹夹我的小睫毛 |
| [18:11] | like you do for Barbara. | 就像你帮芭芭拉那样 |
| [18:13] | Or just to intervene | 或是出手阻止 |
| [18:14] | when a neighborhood dog took me away. | 邻居家的恶狗把我叼走 |
| [18:17] | Sophie, | 苏菲 |
| [18:18] | your text wasn’t clear. | 你的短信没说清 |
| [18:19] | Should Barbara wear the leopard onesie with the jean hat | 芭芭拉是该穿豹纹连体衣配牛仔帽 |
| [18:22] | or the jean onesie with the leopard hat? | 还是牛仔连体衣配豹纹帽 |
| [18:25] | Also, I can’t find any of her toe rings. | 对了 她的趾环我全找不到啊 |
| [18:28] | Sophie, are you secretly caring for your baby | 苏菲 你是在跟我们妈妈帮聚会的时候 |
| [18:31] | while we’re having mom’s group? | 偷偷关心自己的宝宝吗 |
| [18:34] | You know what? Fine. | 算了 是啦 |
| [18:36] | Fine, I love my kid. | 我爱我的孩子 |
| [18:38] | Well, why don’t you marry her? | 那你干脆娶了她得了 |
| [18:40] | Should I? | 我该吗 |
| [18:42] | No. | 不可以 |
| [18:43] | No, ’cause I’m a good mom, | 不行 因为我是个好妈妈 |
| [18:45] | and a good mom doesn’t marry her baby! | 好妈妈才不会娶自己的孩子 |
| [18:48] | At least not in this country. | 至少不会在这个国家娶 |
| [18:51] | Let’s go, baby. | 走吧 宝贝 |
| [18:57] | Well, Meghan’s dog walker gave her some cat tranquilizers. | 帮梅根遛狗的人给了她点猫的镇静剂 |
| [19:01] | Why don’t we go try those in the Target parking lot? | 不如我们去商场的停车场试试”药劲” |
| [19:05] | Ugh, I can’t wait to be a mom | 我真是迫不及待相当妈 |
| [19:06] | so I can get the good cat tranqs. | 这样我就能搞到上好的猫镇静剂 |
| [19:10] | You know they didn’t pay, right? | 你知道她们没付钱 对吧 |
| [19:14] | Hey, uh…sorry to barge in, | 抱歉闯进来 |
| [19:17] | but I can’t stop thinking about– | 但我忍不住想… |
| [19:19] | Her boo-tay? | 她的小翘臀吗 |
| [19:22] | Uh, well, that table is really unsteady. | 那张桌子超级不稳 |
| [19:25] | If my boss knew, | 如果我老板知道了 |
| [19:26] | I’d be furious. | 我肯定会气死的 |
| [19:28] | I know, right? | 就是说嘛 |
| [19:29] | I thought it was just me, | 我以为只有我这么觉得呢 |
| [19:30] | but I mean, look at it, I– | 但我是说 你自己看嘛 |
| [19:32] | – Yeah. – Yeah. | -对啊 -没错 |
| [19:33] | I mean… | 我是说 |
| [19:37] | Rock steady. | 稳如泰山 |
| [19:38] | Perfect, actually. | 完美到不行 |
| [19:40] | Damn it. | 他妈的 |
| [19:42] | You can’t think of anything else that needs to be fixed? | 你想不到其他什么东西需要修理吗 |
| [19:44] | No, and it’s really annoying. | 想不到 这真的很烦 |
| [19:46] | You know what else is annoying? | 你们知道还有什么很烦吗 |
| [19:48] | You two not jammin’. | 你们俩还没搞上 |
| [19:51] | You like each other. What’s the problem? | 你们俩相互喜欢 还有什么问题吗 |
| [19:54] | – So you like me? – Yeah. | -你喜欢我吗 -对 |
| [19:55] | – Okay, so I should call– – Yes. | -好 那我应该打给… -对 |
| [19:56] | Good, ’cause I was this close to calling my cousins | 那好 我差点就打给我家亲戚 |
| [19:58] | to come in and tear this place apart. | 让他们来把这地方砸了 |
| [20:00] | – I’m gonna call you. – Ciao mein. | -我会打给你的 -再会 炒面 |
| [20:02] | – What? – Nothing. | -什么 -没事 |
| [20:07] | Wow, look at you. | 瞧瞧你 |
| [20:08] | I’m gonna have to put the brakes on that | 看来电影《40岁的老处男》续集 |
| [20:10] | 40-Year-Old-Virgin sequel. | 《40岁的老处女》得先暂停了 |
| [20:12] | I’m sorry I’m happy when you’re not happy. | 很抱歉我在你不开心时开心 |
| [20:14] | I am happy… | 我开心啊 |
| [20:16] | for you. | 为你开心 |
| [20:17] | I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, | 我知道你说过你不想说这事 |
| [20:19] | but why don’t you just go to LA to be with Randy? | 但为什么你不去洛城跟兰迪在一起呢 |
| [20:23] | I can’t go to LA. | 我不能去洛城 |
| [20:25] | I mean, there’s too much stuff here | 这里有很多东西 |
| [20:28] | they don’t have there, like… | 那里没有 比如说 |
| [20:29] | the Statue of Liberty. | 自由女神像 |
| [20:31] | You know she’s my girl. | 你知道她是我马子 |
| [20:33] | You never want to go. | 你从来都不想去好吗 |
| [20:35] | And she invited us when she said, | 而且人家还邀请过咱们 她说 |
| [20:36] | “Bring us your poor.” | “带贫穷过来” |
| [20:36] | 源自自由女神像下刻的一首诗 原句是”Give me your tired, your poor” | |
| [20:38] | Plus, where would I find weed in California? | 再说了 我在加州去哪里找大麻呀 |
| [20:41] | I mean, the list goes on and on. | 反正理由说都说不完 |
| [20:45] | I wouldn’t leave you either. | 我也不会丢下你 |