| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | I am choosing to take this disaster as a sign, | 我选择将这场灾难当做一个启示 |
| [00:05] | and while they’re rebuilding this place | 在他们重建这里的时候 |
| [00:07] | I’m gonna go surprise Randy and try to rebuild us! | 我要去给兰迪惊喜 重建我们感情 |
| [00:10] | Fine, use my car, | 行吧 开我的车去 |
| [00:12] | but I’m going to be driving it. I’m coming with you. | 但必须是我来驾驶 我要跟你去 |
| [00:15] | I finally got the gas pedal extension where I like it. | 我好不容易才把短腿油门辅助器调到位 |
| [00:18] | I’ll just call AAA. | 我在这等保险公司来拖车就行 |
| [00:20] | Cool. Later, hater. | 那太好啦 再见 拜拜 |
| [00:22] | Wait, you’re really leaving? | 等等 你们真的一走了之啊 |
| [00:23] | Who leaves someone on the side of the road | 什么人会把别人就这么丢在 |
| [00:25] | in the middle of nowhere? | 荒郊野岭的路边啊 |
| [00:27] | My friend, Sloppy Joe, has a one-engine plane. | 但是我的朋友邋遢乔有一台单引擎飞机 |
| [00:30] | He might be able to fly y’all all the way to LA. | 他或许有办法载你们飞去洛杉矶 |
| [00:32] | Well, that’s a wrap on the first day of filming | 我们在奥斯丁 德克萨斯州拍摄的第一天 |
| [00:34] | here in Austin, Texas. | 就到此结束啦 |
| [00:35] | So Randy’s not in Los Angeles? | 等等 所以兰迪不在洛杉矶吗 |
| [00:37] | He’s in Texas? | 他是在德州 |
| [00:39] | Wow, you’re a bad stalker, Max. | 麦克斯 你真是个蹩脚的跟踪狂 |
| [00:41] | There’s two things the Slop won’t do. | 我邋遢平生有两件事不做 |
| [00:43] | Alert the proper authorities of my flight pattern | 告知相关单位我的飞行模式 |
| [00:46] | or step foot in Texas. | 以及踏进德克萨斯州 |
| [00:48] | I’ll drop you here. | 我在这里放你们下 |
| [00:55] | When I agreed to follow you cross-country | 我答应跟你横越全国 |
| [00:58] | to chase your ex-boyfriend, | 去千里寻男友时 |
| [00:59] | I didn’t realize I’d be thrown out of a plane, | 我没想到我会被扔下飞机 |
| [01:02] | scavenging for my belongings | 像拾荒般到处捡我的东西 |
| [01:04] | and fighting a snake for my favorite pants. | 还得跟一条蛇抢我最爱的裤子 |
| [01:08] | You can have them, sir! | 您留着吧 蛇先生 |
| [01:10] | Ah! Found my toothbrush. | 找到我的牙刷啦 |
| [01:14] | Max, that’s disgusting. | 麦克斯 太恶心了吧 |
| [01:16] | Oh, you’re right. This isn’t mine. | 好像是有点恶心 这不是我的 |
| [01:20] | Ah, found a purse… | 找到个包包 |
| [01:22] | Under this syringe. | 上面有根针筒 |
| [01:24] | Anything in there? | 针筒里有东西吗 |
| [01:27] | Nah, pretty tapped out, which is too bad | 基本都空了 真是太倒霉了 |
| [01:29] | ’cause you could use a two-day heroin nap. | 还有剩就能睡一场两天长的海洛因觉了 |
| [01:31] | I meant my bag. | 我是说我包里 |
| [01:33] | Look what else survived! | 你看还有什么幸免于难 |
| [01:35] | My Popchips! | 我的薯片 |
| [01:39] | Only to meet an unfortunate end. | 它在劫难逃的是我的肚子 |
| [01:42] | Oh, no, Max, my wallet. | 惨了 麦克斯 我的钱包 |
| [01:44] | Mm, yeah, I know. | 是啊 是很惨 |
| [01:45] | You’ve aged a lot since that license picture. | 你比驾照那张照片 老了不是一点半点 |
| [01:48] | No, it’s gone. | 是钱包丢了 |
| [01:50] | All of our cash and our credit cards were in there. | 我们所有的现金跟信用卡都在里面呢 |
| [01:53] | What are we gonna do? I’m freaking out. | 我们该怎么办 我要抓狂了 |
| [01:55] | Nah, nah, nah, calm down. | 别别别 先冷静 |
| [01:57] | Caroline will get us out of this. | 卡洛琳会想办法救我们的 |
| [02:00] | Oh, wait. You’re Caroline. | 等等 你就是卡洛琳 |
| [02:02] | I’m calling the diner for help. | 我要打给餐厅求救了 |
| [02:05] | Han… We… have.. | 阿憨… 我… 有… |
| [02:07] | Caroline, we don’t have a good connection, | 卡洛琳 我们信号[关系]不好 |
| [02:10] | and not just because we’re dueling Scorpios. | 不单是因为我们俩天蝎座相冲 |
| [02:13] | Peek-a-boo! | 躲猫猫 |
| [02:14] | I see you! | 我看到你啦 |
| [02:17] | Oleg. | 奥列格 |
| [02:18] | All right, now do it with Barbara. | 好啦 现在跟芭芭拉这么玩吧 |
| [02:26] | Han, we had all of our belongings | 阿憨 我们所有的私人物品 |
| [02:28] | thrown out of a private plane. | 全被从私人飞机上扔下去了 |
| [02:30] | Caroline, you’re cutting out. | 卡洛琳 你的信号断断续续 |
| [02:32] | All I heard was “private plane” brag much? | 我只听见”私人飞机” 你个臭显摆 |
| [02:36] | No, we need to get to Texas, | 不是 我们需要去到德州 |
| [02:38] | so can you please put $500 in my PayPal account? | 你能往我支付宝里打五百块吗 |
| [02:42] | What? You have $500? | 什么 你有五百块吗 |
| [02:45] | Did I call you to gloat when I bought this snazzy new vest? | 我买这件酷炫背心时 有打给你炫耀吗 |
| [02:49] | I’m putting you on speaker. | 我要开免提 |
| [02:51] | Private plane… | 私人飞机… |
| [02:52] | Have…credit card… | 有… 信用卡 |
| [02:56] | We lost her. | 断线了 |
| [02:57] | Or maybe her butler snatched her phone from her. | 或者是她的管家把她电话抢走了 |
| [03:02] | He hung up. | 他挂电话了 |
| [03:03] | Max, can we just go back to that terrible place we call home? | 麦克斯 我们能回去我们称为家的那地狱吗 |
| [03:07] | That mountain lion is wearing my new blouse. | 那只美洲狮在穿我的新衣服了 |
| [03:09] | And here she comes! | 她追来啦 |
| [03:12] | Keep the tags on if you wanna return it. | 你想退钱的话 记得留着吊牌 |
| [03:28] | I’m calling the credit card company | 我要打给信用卡公司 |
| [03:29] | to send us new cards. | 让他们给我们寄新卡 |
| [03:31] | They’re used to hearing me cry. | 他们已经习惯听我哭了 |
| [03:33] | So is the unfortunate family | 我们看《疯狂动物城》时 |
| [03:34] | that sat behind us at “Zootopia.” | 坐后面的一家人也听习惯了 |
| [03:37] | If animals can all get along, so can we. | 连动物间都能当好朋友 我们也行 |
| [03:40] | Look, once we get our cards, | 等我们拿到新卡 |
| [03:41] | we’ll be on our way to Randy in Texas– | 我们就能继续上路去德州找兰迪 |
| [03:43] | and what was in this for me again? | 这整件事对我有啥好处来着呢 |
| [03:46] | 5 1/2 near-death experiences? | 5.5次濒死经验吗 |
| [03:50] | Hi, Visa. It’s me, Caroline. | 信用卡公司 是我 卡洛琳 |
| [03:53] | My cards were stolen. | 我的卡被偷了 |
| [03:58] | I’ve seen backs of vans | 我在一些面包车的后车厢 |
| [04:00] | with better candy selections. | 看过的糖果种类都比你店里好 |
| [04:01] | This is a disgrace to the name Gas and Gobble. | 你们真是丢了”有油又有吃”这店名 |
| [04:05] | How do you even wake up in the morning? | 你每天哪来的动力起床啊 |
| [04:07] | My alligator licks my face. | 被我的鳄鱼舔脸舔醒的 |
| [04:09] | Oh, my God, Max. | 天啊 麦克斯 |
| [04:11] | Whoever stole our credit cards maxed them out. | 偷我们卡的人 把我们卡刷爆了 |
| [04:14] | They spent the $1,500 we had left. | 把我们所剩的1500花完了 |
| [04:17] | No way. | 不是吧 |
| [04:18] | Someone just spent $1,500 on phone cards and cigarettes. | 刚刚才有人花了1500块买手机卡跟香烟 |
| [04:21] | His name was Caroline Channing. | 他的名字叫卡洛琳·钱宁 |
| [04:23] | What? | 什么 |
| [04:24] | That’s my name! | 那是我的名字 |
| [04:26] | Ah, you got a dude’s name. | 你有个男人的名字啊 |
| [04:28] | Ugh, we were robbed. Police! | 我们被抢了 警察叔叔 |
| [04:31] | – Where! – Where! | -哪里 -哪里 |
| [04:33] | Max, I am tired and I’m hungry | 麦克斯 我又累又饿 |
| [04:35] | and I can’t find a mirror, | 而且找不到个镜子 |
| [04:36] | but I am sensing a disturbance in my hair. | 但我感觉到头发部位有”乱流” |
| [04:39] | We have to go home! | 我们得回家了 |
| [04:41] | But we have to go to Texas. | 但我们必须去德州啊 |
| [04:43] | Randy needs me. | 兰迪需要我 |
| [04:44] | He’s saying it on his Snapchat story. | 他在快拍上说了 |
| [04:48] | Still on the movie set. | 还在电影片场 |
| [04:49] | Pretty lonely, so if anyone would respond | 挺寂寞 如果有人愿意 |
| [04:51] | to my Words With Friends request, | 接受我手机拼字游戏的邀请 |
| [04:52] | I promise to let you win, | 我答应放水让你赢 |
| [04:54] | and if you’re ever in Texas… | 如果你来德州了 |
| [04:56] | why? | 何苦啊 |
| [04:59] | See? He’s begging me to come there. | 你看 他在求我去找他 |
| [05:03] | But we have no money to get to Texas. | 但我们没钱去那里啊 |
| [05:05] | Wrong. | 错了 |
| [05:07] | I’ve got $11 in this one | 我这半边里藏了11块 |
| [05:11] | and $32 in this one. | 这边藏了32块 |
| [05:15] | Lefty’s been holding back as per usual. | 左边跟平常一样留了一手 |
| [05:19] | So your 43 boob dollars | 所以你的这43块奶钱 |
| [05:21] | are gonna get us to Texas? | 能让我们去到德州吗 |
| [05:23] | Don’t rule out my roll of butt quarters. | 还有我的菊花硬币呢 |
| [05:25] | Sweaty but ready. | 汗水淋淋但准备就绪 |
| [05:27] | All right, can y’all folks lock up? | 你们能帮忙关店吗 |
| [05:29] | I got to make a riverboat | 我得赶在内河船 |
| [05:30] | before it takes off to New Orleans. | 出发去新奥尔良之前上船 |
| [05:32] | My cousin Tim put a voodoo curse on me. | 我的亲戚蒂姆给我下降头了 |
| [05:33] | I got to talk to him about removing it. | 我得去跟他谈谈 让他帮我解掉 |
| [05:36] | Caroline, | 卡洛琳 |
| [05:37] | New Orleans is close to Texas. | 新奥尔良离德州挺近 |
| [05:40] | The Hamburglar says so on my McDonald’s placemat, | 我的麦当劳桌垫上的汉堡神偷是这么说的 |
| [05:42] | and he would never lie | 他这人从不说谎 |
| [05:43] | unless it’s about stealing delicious hamburgers. | 除非是为了偷好吃的汉堡时才会 |
| [05:47] | I’m confused. Do you want hamburgers | 我有点迷糊了 你是想吃汉堡 |
| [05:49] | or do you wanna take that riverboat? | 还是想去搭内河船 |
| [05:51] | Obviously, the dream scenario is both. | 很明显 最好的情况就是两者皆是 |
| [05:57] | Ah, thank you very much. | 多谢 |
| [05:58] | Max, people have tickets. | 麦克斯 上船要票的 |
| [06:00] | You have to pay to get on this– | 你得付钱才能上这… |
| [06:02] | what I’m positive will be my sixth near-death experience. | 我挺确定会是我第六次濒死经验 |
| [06:05] | So bend over and unclench. | 转身弯腰 松开菊花 |
| [06:07] | We need those butt quarters. | 你的菊花硬币也得用上 |
| [06:09] | Who are you? My mother at a church carnival? | 你是带我去参加教堂嘉年华时的我妈吗 |
| [06:13] | Have your tickets ready, please. | 请准备好您的船票 |
| [06:15] | All we have to do is act like we belong. | 我们表现得不突兀就行了 |
| [06:18] | Do I at least get to have an adorable Southern accent? | 那我能装出我可爱的南方口音吗 |
| [06:21] | No accent. | 不许装口音 |
| [06:22] | Well, I do declare | 我表四 |
| [06:24] | that is mighty disappointing. | 这真素太令人苏望啦 |
| [06:27] | Just follow my lead. It’s time to touch strangers. | 学着点 是时候对陌生人伸魔爪啦 |
| [06:31] | Hey, you got a permit for those guns? | 你的双枪[二头肌]有持枪证吗 |
| [06:36] | Well, I say, | 我说 |
| [06:39] | you got a permit for | 你有许可证… |
| [06:40] | that light-up yo-yo? | 来携带那发光溜溜球吗 |
| [06:43] | I have a girlfriend. | 我有女朋友了 |
| [06:46] | Keep walking, buster. | 少废话 臭小鬼 |
| [06:55] | Max, the riverboat doesn’t get to New Orleans for two days | 麦克斯 这船到新奥尔良要两天呢 |
| [06:57] | and we have nowhere to sleep. | 我们没地方睡啊 |
| [06:59] | Ooh, but there is | 但是这船上有 |
| [07:00] | a “Whittle Your Own Banj” workshop at 5:00. | “自己做斑鸠琴”课 在五点 |
| [07:03] | I have whittle-to-no interest in that. | 我对这”班就”一点兴趣都没有 |
| [07:06] | Ooh, it says they have the loosest slots around. | 上面写这里有最好赢的老虎机[最荡的妞] |
| [07:08] | I guess the Darby sisters from my hometown are here. | 看来我老家的浪货达比姐妹也在船上 |
| [07:11] | I did see a bunch of lounge chairs | 我看到那边的沼泽展览区 |
| [07:13] | over by the swamp exhibit. | 有不少躺椅 |
| [07:14] | I guess we could sleep there tonight, | 我猜我们今晚可以试着在那里睡 |
| [07:16] | and then the next night, | 至于明天晚上呢 |
| [07:17] | well, hopefully we’ll be dead. | 好运的话 到时候我们已经死了呢 |
| [07:19] | Come on, red! | 来吧 红 |
| [07:21] | Max, no! That’s all of our money! | 麦克斯 不可以 这是我们所有的钱 |
| [07:22] | No more bets. | 停止下注 |
| [07:24] | Oh, that is so stupid, | 这太蠢了 |
| [07:25] | and not cute stupid like | 而且不是像上次 |
| [07:27] | when you thought Velcro grew in nature. | 你以为尼龙搭扣是大自然产生的那种蠢萌 |
| [07:29] | And red is the winner. | 红色赢 |
| [07:31] | Well, rootin’ tootin’! | 哎哟喂 |
| [07:33] | I always bet on red because my last name’s Black, | 永远赌红色 因为我的姓是布莱克[黑] |
| [07:36] | and that’s ah-not been a winner. | 而我从来就不是一位赢家 |
| [07:38] | Okay, now that we’ve doubled our money, | 现在我们的钱变双倍了 |
| [07:40] | – maybe we should stop. – Come on, red! | -或许该收手了 -来吧 红色 |
| [07:42] | – No more bets. – No! | -停止下注 -不要啊 |
| [07:44] | I didn’t even get to touch it before you lost it. | 你输光前我都还没来得及摸摸它们呢 |
| [07:46] | Why do you hate having things? | 你为什么要拒绝拥有呢 |
| [07:48] | Red again. | 红色连庄 |
| [07:50] | Just call me Al Roker ’cause I’m making it rain. | 请叫我雨神 因为要下钱雨啦 |
| [07:53] | Max, we’re winning at something. | 麦克斯 我们居然在某事上能赢 |
| [07:57] | Don’t just stand there looking pretty, toots. | 别光站着像个花瓶啊 小美人 |
| [07:59] | Order daddy some wings. | 给干爹点几个鸡翅膀 |
| [08:01] | Oh, my God, I look pretty | 天啊 我像个花瓶吗 |
| [08:03] | and I get to flag down a waitress. | 而且还能伸手叫服务员来 |
| [08:06] | Waitress! | 服务员 |
| [08:08] | I’ll have a sarsaparilla | 我要来一杯沙士 |
| [08:09] | and some wings for big daddy. | 然后一些鸡翅膀给我的干爹 |
| [08:12] | Sophie’s calling. | 苏菲打来了 |
| [08:14] | Pfft, like I’m gonna get it. | 老娘怎么可能接 |
| [08:19] | Well, Caroline’s not answering. | 卡洛琳不接电话 |
| [08:21] | Executive decision. | 行政决策 |
| [08:23] | Horses can eat a bunch of pudding. | 马可以吃布丁 |
| [08:26] | My cousin from Chernobyl had a dog this size. | 我切尔诺贝利的表亲有只这大小的狗 |
| [08:29] | He had three legs. | 他有三条腿 |
| [08:30] | My cousin, not the dog. | 我是说我表亲 不是那条狗 |
| [08:33] | Something good did come out of Chernobyl. | 切尔诺贝利事件还是有好的一面嘛 |
| [08:37] | Excuse me? | 不好意思 |
| [08:38] | How much do you charge for pictures with him? | 跟他拍照要多少钱呢 |
| [08:40] | Oh, it depends. | 得看情况了 |
| [08:42] | How nude do you want him? | 你想要他裸露到什么程度 |
| [08:46] | We mean for our kids… | 我是说我们的孩子… |
| [08:48] | with the horse. | 跟马拍照 |
| [08:49] | I don’t think the “Ew” was necessary. | 不需要发出”恶”的声音吧 |
| [08:53] | You don’t know what you’re missing. | 你完全不知道你错过了什么好料 |
| [08:56] | I mean, we’re just walking him for our friend. | 我们只是帮忙朋友遛个马 |
| [08:58] | We’ll give you $10 each. | 一个孩子十块钱 |
| [08:59] | Sold to the woman who… | 中标的是这位 |
| [09:01] | “doesn’t” wanna see me naked. | “不愿”看到我裸体的女士 |
| [09:12] | Come on, 18! | 来吧 18 |
| [09:14] | Which is also the title of my adult film debut. | 这数字也是我出道的那部成人片名 |
| [09:17] | Mine would have been called, | 拿我的那部估计会取 |
| [09:18] | “Might As Well, I’m 24” | “拍又何妨 都24岁了” |
| [09:21] | Excuse me, Mr. Moustache? | 抱歉 胡子先生 |
| [09:23] | Could you stop feeling my ankle with your toes? | 你能别用你的脚趾骚扰我的脚踝了吗 |
| [09:27] | I guess that’s a no. | 看来是不愿意 |
| [09:30] | Oh, 18 winner. | 18号 赢 |
| [09:32] | We won! I’m rich! | 我们赢啦 我有钱啦 |
| [09:34] | Now you have no shot with me. | 现在你跟老娘没戏了 |
| [09:35] | Stay close, sweet cakes. You’re good luck. | 别走远 小宝贝 你是幸运女神 |
| [09:38] | Here, buddy. Buy yourself some new sandals, | 给 兄弟 给你自己买双新拖鞋 |
| [09:40] | and a round of mouthwash for the table. | 再请在座各位来杯漱口水 |
| [09:43] | All right, place your bets. | 好啦 请下注 |
| [09:45] | I placed mine on a liberal arts degree. | 我当年下注到了人文科学学位 |
| [09:48] | That’s why I’m here. | 所以才沦落至此 |
| [09:49] | Let it ride. | 上啊 |
| [09:51] | Max, maybe we should quit while we’re ahead | 麦克斯 或许我们该见好就收 |
| [09:53] | since we’ve never been before. | 毕竟咱们从来没”好”过 |
| [09:54] | Aren’t you worried that we might… | 难道你就不担心我们会… |
| [09:56] | 18 again! | 18号连庄 |
| [09:57] | Keep winning and never die! | 赢个不停 死都死不了吗 |
| [10:00] | Let’s go with four. | 这次下4吧 |
| [10:01] | The number of men who have flashed me | 是打从我上了这艘船 |
| [10:03] | since I’ve been on this riverboat. | 暴露狂露鸟给我看的次数 |
| [10:06] | Lucky four! | 幸运4号 |
| [10:08] | No more bets. | 下好离手 |
| [10:13] | Who’s driving this thing? | 谁开的船啊 |
| [10:14] | Gary Busey? | 加里·布希吗 |
| [10:16] | Oh, four. No winners. | 4号 没有赢家 |
| [10:19] | Yes, winners. We had four, | 有赢家啊 我们下的4号 |
| [10:21] | but then the boat moved our chips. | 但船刚才害我们的筹码移动了 |
| [10:22] | Yeah, and it also spilled my soda. | 还害我的汽水撒了呢 |
| [10:24] | So like I said: No winners. | 就像我所说的 没有赢家 |
| [10:27] | Sure, we lost all our money, | 好吧 我们输光了所有钱 |
| [10:28] | but at least you got to see some dongs. | 可至少你看了好几个人的鸟啊 |
| [10:34] | Hey, Sophie, it’s me Car–ah! | 苏菲 是我卡… |
| [10:37] | I fall for her… | 我每次都被她 |
| [10:38] | “Hello, this is Sophi” | “安安 我是苏菲” |
| [10:39] | outgoing message every time. | 那条电话录音给骗了 |
| [10:42] | We need them to send that money. | 我们得让他们赶紧转钱过来 |
| [10:45] | Oh, thank God. Hi, Sophie, it’s– | 谢天谢地 苏菲 我是… |
| [10:49] | What’s going on here? | 这是什么情况 |
| [10:51] | Are you selling pony rides with Chestnut? | 你们是在出卖栗宝的肉体让人骑吗 |
| [10:54] | Yes, but you got to wait in line with the other kids. | 是的 但你也得跟其他孩子一样排队 |
| [10:57] | No, you don’t, buddy. | 不 你不用 伙计 |
| [10:59] | Up you go, champ. | 我抱你上马吧 |
| [11:02] | Get your hands off me! | 放我下来 |
| [11:04] | I don’t want my picture taken! | 人家不想拍照 |
| [11:07] | Right now. | 暂时不想 |
| [11:10] | The girls asked me to make sure you’re feeding him, | 姑娘们让我确保栗宝不会饿肚子 |
| [11:12] | and here you are pimping him out like… | 而你们却当起了皮条客 让他出来卖就像… |
| [11:15] | this isn’t my wheelhouse. | 这不是我的专业范畴 |
| [11:17] | Famous pimps, anyone? | 有人认识著名的皮条客吗 |
| [11:19] | What? | 什么 |
| [11:20] | How dare they not trust us. | 她们俩居然敢不相信我们 |
| [11:23] | This stops now! | 这事就此打住 |
| [11:25] | Unless your boy, Han, | 除非你的小兄弟阿憨 |
| [11:27] | gets a little taste of the horse-play. | 能在这场”马戏”中拿到一点甜头 |
| [11:30] | Here. | 拿去 |
| [11:33] | What’s going on here? | 这是什么情况 |
| [11:35] | Nothing. | 没情况 |
| [11:36] | I know a shady deal when I see one. | 我一眼就能看出见不得人的勾当 |
| [11:38] | I was one of the loudest voices against the Louisiana Purchase. | 我可是当时对路易斯安娜购地案反对声最大的人之一啊 |
| [11:38] | 1803年美国政府从法国手中购买了超过214万平方公里的土地 将美国的面积拓展了一倍 当时此举曾遭到许多人的反对 | |
| [11:43] | Earl, what are you even doing here? | 厄尔 你跑来这里干什么 |
| [11:45] | I thought you lived at the diner. | 我以为你的活动范围仅限餐厅呢 |
| [11:46] | Well, thank God the girls asked me to check on Han | 还好姑娘们让阿憨监督你们的同时 |
| [11:49] | checking on you too | 让我监督阿憨 |
| [11:50] | ’cause now this black male | 因为现在这位黑人老兄 |
| [11:52] | is about to blackmail you. | 准备黑心地敲诈你们了 |
| [11:55] | Okay, Earl’s in too. | 好吧 厄尔也分一份 |
| [11:57] | At a lesser percentage because odds are | 但他的分成少点 因为可能等下 |
| [11:59] | he’ll forget about all of this momentarily. | 他就会忘掉这里发生的一切 |
| [12:03] | Excuse me, manager. | 麻烦过来一下 经理 |
| [12:05] | We’ve been wronged, | 我们受到不公正的对待 |
| [12:06] | and not just generally by life. | 不仅仅是我们的日常生活 |
| [12:08] | I don’t know who to complain to about that. | 我都不知道那该跟谁投诉了 |
| [12:10] | Is there a problem over here? | 请问有什么问题吗 |
| [12:12] | I’m the pit boss. | 我是赌场经理 |
| [12:13] | I also do the mentalist show | 也是总统刺客舞厅 |
| [12:15] | in the John Wilkes Booth Ballroom. | 心灵感应秀的主持人 |
| [12:17] | Still lots of tickets available. | 演出还有很多票哦 |
| [12:19] | Yes, there’s a problem here. | 是的 的确出了点问题 |
| [12:20] | We just got cheated out of our winnings, | 我们赌桌上赢来的钱都被骗走了 |
| [12:22] | and I was already cheated out of much of my 20s, | 我20多岁的人生中已经被夺走很多东西了 |
| [12:25] | but again, probably not your department. | 但那可能不在你的管辖范围 |
| [12:28] | Why don’t I send a complimentary bottle of champagne | 不如我免费赠送你们一瓶香槟作为赔礼 |
| [12:30] | to your room? | 送到你们房间可好 |
| [12:31] | And by “champagne” I mean wine, | 我说的”香槟”是红酒 |
| [12:33] | and by “bottle” I mean box. | “一瓶”是指一盒 |
| [12:35] | Uh, you know what? We’ll take it here. | 不劳烦了 我们在这里喝吧 |
| [12:37] | Would there happen to be a 7 Eleven Merlot? | 不会恰好是便利店的盒装垃圾红酒吧 |
| [12:41] | Max, wine in our room sounds so much better. | 麦克斯 在房间里喝红酒听上去惬意多了 |
| [12:43] | We can relax and focus on each other for once. | 我们可以放轻松 沉浸在两人世界里 |
| [12:46] | Mm, great. What’s the room number? | 太好了 你们房间号是多少 |
| [12:51] | I think she means oh-six. | 她是想说06号 |
| [12:55] | I don’t think so. | 我不这么认为 |
| [12:56] | That room is still an active crime scene. | 那房间现在还是封锁的犯罪现场呢 |
| [12:59] | Stowaways, huh? | 逃票上船的吧 |
| [13:00] | I’ll have the Coast Guard come and pick you up. | 我马上叫海岸警卫队来抓你们 |
| [13:03] | They’re already coming for that guy. | 他们刚去抓那家伙 |
| [13:04] | I didn’t wanna strip my clothes off | 不是我自己要扒光衣服 |
| [13:06] | and try to drive the boat. | 去开这艘船的 |
| [13:07] | It was that voodoo curse. | 我是被人下降头了 |
| [13:08] | Damn you, Tim! | 都怪你 蒂姆 |
| [13:11] | Look, dude, if you’re really a mentalist, | 听着 兄弟 如果你真会心灵感应 |
| [13:13] | you’ll know that I need to get to Texas to see my boyfriend. | 你就会知道我真的得去德州见我男朋友 |
| [13:18] | I can tell that you’re telling the truth. | 我感应到你说的是实话 |
| [13:20] | Please, there has got to be a way we can work something out. | 求你了 肯定有办法能解决 |
| [13:23] | We’ll do anything. | 我们什么都愿意做 |
| [13:24] | Well, she will. I’ll do over the shirt stuff. | 她啥都愿意 我只做保留上衣蹭的那种 |
| [13:27] | Your shirt. | 蹭你的”上衣” |
| [13:28] | If you take off that hat. | 前提是你把帽子脱掉 |
| [13:36] | Is there anywhere in the world | 这世界上有没有一个地方 |
| [13:38] | where I don’t have to be a waitress? | 可以让我摆脱服务员这个职业 |
| [13:41] | Hooters? | 波霸餐厅 |
| [13:44] | Thanks. | 多谢安慰 |
| [13:51] | I’m a cocktail waitress on the Mississippi River. | 老娘是密西西比河上的鸡尾酒服务员 |
| [13:55] | This is a worse vacation | 真是超级悲催 |
| [13:56] | than the one with Ed Helms in it. | 比有艾德·赫尔姆斯的假期还惨 |
| [13:59] | Sorry, sir. | 抱歉 先生 |
| [14:00] | Looking for some cell service. | 想找个手机信号好的地方 |
| [14:02] | Hey, why don’t I sit in your lap and you can drive me around? | 不如我坐你大腿 你带我四处转转如何 |
| [14:04] | Two birds, one stone? | 一举两得哦 |
| [14:09] | I wasn’t that attracted to you anyway. | 老娘也没那么稀罕你好吗 |
| [14:12] | I’m gonna go try to find some reception. | 我要去找个有手机信号的地方 |
| [14:14] | Seeing Randy miserable is the only thing | 看到兰迪惨兮兮是现在唯一 |
| [14:16] | that’ll cheer me up right now. | 能让我乐呵呵的事情 |
| [14:18] | Maybe he’s crying. | 没准他在哭鼻子呢 |
| [14:21] | One vodka for the gentleman with the neck tattoo, | 一杯伏特加给脖子有纹身的男士 |
| [14:25] | and two vodkas for the lady | 两杯伏特加是给这位女士 |
| [14:27] | who’s into that sort of thing. | 一看你就好他那口 |
| [14:31] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [14:32] | Your catfish tower’s on its way. | 你的鲶鱼沙拉塔马上就来 |
| [14:34] | It takes two to carry the cocktail sauce lagoon. | 各种酱料需要两个人才搬得动 |
| [14:40] | Everything on double-zero. | 全压00 |
| [14:41] | Which has to be the Yelp rating of this boat. | 这艘船在点评网上的评分肯定也是这数 |
| [14:44] | Excuse me? | 麻烦一下 |
| [14:45] | Could I get a white wine spritzer? | 能给我来杯白葡萄汽酒吗 |
| [14:48] | Oh, come on, Vera. We share a locker. | 别这样嘛 薇拉 我们共用一个置物柜呢 |
| [14:51] | Oh, double-zero. | 开 00 |
| [14:53] | Winner. | 赢家 |
| [14:53] | Yes, I’m a winner again! | 太棒了 我又成为赢家了 |
| [14:55] | Suck it, river people. | 服不服 船客们 |
| [14:57] | What is going on over here? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [14:59] | Employees are not allowed to gamble. | 员工不允许参加赌博 |
| [15:01] | Or, as of last week, sexually harass each other. | 或性骚扰其他员工 上周刚出的条例 |
| [15:04] | Thanks a lot, Craig. | 你的”功劳”啊 克雷格 |
| [15:08] | Poindexter in the radio room | 无线电室的波因德克斯特 |
| [15:10] | wouldn’t let me use the satellite phone. | 死都不让我用卫星电话 |
| [15:12] | Also, I broke your satellite phone. | 对了 我把你的卫星电话弄坏了 |
| [15:14] | That is it. You’re fired. | 真是够了 你们被解雇了 |
| [15:16] | That’s the worst news I’ve heard | 这是自”你们被录用了”后 |
| [15:18] | since you said “You’re hired.” | 我听到最”糟糕”的消息了 |
| [15:20] | There’s a tug coming to swap out the toilet tanks. | 有艘拖船要来换厕所排泄物 |
| [15:23] | I am putting you two on it. | 我要把你俩扔上去 |
| [15:25] | As captains? | 去当船长吗 |
| [15:26] | Or should I say, crap-tains? | 或是我该说 屎长 |
| [15:31] | Hey, everybody! | 大家安安 |
| [15:35] | I got spinning wheels for Barbara’s carriage. | 我给芭芭拉的婴儿车换上了旋转轮毂 |
| [15:39] | Now’s it’s not just her attitude that’s gangster. | 现在匪气十足的可不止她的脾气了 |
| [15:44] | Uh… can y’all keep it down, please? | 拜托 你们能不能小声点 |
| [15:47] | I’m trying to set up my new wireless headphones. | 我在试着弄我的新无线耳机呢 |
| [15:50] | Gonna make my WalkMan sound amazing. | 我要让我的随身听音质变牛逼 |
| [15:53] | This is ridiculous. | 真是太荒谬了 |
| [15:55] | I’m trying to keep things on the down-low, | 我一直试图保持低调 |
| [15:57] | and you three went on the biggest shopping spree | 而你们仨却跑去大肆挥霍疯狂购物 |
| [16:00] | since Ellen at a Men’s Wearhouse sale. | 就像主持人艾伦去男装连锁店一样 |
| [16:03] | Oh, wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [16:05] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [16:06] | Han, why are you taller than the counter? | 阿憨 你怎么会比柜台还高 |
| [16:11] | Just been eating right and getting enough sleep. | 因为我饮食恰当 睡眠充足 |
| [16:16] | Yeah, something’s weird. | 是啊 有古怪 |
| [16:18] | You’re almost the height of an adult penguin. | 你跟一只成年企鹅差不多高 |
| [16:21] | Fine! I treated myself to lifts. | 好啦 我给自己买了内增高 |
| [16:25] | I was sick of being nose to butt with everyone on the subway. | 我受够在地铁上鼻子贴别人屁股的窘境 |
| [16:29] | Check out Caroline’s Instagram. | 快看卡洛琳的图片分享网 |
| [16:31] | Looks like they’re in more trouble than I was | 貌似她们这次真的有大麻烦 |
| [16:33] | the last time I tried to put on overalls. | 比我上次想穿上工装裤还麻烦 |
| [16:36] | Ooh, they’re on a tugboat filled with toilets, | 她们在一艘都是移动式厕所的拖船上 |
| [16:39] | and she writes, “Help. | 她写道”救我 |
| [16:41] | Please send money.” | 拜托快转钱” |
| [16:44] | So… | 我该… |
| [16:45] | quick unfollow? | 快速取消关注吗 |
| [16:47] | Or sleep on it and pow-wow in the morning? | 或者考虑一晚 明天一早帮她们祈祷 |
| [16:51] | No. We have to help them. | 不 我们必须救她们 |
| [16:53] | I lost the cord to these headphones anyway. | 反正我耳机的线也弄丢了 |
| [17:00] | Oh, still got toilet boat legs. | 还在晕厕所船呢 |
| [17:04] | Ugh, this place reeks of bait. | 这地方散发着一股恶臭 |
| [17:07] | Oh, no, wait. That was me. My mouth was open. | 不 等等 是我自己 我嘴巴张着呢 |
| [17:10] | More importantly, | 更重要的是 |
| [17:11] | I finally have enough bars on my phone | 我手机终于有信号了 |
| [17:13] | to stalk Randy on Snapchat. | 可以上网追踪兰迪了 |
| [17:15] | Oh, great! All of our problems are solved, | 真棒 我们所有问题都解决了 |
| [17:18] | except for food, money, and a place to sleep. | 除了没食物没钱 连睡觉的地方都没有之外 |
| [17:20] | So negative. | 好负能量哦 |
| [17:22] | Have you not seen the sneeze-guard-less | 你难道没看见这无人看守的 |
| [17:25] | bait shop salad bar? | 鱼饵店沙拉吧吗 |
| [17:27] | Speaking of pathetic, | 说到可悲 |
| [17:29] | let me just check in on poor Randy. | 让我先看看我们家可怜的兰迪 |
| [17:32] | Just another lonely night here in Texas… | 又是一个在德州的孤独夜 |
| [17:34] | with all my new best friends! | 跟我的一帮新朋友共度 |
| [17:39] | Hey! I was up next for Twister! | 扭扭乐该轮到我了 不许插队 |
| [17:41] | Classic Jake. | 杰克真贱 |
| [17:45] | I’m sure he’s just putting on a happy face. | 我确定他只是强颜欢笑 |
| [17:48] | That’s obviously the only way to handle Jake. | 不然哪里忍受得了杰克这种人 |
| [17:51] | Deep down, I can tell he’s genuinely upset. | 我能看出他内心深处其实真的很难过 |
| [17:54] | I’m just genuinely happy right now. | 我现在真的很开心 |
| [17:59] | Ugh, this salad bar stinks. | 这沙拉吧臭死了 |
| [18:03] | No, wait. That’s me again. | 不 等等 还是我自己的味道 |
| [18:06] | Oh, my God, Max! | 天啊 麦克斯 |
| [18:08] | The diner people put money in our PayPal account! | 餐厅的人把钱转到我们的支付宝账户了 |
| [18:11] | They say it’s from Chestnut, | 他们说是栗宝给的 |
| [18:12] | but he’s not allowed on the Internet when we’re not home. | 但我们不在家 他是不准上网的啊 |
| [18:16] | I can’t believe it. | 真是难以置信 |
| [18:17] | Me neither. | 我也是 |
| [18:19] | The diner people are all we have in this world. | 在这世界上 我们穷得只剩餐厅这帮人 |
| [18:21] | And I used to have a closet just for scarves. | 想当初我富的时候 有个专门放丝巾的衣橱呢 |
| [18:24] | No! That Randy’s happy without me. | 不 是没有我兰迪照样开心 |
| [18:27] | What am I doing? | 我这是干什么 |
| [18:28] | I’m dragging you all over the country | 我拖着你跑遍整个国家 |
| [18:30] | after some guy who isn’t even interested in me anymore. | 就为了某个对我不再感兴趣的家伙 |
| [18:32] | This is my worst idea since I told DeNiro to stick to comedy. | 这是我告诉德尼罗坚持演喜剧后最糟糕的主意 |
| [18:32] | 罗伯特·德尼罗 好莱坞著名实力派老男星 后来演出的喜剧褒贬不一 | |
| [18:36] | So, what are you saying? | 你想说什么 |
| [18:38] | I’m saying this is a mistake. | 我想说 这是一个错误 |
| [18:39] | Let’s just go home like you said | 我们还是按你之前 |
| [18:41] | after that hyena knocked you to the ground | 被土狼撞倒在地试图侵犯你时 |
| [18:42] | and tried to hump you. | 所说的那样 回家吧 |
| [18:46] | Can I get $12 on number four? | 4号位加12块钱油 |
| [18:49] | And on which aisle can I find tucking tape? | 哪条通道有卖能黏鸡鸡的胶带 |
| [18:57] | Okay, I will just have these Slim Jims and a Ho-Ho. | 好吧 那我就买点牛肉棒和巧克力蛋糕吧 |
| [19:00] | It’s not like I have to fit into couture today. | 反正我今天也不用把自己硬塞进时装里 |
| [19:08] | – Stop hitting me. – Stop hitting me! | -不许打我 -不许打我 |
| [19:10] | Girls, stop fighting. | 姑娘们 别打了 |
| [19:13] | I hate to see women fighting each other. | 我讨厌看见女人打架 |
| [19:16] | Well, unless, of course, it’s Hoda and Kathie Lee | 当然 除非是霍达和凯西·李 |
| [19:18] | over the last glass of chardonnay. | 为了最后一杯白葡萄酒大打出手 |
| [19:22] | That’s RuPaul! | 是鲁保罗 |
| [19:24] | From RuPaul’s Drag Race! | 《鲁保罗变装皇后秀》的那个 |
| [19:27] | We love your show. We used to watch it | 我们超爱看你的秀 我们之前都 |
| [19:29] | through our neighbor Jeff’s window. | 从我们邻居杰夫的窗户看 |
| [19:31] | But then he met Dean, | 但他后来跟迪恩好上了 |
| [19:32] | and now all they do is cook naked. | 现在他们俩整天不穿衣服做饭 |
| [19:33] | So we just watch that now. | 所以我们现在就看裸男秀了 |
| [19:36] | Oh, you poor babies. | 你们俩小可怜 |
| [19:37] | So, why the cat fight? | 你们俩为什么打架 |
| [19:40] | Did she steal your size 12 stilettos? | 她是不是偷了你46码的高跟鞋 |
| [19:42] | ‘Cause I would cut a bitch for that. | 要是我肯定会揍死那个贱人 |
| [19:45] | We were actually on our way to Texas | 我们其实是在去德州的路上 |
| [19:47] | to see if she and her ex could patch things up. | 看看她和她前男友能不能重修旧好 |
| [19:49] | No, we’re not going to Texas. | 不 我们不去德州了 |
| [19:50] | We’re going back home. | 我们要回家 |
| [19:52] | Sometimes you got to admit defeat… | 有时你得承认自己的失败… |
| [19:54] | and that there is a very live junebug in this macaroni salad. | 以及这通心粉沙拉里有一只鲜活的小甲虫 |
| [19:57] | Oh, no, honey. I do not like the sound of defeat. | 不 亲爱的 我不喜欢失败的声音 |
| [20:01] | You want to know where I’d be if I’d given up on my dreams? | 你们想知道如果我放弃梦想 我会在哪里吗 |
| [20:05] | Living right down the road | 住在马路的尽头 |
| [20:07] | managing a Dress Barn, | 开一家女性服饰店 |
| [20:09] | driving 400 miles in a ball gown to sing karaoke. | 穿着舞会礼服 开650公里远去唱卡拉OK |
| [20:14] | I would not be the supermodel of the world | 我不会成为世界超模 |
| [20:16] | that I am today, | 也就是今日的我 |
| [20:18] | okay? | 好咩 |
| [20:20] | Hello. | 懂没 |
| [20:21] | Hey, listen. I’m driving to Texas | 其实 我正好开车去德州 |
| [20:24] | if y’all want a ride. | 你们想搭顺风车吗 |
| [20:26] | Well, shall we sashay away? | 那我们一起华丽丽离开吧 |
| [20:30] | You know that’s copyrighted. | 你知道这话是有版权的 |
| [20:32] | Say it again, and you owe me $12,000. | 再说的话 我可要收你1万2的版权费哦 |
| [20:38] | Shotgun! | 我坐前排 |
| [20:39] | I’m sitting next to RuPaul! | 我要坐鲁保罗旁边 |
| [20:40] | No. I’m sitting next to RuPaul. | 不 我要坐鲁保罗旁边 |
| [20:41] | – I’m sitting next to RuPaul. – I am… | -我要坐鲁保罗旁边 -我要… |