| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Here’s your fish of the day. | 这是您点的今日鱼餐 |
| [00:04] | That day is last Monday. | 这个今日指的是周一 |
| [00:07] | Excuse me, miss? | 小姐 不好意思 |
| [00:09] | There’s a hair in my meatloaf. | 我的烘肉卷里有根头发 |
| [00:12] | This never happens. | 这事情绝对是个案 |
| [00:13] | Oleg! | 奥列格 |
| [00:15] | We got a H-34 at T-2! | T-2里有H-34 |
| [00:18] | A hair? That’s impossible. | 毛发吗 不可能啊 |
| [00:20] | Let me put some pants on. | 我先把裤子穿上 |
| [00:24] | I am so sorry | 我深表遗憾 |
| [00:26] | that you ordered the meatloaf. | 您居然点了烘肉卷吃 |
| [00:28] | Shouldn’t he be in a hairnet? | 他不是应该戴个发网吗 |
| [00:30] | He should be in a prison. | 他最应该的是进监狱 |
| [00:35] | Good news. | 好消息 |
| [00:37] | It’s not mine. | 这根不是我的 |
| [00:39] | That Propecia’s really paying off. | 我的生发剂真的很有效啊 |
| [00:42] | Obviously, it’s not mine. I’m blonde. | 这也很明显不是我的 我是金毛丫头 |
| [00:44] | You’re not blonde everywhere. | 你也不是全身都”金毛”啊 |
| [00:47] | I love carpet-and-drapes talk. | 我就爱听人聊”地毯跟窗帘” |
| [00:49] | I want my money back. | 我想要回我的钱 |
| [00:51] | Me too. | 我也想 |
| [00:54] | Well, it ain’t mine. | 这根也不是我的 |
| [00:56] | Last time my hair was this long, | 我还有这么长的头发那会 |
| [00:58] | I was a back-up dancer on Solid Gold. | 还是我80年代在歌舞节目当舞者的时候呢 |
| [01:02] | Han! | 阿憨 |
| [01:03] | We got a customer with a hair up his butt | 我们有个龟毛屁事多的顾客 |
| [01:04] | and one in his meatloaf. | 他的后肉卷里也有根毛 |
| [01:06] | Step aside. | 一边去 |
| [01:07] | Let an expert through. | 待本山人一看究竟 |
| [01:09] | Look, it’s “Law and Order: SAD” | 是电视剧《法律与秩序 特殊受矮者》 |
| [01:13] | It’s brown, somewhere between coffee and burnt sienna, | 棕色毛发 介于咖啡色与深褐色之间 |
| [01:17] | cleaned hastily with a combination shampoo-body wash. | 用洗发沐浴混合露潦草清洗过 |
| [01:21] | Mm, this hair belongs to a single white man | 这根头发的主人是个单身狗白人 |
| [01:25] | alone, and not by choice, but so set in his ways– | 是没人爱 而非想单身 而且注定单身到死… |
| [01:29] | Okay! | 够了 |
| [01:31] | It’s mine! | 是我的头发 |
| [01:33] | Next time you want a free meal, | 下次想骗吃骗喝 |
| [01:34] | order the fish of the day. | 记得点今日鱼餐 |
| [01:36] | Am I right, ma’am? | 对吧 女士 |
| [01:56] | Hey, can I order something? | 我能点个东西吗 |
| [01:59] | I’m gonna need to see some ID. | 你得先出示证件 |
| [02:00] | I’m getting the itch to hit the road again | 我又想浪迹天涯了 |
| [02:02] | and I’ll need a new identity. | 需要个新身份 |
| [02:04] | I’ll have a Moscow Mule. | 我要一杯莫斯科驴子 |
| [02:04] | 用伏特加 姜汁汽水 莱姆汁调配 以铜杯盛酒 并以一片莱姆点缀 | |
| [02:06] | Uh, how about a Jolly Rancher shot? | 来一杯综合水果饮料酒吧 |
| [02:08] | They’re one of our signature drinks, | 这是我们的招牌饮品之一 |
| [02:10] | served with a side of my finger-guns. | 杯中还会以我的指枪点缀呢 |
| [02:13] | How about a Moscow Mule | 来一杯莫斯科驴子如何 |
| [02:15] | since that’s what I just ordered? | 毕竟我刚才点的就是这个 |
| [02:17] | Oh, are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
| [02:18] | The shot glasses are made of actual Jolly Ranchers. | 烈酒杯是用真的水果饮料杯来装的呢 |
| [02:21] | Kids love ’em. | 小孩特爱呢 |
| [02:25] | One Moscow Mule coming up. | 一杯莫斯科驴子马上来 |
| [02:28] | All righty. | 好咧 |
| [02:30] | You don’t know how to make one, do you? | 你不知道怎么调 对吧 |
| [02:32] | No clue. | 完全不会 |
| [02:33] | How ’bout I just make it myself? | 那我自己来调如何 |
| [02:35] | Hmm, while you’re at it, I’ll have a Jack and Coke. | 既然你都动手了 给我来杯杰克和可乐 |
| [02:38] | Always wanted to know what was in that. | 一直都想知道这酒是用什么调出来的 |
| [02:41] | Max, what’s that guy doing behind you? | 麦克斯 那个男的在你身后干嘛 |
| [02:44] | You know I never look when they’re back there. | 你明知道男人在我身后干嘛时我从不回头看 |
| [02:47] | Look, you can’t let people serve themselves. | 你不能让别人自己给自己服务 |
| [02:49] | Again, not everything is a Hometown Buffet. | 不是什么哪里都是自助餐店好吗 |
| [02:53] | Uh, if it were, I’d be eating a biscuit | 如果这里是 我已经在吃 |
| [02:55] | with macaroni and pudding on top. | 饼干通心粉加布丁了 |
| [02:58] | People aren’t ordering our signature drinks. | 顾客都不点我们的招牌酒饮 |
| [03:00] | They want real ones, | 他们要喝真的酒 |
| [03:01] | and I only know how to make the stuff on the menu. | 但我只会调我们菜单上有的那些 |
| [03:03] | And Molly lollipops, which I call “Mollipops” | 还有摇头丸加棒棒糖 我叫它”加棒” |
| [03:07] | Then let me do it. | 那还是我来调吧 |
| [03:08] | And is that why I slept for three days after Halloween? | 我万圣节后昏睡三天就是因为你的”特调酒”吗 |
| [03:13] | Can I get a greyhound? | 我能要灰狗吗 |
| [03:15] | Greyhound… | 灰狗… |
| [03:18] | I don’t drive for them anymore. | 我已经不在灰狗巴士开大巴了 |
| [03:21] | Politics! | 政策啥的 |
| [03:24] | Uh, you heard the man. | 喂 有人点单了 |
| [03:26] | We’re not paying you to just stand around. | 我们付钱给你可不是让你在这白站着 |
| [03:28] | You’re not paying me at all. | 你们压根就没付我钱 |
| [03:30] | Not with that attitude. | 就你这态度还想挣钱 |
| [03:32] | Believe me, if we could afford a bartender, we’d hire one. | 相信我 我们要是够钱请酒保 早就请了 |
| [03:35] | This obviously isn’t working out for either of us. | 看来这合作关系是合不来了 |
| [03:41] | Was there a problem with your service? | 给你的服务有啥问题吗 小费呢 |
| [03:46] | Max, we need to talk about what happened last night. | 麦克斯 我们得谈谈昨晚发生的事 |
| [03:49] | Oh, crap, you said you were on the pill. | 靠 你明明说你有在吃事前避孕药 |
| [03:53] | We need someone at the dessert bar | 我们甜品酒吧需要有个人 |
| [03:55] | who knows how to make real drinks. | 懂得怎么调真正的酒饮 |
| [03:56] | Not that your “Cigarette butt and toni” wasn’t a hit. | 绝不是嫌弃你的”烟屁股汤力”销量不好 |
| [04:00] | You said we couldn’t afford a bartender… | 是你说我们请不起酒保 |
| [04:03] | or a mechanical bull, | 或是买机械牛 |
| [04:03] | 在某些酒吧餐厅里会放机械牛游戏机 顾客可以挑战像牛仔一样骑在上面不被甩下来 | |
| [04:04] | which would have paid for itself by now. | 要是当时买了 现在早赚回本了 |
| [04:06] | Here’s my idea. | 我有个主意 |
| [04:08] | We are going to bartending school so we can– | 我们可以去上调酒课 这样… |
| [04:10] | and don’t kick me– be the best– | 别踹我 我们就能成为 |
| [04:12] | no pinching, not my nose– | 别捏我 也别打鼻子 |
| [04:14] | business we can be! | 一家我们想成为的好店 |
| [04:15] | G’doink. | 我弹 |
| [04:16] | You didn’t say anything about G’doinks. | 你没说不能弹 |
| [04:19] | What do you think? | 你觉得如何 |
| [04:20] | ‘Cause we’re already signed up and it’s non-refundable. | 因为我们已经报名付费 而且不能退钱了 |
| [04:22] | I took your share out of your piggy bong. | 我从你的存钱小猪烟斗里拿了你的学费 |
| [04:25] | You stole from Cheech and Change? | 你居然从招财跟进宝里偷钱 |
| [04:30] | Okay, you can say you hate the idea, | 你不喜欢我这主意 说就是了 |
| [04:32] | but you don’t have to cry about it. | 你不需要哇哇哭吧 |
| [04:35] | Man, this baby’s more full of crap | 这孩子裤裆里的屎[一派胡言]多到 |
| [04:37] | than a Coldplay album. | 比酷玩乐队专辑里还多 |
| [04:39] | Fine, I’ll change your diaper, but when you grow up, | 我现在替你换尿布 但等你长大了 |
| [04:43] | you’re going to have to return the favor. | 记得还我这份情 也替我换 |
| [04:46] | The diaper goes the other way! | 尿布包反了 |
| [04:50] | Earl, did that doll just talk | 厄尔 是那个娃娃说话了 |
| [04:52] | or are the voices telling me to kill again? | 还是脑海中的声音又让我开始杀戮了 |
| [04:54] | No, no, it’s been yelling at me all day. | 不是 这娃娃吼了我一整天了 |
| [04:57] | Between this and the police chatter | 除了这个 还有我助听器 |
| [04:59] | I pick up on my hearing aid, | 接收到的警察无线电 |
| [05:00] | it’s like a damn party in my head. | 我脑子里就跟开派对似的 |
| [05:04] | Roger that. | 收到 |
| [05:07] | Can this doll get any creepier? | 这个娃娃还能再更吓人一点吗 |
| [05:09] | Takes one to know one, Caroline. | 卡洛琳 你也好不到哪去 |
| [05:11] | Asked and answered. | 你问了 她答了 |
| [05:15] | Can’t a lady have a smoke and a tinkle | 一位淑女就不能抽烟撒尿时 |
| [05:17] | without having to worry about her baby? | 不用操心着自己的孩子吗 |
| [05:20] | You were watching us from the toilet? | 你刚才从厕所里在偷看我们吗 |
| [05:22] | Can’t you just hold your nose and hover like everyone else? | 你不能像别人一样捂鼻子从隔间上方偷看吗 |
| [05:25] | It’s my surveillance doll. Look. | 这是我的监控娃娃 你看 |
| [05:29] | It’s hooked up to an app in my phone. | 它连接到我手机里的一个软件了 |
| [05:32] | Look, she’s got | 看 她… |
| [05:34] | cameras in her eyeballs; | 眼珠里有摄像头 |
| [05:36] | she’s got a microphone in her mouth; | 嘴巴有个麦克风 |
| [05:38] | and look, a laser pointer in her butt. | 屁眼还有个激光指示器 |
| [05:42] | Is that the American Girl Doll PATRIOT Act edition? | 这是美国女孩娃娃之爱国者法案版吗 |
| [05:42] | 允许透过适当手段来阻止并避免恐怖主义 给执法机关增大了各种搜索监察权限 | |
| [05:46] | Isn’t she cute? | 她是不是超可爱 |
| [05:48] | Look, she’s like my twin, | 就像是我的双胞胎姐妹 |
| [05:50] | only more alive. | 差别只在比我更活生生 |
| [05:55] | Thank you for keeping your eye on Barbara. | 谢谢你替我留心照顾芭芭拉 |
| [06:02] | Well, thanks so much. | 非常谢谢你 |
| [06:04] | I’d pay you, | 我很乐意付你钱 |
| [06:06] | but I know you’re too proud to take the money. | 但我知道你骄傲的自尊不容许自己收下钱 |
| [06:08] | Uh, actually, the medical bills are piling up, Sophie. | 苏菲 其实我的药费单堆积如山… |
| [06:11] | -Well, see you later! -And I could really use… | -再见啦 -我其实还挺需要… |
| [06:15] | If you need a free babysitter, that guy. | 如果你需要免费保姆 找他 |
| [06:19] | Is it just me | 是我的问题 |
| [06:20] | or is it hot and blurry in here? | 还是店里又热又雾蒙蒙 |
| [06:24] | Pardon me, sir. | 先生 失礼了 |
| [06:27] | Oh, my God, Han. | 天啊 阿憨 |
| [06:28] | You’re covered in spots and you’re delirious. | 你浑身起了斑 还有幻觉 |
| [06:31] | You have chicken pox. | 你长水痘[鸡痘]啦 |
| [06:32] | You also have chicken legs, so I guess you’re even. | 你也还有小鸡腿 所以你也算齐活儿啦 |
| [06:35] | Han, you have to go home. | 阿憨 你得回家隔离 |
| [06:37] | You’re contagious. | 你这病有传染性 |
| [06:38] | And not like my laugh. | 而且不是我笑声这种好的传染性 |
| [06:45] | Welcome to the Dinersburg Williams. | 欢迎来到餐厅堡威廉斯 |
| [06:48] | Who said that? | 那胡话谁说的 |
| [06:49] | You did! You have to go home. | 是你说的 你必须得回家 |
| [06:51] | Well, I suppose I could get into bed | 我的确不介意回家躺床上 |
| [06:54] | and Hulu a little Mindy Project. | 在线看点《明迪烦事多》 |
| [06:54] | 又名《明迪人生计划》 受女性观众喜爱 一名女妇产科医生的生活点滴喜剧 | |
| [06:56] | And, boy, is she a project. | 哎妈 她可真”人生计划”啊 |
| [07:03] | Han looked pretty unsteady. | 阿憨看起来不太稳定 |
| [07:05] | Do you think someone should make sure he gets home okay? | 你觉得该找人确保他安全回家吗 |
| [07:07] | Don’t worry so much. He’ll be fine. | 别杞人忧天 他没事的 |
| [07:16] | See? Fine. | 你看 没事 |
| [07:21] | I know this is just bartending class, | 我知道这只是调酒课 |
| [07:23] | but gum, please? | 但麻烦吐出口香糖 |
| [07:26] | That was chewing tobacco, FYI. | 告诉你 这其实是嚼用烟草 |
| [07:29] | We need to take this seriously, Max. | 麦克斯 我们得认真上课 |
| [07:32] | Is that a pocket knife? | 那是小折刀吗 |
| [07:34] | Uh, yeah. | 是啊 |
| [07:36] | How are they gonna know I was here | 我要是不在桌子上刻名字缩写 |
| [07:37] | if I can’t carve my initials in the desk? | 他们怎么知道我在这上课 |
| [07:40] | Maybe we should sit at separate workstations. | 或许我们俩不应该坐在同一个工作台 |
| [07:42] | I’m obviously gonna be the top student here | 我很明显会是班级尖子生 |
| [07:44] | and I don’t want to be associated with your | 我不想跟你那 |
| [07:46] | “rebel without health insurance” attitude. | “又叛逆又没医保”的姿态扯上关系 |
| [07:49] | Fine, smell you later. | 随便你 拜拜 |
| [07:53] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [07:54] | I haven’t been in a class | 我毕业后就没上过课 |
| [07:55] | since I graduated from Wharton. | 我是从沃顿商学院毕业的 |
| [07:57] | -It’s an Ivy League– -I went to Harvard. | -是常春藤盟校… -我哈佛大学毕业的 |
| [08:00] | Wharton was my safety school. | 沃顿是我当年的保底学校 |
| [08:04] | Max, do you still have that pocket knife? | 麦克斯 你的小折刀还在吗 |
| [08:07] | Okay, I think everyone is here. | 好了 我看大家应该都到了 |
| [08:09] | Hi, my name is Gil Bronski | 大家好 我叫吉尔·布朗斯基 |
| [08:12] | and I am in no rush to go home. | 我完全不着急下班回家 |
| [08:15] | I live with my mother and her three cats, | 我跟我母亲以及她的三只猫同住 |
| [08:18] | two of whom have diarrhea. | 其中两只最近在拉稀 |
| [08:27] | I thought it was an icebreaker. | 我还以为是搞笑开场呢 |
| [08:28] | No, it’s a carpet-ruiner. | 不 是地毯开花了 |
| [08:32] | Oh, thanks, Julie. | 谢谢捧场 朱莉 |
| [08:35] | Julie’s killing it. | 朱莉大杀四方啊 |
| [08:38] | Now, you’re probably all wondering, | 我想你们大家都在好奇 |
| [08:40] | “How did this former child actor | “眼前这位前童星 |
| [08:42] | Briefly sidelined by a 30-year drug addiction | 因为30年的毒瘾而短暂坐冷板凳 |
| [08:46] | find himself teaching bartending school?” | 是怎么沦落到来教人调酒呢” |
| [08:48] | Just got lucky? | 因为撞大运了吗 |
| [08:50] | Just got lucky! | 就是撞大运了 |
| [08:52] | Now, who can answer this? | 你们谁能回答这题 |
| [08:56] | He hasn’t asked it yet, ass-kissers. | 他都还没问呢 马屁精们 |
| [08:59] | Churchill declared war while sipping a Long Island Iced Tea. | 丘吉尔喝着长岛冰茶宣布开战 |
| [09:03] | The Magna Carta, French Revolution, | 大宪章鸡尾酒 法国大革命鸡尾酒 |
| [09:06] | my three divorces, | 我的三次离婚 |
| [09:07] | what’s the common denominator? | 它们的共同点在哪里 |
| [09:10] | Booze, duh. | 酒啊 废话 |
| [09:11] | Booze, duh! | 酒啊 废话 |
| [09:14] | She didn’t raise her hand. | 她没举手 |
| [09:16] | Boy, we have got some eager beavers here, don’t we? | 哎哟 貌似来了一些装认真逼啊 |
| [09:20] | Ha, that’s what my pimp told us at our working brunch. | 上班午餐时间 鸡头也对我们说了这句话 |
| [09:25] | Now… | 其实呢 |
| [09:26] | I have only one rule. | 我个人只有一个规矩 |
| [09:29] | No– | 不许… |
| [09:31] | Interruptions. | 打断我 |
| [09:33] | This is crazy; no one has called me in six years. | 这不可能 都六年没人给我打过电话了 |
| [09:37] | I would have guessed longer. | 我还以为更久了呢 |
| [09:41] | Thanks, Julie. | 谢谢捧场 朱莉 |
| [09:43] | Let’s make some drinks! | 大家来调酒吧 |
| [09:46] | Oh, my God. I love school so much. | 我的天啊 我爱死上学了 |
| [09:53] | How am I expected to know the difference | 我为什么应该知道 |
| [09:54] | between a vodka sunrise and a vodka sunset? | 伏特加日出跟伏特加日落的差别在哪啊 |
| [09:55] | 日出比日落的伏特加含量少 但柳橙汁较多 日出还加红石榴糖浆 而日落是加葡萄柚汁 | |
| [09:57] | 12 hours and a missing pair of pants. | 差了12小时与少了一条裤子 |
| [10:01] | Now, shh. I’m studying. | 别吵 我在学习 |
| [10:05] | That was the first homework I’ve ever done. | 这是我这辈子第一次做功课 |
| [10:08] | I’ve never seen you take anything this seriously. | 我从来没见过你对一件事这么上心 |
| [10:11] | And you had rabies once. | 之前得狂犬病你都没这样 |
| [10:14] | Stop joking around. This is for school. | 别胡闹了 这是为了学校呢 |
| [10:20] | Where did you get those glasses, The Golden Girls? | 你从哪里弄来的眼镜 《黄金女郎》吗 |
| [10:24] | For the first time in my life, I want to learn goodly. | 这是我这辈子第一次想好好”的”学习呢 |
| [10:28] | Max, have we switched bodies? | 麦克斯 我们是互换了身体吗 |
| [10:31] | If so, enjoy chlamydia. | 如果真是这样 好好享受性病吧 |
| [10:36] | I want to do well on this test. | 我想考试考高分 |
| [10:38] | I want to get a, uh… | 我想得到… |
| [10:40] | what’s the good letter? | 高分的那个字母是啥来着 |
| [10:43] | It’s an A. | 是得A |
| [10:44] | And I think this is gonna be the first time I don’t get one. | 我想这大概是我这辈子第一次得不到了 |
| [10:47] | I am just not connecting to the material. | 我完全看不进去这些教材 |
| [10:50] | Like sci-fi comedy, I mean, pick a lane. | 就像是科幻喜剧 好好选一方向不行吗 |
| [10:54] | Well, give me that book | 把那本书给我 |
| [10:55] | ’cause I’m gonna nail this bartending exam | 因为老娘要搞定这次调酒考试 |
| [10:57] | like it’s some guy I met at the grocery store. | 就像搞定超市里认识的陌生男人一样 |
| [11:01] | Most of my tests just had “See me” written at the top. | 我大部分的考试结果上面都写着”来办公室见我” |
| [11:06] | Mine always had, | 我的总是写着 |
| [11:07] | “You’ve done it again, Caroline Channing” | “你又成功了 卡洛琳·钱宁” |
| [11:09] | And I have to do it again. Let me try making a drink. | 我必须再次成功 让我做杯喝的试试 |
| [11:11] | Okay. Bartender? | 好的 酒保 |
| [11:13] | Make me a Bloody Mary. | 给我做杯血腥玛丽 |
| [11:15] | The drink, not my friend Mary Nichol | 要喝的哦 不是我那个 |
| [11:16] | who got her period in fourth grade. | 四年级就来大姨妈的朋友玛丽 |
| [11:18] | I have to get this. | 我必须会做这个 |
| [11:20] | I know the bloody part is tomato juice, | 我知道血腥部分是用番茄汁 |
| [11:22] | but what the hell is the Mary? | 但玛丽是什么鬼啊 |
| [11:24] | I should know. I’ve dated so many. | 我应该知道的呀 毕竟我跟很多玛丽约会过 |
| [11:26] | I’ll give you a hint. | 我给你个提示吧 |
| [11:28] | Rhymes with “Schmodka” | 跟”屎莫加”最后一字相同 |
| [11:30] | Grodka! | 哥得加 |
| [11:33] | That’s not even a thing. What is wrong with me? | 这都不是个字 我真是脑抽了 |
| [11:35] | Vodka. | 应该是伏特加 |
| [11:38] | Um, that was clam juice. | 那是蛤蜊汁 |
| [11:42] | Sure was. | 我当然知道 |
| [11:45] | Pick up, hot… | 上菜 新鲜出炉的… |
| [11:47] | doll. | 娃娃 |
| [11:49] | The Sophie doll? | 苏菲娃娃 |
| [11:50] | Well, it’s covered in hair | 上面全是头发 |
| [11:51] | so it’ll pass as food around here. | 所以在这里可以算是食物啦 |
| [11:54] | Just get rid of it. | 替我扔了它就行 |
| [11:55] | Sophie’s constantly using it to criticize me, | 苏菲时不时用它来批评我 |
| [11:58] | so I disconnected her app. | 所以我断开了她连接的软件 |
| [12:00] | I mean, how many times can she yell at me | 我是说 她到底要为了这事嚷我多少遍啊 |
| [12:02] | to wash my hands after going to the bathroom? | 不就是上完厕所后要洗手吗 |
| [12:08] | Every time? | 每次都该嚷吧 |
| [12:11] | That doll is driving me crazy. | 这个娃娃快逼疯我了 |
| [12:13] | Plus, I think I’m… | 再说了 我觉得自己… |
| [12:15] | starting to have feelings for it. | 要开始爱上它了 |
| [12:18] | Fine. I’ll take her. | 好吧 给我吧 |
| [12:22] | I haven’t had a possessed doll | 我好久没有鬼娃娃了 |
| [12:23] | since Chucky moved out in ’09. | 鬼娃恰吉在2009年就搬走了 |
| [12:26] | Now, he could make a Bloody Mary. | 他能做”血腥”玛丽 |
| [12:28] | And a bloody Denise and a bloody Julio. | 还能做”血腥”丹妮丝 还有”血腥”胡里奥 |
| [12:34] | Speaking of creepy dolls come to life. | 一说起死回生的恐怖娃娃 就真来一个 |
| [12:37] | Han, if you have open sores, you have to go home. | 阿憨 如果会传染 你就必须待家里 |
| [12:40] | Not that it’s stopped anyone else who works here. | 虽然你的员工也都不是有传染病就待家里 |
| [12:43] | I can’t go home. | 我有家回不得 |
| [12:44] | I took an oatmeal bath to get rid of the itching, | 我为了止痒洗了个燕麦浴 |
| [12:47] | and it flooded my apartment. | 结果公寓被淹了 |
| [12:49] | I tried eating it down, | 我试着吃了它 |
| [12:51] | but I passed out and nearly suffocated. | 结果昏倒 还差点窒息身亡 |
| [12:54] | Well, find a nice subway bench to curl up on. | 找个好点的地铁长凳 蜷在上面 |
| [12:57] | Or even a Subway sandwich. | 或者赛百味的三明治也行 |
| [12:59] | You know how embarrassing it would be to catch a disease | 你知道如果被一个没上过床的家伙传染得病 |
| [13:01] | from a guy I haven’t slept with? | 这事有多丢脸吗 |
| [13:06] | What? Do I have something in my teeth? | 干嘛 我牙齿上有东西吗 |
| [13:09] | Yes, of course. But not that. | 当然有 但问题不在牙齿 |
| [13:11] | Max, I think you have chicken pox. | 麦克斯 你好像也得了水痘 |
| [13:15] | Well, I could make this less embarrassing for you. | 我可以让你少丢一点脸 |
| [13:18] | We could have sex. | 我们可以上床啊 |
| [13:26] | I can’t believe that little Outbreak monkey | 真不敢相信那只小病猴居然 |
| [13:28] | gave me the pox! | 把水痘传染给我 |
| [13:31] | If I get my mittens on him, I’m gonna tear him | 如果他落入我的手套里 那我一定 |
| [13:33] | from tiny limb to tiny limb. | 把他撕成碎片 |
| [13:35] | Best I stay in the bathroom then? | 那我最好还是待在浴室别出来吗 |
| [13:39] | No. | 不 |
| [13:40] | Come on out, patient-zero-friends. | 出来吧 第一感染源病友 |
| [13:43] | I need you to enter your Netflix password. | 我需要你输入你的网飞视频网密码 |
| [13:45] | It’s “Han job 69.” | 密码是”打憨机69″ |
| [13:48] | You’re the one who set it. | 你给我设的啊 |
| [13:50] | And thanks for letting me crash here. | 谢谢你让我暂住在你家 |
| [13:52] | I’m not sure you can legally make me your butler for life, | 我不确定你能否合法将我变成你一辈子的男佣 |
| [13:55] | but I did sign the contract. | 但我的确签了卖身契 |
| [13:58] | I’m still feeling a little woozy. | 我还觉得有点头晕眼花 |
| [14:01] | Hello, Sophie. | 你好呀 苏菲 |
| [14:03] | Don’t change the subject. | 少给我转移话题 |
| [14:04] | For the first time, I really wanted to go to school. | 老娘第一次这么想去学校 |
| [14:07] | I know I could fit your head in my toilet, | 我知道我可以把你的头塞进我马桶 |
| [14:09] | but I wonder if I can get your whole body in there. | 但我很好奇我能不能把你整个身子塞进去 |
| [14:11] | Wow, you really put the “bitch” in “itch.” | 你的”婊气”真是气得我浑身”痒” |
| [14:15] | Could you? | 能帮我挠挠吗 |
| [14:17] | Ah, that’s the stuff. | 就是这样 |
| [14:20] | Now get my back. | 现在换你帮我挠 |
| [14:23] | You like that? Is it hard enough? | 爽不爽 够不够力 |
| [14:25] | Am I hurting you? | 我会不会弄疼你了 |
| [14:26] | Don’t flatter yourself. | 你少自作多情以为自己”猛”了 |
| [14:28] | Don’t stop till I get enough. | 我没爽够前不许停 |
| [14:30] | Won’t that be easier if Max takes her shirt off? | 让麦克斯把上衣脱掉不是更方便吗 |
| [14:34] | Oleg! | 奥列格 |
| [14:35] | Are you spying on us? | 你是在监视我们吗 |
| [14:37] | Momma. | 妈妈 |
| [14:40] | I am so screwed. | 我完蛋了我 |
| [14:41] | The bartending test is in two hours, | 离调酒考试还有两小时 |
| [14:43] | and I can’t remember what goes in a White Lady. | 而我却记不住白色佳人酒里面有啥 |
| [14:46] | A bottle of chardonnay | 一瓶夏敦埃酒下肚 |
| [14:46] | and then a fat guy that makes her laugh. | 一个逗她发笑的肥佬就可以进入”里面” |
| [14:50] | Is that Caroline? | 那是卡洛琳吗 |
| [14:51] | She sounds like she’s not wearing underwear. | 她的声音听上去像没穿内衣 |
| [14:56] | How did Oleg get inside the doll? | 奥列格怎么会在一个娃娃”里面” |
| [14:59] | Wish it was the first time I said that. | 真希望我是第一次说这话 |
| [15:02] | I got the app, | 我下了那款软件 |
| [15:03] | and now I have a Saturday night. | 现在我也有周六夜”现场”了 |
| [15:06] | Oleg, have you seen my Sophie doll? | 奥列格 你有看见我的苏菲娃娃吗 |
| [15:09] | Uh…I haven’t seen her. | 没有看见呢 |
| [15:11] | Gotta go. | 先挂啦 |
| [15:13] | Wait, this thing works with any phone? | 等等 这玩意什么手机都能用吗 |
| [15:16] | Oh, my God, Max, we can use the doll | 天啊 麦克斯 我们可以利用这个娃娃 |
| [15:18] | so you can read me the ingredients for drinks on the test. | 这样你就可以在考试时把酒的配方告诉我 |
| [15:21] | You mean cheat? At school? | 你是说作弊吗 在学校作弊吗 |
| [15:23] | Wow, maybe we did switch bodies. | 哇 或许我们真的互换了身体 |
| [15:26] | – Rats. – Oh, thank God. | -胡说 还是平的 -谢天谢地 |
| [15:28] | Is there any way I could get either of you | 我能不能让你们俩其中一个 |
| [15:30] | to scratch my tum-tum? | 帮我挠挠肚皮呢 |
| [15:32] | Here. | 给 |
| [15:36] | The nails are real. | 指甲触感好真实哦 |
| [15:46] | Nice shirt, nerd. | 上衣不错啊 书呆妹 |
| [15:49] | Ooh, nice shirt. | 上衣不错嘛 |
| [15:51] | Thanks, Mr. B. | 谢谢 布先生 |
| [15:53] | Any love for my shirt? | 要夸夸我的上衣吗 |
| [15:55] | Mm, feels desperate. | 感觉拍马屁用力过猛 |
| [15:57] | Hey, where’s Max? | 麦克斯呢 |
| [15:58] | A bunch of us are going to Chili’s after class. | 我们一帮人打算课后一起去吃饭 |
| [16:00] | Max is sick, but I’m totally free. | 麦克斯生病了 但我有空 |
| [16:02] | Mm, reservation’s only for ten. | 只预定了10个人的位子 |
| [16:05] | But Max isn’t here, so I can take her spot. | 但麦克斯不在 我可以坐她的位子啊 |
| [16:08] | You’d think. | 想得美 |
| [16:11] | What’s that? | 那是什么 |
| [16:12] | Oh, this is my emotional support doll. | 那是我的精神支柱娃娃 |
| [16:15] | I brush her hair and it calms me down. | 帮她梳头有助于让我平静 |
| [16:17] | I’m not insane. | 我可不是疯子 |
| [16:18] | Hey, I’ve been saying that for 30 years! | 这话我都说了30年了 |
| [16:21] | All right, kiddies, | 好了 孩子们 |
| [16:22] | I need ten drinks in ten minutes. | 10分钟做10杯鸡尾酒 |
| [16:25] | Or, as a blacked-out me once said, | 有次喝得断片的我曾说过 |
| [16:27] | “Let’s get this starty parted.” | “让开对派始吧” |
| [16:30] | Begin. | 开始 |
| [16:31] | Max, are you there? | 麦克斯 你在吗 |
| [16:32] | Can you see the set-up? | 你看见桌上分好的材料了吗 |
| [16:34] | I see you and Julie both | 我看见你和朱莉俩人 |
| [16:35] | shop at Tommy Bah-Brown Nose. | 都在马屁精服饰店买衣服 |
| [16:39] | Care for a cinnamon stick in your cocoa? | 你的可可里要加肉桂条吗 |
| [16:41] | Never mind, a millipede carried it off. | 当我没问 一只千足虫把肉桂条拿走了 |
| [16:45] | How’s school? Did anybody ask about me? | 学校怎么样 有人问起我吗 |
| [16:47] | Tell Keith whassup. | 帮我向基思问好 |
| [16:48] | And tell Dave whassup, but not in front of Keith. | 还有向戴夫问好 不过别当着基思的面 |
| [16:51] | Max, focus. | 麦克斯 别分心 |
| [16:52] | The first drink I have to make is a Negroni. | 我要做的第一杯鸡尾酒是尼格龙尼 |
| [16:55] | And I’ll tell you how to make it | 我马上就告诉你怎么做 |
| [16:56] | as soon as you relay a message to Jeff | 只要你先帮我给杰夫捎个话 |
| [16:58] | that goes a lot like this: | 原话是这样的 |
| [17:00] | whassup. | 你好啊啊啊 |
| [17:02] | Max says, “Whassup, whassup.” | 麦克斯说”你好啊啊啊 你好啊啊啊” |
| [17:05] | Okay, I’m listening. | 好了 你快说 |
| [17:07] | Gin. | 琴酒 |
| [17:08] | No, that’s not gin. | 不 那不是琴酒 |
| [17:10] | Did you even go to kindergarten? | 你难道没念过幼儿园吗 |
| [17:12] | It’s the one right next to it. | 是它旁边那瓶 |
| [17:14] | Got it. | 知道了 |
| [17:15] | Wow, I am really cheating. | 我真的在作弊耶 |
| [17:18] | I am such a bad girl. | 我真是个坏女孩 |
| [17:21] | Here we go, hot cocoa Han-style. | 做好了 阿憨特调热可可 |
| [17:24] | Complete with a frothy marshmallow layer. | 上面加了一层泡沫棉花糖 |
| [17:26] | Ooh, marshmallows. | 棉花糖 |
| [17:29] | And marshmallows, got it. | 还有棉花糖 知道了 |
| [17:30] | No, no, no, not you. | 不不不 不是跟你说 |
| [17:31] | I was talking to Swiss Miss over here. | 我刚才在跟瑞士小姐说话呢 |
| [17:35] | Aah… | 啊… |
| [17:37] | choo. | 嚏 |
| [17:40] | Man, you are acting crazier than me | 天啊 你比我跟踪 |
| [17:42] | when I was stalking Tom Hanks. | 汤姆·汉克斯那会还疯 |
| [17:44] | It’s okay, it’s okay. | 没事 没事 |
| [17:46] | You spilled all over the book. | 你洒得整本书都是 |
| [17:47] | I can’t read a thing. How is this okay? | 我一个字都看不清了 怎么会没事 |
| [17:50] | Because… | 因为… |
| [17:51] | that was your cocoa. | 有事的是你的可可 |
| [17:57] | How do you like your girl Swiss Miss now? | 你现在喜欢你的女佣瑞士小姐了吗 |
| [18:01] | You better grab something to dry this book off. | 你最好赶紧拿东西把书擦干 |
| [18:03] | Bookoff? Is that a vodka? | 书擦干 那是一种伏特加吗 |
| [18:05] | I’m panicking. I’m gonna fail. | 我好恐慌 我要挂科了 |
| [18:13] | Aw, cheating on a bartending test? | 调酒考试居然作弊 |
| [18:16] | I am gonna tell you the same thing I told The Situation: | 我要把对《战火迷情》剧组说的那句话送给你 |
| [18:19] | you take it on back to Jersey. | 你还是滚回老家吧 |
| [18:23] | Good one, Mr. B. | 说得好 布先生 |
| [18:24] | Oh, thanks, Julie. | 谢谢 朱莉 |
| [18:26] | I am so sorry, Mr. Bronski. | 非常抱歉 布朗斯基老师 |
| [18:28] | Please don’t fail me. I’ll do anything. | 只要让我通过 我什么都愿意做 |
| [18:31] | But nothing sexual. | 但不上床 |
| [18:34] | I mean, after all, it’s just bartending school. | 毕竟这只是学调酒的学校 不值得我卖肉 |
| [18:37] | I’m gonna take this doll with me. | 这个娃娃归我了 |
| [18:39] | She’s gonna be our tenth at Chili’s. | 她来填补今晚餐厅多出的空位 |
| [18:43] | Hey, Mr. B, whassup! | 布先生 你好呀啊啊 |
| [18:46] | Hi, Max. | 你好呀 麦克斯 |
| [18:49] | I just can’t get it out of my head. | 我至今无法忘记那个画面 |
| [18:51] | It was terrible. | 太可怕了 |
| [18:52] | He ripped apart the doll right in front of me. | 他当着我的面把娃娃撕成两半 |
| [18:55] | And then this part I couldn’t even tell you, | 接下来这部分我都不好意思告诉你 |
| [18:57] | I f… | 我… |
| [18:59] | – Failed? – Farted! | -挂科了 -放屁了 |
| [19:02] | You know how my stomach gets when I’m upset. | 你也知道我一难受 肚子也跟着难受 |
| [19:05] | Well, if it makes you feel any better, | 如果能让你觉得好过些 |
| [19:07] | I woke up with me and Han spooning. | 我醒来时发现我跟阿憨相拥而眠 |
| [19:12] | Which spoon were you? | 你是拥人还是被拥人 |
| [19:13] | The one with the stiffie in her back for three hours. | 后面被小鸡鸡顶了三个小时的人 |
| [19:19] | Hey, everybody. | 大家安安 |
| [19:23] | We just stopped in for a Jolly Rancher shot | 我们只是过来喝一杯综合水果饮料酒 |
| [19:25] | on our way to a live sex show. | 然后就去看现场做爱秀了 |
| [19:29] | Sophie, where’s the baby? | 苏菲 宝宝呢 |
| [19:30] | Oh, she’s with the babysitter. | 她跟保姆在一起 |
| [19:32] | Some perverted SOB stole my Sophie doll. | 某个变态混蛋偷了我的苏菲娃娃 |
| [19:37] | I realized that | 我意识到 |
| [19:39] | it’s okay not to watch baby Barbara for 24-8. | 其实不用一天24小时 一周8天都看着芭芭拉 |
| [19:45] | You know, in Poland, we get the extra day. | 在波兰 我们一周会多一天 |
| [19:48] | For dredging the lakes. | 拿来疏浚湖泊 |
| [19:53] | Why don’t you go get us a table, Sophie? | 要不你去找张桌子坐下吧 苏菲 |
| [19:55] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [19:57] | Any chance of getting that doll back? | 还有机会把娃娃拿回来吗 |
| [19:59] | I really underestimated how strong my feelings for it were. | 我真是低估了我之前对它的爱有多强烈 |
| [20:03] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [20:04] | I was the one who walked in on you brushing her hair. | 就是我不小心撞见你帮她梳毛发的啊 |
| [20:08] | And I was the one who asked you not to repeat that. | 也是我让你别把这事说出去的啊 |
| [20:11] | I’ll have a mojito. | 我要一杯莫吉托 |
| [20:13] | Sorry, we don’t do off-menu drinks. | 抱歉 我们不做点单上没有的酒 |
| [20:14] | I’m on it. | 我来吧 |
| [20:17] | One mojito coming up. | 一杯莫吉托 马上好 |
| [20:19] | What are you doing? We failed the class. | 你这是做什么 我们明明挂科了 |
| [20:21] | Ooh, first time I didn’t fart saying that. | 我第一次说这话时不放屁 |
| [20:24] | You failed. | 是你挂了 |
| [20:26] | Between studying and helping you cheat, | 在学习和帮你作弊的时候 |
| [20:27] | I learned how to make every drink in that book. | 我学会了做那本书上所有的鸡尾酒 |
| [20:30] | Oh, my God, Max, you learned something. | 天啊 麦克斯 你真的有学到东西 |
| [20:33] | I failed so you could succeed. | 我挂了是为了让你能成功 |
| [20:35] | So in a way, I succeeded too. | 所以在某种程度上 我也成功了 |
| [20:38] | You’ve done it again, Caroline Channing. | 你又成功了 卡洛琳·钱宁 |
| [20:41] | Oh, yeah! | 太爽了 |
| [20:46] | Oh. The live sex show is here. | 原来现场做爱秀是在这里 |