时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:03] | Max, what’s a five-letter word for “happy”? | 麦克斯 有什么两字的词代表”快乐” |
[00:06] | And it’s not my first wife, Helen. | 答案不是我的第一任妻子”海伦” |
[00:10] | I was gonna suggest “Drunk.” | 我本来要说”喝醉” |
[00:13] | Maybe ’cause I am. | 因为我就醉着 |
[00:15] | Hey, everybody! | 大家安安 |
[00:22] | Guess what I have under my coat. | 猜猜我的大衣底下有什么 |
[00:24] | And it’s not ice cream sundaes like last time. | 绝对不是上次的冰激凌圣代 |
[00:29] | It’s my baby bump! | 这次是我的孕肚 |
[00:33] | Aw, Sophie, you’re showing! | 苏菲 你开始显孕态了 |
[00:36] | And this time, it’s not either of your nipples. | 而且这次”显”的不是你的奶头 |
[00:40] | Ah, look! Only four months. | 看 才四个月大 |
[00:42] | And I’m already approaching Kardashian. | 我就快跟卡戴珊一样了 |
[00:45] | And that’s quoting the doctor. | 这可是医生说的 |
[00:48] | Impressive. | 太厉害了 |
[00:49] | You may have a North, South, East, and West in there. | 你里面可能东南西北都怀上了 |
[00:49] | 卡戴珊老公侃爷的姓氏是West西 而他们第一个孩子的名字叫North北 | |
[00:54] | The baby really kicks. | 这宝宝可会踢了 |
[00:56] | So it’s either gonna be a soccer player | 以后估计会是个足球员 |
[00:58] | or a Los Angeles policeman. | 不然就是洛杉矶的暴力警察 |
[01:03] | Hey, Han, what do you think | 阿憨 你觉得 |
[01:05] | of my baby bump, baby bump, baby bump? | 我的孕肚 孕肚 孕肚肚如何啊 |
[01:08] | In my country, we never comment on two things: | 在我的国家 我们从来不评论两件事 |
[01:11] | women’s pregnancies or Kim Jong-un’s haircut. | 女人的孕事跟金正恩的新发型 |
[01:32] | One tuna malt. | 金枪鱼麦芽酒 |
[01:37] | That was a tuna melt. | 我写的是金枪鱼三明治 |
[01:45] | Max, here comes Han. | 麦克斯 阿憨要来了 |
[01:46] | Now remember, we have to be extra nice | 记得 我们得对他加倍好 |
[01:48] | so we can get his support for our new dessert bar. | 才能得到他对我们的甜品酒吧大力支持 |
[01:51] | How can he support us? | 他哪有办法支持我们 |
[01:52] | He can barely support his giant head. | 他的脖子都要”支持”不住自己的大头了 |
[01:55] | See, that’s the kind of stuff | 像这样的句子 |
[01:56] | you’re gonna have to stay away from. | 就是你等会最好别说的句子 |
[02:02] | What’s this about? | 这是演哪出 |
[02:03] | Last time you were smiling, | 上次你们对我笑 |
[02:05] | I almost lost an ear. | 我差点失去了一只耳朵 |
[02:08] | Well, my Hollywood money has finally arrived, | 我好莱坞的款项终于到账了 |
[02:11] | and as you know, Han, Max and I want to | 阿憨 你也知道 我和麦克斯 |
[02:13] | convert the cupcake window into a dessert bar. | 想把小蛋糕窗口转型为甜品酒吧 |
[02:16] | And as you know, I want to convert you two into waitresses. | 而你也知道 我想把你俩转型为服务员 |
[02:21] | Come on, Han, it won’t affect the diner at all. | 别这样 阿憨 这完全不会影响到餐厅 |
[02:24] | All we want to do is use the dish room– | 我们只是想借用一下洗碗盘间 |
[02:25] | home of two of the three original strands of E. Coli. | 三种原生大肠杆菌中其中两种的发源地 |
[02:30] | It’s a no. | 我拒绝 |
[02:31] | My therapist said this had to be the year | 我的心理医生说今年我得 |
[02:33] | of standing up for myself and cutting out soda. | 为自己站出来 以及少喝汽水 |
[02:36] | All right, well go ahead, stand up. | 行啊 那你站起来吧 |
[02:41] | But because I would like to see you make someone else miserable, | 但我十分乐意看到你们俩去祸害别人 |
[02:45] | I know a real estate agent | 所以我能介绍个房产中介 |
[02:47] | that could help you two find a new space. | 能帮忙你们找到新店面 |
[02:49] | Did you say “Real estate Asian”? | 你说的是房产”中介”还是”中国” |
[02:53] | Her name is Evie, and I know her from my church. | 她的名字叫依薇 我在教会认识的 |
[02:56] | And let’s just say she’s been angling | 只能说她对我的腰下悬挂之物 |
[02:59] | for what I’ve got dangling. | 垂涎已久 使出各种套路 |
[03:04] | Your keys? | 你的钥匙吗 |
[03:08] | She likes me, you shrews! | 智障 她喜欢我好吗 |
[03:11] | Okay, well that’s what we get for being nice. | 好吧 我们对他好就是这下场 |
[03:13] | So back to the dessert bar, | 继续说甜品酒吧 |
[03:15] | did you get the pictures I sent you of those cool stools? | 你有收到我发给你 很酷的凳子图吗 |
[03:17] | I saw the subject heading was “Cool stools,” | 我看到信件主旨是”很酷的凳子[大便]” |
[03:20] | and I thought you finally shattered our last boundary. | 我还以为你连我们最后一点底限都打破了 |
[03:23] | Here, give me your phone. | 把你的手机给我 |
[03:26] | I can’t find the stools. | 我找不到凳子图了 |
[03:28] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |
[03:30] | I can’t believe what I’m seeing. | 我真没想到会看到这个 |
[03:31] | Is it that dog driving? | 狗狗开车的图吗 |
[03:34] | No, why do you still have a picture | 不是 是你的手机里为什么 |
[03:35] | of your ex-boyfriend on your phone? | 还存有你前男友的照片 |
[03:37] | You swiped on my phone? | 你居然左右滑乱看我的照片 |
[03:40] | What if I had something embarrassing in there? | 万一里面有羞羞的照片怎么办 |
[03:42] | Like a tasteful hoo-ha shot? | 比如我娇艳欲滴的”鲍”照 |
[03:45] | Why do you still have a picture of Randy on your phone? | 为什么你手机里还有兰迪的照片 |
[03:48] | The guy who broke up with you in L.A. using a therapist? | 这个示意心理医生跟你分手的洛城男 |
[03:51] | This bespeaks of an unresolved longing. | 这表现出了藕断丝连之情 |
[03:54] | Be-stop be-talking right now. | “婊”砸最好”表”说话了 |
[03:57] | I am gonna delete them, I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. | 我有打算要删掉的 只是还没空删而已 |
[04:00] | Like being nice to people. | 比如我也没空对别人好 |
[04:05] | Oh, my God, this is too weird. | 天啊 这也太邪门了 |
[04:07] | -What? -It’s Randy. | -怎么了 -是兰迪 |
[04:08] | Does Max work here? | 麦克斯是在这工作吗 |
[04:10] | This smells like the place she described. | 这里闻起来像她形容的那样 |
[04:13] | That smell’s how I find my way to work every day. | 我每天上班都是靠这味儿来导航的 |
[04:19] | What is he doing here? I don’t want to see him. | 他来这里干嘛 我不想见到他 |
[04:21] | Then don’t turn around, ’cause he’s right behind you. | 那就别转头 因为他就在你身后 |
[04:24] | Max? | 麦克斯 |
[04:31] | Good to see you. | 很高兴再见到你 |
[04:32] | You’re not gonna turn around? | 你不准备转过身来吗 |
[04:35] | No, I’m good. | 不了 |
[04:39] | You’re not gonna turn around for that guy? | 你不愿意为这男人转身吗 |
[04:41] | I mean, I would turn around for that guy. | 我是你 我就为他”转弯”了 |
[04:45] | See on the board you have some specials. | 看到公告上你们有特餐 |
[04:48] | I guess I’ll have the sloppy…job? | 那我就点一份碎牛”喃”三明治 |
[04:53] | It’s “Joe.” | 是”腩” |
[04:55] | Sometimes my “E”S look like “B”s. | 有时候我的”月”写得像”口”字旁 |
[04:58] | Clearly, I need to start writing the specials on the board. | 显然以后写公告特餐这事 还是我来吧 |
[05:02] | You know what, just give me the meat…load? | 这样吧 我就点一个肉”现”卷 |
[05:06] | That one, sadly, is spelled right. | 可悲的是 还真是”现”而不是肉”馅” |
[05:10] | Randy, what are you doing here? | 兰迪 你来这里干嘛 |
[05:12] | Lawyer stuff. I’m in town for the weekend. | 律师工作 这周末来这出差 |
[05:14] | My client, Tony Bennett, is suing Lady Gaga | 我的传奇歌手委托人要告女神卡卡 |
[05:16] | for making him uncool. | 害他变得不酷炫 |
[05:19] | And I thought I’d come by and see if Max wanted to see me. | 然后顺路过来看看麦克斯想不想见我 |
[05:22] | I guess I also wouldn’t mind a cup of hot caca. | 我也不介意来喝一杯热”卡卡” |
[05:27] | Max… you’re not gonna turn around? | 麦克斯 你真的不转身吗 |
[05:32] | Okay. Guess I better go. | 好吧 那我走了 |
[05:34] | Well, bye. | 再见 |
[05:35] | Bye. | 再见 |
[05:42] | Damn it! | 我靠 |
[05:46] | Fell for the ol’ Scooby Doo fake footsteps. | 又被卡通史酷比狗的假脚步声招数骗了 |
[05:51] | -How are you? -I’m great. | -你好吗 -好极了 |
[05:54] | Never been greater. | 从来没这么好过 |
[05:55] | Max, I need someone to clean up | 麦克斯 我需要人去清理 |
[05:57] | the baby-changing station in the ladies’ room. | 女厕里的婴儿换尿布区 |
[05:59] | -We don’t have one. -We do now. | -我们没这区域 -现在有了 |
[06:04] | I guess I better let you get back to work. | 那我就不打扰你工作了 |
[06:08] | If you want to see me, give me a call. | 如果你愿意见我 就打给我 |
[06:10] | Tony has dinner and goes to bed around 3:30. | 托尼下午三点半就吃完晚饭睡觉了 |
[06:16] | Randy thinks he can just show up with his face | 兰迪觉得他就这么带着他的帅脸 |
[06:20] | and his body and his muscular-but-not-too-thick neck | 好身材 外加精壮不显粗的脖子 |
[06:22] | and think I’m gonna forget that he dumped me? | 来我面前 我就会忘了他甩掉我的事吗 |
[06:25] | Max, don’t say “dumped.” | 麦克斯 别说”甩” |
[06:26] | Say “kicked to the curb.” It’s kinder. | 要说”散伙” 比较没这么狠 |
[06:29] | Oh, Max, we have an unattended package situation. | 麦克斯 我们有个没人管的可疑包裹问题呢 |
[06:32] | Not unlike that homeless guy we just passed on the stoop. | 跟刚才无人管的露鸟[包裹]流浪汉简直一样 |
[06:36] | Wow, that’s the biggest box I’ve seen | 我好久没看到这么大的盒子[阴户]了 |
[06:39] | since I accidentally clicked on a “big, beautiful women” porn. | 上次还是意外点开《大胖美女》黄片的时候呢 |
[06:43] | It stops being an “accident” | 真正的”意外”不会是 |
[06:45] | when you wake me up by yelling, | 你扯着嗓子把我叫醒 |
[06:47] | “Hey, check out this ‘big, beautiful women’ porn!” | 说”快来看这部大胖美女的黄片” |
[06:49] | Well, this is exciting. | 这好刺激啊 |
[06:51] | I haven’t had a surprise delivery | 我好久没有惊喜包裹[产子]了 |
[06:52] | since that baby I felt was just Chipolte. | 上次我原以为是吃辣拉稀呢 |
[06:55] | Chipolte. | 还吃辣呢[墨西哥菜] |
[06:58] | Max, that never really happened, right? | 麦克斯 你刚说的不是真的吧 |
[07:00] | Whatever makes you sleep sounder, sweetheart. | 亲爱的 你喜欢哪个答案就信哪个 |
[07:03] | Never happened. | 那就是不是真的 |
[07:05] | Oh, good God! It’s three kinds of popcorn! | 天啊 是三合一口味爆米花 |
[07:08] | And all kinds of disappointment. | 还有十成十的失望 |
[07:11] | Crazy? | 疯狂吧 |
[07:12] | You’ve got your standard butter, | 有经典黄油味 |
[07:14] | you got your sweet, sweet caramel, | 甜滋滋的焦糖口味 |
[07:16] | and finally, the popcorn that needs no introduction, | 以及最后这不需任何介绍的爆米花口味 |
[07:19] | cheese! | 起司 |
[07:21] | Cheese-us, that’s good. | 我的起司神啊 太好吃啦 |
[07:24] | It’s from Randy. | 是兰迪送的 |
[07:25] | “I know it’s corny, but I miss you. | “这么做’爆’老套 但我很想你 |
[07:28] | Love, Randy.” | 爱你的兰迪” |
[07:29] | Oh, great, so he’s a great writer too? | 我去 他还很会写情书吗 |
[07:32] | Why am I mad at him again? | 我为什么生他气来着 |
[07:34] | All right, he obviously knows your sweet spot | 好了 他很明显知道你的弱点就是 |
[07:36] | is the grocery aisle at Rite Aid, | 连锁药店的食品杂货 |
[07:38] | but I am not gonna let junk food cloud your judgment again. | 但我不能再次让垃圾食品影响你的判断力 |
[07:42] | Like that time you donated blood for a chocolate chip cookie. | 就像上次你为了拿巧克力碎饼干而去捐血 |
[07:45] | Hey, I also got orange juice. | 我还喝到了柳橙汁好吗 |
[07:53] | Hey, girls. | 安安 姑娘们 |
[07:55] | Max, this was delivered upstairs for you. | 麦克斯 你的东西寄错寄到楼上去了 |
[07:59] | Uh, sorry about the bite marks, | 抱歉上面有咬痕 |
[08:00] | but the baby a whiff of the pimento loaf and said, | 但我的宝宝闻到了味道就说 |
[08:04] | “Oh, I just got to have it.” | “我一定得来一口” |
[08:07] | “I know I was a jerky, | “我知道我是个’腊’圾 |
[08:10] | so let me say sorry with salami.” | 所以用意大利腊肠向你赔罪” |
[08:12] | What, does Randy have, like, a team of writers | 怎么 兰迪是手下有一帮段子手 |
[08:14] | working on these things? | 在帮他写这些双关语情书吗 |
[08:15] | Randy? | 兰迪吗 |
[08:16] | You mean that hot guy with the muscular neck? | 你是说那个脖子精壮的帅哥吗 |
[08:20] | Muscular, but not too thick. | 精壮又不显粗 |
[08:22] | Yeah! | 对啊 |
[08:23] | He’s trying to win you back with salamis | 他想用意大利腊肠与脆饼 |
[08:25] | and delicious biscotti? | 来重获你的芳心吗 |
[08:27] | There’s no biscotti in here. | 里面没看到有脆饼啊 |
[08:29] | Oh, yeah, well… | 这个嘛… |
[08:31] | the baby needed something sweet. | 宝宝说想吃点甜的 |
[08:34] | Oh, my gosh. | 我的天啊 |
[08:36] | The baby just kicked. | 宝宝踢了我 |
[08:39] | Oh, that brings me so much joy. | 我好开心啊 |
[08:43] | It did it again! | 他又踢了 |
[08:46] | My gosh. | 天啊 |
[08:47] | Hey, I think it’s following the salami! | 他好像是在跟着腊肠动 |
[08:56] | Thank you so much for showing us the space today, Evie. | 谢谢你今天带我们来看店面 依薇 |
[08:59] | I’m sure Max will be here any minute. | 我确定麦克斯很快就到了 |
[09:01] | It’s hard for her to be on time. | 很难让她准时出席 |
[09:03] | Or sober for more than an hour. | 或保持清醒一小时以上 |
[09:07] | Well, the pros are the location and the price. | 这里的优点就是地点跟价格 |
[09:09] | And the cons are the 11 people I’m guessing have died in here. | 而我猜缺点大概就是这里死过的十一个人 |
[09:15] | It is a little small, but people like small. | 这里的确有些小 但人们喜欢小东西啊 |
[09:18] | I know I do. | 我知道自己特喜欢 |
[09:22] | And I know I am very curious about the natural light in here. | 而我特想知道这里的自然光怎么样 |
[09:26] | And I can make anything pretty. | 我也可以把任何人事物变美 |
[09:28] | Just ask Suda Mahmoosh from high school. | 问我高中的一字眉印度同学就知道 |
[09:30] | Everyone called her Bert | 她本来绰号”一眉师太” |
[09:31] | till I worked my tweezer magic. | 后来是我用镊子让她”眉开”眼笑 |
[09:34] | Well, you have to act now, because there are three other | 你们得立马决定 因为有另外三个 |
[09:37] | very attractive offers on the table. | 非常有吸引力的竞标者 |
[09:39] | And one wants to take me on a cruise. | 而其中一个想带我去坐游轮呢 |
[09:44] | What did I tell you? | 我怎么告诉你的 |
[09:45] | She’s undressing me with her eyes. | 她用眼神把我的衣服一件件扒掉 |
[09:49] | Well, I’m buttoning you back up with mine. | 我用我的眼神帮你把衣服一件件穿上 |
[09:54] | Oh, I have to take this. | 我得去接个电话 |
[09:55] | And Han? | 对了 阿憨 |
[09:57] | 抱紧我 干我 | |
[10:02] | What did she say to you in Korean? | 她刚才用韩文跟你说的什么呀 |
[10:04] | ‘Cause she was coming at you hard. | 她对追求你 可是干劲十足啊 |
[10:06] | That she wants me to come at her hard. | 她想要我对她”干”劲十足 |
[10:09] | Well, what’s the problem, Han? | 那到底哪里不好呢 阿憨 |
[10:11] | I mean, she’s cute and she likes you, | 她外表可人 又很喜欢你 |
[10:13] | and it’s not your job to ask why. | 而且你也没资格问为何 |
[10:14] | That’s mine and Max’s. | 这问题应该是我跟麦克斯来问 |
[10:17] | The problem is that she’s from a very conservative family, | 问题就是她来自一个很保守的家庭 |
[10:20] | and she wants to be a virgin when she gets married. | 她想要保持处子之身直到结婚 |
[10:23] | A two-virgin marriage. | 双处婚姻 |
[10:26] | That’s cute. | 多有爱啊 |
[10:27] | Or is it too matchy-matchy? | 还是太像了反而不好 |
[10:30] | No, no, she wants to have sex before marriage. | 不不 她想要在婚前滚床单 |
[10:35] | I’m confused– she wants be a virgin, | 我迷糊了 她想保持处子之身 |
[10:37] | but she wants to have sex? | 可是又想跟你滚床单吗 |
[10:43] | Like an “everything but” situation. | 所以是”除了那里哪都行”的意思 |
[10:46] | So to speak. | 可以这么说 |
[10:48] | She’s found a loophole, and it rhymes with loophole. | 但她找到绕过”前庭”的漏洞 这漏洞也带”庭”字 |
[10:57] | What? | 什么 |
[10:59] | Below the waist, she’s like a mullet– | 她腰部以下基本就像是会所 |
[11:02] | business in the front, party in the back. | 前庭做门面 后庭开派对 |
[11:07] | -Still nothing? -Yeah, I got it! | -还没懂吗 -我懂了 |
[11:10] | I just don’t want to talk about it. | 我只是不想讨论这事 |
[11:13] | This is a conversation you need to have with a man. | 这种事情你应该跟一个男人讨论 |
[11:16] | And when Max gets here, | 所以等麦克斯哥来了 |
[11:19] | I’m sure she’ll make fun of you | 我敢肯定她会先取笑你 |
[11:21] | and then tell you what to do. | 然后教你怎么做 |
[11:23] | I’m sorry, Caroline. The space just got rented. | 抱歉 卡洛琳 这店面刚租掉了 |
[11:26] | Spaces don’t stay empty for long around here. | 这附近的店面通常不会闲置太久 |
[11:28] | Han, can you walk me to my car? | 阿憨 你可以陪我去车那里吗 |
[11:31] | I need help putting something in my trunk. | 帮我把”东西”放进我的”后”车箱 |
[11:37] | I’m right behind you! | 随”后”跟”上” |
[11:41] | I mean… | 我不是那个意思 |
[11:45] | Where are Mickey and Minnie Mouse going? | 小小米奇和米妮要去哪里呀 |
[11:48] | Max, where were you? | 麦克斯 你去哪儿了 |
[11:50] | You’re late, we lost the space, | 你来晚了 这店面没了 |
[11:52] | and I had to learn that our real estate agent | 我还不幸得知 我们的中介 |
[11:54] | wants to have sex with Han, but remain a… | 想跟阿憨上床 但又想保持 |
[11:57] | front virgin. | 处子之”前”身 |
[12:01] | Please understand me. | 请理解宝宝的苦 |
[12:03] | Oh, she’s working the ol’ loophole argument? | 她想钻前半身处子的漏洞吗 |
[12:07] | What, you never heard of that? | 怎么 你从没听说过吗 |
[12:09] | The girls at St. Bridget’s invented it. | 圣布里奇特学校的女学生发明的啊 |
[12:09] | 该私立学校为天主教综合制 按理婚前应保持”处子之身” | |
[12:11] | I can’t take any more of this! | 我受不了了 |
[12:14] | That’s what they said! | 她们也是这么说 |
[12:18] | But then they did. | 但后来又”受得住”了 |
[12:22] | Shouldn’t you be coming in through the back door? | 你不是该从”后门”进来吗 |
[12:29] | I got to say, Max, I’m really surprised | 不得不说 麦克斯 我超意外 |
[12:31] | you didn’t cave in and see Randy. | 你没有心软跑去见兰迪 |
[12:33] | You’re showing more backbone than a supermodel. | 模特是瘦骨嶙嶙 你是铁骨铮铮 |
[12:38] | Yup, I’m not gonna see Randy! | 是啊 我才不会见兰迪呢 |
[12:40] | I’m not seeing Randy at all! | 我绝对不会见兰迪 |
[12:43] | Okay, and they say I’m the loud one. | 好啦 别人还说我讲话大声呢 |
[12:46] | Get out of here, Caroline! | 出去 卡洛琳 |
[12:49] | Who I am talking to. | 我在跟你说话呢 |
[12:51] | Uh, can you go outside | 你能去外面 |
[12:53] | and bring me something from outside? | 给我带回点外面的东西吗 |
[12:55] | – Like what? – Oh, I don’t know. | -比如什么 -我不知道 |
[12:57] | A souvenir from Coney Island. | 康尼岛的纪念品 |
[12:59] | An old woman’s hat from Manhattan. | 曼哈顿老太太的帽子 |
[13:02] | Okay, sure. Outside stuff, got it. | 好吧 外面的东西 懂了 |
[13:04] | Thanks. Take your time. | 谢啦 不用着急回来哈 |
[13:09] | What are you still doing here? | 你怎么还在这里 |
[13:10] | You said you were just gonna take as shower and leave. | 你说你洗个澡就走了 |
[13:12] | I was waiting for the water to get hot. | 我在等水变热啊 |
[13:14] | Took four hours! | 等了足足四个小时 |
[13:17] | You have to go before Caroline gets back. | 你得在卡洛琳回来之前走 |
[13:19] | Wow, I haven’t snuck out of an apartment | 我好久没偷偷溜出一间公寓了 |
[13:21] | since I helped my friend escape Scientology. | 上一次还是帮我朋友逃出科学神教 |
[13:24] | Well, she’s back. And you two are busted. | 她回来了 你们俩被抓奸了 |
[13:27] | I knew he was in here. | 我就知道他在这儿 |
[13:28] | I saw his 12-pack in my phone | 我刚在沙发上玩自拍 |
[13:30] | when I was taking a couch selfie. | 从手机里看见了他的12块腹肌 |
[13:33] | And you let him use my towel? | 你居然还让他用我浴巾 |
[13:35] | It’s also my sheet/dress for summer weddings. | 那还是我的床单 兼夏日婚礼的裙子 |
[13:40] | Okay, you know what? | 好 这样吧 |
[13:41] | I’m gonna get out of your dress | 我去脱掉你的裙子 |
[13:42] | and give you two a minute. | 顺便给你俩一分钟时间 |
[13:45] | I can’t believe you had sex with Randy. | 真不敢相信你又跟兰迪睡了 |
[13:48] | More than just sex! | 不止是”睡”了哦 |
[13:49] | Stay out of this! | 别插嘴 |
[13:51] | You said you were gonna mull it over. | 你说你会好好考虑 |
[13:52] | Weigh the pros and cons. | 权衡利弊 |
[13:54] | You know, before you came here, | 在你来之前 |
[13:56] | I used to date pros and cons. | 我都是跟职业罪犯[利]和骗子[弊]在一起 |
[13:58] | I’m not used to thinking about stuff | 我不擅长思考事情 |
[14:01] | and making sound judgments. | 然后做出合理的判断 |
[14:03] | I just found out last year there are instructions on medicine. | 我去年才知道原来药瓶上还有说明 |
[14:07] | Well, I’m sorry if I want what’s best for you. | 抱歉我希望你能得到最好的 |
[14:10] | Just throwing this out there– | 我插个嘴 说件事 |
[14:12] | got a great job, nice house, | 我有一份很棒的工作 一栋很好的房子 |
[14:13] | full-fledged AAA member since 1998. | 自98年起我就是美国汽车协会的资深老司机 |
[14:18] | Please, this is between me and Max. | 请别插嘴 这是我和麦克斯之间的事 |
[14:20] | We have to figure out what to do about you two. | 我们得想清楚你们俩该怎么办 |
[14:23] | Well, I-I like him, but I don’t want to get hurt again. | 我是喜欢他 但我不想再次受到伤害 |
[14:27] | See? Those are pros and cons. | 瞧 这就是利弊 |
[14:30] | This is exciting. | 这真让人兴奋 |
[14:32] | What’s going on out there? | 外面是什么情况 |
[14:33] | ‘Cause it kind of sounds like I’m on trial. | 听起来我好像在接受审判 |
[14:36] | You know what? This is a big decision. | 算了 这是一个重要的决定 |
[14:38] | Maybe we should all just sleep on it. | 或许我们该睡一觉 明天再决定 |
[14:40] | Isn’t sleeping on it what got me in trouble in the first place? | 不就是因为”睡”才让我现在惹了一身骚吗 |
[14:49] | I thought of another pro for Randy. | 我想到了兰迪的另一个优点 |
[14:51] | He looks like a man from the front and from the back. | 前后看他都是爷们 不会前后不一 |
[14:55] | Very rare in these times. | 当今年代很少见了哟 |
[14:58] | Okay, I’ll put it on the list. | 好 我会把这点记到表上 |
[15:01] | Oh, no, this is my list of reasons to stay alive. | 不 这是我活下去的理由表 |
[15:04] | You should know I’m down to one. | 我该告诉你 上面只剩一个理由了 |
[15:08] | Evie found a small place in Brooklyn she wants you to see. | 依薇想带你俩去看看布鲁克林的一个小地方 |
[15:11] | As for the small place she wants me to see, | 她也想我去看她的”小地方” |
[15:14] | I haven’t decided. | 但我还没决定 |
[15:16] | Caroline, let’s get some pros and cons going | 卡洛琳 我们来讨论一下 |
[15:19] | for Han taking the A-train. | 憨姥姥游”后庭”的利弊吧 |
[15:21] | I mean, this is the closest to a vagina | 这是你离阴道最近的一次亲密接触 |
[15:24] | that any of us ever thought you’d be. | 我们从来没想过你会有此等机会 |
[15:27] | So if I decide to pass, | 那么如果我决定不上呢 |
[15:29] | you won’t think less of me? | 你们会小看我吗 |
[15:31] | Han, that would be impossible. | 阿憨 你已经小到不能再小了 |
[15:35] | Hey, everybody. | 大家安安 |
[15:39] | You know, you get a seat on the subway if you’re pregnant | 如果你怀孕了 地铁上会有人给你让座呢 |
[15:41] | and willing to sit on an old person’s lap. | 只要你愿意坐到老人的大腿上 |
[15:45] | Sophie, what’s a seven-letter word for–oh, hell. | 苏菲 想一个7个字母的词 算了 |
[15:48] | Three years is too long to spend on one crossword. | 估计你想出答案得三年 太久了 不值当 |
[15:54] | According to my mom, | 在我妈看来 |
[15:55] | it’s too long to spend in third grade too. | 念三年级也很浪费时间 不值当 |
[15:58] | Carol, come to my booth. | 小卡 来我卡座 |
[16:00] | I think my baby’s gonna kick again. | 我的宝宝好像又踢我了 |
[16:01] | Uh, Sophie, we’re kind of working. | 苏菲 我们在工作呢 |
[16:03] | Oh, you got a job? | 你居然有工作啊 |
[16:09] | Hey, there. | 你好 |
[16:10] | I’m, uh, here for Max. | 我来找麦克斯 |
[16:12] | Oh, and 14 across? | 还有第14个词是 |
[16:14] | Papaya. | 木瓜 |
[16:15] | Damn! I’m back in! | 靠 老子又重燃希望了 |
[16:19] | Randy, we actually haven’t come to a decision yet. | 兰迪 我们还没商量出决定呢 |
[16:22] | Well, I want my day in court. | 我想上庭 |
[16:24] | Oh, you could have mine. It’s the third. | 我的名额送你 已经是第三次要上庭了 |
[16:27] | As you know, I’m a lawyer. | 你们都知道 我是一名律师 |
[16:28] | And I usually don’t practice in a courtroom | 通常我不会在一个 |
[16:30] | that serves something called pork chip. | 供应猪”牌”的法庭实战 |
[16:33] | But if I’m gonna be on trial here, | 但如果我要在这里接受审判 |
[16:35] | I’m gonna make my case. | 那我要为自己辩护 |
[16:36] | Okay, but let me just say– | 好吧 但我要说… |
[16:37] | Do you want the list of pros and cons? | 你需要我的利弊表吗 |
[16:38] | I got this. | 不用 我能行 |
[16:39] | I need to make sure that I can trust you | 我需要确定我能放心再把 |
[16:41] | with my best friend’s heart again. | 我闺蜜的真心交给你 |
[16:43] | Oh, my God, that was pure Good Wife. | 天啊 这活脱就是《傲骨贤妻》啊 |
[16:48] | Max, go have a seat in Sophie’s booth. | 麦克斯 去苏菲的卡座坐着 |
[16:50] | That’s fine, but I’m getting some of that pork chip. | 没事 但我想来些猪”牌” |
[16:54] | It’s good, baby. | 味道不错 宝贝 |
[16:55] | It comes with a side of ass potatoes. | 这道菜还会配有土豆”泥巴” |
[17:01] | Randy. | 兰迪 |
[17:02] | You live in L.A. Max lives in New York. | 你住在洛杉矶 麦克斯住在纽约 |
[17:05] | Did you or did you not say you’re bad | 你有没有说过 |
[17:08] | at long-distance relationships? | 你不擅长谈异地恋 |
[17:10] | I did. | 说过 |
[17:11] | And did you or did you not say | 你有没有说过 |
[17:13] | that you’re just in town for the weekend? | 你只是来这里待个周末 |
[17:16] | Well, I did say that– | 这话我的确说过 |
[17:17] | Ma’am, do you or do you not see me | 女士 你有没有看见 |
[17:19] | conducting a mock trial up in here? | 我在进行模拟审判呢 |
[17:23] | Randy, did you or did you not | 兰迪 你有没有 |
[17:26] | break up with Max using a therapist because… | 示意一名心理医生来跟麦克斯分手 因为… |
[17:30] | you couldn’t do it yourself? | 你自己说不出口 |
[17:35] | -Well, I– -Answer the question! | -我… -回答我的问题 |
[17:38] | Yes. | 有 |
[17:39] | Caroline, girl, you are good. | 卡洛琳 你好牛逼 |
[17:43] | Where were you when I got arrested | 当年我因为身为黑人 |
[17:44] | for being black in Tacoma? | 在华盛顿州被捕时 你在哪里 |
[17:49] | You’re living in L.A., Max is living in New York, | 你住在洛杉矶 麦克斯住在纽约 |
[17:51] | and you’re both living in denial | 你们俩都在否认现实 |
[17:53] | if you think a relationship can work. | 明明这段感情就无法维持 |
[17:55] | May I approach the booth and mount my defense? | 我能走近卡座 为自己辩护吗 |
[17:59] | You mounted the defense three times yesterday. | 你昨天进行了三次”高潮”水平的辩护 |
[18:04] | Objection! Kissing the witness! | 反对 亲吻证人 |
[18:06] | What the hell is going on out here? | 你们在外面搞什么鬼啊 |
[18:09] | They are putting that white Billy Dee Williams on trial. | 他们在审判这个白人版的比利·迪·威廉姆斯 |
[18:16] | You’re right, I did hurt her. | 你说的没错 我的确伤害了她 |
[18:19] | Breaking up with her using a therapist was a bad decision. | 示意心理医生跟她提分手 是一个错误的决定 |
[18:22] | Breaking up with her at all was a bad decision. | 跟她分手 本身就是一个错误的决定 |
[18:26] | And why should she trust me if I’m just gonna | 她为什么要相信我 如果我只是 |
[18:27] | blow into town for the weekend and leave? | 来这里待个周末就走了呢 |
[18:30] | Well, for a lawyer, | 你作为一个律师 |
[18:31] | you’re not making a great case for yourself. | 论点貌似是在给自己挖坑跳啊 |
[18:34] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
[18:35] | I mean, if I were you, | 如果我是你的话 |
[18:37] | I’d just take my shirt off right now. | 我会立马脱掉我的上衣 |
[18:42] | And the truth is… | 而真相是 |
[18:44] | I’m not here on business. | 我不是来这里出差 |
[18:46] | Tony Bennett isn’t suing Lady Gaga. | 托尼·班尼特没有告女神卡卡 |
[18:48] | Although he should. I’m just not involved. | 尽管他该告 但不关我事 |
[18:52] | I came to New York for the weekend | 我这周末来纽约 |
[18:55] | to see Max. | 是为了见麦克斯 |
[18:56] | And she’s the reason I’m gonna stay | 她也是我要留在纽约 |
[18:58] | in New York for a month | 整整一个月的原因 |
[19:00] | to see if we can make this work. | 看看这段感情能不能够继续 |
[19:03] | I think that should count as two pros. | 我觉得那算是两个加分点 |
[19:10] | You’re really gonna stay here for me? | 你真的会为我留在这里吗 |
[19:12] | I couldn’t stop thinking about you. | 我总是情不自禁想你 |
[19:15] | I didn’t even delete your photos off my phone. | 我甚至没有删掉手机里你的照片 |
[19:19] | Well, that’s pathetic. | 你也太丢人了吧 |
[19:25] | So I think I found the perfect space for your dessert bar. | 我找到了超适合你们甜品酒吧的地方 |
[19:28] | It’s got to be better than the other holes you showed us. | 肯定比你之前带我们去看的那”地洞”好吧 |
[19:30] | Well, it’s in the trendiest part of Williamsburg, | 它处于威廉斯堡最潮的地方 |
[19:32] | cheap, and the landlord is a really nice guy. | 租金便宜 房东是一个非常好的人 |
[19:36] | It’s so close to the diner. | 这里离餐厅好近 |
[19:37] | Won’t it be weird if we run into Han? | 如果撞到阿憨 会不会很尴尬啊 |
[19:39] | And not with a car? | 我是指不是用车撞的时候 |
[19:41] | Okay. This is it. | 好了 就是这里 |
[19:43] | Hello! | 你们好呀 |
[19:45] | Oh, no, I hate puppet shows. | 靠 我讨厌木偶戏 |
[19:49] | Evie, this isn’t available, it’s a cupcake shop. | 依薇 这不行 这是小蛋糕店 |
[19:51] | Unless those two girls finally gave up. | 除非那两个女孩终于放弃 但那是不可能滴 |
[19:54] | I’ve decided to let you expand. | 我决定让你俩扩张 |
[19:57] | Evie convinced me to do things outside my comfort zone. | 依薇说服我走出舒适区 做一些不同的事情 |
[20:01] | Yes, I did. | 没错 |
[20:03] | How ’bout that, Caroline? | 你看看 卡洛琳 |
[20:04] | We’re not the only ones she showed a dingy, dark hole to. | 除了我们 她还给别人看了肮脏的黑”地洞” |
[20:08] | Get your minds out of the gutter. | 收起你的淫秽思想 |
[20:10] | She took me to hot yoga. | 她是带我去做热瑜伽 |
[20:12] | He vomited two “oms” in. | 他唱颂两下他就吐了 |
[20:14] | But at least he tried. | 但至少他敢于尝试 |
[20:16] | So who knows what’s next? | 所以谁知道接下来会试什么呢 |
[20:18] | Well, I’ve never had lobster. | 我从来没吃过龙虾 |
[20:21] | Han, are you sure about this? | 阿憨 你确定要这么做吗 |
[20:22] | You’ll let us build our dessert bar here? | 让我们在这里开甜品酒吧 |
[20:25] | I’m sure I’ll regret it almost immediately. | 我确定我应该马上就会后悔 |
[20:28] | Han, I would hug you right now, | 阿憨 虽然我现在很想抱你 |
[20:29] | but the cons outweigh the pros. | 但弊大于利 |
[20:32] | This is gonna be the coolest bar! | 这肯定会成为最酷的酒吧 |
[20:34] | We just have to get rid of that. | 我们只需把这玩意弄走 |