| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Earl, I noticed you’re still alive. | Earl 我发现你还活着呢 |
| [00:05] | What’s your secret? | 有什么秘诀吗? |
| [00:07] | Well, it’s my positive attitude, | 嗯 其实这要归功于我积极的生活态度 |
| [00:09] | a little bit of genetics, | 一点好基因 |
| [00:10] | and knowing how to take care of your body. | 还有懂得如何照顾自己的身体 |
| [00:13] | I use jojoba. | 我用荷荷葩 |
| [00:15] | What is that, like a lotion? | 那是啥玩意儿 类似于乳液? |
| [00:17] | No, it’s a ho named hoba. | 不 其实是一个叫荷葩的小姐 |
| [00:21] | She comes over once a week. | 她每个礼拜来一次 |
| [00:35] | Max, you just got box delivered at home. | Max 有人给你快递了个包裹到家里 |
| [00:37] | I don’t want another box. | 我可不想要什么大包裹了 |
| [00:39] | I got my hands full with this one. | 这个已经够我受的了 |
| [00:41] | I used to have so many packages delivered to my house, | 以前我家里一天到晚收快递 |
| [00:44] | My dad had to buy Fedex just to save money. | 我爸为了省钱把把联邦快递都给买了下来 |
| [00:47] | I remember a time before mail. | 我记得在邮件被发明之前 |
| [00:50] | You just didn’t get stuff. | 你什么都拿不到 |
| [00:52] | Nope. I don’t want that. | 不 我不要 |
| [00:54] | It’s a delivery from my mother. | 这是我妈给的 |
| [00:56] | The last thing she delivered was me, | 我妈只给过我生命 |
| [00:57] | and I’m still cleaning up that mess. | 让我到现在还在收拾这烂摊子 |
| [01:01] | Aren’t you at least curious what she sent? | 你难道不好奇她给你送了什么吗? |
| [01:03] | Unless it’s a brand new childhood, | 除非这是一个崭新的童年 |
| [01:05] | I’m not interested. | 我不感兴趣 |
| [01:07] | Here, Earl, hold Max’s box. | Earl 拿着Max的”大包裹”吧 |
| [01:09] | But she’s like a daughter to me. | 我可是把她像女儿那样对待啊 |
| [01:14] | Look, Caroline, I brought in my fish tank, | Caroline 你看 我把我的鱼缸带来了 |
| [01:17] | Which Max has been calling my Olympic-size swimming pool. | Max说它是我的奥林匹克规格的游泳池 |
| [01:23] | See, Han? The world’s different above sea-level. | Han 看到了吧 海平面上的世界大不一样 |
| [01:32] | Now, come over here and say hello. | 过来 打个招呼 |
| [01:35] | I’m saying hello to fish now? | 我现在要跟小鱼打招呼? |
| [01:36] | That’s where I’m at? | 我已经沦落到这地步了? |
| [01:38] | You too, Max. | 你也是 Max |
| [01:39] | I want my diner family to meet my fish family. | 我想让我的餐馆见人来见见我的小鱼家人 |
| [01:41] | I got an aunt that drinks like a fish. | 我有个阿姨水喝得跟鱼一样多 |
| [01:43] | Maybe she’s in there. | 也许她就在这里面 |
| [01:45] | Oh, no, she’s in jail for vehicular manslaughter. | 才不会 她因为开车撞死人进了监狱 |
| [01:49] | Please enjoy my ecosystem of love. | 来享受一下我的爱的生态系统吧 |
| [01:52] | Never tap on the glass! | 不要敲玻璃! |
| [01:56] | Just look at that meaty paw of yours. | 看看你那肉嘟嘟的爪子 |
| [01:58] | It’s like an earthquake to them. | 这对它们还说就像是地震 |
| [02:01] | Oh, there’s my prize. | 哦 这是我的奖品 |
| [02:03] | The royal blue tang fish. | 这条是皇家蓝吊鱼 |
| [02:04] | $500. | 五百美元 |
| [02:06] | Han, I’m not surprised you have to pay for blue tang, | Han 你去找人给你吹箫我并不意外 |
| [02:09] | but $500 seems high. | 但五百美元似乎太贵了 |
| [02:12] | Hey Han, jojoba’ll do it for 25. | 嘿 Han 我那个小姐只要25美元 |
| [02:16] | Well, I hope your fish will be very happy here. | 好吧 我希望你的鱼在这里能过得开心 |
| [02:19] | I mean, no one else is, but who knows. | 其他人在这都不开心 不过谁知道这鱼呢 |
| [02:21] | Let’s go, Max. | 我们走 Max |
| [02:33] | Did Oleg take Liam Neeson’s daughter? | Oleg把连姆·尼森的女儿给绑架了吗 |
| [02:39] | I’m breaking up with all my ladies | 我正在和全部女朋友分手呢 |
| [02:40] | so I can start up again with Sophie. | 这样我才能和Sophie重新开始 |
| [02:42] | And Oksana’s not taking it lying down, | 可是这个Oksana不肯屈服 |
| [02:44] | or bent over like she usually is. | 或是像她从前那样俯低身子 |
| [02:49] | Well, I’m sorry I never got to meet her. | 好吧 可惜我没见到她 |
| [02:52] | Just tell her that you and Sophie have decided to be… | 就告诉她你和Sophie已经决定… |
| [02:55] | What’s the Ukrainian word for “monogamy”? | 在乌克兰语里”一夫一妻制”怎么说? |
| [02:56] | There isn’t one. | 没这个词 |
| [02:58] | You’re either ugly or you’re sleeping with everyone. | 你要么丑得没人要 要么睡遍天下 |
| [03:10] | Uh-uh. No way. | 绝对不行 不行 |
| [03:11] | Leave it out here. | 把它留在外面 |
| [03:13] | Let the bomb-squad figure it out. | 让拆弹部队去处理它 |
| [03:16] | Don’t you wanna know what she sent you? | 你难道不想知道她送你了什么吗? |
| [03:17] | Maybe there’s money in there. | 可能那里面有钱 |
| [03:24] | So you’re just gonna leave it out in the hall | 所以你就打算把它留在走道上 |
| [03:25] | like a room service tray? | 就像留给客房服务处理的垃圾? |
| [03:27] | Oh, my god, I used to have room service. | 哦 天啊 我曾经有客房服务 |
| [03:30] | Oh, my god, I used to have a room. | 哦 天啊 我曾经有自己的房间 |
| [03:33] | Well, I don’t want it in the apartment. | 好吧 我可不希望它在我公寓里 |
| [03:35] | This is a place of positive energy and good vibes. | 这是一个充满正能量的地方 |
| [03:42] | I’m sending it back to her tomorrow. | 我明天把它送回去 |
| [03:45] | I will go to my shallow, unmarked grave | 直到我被随便埋葬的那一天 |
| [03:49] | not knowing what’s in that box. | 我都不要知道这包裹里有什么 |
| [03:54] | Hey, Max, you got a box out here, | 嘿 Max 你门外有个箱子 |
| [03:56] | and there’s a bear in it! | 里面还有只小熊呢! |
| [04:00] | Oh, my god. | 哦 天啊 |
| [04:03] | She kept that? | 她还留着那个? |
| [04:04] | How did my mom ever keep that? | 我妈怎么还留着那个? |
| [04:06] | She can’t even keep her teeth. | 她连她的牙齿都保不住 |
| [04:09] | That’s what was in the box? | 箱子里就这个? |
| [04:10] | A teddy ruxpin doll? | 一个泰迪熊玩偶? |
| [04:12] | Are you registered at mustybears.com? | 你在发霉熊网注册了? |
| [04:16] | Not a doll and not his name. | 这不是一个玩偶 他有自己名字的 |
| [04:18] | I had it legally changed T-rux. | 我把它的名字正式改为T-rux |
| [04:20] | I used the same lawyer my mom hired | 我用的是我妈的那个律师 |
| [04:22] | to declare me native american so she didn’t have to pay | 他说只要我宣称是印第安人 |
| [04:24] | for parking at the casino. | 那么她就不用付赌场的停车费 |
| [04:27] | For six months, I had to answer the phone, | 六个月来 我接电话时都得称自己为 |
| [04:29] | “Max Proudfoot.” | 麦克斯·光荣脚 |
| [04:32] | You know, in Poland, we didn’t have dolls. | 你知道吗 在波兰 我们没有玩偶 |
| [04:36] | Yeah, we just hired little gypsy kids | 我们就雇佣一些吉普赛孩子 |
| [04:37] | and we carried them around. | 然后带着他们到处跑 |
| [04:40] | Yeah, mine was called Gurgio. | 对了c 我的那个叫Gurgio |
| [04:43] | Yeah, and I think uh, he had a little bit of polio. | 而且 我觉得他有小儿麻痹症 |
| [04:50] | Hey, didn’t those things talk? | 嘿 这种东西不会说话吗? |
| [04:52] | They did if you had four “c” batteries. | 如果给它装上四个栅偏压电池就会说话了 |
| [04:54] | Wait, I think I have some. | 等等 我觉得我好像有这号电池 |
| [04:56] | Yup, they came with this adorable teddy bear | 是的 这只可爱的泰迪熊 |
| [04:58] | singing cassette, so of course, | 本身自带有会唱歌的磁盘 |
| [04:59] | I smashed that with a rock and made my own. | 不过我把它砸了 然后自己给安装了一个 |
| [05:03] | Yeah, my Gurgio didn’t talk. | 我的Gurgio不会说话 |
| [05:06] | I’m not sure he had a tongue. | 我都不知道他有没有舌头 |
| [05:10] | But he used to squeeze me really tight. | 但他总是紧紧地抓着我 |
| [05:14] | And then I found out later, he was 35. | 后来我发现 他已经35岁了 |
| [05:21] | You had four “c” batteries in your nightstand? | 你床头柜里有四个栅偏压电池? |
| [05:23] | From what? | 从啥玩意抠出来的啊 |
| [05:33] | Do you wanna hear the bear talk or don’t you? | 你到底想不想听这只熊说话 |
| [05:40] | Oh, I’m sorry, girls. | 哦 女孩们 对不起啦 |
| [05:41] | I gotta take this. | 我得接这个电话 |
| [05:43] | It’s another guy that I’m breaking it off with. | 这是另一个我要分手的男人 |
| [05:47] | I sure hope Oleg’s worth it. | 我希望Oleg值得我这么做 |
| [05:49] | I just dumped a guy with multiple personalities. | 我刚刚甩了一个多重人格的男人 |
| [05:53] | Yeah, and he took it okay, | 于是他的三个反应是 没问题 |
| [05:55] | and not great, | 不太好 |
| [05:57] | and pretty bad. | 以及很伤心 |
| [06:02] | There’s no note or anything. | 里面连张纸条也没有 |
| [06:04] | This box is really just a well of disappointment. | 这就是个让人失望的包裹 |
| [06:07] | Why would your mother send you this? | 你妈妈为啥要寄这个给你? |
| [06:09] | Why would she do anything? | 她做事哪有为啥? |
| [06:11] | Why would she bite our dog? | 你说她为啥咬我家的狗? |
| [06:15] | Why would she make out with our jack o’lantern? | 还和我家的南瓜灯亲热? |
| [06:17] | I don’t know. | 我哪知道 |
| [06:20] | Well, Max, she did send you your favorite toy | Max 在这么多年之后 她把你最爱的 |
| [06:21] | after all these years. | 玩具寄给了你 |
| [06:23] | Maybe she’s trying to make amends. | 说不定她想做出补偿呢 |
| [06:24] | Oh, make amends? | 做出补偿? |
| [06:25] | She couldn’t even make me a sandwich. | 她连个三明治也做不出来 |
| [06:28] | Okay, you ready? | 准备好了? |
| [06:30] | I know you are, but what am I? | 我知道你是 但我呢? |
| [06:34] | Oh, my god. Max, is that you? | 哦 天啊 Max 那是你吗? |
| [06:36] | Is that your little Max voice? | 那是小Max的声音吗? |
| [06:39] | Careful, I’m about to open up a can of whoop ass. | 小心点 我准备放臭屁啦 |
| [06:43] | It is you! How old were you there? | 就是你! 那时你几岁了? |
| [06:46] | Ten. “whoop ass” was kind of my thing. | 十岁 “臭屁”是我那会儿的口头禅 |
| [06:49] | Still is. | 现在也是 |
| [06:50] | I mean, I guess I always knew you were a little kid once, | 我当然知道你也有童年 |
| [06:53] | But I couldn’t picture it till I heard that. | 但直到听到你的声音我才想象得到 |
| [06:55] | Like I couldn’t picture me eating fruit | 就好比我从来想象不到自己 |
| [06:56] | From an Exxon station till I did that. | 有一天会从加油站拿水果吃一样 |
| [07:07] | So, are you two ready to order? | 你们准备好点单了吗? |
| [07:09] | Oh, yeah. I’ll have the turkey club with fries. | 嗯 我要火鸡三明治配薯条 |
| [07:12] | This is why you’re single, Rita. | 这就是你没人要的原因 Rita |
| [07:16] | I’m not single. I’m married to your father. | 我有人要的 我嫁给你爸爸了 |
| [07:18] | I love you, but stop pushing your lifestyle in my face. | 我爱你 但不要把你的生活方式强灌给我 |
| [07:23] | I’ll have the salad. Dressing on the side. | 我要一份沙拉 配上蘸酱 |
| [07:25] | Obvs. | 显然的么 |
| [07:30] | Obvs, obvs. | 显然的啦 显然 |
| [07:33] | Well, I’m sending T-rux back to my mother. | 我要把T-rux寄回给我妈 |
| [07:36] | He’s going right into this empty box | 我在Han办公室里找到的空箱子 |
| [07:38] | I found in Han’s office. | 正好装得下它 |
| [07:39] | And Max, before you send it back, | Max 你寄回去之前 |
| [07:41] | I’m gonna need those batteries. | 先把电池还给我 |
| [07:43] | Oh, don’t worry, I have no desire to see you | 哦 别担心 我没兴趣看你 |
| [07:46] | hugging the milkshake machine. | 和震动奶昔机玩抱抱 |
| [07:51] | Oh… my… god! | 哦… 我的… 天啊! |
| [07:53] | Is that a teddy ruxpin doll? | 那只是华斯比泰迪熊吗? |
| [07:56] | Rita, I want that! | Rita 我想要! |
| [07:57] | Your birthday just passed, Elliot. | 你刚过完生日 Elliot |
| [07:59] | But my coming out party is coming up. | 可我的出柜派对就快到了 |
| [08:04] | What is that, like a queen-ceanera? | 那是什么 女孩成人礼之类的? |
| [08:08] | So bitchy. Love her. | 真婊 我喜欢她 |
| [08:12] | A vintage teddy ruxpin is worth like, $500, | 一只旧华斯比泰迪熊差不多值500美元 |
| [08:15] | And my mom works, so she has to buy my love. | 我妈妈有工作 所以她得花钱买我的爱 |
| [08:18] | One more word, and I’m taking away spa day. | 再多嘴 我就取消你的水疗日 |
| [08:22] | That’s harsh, honey. | 真残酷 亲爱的 |
| [08:25] | He’s obsessed with the ’90s. | 他对90年代特别着迷 |
| [08:27] | But you weren’t even born. | 那会儿你还没出生呢 |
| [08:29] | I know. I blame her. | 我知道 都怪她 |
| [08:30] | She couldn’t find a man till late in life. | 直到人老珠黄才找到男人 |
| [08:33] | There go the pedicures. | 美甲也取消掉了 |
| [08:35] | There go my sandals. | 凉鞋穿不了咯 |
| [08:38] | As much as I love watching Will and Grace, | 虽然我挺喜欢看真人版”威尔和格蕾丝” |
| [08:38] | “威尔和格蕾丝”, 1998年美剧, 其中男主角为同性恋, 女主角为异性恋 | |
| [08:43] | this guy’s not for sale. | 但这只熊不卖 |
| [08:44] | I’m sending him back to my mother’s place, | 我得把它寄回我妈妈那儿 |
| [08:46] | which, according to the Rhode Island parole office, | 根据罗德岛假释处的记录 |
| [08:48] | is a cardboard shanty town outside of big lots. | 位于必乐透杂货店外面的一个纸板房 |
| [08:53] | Well, here’s my card. | 这是我的名片 |
| [08:55] | And let’s face it, you look like you could use $500. | 面对现实吧 你看着就像是及需五百美元 |
| [09:02] | So bitchy. Love him! | 真婊 我喜欢他! |
| [09:06] | I was just offered $500 for T-rux | 刚刚一个幼版的基佬安德森·库珀 |
| [09:10] | from baby anderson cooper. | 想用500美元买我的T-rux |
| [09:14] | He has cards? | 他还有名片? |
| [09:16] | I’m jealous of a nine-year-old? | 我居然嫉妒一个九岁的孩子? |
| [09:17] | That’s where I’m at? | 我都沦落到啥地步了? |
| [09:19] | Hey, as much as I would like that $500, | 嘿 虽然我很想要这500美元 |
| [09:22] | my mother doesn’t get to think this bear | 可我绝不能让我妈妈以为 |
| [09:24] | gets to make up for my childhood. | 靠一只熊就能弥补我的童年 |
| [09:26] | She doesn’t get off that easy. | 才不能这么便宜了她 |
| [09:28] | Trust me, we shared a pullout couch for nine months. | 相信我 我们俩曾经在一张沙发上睡了9个月 |
| [09:31] | Girls, can I see you over here? | 姑娘们 能过来一下吗? |
| [09:33] | I can’t believe we have to talk to the fish again. | 简直不敢相信我又要去和鱼说话了 |
| [09:35] | I can’t believe Max hasn’t put Han in the tank yet. | 简直不敢相信Max竟然还没把Han按进鱼缸里 |
| [09:41] | Max, Caroline, every night from now on, | Max和Caroline 今天开始每个晚上 |
| [09:43] | I need you to move the skimmer along the top of the water | 我都要你们用网兜清扫水面 |
| [09:46] | and take out the floating matter. | 撇取漂浮物 |
| [09:47] | Han, you know I’m off diner poop patrol for life | Han 自从被迫清扫老人用过的便池后 |
| [09:51] | after I had to clean the booth where the senior left… | 我就再也不干餐厅粪便清扫员的活了吧 |
| [09:55] | Well, we’ll just call it an elderberry. | 打扫那种像烂透了的桨果 |
| [10:01] | Well, Caroline, Max said no, so you have to do it. | 好吧 Caroline Max不肯 所以归你了 |
| [10:04] | Han, you’re kind of a baller around your fish. | Han 一走到鱼缸边你就成了大佬 |
| [10:07] | All right, I’m gonna do this fast. | 好吧 我速战速决 |
| [10:08] | Get in and get out… | 冲进去冲出来… |
| [10:10] | Same thing I do when that bird is in our shower. | 就和上次浴室里有鸟一样 |
| [10:12] | Pick up, Max. | 拿一下 Max |
| [10:14] | Look, I’m calling to tell you I met somebody else | 我打来是想告诉你 我和别人一起了 |
| [10:16] | so I’m breaking up with you. | 所以我和你分手了 |
| [10:18] | Now put your mother on. I’m breaking up with her too. | 现在把电话给你妈妈 我和她也要分手 |
| [10:25] | I can’t believe this. | 简直不敢相信 |
| [10:27] | I’m a cabana boy for fish. | 我现在成了鱼的海滨服务生 |
| [10:31] | I guess now I can add “fish poop remover” | 这回我能在简历的”最高法院实习生”下面 |
| [10:33] | to my resume next to “supreme court intern.” | 加上”鱼粪清洁工”这一条了 |
| [10:38] | I feel like there was a fish in that last one. | 最后那一下好像舀出了一条鱼 |
| [10:42] | Yup. | 没错 |
| [10:44] | Oh, no, it’s the expensive one! | 哦 天啊 是贵的那条! |
| [10:46] | That’s so me. | 真是我的一贯风格 |
| [10:48] | I really didn’t expect to see you digging through garbage | 我真没想到能在你30岁前 |
| [10:50] | till you were 30. | 看到你翻垃圾 |
| [10:53] | Oh! Ah! Ugh! It’s still alive! | 哦! 啊! 它还活着! |
| [10:56] | I need to keep her wet. | 我得让它保持湿润 |
| [10:58] | Oh, covered in tuna, that’s gotta be traumatic for it. | 哦 被金枪鱼糊了一身 肯定得有皮肉伤了 |
| [11:06] | I feel like it went down the drain. | 我感觉它好像滑下下水道了 |
| [11:09] | It was an accident. I swear. | 这是个意外 我发誓 |
| [11:11] | I love fish. I would never hurt one. | 我喜欢鱼 我绝不会伤害它们 |
| [11:14] | Unless you count eating sushi, ’cause then I’m like | 除非你算上吃寿司 因为我会吃得 |
| [11:15] | Jack the Ripper. | 比开膛手杰克杀人还凶残 |
| [11:17] | Caroline, are things going swimmingly? | Caroline 一切都还好吗? |
| [11:19] | Jack, he’s talking to you. | 杰克 他在和你说话呢 |
| [11:21] | Uh, oh, yeah. Swimmingly. | 呃 哦 是的 一切都好 |
| [11:24] | Especially the blue one. | 特别是蓝色那条 |
| [11:25] | He went in his little house. | 它躲进自己的小房子里了 |
| [11:27] | He doesn’t like to use the restroom | 它不想让其他小伙伴 |
| [11:28] | In front of his friends. | 看到它在上厕所 |
| [11:30] | Yeah, we’re a lot alike. | 是啊 我和它很有共同点的 |
| [11:38] | Thank you so much for seeing us so quickly. | 谢谢您这么快接见我们 |
| [11:40] | Sure, you guys can just wait in here. | 没事 你们先在这等着 |
| [11:42] | Elliot’s finishing up with his pilates. | Elliot正在做普拉提 快结束了 |
| [11:45] | Do yourselves a favor. | 给你们提个醒 |
| [11:47] | Tell him his core looks tight. | 记得赞他的核心肌群相当紧实 |
| [11:55] | Max, I’m so sorry you have to sell T-rux | 马克思 对不起 害你要卖掉T-rux小熊 |
| [11:57] | For the fish money because of me. | 帮我凑钱买鱼 |
| [12:00] | Talked to the fist, because the face is pissed. | 生气中 直接看拳吧 |
| [12:03] | I’m getting attitude from a bear? | 连熊都敢给我脸色? |
| [12:04] | That’s where I’m at? | 我已经沦落到这种地步了? |
| [12:07] | I can’t believe all this stuff he has from the ’90s. | 他有这么多90年代的东西 太神奇了 |
| [12:10] | I can’t believe he has to have a party to come out. | 他出柜都要开派对 我也是醉了 |
| [12:14] | That kid came out, out. | 这娃先出生 再出柜 |
| [12:16] | His umbilical cord is a gucci belt | 我猜他连脐带都是古驰的 |
| [12:20] | Oh…t hese toys! | 哦… 看看这些玩具! |
| [12:23] | This is like looking back at my childhood | 跟我小时候一样样的 |
| [12:25] | But, you know, a time before rainbows became political. | 不过你懂得 我那时候彩虹还没什么政治意义 |
| [12:29] | Oh, my god. Oh, my god. | 天啊 天啊 |
| [12:30] | Oh, my god. | 哦 老天 |
| [12:32] | A my size barbie! | 一个真人比例的芭比! |
| [12:34] | I had ten of these. | 我曾经坐拥十个 |
| [12:35] | Not to play with, they were used as decoys | 不是拿来玩 是以防遇到绑架之际 |
| [12:37] | In case of a hostage situation. | 可以用它们来当替身 迷惑坏人 |
| [12:39] | And now your whole life’s a hostage situation. | 现在你已经被人生绑架了 |
| [12:44] | Sorry I’m late. | 对不起 来迟了 |
| [12:45] | My trainer, Gary, and I got derailed | 我和我的教练Gary聊 |
| [12:47] | Talking about the real housewives of Orange County. | 聊橘郡男孩里的贵妇的真实生活 |
| [12:49] | Your core looks really good. | 你的核心肌群看起来好紧实 |
| [12:51] | I know, honey. | 我知道 亲 |
| [12:53] | Now while I get my check book, say hello to the Olsens. | 我先找我的支票本 你们跟奥尔森姐妹说说话 |
| [12:58] | You got a lot of toys. | 你玩具真多 |
| [12:59] | When I was a girl your age, I only had this. | 我在与你相仿的年纪之时 只有这个 |
| [13:03] | I don’t suppose I could play with my size barbie | 我可不可以和真人芭比玩 |
| [13:05] | For a second. | 那么一下下 |
| [13:07] | I feel like that’s a “no, bitch.” | 你的脸上写着”不行 贱人” |
| [13:09] | I’m not… I’m not just talking about the toys. | 不… 不只是玩具 |
| [13:12] | You got a pretty sweet set-up. | 整个房间的布置都很漂亮 |
| [13:14] | That nice lady out there, giving you everything you want, | 你想要什么 外面的那个好心阿姨都会给你 |
| [13:16] | Taking care of you. | 照顾你 |
| [13:18] | She’s just a mom. Everyone has one. | 就是个妈妈 大家都有 |
| [13:21] | Not really. Some people just have bad ass bears. | 也不一定 有人只有超酷的小熊 |
| [13:26] | Max, are you sure about this? | Max 你确定吗? |
| [13:28] | This is the only thing you have from your childhood. | 这是你童年的唯一纪念 |
| [13:31] | Not true, I have a dent in my skull | 错 我头上还有个坑 圆头锤敲的 |
| [13:32] | From a ball-peen hammer. | 也是童年纪念 |
| [13:36] | The last time I change the channel | 自此我再也不敢在观看 |
| [13:38] | During Three’s company. | “三人行”的时候换台了 |
| [13:41] | Can we fast forward this to me having the bear | 我们动作快点好吗? |
| [13:43] | And you two leaving? | 把熊卖给我 你们就可以走了 |
| [13:45] | Okay, just take it, it doesn’t matter. | 好的 拿去吧 没关系 |
| [13:47] | No, Max. It does matter. | 不行 Max 怎么会没关系 |
| [13:48] | We’re not selling this. | 这熊不能卖 |
| [13:49] | He has enough toys. | 他的玩具够多了 |
| [13:51] | I mean, all I wanted to do was touch the life-size barbie. | 我是说 人家好像摸摸那个真人芭比 |
| [13:54] | Okay, I see what’s happening. | 好的 我知道现在是个什么节奏了 |
| [13:55] | I’ve been down this road with the beanie babies. | 我买豆豆娃娃的时候也遇到过这种情况 |
| [13:58] | I’ll give you 600 for the bear. | 我出六百块 |
| [13:59] | Sold. | 卖了 |
| [14:00] | No, max! That’s your childhood. | 不可以 Max! 那熊是你的童年啊 |
| [14:01] | – 700. – Sold! | – 七百 – 成交! |
| [14:02] | No, Max! | 不行 Max！ |
| [14:04] | Caroline, my childhood is not worth $700. | Caroline 我的童年不值七百 |
| [14:07] | The most my mother ever got for me was 40 bucks | 我妈妈最多给过我四十块 |
| [14:08] | And a big gulp. | 加上一个能量杯 |
| [14:10] | But that’s “little you” in there, Max. | 但是熊里面住着一个小小的你啊 Max |
| [14:13] | And she’s priceless. | 她是无价的 |
| [14:15] | And she’s about to erased and taped over | 这小姑娘绝对会把声音洗掉 |
| [14:16] | by the soundtrack from frozen. | 用来录冰雪奇缘的原声 |
| [14:18] | Frozen? | 冰雪奇缘? |
| [14:19] | Who am I? Me, a year ago? | 你当我谁啊? 去年的我吗? |
| [14:23] | No. Can’t have her. | 不行 不卖 |
| [14:25] | Well, what are we gonna do now about the other child? | 好吧 那另外一个孩子要怎么应付? |
| [14:27] | The one in the diner? | 餐馆里那个老小孩 |
| [14:29] | Well, I guess he’s just gonna have to grow up. | 我想他也该长大了 |
| [14:31] | Grow up? You think if he had that ability, | 长大? 你觉得 他要是有那能力 |
| [14:32] | He wouldn’t have used it yet? | 会留着不用吗? |
| [14:36] | So what… No bear? | 所以… 熊不卖了? |
| [14:39] | Oh, please! You’ll have a bear in your life. | 拜托 你会遇到自己生命中的”熊抱” |
| [14:41] | Trust me. | 信姐没错 |
| [14:53] | All right, Max. | 好吧 Max |
| [14:54] | You’re gonna help me tell him, right? | 你会帮我告诉他 是不是? |
| [14:55] | You like giving him bad news. | 你喜欢告诉他坏消息 |
| [14:57] | No, I like giving him bad news about how he’s short | 不 我只喜欢告诉他短小 |
| [14:59] | and has a big head. | 头又大的坏消息 |
| [15:00] | You know, fun bad news. | 你懂的 那种好笑的坏消息 |
| [15:02] | Exciting news! | 我要宣布一个振奋人心的消息! |
| [15:04] | I got the fishies a new house! | 我给鱼鱼买了房房 |
| [15:06] | I got it cheap. It was a foreclosure. | 是丧失赎回权的抵押品 好便宜的 |
| [15:10] | Uh, Han, can we talk to you over there | 嗯 Han 你能过来吗 我跟你说句话 |
| [15:12] | In the booth… The far booth? | 去卡座说… 最远的那个? |
| [15:14] | Can it wait? I want to put in the new condo | 可以稍等吗? 我要把房子放到鱼鱼的公寓里 |
| [15:16] | So Max will stop calling me a slum lord. | 这样Max就不会管我叫恶房东了 |
| [15:20] | Oh, that can wait, I mean, those fish | 哦 这个不急啊 |
| [15:21] | Aren’t going anywhere. | 这些鱼又不会到处乱跑 |
| [15:23] | Except for the blue one, who’s definitely playing | 除了那只蓝色的 它绝对 |
| [15:24] | Some kind of twisted game of hide and seek. | 是在玩什么诡异的躲猫猫游戏 |
| [15:26] | Oh, yeah, he loves that little house. | 是啊 它超爱那个小房子的 |
| [15:28] | He’s going to love this one even more. | 那这个它一定会更喜欢 |
| [15:31] | Max, can you join me? | Max 你可以过来陪我吗? |
| [15:32] | I’m pretty busy waiting on tables right now. | 人家在端盘子 好忙的 |
| [15:37] | Okay, what’s going on? | 好了 现在是什么情况? |
| [15:38] | Max has never waited on a table in her life. | Max这辈子就从来没正经端过盘子 |
| [15:42] | Max, I need you over here. | Max 我需要你 快过来 |
| [15:44] | I’m just putting down this grilled cheese | 人家正在端烤奶酪 |
| [15:46] | ‘Cause I don’t want it to get cold. | 再不端 就冷了 |
| [15:48] | Now I’m freaking out! | 我这会儿要吓尿了! |
| [15:51] | Max, don’t do this to me. | Max 不要这样对我 |
| [15:52] | I know where the bodies are buried, literally. | 我知道你把那些尸体都埋在哪里的 真的 |
| [15:55] | I move them every six months. | 我每六个月都会挪一次 |
| [15:58] | Well, what is it? | 好了 是什么事? |
| [15:59] | Han, sometimes in life, things happen | Han 人的一生总会碰上一些事情 |
| [16:02] | That you don’t want to happen. | 一些不如意的事情 |
| [16:04] | Yes. | 没错 |
| [16:07] | And even though it’s hard, you know, | 即使很难面对 但你要知道 |
| [16:08] | You just have to face up to it. | 你还是不得不面对 |
| [16:10] | I suppose. | 应该是吧 |
| [16:13] | Oh, dear god, this is rough. | 天啊 真不容易 |
| [16:17] | And, well… | 那个… |
| [16:19] | Han, I don’t wanna have to tell you this, | Han 我真的不想跟你说这事 |
| [16:21] | I know this is the last thing you ever want to hear… | 我知道这是你最不想听到的事情… |
| [16:23] | Oh, just say it! | 快说吧! |
| [16:24] | The tampon machine is broken again. | 卫生棉机器又坏了 |
| [16:30] | Later, I’ll get my blindfold and fix it. | 我等会儿会戴上眼罩去把它修好 |
| [16:34] | Word of advice? | 想听建议吗? |
| [16:35] | When you do finally kill me, | 如果你最终真的把我杀了 |
| [16:37] | You gotta work on your game face for the cops. | 你要在警察面前摆出一副不正经的样子 |
| [16:39] | Max, please. | Max 别这样 |
| [16:41] | I can’t tell Han I murdered his fish. | 我没法对Han说我弄死了他的鱼 |
| [16:42] | I can’t. | 我说不出口 |
| [16:43] | Well, I can’t tell him either. | 我也说不出口 |
| [16:45] | Oh, hell, I’ll tell him. | 别争了 我去跟他说 |
| [16:46] | I’m a black man, everyone already assumes I did it. | 我是个黑人 大家总会以为是我干的 |
| [16:52] | Thank you. Thank you so much. | 谢谢 非常感谢 |
| [16:54] | It’s just a fish. He’ll be fine. | 这不过是条鱼 他会没事的 |
| [16:57] | I’ve decided I’ll give blue the new house | 我决定待会儿在小蓝鱼的生日派对上 |
| [16:58] | at its birthday party later. | 送它一间新房子 |
| [17:01] | It’s the damn fish’s birthday? | 今天是那条鱼的生日? |
| [17:04] | I’m out. | 我不干了 |
| [17:07] | And you’re all invited. | 你们都被邀请了 |
| [17:10] | Blue’s two years old today. | 小蓝鱼今天两周岁了 |
| [17:11] | They don’t usually live that long. | 它们通常活不了那么久 |
| [17:14] | No, they do not. | 对 确实活不了 |
| [17:17] | That’s it, we can’t tell him. | 看他这样 我们怎么说得出口 |
| [17:19] | Even at Han’s age, which I am guessing | 虽然我猜Han的年纪 |
| [17:21] | is somewhere between 14 and 53, | 是在14到53岁之间 |
| [17:26] | Some kids just aren’t ready to grow up. | 但有些孩子还没准备好长大 |
| [17:28] | What are we gonna do? | 我们要怎么办? |
| [17:29] | We’re gonna run out and buy a new one. | 我们应该跑出去 买条新的 |
| [17:31] | Where are we gonna get the money? | 我们去哪儿弄钱? |
| [17:33] | Oleg, you know how two years ago | Oleg 你还记得两年前 |
| [17:36] | you offered me $1,000 for a back rub? | 你付一千美元让我给你按背吗? |
| [17:38] | Of course. | 当然 |
| [17:39] | Caroline will do it for $500. | Caroline给你按背 只收五百 |
| [17:43] | Deal. One last hurrah. | 成交 最后的狂欢 |
| [17:45] | Over the clothes, above the waist, | 隔着衣服 只按腰部以上 |
| [17:47] | And I don’t know why, but you have to wear a condom. | 虽然说不上理由 但你必须穿避孕套 |
| [17:55] | Yes, father Dominic Rosello, please. | 没错 请找Dominic Rosello神父 |
| [17:59] | Oh, he’s celebrating mass? | 他正在庆祝弥撒? |
| [18:01] | Oh yeah, could you just tell him that Sophie Kachinski | 好吧 你能不能告诉他Sophie Kachinski |
| [18:05] | is converting to monogamy? | 正向一夫一妻转变? |
| [18:08] | And uh, she won’t be kneeling at his altar anymore. | 她不能再跪倒他的圣坛前面了 |
| [18:14] | Oh, yeah, yeah, he’ll understand. | 对 就这么说 他会明白的 |
| [18:19] | Where’s Han and does he know? | Han在哪儿 他知道了吗? |
| [18:20] | No, but I can’t keep pretending I see that fish. | 不知道 但我没办法继续假装我还看见那条鱼 |
| [18:24] | I’m a pot-head with a touch of glaucoma. | 我有青光眼又整天抽嗨了 |
| [18:26] | I’m seeing stuff that’s not there. | 我看见不存在的东西 |
| [18:28] | Not seeing stuff that’s there | 却看不见存在的东西 |
| [18:30] | It’s confusing. | 我都糊涂了 |
| [18:32] | Okay. Come on, come on. | 好吧 过来 |
| [18:34] | Put it in, put it in, put it in. | 放进去 放进去 |
| [18:36] | I have a whole new respect for every guy | 我对每一个跟你约会过的人 |
| [18:37] | that’s ever gone out with you. | 产生了新的敬意 |
| [18:40] | Happy birthday, blue! | 生日快乐 小蓝鱼! |
| [18:42] | Happy birthday. Happy birthday, blue. | 生日快乐 小蓝鱼 |
| [18:47] | Where’s blue? | 小蓝鱼在哪儿? |
| [18:49] | I haven’t seen her all day. | 我一整天都没看见它 |
| [18:50] | I just saw it. | 我刚刚看见了 |
| [18:51] | Yeah, it was definitely there. | 对 它肯定在那里 |
| [18:53] | You’re not gonna give blue that cupcake | 难道你不给蛋糕拍个照 |
| [18:55] | without a photo-op, are you? Where’s your ipad? | 就直接给小蓝鱼? 你的平板电脑呢? |
| [18:57] | I just saw it. Yeah, it was definitely there. | 我刚刚看见了 没错 它肯定在那里 |
| [19:00] | Yeah, Han, go! | 是啊 Han 去拿平板! |
| [19:01] | You need a pic so you can post it on facebook | 你需要拍张照 这样你就能放上脸书 |
| [19:03] | or fishbook or whatever. | 或者鱼书之类的 |
| [19:05] | Good idea. Here, hold this. | 好主意 给你 拿着蛋糕 |
| [19:07] | Hey, Caroline, you look less flat. | 嘿 Caroline 你看起来没那么平了 |
| [19:10] | You finally get that boob job you needed? | 你终于去做了隆胸手术了? |
| [19:16] | I feel like the baggy broke. | 我觉得是袋子破了 |
| [19:18] | Yup, that’s what happens when you get the cheap implants. | 对 你用便宜填充物的话就会这样 |
| [19:24] | Oh, my god, there is definitely something | 天啊 真的有东西 |
| [19:26] | moving around in my bra. | 在我胸罩里动 |
| [19:27] | Well, it’s good you can still recognize that feeling. | 你还认得这种感觉 也算是件好事 |
| [19:31] | It’s right… Oh! Oh! I touched it! | 没错… 哦! 哦! 我摸到了! |
| [19:33] | Gross! | 真恶心! |
| [19:34] | Someone, put your hand in my bra and help me. | 来人把手伸进我的胸罩来帮我啊 |
| [19:37] | Why now? Now that I’m off the market! | 为啥是现在? 现在我已经不干这行了! |
| [19:39] | No, no, no, no, no, no. | 不不不 |
| [19:41] | I’m afraid I’m gonna squish it and kill it again. | 我怕我会把它挤扁然后又弄死了 |
| [19:44] | Okay, just get up on the counter and drop it in the tank. | 好了 直接爬上柜台 把它倒进鱼缸里 |
| [19:49] | What? | 什么? |
| [19:50] | Get up on the counter, spread your legs, | 爬上柜台 打开你的腿 |
| [19:53] | And just let it fall into the tank. | 然后让它直接掉进缸里 |
| [19:57] | You know what? | 你知道吗? |
| [19:59] | Forget the back rub. After this, we’re square. | 把擦背的事忘了 做完这个 我们就扯平了 |
| [20:03] | Okay, straddle the tank, pull out your uniform, | 好了 在鱼缸上叉开腿 拉起你的工作服 |
| [20:05] | And let it go. | 然后让它去吧 |
| [20:07] | Now I owe you money. | 现在我欠你钱了 |
| [20:12] | Just squat over the tank like you’re delivering | 直接在鱼缸上蹲下 就像你正在生 |
| [20:14] | A fish baby. | 一条鱼宝宝 |
| [20:18] | I’m delivering a fish baby? | 我在生鱼宝宝? |
| [20:20] | This is where I’m at? | 我已经沦落到这种地步了? |
| [20:22] | Stop asking. That’s where you’re at. | 别说话了 你已经走到这地步了 |
| [20:35] | Okay, now that I saw, right? | 好了 现在我确实看见了 对吗? |
| [20:40] | Caroline, get down! | Caroline 下来! |
| [20:41] | It’s not that kind of party. | 这不是那种派对 |
| [20:49] | Max, you’re really still gonna send t-rux back? | Max 你真的还要把T-rux送回去? |
| [20:51] | After we got bullied by a kid | 在我们被一个小孩用 |
| [20:53] | with a Tiffani Amber Thiessen pillow? | 蒂凡妮·西森的枕头欺辱之后? |
| [20:55] | Relax, T-rux is right over there by the register. | 别紧张 T-rux还在收银台那里 |
| [20:59] | And by the way, he’s our first employee. | 对了 他是我们的第一个员工 |
| [21:00] | Anytime we get a bone-head customer, he can say, | 一旦我们遇到挑事儿的顾客 它就会说 |
| [21:03] | “talk to the fist… | “看拳吧… |
| [21:04] | ’cause the face is pissed.” | 因为正在生气中” |
| [21:07] | I’m just sending my mother something | 我就是给我妈妈寄了一些东西 |
| [21:08] | to say thank you for everything she gave me | 感谢她在我的童年时期 |
| [21:10] | when I was a child. | 给予我的一切 |
| [21:12] | Aww, what’s in there? | 那里面有什么? |
| [21:13] | Nothing! | 啥都没有! |