| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Max, that car has been parked outside for a week now. | 麦克斯 那台车都在外面停一周了 |
| [00:09] | Do you think they’re selling drugs? | 你觉得他们在贩毒吗 |
| [00:11] | Let me rephrase that. | 我应该这么说 |
| [00:12] | Are they selling drugs to you? | 他们是在贩毒给你吗 |
| [00:15] | No. They’re not buying, either. | 不是 他们也不是来跟我买的 |
| [00:19] | Hi. We have a new mochaccino cupcake. | 你们好 我们有全新的摩卡奇诺小蛋糕 |
| [00:22] | Oh, no. No, no, no. That car’s not with us. | 不 别走 那车跟我们无关 |
| [00:27] | Well, that’s the third customer that didn’t stop | 这是第三次有客人 因为那台放饶舌音乐的车 |
| [00:29] | because of that rap car. | 而直接走掉了 |
| [00:31] | To be fair, this place wasn’t Walmart on Black Friday | 老实说这车没来之前 咱们这里也不是 |
| [00:34] | before the car showed up. | 人挤人的大卖场啊 |
| [00:36] | – I’m gonna go ask it to move. – Cool. | -我要去叫他挪下地方 -有种 |
| [00:38] | I’ll tell your horse you died brave. | 我会告诉你的马你死得勇敢 |
| [00:41] | Stupid, but brave. | 虽然死因很白痴 但勇敢 |
| [00:44] | At least take this pan, | 起码也带上这锅 |
| [00:45] | and cover the part you wanna get shot in the least. | 挡住你最不想被[枪]射的部位 |
| [00:50] | Hi. Can I talk to you for a second? | 您好 能跟您聊两句吗 |
| [00:53] | I need to see your head at all times. | 你的脑袋不许离开我的视线范围内 |
| [00:58] | First of all, | 首先 |
| [01:00] | they’re obsessed with me. | 人家觉得我超正的 |
| [01:03] | Second of all, | 第二 |
| [01:03] | I handled it. | 姐成功搞定了 |
| [01:07] | Have I been shot? | 我不会中枪了吧 |
| [01:12] | 打工 | |
| [01:12] | 打工 | |
| [01:27] | Well, I did it. I saved the neighborhood. | 我成功了 我拯救了这一带 |
| [01:30] | You had a car towed. | 你就是让人把车拖走 |
| [01:31] | You didn’t burn down the Bed Bath & Beyond. | 你又不是把那件破寝具用品店给烧了 |
| [01:35] | It wasn’t the blue one with the tinted windows, | 不会是那辆车窗黑色 车身蓝色的车吧 |
| [01:37] | aka, the murder car? | 又名杀手车 |
| [01:39] | Aka, the murder car? | 就是又名”杀手车”的那辆车 |
| [01:43] | Tell me that’s the name of the make and model, | 告诉我那只是车子车型的别名 |
| [01:45] | like, “The Toyota Murder”” | 像是”丰田杀手款” |
| [01:47] | Are you sure you’re not thinking of the Honda Stabbing? | 你确定那款不是”本田捅人款”车型吗 |
| [01:51] | Caroline, some guy stopped by asking for you | 卡洛琳有个男的来找你 |
| [01:53] | with a festive bandana and a teardrop tattoo. | 他头戴节日头巾 脸上还有泪滴刺青 |
| [01:57] | A festive bandana and a teardrop tattoo– | 节日头巾 还有泪滴刺青 |
| [01:59] | are you sure it wasn’t my mother? | 你确定那不是我妈吗 |
| [02:02] | He said he wanted to talk to you about his car, | 他说他想跟你谈谈他车子的事 |
| [02:04] | so I gave him your number. | 所以我把你手机号给他了 |
| [02:05] | – Han! – I thought he was your friend. | -你不是吧 -我以为他是你朋友嘛 |
| [02:08] | I don’t have friends with tattoos. | 我才没有身上有刺青的朋友 |
| [02:11] | I don’t even have friends with split ends. | 我的朋友甚至连头发都不能有分叉 好吗 |
| [02:15] | You gave a stranger my number. | 你把我的手机号给了陌生人 |
| [02:17] | Your number, your E-mail, and your address. | 不止手机号 还有电邮和地址 |
| [02:21] | What? You’re a busy girl. | 干嘛 你是大忙人 |
| [02:22] | I didn’t know the best way for him to reach you. | 我不知道他用哪种方法才能联系上你嘛 |
| [02:25] | Oh, my God. Max, am I in trouble? | 天啊 麦克斯 我是不是摊上事了 |
| [02:28] | Pick-up, dead meat. | 上菜 死肉一团 |
| [02:31] | What does that mean? | 这话什么意思 |
| [02:32] | It means it’s never a good idea to have | 意思就是叫人拖走车窗全黑的车 |
| [02:34] | a car with tinted windows towed. | 从来都不是个好主意 |
| [02:36] | That’s rule number one. | 这不是天字第一号规矩吗 |
| [02:38] | I thought rule number one was, | 我以为天字第一号规矩是 |
| [02:40] | “always wipe front to back.” | “女生擦屁屁 要从前往后” |
| [02:43] | – Max, I’m worried. – Me too. | -麦克斯 我好担心啊 -我也是 |
| [02:45] | I thought it was back to front. | 我一直以为是从后往前擦 |
| [02:49] | What’s up, Nat King Cool? | 你好吗 纳·京·酷哥 |
| [02:50] | 纳·京·高尔是美国知名杰出黑人钢琴家与歌手 | |
| [02:51] | And, my brother from a Jewish mother. | 我老妈是犹太人的好兄弟 |
| [02:54] | Hey, my daddy that just smoked a fatty. | 我刚抽完一发的老爹 |
| [03:00] | Oh, look, Max, it’s your boyfriend. | 你看 麦克斯 你男友来了 |
| [03:02] | He’s not my boyfriend. We just made out. | 他不是我男友 我们就亲热过而已 |
| [03:04] | I make out with people all the time. | 我整天都有跟别人玩亲热 |
| [03:06] | I made out with a guy in the diner last week. | 我上周还跟餐厅里的男的亲热呢 |
| [03:08] | That wasn’t making out. | 那才不是亲热 |
| [03:10] | He was choking, and you gave him mouth-to-mouth. | 他是噎着了 你给他做人工呼吸 |
| [03:14] | Yeah, but it led to sex. Go away. | 但后来就开房了 走开啦 |
| [03:18] | Hey, Max, I came in to ask you something. | 麦克斯 我来问你点事 |
| [03:20] | They’re natural, and they hurt my back. | 这对巨乳是纯天然的 常害我腰酸背疼 |
| [03:24] | I also wanted to know | 我也想知道 |
| [03:25] | If you want to hang tomorrow night. | 明晚要不要一起出去 |
| [03:26] | We could watch TV with our shirts off. | 我们可以一起裸上身看电视 |
| [03:30] | Maybe. | 看看吧 |
| [03:31] | And I’ll buy you some dinner if you put out. | 如果你愿意献身 我就请你吃晚饭 |
| [03:33] | Ooh, so like a date. | 所以算是约会吗 |
| [03:34] | I’m willing to throw $10, $15 at this thing. | 我愿意为这个花个10到15块钱吧 |
| [03:37] | You want to throw $15 at my thing? | 你愿意为我”那个”花15块钱吗 |
| [03:42] | Great. | 太爽了 |
| [03:44] | I usually charge $5. | 我一般只收5块 |
| [03:47] | You came all the way here to ask me out? | 你大老远跑来就是想约我出去吗 |
| [03:49] | I’m old-fashioned. | 我这人比较老派 |
| [03:51] | Plus, I dropped my phone in the toilet. | 还有就是我手机掉马桶里了 |
| [03:53] | – See ya tomorrow. – Okay. | -明天见 -好 |
| [03:56] | Now go. I have a job to not do. | 走开啦 人家还要偷懒不干活呢 |
| [03:59] | – Okay. – Go, idiot. | -好啦 -快走啦 白痴 |
| [04:02] | Okay, dummy. | 走就走 你个傻瓜 |
| [04:08] | Okay, Han, I can’t hold you up anymore. | 阿憨 我手没劲了 撑不住你了 |
| [04:18] | Max, I think I just saw the murder car go by, | 麦克斯 我好像看到杀手车 |
| [04:20] | out the bathroom window. | 从我们浴室窗子外经过 |
| [04:22] | What exactly did you see? | 你实际上看到了什么 |
| [04:24] | A car. | 一台车 |
| [04:27] | No, seriously, I think it followed me home. | 我是认真的 我觉得他跟踪我回家 |
| [04:29] | Well, three years ago, you followed me home, | 三年前 你也”跟着”我回家啊 |
| [04:31] | so we’re even. | 所以互不赊欠 |
| [04:33] | There you go, Nancy. | 去吃吧 南茜 |
| [04:36] | Okay, I’m off on my date. | 好 我要出门约会去了 |
| [04:37] | You can’t leave me here alone. | 你不能就这么丢下我 |
| [04:39] | There’s a murder car out there. | 外面有杀手车在蹲点杀我呢 |
| [04:40] | Relax. No one is after you. | 别吓唬自己 没人要追杀你 |
| [04:43] | Oh, really? | 是吗 |
| [04:44] | What about the person who yelled, | 那我们回家路上听到的那声 |
| [04:46] | “watch yo back, bitch” when we were walking home? | “罩子放亮点 贱人” 那人又是啥意思 |
| [04:51] | That was me, to that girl scout. | 那是我对女童军喊的 |
| [04:54] | If you tell someone you’re carrying thin mints, | 她们卖饼干时敢说有薄荷味[大麻]饼干 |
| [04:56] | you best be carrying thin mints. | 最好保证是真的有大麻饼干 |
| [05:00] | Max, you’re coming back tonight, right? | 麦克斯 你今晚会回来的吧 |
| [05:02] | I’m kind of afraid. | 我真的有点怕 |
| [05:03] | I’ve never been here alone at night. | 我从来自己晚上一个人在家里待着 |
| [05:04] | If you don’t want to be alone, why don’t you call Han? | 你不想一个人的话 为什么不打给阿憨 |
| [05:07] | Very funny. | 笑死人了 |
| [05:10] | I did. Han’s busy. | 我打过了 他没空 |
| [05:13] | He’s going to a country square dance on Second Life. | 他要在”第二人生”里赴乡村方块舞之约 |
| [05:17] | It’s an online game, | 这是一款网游 |
| [05:18] | but he says it’s more of a lifestyle. | 但他说那更像是一种生活方式 |
| [05:21] | Don’t you have to have a first life | 他现实第一人生都玩不转了 |
| [05:22] | to have a second life? | 还敢学人玩第二人生 |
| [05:24] | Max, please stay. | 麦克斯 求你别走 |
| [05:25] | Call Deke and cancel, | 打给迪克取消约会 |
| [05:26] | or else you might come home to find me in a pool of blood. | 不然你回家可能会看到我倒卧血池之中 |
| [05:29] | Oh, I always wanted a pool. | 我一直想要有个池子呢 |
| [05:33] | – Oh, no, it’s them, here to kill me. – It couldn’t be. | -惨了 是他们要来杀我了 -不可能 |
| [05:35] | I haven’t paid them all the money yet. | 我还没跟他们结清全款呢 |
| [05:39] | Oh, hi, girls. | 姑娘们 |
| [05:43] | You know, I just came from the dentist’s office. | 我刚从牙医那边回来 |
| [05:45] | Did you know that Michael Jackson died? | 你们知道迈克·杰克逊死了吗 |
| [05:49] | 法拉·弗西 活跃于上世纪70年代的美国女星 | |
| [05:49] | Oh, and Farrah Fawcett too? | 还有法拉·弗西也死了吗 |
| [05:52] | Oh, no, I’ve got to sit down. | 不是吧 我得坐下来缓缓 |
| [05:56] | Well, since you’re here, | 既然你都来了 |
| [05:57] | do you want to stay and have a girls’ night? | 你想留下来过个闺蜜之夜吗 |
| [05:59] | Oh, that’s sounds like fun. | 听起来很不错 |
| [06:01] | It’s just me and you. Max has a date. | 就我跟你而已 麦克斯得去约会 |
| [06:03] | And Caroline’s afraid to be alone. | 其实是卡洛琳害怕独处 |
| [06:06] | Well, if you don’t want to be alone, | 如果你害怕独处 |
| [06:09] | then why do you act the way you do? | 那你为啥平常还表现出一副作女样 |
| [06:15] | I got to go meet Deke. | 我要去见迪克了 |
| [06:17] | We are going out to get wasted, | 我们要喝到酩酊大醉 |
| [06:19] | hopefully to the point of blowing chunks on each other’s shoes. | 最好是醉到能往对方鞋子上呕吐那样 |
| [06:22] | But imagine it a little less romantic than it sounds. | 请别把它想象得跟字面上那么浪漫 |
| [06:33] | Well, Caroline, it’s just me and you. | 卡洛琳 就剩我和你了 |
| [06:36] | I know. I thought it’d be fun if– | 对啊 我觉得会挺好… |
| [06:38] | Well, we tried. | 我们尽力了 |
| [06:41] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [06:45] | Don’t go. | 别走啊 |
| [06:45] | Dangerous people are after me. | 有危险人物盯上我了 |
| [06:48] | You know, in Poland, when the Cossacks came, | 在我们波兰 哥萨克人来袭的时候 |
| [06:50] | we would boil water | 我们会煮一大锅热水 |
| [06:52] | and then throw it in their faces | 然后往他们脸上泼 |
| [06:54] | and then make soup. | 然后熬汤喝 |
| [06:56] | Anyway, have a good one. Wait. | 好了 晚安 等等 |
| [07:01] | Hello? | 谁啊 |
| [07:02] | Rula? Yes. | 萝拉 是的 |
| [07:04] | No, I have absolutely nothing to do tonight. | 不忙 我今晚超级无敌闲 |
| [07:10] | Well, Nancy, looks like it’s just you and me. | 南茜 看来今晚我们只有彼此了 |
| [07:13] | Yep, you and me and this magazine from 2009. | 我和你 再加上这本2009年的杂志 |
| [07:18] | Ah, 2009– | 2009年 |
| [07:20] | the last year I had anything. | 那是我当白富美的最后一年 |
| [07:24] | Let’s see, Nancy. | 来看看 南茜 |
| [07:25] | What are we gonna read here? | 来看看里面写了什么 |
| [07:27] | “New York city more dangerous than ever.” | “纽约犯罪率达到历史新高” |
| [07:29] | Okay, that’s it. We’re done. | 够了 不看这破玩意了 |
| [07:33] | That’s just a horn, right? | 只是普通按喇叭吧 |
| [07:35] | Or is it a signal? | 还是这是什么信号 |
| [07:37] | No offense, Nancy, | 南茜 不是看不起你 |
| [07:38] | but we really need a dog in this situation. | 但这情况我们真的很需要一条狗 |
| [07:48] | Oh, guess what. | 你猜怎么着 |
| [07:50] | We happen to be in my neighborhood. | 这里正好是我的地盘呢 |
| [07:51] | Oh, you are smooth. | 你泡妞可真有一套 |
| [07:53] | Also, you aggressively steered me here | 你明摆着硬拉我来这一带 |
| [07:55] | and stopped at a bodega to buy me condoms. | 经过杂货店时还进去给我买了保险套 |
| [07:58] | So you want to come back to my place, and… | 你想要跟我回家 然后… |
| [08:00] | Brown chicken brown cow? | 捅了个洞洞吗[棕鸡棕牛] |
| [08:03] | Brown chicken what? | 捅了个什么来着 |
| [08:05] | You know, “bowm chica wowm wowm,” but I made it… | 本来不是”啪了个啪啪”吗 我改编成 |
| [08:05] | 最早来自歌曲Bow Chika wow wow 后来常被用来表示发情淫荡 | |
| [08:07] | brown chicken, brown cow. | 捅了个洞洞嘛 |
| [08:11] | So you thought of that in your head, | 所以你脑海里想到这个哏 |
| [08:12] | and your brain was like, “That’s okay to say”? | 然后自认为”没事 可以说给她听”吗 |
| [08:15] | No, my brain was like, “don’t say it, | 没 我的脑子在想”千万别说 |
| [08:16] | don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it” | 绝对别说 千万别说” |
| [08:18] | And then it was… | 然后又变成想 |
| [08:19] | Brown chicken, brown cow. | 捅了个洞洞 |
| [08:23] | Well, this is me. | 我家到了 |
| [08:25] | What do you want me to say– | 你想我说什么 |
| [08:26] | “Congratulations. You live in a building”? | “恭喜你 你住大楼里吗” |
| [08:28] | No, that would be lame. I don’t live in a building. | 那样多逊啊 我不住楼里 |
| [08:30] | I live here. | 我住这里 |
| [08:32] | Where? All I see is a dumpster. | 哪里 我就看到一个垃圾箱 |
| [08:34] | Yeah, it’s my apartment. | 对啊 那就是我的公寓 |
| [08:35] | I converted it, and I live inside. | 我把它改装了然后住里面 |
| [08:38] | It’s totally green. | 完全绿色哦 |
| [08:39] | I mean, it’s horrible for the environment, | 不是环保的那种绿色 |
| [08:40] | but it’s the color green. | 是外边油漆是绿色的 |
| [08:43] | Oh, you’re not kidding. | 你真不是在开玩笑啊 |
| [08:46] | You live in a dumpster? | 你真的住垃圾箱里吗 |
| [08:49] | This is usually the part where the girl says | 通常跟我回来的女生都是在这环节 |
| [08:52] | she has to be up early tomorrow | 说她得回家 明早得早起 |
| [08:55] | or call the police. | 或者打电话报警 |
| [08:57] | – So do you have to go? – Yeah. | -所以你也要走了吗 -对啊 |
| [09:01] | I have to go inside the freakin’ cool dumpster. | 我要走进这屌爆的垃圾箱啊 |
| [09:05] | And if you think it’s cool now, watch this. | 更屌的还在后头 你看 |
| [09:14] | My dumpster’s a grower, not a shower. | 我的垃圾箱是”越变越大” 不是”乍看挺大” |
| [09:20] | Holy crap. This is amazing. | 我靠 太赞了 |
| [09:22] | You have a sink in here and a stove. | 你这里面还有水槽跟炉灶 |
| [09:25] | Is it heated in here, or did you teach the rats | 这里面是有暖气 还是你教了老鼠 |
| [09:27] | to shovel coal into the engine? | 怎么铲煤进蒸汽机里 |
| [09:30] | Yes, but there’s also solar panels on the roof. | 没错 还有屋顶上的太阳能板 |
| [09:33] | And a microwave | 还有微波炉呢 |
| [09:34] | and a bathroom right here. | 这里还有马桶呢 |
| [09:37] | You have a microwave next to your toilet? | 你的微波炉放在马桶旁边啊 |
| [09:39] | You’re a genius! | 你真他妈是天才 |
| [09:41] | That’s the smartest way to eat a burrito. | 全天下最聪明的吃辣味墨西哥卷的方法 |
| [09:44] | I think of everything. | 我考虑周到嘛 |
| [09:46] | And if you don’t like your neighbors, | 如果你不喜欢你的邻居们 |
| [09:47] | you push your house to a new street. | 就可以直接把家推到新的街上去 |
| [09:49] | Or you could just kill them | 或者直接杀了他们 |
| [09:50] | and throw their bodies in here. | 然后把尸体都扔这里面 |
| [09:52] | Added bonus–no rent. | 还有个好处 不用租金 |
| [09:54] | And the chinese restaurant next door | 而且隔壁的中餐馆 |
| [09:55] | always tosses their garbage on my roof. | 还老是把他们的垃圾丢来我屋顶 |
| [09:57] | Free delivery, yo. | 免费外送 爽 |
| [10:01] | You don’t have to tell me. | 这里不用你介绍 |
| [10:02] | I read all about this place in “Dumpster Living.” | 我在”垃圾箱生活”上有读过了 |
| [10:06] | I’ll take it. | 我要了 |
| [10:07] | All right, but it comes with a very handsome | 行 但随屋附赠一只 |
| [10:09] | stuffed animal of a man with hair that gets him | 有着被百货保安怀疑跟踪的发型的 |
| [10:12] | followed by security at Macy’s. | 超帅气充气玩偶 |
| [10:15] | I’m not just saying this ’cause you live in a dumpster, | 我这么说 不是因为你住在垃圾箱 |
| [10:17] | but I’ll take some… | 但现在 |
| [10:18] | brown chicken, brown cow right now. | 我的洞洞想被捅几下 |
| [10:25] | So what was your first time having sex in a dumpster like? | 所以你在垃圾箱里的”初体验”感觉如何 |
| [10:28] | A lot like the other times I’ve had sex in a dumpster. | 跟我以前在垃圾箱里的体验很像啊 |
| [10:31] | Next time I’m gonna be naked. | 下一次我就会全裸上场 |
| [10:34] | Next time I won’t be wearing this hat. | 下一次我也不会戴着帽子 |
| [10:38] | I hope you don’t mind. | 希望你不要介意 |
| [10:39] | – I sleep like this. – Aah! Get off me. | -但我都这么睡觉 -放开我 |
| [10:42] | Oh, so nice to have a live body under me for a change. | 换个活人在我身下的感觉就是好啊 |
| [10:45] | Stop! You’re crushing me! | 别弄了 我要被你压扁了 |
| [10:55] | This is really nice. | 这感觉真好 |
| [10:56] | Yeah, it is. | 是啊 |
| [10:58] | – I got to go. – You got to go? | -我走了 -你得走啦 |
| [11:02] | Yeah, I live, uh, all the way over by the diner. | 对啊 我住在餐厅附近那边 |
| [11:05] | Plus, I got to pull these boots on. | 而且我还得穿上这些靴子 |
| [11:08] | And I got a horse and a cat, | 我还有一匹马和一只猫 |
| [11:09] | possibly a dead roommate, so… | 还有个可能挂掉的室友 所以… |
| [11:12] | Right. You got to be up early. | 懂了 你明天得早起 |
| [11:14] | Yeah, but not like that. | 是 但不是你想的那样 |
| [11:15] | It’s just, like– | 就只是… |
| [11:18] | where’s the door handle? | 门把在那里 |
| [11:20] | Is it the coffee pot? | 是这个咖啡罐吗 |
| [11:22] | I can’t get out. | 我出不去 |
| [11:23] | I’m used to climbing out of these things. | 我一般出垃圾箱是用爬的 |
| [11:25] | Ah, it’s right here. | 就在这里 |
| [11:28] | Oh. Sure you don’t want to stay? | 你确定你不留下吗 |
| [11:30] | Chinese restaurant just delivered. | 中餐馆的外卖刚送来了哦 |
| [11:49] | There’s that horn again. | 那喇叭又响了 |
| [11:51] | There is no way this is not about us. | 这绝对跟我们有关 |
| [11:56] | Max, it’s me again. | 麦克斯 又是我 |
| [11:57] | Why do you even have a phone | 你要是都不接电话 |
| [11:58] | if you’re not gonna pick it up? | 要手机来干嘛 |
| [11:59] | And also, you are a grown lady. | 还有 你已经是成年人了 |
| [12:02] | Why is your outgoing message a fart? | 为什么你的彩铃是屁声呢 |
| [12:08] | And I am sure you’re in the middle of | 我相信你现在正忙着做 |
| [12:10] | having very silly sex, | 无聊的性爱 |
| [12:12] | but it is a nightmare around here. | 但家里已经乱成一团 |
| [12:14] | Chestnut, Nancy, and I are all convinced | 栗宝 南茜跟我都觉得 |
| [12:15] | that the murder car is still circling | 那台杀手车在外面打转 |
| [12:17] | and about to take us all out. | 准备把我们全部干掉 |
| [12:19] | So self-involved. | 她这人真自恋 |
| [12:22] | This water is taking forever to boil. | 这水烧开得也太慢了吧 |
| [12:25] | The best I could do now is offer the killers | 我现在顶多也只能给杀手们 |
| [12:27] | warm tea before they dismember me. | 在肢解我前 泡上一壶茶 |
| [12:30] | That’d be funny if you got jokes. | 如果你们能听懂 一定觉得好笑 |
| [12:34] | Okay, guys, here’s the plan. | 两位 计划是这样 |
| [12:40] | If they come in that door, we go out this door. | 如果他们走前门 咱们就从后门撤 |
| [12:43] | If they come in that door, Chestnut, you block them, | 如果他们从后门来 栗宝 你就挡住他们 |
| [12:45] | and, Nancy, you go for their eyes. | 南茜 你就去抓瞎他们 |
| [12:50] | You know what? Let’s just say our good-byes now. | 算了 大难临头各自飞吧 |
| [12:52] | Boil, boil, boil. | 快烧开 快烧开啊 |
| [12:54] | No time! | 没时间了 |
| [12:56] | Whoever you are, I have a pot of pretty hot water! | 门外的人 我手上有锅很烫的水 |
| [13:07] | What is all this junk? | 这堆玩意是怎么回事 |
| [13:09] | My legs! My beautiful legs! | 我的腿 我的美腿啊 |
| [13:23] | I burned my toe cleavage. | 我的脚指沟烫伤了 |
| [13:26] | And it’s the only cleavage I have. | 那是我身上唯一的”沟”呢 |
| [13:30] | If it helps, your toes do look bigger. | 但好歹你的脚趾 看起来的确”大”了 |
| [13:33] | Thank God I have these flip-flops | 幸好我还有这双拖鞋 |
| [13:34] | I used to wear in your shower before I gave up. | 是以前进浴室穿的 后来索性跟你一样不穿了 |
| [13:38] | Yes, hi, I have a complete emergency. | 你好 我的伤势十万火急 |
| [13:41] | My legs are burned. | 我的腿烫伤了 |
| [13:43] | Okay, I hear you. | 好 我明白了 |
| [13:44] | I’ll put you right behind the guy whose legs just came off. | 我帮你排到那个断了腿的男人后面吧 |
| [13:50] | Thank you. I appreciate that. | 谢谢 太感激你了 |
| [13:53] | See, I just got burned with pretty hot water, | 我刚才被很烫的水给烫了 |
| [13:56] | and I wear a lot of peep-toe shoes. | 而我很常会穿露脚趾鞋 |
| [13:59] | – Insurance provider? – I’d like to use my Obamacare. | -健康保险公司是 -用我的奥巴马医保 |
| [14:03] | Oh, Obamacare? Why didn’t you say so? | 奥巴马医保啊 怎么不早说呢 |
| [14:06] | Come right in. | 快进来 |
| [14:11] | What is the problem? | 这态度也变太快了吧 |
| [14:12] | We’re all entitled to Obamacare. | 不是全民都能用奥巴马医保吗 |
| [14:12] | 奥巴马医改方案该法律规定所有人民都应拥有健康医疗保险 而其网站注册的技术问题至今未能完全解决 所以未能全民推行 | |
| [14:13] | That’s what that Rachel Maddow guy said. | 电视上的主持人就这么说的 |
| [14:16] | I’ll need more information than that. | 我需要更多资料 |
| [14:19] | Password, Malia? | 密码是 玛利亚 |
| [14:23] | You clowns need to figure out your insurance information | 你们俩傻逼得先回家 想想你们的健保资料 |
| [14:26] | and come back to me in about two hours | 然后两个小时后再回来 |
| [14:28] | when I’m on my sofa, | 而到时我会在沙发上 |
| [14:29] | drinking whiskey out of a coffee mug. | 用马克杯喝着威士忌等你们 |
| [14:33] | Max, let’s just sit. | 麦克斯 先坐下 |
| [14:34] | They have to take us, by law. | 按法律他们一定得让我们就诊 |
| [14:36] | I know because I used to complain about that. | 我以前常抱怨这点 所以我知道 |
| [14:39] | Max, can you take that flu season pamphlet | 麦克斯你能拿那个流感小册子 |
| [14:42] | – and fan my feet? – No. | -帮我扇扇脚趾吗 -不要 |
| [14:46] | I’m not touching anything in here, | 我才不要碰这里面的任何东西 |
| [14:48] | ’cause I was never vaccinated… | 我从没接打过任何疫苗 |
| [14:50] | or loved. | 或被疼爱过 |
| [14:54] | – Who is it? – It’s Deke. | -谁啊 -是迪克 |
| [14:57] | You’re not gonna answer it? | 你不接电话吗 |
| [14:59] | No, right now, I am very concerned about your legs. | 不要 现在我比较担心你的腿 |
| [15:03] | Aw. You’re lying. | 真会撒谎 |
| [15:06] | What happened between you and Deke? | 你跟迪克怎么了 |
| [15:09] | Why did you even come home tonight? | 为什么你还会跑回家呢 |
| [15:11] | Was the sex bad? | 对”做”得不够好吗 |
| [15:14] | Did you hit him? | 你是不是打他了 |
| [15:23] | No, the sex was fine. | 其实”做”得还行啦 |
| [15:25] | Actually, it was better than fine. | 其实不只是还行 |
| [15:27] | It was great and I wanted to stay. | 而是超棒 而且我也想留下来过夜 |
| [15:30] | – So…? – So I left immediately. | -所以呢 -所以我立刻走人啦 |
| [15:34] | Max, don’t take this the wrong way, | 麦克斯 别误会我意思 |
| [15:37] | but it sounds like you found someone | 但听起来你终于找到了 |
| [15:38] | who finally makes you happy | 一位能让你开心的人 |
| [15:40] | and you’re trying to ruin it. | 但你却故意破坏这段感情 |
| [15:42] | Oh, that’s what this feeling is. | 原来我的感觉是这么回事 |
| [15:44] | – Well, I got to get rid of it. – Why? | -我得抽离这段感情 -为什么 |
| [15:47] | I wasn’t raised to be happy. | 我从小就被培养成不开心的人 |
| [15:49] | I was raised to believe canned meat is as good as it gets. | 我从小就被灌输罐装肉就是最好的肉 |
| [16:00] | Earl, I spilled hot water on my feet. | 厄尔 我的腿被热水烫伤了 |
| [16:02] | You can’t imagine how much pain I’m in. | 你绝对想象不到我正承受着多大痛苦 |
| [16:05] | Well, I kicked heroin in a 7/11 bathroom | 我把自己关在一家7-11的厕所里 |
| [16:09] | for three days. | 戒了三天的毒 |
| [16:11] | But sorry about your burnt tootsies though. | 但你的脚趾被烫到 真是太可怜了 |
| [16:15] | Caroline, sorry I didn’t text you back. | 卡洛琳 抱歉没回你短信 |
| [16:17] | I would’ve come over last night, | 本来我昨晚愿意过去你家的 |
| [16:18] | but my Second Life wife had a baby. | 但我”第二人生”里的老婆生了孩子 |
| [16:21] | I just can’t believe you had | 我真不敢相信 |
| [16:22] | fake sex nine months ago and didn’t tell anyone. | 九个月前你就跟人假做爱了 却一直保密到现在 |
| [16:30] | Excuse me. | 打扰一下 |
| [16:31] | I’m looking for a skinny blonde that works here. | 我想找在这里工作的金发瘦妞 |
| [16:39] | Uh… She died. | 她死了 |
| [16:43] | – She right over there. – Ooh, she came back to life! | -她就在那边 -她复活了 |
| [16:46] | Hallelujah! | 赞美上帝 |
| [16:49] | Hey, I got something for you. | 我有东西要给你 |
| [16:52] | No! | 不要啊 |
| [16:53] | – It’s a mix tape. – No! | -是自制专辑 -不要啊 |
| [17:00] | I made it for you. | 我特别为你制作的 |
| [17:01] | I’m sorry my brother threw that cupcake at you. | 我兄弟拿小蛋糕丢你真是对不起 |
| [17:03] | He’s gluten-free and upset about it. | 他对谷蛋白过敏 所以闹脾气 |
| [17:07] | So can I take you out sometime? | 我有机会带你出去约会吗 |
| [17:10] | Uh… uh, very sweet, and you seem great, | 你这番举动很贴心 你也像是好人 |
| [17:14] | but I’m already in a relationship | 但我已经跟一个戴红头巾的人 |
| [17:16] | with a guy in a red bandana. | 在一起了 |
| [17:26] | No worries. Just thought I’d ask. | 没关系 我就问问 |
| [17:32] | What did you just do? | 你刚才干嘛了 |
| [17:34] | You never say no to a guy with tinted windows. | 永远不要拒绝车窗贴黑的男人 |
| [17:37] | That’s rule number two. | 这是天字第二号规矩 |
| [17:40] | Well, his number’s on here. I can always call him back. | 他的电话在上面 我随时可以找他啊 |
| [17:43] | Then we can both be in relationships | 然后我们就可以一起跟 |
| [17:44] | we don’t want to be in. | 不喜欢的人处对象了 |
| [17:45] | – Relationship? – Deke. | -什么对象 -迪克啊 |
| [17:47] | You’re gonna see him at pastry school tomorrow. | 你明天就会在学校见到他 |
| [17:49] | He’s gonna wanna know. | 他肯定想知道被甩的原因 |
| [17:50] | Guys never wanna know. | 男人从来不想知道 |
| [17:52] | In fact, they are dying not to know. | 他们死都不想知道原因 |
| [17:55] | Max, why’d you leave last night? | 麦克斯 为啥你昨晚要走 |
| [17:58] | I wanna know. | 我想知道原因 |
| [18:00] | I mean, you were all like, “Wham-bam, thank you, man.” | 你昨晚本来都已经是”捅捅捅 谢赏炮” |
| [18:04] | And yeah, my brain was like, “Don’t say it, | 我的脑子刚才也在说”千万别说 |
| [18:05] | don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it,” | 绝对别说 千万别说” |
| [18:07] | but I said it. | 但我还是问了 |
| [18:09] | What’s going on? | 到底怎么回事 |
| [18:11] | Uh… The sex was bad. | 做爱做得太差劲了 |
| [18:15] | What about the scratches on my back? | 那你在我背上留的抓痕是怎么回事 |
| [18:17] | I was trying to get away. | 我是想挣脱 |
| [18:20] | I’ll just leave you two alone. | 我就不当电灯泡了 |
| [18:23] | I’ll just be over here, looking at my mix tape. | 我就在一边看看我的自制专辑吧 |
| [18:25] | Oh, track one, “Make It Nasty.” | 第一首歌 “淫荡点” |
| [18:30] | You’re right, Max. | 你说得对 麦克斯 |
| [18:31] | The sex was bad, really bad. | 昨晚做爱超差劲 超不爽 |
| [18:33] | And it was worse when we did it the second time. | 我们做第二次的时候又更差劲 |
| [18:36] | And that third time was a disaster. | 而第三次简直就是场灾难 |
| [18:38] | I mean, I only lasted 47 minutes, and you screamed. | 我只坚持了47分钟而已 而你尖叫个屁啊 |
| [18:43] | Okay, walking away has to be | 忍痛走远点也比不上 |
| [18:44] | less painful than hearing this. | 听这对话来得难受 |
| [18:47] | No, stay, Caroline. We’ll go outside. | 不用 卡洛琳 我跟她去外面谈 |
| [18:49] | Max, come with me for a second. | 麦克斯 跟我来 |
| [18:51] | I wanna show you something. | 我想让你看个东西 |
| [18:52] | Just whip it out here. | 直接”放鸟”出来吧 |
| [18:56] | You wouldn’t be the first guy to do that tonight. | 反正你也不会是今晚这里第一个露鸟的人 |
| [18:59] | Nor will he be the last. | 也不会是最后一个 |
| [19:06] | Okay, what do you wanna show me? | 你到底想让我看什么 |
| [19:09] | Is that your dumpster? | 那是你的垃圾箱之家吗 |
| [19:12] | Look, you said you couldn’t stay over | 你说你不能留下是因为 |
| [19:14] | because you lived all the way over by the diner, | 餐厅离我那太远了 |
| [19:16] | so I moved it here to figure out | 所以我就把它拖过来 |
| [19:17] | what your next excuse would be. | 看看你下次要用什么借口 |
| [19:23] | Um, I’m racist. | 我有种族歧视 |
| [19:29] | Yeah, me too. White girls are a hassle. | 我也是 白人女最事儿精了 |
| [19:33] | What else? | 还有呢 |
| [19:34] | You have a bird on your shirt. | 你的衣服上有鸟图案 |
| [19:38] | You love it. | 你明明很爱 |
| [19:41] | I do. | 的确 |
| [19:43] | What else? | 还有吗 |
| [19:46] | – I got nothin’. – Good. | -想不出了 -非常好 |
| [19:49] | So what do you say | 所以何不 |
| [19:50] | you stop being such a stupid face, | 别再像个白痴一样 |
| [19:52] | and get your sweet dumper | 赶紧带着你性感屁屁 |
| [19:54] | into my dumpster right now, | 爬进我的垃圾箱吧 |
| [19:55] | where a brown chicken and a brown cow | “棕鸡”跟”棕牛”正耐心地 |
| [19:58] | are waiting patiently for you. | 在里面等着跟你啪啪啪呢 |
| [20:02] | Look. | 听好 |
| [20:03] | If you want me in that dumpster, | 如果你想要我进那垃圾箱 |
| [20:04] | you’ll have to get me there the traditional way. | 你就得用传统的方法带我进去 |
| [20:06] | Duct tape my wrists, | 胶带捆我手腕 |
| [20:07] | throw a bag over my head, and toss me in. | 布袋盖我头 然后扔我进去 |
| [20:14] | – Awful, huh? – So bad. | -很不给力吧 -太差了 |
| [20:17] | Want to do it again later, | 想等会再来一发 |
| [20:18] | and then sleep over tonight, and then do it again? | 然后在这过夜 然后再来一发吗 |
| [20:21] | Sure. | 好啊 |
| [20:22] | Are we ever gonna do it naked? | 我们能有光着身子”做”的机会吗 |
| [20:24] | Yeah, when you move into a place | 等你搬进一个有足够空间 |
| [20:25] | big enough for me to take my pants off. | 让我的巨臀出鞘的地方吧 |
| [20:28] | Look, I got to warn you. | 我得先警告你 |
| [20:30] | I don’t know how to be happy. | 我不知道怎么开心 |
| [20:32] | Then why do you have that big smile on your face? | 那你脸上为什么有这么大的笑容 |
| [20:34] | I’m faking it. | 那是假笑 |
| [20:37] | Why is it shaking? Are we still having sex? | 为什么床还在摇 我们还在做爱吗 |
| [20:45] | Thank you, sir. Enjoy your cupcake. | 谢谢你了 也请好好享用小蛋糕 |
| [20:55] | Max? | 麦克斯 |
| [20:56] | Don’t tow us. This is Deke’s house. | 别拖走我们啊 这是迪克的家 |
| [20:59] | He lives in a dumpster? | 他住在垃圾箱里吗 |
| [21:01] | Yeah, but on purpose. | 是啊 但他是故意的 |
| [21:03] | But you’re coming home tonight, right? | 你今晚还是会回家的 对吧 |
| [21:06] | Max, Max! | 麦克斯 麦克斯 |
| [21:09] | Han? | 阿憨 |
| [21:11] | Han, what are you doing tonight? | 阿憨 你今晚有空吗 |