| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Whoever tipped me in monopoly money | 那个小费给大富翁假钱的混球 |
| [00:04] | can go directly to jail. | 可以死去监狱了 |
| [00:07] | A dollar? | 一块钱假钞吗 |
| [00:09] | Fake money and they’re still under-tipping. | 都用假钱了 他们小费还照样给这么少 |
| [00:18] | Oh, look. I love it when people | 你看 我就喜欢看到 |
| [00:19] | dress guinea pigs up in adorable costumes. | 别人给宠物天竺鼠穿上可爱制服 |
| [00:23] | Han, you look like Babe Ruth. | 阿憨 你看起来像贝比·鲁斯 |
| [00:25] | Well, Baby Ruth. | 不 是婴儿·鲁斯 |
| [00:28] | Maybe you two can kiss my sweet ass, | 滚你们俩丫了个蛋[亲我屁股] |
| [00:31] | because this outfit’s a home run. | 我这制服跟全垒打一样棒好吗 |
| [00:34] | I’m putting a team together for the restaurant league. | 我要组一个队去参加餐厅界棒球联赛 |
| [00:37] | Well, Han, I would play, but you know, | 阿憨 我很乐意加入 但你也知道 |
| [00:39] | I’ve got this hip thing, | 我有屁股问题 |
| [00:41] | meaning, I’m too hip. | 我有”太潮不打球症”了 |
| [00:44] | What about you two? | 你们俩个呢 |
| [00:45] | I’m telling you, I’m a great ball player. | 相信我 我可是个棒球高手[玩蛋蛋高手] |
| [00:47] | No, I’m a great ball player. | 不 我才是玩蛋蛋高手 |
| [00:49] | I know how to cup | 我懂如何同时握住 |
| [00:50] | and tickle mine at the same time. | 还给我的蛋蛋搔痒 |
| [00:54] | I’m talking about America’s favorite pastime. | 我是说美国人最爱的娱乐消遣啦 |
| [00:57] | Oh, so am I. | 我这招也是啊 |
| [01:03] | Well, I’m in. I have a really good arm. | 我加入 我有威猛的投球手臂 |
| [01:05] | Go over there, Han. Let’s have a little catch. | 去那边吧 阿憨 我们来丢个几球 |
| [01:07] | All right, here we go. All right. | 好的 准备来吧 |
| [01:10] | Go deep. Go deeper, Han. | 再退一点 再退[深]一点 阿憨 |
| [01:13] | A phrase no other woman will ever say to him. | 这话绝对”不会”有女人对他说 |
| [01:19] | Throw it, and don’t be afraid to bring the heat. | 投球吧 使出全力 不用怕 |
| [01:28] | Too much heat. | 力道过猛了 |
| [01:30] | Ball one…and two. Game over. | 一球 双杀蛋 本局结束 |
| [01:35] | I seem to have forgotten a crucial part of my uniform. | 我好像忘了穿这制服最重要的那部分了 |
| [01:39] | Need a cup, Han? | 需要杯子[护裆]吗 阿憨 |
| [01:56] | You ladies can wait in here. | 两位女士 请在这里等 |
| [01:58] | Brian, before my father comes in, | 布莱恩 在我爸进来前 |
| [02:00] | how are his spirits? | 他的精神状况如何 |
| [02:01] | You know, for someone who’s looking | 以一个要面对六十到一百年 |
| [02:02] | at 60 to 100 years in prison? | 刑期的人来说 |
| [02:04] | Pretty good. | 还算不错 |
| [02:07] | I’ll bring him right in. | 我现在去带他过来 |
| [02:08] | Hey, Bri, anyone get killed today? | 小布 今天有人被杀咩 |
| [02:10] | You ask me that every time, Max, | 麦克斯 你每次都问这问题 |
| [02:12] | and every time I tell you, | 我也每次都回答你 |
| [02:13] | it’s a white collar prison. | 这是关押高智商罪犯的监狱 |
| [02:15] | Got it. Anyone get shanked with a Mont Blanc pen? | 懂了 那有人被高档钢笔捅了吗 |
| [02:20] | Yo, B, one more thing. | 布布 还有件事 |
| [02:21] | On Lock Up: Raw, they always spray the guards | 监狱剧集《破茧威龙》里 犯人每次 |
| [02:23] | with a mixture of urine and feces, so– | 都会泼粪跟尿 所以… |
| [02:25] | Max, please, can we go one day without you mentioning that? | 麦克斯 你能别每次都提这事吗 |
| [02:29] | I wonder why my dad wanted us | 我挺好奇我爸为啥要我们 |
| [02:30] | to rush out here and see him today. | 今天立刻赶来见他 |
| [02:32] | He probably wants a conjugal visit. | 他想要来一发”情人探视”吧 |
| [02:33] | – Max! – Relax! | -麦克斯 -别这么大反应 |
| [02:35] | With me. | 是跟我来一发啦 |
| [02:39] | There they are, the light of my life | 你们来啦 我生命的光芒 |
| [02:41] | – And her bouncer. – Hi, daddy. | -以及她的保镖 -老爸 |
| [02:45] | Hey. Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [02:46] | Oh, we startin’ this? No foreplay? | 直接就上啦 不来点前戏吗 |
| [02:52] | Listen, I’m sorry to make you come all the way out here | 抱歉让你们俩大老远跑来一趟 |
| [02:55] | on the–God help me–subway, | 而且还是坐”地铁” 我都不忍心说这词 |
| [02:58] | but I actually need a favor. | 但我其实需要你们帮个忙 |
| [03:02] | Help me break out. | 帮我逃狱 |
| [03:05] | I’m kidding. | 开个玩笑啦 |
| [03:06] | Daddy, it’s so amazing you can joke, | 老爸 你有心情开玩笑是很好 |
| [03:09] | but maybe not around Max. | 但不要在麦克斯面前开 好吗 |
| [03:10] | She’s already offered to skin a guard alive | 她已经放话要替你活剥狱卒的皮 |
| [03:12] | and walk you out of here wearing him. | 让你披着人皮走出去 |
| [03:14] | Well, we know it works. | 你明明知道这招可行 |
| [03:17] | All right, listen. | 听我说 |
| [03:18] | This woman who used to work for me | 这个以前在我手下工作的女人 |
| [03:19] | is being paid a million dollars | 要被人以百万美元收买 |
| [03:21] | to write a tell-all book about me. | 写一本我的私密全揭秘档案 |
| [03:24] | A million dollars? | 一百万啊 |
| [03:26] | How much can I get for a tell-all book about Caroline? | 那我写一本卡洛琳的揭秘书能拿多少钱 |
| [03:28] | Chapter one: “Sleep farts.” | 第一章 “边睡边放屁” |
| [03:32] | Max, please, can we go one day without you mentioning that? | 麦克斯 你能别每次都提这事吗 |
| [03:36] | The woman’s name is Sandra Rosenthal. | 那女人的名字叫珊卓拉·罗森索 |
| [03:38] | Caroline, do you remember her? | 卡洛琳 你记得她吗 |
| [03:39] | Yes, the one who lied on her resume. | 记得 那个履历上说谎的女人 |
| [03:41] | The one who couldn’t even add, and worse than that, | 那个加法都算不好 而且更离谱的是 |
| [03:43] | she wore brown with black together. | 她还穿衣还黑色配棕色 |
| [03:46] | I like brown and black together. | 我就喜欢黑色配棕色啊 |
| [03:48] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [03:51] | Wait, why would anybody pay that woman so much? | 等等 为什么有人愿意出这么高价啊 |
| [03:54] | What is she saying she has on you? | 她说她有你什么把柄 |
| [03:56] | Well, she’s claiming she was fired | 她声称自己被解雇 |
| [03:57] | because she had insider information | 是因为她知道整起庞氏骗局的 |
| [03:59] | about the ponzi scandal, | 内幕消息 |
| [04:00] | and that we were sleeping together, | 还说自己跟我发生过关系 |
| [04:02] | – which we weren’t. – Of course you weren’t. | -但其实没有 -当然没有 |
| [04:04] | You would never sleep with someone | 你才不可能睡一个 |
| [04:05] | who wore brown with black together. | 穿黑配棕色的女人呢 |
| [04:07] | Man, I haven’t seen this much hatred | 50年代后 我就没看过有人 |
| [04:09] | toward brown and black since the ’50s. | 对黑跟棕色[人种]这么严重的鄙视了 |
| [04:12] | Anyway, I wanted you to hear it from me first, | 总之 我想先知会你这件事 |
| [04:15] | because she’s about to go on Piers Morgan live, | 因为她准备上皮尔斯·摩根的访谈节目 |
| [04:17] | and she can say whatever she wants. | 然后她就会大放厥词 胡说八道 |
| [04:19] | No, she can’t, because I’ll be there to refute her lies. | 不会的 因为我会去驳倒她的谎言 |
| [04:22] | I’ll defend you with dignity and class | 我会以尊严与格调 |
| [04:24] | and my new lipstick I just found on the subway. | 外加地铁上捡的新唇膏 来替你辩护 |
| [04:27] | Wow, Piers Morgan. That dude’s legit. | 皮尔斯·摩根呢 那家伙可牛逼了 |
| [04:30] | He’s got a show, he’s got Piers 1 Imports. | 不但主持节目 还有一家家具店 |
| [04:35] | I don’t know what I’d do without you, princess. | 小公主 没有你我真不知道怎么办 |
| [04:37] | You’re the only person I can trust. | 你是我唯一能信赖的人 |
| [04:40] | Now, get out of here, | 好了 你先走吧 |
| [04:40] | ’cause I gotta speak to Max privately for a second. | 我有些话想单独跟麦克斯说 |
| [04:44] | Oh…Sure. | 好吧… |
| [04:45] | – Okay, I– – Just go. | -好吧 我… -快闪边吧 |
| [04:46] | Daddy wants to talk to me privately. | 你爹爹想跟我”单独聊聊”呢 |
| [04:50] | – Love you, sweetie. – Love you, daddy. | -宝贝 我爱你 -老爸 我也爱你 |
| [04:51] | Brian, I’ll just be right outside. | 布莱恩 我就在门口等 |
| [04:57] | So, Max… | 麦克斯… |
| [04:59] | You know I’m all talk, right? | 你知道我只是耍耍嘴皮子的吧 |
| [05:02] | I need you to tell Caroline something | 我想你帮我跟卡洛琳说件事 |
| [05:04] | I couldn’t bring myself to say. | 这事我不好意思对她说 |
| [05:07] | This woman is also claiming | 那女人也宣称 |
| [05:08] | I have a small penis. | 我有只”小小鸟” |
| [05:12] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [05:14] | So I stayed behind to see it? | 所以你留我来”赏鸟”洗刷污名吗 |
| [05:21] | No. | 不是啦 |
| [05:23] | I want you to tell Caroline so she’ll be prepared, | 我想让你告诉卡洛琳 让她做好心理准备 |
| [05:26] | ’cause I’m pretty sure that’s the lie | 我蛮肯定她就是靠这个谎言 |
| [05:28] | that got the book sold. | 来让那本书大卖 |
| [05:30] | How big of a lie? | 她这谎水分多”大” |
| [05:32] | Oh, a really big one. | 相信我 非常”大” |
| [05:40] | So, what did you and my father talk about? | 你都跟我爸聊了些什么 |
| [05:43] | I don’t want to tell you. I’m uncomfortable. | 我不想告诉你 我难以启齿 |
| [05:45] | You’re uncomfortable? | 你也会难以启齿吗 |
| [05:47] | This must be bad. | 这事肯定很严重 |
| [05:48] | You’ve never been uncomfortable in your life. | 我就没见你有过难以启齿的话 |
| [05:50] | Is it drugs? Cancer? | 他染毒了 得癌症 |
| [05:53] | Oh! Did he fall in love in prison? | 还是他在监狱里有了基友 |
| [05:54] | I’ll be fine with it. You can tell me. | 我能接受这事 你可以告诉我 |
| [05:56] | When we had money, I was very active in the Park Avenue | 我家还有钱的时候 我常去参与林荫大道 |
| [05:58] | straights for gay doormen alliance. | 直人支持基门卫联盟的活动 |
| [06:08] | Is this some kind of weird gang, | 他们这是怪胎帮派 |
| [06:09] | or did a game just let out? | 还是刚有比赛结束啊 |
| [06:11] | Max, come on. Tell me. | 麦克斯 你就告诉我嘛 |
| [06:13] | Fine, the woman’s gonna say your father has a small– | 好吧 那女人会说你爸爸有个”小… |
| [06:18] | Sir, your vuvuzela is very loud, and very 2010. | 先生 你的呜呜祖拉又吵又过时 |
| [06:22] | My father has a what? | 我爸爸有个什么 |
| [06:24] | He has a small– | 他有个”小… |
| [06:27] | Seriously, the game’s over. | 拜托了 比赛都结束了 |
| [06:29] | And how on earth you have a wedding ring is beyond me. | 像你这种人居然还还结婚了 真是理解不能 |
| [06:32] | What is she gonna say about him? | 那女人要说我爸什么 |
| [06:35] | – I can’t hear you! – She’s going to say… | -我听不到你 -她会说… |
| [06:38] | your father has a small penis! | 你爸爸有只”小小鸟” |
| [06:43] | He thought it’d be less awkward if I told you. | 他觉得我来告诉你会比较不尴尬 |
| [06:45] | Was it? | 有咩 |
| [06:47] | I can’t believe that Sandra Rosenthal woman. | 我真服了那叫珊卓拉·罗森索的女人 |
| [06:49] | There’s another lie. | 这又是一个弥天大谎 |
| [06:50] | – Why, have you seen it? – No, I haven’t seen it! | -怎么说 你见过吗 -当然没有 |
| [06:53] | I never want to see it. | 我这辈子都不想看到 |
| [06:54] | Have you seen your father’s penis? | 你看过你爸的鸡鸡吗 |
| [06:56] | If I did, it was waving good-bye. | 有的话 它也是在跟我挥鸡告别 |
| [07:04] | Max, I’ve thought a lot about it, | 麦克斯 我想了很多 |
| [07:05] | and I can’t sit there while that woman | 我不能就这么让那女人 |
| [07:07] | waves my father’s penis in Piers Morgan’s face. | 就这么在主持人面前谈我爸的鸡鸡[甩他脸上] |
| [07:11] | You’re lucky it’s not Anderson Cooper, | 你该庆幸这主持人不是安德森·库珀 |
| [07:12] | ’cause he’d be giggling up a storm. | 因为他肯定会笑得花枝乱颤 |
| [07:15] | I have a plan. | 我有个计划 |
| [07:16] | My goal on this show is gonna be to discredit that woman | 我上节目就是要证明那女人的话是假的 |
| [07:19] | and tell people, even though my father did a bad thing, | 而且要告诉大众 虽然我爸爸做过坏事 |
| [07:22] | he did some wonderful things as well. | 但其实他也做过很多好事 |
| [07:23] | Look, here he is working with UNICEF. | 这是他联合国儿童基金会帮忙 |
| [07:26] | Here he is rebuilding haiti. | 这是他帮忙海地灾民重建家园 |
| [07:29] | Oh, this is just a cute picture of him water-skiing | 这张只是一张他玩划水的帅照 |
| [07:31] | at a charity event on Lake Tahoe. | 是在太浩湖的慈善活动上呢 |
| [07:33] | What’s the charity? White men without golf clubs? | 给没钱买高尔夫球杆的白人募款吗 |
| [07:37] | So that’s my plan, and hopefully, | 反正我是那么计划的啦 |
| [07:39] | going on that show will put an end | 希望上完节目后 |
| [07:40] | to all these ridiculous rumors about my father. | 能让坊间关于我爸的谣言停止 |
| [07:44] | Hey, Caroline. | 卡洛琳 |
| [07:49] | Yeah. | 怎么啦 |
| [07:50] | The word on the street is your dad’s got a weenis. | 外面都在传你爸有只”小小鸟” |
| [07:54] | Sophie, how did you hear about that? | 苏菲 你上哪听来的 |
| [07:56] | Oleg told me. | 奥列格告诉我的 |
| [07:58] | It came up on my Google penis alerts. | 消息出现在我的谷歌鸡鸡搜索警报 |
| [08:01] | I like to keep current, see what the trends are. | 我喜欢在时事尖端 跟随流行”鸡”态 |
| [08:04] | You don’t want to be that middle-aged guy | 你也不会想当一个长着别人 |
| [08:05] | wearing the same penis you had in high school. | 多年前就有的同款鸡鸡的中年男子吧 |
| [08:09] | Great, now, it’s all over the internet | 这下好了 网上传遍了 |
| [08:11] | And my shoulders are all up around my ears. | 我肩膀都耸起来到我耳旁了 |
| [08:13] | Look, I’m too tense to even shake my head “no” | 你看 紧张到都没办法对那女骗子 |
| [08:16] | at that liar woman, which was gonna be my key move. | 摇头反对了 这可是我最重要的动作呢 |
| [08:19] | I need a massage, but I’m broke. | 我好需要按摩 但我又没钱去 |
| [08:22] | Caroline, I’ll give you a massage. | 卡洛琳 我可以帮你按摩啊 |
| [08:25] | Get ready for a sad ending. | 准备好迎接失望的结尾 |
| [08:28] | And beginning, and middle. | 还有失望的开头以及过程 |
| [08:32] | There. | 来啦 |
| [08:33] | Oh, yeah. | 爽吧 |
| [08:35] | How does that feel? | 感觉如何啊 |
| [08:38] | Like baby spiders are dancing on my shoulders. | 感觉像小蜘蛛在我肩膀上跳舞 |
| [08:42] | You’re the first Asian I’ve seen | 你是我见过第一个 |
| [08:44] | that can’t give a massage. | 不会按摩的亚洲人 |
| [08:51] | Hey, Caroline, I’ll treat you and Max | 卡洛琳 我请你跟麦克斯 |
| [08:53] | to a massage at my fancy spa. | 去我那家高档美容院按摩吧 |
| [08:55] | Cool! I’ve never been to a spa. | 好啊 我从没去过呢 |
| [08:57] | The closest I’ve been is sticking my arm | 我做过最接近按摩的事 |
| [08:59] | in the free blood pressure machine at Walgreens. | 也就是把手臂伸进药局里的血压测量计 |
| [09:03] | Wait, that’s for your arm? | 等等 那是给手臂用的吗 |
| [09:11] | Thanks for the massage, Han. | 谢谢你帮我按摩 阿憨 |
| [09:12] | It was very nice– Oh, you’re still doing it. | 你人真好 你还在按啊 |
| [09:14] | I had no idea. | 我完全没感觉 |
| [09:21] | That was a-mazing! | 这真是爽歪了 |
| [09:24] | I mean, a guy rubbed me for an hour | 一男的揉了我身上整整一小时 |
| [09:26] | and didn’t expect anything back? | 而且完全不用我肉偿 |
| [09:30] | This massage stuff could catch on. | 按摩这玩意必须得火啊 |
| [09:33] | I could not let go during my massage. | 我按摩时还是无法宣泄自己的压力 |
| [09:36] | Oh, was letting go an option? | 这里可以”宣泄”的吗 |
| [09:39] | I was close, but I didn’t want to get halfway there | 我当时都差点要”泄”了 但我怕才按到一半 |
| [09:41] | and have the management throw me out or something. | 就会因为我”宣泄过度”而被人赶出去 |
| [09:44] | I’m just so tense. | 我真的好紧张 |
| [09:45] | Piers Morgan asks some difficult questions. | 皮尔斯·摩根常会问很难的问题 |
| [09:47] | Last week, he asked the Spring Breakers cast | 上周他才问了一部无脑卖肉电影的演员们 |
| [09:50] | their thoughts on the North Korea situation. | 对最近北韩的形势有何看法呢 |
| [09:55] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [09:56] | Max, this is a quiet room. We have to be quiet. | 麦克斯 这里是静修室 我们得安静点 |
| [09:59] | Hi, girls! | 女孩们 |
| [10:02] | Oh, I’m getting myself some fancy water. | 我要来喝杯高档纯净水了 |
| [10:05] | Look, they got lemon, orange, and cucumber. | 他们有柠檬 橙子 跟黄瓜呢 |
| [10:09] | It’s like a slot machine over here. | 感觉跟老虎机里一样 |
| [10:20] | Oh, I just had the best bamboo massage. | 我刚才享受了人生中最棒的竹子按摩 |
| [10:23] | Oh, they kept whacking me with it | 他们不停的用竹子打我 |
| [10:25] | until I confessed to stealing that bread when I was seven. | 直到我承认我七岁那年偷了条面包才停手 |
| [10:29] | Oh, what a load off. | 真是如释重负啊 |
| [10:33] | Caroline, you still look a little tense, | 卡洛琳 你看起来还是有点紧绷 |
| [10:36] | but I guess having to talk about your father’s junk | 不过想到你要上国家电视台 |
| [10:39] | on national television will do that to a girl. | 谈论你爸爸的”小鸟” 的确压力很大 |
| [10:43] | I will not be speaking about | 我不会在节目上 |
| [10:45] | my father’s “junk” on television. | 谈论我爸爸的”鸟” |
| [10:48] | No, I can’t have lunch tomorrow. | 不行 我明天不能出来吃午餐 |
| [10:50] | I’m doing Piers Morgan live. | 我要上皮尔斯·摩根的节目 |
| [10:55] | You won’t believe what just happened. | 你不会相信刚才发生了什么事 |
| [10:58] | You joined a demonic cult? | 你加入了邪教吗 |
| [11:01] | Sandra, the liar writing the tell-all book, | 珊卓拉 那个写揭秘书的女骗子 |
| [11:03] | just walked in. | 刚刚走进来了 |
| [11:05] | She’s getting a day of beauty too? | 她也来一日美容之旅啊 |
| [11:07] | This is like the gayest training for a fight ever. | 这大概是最基版的大战前训练地了 |
| [11:11] | Sandra? | 珊卓拉 |
| [11:13] | Right this way. | 这边 |
| [11:15] | Lay face down. | 脸朝下躺 |
| [11:16] | I’ll give you a few minutes and I’ll be right back in. | 你先放松几分钟 我马上过来 |
| [11:19] | Perfect. I really need this massage. | 很好 我超需要做按摩 |
| [11:20] | Promoting my new book is exhausting. | 宣传我的新书真是累死人了 |
| [11:23] | I’m sorry if that sounded braggy, | 如果像是在自夸 那真是抱歉啦 |
| [11:24] | but I guess that’s how you sound | 但当一切如鱼得水时 |
| [11:25] | when things are going so great for you. | 人说起话来也趾高气扬 |
| [11:29] | That poor masseuse is gonna be forced to listen to | 那位可怜的按摩师要被迫听她 |
| [11:31] | her yammer on about her dumb book. | 喋喋不休地抱怨她那本烂书 |
| [11:34] | But then again, mine had to hear me constantly say, | 不过话说回来 我刚一直对我那位按摩师说 |
| [11:36] | “don’t be afraid of the boobs.” | “不要害怕这对大胸器” |
| [11:40] | We should be hearing about that dumb book | 我们应该去听听她怎么说那本烂书 |
| [11:42] | so I know what I’m up against. | 好让我知道该出什么招 |
| [11:44] | If there was only a way to get in that room. | 前提是 得想办法进那个房间 |
| [11:46] | Oh, anyone can get into any room if they really want to. | 人生没有过不去的坎 也没有进不去的地方 |
| [11:52] | I mean, do you think that I was invited | 你真的觉得2004年的游艇展面试 |
| [11:54] | to the audition for the 2004 boat show? | 我是受邀进去的吗 |
| [11:58] | Yeah. Go. | 真的 快去吧 |
| [12:00] | I’ll take care of that masseuse. | 我来对付那个按摩师 |
| [12:02] | Sophie, you’re not gonna hurt her, right? | 苏菲 你不会伤害她吧 |
| [12:04] | No. I’m gonna try tipping her first. | 不会 我会先用小费打发她 |
| [12:17] | I’m back. | 我回来了 |
| [12:19] | Yes, I was just out in the hall with you, | 没错 刚才在走廊里的人是我 |
| [12:21] | now, here I am in the room with you, | 现在在房间里的人也是我 |
| [12:24] | the same person. | 都是同一个人 |
| [12:26] | Just keep your head down, don’t look up, | 头别抬起来 不要往上看 |
| [12:29] | and relax. | 放轻松 |
| [12:32] | You’re not gonna talk a lot, are you? | 你不会一直说个不停吧 |
| [12:34] | No, but you should feel free to. | 不会 但你可以随意说 |
| [12:36] | whatever’s on your mind or in in that book. | 无论是你的想法 还是你那本书 |
| [12:40] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:41] | – What was that? – That? | -那是什么声音 -那个吗 |
| [12:43] | That’s just me, alone, | 那是我 一个人 |
| [12:46] | creating a healing space with energy and sound. | 用能量和声音营造出一种治疗氛围 |
| [12:50] | Lots of sound. | 音量越大越有效 |
| [12:53] | So you’re writing a big book. | 听说你在写一本大作 |
| [12:56] | Do you want to tell me all about that? | 想跟我分享下内容吗 |
| [12:58] | Well, it’s about this guy, Martin Channing. | 这本书是关于马丁·钱宁 |
| [13:01] | Oh, he is very nice and very respectable. | 他人非常好 非常值得尊敬 |
| [13:06] | You won’t think that after you read my book. | 你看了我的书之后 就不会这么想了 |
| [13:08] | I am really gonna stick it to him. | 我要狠狠地捅他一刀 |
| [13:10] | Okay, now, you’re just pushing me. | 好了 你现在简直是在使劲推我 |
| [13:15] | Uh, how did you– | 你是怎么… |
| [13:22] | Uh…How– how did you do that? | 你是怎么做到的 |
| [13:26] | It feels like you have three hands. | 感觉好像你有三只手 |
| [13:32] | That’s how good I am. | 这说明我很厉害 |
| [13:36] | This is supposed to be a hot stone massage. | 这应该是热石按摩疗法 |
| [13:38] | Comin’ right up. | 马上给您做 |
| [13:42] | The hot stones. | 热石 |
| [13:53] | All right, here come the ho-o-ot stones. | 好啦 热石来了 |
| [14:00] | Oh, yeah. Yeah, that’s nice. | 对 就这样 真舒服 |
| [14:02] | I’m really loosening up. | 我开始觉得放松了 |
| [14:04] | Oh, well, then let’s loosen you up some more. | 那让你再放松多一点 |
| [14:06] | More stones. | 再来点石头 |
| [14:09] | More stones! | 再来点石头 |
| [14:15] | Yeah, I’m got paid a lot of money for my tell-all book, | 我那本揭秘书能拿到一大笔钱 |
| [14:18] | and I am really gonna tell all. | 所以我真的会全盘揭秘 |
| [14:20] | Not there! Not there. | 放错了 别放那里 |
| [14:25] | What? What is going on in here? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [14:28] | Well, what is happening here, Sandra, | 珊卓拉 事情是这样的 |
| [14:29] | is you’re about to go on national TV | 你要去国家电视台上大放厥词 |
| [14:31] | and tell America lies about my father. | 当着全美国人的面胡说八道 |
| [14:33] | He never slept with you. | 他从未跟你发生过关系 |
| [14:35] | Did he never sleep with me in your bedroom, | 那他也从未在你卧室的粉红公主床上 |
| [14:38] | on your pink canopy bed? | 跟我发生过关系吗 |
| [14:41] | You know what? That never happened. | 你心知肚明 根本没发生过这种事 |
| [14:43] | That’s insane. You’re crazy. | 那真是荒唐 你是个疯子 |
| [14:44] | Well, it’s my word against yours. | 反正没人能证明谁对谁错 |
| [14:46] | You’re gonna be very embarrassed on TV. | 你一定会在电视上丢人现眼 |
| [14:49] | But not as embarrassed as you’re going to be in the spa lobby, | 但你最丢脸的时刻 是在美容院大厅 |
| [14:51] | when I tell everyone that I was touched inappropriately | 因为我要告诉大家 卡洛琳·钱宁对我实施了 |
| [14:54] | by Caroline Channing. | 不当的身体接触 |
| [14:56] | You are not gonna tell anybody that. | 你不会告诉任何人的 |
| [14:58] | Who’s gonna stop me? | 谁管得住我 |
| [15:00] | Hey, girls. | 姑娘们 |
| [15:01] | I was listening outside the door. | 我刚一直在门外面听着 |
| [15:04] | Everything okay? | 有啥问题吗 |
| [15:14] | Max, I don’t know if I can do this. | 麦克斯 我不知道我是否能应付 |
| [15:16] | What if Sandra’s telling the truth? | 万一珊卓拉说的是事实呢 |
| [15:18] | She did know about my pink canopy bed. | 她的确知道我有张粉红色的公主床 |
| [15:20] | How would she know that? | 她怎么会知道的 |
| [15:21] | Because everyone knows barbie comes with a dream car, | 因为全世界都知道芭比有一辆粉红小车 |
| [15:24] | a pony, and a pink canopy bed included. | 一匹粉红小马 还有一张粉红公主床 |
| [15:28] | There he is. There’s Piers Morgan, live. | 他来了 皮尔斯·摩根真人 |
| [15:32] | Do you think it’s too soon to ask him | 你觉得现在就管他要家具店折扣 |
| [15:33] | to give me a discount at Piers 1? | 是不是有点太唐突了 |
| [15:37] | He looks dignified, like he’s not gonna ask about a penis. | 他看着挺高尚的 估计不会问鸡鸡的事情 |
| [15:40] | But what if he does? | 但如果他问起来怎么办 |
| [15:41] | – Max, I can’t do this. – Give me your phone. | -麦克斯 我好害怕 -把手机给我 |
| [15:45] | You need to remind yourself | 你得时刻提醒自己 |
| [15:46] | of the person your father used to be. | 你父亲以前的样子 |
| [15:48] | Look, here he is working with UNICEF. | 瞧 这是他跟联合国儿童基金会共事 |
| [15:50] | And here he is water-skiing on “Lake rich person.” | 这是他在”富人湖”里滑水 |
| [15:54] | Look at that smile. Is that the smile of–hold up. | 瞧那个笑容 是不是…等下 |
| [16:01] | What’s coming out of the left leg of his swim shorts? | 他泳裤左裤腿冒出来的是什么东西 |
| [16:05] | I think your father’s junk is trying to tell me | 我觉得你爸的鸡鸡在试图告诉我 |
| [16:07] | there’s gonna be six more weeks of winter. | 离冬天还有六个星期 |
| [16:10] | 如果土拨鼠离开洞穴并能看到它的身影 就预示着冬天还有六个星期 如果看不到它的身影 那么冬天不久将会结束 | |
| [16:11] | What are you saying? | 你在说什么啊 |
| [16:12] | I’m saying, someone had a tip slip, | 我是说 有人的”鸟”不小心探头出来了 |
| [16:15] | and that is not a small tip. | 而且那只”鸟头”还不小哦 |
| [16:19] | And as a waitress and a loose woman, | 作为一名服务员和一名荡妇 |
| [16:21] | I know a small tip when I see one. | 只要我看见头 我就知道那只鸟大不大 |
| [16:25] | Here. | 看这里 |
| [16:29] | Sorry, sorry. | 抱歉 抱歉 |
| [16:31] | She just showed me a picture of Anne Hathaway’s new haircut. | 她刚给我看了安妮·海瑟薇的新发型 |
| [16:37] | Well, this is good, | 这不错 |
| [16:38] | because it can proves that woman is lying. | 因为能证明那女人在撒谎 |
| [16:40] | Yep, you just have to show this to Piers. | 对啊 你可以把这拿给皮尔斯看 |
| [16:43] | I told you, I’m not going near my father’s penis. | 我说过 我绝不会提及[靠近]我爸的鸡鸡 |
| [16:47] | All I have to do is point out | 我只需指出 |
| [16:49] | that that woman has no finance skills. | 那女人根本不懂理财和金融 |
| [16:51] | Unlike her, we are taking the high road. | 不像她 我们要采取高尚的手段 |
| [16:53] | Max, are you sending that to yourself? | 麦克斯 你是把照片发你手机上吗 |
| [17:00] | I’m here with Sandra Rosenthal, | 今天的嘉宾是珊卓拉·罗森索 |
| [17:01] | Who’s just signed a huge book deal | 她刚签了一份超值钱的书约 |
| [17:03] | to do a kiss-and-tell | 揭发臭名昭著的金融家 |
| [17:04] | on disgraced financier Martin Channing. | 马丁·钱宁的种种隐私 |
| [17:06] | – Welcome to you, Sandra. – Hello, piers. | -欢迎你 珊卓拉 -你好 皮尔斯 |
| [17:08] | Thank you for allowing me to tell my story. | 谢谢你邀请我上台讲述我的故事 |
| [17:11] | It’s a story, all right. | 只是个故事而已 |
| [17:12] | Wow, so we’re right into it. | 我们十分想听 |
| [17:14] | Okay, well, let me catch up. | 好的 让我先介绍下 |
| [17:15] | My other guest is Caroline Channing, | 另一位嘉宾是卡洛琳·钱宁 |
| [17:17] | daughter of martin Channing, who, to put it mildly, | 马丁·钱宁的女儿 说得委婉些 |
| [17:19] | is claiming that your book, Ms. Rosenthal, | 她声称罗森索女士的书 |
| [17:21] | is a bunch of bull. | 完全就是狗屁连篇 |
| [17:23] | That’s right, Piers. | 没错 皮尔斯 |
| [17:24] | It’s pure rubbish, | 按你们英国人的说法 |
| [17:26] | as your people say. | 就是”通篇胡扯” |
| [17:28] | That was perfectly American. | 那完全是你们美国人的说法 |
| [17:32] | Right, then, let me start with you. | 好吧 那先从你开始 |
| [17:34] | Well, to catch everybody up, Ms. Rosenthal’s large book advance | 事情是这样的 推动罗森索女士作品的 |
| [17:36] | really has to do with something that turned out to be, | 最”大”动力 是她揭露某物的真相是… |
| [17:38] | by your words, very small. | 用你的话来说 “非常小” |
| [17:40] | Comments, Ms. Channing? | 有何评论 钱宁小姐 |
| [17:45] | I’d rather not comment about that, Piers, | 我不发表任何评论 皮尔斯 |
| [17:47] | because I have class, but I do have a question | 因为我有格调 但我的确有个问题 |
| [17:49] | for Ms. Rosenthal, who was hired by my father | 要问我父亲曾经聘用过的珊卓拉女士 |
| [17:52] | because she claimed she had a degree in finance. | 因为她声称自己是金融学的学士 |
| [17:54] | Ms. Rosenthal, if a train carrying 27 passengers | 珊卓拉女士 一辆载有27个人的火车 |
| [17:58] | leaves Grand Central Station at 9:00 A.M., | 早上9点离开中央车站 |
| [18:00] | travels 800 miles to Chicago, arriving at 5:00 p.M., | 于下午5点到达800英里外的芝加哥 |
| [18:04] | how fast was it traveling? | 请问火车的速度是多少 |
| [18:06] | Well, I– | 这个嘛 |
| [18:07] | Simple math, piers. | 超简单的数学题 皮尔斯 |
| [18:09] | 100 miles an hour. | 每小时100英里 |
| [18:11] | – I’m sorry? – That’s your answer. | -你说什么 -你问题的答案 |
| [18:12] | Sorry, I’m a bit of a mathlete. | 抱歉 我也算是个数学高手 |
| [18:15] | Impressive. | 真厉害 |
| [18:16] | I’ve got a math equation for you. | 我也有个数学问题要问你 |
| [18:19] | If a 3-inch train is entering a tunnel, | 如果一辆3英寸长的”火车”开进”隧道” |
| [18:21] | do I even know it’s there? | 那”隧道”能感觉到吗 |
| [18:24] | Ladies, this isn’t Maury Povich. | 女士们 这不是毛里·波维奇无下限的节目 |
| [18:28] | Piers, I am simply trying to illustrate | 皮尔斯 我只是单纯想说明 |
| [18:30] | that she should have been able to answer it, | 如果她够格胜任金融工作的话 |
| [18:32] | had she been qualified for her job in finance. | 她应该可以回答那个问题才对 |
| [18:36] | Everything that I am writing in the book is true, Piers. | 我书里所写的一切内容都是真的 |
| [18:39] | There is nothing that I have said | 我说的任何东西 |
| [18:41] | that she can prove is untrue. | 她都无法证明是假的 |
| [18:47] | Wait a minute, why is there a woman under my desk? | 等下 为什么会有个女人在我桌子底下 |
| [18:51] | Oh, is there, Piers? | 有吗 皮尔斯 |
| [18:52] | Yes, my father defrauded a lot of people, | 没错 我的父亲是骗了很多人的钱 |
| [18:55] | and he’s paying a price for that, | 他也为此付出了代价 |
| [18:57] | but I’m not gonna sit by silently while she exploits him | 但她为了自己的利益而消费我父亲时 |
| [18:59] | With lies for her own gain. | 我绝对不会袖手旁观 |
| [19:01] | Piers, there’s so much about my father | 皮尔斯 我想告诉您 |
| [19:03] | I want you to know, like he– | 很多关于我父亲的事情 比如… |
| [19:11] | What is this? | 这是什么 |
| [19:12] | Well…I know what this is. | 我知道这是什么 |
| [19:15] | I’ve got one. | 我也有一根 |
| [19:16] | But whose is it, and why am I looking at it? | 但这是谁的 为什么要给我看 |
| [19:19] | It’s my father’s. | 那是我父亲的 |
| [19:21] | He had a bit of a tip slip. | 他的”鸟”不小心探头了 |
| [19:25] | Madam, I don’t know what you’re looking for in a man, | 女士 我不知道你想要什么样的男人 |
| [19:27] | but this… | 但这个男人 |
| [19:30] | is far from inadequate. | 明显是”神雕大侠” |
| [19:34] | In fact, it’s so far from inadequate, | 老实说 与你描述差距太远 |
| [19:36] | that I’m bringing this interview to an immediate close. | 我要马上结束本期访谈 |
| [19:39] | Your book and you lack any credibility. | 你和你的书都没有任何可信度 |
| [19:42] | That’s it. | 到此为止 |
| [19:47] | “Can you hook me up with a discount at Piers 1 Imports?” | “你能帮我搞到皮尔斯家具店的折扣吗” |
| [19:57] | Hey, you know, they’ll probably come to you one day | 很可能某天出版商会对你有兴趣 |
| [19:58] | and want a tell-all book. | 想出一本你的揭秘书 |
| [20:00] | Remember, we already have chapter one, “Sleep farts.” | 记住第一章已经有了 “边睡觉边放屁” |
| [20:03] | Chapter two: “My new stepmom Max.” | 第二章是 “我的新后妈 麦克斯” |
| [20:09] | Max, am I gonna have to defend my father forever? | 麦克斯 我会一辈子都得替我爸辩护吗 |
| [20:12] | Probably, but don’t worry, | 可能吧 但别担心 |
| [20:14] | – I’ll be there to help. – Thank you. | -我会帮你的 -谢谢 |
| [20:16] | ’cause it’s a wife’s job to defend her husband. | 因为保卫丈夫 是妻子的职责 |
| [20:20] | It makes me sad to think he’s gonna be in prison | 我一想到他要在监狱度过余生 |
| [20:22] | for the rest of his life. | 就觉得很难过 |
| [20:24] | Don’t think of it like that. He’s not just in prison. | 别这样想嘛 他不是在监狱 |
| [20:27] | He’s in Africa working with UNICEF, | 他是在非洲跟联合国儿童基金会共事 |
| [20:29] | He’s in Haiti, | 他在海地 |
| [20:30] | he’s water-skiing on “Lake rich person,” | 他在”富人湖”上滑水 |
| [20:33] | and he’s on the desktop of my computer. | 他还在我电脑的桌面上 |
| [20:37] | I should delete that. | 我应该删掉那照片 |
| [20:39] | Where’d I leave my phone? | 我的手机放哪里了 |
| [20:44] | Oh, god, are you guys looking at the picture of my dad? | 天啊 你们不会是在看我爸的照片吧 |
| [20:47] | We are. Respect. | 是的 钦佩不已啊 |
| [20:51] | So very much respect. | 敬仰之情有如滔滔江水 连绵不绝 |
| [20:54] | Eh, I’ve seen better. | 我见过更棒的 |
| [20:57] | Every day. | 每天低头就能看见 |
| [21:02] | Give me that. | 还给人家啦 |