| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Oh, my God! We have customers? | 天啊 居然有顾客上门 |
| [00:05] | What’s going on? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [00:07] | Why are there so many hipsters here? | 怎么来了这么多嬉皮士啊 |
| [00:09] | Are we selling stupid hats and telling them | 我们开始卖傻逼帽子 |
| [00:11] | they’re more talented than they actually are? | 然后乱夸他们超有才吗 |
| [00:14] | No, that’s already a store. It’s called “Fedorable.” | 不 那种店早有了 就是那家装潮帽店啊 |
| [00:18] | You’ve been working so hard to get us customers in, | 你一直很努力地帮店里招揽顾客 |
| [00:21] | I wanted to contribute by finding a way | 所以我也想找到个方法 |
| [00:23] | to get in the neighborhood hipsters. | 来招揽跟这一带的嬉皮士 |
| [00:24] | So… here’s our new flyer. | 这就是我们的新传单 |
| [00:27] | You made up a new flyer without talking to me about it first? | 你问都没问我 就弄个新传单啊 |
| [00:30] | I renamed all the cupcakes after people from the ’90s! | 我给小蛋糕都冠上90年代的名人名呢 |
| [00:33] | “Max’s Homemade Cupcakes. | “麦克斯自制小蛋糕 |
| [00:35] | We’ve got all your Flavor Flavs.” | 所有你们要的”口味哥”都有” |
| [00:38] | Hipsters love ’90s nostalgia more than they love | 嬉皮士爱回忆90年代 |
| [00:40] | pretending not to love anything. | 更胜假装自己啥都不爱 |
| [00:42] | “Come in and lick a Beavis. | 欢迎来舔舔”瘪四”小蛋糕 |
| [00:45] | Eat a butt-head.” | 或吃个”大头蛋” |
| [00:48] | The pistachio is now called the Dennis Rodman | 开心果小蛋糕现在改叫”丹尼斯·罗德曼” |
| [00:51] | because it’s such a dumbass flavor. | 这蠢蛋糕就得用蠢货的名 |
| [00:54] | Cute. | 真不错 |
| [00:55] | Wait, what’s going on over there? | 等等 那边怎么回事 |
| [00:56] | Why are all those cupcakes smashed? | 那些小蛋糕怎么都烂兮兮的 |
| [00:57] | Those are the Nancy Kerrigans. | 那些是”南茜·克里根”小蛋糕 |
| [01:00] | I don’t know if it’s in good taste | 拿她的惨事当笑点 |
| [01:02] | to make fun of her personal tragedy. | 会不会有点太无下限啊 |
| [01:04] | – I sold eight of them. – Screw her, you’re a genius! | -都卖掉八个了呢 -管她去死 你就是个天才 |
| [01:07] | Ooh, ooh, can I name one? | 可以让我也取一个吗 |
| [01:09] | How ’bout we call the day-olds the Hugh Hefners? | 我可以把隔夜的小蛋糕取为”休·海夫纳”吗 |
| [01:14] | That’s not ’90s. | 他又不90年代 |
| [01:16] | He’s in his 90s, and he’s stale and hard. | 但他90多岁 如隔夜蛋糕般”又老又硬” |
| [01:33] | Can I get a Jonathan Taylor Thomas to go | 我要外带一个”乔纳森·泰勒·托马斯” |
| [01:35] | and two of the Spice Girls? | 再加任意两个”辣妹” |
| [01:35] | 辣妹组合 90年代知名英国女子组合 五名辣妹分别是时髦 疯狂 姜汁 运动 以及宝贝辣妹 | |
| [01:37] | Any one but “Baby.” | 但我不要”宝贝辣妹”哦 |
| [01:40] | Sure. | 没问题 |
| [01:41] | Dude, you should come to the ’90s trivia contest | 兄台 你应该来参加九十年代冷知识大赛 |
| [01:43] | every Monday at the Bar bar. | 每周一在”酒吧”吧举行哦 |
| [01:45] | You could win, like, big money. | 你能赢一大笔钱呢 |
| [01:48] | Yeah, and then I could pay for the lobotomy I’d need | 赢一大笔钱来支付我为了忘掉 |
| [01:50] | to forget that I ever participated | 参加过酒吧里的嬉皮士蠢赛 |
| [01:51] | in a hipster contest in a bar. | 而去施行的脑部手术吗 |
| [01:55] | Cute hat. You’re very talented. | 您帽子好有爱 又好有才华哦 |
| [01:59] | I’m putting this flyer up in the window. | 我去把这传单贴我们窗子上吧 |
| [02:03] | Oh, look, there’s a street performer trying to get people | 你看 咱店门口有个街头艺人 |
| [02:06] | to dance with his marionette outside our shop. | 想拉路人跟他的牵线木偶跳舞 |
| [02:09] | Uh-oh, not cool! | 这可不行 |
| [02:11] | No hipster wants to krump with a puppet. | 嬉皮士才不会想跟木偶跳小丑舞呢 |
| [02:14] | See, he just chased them away. | 你看 把客人都吓跑了 |
| [02:16] | We’ll just ask him to move, but we have to be nice. | 我们请他去别地方就行了 要友善哦 |
| [02:18] | Nice? Nice… | 什么友善 友善… |
| [02:20] | Oh, yeah, that’s the thing you are to the welfare lady | 就是趁我妈在卧室藏新买的电视机时 |
| [02:22] | while your mom’s in the bedroom hiding the new TV. | 而我要对那位发补助金的女士装穷扮可怜的样子吗 |
| [02:31] | Hi, how are you? We own this cupcake– | 您好吗 我们是这小蛋… |
| [02:34] | Shh! Not while he’s dancing. | 安静 他在跳舞呢 |
| [02:43] | I’m sorry, would you like me to wait? | 抱歉了 您是想我等他跳完吗 |
| [02:49] | Oh, this dude’s a serial killer. | 这家伙绝对是变态杀人魔 |
| [03:25] | Do you want me to… | 您是想我… |
| [03:33] | Yup, total serial killer. | 绝对是杀人魔 |
| [03:36] | Just a matter of time till we’re hung on strings | 我们俩早晚会成为他地下室里的 |
| [03:38] | in his basement. | 真人牵线偶 |
| [03:44] | And I probably just got puppet herpes. | 而且我估计还染上了木偶疱疹 |
| [03:48] | Well, I hope you enjoyed your kiss | 希望您还喜欢 |
| [03:51] | with Charming Pierre. | 与万人迷皮埃尔的那个吻 |
| [03:54] | Now, if you wouldn’t mind… | 如果您赏脸的话… |
| [03:57] | Oh, Pierre’s a prostitute? | 原来皮埃尔是牛郎啊 |
| [04:03] | It’s a little weird for him to do it out in the open, | 他在大庭广众之下就”开工” 有点怪吧 |
| [04:05] | but if he can’t afford a car, he can’t afford a car. | 他要买不起车当”工作站” 那也没办法 |
| [04:08] | Oh, you’re one of those-a woman without wonder. | 看来你是那种没好奇心的无趣女人 |
| [04:13] | Not true. In fact, I’m wondering | 才不是呢 我现在就很好奇 |
| [04:16] | how you manage to pay rent. | 你怎么赚得到房租钱 |
| [04:18] | Okay, could you two just move along? | 你们能哪儿凉快哪待去吗 |
| [04:20] | I have another show in five minutes. | 我五分钟后要开始下一场演出了 |
| [04:22] | That was a show? | 那也算是演出啊 |
| [04:24] | Look, you can’t do your little skits here. | 听好 不许在这表演你的把戏 |
| [04:27] | She doesn’t mean to be negative. | 她其实没有负面的意思啦 |
| [04:28] | She’s right. I was planning to be all positive | 她说得对 我本来也打算给点正面评价 |
| [04:30] | till your doll raped her leg. | 但你的娃娃强奸她腿后就没了 |
| [04:34] | Pierre is not a doll, okay? | 皮埃尔不是娃娃好吗 |
| [04:36] | He is a marionette. Hand-carved by me. | 他是个牵线木偶 我亲手雕刻的呢 |
| [04:39] | And I don’t do “skits,” Okay? | 而且我表演的也不是”把戏” 懂吗 |
| [04:42] | I received a national endowment for my work. | 我的演出还得到国家的赞助呢 |
| [04:45] | What? The government pays for stuff like this, | 什么 政府花钱补助这种玩意儿 |
| [04:48] | and I can’t get my back tooth fixed? | 而我连补大牙的钱都没 |
| [04:51] | Well, I, for one, really appreciate | 我个人呢 是真的很欣赏 |
| [04:53] | the art of puppetry. | 木偶戏的艺术啦 |
| [04:55] | I can tell you do, and… | 我看得出来 而且… |
| [04:57] | so can Pierre. | 皮埃尔也看得出 |
| [04:59] | You know, he doesn’t just approach anybody. | 他可不会随便亲近人呢 |
| [05:03] | I’m Caroline. This is Max. And you are? | 我叫卡洛琳 她是麦克斯 你是… |
| [05:06] | My stage name is J. Petto. | 我的艺名叫”劫佩托” |
| [05:09] | Oh, so cute. Geppetto, like Pinocchio’s father. | 真有爱 小木偶的爸爸”杰佩托”嘛 |
| [05:13] | No, it’s “J,” period, “Petto.” | 不 是”劫”佩托 |
| [05:17] | Disney owns the rights to the name Geppetto, | 迪士尼公司有”杰佩托”这名字的版权 |
| [05:19] | so once again, the poor, starving artist gets screwed! | 所以可怜的街头艺人只能屈服于淫威之下啦 |
| [05:25] | So sad. Can you move? | 真可怜 你能走吗 |
| [05:28] | See, this is our cupcake shop, | 你看 这是我们的小蛋糕店 |
| [05:30] | and you’re blocking the entrance. | 你挡住了我们的门口 |
| [05:32] | Uh, this is a public space, | 这里是公共区域 |
| [05:34] | and I know my rights. | 我知道我有哪些公民权利 |
| [05:36] | Showtime! | 表演开始 |
| [05:42] | I was trying to be nice, | 我刚才一直试着对你友善 |
| [05:43] | but you are the rudest puppeteer I’ve ever met. | 但你是我见过最没礼貌的操偶师 |
| [05:46] | And I’m including Shari Lewis, | 比莎里·刘易斯这个 |
| [05:47] | who told my father to shove it on my fifth birthday! | 在我五岁生日派对上 叫我老爸吃屎的人还无礼 |
| [05:50] | Let’s go, Max. | 走吧 麦克斯 |
| [05:53] | Hey… Doll man. | 喂 娃娃男 |
| [05:57] | You don’t want to mess with us. | 惹龙惹凤也别惹我们 |
| [05:59] | I make one call to the cops, | 我给警察打个电话 |
| [06:00] | they do a background check, and I’m pretty sure you’d go | 他们调查一下你的背景 我肯定很快 |
| [06:03] | from “J. Petto” to “J. Petto-Phile.” | 就能查出你恋童癖的事哦 |
| [06:09] | Miss, I dropped my David Hasselhoff. | 小姐 我把”大卫·霍索夫”弄掉地上了 |
| [06:11] | Well, it’s not the first time he’s been on the floor. | 这也不是他第一次倒在地上了 |
| [06:15] | Hey, you can’t talk to me like that. | 不许你这么说我 |
| [06:17] | I studied puppetry in Paris at the palais– | 我曾经就学于巴黎学习木偶艺术… |
| [06:23] | Oh, my God, he slipped on David Hasselhoff! | 天啊 他踩到”大卫·霍索夫” 滑倒了 |
| [06:26] | – Are you okay? – Yeah. | -你没事吧 -没事 |
| [06:27] | Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine. | 我没事 没事啦 |
| [06:29] | I’m just a little embarrassed. | 觉得有点丢脸而已 |
| [06:32] | Oh, no, no. I landed on Pierre! | 惨了 惨了 我压在皮埃尔身上了 |
| [06:36] | Pierre? | 皮埃尔 |
| [06:38] | Here, have a seat. | 来 请坐 |
| [06:39] | Would either of you like a coffee or a free cupcake? | 你要喝杯咖啡还是来个免费小蛋糕吗 |
| [06:42] | No, I’m just gonna pack up and go. Thank you. | 不用 我收拾一下就走 谢谢 |
| [06:46] | Come back anytime for a free cupcake. | 随时欢迎回来吃免费小蛋糕 |
| [06:48] | But no need to bring your dolls. | 不过娃娃就不必带着了 |
| [06:50] | They’re not dolls! I’m a man! | 这不是娃娃好吗 我是个男人 |
| [07:02] | It’s crazy how many hipsters | 我们的新传单发出去后 |
| [07:03] | came into our shop today from our new flyers. | 今天来店里光顾的嬉皮士超级多 |
| [07:06] | We ran completely out of all | 而且店里所有的 |
| [07:07] | the Butterfinger Buttafuocos, | 花生巧克力小蛋糕”巴特福奥克” |
| [07:09] | the Joeys, and even the Mary Jos, | “乔伊”版”以及我本来以为卖不掉的 |
| [07:12] | which I did not think would sell. | “玛丽·乔”版 都统统卖光了呢 |
| [07:14] | I reworked the smashed Nancy Kerrigans | 我把”南茜·克里根”重弄了一下 |
| [07:16] | and called it the Mary Jo. | 然后改叫它”玛丽·乔” |
| [07:19] | Girls, I’m so happy for you. | 姑娘们 我真替你们开心 |
| [07:23] | You know, I remember when my business | 我还记得我生意 |
| [07:25] | first started to take off. | 刚开始蒸蒸日上那会 |
| [07:27] | The first thing I did was to buy the little village | 我第一件事就是把我长大的那小村子 |
| [07:29] | that I grew up in | 给买了下来 |
| [07:31] | and then burn it to the ground! | 然后一把火把它烧成灰烬 |
| [07:35] | I was just so angry | 我恨死他们 |
| [07:37] | they wouldn’t let me be a cheerleader. | 当年不让我加入拉拉队了 |
| [07:40] | No, baby, that was the movie Carrie. | 宝贝 那是电影《卡丽》的情节啦 |
| [07:42] | You fell asleep watching it last night. | 你昨晚看的时候睡着了 |
| [07:45] | Oh. Yeah, I gotta stop watching movies late at night. | 我以后不深夜看电影了 |
| [07:50] | Once, for a whole year, | 我因为这样 有一年 |
| [07:51] | I thought I framed Roger Rabbit. | 我以为是我陷害的兔子罗杰呢 |
| [08:01] | I’m looking for the owners of Max’s homemade cupcakes. | 我想找麦克斯自制小蛋糕的店主 |
| [08:03] | Oh, that’s me. Wow, word is really spreading. | 是我 真是名声传千里啊 |
| [08:06] | How can I help you? | 有什么需要帮忙的吗 |
| [08:07] | You’ve been served. | 你被传唤了 |
| [08:09] | Max, I just got served. | 麦克斯 我被法院传唤[羞辱]了 |
| [08:11] | Did he go after your bangs? ‘Cause that’s where I’d start. | 羞辱你的刘海吗 我肯定先从这开始羞辱起 |
| [08:14] | This is a lawsuit. | 这可是法律诉讼啊 |
| [08:16] | It says, “Max’s homemade cupcakes is being sued | 上面写着 “麦隆·谢尔斯 也就是劫佩托 |
| [08:18] | for injuries sustained in our shop by Myron Shales, | 因在麦克斯自制小蛋糕店摔伤 而以 |
| [08:21] | A.K.A. ‘J. Petto.'” | 故意伤害罪起诉店主” |
| [08:23] | Max, it’s the puppet guy. | 麦克斯 是那个木偶男 |
| [08:25] | He’s suing us? | 他要告咱们啊 |
| [08:27] | We should be suing him for gross… | 应该是我们告他很恶心… |
| [08:29] | I don’t know what the legal words are | 我不知道法律用词怎么说 |
| [08:31] | but just for being gross. | 反正就是告他当个恶心人啦 |
| [08:33] | We can’t afford to be sued. | 我们承受不起被人告 |
| [08:34] | We can’t even afford the lawyer on those bus ads | 我们甚至请不起巴士广告上那个 |
| [08:36] | who has a gavel in one hand and a chicken in the other. | 一手拿小木槌一手抓只鸡的律师 |
| [08:41] | I hope everything was satisfactory. | 希望两位对本店还满意 |
| [08:43] | Can I get you ladies anything else… | 请问两位女士还需要点什么吗 |
| [08:45] | like a strong work ethic? | 比如强烈的职业道德如何 |
| [08:48] | Han, it’s not funny. We’re being sued. | 阿憨 不好玩啦 我们被人告了 |
| [08:51] | Okay, let me see those. | 好吧 文件给我看看 |
| [08:52] | I studied law in Korea, | 我在韩国曾学过法律 |
| [08:53] | but I never made it through graduation. | 但是我没有读到毕业 |
| [08:56] | I realized it wasn’t my passion, | 因为我意识到那不是我的兴趣 |
| [08:57] | and I pulled out. | 所以我中途退出[拔出]了 |
| [09:02] | Did they know it was in? | 有人知道你曾”进去”过吗 |
| [09:05] | Let’s see… | 我看看 |
| [09:09] | Yeah, you’re being sued. | 没错 你们被告了 |
| [09:11] | What law school did you go to, CAL State-the-obvious? | 你念的哪间破学校 加州”陈述事实”大学吗 |
| [09:15] | Did you graduate magna come rarely? | 你是以最少高潮的成绩毕业的吗 |
| [09:20] | I told you, I pulled out. | 我都说了 我退出[拔出]了 |
| [09:24] | But don’t worry, accidents like this happen | 但别担心 这种事故 开店的人 |
| [09:27] | in stores all the time. | 都常常碰到 |
| [09:28] | That’s why all businesses have insurance. | 所以一般开店做生意的都会买保险 |
| [09:31] | Well, not all businesses. | 不是所有的店都有买 |
| [09:35] | How could you not have insurance? | 你们俩怎么能不买保险呢 |
| [09:37] | You need to get protection. | 你们得保护自己啊 |
| [09:39] | And I’m not talking about condoms. | 我不是说戴避孕套的那种”保护” |
| [09:43] | We’re not idiots, Han. | 我们又不是傻子 阿憨 |
| [09:44] | We had the insurance discussion. | 我们曾讨论过是否要买保险 |
| [09:46] | I was like, “Max, we need insurance.” | 我当时说 “麦克斯 我们得买保险” |
| [09:47] | And she was like, “Do we have any money?” | 她说 “我们有钱买吗” |
| [09:48] | And I was like, “No.” And she was like, | 我说”没有” 然后她就说 |
| [09:49] | “What are the chances something will happen?” | “那发生意外的几率是多少” |
| [09:51] | And I was like, “A million to one.” | 我说 “百万分之一吧” |
| [09:52] | And she was like, “I like those odds. | 她就说 “我喜欢这种几率 |
| [09:53] | Let’s go get gummi bears.” And I was like, “Okay. | 我们去买小熊糖吧” 我就说”好吧 |
| [09:55] | But we’ll talk about this at another time.” | 这件事下次得再讨论吧” |
| [09:57] | And here we are talking about it now. | 看 我们现在就在讨论啦 |
| [10:02] | Remember, we have no choice. | 记住 我们别无选择 |
| [10:04] | We have to get him to drop this lawsuit. | 我们必须说服他撤销诉讼 |
| [10:06] | Okay, 3B, here. This is the puppet guy’s apartment. | 3B 到了 这就是那个木偶男的公寓 |
| [10:09] | You say puppet guy, I say serial killer. | 你说他是木偶男 我说他是变态杀人魔 |
| [10:12] | You say apartment, I say the brightest dot | 你说这是公寓 我说这是《梅根法案》 |
| [10:14] | on the “Megan’s law” website. | 网站上最高亮的住址 |
| [10:16] | Max, that is not charming. Stay on message. | 麦克斯 说这种话一点都不讨喜 心里要想着 |
| [10:18] | – We’re charming, we’re sorry… – We’re drunk. | -我们要讨喜 我们很抱歉 -我们喝醉了 |
| [10:21] | Well, I am. | 至少我是 |
| [10:22] | How else do you think I’m gonna pull off charming? | 不然你觉得我怎么扮得出讨喜样 |
| [10:25] | Let’s just get in and out of there. | 咱们快进快出 |
| [10:26] | That puppet creeped me out. | 那个木偶太吓人了 |
| [10:27] | I don’t want to have to see it again. | 我真不想再看见它 |
| [10:35] | Oh, I am not drunk enough for this. | 我还没醉到可以接受这场面 |
| [10:37] | I’ve never been drunk enough for this. | 我喝再醉也接受不了这场面 |
| [10:40] | Is J. Petto home? | 劫佩托在家吗 |
| [10:50] | I’m kind of surprised. | 真让我大吃一惊 |
| [10:51] | I did not think he’d have a girlfriend. | 我还以为他没有女朋友呢 |
| [10:54] | Hello. | 你们好 |
| [10:56] | Well, I hope you enjoyed meeting Yvette. | 希望你们会喜欢伊薇特 |
| [10:59] | She plays the lute, you know. | 她会弹琵琶哦 |
| [11:02] | Oh, yes, she was very charming. | 是啊 她非常可爱 |
| [11:05] | And small. She must make your penis look huge. | 也非常迷你 肯定会显得你的鸡鸡很大吧 |
| [11:08] | I’m sorry? | 你说什么 |
| [11:11] | Charming, Max, charming. | 要讨喜 麦克斯 要讨喜 |
| [11:14] | Hi, we just stopped by to bring you some cupcakes. | 我们顺路给你带了点小蛋糕过来 |
| [11:16] | We feel so bad about what happened. | 之前的事真的很抱歉 |
| [11:18] | Can we come in for a minute? | 能进去坐会聊聊吗 |
| [11:20] | Um, well, I wasn’t expecting company, | 我没想到今天会有客人来 |
| [11:23] | but come in. | 但是进来吧 |
| [11:25] | We’re all just hangin’ out. | 我们大伙正玩得欢呢 |
| [11:27] | Oh, oh, this isn’t weird. This isn’t weird at all. | 这不诡异 这一点也不诡异 |
| [11:31] | It’s like we’re in a dead body car wash. | 感觉好像进了死尸洗车机 |
| [11:36] | I had a nightmare that I had a nightmare like this once. | 我曾做过个恶梦 梦到自己梦到这场景 |
| [11:40] | Just so you know, | 先说好哦 |
| [11:42] | I’m not allowed to talk about the lawsuit. | 根据规定 我不能谈论这次诉讼的事 |
| [11:45] | Well, I’m not allowed to talk | 真巧 我也不能谈论 |
| [11:46] | about how I really feel right now. | 自己此时此刻的真实感受 |
| [11:49] | Speaking of the lawsuit, you seem well– | 说到这次的诉讼 你看起来没事啊 |
| [11:52] | you know, physically-which is great, | 身上没伤 这挺好的 |
| [11:53] | because the suit said you had a shattered arm | 因为你在讼词里说 你手臂摔断 |
| [11:55] | and a broken hip. | 髋骨骨折 |
| [11:57] | Oh, yeah, I’m not suing you | 是啊 我告你们 |
| [11:59] | for my shattered arm and hip. | 不是为了我自己的手臂和髋骨 |
| [12:01] | It’s-it’s for Pierre’s. | 受伤的是皮埃尔 |
| [12:11] | I crushed his little body when I fell. | 我摔倒的时候 压坏了他的小身板 |
| [12:14] | He must have thrown himself under my body | 他肯定是为了保护我 才舍身飞到我身后 |
| [12:16] | to protect my fall. | 给我当垫背的 |
| [12:20] | Dexter, party of one. | 《嗜血法医》 这有一个等你料理 |
| [12:24] | I have to rotate his arm and hold it every 15 minutes | 为了让他恢复关节的正常活动 我每隔15分钟 |
| [12:28] | to get his full range of motion back. | 就得旋转他的胳膊 然后扶好固定 |
| [12:30] | That’s what the sling’s about. I know he’s not alive. | 这悬带就是为了固定 我知道他不是活人 |
| [12:34] | Do you? | 真的吗 |
| [12:38] | We’re very sorry for his injury, | 他受伤了 我们真的非常抱歉 |
| [12:40] | but this is absurd. | 但这也太荒谬了吧 |
| [12:41] | You can’t sue us because your puppet broke. | 你不能因为你的木偶坏了就告我们啊 |
| [12:44] | Yes, I can. This puppet is my livelihood, | 当然能 这个木偶是我的谋生之道 |
| [12:46] | and he’s heavily insured. | 而且我给他投了大保 |
| [12:48] | Great, the puppet has insurance, and we don’t. | 太棒了 连木偶都有保险 而我们俩活人却没有 |
| [12:51] | – Max! – What? | -麦克斯 -什么 |
| [12:52] | You don’t have insurance? | 你们俩没有保险吗 |
| [12:54] | You have a business but no insurance? | 你们俩居然有钱做生意 没钱买保险 |
| [12:56] | Look, we can’t go to court. It would wreck us. | 我们不能上法庭 这会让我们倾家荡产的 |
| [12:59] | Can we leave the lawyers out of this | 这事能不能别通过法律途径 |
| [13:01] | and come up with a more creative solution? | 找一个更有创意的解决办法 |
| [13:03] | I mean, you’re clearly creative. | 一看你就是创意十足的人 |
| [13:04] | Look, you even made a skeleton king. | 瞧 你还做了一个骷髅王 |
| [13:07] | That’s not a skeleton king. | 那不是什么骷髅王 |
| [13:09] | That’s Pazuzu, prince of darkness. | 那是恶魔帕祖祖 邪恶王子 |
| [13:13] | Let me just put this out there | 那我就不妨直说吧 |
| [13:15] | because we should really move things along, | 因为这事得尽快解决 |
| [13:17] | and also, I’m afraid. | 而且我很害怕 |
| [13:19] | How much is it gonna take to make this go away? | 要多少钱你才愿意跟我们庭外和解 |
| [13:22] | Do you want to take a second to consult | 你需要时间咨询下 |
| [13:23] | with one of your roommates? | 你其中一位室友吗 |
| [13:24] | I think I saw a lawyer doll. | 我好像看见有律师娃娃 |
| [13:27] | He is not a lawyer. He is a Maitre D’. | 他不是律师 他是餐厅领班 |
| [13:30] | And a damn good one! | 而且超能干的呢 |
| [13:33] | You women just don’t get it. | 你们女人就是不了解 |
| [13:36] | This is why I broke up with | 所以我才会通过网络电话 |
| [13:37] | my Toronto-based girlfriend over Skype. | 跟我多伦多的女友分手 |
| [13:41] | Right? | 是吧 |
| [13:43] | $1,000 by Monday. | 一千块 周一前给我 |
| [13:46] | But if she makes another comment about my intricate, | 但如果她再称我精心制作 |
| [13:49] | hand-carved marionettes being dolls… | 手工雕刻的牵线木偶为娃娃的话… |
| [13:53] | it goes up. | 价格也会水涨船高 |
| [13:56] | Fine, $1,000 and no strings. | 好 一千块 无其他附件条件[无线] |
| [13:59] | – Except for the ones on all – Max, don’t say it! | -除了那些有附加”线”的… -麦克斯 闭嘴 |
| [14:06] | Valley of the dolls, Return to the valley of the dolls, | 电影《娃娃谷》 《重返娃娃谷》 |
| [14:08] | Chucky, Bride of Chucky, Hello Dolly, Dollywood, | 《鬼娃回魂》《鬼娃新娘》《你好 美娃》桃莱坞 |
| [14:10] | And the Dalai Lama! | 还有达赖[娃娃]喇嘛 |
| [14:15] | Those are the things I was holding in. | 这些是我刚忍着的吐槽词 |
| [14:17] | Oh, wait-Doll and Oates! | 等等 还有”娃尔与奥兹” |
| [14:23] | Now what? | 现在怎么办 |
| [14:23] | How are we gonna get 1,000 extra dollars by Monday? | 我们周一前怎么筹到这额外的一千块 |
| [14:27] | Wait, Max, we can go to that bar | 等等 麦克斯 我们可以去酒吧 |
| [14:28] | and exploit your special gifts. | 运用下你特殊的天赋 |
| [14:30] | If I have to strip, I have to strip. | 君要臣脱 臣不得不脱 |
| [14:34] | Not that kind of bar, the hipster trivia bar. | 不是脱衣舞酒吧啦 是嬉皮士的冷知识酒吧 |
| [14:37] | Can’t I just strip? At least I’d still have my dignity. | 不能跳脱衣舞就好吗 至少这样还有点尊严 |
| [14:45] | It’s all here. $1,000. | 钱都在这了 一共一千块 |
| [14:48] | So that’s it. No more lawsuit. | 事情解决 诉讼撤销 |
| [14:50] | Actually, that’s not it. | 老实说 事情还没解决 |
| [14:52] | As it turns out, we’re gonna need 500 more. | 事实证明 还得再给五百块 |
| [14:54] | For what? Did your dues for the serial killer’s union | 为什么 难不成连环杀手协会和恋童癖协会 |
| [14:57] | and the pedophile guild come up at the same time this year? | 今年都得在同一时间交年费吗 |
| [15:01] | Pierre’s in crisis! | 皮埃尔情况十分不妙 |
| [15:04] | But his psychiatrist could tell you more about that. | 就让他的精神科医生跟你们解释吧 |
| [15:08] | If there’s a psychiatrist in this apartment | 如果这公寓里有精神科医生 |
| [15:10] | who hasn’t locked him up, I don’t trust his opinion. | 却没有把这疯子关起来 他的意见我才不信 |
| [15:14] | I’m Dr. Pangloss. | 我是潘格罗斯医生 |
| [15:18] | Pierre broke more than his hip in your cupcake shop. | 皮埃尔在你们店里 不仅摔伤了他的髋骨 |
| [15:22] | He broke his spirit. | 还摔垮了他的精神 |
| [15:26] | He lost his dream! | 摔碎了他的梦想 |
| [15:30] | He no longer wants to perform. | 他现在再也不想表演了 |
| [15:37] | This is where he cuts us in half | 现在他要把我们切成两半 |
| [15:38] | and sews my top to your bottom. | 把我的上半身跟你的下半身缝在一起了 |
| [15:40] | On the plus side, we’d look amazing. | 从好的方面看 就是前凸后翘腿子长 |
| [15:43] | Yeah, well, you heard it. | 没错 你们也听见了 |
| [15:45] | Pierre’s ready to give up his art, | 皮埃尔准备放弃他的艺术生涯 |
| [15:47] | and he needs a little more money. | 所以他需要多一点钱 |
| [15:49] | Forget it, puppet nuts. We don’t have $500. | 休想 脑残娃娃迷 我们没有五百块 |
| [15:51] | We don’t have 500 anything. | 也无任何数量达五百的东西 |
| [15:53] | Well, think about it. | 好好考虑下吧 |
| [15:56] | That’s my tea kettle. Yvette! | 我的茶壶烧开了 伊薇特 |
| [15:58] | Uhh! I’ll do it. | 算了 我自己来吧 |
| [16:01] | I’m not so sure the hostility is quite working, | 我觉得你凶他一点用都没有 |
| [16:03] | so why don’t you go wait in the hall? | 不如你去走廊里等着吧 |
| [16:05] | And I’ll try to talk some sense into him alone. | 我会试着好好跟他讲讲理 |
| [16:07] | You are the only person in the world | 你是这世界唯一一个 |
| [16:09] | who would insist on being alone with this man, | 坚持要跟他单独共处一室的人 |
| [16:11] | but okay. | 不过随你吧 |
| [16:13] | Please just listen. We are broke. | 拜托听我说 我们俩一穷二白 |
| [16:15] | To get any more money, we’d have to strip. | 要再赚五百块 我们就得去跳脱衣舞了 |
| [16:18] | Well, Gigi and Lana started off as strippers, | 琪琪和拉娜一开始也是脱衣舞娘 |
| [16:21] | and now they’re in the Folies Bergere, so… | 而现在她们可是女神游乐厅的红人 所以… |
| [16:26] | You know, even for a middle-aged puppeteer, | 人到中年 还当操偶师已经很怪 |
| [16:28] | you’re a freak. | 而你是怪中之怪 |
| [16:30] | See you in court! | 法庭上见 |
| [16:34] | Nothing. He’s gonna sue us, | 没成功 他告定咱们了 |
| [16:35] | and we have no other tricks up our sleeve. | 我们也没有其他锦囊妙计了 |
| [16:37] | Well, maybe not my sleeve, but how about my coat? | 或许我的锦囊里没有 但请看我的外套 |
| [16:42] | – Pierre? – Right there. | -皮埃尔 -被老娘偷出来了 |
| [16:54] | I’m sorry, we’re not open today. | 抱歉 本日闭店 |
| [16:57] | I know you took him. Give me back Pierre! | 我知道你把皮埃尔拿走了 快还给我 |
| [17:01] | We’re not open. | 都说了本日闭店 |
| [17:02] | We’ve had a terrible tragedy. | 我们发生了一场可怕的悲剧 |
| [17:03] | Well, not us, but a new friend of ours | 虽然不是我们本人 但我们的新朋友 |
| [17:06] | had a gruesome accident, and we are just devastated. | 发生了可怕的意外 我们悲痛至极 |
| [17:09] | You wouldn’t be that cruel. | 你不会那么残忍吧 |
| [17:12] | Relax, I could never be that cruel. | 放轻松 我当然不会这么残忍 |
| [17:14] | But Max could. | 但麦克斯就很难说了 |
| [17:21] | Look who it is, Pierre, your lover, J. Petto! | 瞧瞧谁来了 皮埃尔 是你的爱人 劫佩托 |
| [17:25] | He’s not gay. | 他不是同性恋 |
| [17:29] | He had a girlfriend named Lulu. | 他有女朋友的 她叫露露 |
| [17:30] | She was a–she was a courtesan in the court of a french king. | 她曾是…法国国王的宫廷名妓 |
| [17:33] | They broke up over a brief flirtation she had with Yvette. | 他们之所以分手 是因为露露跟伊薇特调情 |
| [17:37] | And I know they’re not alive! | 我知道他们不是活人 |
| [17:41] | Now, what do you say we stick to the original no-strings deal? | 我们就遵守原本没附加条件约定 你看如何 |
| [17:45] | ’cause if you don’t, Max will show you | 因为如果你不愿意 麦克斯会让你见识下 |
| [17:46] | what “no strings” really means. | 什么是真正的”没有线”[附加] |
| [17:49] | Do it! Go! Bring it! | 剪啊 来啊 有种你就剪断它 |
| [17:52] | I can always re-string him. I’m a master of my craft. | 反正我能重新绑 我可是这门手艺的大师 |
| [17:56] | Yes, we thought you’d say that. | 没错 我们早知道你会这么说 |
| [17:58] | So you leave us no choice. Max… | 你让我们别无选择 麦克斯 |
| [18:01] | What? I– | 什么 我… |
| [18:03] | I’m not changing my mind. | 我不会改变主意的 |
| [18:05] | And I’m coming back with the police. | 我要去找警察来 |
| [18:09] | Oh, I wouldn’t get the cops involved… | 是我就不会叫警察哦 |
| [18:12] | Now that your boy here is in a… | 因为你的小娃娃现在… |
| [18:14] | compromising situation! | 抓奸在床 进退两难啊 |
| [18:33] | How dare you! | 你好大的胆子 |
| [18:36] | And she does not like the feel of a condom! | 她做爱时可不喜欢戴套哦 |
| [18:42] | You two are sick! | 你们俩变态 |
| [18:45] | Hey, we don’t judge. | 我们才不会批评他们 |
| [18:48] | We think whatever two consenting dolls, | 我们觉得无论这两名成年娃娃 |
| [18:50] | or maybe three consenting dolls do– | 或这三名成年娃娃做什么… |
| [18:54] | and it’s gonna be bad | 我肯定场面不会好看 |
| [18:56] | ’cause he’s a grower, not a shower. | 他可是不硬则小 一硬惊人哦 |
| [19:04] | And once a few of these pics are posted online, | 一旦这些照片放上网 |
| [19:08] | there goes your children’s party business. | 你儿童派对的生意也会跟着完蛋 |
| [19:11] | Now, call it quits, and you can delete these pics. | 现在认输 我就把照片全删了 |
| [19:14] | Fine. Yes. Okay, you win. You win. You win. | 好 我认 你们赢了 你们赢了 |
| [19:17] | Oh, we’re not falling for your word again. | 口说无凭 我们不会再上当受骗了 |
| [19:20] | If you want your doll back– | 如果你想要回你的娃娃 |
| [19:22] | For the last time, he is not a doll! | 再说最后一遍 他不是娃娃 |
| [19:25] | Bring us a notarized letter saying | 我们要收到公证过的信件 |
| [19:27] | you release Max’s homemade cupcakes | 写明你放弃对麦克斯自制小蛋糕店 |
| [19:29] | of all further legal action, | 采取进一步的法律行动 |
| [19:30] | and we’ll give you back Pierre, perfectly intact. | 然后我们就会把皮埃尔原封不动地还给你 |
| [19:33] | Minus his virginity, of course. | 当然 童贞还不了了 |
| [19:36] | But don’t worry, you’ll still have yours. | 不过别担心 你的童贞一定还在 |
| [19:41] | Okay, I’ll be back as soon as I can. | 好的 我会尽快回来的 |
| [19:44] | Ugh, 30 years in the cutthroat world of puppets, | 在残酷的木偶界混了三十年 |
| [19:47] | and I’m undone by two crazy cupcake bitches! | 居然栽在两个卖蛋糕的疯婆子手上 |
| [19:56] | Did you hear that? 30 years? | 你听到了吗 三十年啊 |
| [20:00] | 30 years of following his dream, and he’s still broke? | 追梦整整三十年 他还是一无所有 |
| [20:03] | Is that gonna be us, Max? | 我们也会这样吗 麦克斯 |
| [20:04] | Is our dream just as stupid as puppets? | 我们的梦想跟木偶一样愚蠢吗 |
| [20:07] | Sorry, Pierre, I forgot you were here. | 抱歉 皮埃尔 忘了你还在 |
| [20:09] | He’s sound asleep. | 他好像睡着了 |
| [20:10] | Three-ways really take it out of you. | “三人行”把他的体力榨干了 |
| [20:13] | Here, dress her. She has to get a cab. | 给 帮她把衣服穿上 她得打车走人了 |
| [20:15] | She’d rather sleep in her own bed. | 她宁愿回家睡自己的床 |
| [20:20] | And do you know why we’re not gonna turn into him? | 你知道为什么我们不会变成他那样吗 |
| [20:22] | Because 30 years ago, when J. Petto said, | 因为30年前 当劫佩托说 |
| [20:25] | “I’m gonna be a puppeteer,” | “我要成为一名操偶师”时 |
| [20:26] | he didn’t have a best friend to tell him, | 他身边没有好友告诉他 |
| [20:28] | “You shouldn’t do that. It’s a stupid idea.” | “你不该这样 这主意蠢透了” |
| [20:31] | And unlike him, you have me to tell you | 你不像他 你有我来告诉你 |
| [20:32] | when it’s a stupid idea. | 哪些是蠢主意 |
| [20:34] | And I have you to tell me not to mace myself, | 而你也会告诉我 不要用狼牙棒打自己 |
| [20:36] | no matter how bad I want to know how it feels. | 尽管我超级想试试是什么感觉 |
| [20:39] | So the cupcake shop isn’t a stupid idea? | 那蛋糕店不是蠢主意吗 |
| [20:41] | No. And it’s actually starting to take off. | 不是 而且生意刚要好转呢 |
| [20:44] | ’cause no one embraces a stupid idea like a hipster. | 因为蠢主意什么的 最合嬉皮士胃口了 |
| [20:47] | But, Max, we do need insurance. | 但麦克斯 我们真需要买保险了 |
| [20:49] | – But do we have the money? – No. | -可我们有钱买吗 -没有 |
| [20:51] | What are the chances someone else is gonna fall? | 那别人在店里摔倒的几率是多少 |
| [20:53] | A million to one. | 百万分之一 |
| [20:54] | I like those odds. | 我喜欢这种几率 |
| [20:56] | You know, this is a really cute dress. | 这个裙子真可爱 |
| [20:58] | Forget the dress. | 裙子算屁啊 |
| [21:00] | Look at his cute pants. | 你看他的小裤裤 |
| [21:02] | We really should give them to Han. | 我们真应该送给阿憨穿 |