| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | This is it, Max. | 麦克斯 成啦 |
| [00:02] | The first private party we’ve booked in our cupcake shop. | 这是我们小店接的第一个私人派对单呢 |
| [00:07] | What? You said it was a private party, | 干嘛 你说私人派对啊 |
| [00:09] | And this is a party I keep near my privates. | 这是我放在”私”处旁的”派对” |
| [00:12] | Fine, but they can’t smell it on your breath, | 随你吧 不过不能让人家闻到酒味 |
| [00:14] | So eat a mint after. | 等会吃颗薄荷糖吧 |
| [00:15] | No need. It’s peppermint schnapps, | 不必 这刚好是薄荷杜松子酒 |
| [00:17] | ’cause I think ahead. | 看我多深谋远虑啊 |
| [00:19] | I think this calls for a “first party” dance. | 这值得来一段”首次派对”舞吧 |
| [00:22] | * First par-tay * | * 首次派对 * |
| [00:23] | * Who gonna have a first par-tay * | * 谁首次要派对啦 * |
| [00:25] | * We gon’ have a first par-tay * | * 我们首次要派对啦 * |
| [00:27] | That’s the exact same dance you did | 保护动物协会上次送你 |
| [00:28] | when the humane society sent you free puppy address labels. | 狗狗地址条的时候 你不也跳这支舞吗 |
| [00:33] | * Address labels * | * 地址条 * |
| [00:34] | * Who got doggies on an envelope * | * 谁家信封上有狗狗地址条啊 * |
| [00:36] | * Who got doggies on an envelope * | * 谁家信封上有狗狗地址条啊 * |
| [00:38] | * I need another sip of this * | * 我得再喝一口啦 * |
| [00:40] | * Wish I had something stronger * | * 真希望我有更烈的酒 * |
| [00:42] | Max, I’m sorry. I can’t help it. | 麦克斯 不好意思啦 我忍不住嘛 |
| [00:44] | I’m just so excited my genius marketing ideas | 想到我天才般的营销策略终于有成效 |
| [00:46] | are finally starting to pay off. | 我就兴奋得不得了嘛 |
| [00:49] | Quiet! Quiet! | 安静 安静 |
| [00:52] | Quiet! Quiet! | 安静 都安静 |
| [00:55] | If you aren’t listening, | 你们不好好听话 |
| [00:57] | Cupcake Max can’t teach you how to decorate. | 小蛋糕麦克斯姐姐怎么教你们弄装饰啊 |
| [01:14] | It’s weird how sex is so great, | 性爱如此愉悦 |
| [01:16] | and yet, it makes these. | 为何后果令人想哭 |
| [01:39] | Ho ho ho! | 呵 呵 呵 |
| [01:41] | Talking to you, Max. | 在跟你说呢 麦克斯 |
| [01:43] | I know. What’s up, Andy? | 我知道 怎么样 安迪 |
| [01:45] | I brought some christmas candy from my shop for the diner. | 像圣诞老人一样带糖果来送你们啦 |
| [01:52] | Look, Max, Santa did come. | 麦克斯 圣诞老人真的来了[高潮] |
| [01:55] | From just a kiss? | 亲个嘴就高潮啊 |
| [01:58] | Well, you didn’t see what she was doing with her hands. | 那是你没看到她的手在底下干嘛了 |
| [02:01] | I taught her that. | 那是我教她的 |
| [02:02] | That’s my gift to you. Merry christmas. | 算我给你的礼物 圣诞快乐啦 |
| [02:07] | Hey, is everything okay with your shop? | 对了 你们的小店都还好吧 |
| [02:09] | ‘Cause the landlord came into my store today | 今天你们房东走进我的店 |
| [02:11] | and mentioned you guys hadn’t paid your rent. | 说你们还没付租金呢 |
| [02:12] | If there’s a problem, I’d be more than happy to help. | 要是有什么问题 我很乐意帮忙啊 |
| [02:14] | Well, the fact is, we just don’t have– | 其实呢 我们不够… |
| [02:16] | Don’t have a clue why our online payments | 我们完全不知道我们的线上转账 |
| [02:18] | just never go through. Technology, right? | 怎么没入到他账呢 科技真不靠谱啊 |
| [02:21] | You used to be able to shake the mailman’s hand. | 想当年我们还能跟邮差先生握握手 |
| [02:23] | Now it’s all holograms and lasers. | 现在就剩全息影像跟激光了 |
| [02:25] | Grandma’s right, those were the days. | 老奶奶说得对 当年的确是那样 |
| [02:28] | It was a more honest time. | 想当年 人们多诚实啊 |
| [02:31] | Okay. Well, I gotta go. | 好啦 我得走了 |
| [02:33] | A kiss for Caroline. | 送卡洛琳宝贝一个吻 |
| [02:36] | Oh, that was a new kind of kiss. | 哎哟 新吻法耶 |
| [02:39] | I liked it. | 我喜欢 |
| [02:40] | Max taught me. | 麦克斯教我的 |
| [02:45] | What’s with the lies? Just tell him the truth. | 你干嘛要撒谎 跟他坦白不行吗 |
| [02:47] | We can’t pay our rent, life sucks, | 我们付不出租金 生活惨惨戚戚 |
| [02:49] | and you need wine before oral. | 要你口交得先灌醉你 |
| [02:53] | No need. | 不用跟他说 |
| [02:53] | We still have two other private parties set up for this month: | 我们这个月还有两个私人派对单呢 |
| [02:56] | the quinceanera for that pregnant girl, | 那个怀胎少女的成年礼 |
| [02:58] | and then her baby shower. | 与之后她宝宝的迎婴派对 |
| [03:00] | Plus, the holidays are coming, | 而且圣诞节也要到了 |
| [03:02] | So we should get our decorations up ASAP, | 我们也该尽快弄好把圣诞装饰 |
| [03:04] | or Santa won’t know where to find us. | 不然圣诞老公公会找不到我们哦 |
| [03:06] | Oh, he’ll know where to find us. | 他才不会找不到呢 |
| [03:07] | We’ll be the two evicted girls | 我们会是两个被人赶出门 |
| [03:08] | eating fruitcake out of a dumpster. | 从垃圾堆里找食物的悲催女 |
| [03:11] | Oh, look, here comes one of the reindeers now. | 你看 圣诞老人的其中一只麋鹿来了 |
| [03:16] | You look like a Korean coat rack. | 你看起来像个韩国衣帽架 |
| [03:21] | Everybody can stop looking. | 大家不用费心找了 |
| [03:23] | We found the grinch. | 怪物圣诞怪杰就在这 |
| [03:25] | No wonder it’s so angry, it’s working for minimum wage. | 也难怪她易怒 领着最低工资能不易怒吗 |
| [03:32] | Oh, you’re hanging the Christmas decorations. | 你在挂圣诞装饰啊 |
| [03:35] | I already put up the mistletoe. | 我已经把榭寄生挂好了呢 |
| [03:37] | Where? | 你挂哪了 |
| [03:39] | Let’s just say it’s very well-hung. | 反正挂得非常好[非常大雕]就是了 |
| [03:46] | Well, all my checks are in, | 我的单都交上去了 |
| [03:47] | so I have to run and make a cupcake delivery. | 所以我要去外送小蛋糕了 |
| [03:50] | Here, take this and put it in the till. | 给 把这些放进小店里的收银机吧 |
| [03:52] | I did a cupcake run last night too. | 我昨晚也去外送了 |
| [03:53] | Wait, who orders cupcakes at 2:00 A.M.? | 等等 有谁会半夜两点叫小蛋糕啊 |
| [03:56] | Um, my friends. | 就我的一些朋友啊 |
| [03:58] | You don’t have any friends. | 你又没有朋友 |
| [03:59] | I have so many friends. | 我朋友超多好吗 |
| [04:02] | Who are your friends? | 你朋友都谁啊 |
| [04:03] | Some people I know. | 就我认识的一些人啊 |
| [04:04] | Then how come I’ve never met them? | 那我怎么都没见过呢 |
| [04:05] | Well, they don’t like you. | 因为他们不喜欢你 |
| [04:08] | But they don’t know me. | 他们又不认识我 |
| [04:09] | They don’t like what they’ve heard about you. | 他们听过你的事迹之后不喜欢你 |
| [04:12] | But who would they have heard things from but you? | 他们能知道也都是你说出来的事吧 |
| [04:14] | Maybe from my other group of friends. | 也可以是从我别群朋友那里听的啊 |
| [04:16] | They don’t like you either. Later. | 他们也不喜欢你 再见啦 |
| [04:23] | Max, you can turn around. | 麦克斯 转过身来 |
| [04:24] | That’s right, I followed you. | 没错 我跟踪了你 |
| [04:30] | Sorry for following you. | 抱歉我跟踪了你 |
| [04:31] | It’s just, you have the hair and jacket of a woman. | 只是你跟一个女人的发型和外套很像 |
| [04:33] | In a good way. | 我是称赞你啦 |
| [04:36] | Did you actually think that was me? | 你不会把他认错成是我吧 |
| [04:37] | My beard is much thicker. | 我的胡须比他浓密多了 |
| [04:39] | Well, where are we going? | 我们到底是要上哪去啊 |
| [04:40] | Why are we in this seedy building | 我们干嘛来这个破烂建筑里啊 |
| [04:42] | That smells like marijuana? | 这里好浓的大麻味 |
| [04:44] | Oh, my God, is this where your mom lives? | 天啊 这里是你妈妈住的地方吗 |
| [04:46] | You think my mom lives indoors? | 你居然以为我妈住室内啊 |
| [04:49] | Okay, look, for the last few nights, | 好啦 最近几晚 |
| [04:51] | my dealer calls me after she sells pot to people, | 我的大麻贩友人在卖货后会通知我 |
| [04:54] | and then I sell those people the munchies they need. | 然后我就趁人抽完肚子饿时来卖零嘴 |
| [04:56] | Max, this is New York. That’s illegal! | 麦克斯 这里是纽约 那是犯法的 |
| [04:58] | No, giant sodas are illegal. | 才没有 大瓶汽水才犯法呢 |
| [05:00] | This is me selling cupcakes to make our rent. | 我这是在卖小蛋糕赚租金 |
| [05:03] | And besides, it’s not a big deal. | 而且这又没什么大不了的 |
| [05:05] | Pot’s legal in Washington, Massachusetts, | 在华盛顿州 麻省 科罗拉多州 加州 |
| [05:07] | Colorado, and California. | 大麻可都是合法的呢 |
| [05:08] | Well, thank you for the stoner’s summary of the last election, | 感谢你的选举过后 毒虫政策精选啊 |
| [05:11] | but we don’t live in any of those places, | 但我们又不住那些地方 |
| [05:13] | And I do not approve of pot at all. | 而我也完全讨厌大麻这玩意 |
| [05:15] | It makes people lazy and lethargic, | 让人们懒惰又恍惚 |
| [05:17] | and drains all one’s ambitions. | 还把人的理想志向全吸走 |
| [05:19] | God, you’re fun. | 天啊 你真”有趣” |
| [05:22] | Look, on the other side of this door | 在这扇门的背后 |
| [05:24] | is money to help us make the $600 more we need for rent. | 有着能让我们多付600块租金的机会 |
| [05:27] | It’s totally up to you. | 你决定吧 |
| [05:28] | Should I knock, or not knock? | 我该敲门 还是不敲门呢 |
| [05:31] | What’s good, Max? | 你好吗 麦克斯 |
| [05:32] | Hey, Keefer. This is my friend Caroline. | 琦芙 她是我的朋友 卡洛琳 |
| [05:34] | Pleasure, my goddess. | 幸会 美丽的女神 |
| [05:35] | Come on in. I just broke out some dank nugs. | 进来吧 我刚开了一些高纯麻[鸡块]抽呢 |
| [05:39] | Oh, thanks, but we actually just had some dank nugs. | 谢了 我们才刚吃过不久呢 |
| [05:43] | First of all, that’s your new nickname, | 以后这就是你的绰号了 |
| [05:46] | And, Keefer, I don’t want to rush you, | 还有 琦芙 我不想催你 |
| [05:47] | but me and dank nugs have to get home. | 但是我跟鸡块妹赶着回家 |
| [05:50] | Okay, cool, I’ll be right back with the cash. | 行 没问题 我马上拿钱过来 |
| [05:52] | Second-hand smoke, second-hand smoke. | 二手烟 二手烟 |
| [05:55] | Second-hand nerd, second-hand nerd. | 二手弱宅 二手弱宅 |
| [05:57] | Here you go, | 拿去吧 |
| [05:59] | they were feeling kinda generous. | 他们今晚挺大方的 |
| [06:00] | Nice to meet you, nugs. | 很高兴见到你啊 鸡块妹 |
| [06:02] | Nice meeting you too. | 我也很高兴认识你啊 |
| [06:04] | Peace. | 再见啦 |
| [06:07] | There. A hundred bucks. | 一看 整整一百块 |
| [06:09] | Oh, my God, Max, that’s a hundred-dollar bill! | 天啊 麦克斯 百元大钞呢 |
| [06:11] | How easy was that? | 你看 多轻松啊 |
| [06:13] | And we didn’t even have to open the shop. | 而且连店面都不需要 |
| [06:15] | I mean, what is the problem with doing this? | 我这样卖哪有什么不行嘛 |
| [06:17] | You’re right, I overreacted. | 你说得对 我反应过激了 |
| [06:18] | We’re not selling pot. We’re selling cupcakes. | 我们又不是卖大麻 只是卖小蛋糕而已 |
| [06:20] | We didn’t break any laws. | 我们又没犯法 |
| [06:22] | There’s nothing illegal about it. | 完全没有不法之处 |
| [06:23] | Move! Move! Move! | 闪边 闪边 闪边 |
| [06:25] | I didn’t know! I didn’t know! | 我不知道 我真不知情啊 |
| [06:26] | Go! Go! Go! Keep going, now! | 上上上 快上啊 |
| [06:27] | Police! Go! Go, now! | 警察 上啊 快上 |
| [06:30] | Put the meth down! Put the meth down! | 放下你手中的冰毒 快放下你的冰毒 |
| [06:35] | ‘Sup? | 你好啊 帅哥 |
| [06:38] | Move! Go! Go! Get him out! Let’s go! | 走 出来吧 把他揪出来 |
| [06:40] | Bring him out! Go! Go! Go! | 快把他给揪出来 出来 出来 |
| [06:42] | I told you not to get involved with drugs! | 我都说了让你别跟毒品沾边 |
| [06:44] | I told you! | 我早告诉过你了 |
| [06:46] | Shut it, Carol! Shut it! | 闭嘴 卡洛 闭嘴 |
| [06:53] | I can’t believe that just happened. | 我真不敢相信刚才那一切 |
| [06:55] | I know, it’s like, “let it go, Carol.” | 对啊 感觉就是”少废话了 卡洛” |
| [06:59] | We’re done with drugs. I was right. | 我们不许再跟毒沾边了 我没说错 |
| [07:02] | And now you know why my friends don’t like you. | 现在知道为什么我的朋友们都讨厌你了吧 |
| [07:12] | And remember, we do private parties, | 别忘了 我们也接私人派对 |
| [07:14] | Wedding parties, birthday parties– | 婚礼派对 生日派对…. |
| [07:15] | All right, there’s a dozen. What’s the special occasion? | 好了 一打小蛋糕 庆祝什么呢 |
| [07:18] | My cat died. | 我的猫死掉了 |
| [07:21] | we also do funerals, divorces… | 我们也接丧礼 离婚… |
| [07:25] | and sad friday nights alone. | 孤单周五晚的单也接 |
| [07:27] | Thank you. | 谢谢惠顾 |
| [07:30] | Okay, so that’s 48 more dollars. | 好了 又赚了48块钱 |
| [07:32] | – Now, all we need is – For 72 more cats to die. | -我们只需要… -再有72只猫死就行了 |
| [07:35] | Max, there’s no need to kill imaginary cats. | 麦克斯 别这样乱咒猫嘛 |
| [07:37] | Let’s just send out positive energy, | 我们只需多发送正面能量 |
| [07:39] | and the universe will provide. | 老天爷就会安排好的 |
| [07:42] | Swing and a miss, universe. | 失手了啊 老天爷 |
| [07:45] | Surprise! I was in the neighborhood | 给你们惊喜 我刚好来附近 |
| [07:47] | and thought I’d stop by and say hello. | 就想着过来打声招呼 |
| [07:49] | Under any other circumstance, I’d say, “never do that again,” | 平常呢 我会说”不准你再不请自来” |
| [07:52] | But today, I’m saying, “how many cupcakes do you want”” | 但今天特别 所以”你要买多少小蛋糕呢” |
| [07:54] | And I’m thinking of a number between 10 and 20. | 我觉得就来个10到20个吧 |
| [07:57] | I’m kind of trying to watch my waist. | 我想看着我的腰[照顾体重]呢 |
| [07:59] | Well, you’re closer to it than most people. | 你的头已经比别人更近腰了 |
| [08:05] | I’m gonna start you with 12 cupcakes. | 就先给你来个12个小蛋糕吧 |
| [08:07] | Full price, ’cause you’re family. | 你算家人 就”原价”招待吧 |
| [08:10] | Oh, my God! The phone ringing | 天啊 一边有顾客上门 |
| [08:12] | and a customer at the same time? | 一边还有顾客打来 |
| [08:14] | See, Max, it’s all happening. | 麦克斯 我们的好运到啦 |
| [08:15] | Between the money we just got last night | 我们昨晚赚到的钱 |
| [08:16] | and that pregnant girl’s Quinceanera / Baby shower, | 加怀胎少女的成年礼与迎婴派对 |
| [08:19] | we’re gonna make our rent. | 绝对能赚到租金啊 |
| [08:20] | Max’s Homemade Cupcakes. | 麦克斯自制小蛋糕 |
| [08:22] | Oh, hola, Estella. | 你好啊 埃斯特拉[西语] |
| [08:23] | Si, the Quinceanera / Baby shower. | 是的 成年礼加迎婴派对 |
| [08:26] | Que? | 怎么了 |
| [08:27] | Oh, no. Deported? | 不是吧 遣返 |
| [08:31] | Oh, you can’t afford it. | 哦 是付不起啊 |
| [08:37] | My mal. | 我听错了 |
| [08:39] | Well, sorry, it didn’t work out. Gracias for calling. | 很遗憾未能为你服务 感谢来电 |
| [08:43] | Well, that’s disappointing, | 这下失望了吧 |
| [08:44] | but we should have seen it coming. | 不过我们早该料到有这下场 |
| [08:46] | She couldn’t afford condoms either. | 她连避孕套都买不起 |
| [08:50] | It’s cool. | 没事 |
| [08:51] | I’ll just call Keefer | 我再打给琦芙吧 |
| [08:52] | and try to do a couple more cupcake runs. | 帮她多外送几趟就行了 |
| [08:53] | No, that’s not cool, that’s dangerous. | 不许这样 这太冒险了 |
| [08:56] | It’ll all work out. You know what? | 船到桥头自然直 这样吧 |
| [08:58] | I’m just gonna go over and ask Andy | 我这就过去问安迪 |
| [09:00] | if he’ll float us some cash till the holiday rush kicks in. | 借点钱周转 节日高峰期过后就能还他了 |
| [09:02] | He did offer. | 他也说过要借啊 |
| [09:03] | We should put up some Christmas lights, | 我们也应该挂上圣诞灯 |
| [09:05] | a menorah for Chanukah, and for Kwanzaa… | 犹太光明节的烛台 以及宽扎节的… |
| [09:08] | While I’m gone, why don’t you Wikipedia Kwanzaa? | 我去的时候 你搜搜宽扎节摆饰吧 |
| [09:13] | Well… Here’s the first eight. | 好了 先上八个给你 |
| [09:16] | And how many cupcakes would you like “to go”? | 你还想外带多少个小蛋糕走呢 |
| [09:17] | I’m thinking of a number between 40 and 50. | 我觉得就来个40到50个吧 |
| [09:20] | How come you never push the food at the diner like this? | 你在餐馆的时候怎么不这么推销食物啊 |
| [09:23] | Oh, that’s where I know you from. | 对哦 我是在那里认识你的啊 |
| [09:28] | Start eating. | 快开吃吧 |
| [09:37] | I didn’t do it. | 我没问他借 |
| [09:38] | It’s so not hot. He’s my boyfriend. | 这样太不性感了 他是我男朋友呢 |
| [09:40] | I mean, it’s not like borrowing money from family. | 没办法像跟亲人借钱那样自然 |
| [09:42] | You don’t sleep with your family. | 毕竟我们又不跟自己家人”睡” |
| [09:45] | Not all families are the same, Caroline. | 有些家庭就不是这样呢 卡洛琳 |
| [09:49] | Besides, we’re fine. The universe will provide. | 而且 我们没事的 老天爷会照顾我们 |
| [09:51] | Well, the universe better provide in, | 那老天爷最好是这几秒内 |
| [09:53] | like, a second, ’cause look, there’s the landlord. | 赶紧照顾我们啊 房东来了 |
| [09:55] | He just went into that Moroccan place. | 他已经到斜对面摩洛哥店了 |
| [09:57] | What are we gonna do? | 我们该怎么办 |
| [09:58] | – Hide! – What? | -躲啊 -什么 |
| [09:59] | Well, I should go. | 好了 我该走了 |
| [10:01] | It’s too late for that! | 想走已经太迟了 |
| [10:02] | Lock the door, hit the lights, | 锁门 关灯 |
| [10:03] | and crawl over here, and stay low! | 爬过来 蹲下身子 |
| [10:07] | Stay down till we’re out of sight. | 在他看不见前 不要起身 |
| [10:11] | Ow, it hurts! | 膝盖好疼哦 |
| [10:12] | Oh, please. Like this is the first time | 拜托 说得像这是 |
| [10:14] | you’ve been on your knees in the bathroom. | 你第一次在厕所里”跪地抬臀”一样 |
| [10:17] | Caroline, you don’t have to stay on the ground anymore. | 卡洛琳 进来就不用趴地上了啊 |
| [10:19] | I feel like this is where I belong now. | 我觉得我现在低等得只配趴地上 |
| [10:23] | Yo, baker girls. | 烘焙女孩们 |
| [10:24] | Max, he’s in the shop. | 麦克斯 他进店了 |
| [10:26] | – Okay, go, out the window. – Really? | -好吧 爬窗吧 -你说真的吗 |
| [10:28] | If he can’t see us, he can’t evict us. | 他要是没见到我们 就不能赶走我们 |
| [10:29] | Go. | 快啊 |
| [10:33] | It’s a little high. Are you sure? | 有点高耶 你确定吗 |
| [10:35] | You’ve heard “when God closes a door, he opens a window”? | 你听过”当上帝关上门 他也开一扇窗”吧 |
| [10:38] | He’s running from his landlord. | 他当时就是在躲房东 |
| [10:40] | Go. | 跳吧 |
| [10:42] | Okay, here goes. | 好吧 我跳啦 |
| [10:44] | I love you, Max. | 麦克斯 我爱你 |
| [10:47] | What about me? What should I do? | 那我呢 我怎么办 |
| [10:49] | Put the money for those cupcakes on the counter. | 把小蛋糕的钱放柜台上 |
| [10:57] | Who are you? | 你是谁啊 |
| [11:00] | No hablo ingles? | “偶不东英文” |
| [11:06] | All right, all right, good news. | 好了 好消息 |
| [11:07] | I just found $3 in my pocket. | 我刚在我口袋发现3块钱 |
| [11:10] | Oh, and a peanut M&M, | 还有一颗M&M花生巧克力豆 |
| [11:11] | so we don’t have to spend money on dinner. | 我们今晚不必花钱吃晚餐啦 |
| [11:14] | Caroline, why are you putting it off? | 卡洛琳 别再闪躲了 |
| [11:15] | You know what you have to do. | 该干嘛你自己知道 |
| [11:17] | Go over to the couch and put your hands in that crack. | 乖乖伸手去掏沙发缝吧 |
| [11:19] | It’s every poor girl’s rite of passage. | 每个穷姑娘都躲不过这件事 |
| [11:25] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [11:26] | I think something just licked me. | 感觉有东西舔了我一下 |
| [11:30] | I’ll just check our purses. Here’s yours. | 我检查我们的钱包吧 这是你的 |
| [11:32] | Uh, no, no, no. I already checked that. | 不用不用 我已经检查过了 |
| [11:33] | There’s nothing in mine… | 我的钱包里没东西… |
| [11:34] | Except that baggie of pot | 只有一袋大麻 |
| [11:36] | that Keefer gave me as a Christmas present. | 那是琦芙送我的圣诞礼物 |
| [11:38] | Max, this is not a Christmas present. | 麦克斯 这不是什么圣诞礼物 |
| [11:40] | This is a giant, illegal, fat sack of weed. | 这是满满一大袋的非法大麻 |
| [11:43] | Yeah, with a Rudolph sticker, | 对啊 可上面有个麋鹿贴纸 |
| [11:46] | which makes it a Christmas present. | 所以这是圣诞礼物啦 |
| [11:48] | See? His nose and his eyes are red. | 看见没 他的红鼻子和红眼睛多喜庆 |
| [11:52] | I want this out of my sight. You gotta get rid of it. | 我不想看见这玩意 你得让它消失 |
| [11:55] | Well, it’s gonna take me | 我抽完这满满一袋 |
| [11:55] | at least 45 minutes to smoke all that. | 至少得花45分钟呢 |
| [11:58] | Max, I’m serious, | 麦克斯 我是说真的 |
| [12:00] | I’m not comfortable with that fat sack of weed. | 我看着这满满一袋大麻觉得很别扭 |
| [12:02] | Stop saying “fat sack of weed.” | 别再用”满满一袋”这个词 |
| [12:04] | You’re like someone’s dad overusing the word “awesome.” | 你就像那种学了潮流词就猛用的中年父亲 |
| [12:09] | I’ll just put it up here, | 我把它放上面吧 |
| [12:10] | next to the half a Vicodin I was saving for new year’s. | 放在我留着新年嗑的半颗维柯丁[止痛药]旁边 |
| [12:15] | Oh, no! The pot! | 别啊 我的大麻 |
| [12:17] | The pot is in the pot! | 我的大麻掉进锅里了 |
| [12:18] | It’s in the butter I was using to make cupcakes. | 掉到我要用来做小蛋糕的那锅黄油里了 |
| [12:20] | Maybe this is the universe’s way | 也许这是老天爷的旨意 |
| [12:22] | of telling you to stop doing drugs. | 让你不要跟毒品沾边 |
| [12:24] | Or is it telling us to sell them? | 或是在指引我们拿去卖掉 |
| [12:30] | Max, we are not that desperate. | 麦克斯 我们没穷到那个地步 |
| [12:32] | We’re not making pot cupcakes. | 我们不用做大麻小蛋糕的 |
| [12:34] | I’d rather just see what the holidays bring. | 我宁愿期待节日会带来什么惊喜 |
| [12:36] | Well, this isn’t Bethlehem, it’s Brooklyn. | 这里不是伯利恒 这里是布鲁克林 |
| [12:38] | There’s no frankincense and myrrh, | 这里既没乳香 也无没药 |
| [12:40] | there’s only frankenberry and “Myrrh-ajuana.” | 这里只有”屌香”和”大麻药” |
| [12:51] | These turned out great! | 做出来结果很棒 |
| [12:52] | Good idea, universe. | 好主意 啊 老天爷 |
| [12:53] | I knew you smoked weed. | 我早就知道你也是麻友了 |
| [12:57] | Oh, my God. I can’t believe the smell. | 天啊 这味道太难闻了吧 |
| [12:59] | It’s like a skunk skunked a skunk. | 像臭鼬被另一只臭鼬喷了臭气似地 |
| [13:02] | I know. It’s like a port-a-potty | 我明白 就像狂欢会过后的 |
| [13:04] | on the last day of Coachella. | 公共厕所一样臭 |
| [13:07] | Oh, no, Chestnut’s smelling this. | 惨了 栗宝在偷吸 |
| [13:09] | I got my horse stoned. | 我家小马都成毒虫了 |
| [13:11] | Oh, relax. | 别这么紧张 |
| [13:12] | He’s just trying to fit in at school. | 他只是想打入其他同学的圈子嘛 |
| [13:16] | Do you think the neighbors can smell it? | 你觉得邻居会闻到这味吗 |
| [13:18] | Do you think they’re gonna call the cops? | 他们会不会打给警察举报我们啊 |
| [13:19] | Chill out! | 别这么紧张啦 |
| [13:20] | How can someone be this paranoid before they’re high? | 怎么有人还没能抽嗨 就这么多疑啊[副作用] |
| [13:24] | Here, taste this. | 来 尝尝看 |
| [13:25] | Max, I don’t do pot. | 麦克斯 我才不碰大麻 |
| [13:27] | I tried it a couple times in college. | 我大学的时候试过几次 |
| [13:28] | It totally changed my personality. | 会害我性格起大变化 |
| [13:31] | Then please have some pot right now. | 那求你快吃了这大麻小蛋糕吧 |
| [13:34] | Come on, it’s business. | 这是为了生意好吗 |
| [13:36] | I need you to taste it and tell me how it is, | 得有人尝尝 告诉我味道如何啊 |
| [13:37] | ’cause I can’t tell. At this point, | 我现在尝不出来 做完这些 |
| [13:39] | everything I put in my mouth tastes like pot. | 味道浓得我吃什么都会像大麻 |
| [13:44] | Hey, it’s pretty good. | 还不错呢 |
| [13:47] | In fact, it’s kind of delicious. | 其实这味道蛮好吃的呢 |
| [13:51] | We should charge 15 apiece for these. | 我们应该收人家15块钱一个 |
| [13:53] | That’s $540. That’s our rent. | 这样能赚540块 刚好交租 |
| [13:55] | A few more bites of that cupcake, | 你要是再多吃几口 |
| [13:57] | and that math would’ve taken two hours longer. | 你就得多花两小时才算得出刚才的东西了 |
| [14:01] | Oh, my God! It’s the cops! | 惨了 条子来了 |
| [14:03] | It’s probably that same SWAT team! | 估计就是上次那队特警 |
| [14:05] | I told you not to get involved with drugs! | 我都说了让你别跟毒品沾边 |
| [14:06] | I told you! | 我早告诉过你了 |
| [14:08] | Shut it, Caroline! Shut it! | 闭嘴 卡洛琳 闭嘴 |
| [14:12] | Relax, it’s Sophie. | 别紧张 是苏菲啦 |
| [14:14] | Hi, girls. I got my period. | 姑娘们 我月经来了 |
| [14:18] | Yeah, I got killer cramps. | 肚子疼得要死 |
| [14:20] | It’s like I got a tractor in my uterus. | 像我子宫里有台拖拉机在乱搅一样 |
| [14:23] | Sophie, we’re sorry you’re not feeling well. | 苏菲 你不舒服我们也很遗憾 |
| [14:25] | Yeah, you know, it’s times like these I think God’s a bitch. | 这种时候总让我觉得 老天爷真贱 |
| [14:31] | Wait a minute, wait a minute. | 慢着 慢着 |
| [14:34] | What’s that smell? | 那是什么味道 |
| [14:38] | Nothing. It’s nothing. | 没什么 没什么味道 |
| [14:39] | Maui wowie! | 是大麻啊 |
| [14:41] | Oh, you girls have been holding out on me! | 你们这俩小姑娘还对我藏招啦 |
| [14:46] | Oh! All right! Okay! | 好啦 爽啊 |
| [14:49] | This is what I’m talking about! | 老娘要的就是这个呀 |
| [14:52] | Oh, my God, good-bye, killer cramps! | 天啊 再见啦 疼死人的肚痛 |
| [14:55] | Hello, pot party! | 来吧 大麻派对 |
| [14:58] | I am picking up what you are laying down. | 老娘要来收成你们种下的”麻”了 |
| [15:05] | I think we found our new product spokesperson. | 看来我们找到了我们新的产品代言人了 |
| [15:12] | Here it is. | 就是这里 |
| [15:13] | I’ve been here once before with Keefer. | 我跟琦芙来过这里一次 |
| [15:14] | Judah’s a really chill guy, kind of a tech genius. | 朱达是个很放松的人 有点电脑宅 |
| [15:17] | Think we can probably sell them all here. | 我们应该能把货全卖掉 |
| [15:19] | Are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [15:20] | You haven’t spoken the entire way over here, | 整条路上你一句话都没说 |
| [15:22] | which is either a side effect of the pot, | 只可能是大麻的副作用 |
| [15:23] | or my early Christmas present. | 或我提早收到了圣诞礼物 |
| [15:25] | No, I’m fine. I feel exactly the same. | 我没事啊 感觉跟以前一样 |
| [15:27] | It hasn’t changed me at all. | 性格也完全没变化啊 |
| [15:30] | Careful with the box, | 小心盒子 |
| [15:31] | ’cause you’re smearing the cupcakes. | 小蛋糕会糊掉的 |
| [15:32] | Oh, what does it matter? We’re all gonna die. | 有啥关系 反正我们都会死 |
| [15:35] | Is this that other personality you were telling me about? | 这就是你跟我说的另一个人格吗 |
| [15:38] | No, it’s still me. Not that I matter. | 我还是我啊 不过我屁都不是 |
| [15:40] | None of us do. We’re all gonna die. | 所有人都比屁还不如 都是要死的 |
| [15:43] | Oh, crap. | 惨了 |
| [15:45] | Hey, Max! | 麦克斯 |
| [15:46] | I was so happy that you called. | 接到你电话 我好高兴啊 |
| [15:47] | And we’re so happy you’re addicted to marijuana. | 你染上大麻无法自拔 我们也好高兴 |
| [15:50] | You know it always leads to heroin– | 抽大麻的人后来都会吸海洛因 |
| [15:52] | Which leads to death. We get it. | 之后就会死掉 我们都懂 |
| [15:53] | You’re the one not-fun stoner. | 你是唯一吸完毒还很无趣的人 |
| [15:56] | Hey, guys, the chicks are here with the edibles. | 大伙们 卖零嘴的美女们来了 |
| [15:58] | – Edibles! – We’re having a little bit of a celebration. | -零嘴 -我们在办小庆祝会 |
| [16:01] | Okay, so cupcakes. | 我们卖大麻小蛋糕 |
| [16:02] | They’re 15 apiece, good quality. | 15块一个 品质优良 |
| [16:04] | And guys, we have to sell all of them, or tomorrow, | 大伙们 我们必须得全部卖掉 不然明天 |
| [16:07] | we’ll be eating out of a Dumpster. | 我们就得垃圾堆找东西吃了 |
| [16:09] | Does anyone have any uppers? | 有人有兴奋剂给她吃吗 |
| [16:12] | I have to sit down. I mean, life. Ugh! | 我得去坐下了 生命啊 |
| [16:15] | I’m so tired of pretending it’s all gonna be okay. | 我无力再假装一切都会好转了 |
| [16:17] | It’s not. | 才不会呢 |
| [16:19] | You should get that mole checked out. | 你那个痣最好去检查一下吧 |
| [16:21] | I don’t feel good about it. | 我有不祥的预感 |
| [16:24] | Dude, this chick is freaking me out. | 兄弟 这妞好吓人啊 |
| [16:26] | Just take it easy, Dave. We’ll just get some food in her. | 大卫 别紧张 我们买点吃的就好 |
| [16:28] | I got a buddy on the way with pizza. | 我有个兄弟正带着披萨来呢 |
| [16:30] | Guys, I’m sorry about her. | 兄弟们 我替她道歉 |
| [16:31] | It’s like bringing your mother to a strip club. | 带她来 就像是带老妈去脱衣舞厅一样扫兴 |
| [16:33] | Not for me. That’d be like taking my mom to work. | 我个人是无所谓 毕竟等于是载她去上班 |
| [16:37] | Strippers, how about their lives? | 脱衣舞娘 想想她们的人生 |
| [16:39] | They got no way out. | 一入欢场无尽期啊 |
| [16:40] | Can I talk to you, before you start performing | 在你为有怪痣的脱衣舞娘唱曲之前 |
| [16:42] | an acoustic ballad about strippers with moles? | 我能跟你借一步谈谈吗 |
| [16:48] | What’s the point, Max? | 有啥好谈的啊 麦克斯 |
| [16:50] | Go, if you’re gonna hit me, hit me. | 扁吧 你要是要扁我 就扁吧 |
| [16:53] | What is happening with you? | 你是怎么了啊 |
| [16:55] | I didn’t even know blonde people could be sad. | 原来白痴金发人群也会伤感的啊 |
| [16:58] | Max, I have to tell you something. | 麦克斯 我有话想对你说 |
| [17:00] | Come here. It’s a secret. Come here. | 靠近点 这是秘密 耳朵靠过来 |
| [17:02] | We’re not gonna make it. | 我们不会成功的 |
| [17:05] | But you’re the one who’s always telling me | 不都是你总在跟我说 |
| [17:07] | everything’s gonna be fine. | 一切都会好起来的吗 |
| [17:09] | Yeah, I was lying. | 对啊 都是我骗你的 |
| [17:14] | Where’s the weed, homeslizzy? | 大麻在哪啊 你个小淫宅 |
| [17:16] | Perfect timing, Andy. | 时间正好啊 安迪 |
| [17:18] | These are the girls who are selling edibles. | 这两姑娘是来卖零嘴的 |
| [17:21] | No, that’s my girlfriend, Caroline. | 不是啊 那是我女朋友 卡洛琳 |
| [17:23] | That sucks for you, dude. | 你真悲剧啊 兄弟 |
| [17:28] | What are you doing here? | 你在这干嘛 |
| [17:35] | She is really getting the hang of that. | 她真是驾轻就熟啊 |
| [17:38] | And around 4:00 A.M., | 大概清晨四点左右 |
| [17:40] | you finally called me from an IHOP in Greenpoint, | 你终于从松饼餐厅打来给我 |
| [17:42] | and I came and picked you up. | 然后我就去接你回来了 |
| [17:44] | You were covered in syrup, yelling, | 你当时满身沾了糖浆 大喊着 |
| [17:45] | “The Mayans were right! The Mayans were right!” | “玛雅人说得对 玛雅人说得对” |
| [17:51] | There’s my little stoner. | 我的小毒虫宝贝呀 |
| [17:52] | Andy, I don’t get stoned. | 安迪 我才不是毒虫 |
| [17:54] | – It was just last night. – I know. | -我才不是毒虫 昨晚而已 -我知道 |
| [17:56] | You told me all about it when you called at 4:00 A.M. | 你半夜四点打给我时 都跟我说了 |
| [17:59] | Sorry, and I’m mortified to ask, | 对不起啦 我还有件事不敢问 |
| [18:02] | but did you and I have phone sex? | 但我是不是跟你电话性爱了 |
| [18:04] | That was you and me. | 当时电话中的人是我 |
| [18:08] | Stoned Caroline’s got game. | 毒虫卡洛琳很有市场啊 |
| [18:11] | Hey, Max told me about the rent. | 麦克斯跟我说租金的事了 |
| [18:13] | Why didn’t you tell me you guys needed help? | 你为什么不跟我说你们需要帮忙呢 |
| [18:15] | I guess I just didn’t want to have to admit | 我只是不想向你 或是对自己 |
| [18:17] | to you or to myself that we’re in real trouble. | 承认我们的店碰上了大麻烦 |
| [18:19] | Plus, being a charity instead of a girlfriend is so not hot. | 而且 从女朋友变成欠债人太不性感了 |
| [18:22] | Uh, there is nothing you can do that is not hot. | 你无论做什么 都很难不性感 |
| [18:25] | Oh, then whatever you do, do not look at the video | 那无论如何 你千万别看那 |
| [18:27] | Max has of me, rolling around in the IHOP parking lot, | 麦克斯拍我在松饼餐厅停车场打滚的影片 |
| [18:30] | covered in syrup. | 而且我还满身糖浆 |
| [18:33] | I want you to have this. | 我想你拿去 |
| [18:34] | Cash it, don’t cash it. Do whatever you want, | 兑现 不兑现 都随你高兴 |
| [18:37] | but just know that my success doesn’t mean anything | 我只想你明白 我的成功如果不能与你同享 |
| [18:39] | if I can’t share it with you. | 那便一文不值 |
| [18:42] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [18:43] | Andy, that is so amazing, and I really appreciate it, | 安迪 你这么做我真的很感激 |
| [18:46] | but I can’t take it. | 但这钱我不能拿 |
| [18:49] | Well, it’s a win-win. | 好吧 这还算双赢 |
| [18:50] | At least it got your hand in my pants. | 至少拐到你把手放我裤子里了 |
| [18:53] | And remember, if you ever need it, it’s there. | 记住 你一有需要 它就在这里 |
| [18:56] | I’m talking about my penis. | 我是说我的”大雕” |
| [19:05] | Andy offered to pay our rent, but I said no. | 安迪想给我们租金钱 我拒绝了 |
| [19:07] | That is the whitest thing I’ve ever heard. | 这真是我听过最蠢白人的事迹了 |
| [19:11] | It was really sweet of him, | 他这么做真的很有心 |
| [19:13] | but I didn’t want to take money from a man I’m sleeping with. | 但我真的不想从我”睡的”男人那里拿钱 |
| [19:16] | Wait, are you telling me there are women | 什么 你是说居然有女人 |
| [19:17] | who don’t take money from men they’re sleeping with? | 不跟她”睡”的男人拿钱吗 |
| [19:22] | What’s gonna happen, Max? | 接下来怎么办呢 麦克斯 |
| [19:23] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道了 |
| [19:25] | But we do have Christmas decorations, | 但我们有圣诞节装饰啊 |
| [19:28] | so let’s put them up. | 一起来摆上装饰吧 |
| [19:30] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [19:31] | You’re the one pushing Christmas? | 居然是你在催我弄圣诞节 |
| [19:32] | Who are you, me? | 你是谁啊 我吗 |
| [19:34] | No, I still have my dignity. | 才不是你 我的尊严还在呢 |
| [19:38] | Speaking of Christmas, here are the two and a half wise men. | 说到圣诞节 东方博士两个半来啦 |
| [19:43] | – What’s up? – Caroline called me last night. | -怎么啦 -卡洛琳昨晚打给我 |
| [19:46] | Told me that you two couldn’t pay your rent, | 说你们俩付不起租金 |
| [19:48] | that you were losing the shop. | 你们会失去这小店 |
| [19:49] | That girl can talk. | 那妞话可多了哦 |
| [19:54] | She called me too, and said you didn’t have your rent, | 她也打给我了 说你们没钱交租 |
| [19:57] | and also that, for sure, the rising waters of the ocean | 她也说了 上升的海水会淹没全世界 |
| [19:59] | will swallow us and kill us all. | 也会把所有人类统统淹死 |
| [20:04] | So we put together what we had, and… here. | 我们就把身上的钱凑了凑 给 |
| [20:08] | Consider it an early Christmas gift from all three of us… | 就当是我们三个提前送的圣诞礼物吧 |
| [20:10] | Even though I gave 350, Earl gave 100, | 虽然是我出了350 厄尔出了100 |
| [20:13] | and he gave 50. | 他只出了50块 |
| [20:17] | Thank you, but we can’t take it. | 谢谢你们 但我们不能收啊 |
| [20:19] | Yes, you can. We’re family. | 当然能收 我们是家人嘛 |
| [20:23] | 500 whole dollars? | 整整500块啊 |
| [20:25] | Thank you, guys. | 谢谢你们了 |
| [20:30] | And we have something special for you. | 我们也有特别的礼物送你们 |
| [20:38] | What makes it special? | 特别之处在哪啊 |
| [20:40] | The love she puts into ’em, Max. | 她放里面的满满爱意啊 |
| [20:48] | You can smell the love all around her. | 她满身都闻得到爱意呢 |
| [20:55] | You know, Max, I think we’re gonna make it. | 麦克斯 我觉得我们会成功的 |
| [20:58] | I like not-stoned Caroline. | 我喜欢非毒虫版卡洛琳 |
| [21:00] | We’re gonna keep you off the drugs. | 我们得让你离毒品远点才行 |
| [21:02] | You mean because I’m more positive? | 因为我这时候比较乐观正面吗 |
| [21:04] | No, ’cause we may have to sell your urine for next month’s rent, | 是因为下个月的租进 可能得靠卖你的尿 |
| [21:07] | and I’m gonna need that pee clean. | 所以你绝对不能碰毒啊 |