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脆莓公园(Brickleberry)第2季第8集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 脆莓公园(Brickleberry)第2季第8集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:05] License and regis… tration. 驾驶本和登记… 证
[00:08] Here you go, Rangers. 给你 林警
[00:16] Excuse us, Ma’am. 不好意思 女士
[00:18] – Oh, shit. Did you see how ug… – Beautiful she is? Yeah. – 诶我去 你看她多难… – 漂亮是吧? 是啊
[00:21] Beautiful? Steve, she looks just like you, but with smaller titties. 漂亮? Steve 她长得和你一个德行 就是咪咪小了点
[00:24] Keep it in your pants, Denzel. I saw her first. 裤裆管好了 Denzel 我先看到她的
[00:28] Oh, did I hit something? 我撞到什么了么?
[00:29] Only my heart with your arrow of love. 只有我的心 用你的爱情之箭
[00:32] And also all these animals. 还有这些动物
[00:35] Help me. 救命
[00:38] Sorry, I was just reading a book. I get so bored when I drive. 不好意思 我刚看书来着 我一开车就觉得很无聊
[00:41] 维戈·莫特森千层面烹制1001法 (丹麦裔美籍男电影演员)
[00:41] Viggo Mortensen and lasagna? My two favorite things! 维戈·莫特森和千层面? 我最爱的两样
[00:45] Hi. I’m Steve Williams. 我是Steve Williams
[00:47] Ranger of the month. I’m sure you’ve heard of me. 月度最佳林警 我肯定你听说过我
[00:49] I’m ranger of the month. Steve Williams. 我是月度最佳林警 Steve Williams
[00:51] I’m Stephanie Bridges. I teach at Hazelhurst Elementary. 我叫Stephanie Bridges 在Hazelhurst小学任教
[00:54] I would love to have a big, powerful ranger come and speak to my class sometime. 我很愿意一位威武有刚的林警有空去我的课堂上做报告
[00:58] A Power Ranger? I want to see that. 威武林警? 我也想见识一下
[01:00] A Power Ranger is speaking to my class? 威武林警要去我的课堂做报告?
[01:03] I didn’t know about that. Awesome. 真想不到 太好了
[01:08] If these mother[Bleep] have a baby, I’m hitting that bitch with a brick. 这俩贱人要是敢有孩子 我特么一砖头拍死那个孽畜
[01:24] Thanks for helping me with computer dating, Connie. 谢谢你过来帮我网上约会 Connie
[01:26] – You’re such a good friend. – I’d do anything for you, Ethel. – 真是我好闺蜜 – 我愿为你做任何事的 Ethel
[01:29] – I know. – Anything. – 我知道 – 任何事
[01:31] Uh, yeah. Got it. 是啦 我懂的
[01:33] – Anything. – Got it! – 任何事 – 懂了
[01:34] No. No, seriously. 不 不 真心的
[01:37] – Anyth… – I know! God, I hope this works. – 任何… – 我知道 靠 但愿这次能成
[01:40] Why do I have such bad luck with men? 为毛我的桃花运非得这么烂?
[01:41] Maybe you’ve just been dating the wrong people. 也许是你一直就没找对人
[01:43] What? Don’t be silly. 啥? 别傻了
[01:46] And that’s why I worship Satan. 所以我崇拜撒旦
[01:49] Kidding. 开玩笑的
[01:50] I’d love to make a hammock out of your skin. 好想用你这块人皮做张吊床出来
[01:53] ♪ I like vagina. ♪ ♪ 我喜欢蕊蕊 ♪
[01:59] Is this kosher? 这个犹太人能吃不?
[02:00] Ugh, you’re right. 让你说着了
[02:01] My sister has the perfect marriage 我姐嫁了个超好的人家
[02:03] and I’m on the Internet playing date rape roulette. 我却只能窝这儿在网上玩一夜情
[02:06] Oh, you mean Craigslist. 你说Craigslist啊?
[02:08] Hey, wait. This guy seems perfect. 嘿 等下 这家伙看起来不错
[02:10] Strong, passionate, wants a family. 强壮 有激情 想要组建家庭
[02:13] Willing to do anything. 愿为对方做任何事
[02:15] Anything. Anything. 任何事 任何事
[02:17] Wait a minute. It’s you. 等一下 这人是你
[02:19] How’d that get on there? 我怎么跑那儿去了?
[02:21] Isn’t that hilarious? 要不要这么搞笑?
[02:22] I mean, I thought it was someone perfect for me, and it was just you. 我还以为找着合适的人了 弄半天原来是你
[02:26] Yeah. That’s hilarious. 是啊 真搞笑
[02:29] I’ll be right back. 我马上回来
[02:32] Connie, I really need you. Connie 快来帮我
[02:35] Oh, boy! Oh, boy! 太好了 太好了
[02:37] Look at this guy. He’s handsome, he owns a car. 快看这人 超帅 还有车呢
[02:41] Oh, and look. Only two roommates… his mother and father. 看呐 只有两个室友… 他爸和他妈
[02:44] And he wants to take me to a fancy restaurant. 他还想邀请我去豪华餐厅呢
[02:53] You know, that reminds me. 话说吧 这倒让我想起
[02:54] I’m hitting the age where I’d like to have kids. 我到了该打算要小孩的年龄了
[02:56] Yeah, I like hitting kids too. 是啊 我也很想打小孩
[02:58] Who do I gotta [Bleep] up the ass to get some corn bread? 谁特么欠揍 快给老子上点玉米面包
[03:04] So the broad gives birth as I’m banging her. 我一边上那婊子 她就一边生了
[03:08] That counts as a threesome, right? 应该算得上3P了 对吧?
[03:10] – You’re late on your child support payments, Ken. – What? – 又拖你孩子的赡养费了 Ken – 什么?
[03:13] I don’t even know you. 我都不认识你好吧
[03:15] Tell Alopecia daddy said Happy Birthday. 告那小秃子 爸爸祝他生日快乐
[03:19] You know what? I’m out of here! 你知道吗? 我得走了
[03:21] Baby, baby. I’m sorry. I just made that up to impress you. 宝贝 宝贝儿 不好意思 我只不过是想让你印象深刻
[03:24] Can we start over? I’ll treat you the way you deserve. 我们能重新开始吗? 我会把你料理得妥妥的
[03:28] Hurry up. I’m harder than Chinese math. 快 我现在比中国数学题还要硬
[03:31] – Sit on my penis. – What’s that, Ken? – 过来坐莲 – 你说啥 Ken?
[03:33] Shut up, ma! I’m about to get some! 闭嘴 妈 正在性头上呢
[03:37] Oh, baby. I’m gonna make love to you all ni… 宝贝儿 我要和你做一整晚…
[03:44] Okay, I’m done. 好吧 过劲了
[03:46] – Can I at least get a ride home? – Jeez, fine. – 最次把我送回家好么? – 天 好吧
[03:48] Mom! 妈
[03:50] Give her a ride home! 送她回家
[03:54] I am a… 我是一位…
[03:56] Pa… pa… park… 公… 园…
[03:59] What the hell are you two idiots up to? 你俩白痴干特么啥呢?
[04:01] We’ve had three snake attacks, a camper vandalized a moose 公园发生了三起蛇伤人事件 一头麋鹿被露营者给上了
[04:04] and I found a human head in the fire pit! 我还在个火坑里发现了颗人头
[04:06] Did you say “human”? Aw, I was hoping it was Connie’s. 你说是”人头”? 好希望是Connie的
[04:10] I’m gonna kill you one day, Malloy. 总有天我会了结你 Malloy
[04:11] – What? – Uh, nothing. – 啥玩意儿? – 没啥
[04:13] Guys, could you keep it down? I’m trying to practice my speech for Stephanie’s school. 各位 能小点声吗? 人家在为Stephanie的校园报告做准备呢
[04:17] Good morning, boys and girls. 早上好 孩子们
[04:18] – My name is… – Hanukkah Jizz Tonsil? – 我叫… – 超级大白痴?
[04:21] Yes. My name is Hanukkah Jizz Tonsil. 对的 我叫超级大白痴
[04:23] Wait. No it’s not. 等等 才不是呢
[04:25] Wait. Is it? Shoot. 等下 难道是? 你妹
[04:28] He’s awful at literally everything. 他真心样样事都好操蛋
[04:31] I am a park ra… 我是公园林…
[04:37] – I think the kids are gonna love it. – Sorry I’m late. – 相信孩子们会喜欢的 – 抱歉 迟到了
[04:40] – Ugh, we hear that once a month. – So how did it go last night? – 每月总有那么一天 – 话说昨晚上怎么样?
[04:43] Typical. We had soup, and he spooged in his pants. 一般 我们喝了汤 他洒了一裤裆
[04:47] Hello? 喂?
[04:48] Lucy! It’s my bitch sister. Lucy 我那贱姐
[04:51] It’s been years. How are you? 好多年没联系了 你还好吗?
[04:54] I’ve… I’ve been meaning to call you. 我一直… 一直想给你打电话来着
[04:55] Just traveling with the family on Al Pacino’s private jet. 就跟家人搭阿尔·帕西诺的私人飞机去旅行啦
[04:59] Our son, Randy, is going to be in Al’s next movie. 我儿子Randy要参演他下一部电影了
[05:01] – Oh, wow. That’s… – And then, of course, my husband, Hubert. – 天呐 那真… – 当然 还有我老公Hubert
[05:04] He just sold his business, so now we’re in the market for a new island. 他刚把家里产业卖掉 现在我们有钱投资一座新岛屿了
[05:07] We were going to buy Haiti, but it’s too much of a fixer-upper. 本来要买海地 但那地方简直就是扶不起来的阿斗
[05:09] Speaking of poor black people, how are you? 说到那些黑人穷逼 你现在过得怎样?
[05:12] Oh, I’m married with a great family too! 我也嫁了个好人家了
[05:14] You have a family? Did you bite a hole in the condom or have a five-guy cream pie? 你成家了? 是在避孕套上开了洞 还是被五个男人给轮了?
[05:18] Just kidding. I can’t wait to meet them. 开玩笑啦 我都等不及见他们了
[05:19] We’re turning this plane around. We’re coming to see you. 我们这就改航 马上去你那儿看你啦
[05:22] Oh, no, no. Don’t! Uh, uh… don’t… don’t do that. 别介别介别介 不要 不… 不用这样
[05:25] Oh, my God! 我的老天
[05:27] – Lucy, listen. I… – Nah, it’s Ken. – Lucy 听着 我… – 不 我Ken
[05:28] Sorry about last night. 昨晚上真不好意思
[05:30] Why don’t you come over now and I’ll make it up to you? 不如你现在过来让我补偿你吧?
[05:32] I’ll bend you over and… 我会扑倒你 然后…
[05:37] Okay, done. No need to come over. 好了 没事了 不用过来了
[05:47] And that’s what it means to be a Park Ranger. 这就是身为林警的职责所在
[05:53] That was great, Steve. 讲的太好了 Steve
[05:55] I want to thank you. 我要好好感谢你
[06:00] What are you waiting for, Power Ranger? 还在犹豫什么 威武林警?
[06:03] Go ahead, Steve. Stick it in me. 快上嘛 Steve 求插入
[06:07] Oh, my God. 我的老天
[06:09] I was having the best dream! 我刚做了一场超赞美梦
[06:11] I am so screwed. 我特么玩完了
[06:13] My sister and her husband are on their way to Brickleberry right now. 我老姐跟她老公正往脆莓这边赶呢
[06:16] I didn’t know you had a sister. 我不知道你还有个姐
[06:17] That’s because I’ve been trying to wish her out of my life. 那是因为我一直都想让她滚出我的生活
[06:20] Hey, Ethel. For 100 bucks, I can make that wish come true. 嘿 Ethel 只要100刀 我就让你美梦成真
[06:24] It’s been a while since I fed my dark passenger. 我已经好久没有满足过我的黑暗面了
[06:28] So anyway, my sister makes me crazy. 不管怎么说 我姐让我抓狂死了
[06:32] I mean, our whole lives, she’s always had it better than me. 尽我们一生 她什么事儿都比我待遇好
[06:35] Congratulations. You’re the parents of a perfect, beautiful baby girl. 恭喜了 你们生下了一个完美 漂亮的女婴
[06:39] And this thing. Uh, should I toss it? 还有这玩意 要我把它扔了么?
[06:45] What could we do? Santa loves her more. 看我们干啥? 圣诞老人偏爱她
[06:47] You look beautiful, Lucy. 你看起来真美 Lucy
[06:50] ♪ I like vagina. ♪ ♪ 我喜欢蕊蕊 ♪
[06:54] Oh, she’s on your way. What am I gonna do? 她就在路上了 我要怎么办?
[06:57] I know. One of you could pose as my husband. 有了 你们可以来个人假扮我老公啊
[06:59] – Woody? – No! – Woody? – 滚
[07:01] – Steve? – Sorry. Already in love. – Steve? – 抱歉 心有所属
[07:05] Where am I gonna find a husband? 上哪儿能找着个老公啊?
[07:07] Racist bitch. Treating me like I’m a Mexican or something. 种族歧视贱人 拿哥当墨西哥佬一类的对待
[07:13] Where am I gonna find a husband? 上哪儿能找着个老公啊?
[07:15] And I need a kid. 还得找个孩子
[07:19] Hey! Psst. Little boy. 嘿 你 小孩
[07:21] Do you want some candy? 谁想吃糖糖吗?
[07:25] – Gotcha! – Help, daddy! – 抓到你了 – 救命 爸爸
[07:28] Get away from my kid! What’s the matter with you? 离我孩子远点 你吃错药了吧?
[07:30] I want your son. Bad! 我非常需要你儿子
[07:32] I’ve got money! 不差钱
[07:34] No! Wait! You can join in and play my husband! 不 等等 你也可以一起来假扮我老公
[07:37] Please. 求求你了
[07:39] That’s good to see you’re dating again. 还有继续约会的念头 真难得啊
[07:41] Welcome to Brickleberry Park. 欢迎来到脆莓公园
[07:43] Thank you. 谢谢
[07:44] It’s so nice they hire the mentally challenged. 这公园还雇智障真是良心啊
[07:48] Not really. I hate them. 假的啦 我讨厌智障
[07:49] Oh, my God, they’re here. 天呐 他们都来了
[07:53] What? 咋的?
[07:55] No! No! 不要 不要
[07:56] No, what are you doing? 你想干嘛?
[07:57] Get away from me! 离我远点
[07:59] Help! 救命
[08:04] Ethel. Oh, my God. It’s so nice to see you. Ethel 天呐 能见到你实在太好了
[08:08] This must be my nephew. 这就是我小侄儿了吧
[08:10] You are dead. 你死定了
[08:15] Little cranky pants didn’t have his nap. 小淘气包儿今天没睡午觉呀
[08:18] I am gonna [Bleep] claw your eyes out! 我特么非得把你眼珠子挖出来
[08:20] Tantrums are normal for gifted kids. 有天赋的小孩脾气都挺大
[08:23] I’m not a kid. I’m a wild animal. 谁尼玛小孩 我可是野兽
[08:25] And he has such colorful imagination. Well, and ADHD. 想象力还超级丰富 还有多动症
[08:29] Go play, honey. 去玩吧 亲爱的
[08:33] Uh, okay. 好吧
[08:34] Now where’s that husband you were telling me so much about? 还有你一直和我们津津乐道的老公呢?
[08:37] Uh, yeah. He’s… 对 他在…
[08:39] I’m right here, honey. 我回来了 亲爱的
[08:43] Hi, I’m Conner. 我是Conner
[08:45] Ethel’s loving husband. Ethel亲爱的老公
[08:54] Well, I see Malloy’s calmed down quite a bit. 那啥 我看Malloy现在安静多了
[08:57] That’s our Malloy. Playful one minute, a perfectly well-behaved child the next. 我们家Malloy就这样 前一刻动若脱兔 下一刻就静若处子
[09:03] I can hear my blood. 我听见我血流声了
[09:07] He’s hypoglycemic. 他有低血糖
[09:08] So, Conner, what do you do for a living? 那Conner 你是做什么工作的?
[09:10] – Brain surgeon. – Gynecologist for supermodels. – 脑部手术 – 针对超模的妇科医生
[09:12] Well, which is it? 到底哪个啊?
[09:13] You do brain surgery on gynecologists or gynecology on supermodel brain surgeons? 是给妇科医生做脑部手术 还是给超模兼脑科医生当妇科大夫?
[09:19] I build robots. 我是做机器人的
[09:22] So how about those packers this week? 这周的球赛你看了没?
[09:24] Packers? Football season doesn’t start for five months. 球赛? 最近的赛季要等五个月才开赛呢
[09:27] I know. I was talking about the, uh… 我知道 我是想说… 那个…
[09:29] Fudge-packers. 那些同性恋
[09:31] Stupid homos want to get married. Am I right? 傻缺同性恋还想结婚 闹呢吧?
[09:35] Conner Conner!
[09:36] Isn’t it time to get Malloy to school? Like, right now? 是不是该送Malloy上学去了? 就这会儿?
[09:39] It’s a school for the gifted. He’s a prodigy. 我们上的是天才学校 他是神童
[09:49] Oh, I’d love to see his school. Mind if I tag along? 我蛮想看看他学校的 介意我们一道吗?
[09:52] I don’t see why the hell not. 不去特么没理由啊
[09:56] Okay, here we are. Have a good day, baby. 好了 到了 好好学习天天向上 宝贝
[10:03] Hey, look who it is. 嘿 瞧瞧这是谁
[10:05] It’s the new kid. 是个新来的
[10:08] Hey, new kid. Ugly town called. 嘿 新来的 “丑人镇”来电话
[10:10] You just got voted Mayor. 说你当选镇长啦
[10:14] Think about how ugly that means he is. 这得多丑才能当镇长啊
[10:16] You’re also Mayor of diarrhea town. “拉稀镇”的镇长也是你哦
[10:20] Aw, snap! 犀利啊
[10:21] That’s the worst town I ever heard of. 那种地方真是龊到底了
[10:24] My boyfriend is so funny. 我男朋友真幽默
[10:25] This is called a girlfriend. Something you’ll never have. 这叫”女朋友” 你一辈子都不可能有的东西
[10:30] Either he called him gay or he’s got a fear of commitment. 老大说他要不是基佬 就是有结婚恐惧症
[10:34] Listen, buddy. Here’s what’s gonna happen. 听好了 小哥儿 接下来事情这么发展
[10:36] First, I’m gonna take your friends. 首先 我会抢掉你的朋友
[10:38] Then I’m gonna take your girlfriend. 然后我会抢掉你女人
[10:39] And when you have nothing left, I’m going to kill you. 到你一无所有的时候 我就宰了你
[10:43] You know what? Think I’m gonna like school. 真没想到 我挺喜欢上学
[10:48] As a Park Ranger, it’s pin-port-tint… 作为一名林警 直-直-捣
[10:50] Important to know how to [Bleep] out a fire. 知道如何”操火”是很重要的
[10:54] Put out a fire. 灭火
[10:55] Damn it! I’m gonna blow it with Stephanie. 我靠 跟Stephanie肯定没戏了
[10:57] Aw, come on. Steve. Think about what I said. 别这样 Steve 好好想想我说的
[10:59] I don’t know, Denzel. Imagining the audience naked really doesn’t work for me. 我不太确定诶 Denzel 脑补观众全裸对我没啥帮助
[11:03] Just trying to help. 咱就想帮帮你嘛
[11:04] All right, time for plan “B”. 好吧 咱们换成B计划
[11:06] I’m gonna pump the kids up for you. Trust me, it’s all about showmanship. 我先帮你热热场 相信我 绝对屌炸天
[11:09] Thanks, man. 谢啦 兄弟
[11:11] Woody? You’re here to help me with my speech too? Woody 你也是来帮我准备演讲的?
[11:13] What speech? 啥演讲?
[11:15] Either I drank way too much last night or… 如果不是昨晚我喝麻了
[11:17] Or I’m a Werewolf! 就是我乃狼人
[11:27] So bottom line, I’m gonna go along with Ethel’s charade 底线就是 我陪Ethel陪场作戏
[11:30] long enough to destroy this bully’s life. 直到我解决掉那个小混蛋为止
[11:32] Hey, Malloy. I’ve been there. 嘿 Malloy 我懂的
[11:34] I used to get bullied too. 以前我也老被欺负
[11:36] My old man would show up at school, take the lunch money my mom gave me 我老子总会来学校 抢走老妈给我的午饭钱
[11:39] beat the piss out of me with an extension cord. 拿电源线抽得我屁滚尿流
[11:42] Was it humiliating? Sure. 很丢人吧? 肯定的
[11:44] But I showed him. 但我也给了他好看
[11:45] I started to enjoy the beatings. 我开始享受挨抽的感觉
[11:48] Sexually. 性奋地享受
[11:51] Okay. I’m gonna get off your lap now. 够啦 我不敢坐你大腿上了
[11:53] Great talk, son. Hey 这样交交心最舒服了
[11:55] by the way, did you get a haircut? 说起来 你是不是换发型了?
[12:01] All right, kids. Settle down. 好啦 孩子们 安静啦
[12:02] We’re about to bring out a remarkably handsome Park Ranger to… 马上登场是一位特别英俊潇洒的公园林警…
[12:06] Zip it, Beav-Steve. I’ll take it from here. 闭嘴吧 Steve女 接下来就交给我啦
[12:09] Yo, drop that beat! 药 跟着节拍
[12:10] Yeah, mother[Bleep]! 动起来 小杂碎们
[12:13] It’s time to get krunk up in this bitch! 都给我在这破屋子里骚-起来
[12:18] ♪ Ass and titties. Ass and titties. ♪ ♪ 丰乳肥臀 丰乳肥臀 ♪
[12:22] ♪ Shake that ass. Drop that ass. ♪ ♪ 大屁股扭啊 大屁股晃 ♪
[12:25] ♪ Slide, dip. Slide, dip. ♪ ♪ 抽 插 抽 插 ♪
[12:28] ♪ Touch the ground. Doo doo brown!♪ ♪ 落地得分 便便屎黄 ♪
[12:31] And here’s Steve. 有请Steve
[12:36] Okay. 好的
[12:38] Uh, I’m ran… ranger Steve. 我是林… 林警Steve
[12:40] And I-I’m gonna tell you all about being a Park Ranger. 我… 我会详细给大家介绍一下林警的职责
[12:43] You look more like a pork ranger. 你那怂样更像猪肉佬好吧
[12:47] Snap! He said pork ranger! 犀利 他说猪肉佬
[12:49] That’s a play on words, yo! 真是好文采啊 哟
[12:51] Uh, okay. 好 好吧
[12:53] As a… as a ranger, f-f-fire safety is important. 作-作为林警 用-用火安全非常重要
[12:59] Forest fires are extremely dangerous. 森林火灾极其危险
[13:01] Is that what [Bleep] your face up? 你丫逼脸就被火毁容了吧?
[13:05] New kid dropped an HBO word. 新来的爆粗口哟
[13:07] Picture everyone naked. Picture everyone naked. 脑补大家都裸着 脑补大家都裸着
[13:10] Picturing kids naked? 脑补孩子都裸着?
[13:12] Don’t you do enough of that at home, you pudgy pedophile? 你在家还没脑补够嘛 你个肥猪恋童癖?
[13:15] Oh, no! No, no, no, no! 我去 赞 赞 赞
[13:17] He’s saying pork ranger’s a pee-pee toucher. 他说人家肥 还喜欢摸鸡鸡
[13:25] He is the King! 他就咱大王啊
[13:26] New King! 新大王
[13:28] Got your friends. That’s one. 朋友都是我的啦 第一步
[13:31] Let’s get out of here, baby. 咱们出去玩儿吧 宝贝
[13:32] – Can’t. Play rehearsal. – Play, huh? – 不行 话剧要排练 – 话剧哈?
[13:35] Initiate phase two. 启动第二阶段
[13:36] Play me out, Denzel. 奏乐送我 Denzel
[13:37] ♪ Ass and titties. Ass and titties. ♪ ♪ 丰乳肥臀 丰乳肥臀 ♪
[13:39] ♪ Hump dem hos, hump dem hos. ♪ ♪ 操翻婊子 操翻婊子 ♪
[13:41] ♪ Ass and titties. Ass and titties. ♪ ♪ 丰乳肥臀 丰乳肥臀 ♪
[13:45] Well, Malloy. How was school today? Malloy 今天上学好玩吗?
[13:47] Not bad. I’m auditioning for a part in a play. 还不赖 我参加话剧的试镜了
[13:50] I don’t like plays. 我不喜欢话剧
[13:51] I’m just trying to get in this girl’s guts in my class. 只是想插班上的一个妹子而已
[13:55] So, Conner… 说来 Conner
[13:58] I’m sure Ethel told you about our amazing wedding in the Amazon Rain Forest. Ethel肯定跟你讲过我们在亚马逊雨林办的绝赞婚礼吧
[14:02] That’s nothing. We got married on the moon. 太小儿科了 咱俩是在月亮上结的婚
[14:05] Uh, Moon Palace. Cancun. 她说的是坎昆的月宫
[14:07] It was very pricey. 那地儿贵得很哟
[14:09] I thought you said you got married in Hawaii. 我怎么记着你说在夏威夷结的来着?
[14:12] Uh, we had two ceremonies. 我们办了两场的嘛
[14:14] They didn’t want blacks at the good wedding. 好的那场没要黑鬼参加
[14:16] Right. No! 对 不对
[14:17] Mommy’s got a temper. 妈咪发火了
[14:19] – She beats me. – At checkers. – 她会打我 – 跳棋对打赛嘛
[14:21] – Ethel? – Who is this? – Ethel? – 这位谁?
[14:23] – Mommy’s boyfriend. – Pardon? – 妈咪的男朋友 – 什么?
[14:25] You’re married? That’s hot. 你结婚了? 真够劲
[14:31] I’ll call you later. 咱再电联吧
[14:32] You better explain yourself, Ethel. 你最好解释清楚 Ethel
[14:34] Oh, there’s a good… 是这样的…
[14:35] Oh, you see, what happened… 那个 刚才啊…
[14:38] You know what? I can’t lie anymore. 够了 这谎我编不下去了
[14:40] You’re right. Let’s not lie anymore. 你说得对 咱们别再隐瞒了
[14:43] This just isn’t any ordinary night. 今天不是随随便便的日子
[14:45] Tonight’s our anniversary. 今晚是我们的结婚周年纪念
[14:47] And I’d like to give something to the woman I love. 我想送我爱的女人一件礼物
[14:50] Oh, my God. 我的天呐
[14:51] It’s beautiful. 真漂亮
[14:52] Well, it’s just like grandma’s necklace. I thought that was one of a kind. 那个真像奶奶的项链 我还以为她带进坟墓了呢
[14:56] How did you know I always wanted one like this? 你怎么知道我一直就想要这种的?
[14:58] I stole your diary. I mean, I listen! 我偷了你日记 不对 是倾听了你
[15:01] Oh, and I found your missing diary. 我还找着你丢了的日记本了
[15:03] He’s so thoughtful, Ethel. 人家真够贴心 Ethel
[15:05] You’ve got a good man, there. 你可嫁了个好男人呀
[15:07] Yeah, I do. 是啊 的确
[15:09] Aw. Mommy and daddy are gonna rub holes tonight. 矮油 爸爸妈妈今晚要啪啪啪了
[15:16] Well, I wish we could stay, but you know. 真希望我们能留下 但是你知道
[15:17] Al Pacino’s in a holding pattern. 阿尔·帕西诺还等着咱呢
[15:19] Lucy, come on. Let’s go. Lucy 好啦 我们走吧
[15:21] We gotta let these two lovebirds rub holes. 可别打扰这对鸳鸯鸟甜蜜蜜了
[15:24] Oh, well. Back to our normal lives. 好啊 终于回到正常生活了
[15:26] I hate our normal lives. 我恨正常生活
[15:28] Wait! You can’t leave. 等等 你们不能走
[15:30] You’ll miss Malloy’s big part in the play tomorrow 那岂不错过Malloy明天的精彩大戏了
[15:32] He had to fill in last minute. 他是替补演员临时上的
[15:34] He said something happened to the lead actor. 听他说男主那边出了点状况
[15:40] Help! Help! 救命 救命
[15:42] You can just spend the night with us. 今晚就留下跟我们住吧
[15:44] Great idea, Conner. 真是好主意 Conner
[15:45] Oh, yes. I’d love to see my nephew in a play. 那也好 真等不及看我小侄儿表演呢
[15:48] – I just adore the theater. – Well, let’s do it. – 我超喜欢戏剧 – 就这么定了
[15:50] Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! 太好了 太好了 太好了
[15:51] That means I get to sleep in the bed with Ethel. 那我就能跟Ethel睡一张床了
[15:54] Like we always do. 跟我们往常一样
[15:56] Because we’re married. 因为咱们是老公老婆
[15:58] And we’ve explored every wet, dark crevice of each other’s bodies. 还会在对方身体的咸湿幽谷中互探究竟
[16:05] – Good night, you three. Sleep well. – Good night. – 晚安 你们三口 睡个好觉 – 晚安
[16:08] – Uppity bitch. – Sorry I pulled this on you, Ethel. – 傲娇婊 – 抱歉把你逼这份儿上 Ethel
[16:11] I just don’t want this to end. 我只是不希望这一切结束
[16:13] You know what, Connie? 知道吗 Connie?
[16:14] It’s okay. You’ve helped me out so much. 没关系 你帮了我这么多
[16:18] Actually, this is kind of… nice. 其实呢 这样还… 挺好的
[16:21] I know. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. 我知道 我从没这么开心过
[16:24] You know, in a sad way, me too. 说来悲催 我也这么觉得
[16:26] There’s only one thing that could make this better. 唯有一件事能让一切变得更美妙了
[16:34] Connie Connie!
[16:35] Jesus! What the hell is that? 老天 这什么玩意儿啊?
[16:37] But I thought we were a real family. 但不是说我们是一家人嘛
[16:39] Connie, wake up! Connie 醒醒吧
[16:41] This is not real. 这不是真的
[16:43] You’re a lesbian, and our child is a shaved bear. 你是拉拉 咱家孩子就一刮了毛儿的熊
[16:46] We are nothing like a family. 我们和一家半点不沾边
[16:47] Pre-Jack Ken would have a better shot at me than you ever will. 那个早泄Ken随便给我来一发比你一辈子来的都强
[16:50] Is everything okay in here? 没事儿吧 你们俩?
[16:52] No. 有事
[16:53] Ethel, I want a divorce! Ethel 我要离婚
[16:55] – What? – And I’m taking that necklace back. – 啥? – 而且我要把项链拿回来
[16:58] – What are you gonna do? Return it? – Yes, I am. – 你要怎么地 退回去吗? – 没错 就是
[17:01] I’m gonna dig up your grandmother again and put it back on her [Bleep] neck! 我会再把你奶奶挖出来 把这破项链捆回她脖子上
[17:05] Fine. 随你
[17:06] Wait, what? 等下 什么?
[17:18] I can’t believe that you made us come to this, Woody. 真不敢相信你非逼我们到这儿来 Woody
[17:20] I can’t show my face around Stephanie. 我不能在Stephanie面前晃悠了
[17:22] Zip it and sit down. It’s my Cubby Wubb’s first play. 闭嘴 落腚 这可是我家小熊仔的处女秀
[17:25] And you’re gonna love it! 你一定会喜欢上的
[17:26] Steve, your speech was awesome. Steve 你的演讲好棒呢
[17:29] The kids loved it. They never laughed so hard. 孩子们特喜欢 他们从没笑得这么开怀
[17:32] You serious? But I peed my pants. 真的吗? 可是我都尿裤子了
[17:34] That was the best part. 就是那个才最赞呢
[17:36] I can’t tell you how many kids want to be Rangers now. 我都不知道现在有多少孩子想当林警了
[17:39] Really? How many? 真的吗? 有多少?
[17:40] No, I can’t tell you. I didn’t ask any of them. 说了 不知道呀 我又一个儿都没问
[17:43] – What should I do, Denzel? – I know what you should do, buddy. – 下一步该咋办 Denzel? – 我知道咋办 兄弟
[17:47] Go [Bleep] yourself. 去把自己给上了
[17:48] Thanks for the kind words, bro. 小话儿真贴心儿 兄弟
[17:50] Con… ner. I’m surprised to… Con… ner 没想到…
[17:53] Save it, Ethel. I’m just here to support our son. 省省吧 Ethel 我只是过来捧儿子场的
[17:56] There’s no shame in divorce. 离婚没什么不好的嘛
[17:58] As long as you don’t mind burning in hell with the queers. 只要你们不介意跟同性恋一起下地狱就行
[18:00] Everything is fine. Right, honey? 我们没事啦 对吧 亲爱的?
[18:05] His tongue is tired. 他就是懒得抬嘴
[18:06] Tons of oral. 口活累着了
[18:11] What? No previews? 咋着? 不插预告片?
[18:13] Wherefore art thou, Romeo? 伊人将何去 罗密欧?
[18:16] How did he get in the play? 怎么让他出演了?
[18:18] What happened to Jeremy? Jeremy怎么了?
[18:25] Well, at least the water stopped. 至少水停了
[18:27] No! 不要
[18:30] Denzel, make it happen. Denzel 上音乐
[18:40] This should put a little hot sauce on your taco. 让咱来给你的玉米卷撒点辣酱
[18:47] You can look, but you can’t touch. 只许看不许摸哟
[18:50] You like that? 喜欢吗?
[18:51] I bet you like this sweet ass. 打赌你喜欢这朵翘臀
[19:02] Got your girl. That’s two. 把了你妹子 第二步
[19:04] Magic Malloy stole your lady! 万神Malloy把了你妹子
[19:08] Get off her! 放开她
[19:21] This play’s awesome. 这剧屌炸天了
[19:24] Everyone, please calm down. 大家请冷静
[19:26] Malloy, break it up! Malloy 够了
[19:33] Here comes three. 现在来办第三件
[19:38] Help! 救命
[19:39] Encore! Encore! 再来个 再来个
[19:46] Turn it off! Turn it off! 非礼勿视 滚出滚出
[19:50] Sorry my boobs popped out, Ethel. 抱歉我咪咪蹦出来了 Ethel
[19:52] Ethel, I can’t believe you lied to me. Ethel 不敢相信你会骗我
[19:54] This is the sorriest excuse for a family I’ve ever seen. 这是我在家人里见过最可悲的托辞
[19:57] You’d be lucky to have a family as great as this. 你要是能有这么个家 算你走大运
[20:00] – Do you really mean that, Ethel? – Probably not, Connie. – 这话真心的 Ethel? – 非常不可能 Connie
[20:03] That is sweet… 真温馨
[20:05] how pathetic you are. 要多悲催有多悲催
[20:06] Talk to you never. 再也不见
[20:07] You’re gonna let her get away with that? 你就打算这么放她走?
[20:09] You know, Malloy 没办法 Malloy
[20:10] sometimes it’s better just to be the bigger person. 有时候 做老大就是会吃香
[20:25] Malloy Malloy!
脆莓公园

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