| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Malloy, I am highly disappointed. | Malloy 我对你失望透顶了 |
| [00:06] | You don’t know a thing about the value of money. | 你对钱的价值真是狗屁不通 |
| [00:08] | I stand by my purchase. | 人家买的有理 |
| [00:10] | It’s not your purchase if it’s on my credit card! | 刷我信用卡就不算是你买的好吧?! |
| [00:14] | How much was this thing? | 这玩意到底多少钱? |
| [00:15] | I got it at a good price, and I can do this. | 我砍了个好价 而且还能整这个 |
| [00:21] | No! | 不 |
| [00:22] | Why? | 为毛? |
| [00:25] | You’re gonna bankrupt me, Malloy. | 你是要败光我老底啊 Malloy |
| [00:27] | Return it, right now. Let’s go! | 退货去 立刻马上 走起 |
| [00:30] | Fine. You’ll never know it was here. | 行 你就当这玩意压根没来过 |
| [00:49] | Rangers, I finally figured out why this Park’s been losing money. | 林警们 我终于知道为什么这个公园一直在亏损了 |
| [00:53] | Because you’ve been stealing it. | 因为钱都让你贪了 |
| [00:54] | – I didn’t steal nothing. – No one’s blaming you, Denzel. | – 我才不会贪 – 没人在说你呀 Denzel |
| [00:58] | Sorry. Usually, this is when the bear says something racist. | 抱歉 一般这死熊说种族歧视的话肯定是在骂我 |
| [01:00] | Can’t, I’m playing “hate words with friends”. | 没空 我在玩”跟朋友拼损词儿”呢 |
| [01:02] | We are in the dumper because this Park isn’t fun anymore. | 我们之所以亏损 是因为公园已经没半点乐子了 |
| [01:06] | There’s no more good, clean, family wholesomeness. | 没有一丁点有益纯良的家庭消遣 |
| [01:09] | So I bring to you… | 所以我引进了… |
| [01:11] | Firecracker Jim’s family fun time carnival! | 火爆Jim”全家欢乐进行时”嘉年华 |
| [01:24] | Takes you back to your childhood, doesn’t it? | 勾起你们小时候的回忆了 有木有? |
| [01:27] | Oh, yeah, nothing says “family fun” like catching Hep C from a carnie. | 是呢 “家庭欢乐”啥的 还不就是在游乐园染上肝炎 |
| [01:31] | That’s your childhood, all right. | 作为你的童年 不稀奇 |
| [01:32] | Well, I think it’s an awesome idea! | 我觉得这是个赞爆的点子 |
| [01:35] | Look at all these great games! | 瞧瞧那些个游戏多带劲 |
| [01:39] | Poke the rabbit in the eyeball! | 戳瞎兔子眼珠子咯 |
| [01:41] | Donkey kicks, $5. | 飞驴踢 五刀一位 |
| [01:44] | Step right up to Bobby Possumcods’s petting zoo! | 走过路过别错过Bobby Possumcods爱抚园 |
| [01:48] | Heavy petting zoo! | 桃色爱抚园噜 |
| [01:53] | All right, everybody, we got a lot of work to do. | 好了 大家伙 咱今儿可得忙活起来 |
| [01:55] | Crowd control, trash duty… | 人流控制 清理垃圾… |
| [01:57] | What the…? | 卧槽…? |
| [01:59] | Look out, excuse me, move aside. | 借过 打扰了 借过 |
| [02:01] | Ranger Steve Williams coming through. | 林警Steve Williams大驾光临 |
| [02:03] | Oh, thank God, a Park Ranger. | 谢天谢地 来了个林警 |
| [02:05] | Someone just got a skull fracture. | 某人等着头骨粉碎碎吧 |
| [02:07] | – Who? – You! | – 谁? – 你 |
| [02:08] | Now get your ass to the end of the line. | 赶紧老老实实滚队尾去 |
| [02:10] | But I… Man. | 可我… 靠 |
| [02:12] | Why does the handicapped kid get to cut? | 凭毛这残废小子就能插队? |
| [02:14] | Life can be so unfair. | 人生太不公道了 |
| [02:17] | Right this way for the greatest side show on Earth! | 进来瞧哟 全地球最好看的余兴表演 |
| [02:23] | Be amazed by the one-headed, one-tailed snake! | 准备好为这条单头单尾蛇震颤吧 |
| [02:28] | Be astounded! | 颤抖吧 |
| [02:29] | By the mysterious hornless unicorn! | 为这奇葩的无角独角兽 |
| [02:35] | This is lame. Let’s go. | 太没劲了 咱走 |
| [02:36] | Wait, who are they? | 等等 他们是谁? |
| [02:38] | Don’t look at them. | 不要看他们 |
| [02:40] | They’re just a bunch of circus freaks. | 只是一小撮马戏团怪物 |
| [02:42] | But behold… | 但且看… |
| [02:44] | A bird that has the ability… | 一只会游泳的… |
| [02:47] | To swim! | 大鸟 |
| [02:50] | No, really, who are they? | 别打岔 他们是什么人? |
| [02:52] | Well, if you insist on seeing the lame stuff | 好吧 既然你坚持看这些无聊玩意 |
| [02:55] | here’s dog boy, octopus lady, giraffe girl, and… | 他们是狗娃 章鱼女 长颈鹿女 还有… |
| [02:59] | Whoa, let me guess. | 慢着 让我猜猜 |
| [03:00] | That’s Dick nose. | 他叫鸡鸡鼻 |
| [03:01] | Uh, no, my name is Jerry. | 错 我叫Jerry |
| [03:05] | And my newest addition, the carpet-munching Vaginasaurus! | 还有我们的新成员 嚼地毯的阴道兽 |
| [03:10] | Hey! Connie is not a freak! | Connie才不是怪物呢 |
| [03:13] | Lucas, let me take your picture with the big, ugly freak. | Lucas 去跟这又大又丑的怪物拍张合影 |
| [03:17] | That’s not right! | 你这样不对 |
| [03:19] | Don’t worry. | 别操心 |
| [03:20] | I treat each and every one of them like my own children. | 我对待他们每个人都像对待亲生娃一样呢 |
| [03:27] | Did I mention I [Bleeping] hate my children? | 有说我特么恨透我家娃了么 |
| [03:30] | They need help. | 他们需要帮助 |
| [03:34] | Come on, follow me! | 快来 跟我来 |
| [03:37] | Oh, my God, what did she do? | 我的天呐 她在干什么? |
| [03:40] | They can’t survive in a non-cage environment. | 他们在笼子以外的环境活不下去 |
| [03:43] | They’ll go crazy on the outside! | 一到外边他们就都犯疯了 |
| [03:45] | We’ve got to get them back! | 我们得把他们抓回来 |
| [03:46] | Uh, not me. I don’t associate with anything that ugly. | 别算我 我可不跟那种丑货扯半毛钱关系 |
| [03:49] | Yeah, unless it buys you two drinks. | 是 但请你喝两杯酒就另说了 |
| [03:51] | Then you’ll give it a toothy B.J. in a public bathroom. | 到时候你宁可在公厕老老实实给人家口活 |
| [03:54] | Did I say that? | 我有说吗? |
| [03:59] | Woody, I need 20 bucks. I want to play whack-a-mole. | Woody 给咱二十块钱 我要去玩打地鼠 |
| [04:01] | – No! – Please? They use real moles. | – 不给 – 求你 他们用的是真地鼠 |
| [04:08] | No, Malloy. Enough. | 不行 Malloy 闹够了 |
| [04:11] | What do I look like I’m made of, money? | 你以为我是啥造的 银子嘛?! |
| [04:13] | No, it looks like you’re made out of ham. Now give me some money! | 错 我看你更像是火腿做的 赶紧拿钱出来 |
| [04:15] | Forget it. You need to stop blowing my money and make some for yourself. | 省省劲吧 你趁早停止造我的银子 要造自己挣去 |
| [04:19] | It’s time for you to get a job. | 你也该去找份工作了 |
| [04:21] | – A job? – Yes! I’m through being your personal ATM. | – 工作? – 正是 我受够当你的私人提款机了 |
| [04:25] | What does ass-to-mouth have to do with this? | 这事儿跟”口嚼菊花”有毛关系? |
| [04:31] | Finally. I’ve been in this line for three hours. | 可算等到了 我都排仨小时队了 |
| [04:34] | Sorry, folks. Ride’s closed for repair. | 抱歉 大伙 飞车维修不接客了 |
| [04:36] | Repair? | 维修? |
| [04:37] | By “repair,” I mean I snorted too much angel dust | 我说的”维修”是指我吸了太多天使粉 |
| [04:39] | and you’ll be lucky if I don’t eat your face off! | 没把你脸蛋啃下来算是你丫走运 |
| [04:41] | Ah, man. | 靠啊 |
| [04:45] | Oh, my God. | 我滴神呐 |
| [04:47] | The Paralyzer! And there’s no line! | 瘫痪飞车 还没人排队 |
| [04:50] | Hey, Firecracker Jim. | 嘿 火爆Jim |
| [04:52] | – Is this ride dangerous? – What the hell do you think? | – 这飞车危险么? – 你丫以为呢? |
| [04:54] | It’s called “The Paralyzer,” not “The Blowjobber!” | 这玩意叫”瘫痪飞车” 不叫”口活逍遥屋” |
| [04:58] | That line’s over there! | 玩那个那边排队 |
| [05:02] | – See ya. – Watch out, now. | – 回见 – 小心喔 |
| [05:04] | You never know if you gonna have to give one or get one. | 口活还是被口活 里面可是随机的 |
| [05:06] | Uh… I think I’ll do this one. | 那我还是玩这个好了 |
| [05:32] | Hey, you alive? | 丫还活着么? |
| [05:35] | No refunds. | 概不退款啊 |
| [05:40] | Come on, guys, in here. You’ll be safe in my cabin. | 快 大家 快进去 呆我小屋里你们就安全了 |
| [05:43] | You can stay as long as you want. | 你们想呆多久都行 |
| [05:44] | Connie, who the hell are these freaks? | Connie 这些怪胎都谁啊? |
| [05:46] | They’re not freaks. They’re my new best friends. | 他们不是怪胎 他们是我新交的好朋友 |
| [05:49] | Connie, you can’t be friends with these weirdos. | Connie 你可别跟这些怪物交朋友 |
| [05:51] | They a bunch of… hey, what’s up, Jerry? | 他们都是些… 你好哇 Jerry |
| [05:53] | – You guys know each other? – Yeah, we went to Middle School together. | – 你们认识? – 对 咱俩是中学校友 |
| [05:56] | Hey, Jerry, you remember when you sneezed and got Wanda pregnant? | 嘿 Jerry 还记不记得你打了个喷嚏 Wanda就怀孕了? |
| [05:59] | I’m still paying for that cold. | 喷嚏一时爽 终身喜当爹 |
| [06:04] | I come bearing sad news. | 我要告诉大家一个噩耗 |
| [06:07] | As you know, Steve took a very bad fall yesterday, and, uh | 大家都知道了 昨天Steve摔得不轻 然后 |
| [06:11] | well, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but because of his injuries, we… | 我很难过地召知各位 Steve同志伤势过重 我们… |
| [06:15] | Well, let’s just say we lost a lot of money | 我们损失了一大笔钱 |
| [06:18] | because we had to shut the carnival down early. | 因为狂欢节得提前结束 |
| [06:20] | Grieve in your own way! | 大家节哀顺变 |
| [06:22] | All right! Day off! | 好哎 放假了 |
| [06:24] | Wait, how is Steve? | 等下 那Steve现在如何? |
| [06:25] | Steve who? Oh! | 哪个Steve? |
| [06:27] | What am I, his goddamn babysitter? | 老子管得着么 老子又不是保姆 |
| [06:31] | Good morning, Rangers. | 早上好啊 林警们 |
| [06:35] | Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Whoops. | 不好意思 对不起 歹势 |
| [06:40] | Aah. Help me, Jesus. | 救救我啊 上帝 |
| [06:41] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [06:45] | Look, everybody. | 大家快看啊 |
| [06:46] | The attention whore is here. | 求关注的贱逼来了 |
| [06:48] | – Woody! – Oh, walk it off, Steve. | – Woody – 没事儿走两步 Steve |
| [06:50] | Everything will turn out fine, just like it did for Christopher Reeve. | 你不会有啥事的 Christopher Reeve不也没事吗 |
| [06:54] | – But he’s dead. – Exactly. | – 人家都死了 – 死了就没事了啊 |
| [06:56] | Thanks for coming to see me in the hospital. | 谢谢你们大家去医院看我 |
| [06:59] | Oh, wait. None of you did. | 等一下 你们谁都没去 |
| [07:01] | Look on the bright side, Steve. | 凡事要往好处想 Steve |
| [07:03] | My best friend is handicapped! Think of all the attention I’ll get. | 我的好基友残废了 想想我可得多引人关注啊 |
| [07:06] | Oh, I feel terrible. Are you gonna be okay, Steve? | 我好同情你 你不会有事吧 Steve? |
| [07:09] | All questions for my client can be directed to me. | 关于我委托人的问题 都直接问我就好 |
| [07:13] | Brickleberry Park is currently inaccessible to my handicapped client. | 脆莓公园目前不适宜我的残障委托人居住 |
| [07:17] | If it is not brought up to code, you face fines and possible litigation. | 如果不立即整改 你们将被罚款或吃官司 |
| [07:23] | What? You told me to get a job. | 怎么? 你不是让我找工作嘛 |
| [07:25] | Attorney at law? You ain’t no lawyer. | 律师? 你才不是律师呢 |
| [07:29] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [07:31] | Now I’m a lawyer. | 现在我真是了 |
| [07:33] | Thank you, University of Phoenix. | 谢啦 凤凰城大学 |
| [07:57] | So, Mr. Johnson | 那么 Johnson先生 |
| [07:58] | here’s how you’re going to make the Park handicap-accessible for my client. | 为了让这里适宜我的残障委托人居住 你得做出以下整改 |
| [08:03] | People of Earth, you are in no danger. | 地球人 你们很安全 |
| [08:06] | Please remain in your homes. | 请呆在家中 |
| [08:09] | Give me that. You can still talk, you moron. | 别玩了 你是可以讲话的 你个白痴 |
| [08:12] | Give it back. | 还给我 |
| [08:13] | It makes me sound smart, like Tony Hawk, that crippled scientist. | 这声整得我像那个残废科学家Tony Hawk一样有范儿 |
| [08:16] | Now, let’s get down to business. | 现在 咱们办点正事 |
| [08:17] | Lower those windows a 1/2 inch. We need a ramp to that ramp. | 窗子下移半寸 坡道下面再接一个坡道 |
| [08:21] | Therapeutic hot tub right here. | 这里装一个治疗型浴盆 |
| [08:23] | And some therapeutic hookers here, here… | 安置治疗型妓女到这里 这里 |
| [08:25] | And here. | 还有这儿 |
| [08:28] | What? Can’t a brother get some handi-scraps? | 干嘛? 兄弟就不能蹭点残疾福利啊 |
| [08:31] | Oh, I know what you’re doing, Malloy. | 我知道你小样捣什么鬼了 Malloy |
| [08:33] | You’re just getting back at me for cutting you off. | 断了你粮饷 你来报复我了是吧 |
| [08:36] | I know that Steve is faking this whole thing. | 我知道Steve这一套全都是装的 |
| [08:39] | Whatever it is, I like it. | 不管真假 我都喜欢 |
| [08:41] | You got the life, for real, Steve. | 你可享福了 真的 Steve |
| [08:42] | Just lounging all day, everyone taking care of you. | 每天只用坐着不动 大家都来照顾你 |
| [08:45] | V.I.P. treatment wherever you go. | 去到哪儿 都是土豪级待遇 |
| [08:47] | They even gave me this never-ending bag of pudding. | 他们还给我这袋吃之不尽的布丁呢 |
| [08:51] | Steve, that’s shit. | Steve 那是屎 |
| [08:52] | Well, that’s a little harsh. It’s not snack pack, but it’s free. | 说得真难听 虽不是什么好零食 但不要钱好吧 |
| [08:55] | And a couple of hours after I eat it, it fills back up again. | 更妙的是每次我吃完 几个小时后它又满了 |
| [09:01] | Oh, God. | 我擦啊 |
| [09:02] | Here’s the total cost for completing all the necessary upgrades to the Park. | 这是公园完成必要整改的总价 |
| [09:06] | Why do I have to call a phone number to find out how much I owe? | 干嘛还要老子打电话问价格啊? |
| [09:10] | Uh, that is not a phone number. That is the amount due. | 那个不是电话号码 那是价格数字 |
| [09:12] | This is a bunch of hog shit. | 这都特么是瞎扯淡 |
| [09:14] | I know you can walk, Steve, and I’m gonna prove it! | 老子知道你能走的 Steve 老子会证明的 |
| [09:18] | Damn, what’s that smell? | 靠 啥怪味啊? |
| [09:21] | Yeah, what is that? | 是啊 什么东西? |
| [09:22] | It smells like a skunk [Bleeped] a burning tire. | 闻着好像操过烧焦轮胎的臭鼬 |
| [09:25] | Or your feet cooking inside two George Foreman grills! | 或者是拳王烤炉里你那双臭脚的味道 |
| [09:31] | I don’t feel anything, but it smells delicious. | 我倒没啥感觉 闻起来很好吃的样子 |
| [09:33] | Good poker face, Steve, but I’m not buying it. | 这扑克脸装得真好 Steve 但我就不信 |
| [09:37] | Oh, that’s just sad. | 哎 真是悲哀 |
| [09:38] | I can’t believe George Foreman put his name on them cheap-ass grills. | 拳王弗尔曼居然把名号打在这种便宜货上 |
| [09:42] | Look at your feet, cooked all uneven and shit. | 看看你这脚 熟得一点都不均匀 |
| [09:45] | Keep your chin up, Steve. I know just what will cheer you up. | 别摆副臭脸嘛 Steve 我知道有件事绝对逗你开心 |
| [09:49] | Dancing! | 跳舞喽 |
| [09:50] | But I can’t really dance. Or move. At all. | 我跳不动舞 甚至都 完全不能动 |
| [09:53] | Steve, ever since you got paralyzed, people let you do whatever you want. | Steve 自打你全身不遂以来 大家都让你随心所欲 |
| [09:57] | I think that that should apply to me too. | 我觉得我也可以沾点光 |
| [09:59] | What do you mean? | 你这是什么意思? |
| [10:00] | Hold on to your dead, lifeless ass for a second, and let me demonstrate. | 你这毫无知觉的烂屁股坐好了 容我展示给你看 |
| [10:04] | Where do you think you’re going? | 你这是要往哪儿闯? |
| [10:05] | I think I’m going inside this mother[Bleep] club, no charge, bitch. | 老子特么要闯你夜店 还不花一分钱 贱人 |
| [10:10] | Uh, this is my best friend, Steve. | 这是我好基友Steve |
| [10:12] | He just got paralyzed. | 他刚得了全身不遂 |
| [10:13] | Oh, I’m so sorry. Get outta the way! | 我非常抱歉 你们死一边去 |
| [10:15] | This man’s friend’s handicapped! | 这小伙的朋友都残废了 |
| [10:17] | Look at him! He’s all [Bleeped] up! | 看看他 都废成这操蛋样了 |
| [10:27] | What the [Bleep] do you think you’re doing? | 你特么这是闹哪样? |
| [10:28] | Grieving. I got a crippled friend. | 闹心呢 我朋友残废了 |
| [10:30] | Oh, my bad. | 真对不住 |
| [10:32] | Here, uh, that’s crap. Take something from the top shelf. | 这样 这瓶是垃圾 拿架顶的那些好酒吧 |
| [10:35] | Oh, I’ll take the whole top shelf. | 老子顶架全收 |
| [10:40] | My friend crippled! I can do whatever I want! | 我朋友残废啦 我可以为所欲为啦 |
| [10:42] | I’m the King of the World! | 我就是世界之王啊 |
| [10:44] | Denzel, you’re wasted. Who’s gonna drive home? | Denzel 你醉成这样 谁开车回家? |
| [10:47] | You let me worry about that. | 这种事不用你担心 |
| [10:51] | What a night! V.I.P.! | 夜色真好 土豪最高 |
| [10:56] | Steve, you getting paralyzed is the best thing that ever happened to me. | Steve 你的不遂 就是我的幸福 |
| [11:00] | Denzel, this doesn’t seem safe. | Denzel 这样可不安全 |
| [11:02] | Relax. | 安啦 |
| [11:03] | You’re doing fine. | 你开得挺好 |
| [11:09] | What the hell? | 搞毛啊? |
| [11:11] | I will kill you! I swear to God! | 老子杀了你 老子对天发誓 |
| [11:15] | Oh, I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. | 我没看见 真不好意思 |
| [11:17] | We’ll let it slide this time, but don’t let that shit happen again! | 这次就算了 下次可别特么咋咋呼呼的 |
| [11:20] | Have you guys seen my wife anywhere? | 二位看见我媳妇儿没? |
| [11:23] | Oh, God, it hurts! | 老天 好痛啊 |
| [11:25] | Honey, shut up! It’s a handicapped driver! | 亲爱的 别咋呼 残疾人开车嘛 |
| [11:28] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 对不起啊 |
| [11:31] | I feel so embarrassed. | 我真是无地自容 |
| [11:38] | You’re past due for payment on the handicap-accessible nude beach. | 无障碍裸体海滩的缴费已经逾期了 |
| [11:42] | Oh, I’m sorry. Let me just grab my checkbook. | 哎呀 不好意思 我这就拿支票本 |
| [11:47] | Nope, nothing. | 不行 没感觉 |
| [11:49] | Okay, now do you believe he’s paralyzed? | 好啦 你现在总相信他残废了吧 |
| [11:50] | No, I don’t, and I’m not gonna give you any more money for your little handi-scam. | 错 我不信 我再也不会在你这骗钱小把戏上花一分钱了 |
| [11:55] | Then we will see you in court. | 那么我们只好法庭见了 |
| [11:57] | Not if I see you first, asshole. | 老子先去法庭告你丫的 杂种 |
| [12:00] | Oh, wait, you’re on my side. | 等下 你是帮我说话的 |
| [12:01] | Sorry. I’m dying of blood loss. | 不好意思 我就是失血快死了 |
| [12:07] | I’ve always dreamed of having friends over. | 我一直都梦想着请朋友来做客 |
| [12:15] | Good call. Tea’s boring. | 好情调 上茶太没品了 |
| [12:17] | Who wants to play Scattergories? | 谁想玩”同类相忌”啊? |
| [12:23] | Uh, so you guys want me to heat that up? | 这东西要给你们热一下不? |
| [12:26] | So I hope you guys saved room for dessert. | 希望你们大家还留了肚子吃甜点哦 |
| [12:29] | Snickerdoodles? | 来点涂鸦小饼干? |
| [12:33] | All right, everybody. Into the truck! | 好啦 每个人都给我上车去 |
| [12:36] | Hey, wait a minute. You’re not taking them back to that horrible carnival. | 嘿 给我住手 你可别想把他们带回那个烂嘉年华 |
| [12:40] | Carnival? No, this is worse. | 嘉年华? 不 比那要命 |
| [12:43] | They’ve been summoned for jury duty. | 他们被召去当陪审团呢 |
| [12:49] | If it’s a black guy, we’re frying him. | 如果审的是个黑鬼 我们就判他电刑 |
| [12:55] | Best party ever. | 这趴体太棒了 |
| [13:03] | Denzel, stop! | Denzel 停手 |
| [13:04] | Ouch! Stop! I don’t want to be here. | 疼啊 停手 我不想在这儿呆了 |
| [13:07] | Ah, chill out, broke back-enroe. This is awesome. | 别急眼啊 你个断背男 这里好极了 |
| [13:09] | I can’t believe they let me in this all-white country club | 我居然能来到仅限白人的乡村俱乐部 |
| [13:11] | just because of your busted-ass spine. | 你那条脊椎真是断得超值 |
| [13:13] | Excuse me. | 打扰一下 |
| [13:15] | We have this court reserved. | 这场子是我们预订的 |
| [13:17] | Well, well. Look at you. | 哎呦哎呦 瞧瞧你 |
| [13:19] | Titties like two wind socks on a calm day. | 这奶子 耷得像没风时候的风向标 |
| [13:22] | You want to get freaky behind that dumpster? | 垃圾箱后边要不要来一发? |
| [13:25] | – Well, I never. – Excuse me, that’s my wife. | – 真是的 我.. – 放尊重点 她可是我老伴 |
| [13:28] | Oh, yeah? Well, that’s my best friend. | 是吗? 那还是我哥们呢 |
| [13:33] | Oh, yeah, you dirty. | 哦也 你个骚货 |
| [13:35] | That’s nice, what you’re doing there. | 真不错 小伙子挺卖力的 |
| [13:47] | I want the truth, Steve, because I know you’re faking it. | 说实话吧 Steve 我知道你是装的 |
| [13:51] | No, I’m not. I swear to God. | 没有装 我对天发誓 |
| [13:52] | You know, when I was in the jungle, I did a few things I wasn’t very proud of. | 知道吗 我在丛林里的时候 做过些非常不体面的事情 |
| [13:57] | Technically, Steven, I’m a war criminal. | 严格说来 Steven 我可是个战犯 |
| [14:01] | Gotta roll. | 我闪啦 |
| [14:02] | No, Woody, what are you doing? | 不要啊 Woody 你要干嘛? |
| [14:04] | You know, this was banned by the Geneva Convention. | 知道不 这招可是”日内瓦公约”严令禁止的 |
| [14:21] | You’re a tough son of a bitch, Steve. | 你可真是条硬汉子 Steve |
| [14:23] | I would’ve had Abu Nazir crying by now. | 要是Abu Nazir 早就哭鼻子了 |
| [14:25] | Time for my last option. | 只能使最后一招了 |
| [14:28] | Oh, my God, Woody, stop. What are you doing? | 我滴天啊 停下来 Woody 你要干什么? |
| [14:31] | Screw this court case. You’re not gonna steal any more of my money. | 去他娘的诉讼 你俩别想再讹我的银子了 |
| [14:34] | You get up or you go down! | 不起来 就给我下去 |
| [14:37] | Three… | 三… |
| [14:39] | Two… | 二… |
| [14:40] | Two and a half… | 二点五… |
| [14:43] | One! Walk! | 一 走你 |
| [14:47] | Okay, Steve! | 好啦 Steve |
| [14:49] | Now I believe you! | 现在我信你啦 |
| [15:00] | I’m still alive. | 我还活着 |
| [15:01] | I can’t believe I’m still Ali… wait. | 我居然还活着 等下 |
| [15:04] | Well, I’ll be damned. | 真是见神仙了 |
| [15:07] | $2 off a Subway Footlong! | 赛百味的两元打折券 |
| [15:11] | It’s expired. | 过期了 |
| [15:12] | Well, at least I can walk again. | 至少我又能走道儿了 |
| [15:20] | God damn it, how can Steve run late when he can’t even walk? | 你妹啊 路都不会走了 Steve还敢迟到?! |
| [15:24] | Good morning, counselor. | 早上好呀 律师先生 |
| [15:26] | So how much money are we gonna make off me being hurt on that roller coaster, eh? | 话说 告云霄飞车把我整残废 咱能捞到多少银子? |
| [15:31] | Nothing now. You can walk? What the hell? | 全打水漂了 你丫会走了? 搞你妹啊 |
| [15:33] | Oh, yeah. And I can do this. | 是啦 此外 还能来这个 |
| [15:44] | You had one thing to do. You had one thing to do. | 就让你干好一件事 就让你干好一件事啊 |
| [15:46] | Stay paralyzed. How’d you [Bleep] that up? | 保持瘫痪 你丫怎么就能搞砸的? |
| [15:49] | I know, it sucks. I’ve got to wipe my own ass again. | 我知道 操蛋透了 又得自己擦屁股了 |
| [15:52] | The trial’s in ten minutes. I need you to be paralyzed. | 庭审十分钟后就开始了 你给我瘫痪起来 |
| [15:56] | Hold on. | 等我 |
| [15:59] | We’ll never get away with it. He looks nothing like me. | 这招绝对不行 这货跟我半毛都不像 |
| [16:05] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [16:06] | Steve, sit down and don’t move. | Steve 坐稳了 别给我动 |
| [16:08] | You have to stay perfectly still. Do not blow this. | 你可必须纹丝儿不动 不许演砸了 |
| [16:11] | Whoa, this guy’s got a lemonade bag. | 我去 这货还配柠檬汁包呢 |
| [16:14] | Score! | 赚咯 |
| [16:26] | The litigants have been sworn in. | 委托人宣过誓了 |
| [16:28] | Mr. Malloy, you and your client are suing Woody Johnson for moneys | Malloy先生 你和你的委托人向Woody Johnson提出索赔 |
| [16:32] | that he owes to complete the handicap-accessible renovations to Brickleberry Park. | 原因是其未能完善脆莓公园的残疾人无障碍设施 |
| [16:37] | And for pain and suffering caused by, and I quote… | 及造成的痛苦和精神损失 我看怎么说的 |
| [16:41] | “Looking at his big, fat, [Bleeped] up face”. | “看他那张肥流油的操蛋脸” |
| [16:44] | Objection, your honor. | 反对 法官大人 |
| [16:45] | Let the record show that my face is neither fat nor [Bleeped] up. | 请录像证明我的脸既不肥也不操蛋 |
| [16:48] | Objection overruled. It is both, Sir. | 反对无效 两点都说对了 先生 |
| [16:52] | Now, Dr. Kuzniak, as a medical professional | 请问 Kuzniak医生 作为专业医师 |
| [16:55] | would you say that this amusement ride could actually paralyze someone? | 您认为这次云霄飞车之旅能否造成人员瘫痪? |
| [16:58] | Oh, not at all. | 根本不会啦 |
| [17:00] | Actually, I find The Blowjobber to be quite stimulating. | 其实吧 我觉得口活逍遥屋还蛮刺激呢 |
| [17:02] | I went on it nine times. | 我都玩过九次了 |
| [17:04] | Uh, we’re not here to talk about you getting blow jobs. | 咱今儿来不是探讨你接到口活的 |
| [17:07] | Wait a minute. You can get blow jobs? | 等一下 是说你能接口活? |
| [17:11] | Denzel, as a black man, you’re familiar with illegal activities. | Denzel 作为黑人 你对非法活动可谓了如指掌 |
| [17:15] | Would you say that… | 请问你会… |
| [17:16] | Your honor, I can’t continue with this. | 法官大人 这让我情何以堪 |
| [17:19] | Mr. Jackson, what is going on? | Jackson先生 你是闹哪样? |
| [17:21] | Oh, you know, fun. | 你懂的 乐子呗 |
| [17:23] | Sir, do I have to hold you in contempt? | 先生 需要我判你藐视法庭么? |
| [17:26] | It’s all right. His friend’s a cripple. | 没事啦 人家朋友可是瘸子 |
| [17:29] | I’m sorry, Sir. Proceed. | 真抱歉 先生 请继续 |
| [17:34] | All right, this is where I make Woody crack. | 好了 下一招我要把Woody整出翔 |
| [17:37] | So, Mr. Johnson, isn’t it true that you brought the carnival to Brickleberry | 请问 Johnson先生 你是不是将嘉年华引入脆莓公园 |
| [17:41] | to purposefully paralyze my client? | 好存心致瘫我的委托人? |
| [17:45] | No! | 不是 |
| [17:46] | So you’re telling us you did not bring the carnival to Brickleberry? | 所以你是说 你压根就没把嘉年华引入脆莓公园? |
| [17:50] | – Yes. – So now you are lying to the court. | – 对的 – 这可是明晃晃欺骗法庭啊 |
| [17:53] | Uh, no… uh, yes… what? | 没有… 没错… 啥? |
| [17:55] | No, I would never do that. I’m not that kind of guy. | 不 我绝对不会那样做 咱不是那种人 |
| [17:58] | So you’re telling this court that you’re a perfectly “decent man”. | 所以你是在告诉法庭 你是个十足的”正人君子” |
| [18:02] | And remember, you’re under oath. | 别忘了哦 你可起过誓了 |
| [18:08] | I mean, look, I’ve done bad things in my life, okay? | 那啥 听着 我这辈子确实干过缺德事 好吧? |
| [18:13] | Oh, dear God, who am I kidding? | 上帝啊 我忽悠谁啊? |
| [18:15] | I’m a piece of shit! | 我特么就一坨屎 |
| [18:17] | When I was six, I French-kissed a burro during a Mexican independence day parade. | 六岁那会儿 我就在墨西哥独立日游行上舌吻了一头驴子 |
| [18:23] | I illegally downloaded Mamma Mia! | 我还非法下载过《妈妈咪呀》 |
| [18:26] | And in 1989, I showed my testes to a drunk driver at an IHOP! | 1989年我还在IHOP餐厅给一醉酒司机秀蛋蛋来着 |
| [18:32] | He offered me half a rooty tooty fresh ‘n fruity! | 都怪他请我吃双蛋双培根妙妙堡 |
| [18:36] | I’m only human! | 我只是凡人啊 |
| [18:39] | Mr. Malloy, what is the point of this testimony? | Malloy先生 这段口供是要辩解什么? |
| [18:42] | He had the nerve to suggest that I get a job | 谁让他一直厚着脸皮逼我找工作 |
| [18:45] | and it is fun to tease the fat. | 还有戏弄胖子很好玩 |
| [18:48] | Point taken. | 理由充分 |
| [18:49] | Is the aggrieved party ready to testify? | 受害人准备好作证了么? |
| [18:54] | We’ve won this, Steve. Just sit still for five more minutes. | 胜券在握了 Steve 再老实坐五分钟就行 |
| [18:57] | No problem, I got this. | 木有问题 看我的吧 |
| [19:00] | You’re the reverse Stephen Hawking… | 你丫就一反转史蒂芬·霍金 |
| [19:02] | Body works, shit for brains. | 腿脚好使 脑子吃屎 |
| [19:05] | All ye bearded ladies and genital-nosed freak assholes of the jury… | 诸位女人长胡子鼻子长鸡巴的陪审团大人们 |
| [19:10] | How about a huzzah for Steve? | 不如都给Steve欢呼一嗓吧 |
| [19:13] | Three cheers for the paralyzed dickhead who’s going to take all of my money! | 一起为这个马上抢走我家底的瘫痪傻X欢呼三声 |
| [19:18] | I guess you won, Steve, and you ruined the Park forever. | 我想你赢了 Steve 顺便你把公园也彻底毁了 |
| [19:21] | Con[Bleeping]gratulations. | 祝你大爷的贺了我 |
| [19:31] | You want my money, Steve? Here, take it! | 想要钱是吧 Steve? 走着 拿好 |
| [19:34] | Money, money, money, money, money, money! | 钱钱 钱钱 钱钱 钱钱 钱钱 钱钱 |
| [19:36] | You want this one, Steve? Huh? You like it? | 这张想要不 Steve? 喜欢是吧? |
| [19:38] | You like Mr. Franklin? You want him? Here. | 喜欢富兰克林是吧? 想要他吗? 走着 |
| [19:41] | Dig it out of my shit! | 到我翔里翻吧 |
| [19:46] | You’re getting closer. The face is… | 画的还差点事 那张脸吧… |
| [19:49] | I don’t know how you draw a touch of Down’s, but that’s what I’m thinking. | 不知道你会怎么画唐氏综合症患者 不过我觉得那么画才对 |
| [20:00] | Oh, I hope you’re happy, Steve, because I’m a broken man. | 但愿你美了 Steve 因为我现在成破产鬼了 |
| [20:08] | So itchy! | 痒死了 |
| [20:15] | Your honor, I’d like to drop all charges against Woody Johnson. | 法官大人 我撤销对Woody Johnson的全部指控 |
| [20:19] | And confide with my new client, Woody Johnson. | 即刻牵手我的新委托人Woody Johnson |
| [20:22] | We will be counter suing Mr. Steve Williams for fraud. | 我们要反告Steve Williams先生施行诈骗 |
| [20:27] | What? | 啥? |
| [20:31] | Thanks for winning my money back in that counter suit, Mr. Counselor. | 多谢你帮我反败为胜赢回钱 律师大大 |
| [20:35] | Here, go buy whatever you’d like. | 拿着 想买啥买点啥去吧 |
| [20:37] | Well, this almost covers 5% of my attorney fees. | 这尼玛刚够我5%的律师费 |
| [20:41] | The Paralyzer. I thought they shut that ride… | 瘫痪飞车 还以为他们早关了… |
| [20:45] | Steve Steve! | |
| [20:46] | Shit, you dumb son of a bitch! | 草 你个死王八羔子 |
| [20:48] | I can’t feel my legs! | 我的腿失觉了 |
| [20:50] | I can’t move! | 动不了了 |
| [20:51] | Poke the cripple in the eyeball! | 来玩”戳瞎瘸子眼珠子”咯 |
| [20:54] | One, please. | 来个 谢谢 |