| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | I’m late! | 要赶不上了 |
| [00:29] | Right on time. | 刚好 |
| [00:35] | Mmm… feel the burn. | 看那火辣的小屁屁 |
| [00:50] | Hey, Malloy, nice jersey. Looks like you’re wearing a purple dress. | 嘿 Malloy 运动衣真赞 看着就跟紫连衣裙似的 |
| [00:54] | Yeah, I’m gonna take fashion critiques from a guy in a clip-on and mom jeans. | 戴易拉得领带 穿老妈仔裤 还来指点我的品味 |
| [00:57] | These aren’t my mom’s jeans, she couldn’t fit into them anymore, they’re mine. | 这不是我妈的仔裤 她穿不下了 早就归我了 |
| [01:00] | Hey, Malloy’s just showing his spirit for the big game today. | 嘿 Malloy只是为了呼应今天的大赛罢了 |
| [01:03] | I can’t wait to watch it with you, little buddy. | 我都等不及和你一起看了 小伙子 |
| [01:06] | Aw, damn it! My cookie. | 见鬼 我的饼干 |
| [01:08] | – Five second rule! – Five… | – 五秒规则 – 五… |
| [01:10] | – I can’t get it! – Four… | – 我抓不到 – 四… |
| [01:11] | Connie, help! | Connie 帮我一把 |
| [01:15] | Oh, my God. That was a close one. | 天呐 差点就没得吃了 |
| [01:18] | Thank you, Connie. | 多谢了 Connie |
| [01:20] | – No problem. – Oh, come on, Connie. | – 不客气 – 行了 Connie |
| [01:23] | Don’t be so modest. You’re like a freak of nature. | 这么谦虚干嘛? 你本是自然界的奇葩 |
| [01:25] | Steve Steve! | |
| [01:27] | We all know Connie’s a lumbering, hulk-like affront to humanity, | 我们都知道Connie动作笨拙 身形巨大 |
| [01:29] | but it’s not nice to say it. | 但说出来就不好了 |
| [01:31] | That’s why I learned sign language. | 这就是为什么我要学手语 |
| [01:34] | I was giving Connie a compliment, Ethel. | 我这是夸Connie呢 Ethel |
| [01:36] | God blessed her with unnatural lesbian strength. | 是老天赐予她超自然的女同神力 |
| [01:39] | Lesbian? Watch your mouth, Steve. | 女同? 注意言辞 Steve |
| [01:41] | That’s a hate word. | 这可不是什么敬辞 |
| [01:43] | I think it’s high time I speak to you all about tolerance. | 我看是时候和你们谈谈包容了 |
| [01:46] | We should be tolerant of everyone, be they straight, be they gay, | 我们应该包容所有人 不管他取向正常 还是同性恋 |
| [01:50] | or the Jesus hates homos church who are having a rally at the Park today. | 还是今天要来公园集会的”耶稣恨基佬”教会成员 |
| [01:53] | Jesus hates homos? They’re an ignorant cult. | 耶稣恨基佬? 真是无知透顶 |
| [01:56] | Well, that’s intolerant. | 你看 这就是不包容 |
| [01:58] | How would you feel if they said bad things about you? | 如果人家说你坏话 你又作何感想? |
| [02:01] | That’s all they do! I know because… | 他们就在说我坏话 我知道因为… |
| [02:04] | I used to be a member. | 我曾是他们中的一员 |
| [02:06] | It was 15 years ago. | 大概在15年前 |
| [02:08] | I was your average, everyday little girl. | 我只是常人眼里平淡无奇的小女孩 |
| [02:13] | I wanted to please my mother so much. | 我很想做妈妈的开心果 |
| [02:19] | She just ignored me and my hankering for hoo haa untill she couldn’t anymore. | 但她却选择无视我和我的女同欲望 直到最后忍无可忍 |
| [02:24] | My father and the church members made a “gay curing” machine. | 爸爸和教会成员制造了一台”同性恋矫正机” |
| [02:27] | They called it “the homo eradicator.” | 取名”同性洗脑仪” |
| [02:29] | You like that, sinner? Do you? | 喜欢他们吗 罪人? 喜欢吗? |
| [02:32] | I’ll bet Slater from Saved by the Bell would make you Screech. | 我猜《救命下课铃》里的Slater会让你尖叫 |
| [02:36] | Doesn’t Pat Sajak hold your gay back? | 难道Pat Sajak也不能让你回心转意? |
| [02:39] | And try romancin’ Ted Danson. | 现在试试情种Ted Danson |
| [02:53] | – You had enough? – No. | – 看够没? – 没 |
| [02:54] | I wanna see how it ends. | 我想看她们怎么收场的 |
| [02:57] | When it didn’t work, my parents disowned me. | 因为治疗失败 爸妈遗弃了我 |
| [03:00] | They bought a St. Bernard, named it Connie, | 他们买了一条圣伯纳德犬 叫它Connie |
| [03:03] | and photo shopped me out of all the family pictures. | 还把我从所有家庭合影里P掉了 |
| [03:06] | I never spoke to them again. | 那以后我就没和他们联系过了 |
| [03:08] | Man, that’s messed up! | 靠 真是乱套 |
| [03:09] | If they wanted a dog named Connie, they could’ve just kept you. | 想养叫Connie的狗 留着你不就行了? |
| [03:12] | Shut up, idiot. | 闭嘴 痴呆 |
| [03:13] | Connie, I never knew you’d been through so much. | Connie 我不知道你经受了这么多坎坷 |
| [03:16] | Woody, you can’t have that hate-filled church here. | Woody 你不能把那些充满敌意的教徒们放进来 |
| [03:18] | Yeah, yeah. Maybe I should reconsider having these hate mongers at our Park. | 是啊是啊 或许我得重新考虑要不要把这些反动派放进来 |
| [03:21] | – They paid cash. – Cha ching! | – 人家可付过门票钱 – 结了 |
| [03:23] | Welcome, hate mongers! | 欢迎你们 反动派们 |
| [03:25] | We need to make these people feel comfortable. | 我们得让这些家伙顺心点 |
| [03:27] | Time to de-gay the Park! Connie, put on this dress. | 是时候把同性恋之风清出公园了 Connie 把这裙子穿上 |
| [03:30] | Yow. That’s a tough sell. Here. | 天呐 这可不养眼 试试这个 |
| [03:32] | For the next 24 hours, you’re gonna be a straight guy | 接下来的24小时 你的身份是一个叫… |
| [03:35] | named Chester… Beefbottom. | Chester Beefbottom的直男 |
| [03:43] | You don’t think I’m a freak, do you? | 你不觉得我是怪胎 对吧? |
| [03:45] | Whatever you say. Just don’t stick me in your crotch again. | 随你怎么说 别再把我塞进裤裆就行 |
| [03:49] | Connie? Oh, Sweetie, take that off. | Connie? 亲爱的 把那东西摘下来 |
| [03:51] | I cannot believe how insensitive Woody is. | 真不敢相信Woody冷漠到这个份儿上 |
| [03:54] | I already took off the fake one! | 我已经把假胡子拿掉了 |
| [03:56] | – Ooh! Sorry. – Thanks for understanding, Ethel. | – 抱歉 – 谢谢你能理解我 Ethel |
| [03:59] | – You know I didn’t choose to be this way. – Well, that’s up for debate. | – 你知道同性恋只是天生的 – 这一点略有争议 |
| [04:02] | But you are an incredible person. | 但你真是个非常棒的人 |
| [04:04] | You’re sweet, you’re considerate, you’re beautiful, inside and… | 你可爱体贴 人又美 不管是心灵美还是… |
| [04:08] | Well, inside. | 还是心灵美 |
| [04:10] | – Oh. I didn’t know you felt this way. – Of course I do. Come here. | – 我都不知道你这样看我 – 我当然是这样看你啦 过来抱抱 |
| [04:15] | Go for it! | 上吧 |
| [04:17] | Connie… no! Oh, God, gross! | Connie… 不要 天呐 恶心死了 |
| [04:21] | Connie, wait! I didn’t mean gross. I just meant… | Connie 别走 我不是说恶心 我只是说… |
| [04:23] | Slightly nauseating. I just feel a little sick. | 有点想吐 我只是觉得有点不适 |
| [04:27] | I probably won’t vomit! | 我很可能不会吐出来哦 |
| [04:33] | Welcome to Brickleberry. Make yourselves at home. | 欢迎来到脆莓 请别拘束 |
| [04:35] | Who put that there? | 哪来的彩虹? |
| [04:37] | Woody, here’s the remainder of the payment. | Woody 这是旅游费的余钱 |
| [04:39] | – I hope cash is okay. – Cash? | – 付现钞没问题吧 – 现钞? |
| [04:41] | I love cash! | 我爱死现钞了 |
| [04:43] | But not as much as I love vagina. | 但比不上我对女人花蕊的爱 |
| [04:45] | Don’t you think vagina’s much better than a dude’s butthole? | 你不觉得女人花蕊比男人菊花好得多吗? |
| [04:48] | I do. | 我是这么觉得 |
| [04:50] | Where are you taking us, Connie? | 咱们这是去哪儿 Connie? |
| [04:52] | Away from everyone. | 躲开全世界 |
| [04:53] | Woody’s having that stupid church here, and Ethel thinks I’m slightly nauseating. | Woody非要把那些教会傻瓜弄进来 Ethel还觉得我有点恶心 |
| [04:58] | Slightly? | 岂止有点? |
| [04:59] | Hey. No smoking in the Park, mister. | 嘿 公园内禁止吸烟 先生 |
| [05:07] | How am I ever gonna get in here? | 这可怎么进去呢? |
| [05:16] | Ooh. They may be ignorant Morons, but their cash is green. | 他们或许是白痴 但他们的银子照样白哗哗 |
| [05:20] | Think I’m gonna play golf this weekend to celebrate the windfall. | 我盘算周末用这笔意外之财打打高尔夫 |
| [05:23] | Denzel, do you wanna caddy again? | Denzel 你还想开高尔夫球车吗? |
| [05:25] | He can’t. Denzel and I have plans. We’re going to Pez Con! | 他可没空 我俩有约在先 一起去Pez糖派对 |
| [05:29] | – Pez Con? – Uh, yeah! | – Pez糖派对? – 一点不错 |
| [05:31] | For pez collectors. Like me. | 我这种Pez糖收集者的盛会 |
| [05:33] | Will you say that again, so I can record it? | 你能再说一遍让我录下来不? |
| [05:35] | Then I’ll have something to play back when I forget why I hate you. | 哪天我忘了为什么恨你 就有的提醒了 |
| [05:38] | Denzel, why the hell are you going? You’re not a dork like Steve. | Denzel 你去那破地方干嘛? 你又不像Steve那么傻里傻气 |
| [05:42] | He’s going with me because we’re friends. Something money can’t buy. | 他和我去是出于兄弟仗义 这情谊千金不换 |
| [05:46] | You must have forgotten, Steve, that I always get what I want. | 你肯定忘了一件事 Steve 那就是老子想要的 必须得手 |
| [05:50] | – Denzel, I’ll pay ya double. – Double? Oh, hell, yeah. | – Denzel 跟我走 工资翻番 – 翻番? 太棒了 |
| [05:53] | Come on, Denzel. I can’t go to Pez Con alone. | 拜托 Denzel 我不能一个人去Pez糖派对 |
| [05:55] | The pez heads will think I’m a loser! | 那些Pez粉会以为我是个衰货 |
| [05:58] | The pez heads will think I’m a loser! | 那些Pez粉会以为我是个衰货 |
| [06:00] | Got it. | 搞定 |
| [06:01] | Gays are witty. Gays are clean. | 同性恋机智风趣 同性恋讲究干净 |
| [06:03] | They are polite, they are good dancers, | 他们礼貌谦和 还跳得一手好舞 |
| [06:06] | snappy dressers, and raise property values. | 穿着得体 拥有非常大的升值空间 |
| [06:09] | But you got to take my word for it… | 但请诸位牢记我的话… |
| [06:12] | Homosexuals are evil! | 同性恋者都是罪人 |
| [06:15] | Thank you. There is nothing that Jesus hates more than a gay… | 谢谢 世上没有比同性恋更让耶稣厌恶的东西… |
| [06:19] | Not a murderer, not a rapist, not even a Jew. | 杀人犯比不上 强奸犯比不上 就连犹太人都比不上 |
| [06:23] | – But Jesus was a Jew. – Stone him! | – 但耶稣不就是犹太人吗? – 砸死他 |
| [06:29] | At ease, soldiers. Just a Park Ranger. | 放轻松 士兵们 只不过是个林警 |
| [06:32] | Sorry about that, Mr… Beefbottom. | 很抱歉吓到你了 Beefbottom先生 |
| [06:34] | Wow. What is this place? | 这是什么地方? |
| [06:37] | You’re inside of a top-secret military research facility. | 你正身处最高机密军事研究所 |
| [06:40] | – Top secret? – Yes! | – 最高机密? – 没错 |
| [06:42] | So you must promise to keep our secret a secret. | 因此你必须承诺对我们的最高机密进行保密 |
| [06:44] | Pinkie swear! | 拉勾勾 |
| [06:46] | Good enough for me. | 这就够了 |
| [06:48] | The government has been using Brickleberry as a cover for decades. | 几十年来 政府一直都把脆莓公园当挡箭牌 |
| [06:51] | What we do here is develop highly classified, specialized explosives. | 让我们在这里开发高度保密的专用炸弹 |
| [06:55] | This bomb gives the enemy low blood sugar. | 这颗炸弹会导致敌人低血糖 |
| [06:58] | Try fighting a war when you’re all cranky. | 没人能在脚都站不稳的情况下打仗 |
| [07:00] | This one makes your face look like Bruce Jenner’s. | 这颗会让你的脸变成Bruce Jenner那样 |
| [07:03] | Usually leads to mass suicide. | 通常这会导致敌人集体自杀 |
| [07:05] | This bomb turns people into dead people. | 这颗炸弹能把活人变成死人 |
| [07:07] | Just a regular bomb, really. | 就是普通炸弹 没错 |
| [07:09] | This one’s a gay bomb. This one’s a… | 这颗是搞基炸弹 这颗是… |
| [07:12] | Whoa, whoa, whoa. Gay bomb? Tell me about this one. | 等等等等 搞基炸弹? 说说这个 |
| [07:15] | It’s, uh… top secret. | 这是… 最高机密 |
| [07:17] | – Show the top secret film! – Are you sure about that? | – 播放最高机密影片 – 您确定? |
| [07:20] | Yeah. He did the pinkie swear. | 是的 他和我拉过勾了 |
| [07:22] | Top secret Movietone news, your source for all things classified. | 最高机密电视新闻 您对所有保密信息的来源 |
| [07:26] | The Jerries were on the march to take over all of Europe. | 德国佬正在向前挺进 企图占领全欧洲 |
| [07:29] | Uncle Sam’s only hope was a secret weapon | 山姆大叔寄所有希望于一件秘密武器 |
| [07:31] | developed using state-of-the-art homo-nuclear technology… | 以最尖端同性核科技研制的… |
| [07:34] | The gay bomb. | 搞基炸弹 |
| [07:36] | Ka-pow. And like that, those krauts went from sour to sweet. | 就这样 这些德国佬由尖酸变得甜蜜 |
| [07:40] | The gay bomb… pride of America, savior to the world! | 搞基炸弹 美国的骄傲 世界的救星 |
| [07:44] | This baby turns every person in a 20-mile radius into an instant homosexual. | 这宝贝能把20英里内的所有人立刻掰弯 |
| [07:49] | Wow. I never knew there was a gay bomb. | 我还真不知道有搞基炸弹 |
| [07:51] | Well, that’s just the slang name. | 当然了 这只是个俗称 |
| [07:53] | The eggheads back in Los Alamos call it “the sissy missile.” | 这蛋头在洛斯阿拉莫斯实验所里叫做“娘娘腔导弹” |
| [08:06] | Screw it. Set this bitch off. | 去他的 点了这玩意 |
| [08:08] | What did that hand just say? | 这只手刚说什么? |
| [08:11] | No! Stop that hand! | 不好 阻止那只手 |
| [08:21] | Oh, no, you didn’t! | 告诉我这不是真的 |
| [08:26] | What have you done? | 看看你做的好事 |
| [08:29] | The shock wave is going to hit all of those people any minute now! | 这下冲击波在任何时候都会袭击到人 |
| [08:33] | He’s my friend, and he’s going to Pez Con with me! | 他是我哥们儿 得和我去Pez糖派对 |
| [08:36] | Bullshit! He is a grown man. | 扯淡 他是成年人了 |
| [08:38] | He can make his own decisions. He’s caddying for me. | 能够做出自己的选择 他是我的杂役 |
| [08:44] | Denzel is my man! | Denzel是我的人 |
| [08:45] | You can have him after I get through with his brown chocolate ass and balls. | 等我先把这巧克力猛男上了 你就可以和他玩了 |
| [08:57] | Wow! This is the utopia I’ve dreamed of! | 这正是我梦寐以求的理想国 |
| [09:01] | Connie, is that you? | Connie 是你吧? |
| [09:03] | Uh, Reverend Rusty? | Rusty牧师? |
| [09:04] | Oh, talk about an eye opening moment, you know? | 说到大开眼界 你懂的 |
| [09:08] | I can’t believe I was all about hate for so many years. | 真不敢相信这么多年我一直充满仇恨 |
| [09:11] | I just wanna apologize for being so rude to you. | 我只想为那么粗鲁地对待你道歉 |
| [09:15] | Uh… no problem. | 没关系的 |
| [09:17] | Would you two cut it out? | 你俩能快点吗? |
| [09:19] | We’re late for the Kathy Griffin show in Tucson. | 我们赶不上Kathy Griffin在图森的演出了 |
| [09:21] | All aboard the winky wagon! | 大家快上闪闪车啦 |
| [09:30] | Hiya, Coco. | 好啊 大椰椰 |
| [09:31] | Oh, my God, have you seen my snuggly wuggly? | 天呐 你有木有看过我的小甜心啊? |
| [09:35] | – Who, Malloy? – Mall… ha ha! | – 谁? Malloy? -Mall… |
| [09:36] | No, miss thing. My boy toy, Denzel. | 哪儿啊 搞错了 我的男宠Denzel |
| [09:40] | Ooh! There he is. | 他在那儿呢 |
| [09:49] | How do these pants make my ass look? | 这裤子显得我屁股怎么样? |
| [09:51] | – Big? – Good! | – 硕大 – 好极了 |
| [09:54] | Conini Panini! There you are. | Conini小亲亲 你在这儿 |
| [09:56] | Hey, Steve. I love your frosted tips. | 嘿 Steve 我喜欢你染的那几根毛 |
| [09:59] | Thank you. What did Woody want? | 谢谢 Woody刚才想干啥? |
| [10:01] | – He’s looking for Denzel. – That bitch! | – 他在找Denzel – 那死贱人 |
| [10:05] | This is awesome! | 真是赞爆了 |
| [10:07] | What the hell is going on, Connie? | 这特么怎么回事 Connie? |
| [10:08] | Woody’s acting really weird. Steve, pretty much the same. | Woody太奇怪了 Steve倒还是那个吊样 |
| [10:11] | Well, I found this secret base, I accidentally set off a gay bomb, and then… | 我发现一个秘密基地 不小心引爆了一颗搞基炸弹 然后… |
| [10:15] | Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I read about that in highly unlikely bullshit magazine. | 行了行了 这种屁事我在莫须有的扯淡杂志上读过 |
| [10:19] | Connie, sorry about earlier. | Connie 之前真不好意思 |
| [10:21] | I’ve always liked you a lot as a friend, but something’s different about you. | 我一直只把你当朋友看待 但现在你有些变了 |
| [10:25] | Your thighs are so… your breasts are completely… | 你这腿也太… 你这咪咪可真… |
| [10:30] | I just wanna bang your frigging brains in. | 我现在只想把你上了 |
| [10:32] | Thank you, Jesus! | 谢谢您了 耶稣大爷 |
| [10:35] | Ethel, don’t rush it. | Ethel 别急 |
| [10:37] | I’ve dreamed of this moment. | 我一直在期待这一刻 |
| [10:39] | I wanna do it just right. | 咱们好好整一把 |
| [10:48] | This is like a dream, Connie. | 此景只应梦中有 Connie |
| [10:50] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [10:52] | Don’t ever wake me up. | 永远不要把我叫醒 |
| [11:03] | Oh, no! | 不 |
| [11:05] | Oh, my God… no! | 苍天呐 不 |
| [11:07] | – What’s wrong? – I’m straight! | – 怎么了? – 我变直了 |
| [11:12] | Ten seconds left in triple overtime! One final play! | 离第三次加时结束还有十秒钟 最后的对决 |
| [11:15] | Give me that! It’s The Cupcake Wars season finale. | 给我拿来 今天可是《杯型蛋糕战争 》的季终集 |
| [11:18] | – Hey, hey, what are you doing? – Ugh. I cannot get into sports. | – 嘿嘿 你要干嘛? – 我对体育可真不感冒 |
| [11:21] | Change it back. | 给我换回来 |
| [11:23] | And that’s it! The best play in the history of sports! | 太精彩了 体育史上最精彩的对决 |
| [11:27] | What’s that, Jim? Our instant replay machine broke? | 怎么了 Jim? 我们的回放机器坏了? |
| [11:29] | Hmm. Well, it looks like if you missed that play, you’ll never get to see it. | 看来如果你错过了那一幕 就再也看不到了 |
| [11:33] | We now join The Bachelorette already in progress. | 下面将要播出的是《单身女郎》 |
| [11:37] | You know that’s a hate crime. | 要知道你这是仇恨罪 |
| [11:41] | Hi, brown sugar. | 嗨 红糖甜心 |
| [11:43] | – You getting pretty for me? – Maybe. | – 在为我打扮吗? – 也许咯 |
| [11:45] | These are for you. | 这是送给你的哦 |
| [11:46] | Oh… my… | 我… 滴… |
| [11:48] | God! | 神啊 |
| [11:50] | Wow. You really like roses, huh? | 你还真是喜欢玫瑰哈? |
| [11:52] | Oh, Woody, Woody, I love it, I love it, I love it! | Woody Woody 我爱死了 我爱死了 我爱死了 |
| [11:58] | I can’t believe I’m not gay anymore. | 真不敢相信我不是同性恋了 |
| [12:00] | The blast from the bomb must have done it somehow. | 这肯定跟炸弹爆炸有关系 |
| [12:03] | I wonder if… mm… | 我在想能不能… |
| [12:08] | Oh, no. My lesbian strength. | 不 我的女同神力 |
| [12:11] | It’s gone! Oh, my heavens. | 没了 天啊 |
| [12:13] | I broke a nail. | 指甲盖都劈了 |
| [12:15] | Honk, honk. Why’d you run off, sexy? | 嘀嘀 你怎么逃走了 美女? |
| [12:17] | You left me high and not-so-dry back there. | 把我一个人留在那儿 我可都湿了 |
| [12:20] | Uh, Ethel, look, I don’t know how to explain this, but… | Ethel 听着 我不知道该怎么解释 但… |
| [12:25] | I’m just not into you anymore. | 我就是对你没性趣了 |
| [12:27] | What? You’re kidding. You’re rejecting me? | 什么? 逗我玩呐 你在拒绝我吗? |
| [12:29] | Nobody rejects me. I am [Bleep] hot. | 谁敢拒绝我? 我特么这么性感 |
| [12:31] | I’m at least a nine. You’re, what, a four, a five? | 我最起码9分 你呢? 4分还是5分? |
| [12:34] | And that’s on the goddamn Richter scale! | 这还得按里氏震级来算 |
| [12:36] | Oh. Look, I’m sorry, Ethel. | 听着 Ethel 对不起 |
| [12:39] | You don’t understand. I can be with whoever I want. | 你还没弄清楚 我想和谁搞就能和谁搞 |
| [12:41] | – And I wanna be with you. – No. | – 现在我就想和你搞 – 不 |
| [12:43] | Oh, your mouth says no, but your body says… | 你嘴上说不 你身体可不这么… |
| [12:46] | No! My body says no too. | 不 我身体也会说不 |
| [12:48] | Hmm. Playing hard to get, huh? | 欲擒故纵吗? |
| [12:50] | Well, that gets my lady parts barking like a Jack Russell. | 搞得我花蕊像杰克罗素梗快叫出声了 |
| [12:57] | That big, pasty butt’ll be mine soon enough. | 这大面团屁股很快就要归我了 |
| [13:03] | Oh, I can’t believe I’m straight. | 真不敢相信我居然直了 |
| [13:05] | This is a disaster. | 这是个灾难 |
| [13:11] | Excuse me, Sir. We’re late. | 打扰一下 这位先生 我们迟到了 |
| [13:13] | Do you know where the Jesus hates homos rally is? | 你知道”上帝恨基佬”集会在哪吗? |
| [13:16] | Mom? Dad? | 妈? 爸? |
| [13:19] | Connie? Connie? | |
| [13:22] | Oh, not you, Connie. The bull dyke. | 没叫你啦 Connie 叫那同性恋呢 |
| [13:29] | Your eyes glisten like a star. | 你双眸闪亮 如同两颗明星 |
| [13:32] | Your skin is brown and tasty like a Kit Kat bar. | 你棕肤诱人 好吃胜过奇巧 |
| [13:40] | Denzel Yoo-hoo! Denzel! | |
| [13:42] | Wanna take a ride on a real boat? | 想在真正的船上乘风破浪吗? |
| [13:46] | You’re not leaving me, are you? | 你不会离开我 对吧? |
| [13:47] | No, Steve, I’d rather stay here and listen to your poem. | 当然不会 Steve 我情愿留下来听你念诗 |
| [13:50] | – Really? – Hell, no! | – 真的? – 必须假的 |
| [13:52] | [Bleep] Your poem. | 去你丫的诗吧 |
| [13:59] | Dear, why haven’t you called in all these years? | 亲爱的 这么多年怎么一直不打电话? |
| [14:01] | You moved and didn’t give me the number. | 你们搬走了 也没给我新号码 |
| [14:03] | Right. Well, it’s been fun. | 对哦 行吧 见上一面挺好的 |
| [14:05] | – Let’s do it again in 15 years. – Or 20. | – 咱们15年后再会 – 20年也行 |
| [14:08] | Wait. Mom, dad, I have something to tell you. | 等等 爸 妈 我有点事想跟你们说 |
| [14:12] | I’m straight! | 我现在直了 |
| [14:14] | Really? Oh, thank God! | 真的吗? 苍天有眼啊 |
| [14:17] | My little girl. Oh, we’ve got our daughter back! | 我的宝贝囡啊 我们的女儿正常了 |
| [14:20] | Alan, it may be kind of awkward having two Connie’s around though. | Alan 家里有两个Connie应该会很乱套吧 |
| [14:24] | Way ahead of you. | 我早想到了 |
| [14:28] | Go to sleep, Connie. | 睡觉吧 Connie |
| [14:30] | Go to sleep. | 长眠吧 |
| [14:35] | She called me her little girl. | 她叫我小囡囡 |
| [14:36] | Mommy’s little girl! | 妈咪的小囡囡 |
| [14:39] | Hello, lover. | 你好啊 情人 |
| [14:41] | Ethel, stop trying to get a peek at my baby maker. | Ethel 不许再偷看人家的婴儿制造器 |
| [14:44] | You’re gonna ruin everything with my mom. | 你会搞砸我跟妈妈的关系的 |
| [14:46] | Oh, screw that crotch blocker. That woman had you tortured. | 让那桃花终结者去死 她让你受尽折磨啊 |
| [14:49] | Things are different now, Ethel. | 现在不一样了 Ethel |
| [14:51] | She even bought me this body wash. | 她还给我买了这个沐浴露 |
| [14:53] | No! I like it when you smell like the floor of a circus. | 没门 我就喜欢你闻着像马戏团地板的味道 |
| [14:57] | – Alan, we have a problem. – Yeah. | – Alan 我们还有个麻烦 – 是呀 |
| [15:00] | I can’t believe you ruined my game, Woody. | 我不敢相信你搞砸了我的比赛 Woody |
| [15:04] | What the hell are you doing? | 你特么干嘛呢? |
| [15:05] | I have company coming over later, and you’re shedding all over the house. | 待会儿人家有朋友要来 你熊毛掉得满房子都是 |
| [15:08] | And you left toothpaste in the sink again. | 而且又把牙膏弄在水槽里了 |
| [15:10] | Toothpaste in the sink? Last week you got drunk | 水槽里的牙膏? 你上周喝大了 |
| [15:12] | and shit down the garbage disposal. | 还把屎拉在水槽眼里呢 |
| [15:14] | Well, that was the old me. Meet the new me, honey. | 那是以前的我啦 认识全新的我吧 亲 |
| [15:17] | I’m here, I’m queer, get used to it! | 天生我才必搞基 你不适应都不行 |
| [15:20] | I’m fine if you turn into a gay guy. | 你变基佬我倒没意见 |
| [15:22] | But only you would turn into the most annoying gay guy on Earth. | 你变成全世界最碎嘴的基佬 我可受不了 |
| [15:25] | That was uncalled for, you heartless bastard! | 怎么说话呢 你个没良心的混球 |
| [15:30] | And now I suddenly have sympathy for Katie Holmes. | 突然间我好同情Katie Holmes |
| [15:34] | My little girl is straight. | 我家囡囡被掰直了 |
| [15:35] | Oh, we’re gonna spend the whole day together. | 咱娘俩得好好过这一整天 |
| [15:38] | I’m so excited, mom. | 我好激动哦 妈妈 |
| [15:39] | Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy! | 好耶 好耶 好耶 好耶 |
| [15:45] | Hope I’m not interrupting anything! | 希望我没打扰到你们哦 |
| [15:47] | Can’t you see we’re busy getting busy? | 没看我们正忙着快活吗? |
| [15:49] | I’m not speaking to you. | 人家才不跟你讲话 |
| [15:50] | Denzel, I just wanted to give you this. | Denzel 我只想把这个送你 |
| [15:52] | Ooh, arts and crafts! Oh, turn down the flame a little bit. | 艺术手工啥的 欲火被浇熄的感觉嘛 |
| [15:56] | Oh, Steve, I love it. | Steve 我好喜欢哦 |
| [15:59] | Oh, no, you don’t! He’s mine! | 你少来这套 他是我的 |
| [16:01] | – Says who? – Says me! | – 谁说的? – 我说的 |
| [16:03] | Will you two stop it? I like both of you. | 别闹了好吗? 你俩我都喜欢 |
| [16:05] | – But he likes me more. – You shut your big mouth! | – 但喜欢我多一些 – 闭上你的大嘴巴 |
| [16:13] | I’ll claw your eyes out. | 看我把你眼珠子挖出来 |
| [16:15] | That’s it. I’m done. | 有你们的 我服了 |
| [16:20] | Hey, anybody else got a little stiffy? | 嘿 还有谁有点硬了么? |
| [16:24] | Ethel, I’ve come to my senses. | Ethel 我终于明白你的爱意了 |
| [16:27] | I need your evil lesbian body now. | 我现在就想占有你那邪恶的女同之身 |
| [16:32] | Connie? Connie? | |
| [16:34] | That was a weird note, but I… | 那纸条怪怪的 但我… |
| [16:36] | No! Hey! What are you doing to me? | 住手 嘿 你们要对我干嘛? |
| [16:40] | Meet the homo eradicator. | 来见见”同性洗脑仪” |
| [16:43] | You know, I never really liked that name that much. | 话说我一直不是很倾心那名字 |
| [16:45] | I always thought we should call it “the queer-o-disappear-o.” | 我在想应该叫它”基情消失机” |
| [16:49] | Alan, stop! | Alan 住手 |
| [16:51] | Go to sleep, Chuck. | 睡去吧 Chuck |
| [16:52] | Go to sleep. | 睡去吧… |
| [16:59] | Connie, you look great in your outfit. | Connie 你穿这身真好看 |
| [17:02] | I don’t know. It’s kinda itchy, mom. | 有吗? 身上有点痒 妈妈 |
| [17:04] | Well, sometimes having class is itchy, dear. | 有时啊 全身发痒就是有品位的代价 亲爱的 |
| [17:07] | What’s the matter? You haven’t touched your crumpets. | 怎么啦? 你的烤饼干都没动 |
| [17:10] | Oh, I was just thinking about my friend Ethel. | 我在想我朋友Ethel |
| [17:12] | Oh, that evil lez ho? About her… | 那个邪恶的蕾丝小贱人? 她呀… |
| [17:15] | It was supposed to be a surprise, | 本来是想给你个惊喜的 |
| [17:17] | but your father is reprogramming her as we speak! | 咱们聊天这会儿 你爸正在改造她呢 |
| [17:21] | No! | 不行 |
| [17:21] | What? You should be happy for that skank. Look how well this worked on you. | 什么? 你应该为那臭女人高兴才对 瞧把你改造得多好 |
| [17:25] | It doesn’t work, mother. That machine is torture. | 那破机器没用 妈 它就是给人上刑 |
| [17:29] | It does work. Look at you now. You used to be a freak. | 怎么会没用 看看你现在 以前你就是个怪胎 |
| [17:32] | I liked being a freak. All my life, I just wanted your acceptance. | 我就喜欢当怪胎 这些年来 我就想你们接受我 |
| [17:36] | But it’s not worth it. I gotta be me! | 现在看来不值得 我就要做自己 |
| [17:39] | Now, excuse me while I save my friend. | 现在恕我失陪去救朋友了 |
| [17:44] | I’m taking these. | 这些路上吃 |
| [17:48] | And these. | 还有这些 |
| [17:51] | You gonna eat that pink one? | 粉红那块你还吃么? |
| [17:54] | Ethel Ethel! | |
| [17:55] | I can’t get past those guards without my lesbian strength. | 没了女同神力 我闯不过这些守卫的 |
| [17:58] | Come on, Connie. You must have a little lesbian left in there. | 加油 Connie 你心底肯定还是有点蕾丝边的 |
| [18:01] | Just dig deep. | 深掘内心 |
| [18:03] | Yeah. You’re right. | 对 你说得对 |
| [18:11] | You bastard! Let her go. | 你个坏蛋 放了她 |
| [18:14] | Let her go! | 放她走 |
| [18:15] | That’s it, sinner. Let it all out. | 好了 罪人 释怀吧 |
| [18:17] | Get your hands off me. | 把你们脏手拿开 |
| [18:22] | Those maniacs are gonna torture Ethel to death, and I’m powerless to stop them. | 那些疯子要把Ethel折磨至死 我却无能为力 |
| [18:26] | That’s it! | 对啦 |
| [18:27] | I need to reverse the effects of the gay bomb. | 我得逆转”基佬炸弹”的效果 |
| [18:30] | – Yes, we do. – Malloy? | – 对 我们一起 – Malloy? |
| [18:32] | Yes. This is my problem too. | 是我 这破事也影响到我了 |
| [18:34] | A gay Woody is hard to swallow. | 弯男Woody实在难以下咽 |
| [18:36] | Get your mind outta the gutter, Connie. We need to get to the army base. | 给我振作起来 Connie 我们得去那个军事基地 |
| [18:53] | This is exactly what I thought secret government bases were like. | 这政府秘密基地绝对跟我之前想象的一模一样 |
| [18:56] | Beefbottom! How are you? | Beefbottom 你好吗? |
| [18:59] | – We need to reverse the… – What? | – 我们要逆转… – 什么? |
| [19:01] | We’re hoping that you know a way… | 我们希望你有办法… |
| [19:02] | – What? – We need the goddamn antidote. | – 说什么? – 我们需要该死的解药 |
| [19:05] | Oh! Here. | 这里 |
| [19:07] | We only have one dose. | 我们只有一人份 |
| [19:11] | Hey, who says you get it? I’m taking this to Woody. | 谁说给你了? 我要拿去给Woody |
| [19:13] | No, I need it to save Ethel. | 不行 我要用这个去救Ethel |
| [19:15] | Give me that! | 给我拿来 |
| [19:21] | Oh, look what you did. | 看你干的好事 |
| [19:24] | That was my last chance to save Ethel. | 那可是我拯救Ethel的最后机会啊 |
| [19:28] | Ha ha ha! I was just [Bleep] with you. | 我刚才唬你们玩呢 |
| [19:29] | That wasn’t the antidote. That was a Mai Tai that Bruce made. | 那不是解药 是Bruce做的迈泰鸡尾酒啦 |
| [19:35] | Well, where’s the real antidote? | 那真解药在哪儿? |
| [19:37] | There isn’t one. The effects wear off in 24 hours, silly. | 没有解药的 药效24小时后就解除了 傻瓜 |
| [19:41] | What kind of bomb goes away after 24 hours? | 啥破炸弹过一天就没效果了? |
| [19:44] | Uh, anything Katherine Heigl’s in. | Katherine Heigl掺和的都这样 |
| [19:45] | So the effects should be wearing off right about… | 所以药效消失应该就在… |
| [19:52] | What the [Bleep] am I wearing? | 我特么穿的什么玩意儿? |
| [19:59] | Are you guys feeling straight? | 是不是都有被掰直的感觉? |
| [20:02] | – Yeah. – Yeah. | – 对 – 没错 |
| [20:04] | Five-second rule? | 五秒规则吗? |
| [20:10] | Hey! I’m not gay anymore! | 嘿 老娘已经不是女同了 |
| [20:12] | Of course you’d say that. Crank up the juice! | 你当然会这样说啦 增强电量 |
| [20:20] | Oh, I… I think we’re all done here. Congratulations. You passed. | 我… 我看可以收工了 恭喜你 你过关了 |
| [20:24] | Oh, no need to thank us for fixing your friend. | 不用谢我们把你朋友改造正常啦 |
| [20:27] | You’ll have to come over for Christmas dinner this year. | 今年圣诞节晚餐一定得来啊 |
| [20:29] | Dad, I’m gay again. | 老爸 我又变回女同了 |
| [20:31] | Or not. | 不来也成 |
| [20:33] | You know what I’m really regretting right now. | 知道我现在真心后悔什么吗? |
| [20:35] | – Choking our dog to death? – Yeah. | – 勒死咱家的狗? – 对 |
| [20:40] | Thank you for saving my life, Connie. | 谢谢你救了我的命 Connie |
| [20:42] | I’m sorry I caused all this trouble, guys. | 很抱歉我惹了这么多麻烦 各位 |
| [20:45] | Next time, instead of turning everyone gay, | 下次用不着把所有人都弄弯 |
| [20:48] | I’m just gonna sneak into Ethel’s cabin and Chloroform her. | 直接潜行到Ethel的小屋 用迷药放倒她就行 |
| [20:55] | Wait, what? | 等下 你说什么? |
| [20:57] | jinglili099 | 翻译 |