| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | All right, rangers, we have got a problem. | 听好了 林警们 我们遇上问题了 |
| [00:03] | Do you know what this is? | 都知道这是啥吗? |
| [00:07] | Hmm. 2009 Baja Red. | 2009年的红花野蔷薇 |
| [00:10] | Playful on the nose, very dry on the palate, | 闻起来气味超赞 搁嘴里上颚发干 |
| [00:12] | hints of Eucalyptus, Stone Fruits, and Kalamata Olives. | 感觉也没准是桉树叶 核果或者黑橄榄 |
| [00:15] | What? No, it’s marijuana. | 什么? 不是 这是大麻 |
| [00:18] | God, I figured if anyone would know, it would be you, Denzel. | 天呐 我心想谁猜不出来 你也能猜出来呢 Denzel |
| [00:20] | Why? Because all black men love weed? | 怎么? 因为黑人就爱吸毒? |
| [00:22] | No, because you love weed. Look at your shirt. | 哪里 因为你喜欢吸毒 瞧你的底衫 |
| [00:25] | Ho, that’s right! Who don’t like smokin’ up? | 好吧 让你说着了 谁不爱大麻啊? |
| [00:28] | Uh, I don’t. Because I’m not in the sixth grade, and I have shit to do. | 我不爱 因为我还没过成人礼 而且我很忙的 |
| [00:32] | I confiscated this from a dirty hippie 50 feet from this ranger station. | 我是从一个嬉皮男那里查抄来的 就在警站50英尺外 |
| [00:37] | Who’s got an idea for how to smoke out these dope growin’ draft dodgers? | 谁能想个法子让这个日渐庞大的贩毒团伙现形? |
| [00:42] | Come on, guys, get creative. | 给力啊 伙计们 开动大脑啊 |
| [00:44] | I know how we can get some inspiration. | 我知道怎么找灵感 |
| [00:50] | Dude. Dude. Dude. We have to build a rocket… | 哥们 哥们 哥们 咱得造个火箭 |
| [00:54] | To spy on the hippies from outer space, man. | 直接从外太空侦查那些嬉皮士 伙计 |
| [00:57] | Yeah! But the rocket’s gotta be shaped like a big, hairy dinosaur dick! | 是啊 但是一定要造成带毛的恐龙大鸡鸡形状 |
| [01:02] | With giant, purple pterodactyl wings. | 再配一副翼手龙那样的紫色大翅膀 |
| [01:05] | A hairy dinosaur dick with wings? | 插翅膀的恐龙毛鸡鸡? |
| [01:08] | That is brilliant! | 真是碉堡了 |
| [01:10] | We’ll swoop down and laser gun the bastards! | 一个猛子扎下去就把那帮混蛋崩光光 |
| [01:12] | That’s it! | 主意有了 |
| [01:14] | I love weed. | 我爱死大麻了 |
| [01:15] | Connie! Call NASA. | Connie 联系航空局 |
| [01:17] | We need a Jurassic [Bleep] rocket and a shitload more Funyuns. | 我们需要侏罗纪火箭 再配一舱撑死不偿命的洋葱圈 |
| [01:20] | We’re dead. I can’t feel my face. | 完蛋了 我已经感觉不到脸了 |
| [01:22] | I think we’re dead. I’ve got bugs all over me! | 我觉得我们完蛋了 浑身上下都是虫子 |
| [01:37] | Great, we just wasted twelve hours, | 这可好 咱们耗了12个小时 |
| [01:39] | and the only decent idea we had… | 得出的唯一靠谱点子居然是 |
| [01:41] | was attacking them with a genetically engineered cat robot. | 拿基因改良的猫火箭袭击他们 |
| [01:45] | I still think it can work. | 我还是觉得能行 |
| [01:47] | No, I’m calling in the Feds. | 得了 我要请愿联邦调查局 |
| [01:49] | Why? Denzel and I can take these hippies down. | 何必啊? Denzel和我就能摆平那几个嬉皮士 |
| [01:52] | Besides, I always wanted to be an undercover cop. | 另外 我一直挺想当个便衣警察 |
| [02:22] | Get off of me! | 给我滚开 |
| [02:23] | Now, the DEA is gonna handle this. | 接下来缉毒局会接管此事 |
| [02:25] | – But Woody, I… – No! | – 可是Woody… – 闭嘴 |
| [02:26] | There’s no way in hell I’m gonna let you screw this up! | 打死我也不会答应让你过来搅事儿的 |
| [02:29] | You’re way too stupid! And as for Denzel… | 你已经二到姥姥家了 再说Denzel… |
| [02:32] | It’s all good. I don’t wanna be no undercover cop. | 没事啊 我才不想当什么便衣警察 |
| [02:34] | You don’t? But it’s so cool! | 你不想? 便衣警察多酷啊 |
| [02:37] | Hey, could you two idiots play good cop, black cop on your own time? | 嘿 你们俩白痴要唱黑白脸 给我下班唱去 |
| [02:40] | I’m calling the DEA. | 我要求助缉毒局 |
| [02:42] | – Malloy! What are you doing? – Phone sex. | – Malloy 你这是干嘛呢? – 干电话啊 |
| [02:45] | What’s it look like, you crazy, co-dependent [Bleep] sucker? | 帅爆了吧 你个没女人嗨不成的衰货 |
| [02:48] | Whoa! Malloy, that’s even mean for you. | Malloy 话从你嘴里出来太刻薄了 |
| [02:51] | Not as mean as your mom for getting pregnant | 再怎么着也比不上你妈为了怀孕 |
| [02:53] | by backing up to a glory hole in a waffle house. | 跑去松饼屋的寻欢洞作乐啊 |
| [02:56] | What are you laughing at, you [Bleep]? | 笑什么笑 你个臭女人? |
| [02:58] | Nice try trying to sneak outta here, you dump truck with tits. | 想偷摸溜走是吧? 你个带奶的大卡车 |
| [03:01] | My God, Malloy. What is happening to you? | 上帝啊 Malloy 你这是怎么了? |
| [03:04] | Lately, you’ve been incredibly mean, | 这阵子你可是超级刻薄啊 |
| [03:05] | and you’ve been humping… Ohh, he’s [Bleeping] my lunch! | 而且还总干… 好吧 他又去干我的午餐了 |
| [03:07] | You can eat this in a minute. | 一分钟后你就能吃上了 |
| [03:09] | Now, stick your finger in my butt, so I can finish. | 赶紧把手指插我屁屁 我就歇着了 |
| [03:13] | Ethel, can we talk? | Ethel 能说会话吗? |
| [03:16] | – Sorry, that’s my stomach. – Connie, are you okay? | – 抱歉 这是胃在叫呢 – Connie 你没事吧? |
| [03:19] | Yeah, I’m having a little bit of a cash flow problem. | 其实 我最近碰上点资金流动问题 |
| [03:22] | Haven’t eaten in a week. Can I borrow some money? | 我都一个礼拜没吃东西了 能跟你借点钱不? |
| [03:25] | For food? Of course. | 买吃的? 当然能借 |
| [03:27] | No, silly, for my telephone psychic. | 不是 呆子 是为了我的电话灵媒 |
| [03:29] | I call her all the time. She’s very expensive. | 我一天到晚跟她聊天 她出价很高的 |
| [03:32] | Connie, I am not loaning you money to throw away on some stupid psychic. | Connie 我不会为了什么电话灵媒把钱借给你的 |
| [03:35] | I thought you were my friend, Ethel. | 我可把你当朋友的 Ethel |
| [03:37] | Connie Oh, Connie. | |
| [03:41] | Now, that one was my vagina. | 现在才是阴道在叫 |
| [03:50] | Welcome, gentlemen. | 欢迎二位先生 |
| [03:52] | I’m your point man here, Special Detective Ranger enforcer Steve Williams. | 我是本园核心林警 特别侦查执行员Steve Williams |
| [03:55] | I’m prepared to handle any sort of secret combat | 我已做好准备接手你们部署的 |
| [03:58] | or spying mission you require of me. | 任何秘密战斗或侦查任务 |
| [04:00] | Yes, um, Special Detective Williams. | 好的 Williams特别侦查员 |
| [04:03] | You’re just the man we want to see. | 你正是我们想见的人 |
| [04:05] | – I am? – Oh, yeah. | – 真的? – 没错 |
| [04:06] | We got a job for you. | 我们有活儿拜托你 |
| [04:08] | Denzel! The Feds are on the ground for less than five minutes, | Denzel 联邦调查员着陆不到五分钟 |
| [04:11] | and I already landed a key transport mission! | 就部署我一件重要的运输任务 |
| [04:14] | You’re carrying their luggage, dumb ass. | 你这是给人拉行李 衰货 |
| [04:15] | I heard Robocop had to do the same thing on his first day. | 我听说机械战警上班第一天干的也是这事 |
| [04:18] | You don’t wanna become a cop. Trust me, Steve. | 你不会喜欢做条子的 相信我 Steve |
| [04:20] | The Jackson family’s always been cops. | 我们Jackson家祖祖代代都是条子 |
| [04:22] | My father, cop. His father, cop. | 我爸 条子 他爸 条子 |
| [04:25] | His father, cop. | 他爸的爸 条子 |
| [04:27] | His father, slave. | 他爸的爸的爸 奴隶 |
| [04:29] | But he really didn’t have a choice. | 可他那时候没得选啊 |
| [04:31] | Wow, that’s a lot of cops. Why didn’t you become one too? | 一窝子条子啊 你咋不子承父业? |
| [04:34] | Because they all got their asses killed in the line of duty. | 因为他们都在执行任务时被人干掉了 |
| [04:36] | It’s just a bunch of pot-growing hippies. | 我们要解决的只是一帮嬉皮士 |
| [04:39] | It would be so easy to just go… | 要逮住他们很容易… |
| [04:41] | Oh, that’s disturbing. | 真会分我神 |
| [04:42] | Malloy, stop humping the duffel bag! | Malloy 放开那个小背包 |
| [04:45] | It’s a valise, you peasant. | 人家是手提包 乡巴佬 |
| [04:47] | Don’t you snap at me! | 不许你呵斥我 |
| [04:49] | What’s wrong with him? | 它这是闹什么邪啊? |
| [04:50] | It’s normal, Woody. It’s puberty. | 很正常 Woody |
| [04:52] | His testicles are producing large amounts of testosterone, hence the mood swings. | 它的蛋蛋正在分泌大量睾丸素 搞得它蠢蠢欲动 |
| [04:55] | He’ll be full-grown practically overnight. | 不出一晚他就进入成年期了 |
| [04:57] | No, I don’t want that! | 不行 我不想它长大 |
| [04:59] | There’s got to be some way to stop this. | 必须想个法子阻止这事 |
| [05:04] | Where am I? | 我在哪? |
| [05:05] | Oh, remember, honey? | 还记得不 宝贝? |
| [05:06] | Daddy took you to the vet to get your… Teeth cleaned? | 老爹带你到兽医那儿去… 洗牙齿了 |
| [05:10] | My balls are killing me! | 我蛋疼的要死 |
| [05:12] | Eh, they look all right. | 看着来还好呀 |
| [05:16] | You had me neutered? | 你把我给阉了? |
| [05:17] | Hey, you won’t be mean anymore. | 嘿 这样你就不会那么刻薄了 |
| [05:19] | Plus, you’ll be forever young, just like Dick Clark. | 而且你将会青春永驻 就像Dick Clark一样 |
| [05:23] | Steve, I’m starting to think you lied to me | Steve 我怀疑你是不是骗我 |
| [05:25] | about there being an amusement park out here. | 这里哪有什么游乐园 |
| [05:26] | Why are you so suspicious? | 干嘛疑神疑鬼的? |
| [05:28] | Well, for one, I never heard of no Six Flags over Brickleberry. | 我从没听说脆莓有什么游乐园 |
| [05:31] | And for two, we are clearly following those undercover agents. | 第二 咱明摆着是在尾随那俩便衣警察 |
| [05:34] | They are really going to appreciate us getting their backs during their top-secret undercover meeting. | 他们会为我们给他们的机密会议放哨感激得不得了的 |
| [05:39] | What? Steve, I told you I don’t want no part of this. | 什么? Steve 我说过不想卷进这档事的 |
| [05:42] | Oh, great, look who it is. | 真棒 看看这是谁 |
| [05:43] | Our favorite tree cops, doofus and dick-breath. | 我们最喜欢的林警 傻蛋和蠢驴 |
| [05:46] | Yeah, piss off. | 对啊 一边凉快去吧 |
| [05:47] | If we see any fish or trees jaywalking, we’ll let you know. | 如果我们看到有树乱穿马路 会告诉你们的 |
| [05:51] | You do that. Affirmative. 10-4. | 没问题 收到 明白 |
| [05:56] | Here’s our chance to do something police-y. | 是时候找点当警察的乐子了 |
| [05:58] | Hold it! Stay clear of that shed over there. | 站住 不要进那边的小屋 |
| [06:01] | My two DEA buddies are about to bust some marijuana farmers, | 两个缉毒局哥们正准备逮捕几个种大麻的 |
| [06:05] | and they are tough… | 他们可不好对付… |
| [06:07] | So tough that they aren’t even wearing bulletproof vests. | 厉害到连防弹衣都不用穿 |
| [06:10] | Thank you. You have been very helpful. | 谢谢 你可真是个好心人 |
| [06:20] | Hmm… Something must’ve tipped him off. | 一定是有人把他们给告密了 |
| [06:22] | Steve, we gotta get outta here! | Steve 我们得离开这儿 |
| [06:25] | My name is Nikolai. | 我叫Nikolai |
| [06:27] | You two must be our new growers from California. | 你俩肯定是来自加州的新种植商了 |
| [06:30] | Actually, there’s been a huge misunder… | 事实上 你完全弄错… |
| [06:32] | Yeah, we’re the new growers from California! | 没错 我们是来自加州的新种植商 |
| [06:36] | – Say what? – What is your name, my friend? | – 你说什么? -你叫什么 朋友? |
| [06:40] | I’m… | 我是… |
| [06:41] | – Mario? – Mario what? | – 马里奥 – 马里奥什么? |
| [06:45] | – Brothers? – Mario Brothers? | – 兄弟 – 马里奥·兄弟 |
| [06:48] | – Then who’s this? – Oh! That’s Ted… | – 那这位又是… – 他是俄罗斯… |
| [06:52] | Tris. | 方块 |
| [06:53] | Ted Tris? And Mario Brothers? | 俄罗斯·方块? 马里奥·兄弟? |
| [06:58] | Welcome to the Russian marijuana cartel! | 欢迎加入俄罗斯大麻垄断联盟 |
| [07:03] | Tell me a little bit about yourself Mario Brothers. | 我想对你增进了解 马里奥·兄弟 |
| [07:06] | I’m a plumber, and I’ve got a brother named Luigi. | 我是个水管工 有个叫路易基的兄弟 |
| [07:09] | I’ve also had a bad history with this fire-breathing turtle. | 我还和一只会喷火的乌龟有过宿怨 |
| [07:13] | What the hell are you talking about, Steve? | 你到底在扯些什么啊 Steve? |
| [07:15] | I see that I’m the only one that worked on my back story. | 看来我是这里唯一能圆谎的人了 |
| [07:21] | As you can see, our crops are suffering. | 如你所见 我们的收成糟糕透顶 |
| [07:23] | Last grower did a terrible job. Sadly, he passed away. | 上任种植商干得相当糟糕 很痛心他不在世了 |
| [07:26] | – From what? – From me shooting him multiple times in the brain. | – 为什么? – 因为我给他下了一场子弹雨 |
| [07:32] | That’s not funny. | 这可不好玩 |
| [07:33] | But that should not be problem for you two. | 但我想你们接下这块地应该没问题 |
| [07:36] | All you need to do is to make these sick, near-death plants | 你们要做的就是让这些要死不活的病苗子 |
| [07:38] | flourish like they’ve never flourished before. | 绽放出前所未有的生机 |
| [07:40] | You have one week. | 给你们一个星期 |
| [07:41] | Uh, hypothetically, what if the plants need a extra day or two? | 假设一下 如果这些苗子需要多长一两天呢? |
| [07:45] | That’s fine. As long as you don’t mind getting, eh… | 没问题 只要你不介意挨… |
| [07:49] | How you say? Punched in the kisser? | 怎么说来着? 嘴上接招 |
| [07:51] | Punched in the kisser? Woo, that don’t sound so bad. | 嘴上接招? 听起来还没那么糟糕 |
| [07:53] | In Russia, punch means stab and kisser means anus hole. | 在俄罗斯 接招意思是用刀捅 而嘴的意思是菊花 |
| [07:57] | A whole week? Heh! Weeks are for pussies. | 一礼拜? 切 娘们才要一礼拜呢 |
| [08:01] | – We can do it by tomorrow. – Okay, Mr. Brothers. | – 我们明天就能搞定 -好的 我的好兄弟 |
| [08:04] | Plants grow by tomorrow, or you die. | 明天要么交货 要么交命 |
| [08:08] | Good luck! | 祝你们好运 |
| [08:11] | We’ve got him right where we want him. | 现在我们总算是引蛇出洞了 |
| [08:14] | You stupid dumb ass! | 你这头大蠢驴 |
| [08:15] | How could you promise we could turn this schwag into bomb-diggity chronic by tomorrow? | 怎么能答应在明天就把这不毛之地变成生机勃勃的绿洲? |
| [08:19] | Look at this big-ass field. It’s nothing but seeds and stems. | 看看这一大片田 满地只有种子和断茎 |
| [08:22] | Don’t you know how to grow this stuff? | 你不是知道怎么种这玩意么? |
| [08:23] | Steve, I don’t grow this shit. I smoke this shit! | Steve 我不知道怎么种 我特么用抽的 |
| [08:26] | Well, not to worry. | 好吧 别担心 |
| [08:28] | Your pal Mario’s got two green thumbs. | 玩园艺 我马里奥必须竖两根大拇指 |
| [08:30] | Three, if you count my penis. | 如果算上小鸡鸡 就是三根 |
| [08:33] | I should probably get to a hospital. | 看样我得去医院看看了 |
| [08:36] | Stupid Woody trying to change me. | 蠢蛋Woody居然想改变我 |
| [08:38] | I don’t need bear beans to be Malloy. | 没了熊蛋蛋 我照样还是Malloy |
| [08:41] | Woody, you know how fat you are? | Woody 知道你是个肥猪吗? |
| [08:44] | About… | 大概… |
| [08:46] | Average for an American man your age. | 你体重是同龄美国人的平均体重 |
| [08:49] | Ethel, you look lovely. | Ethel 你好甜美 |
| [08:51] | What the hell am I saying? | 我特么说什么呢? |
| [08:53] | Connie, the dyke store called… | Connie 女同商店刚打电话来… |
| [08:55] | And they’ve apologized… | 他们要为… |
| [08:57] | For their very offensive name. | 给你起侮辱外号道歉 |
| [09:00] | Grow! Grow, damn you, grow! | 快长啊 长啊 该死的 长啊 |
| [09:03] | Or do you want this to happen to you? | 是不是想尝尝这滋味啊? |
| [09:06] | They don’t even respond to threats. | 他们连威慑都不买账 |
| [09:08] | We dead. I knew it. | 我们死定了 我就知道 |
| [09:10] | Wait a minute. I remember something. | 等等 我想起来了 |
| [09:14] | His testicles are producing large amounts of testosterone. | 他的蛋蛋正在分泌大量睾丸素 |
| [09:16] | He’ll be full-grown practically overnight. | 不出一晚他就进入成年期了 |
| [09:18] | – Overnight. Overnight. – That’s it! | – 不出一晚 不出一晚 – 有了 |
| [09:31] | Steve, have you lost your goddamn mind? | Steve 你丫是不是精神了? |
| [09:33] | This is your plan? Bear ball juice? | 这就是你的计划 熊蛋汁? |
| [09:35] | It’s testosterone. | 这是睾丸素 |
| [09:37] | – Didn’t you see my thought bubble? – Man, I’m getting outta here. | – 没看到我灵光闪现吗? – 靠 我要撤了 |
| [09:40] | White people do some [Bleeped] up shit. | 白人脑子里从不装什么好料 |
| [09:46] | Connie? What the hell are you doing? | Connie 你在搞什么鬼? |
| [09:49] | You wouldn’t loan me money, and I needed to call my psychic, | 你又不借钱 我还要和灵媒煲电话粥 |
| [09:51] | so I’m selling this hot ass. | 只能卖身了 |
| [09:53] | Eh, how’s that been going for ya? | 好吧 情况如何了? |
| [09:55] | Not bad. | 还不赖 |
| [09:56] | Most people speed up. | 多数人都加速离开了 |
| [09:58] | One guy swerved to hit me, | 有个人想转弯撞飞我 |
| [09:59] | and a couple hunters shot at me because they thought I was a bison. | 还有几个猎人把我误认成野牛向我开枪 |
| [10:02] | I tell you what. | 要不这样吧 |
| [10:04] | Here’s a number for a new psychic named… | 给你个新灵媒的电话号码 她叫… |
| [10:06] | Madam Ethlia. Uh, Etheliola. | 艾茜莉亚女士… 艾茜里欧拉 |
| [10:09] | – Eth… Ethelopia. – Madam Ethelia? | – 艾茜…艾茜罗比亚 -艾茜莉亚女士? |
| [10:12] | Sure, whatever. She’s the best, and she’s totally free. | 嗯嗯 随便吧 她可是最棒的 而且不收费哦 |
| [10:15] | Hot dog. I’m gonna call her right now. | 太好了 我马上就给她打电话 |
| [10:17] | A-a-all right. See ya, Connie. | 好好好吧 回见 Connie |
| [10:21] | – Hello? – Madam Ethelia? | – 你好 – 艾茜莉亚女士吗? |
| [10:23] | – My name is Connie. – Oh, Connie, yes, I know. | – 我叫Connie – Connie啊 我知道 |
| [10:27] | I was expecting your call. | 我就等你电话呢 |
| [10:28] | Expecting my call? Wow, you are psychic. | 你在等我电话? 你真是灵啊 |
| [10:32] | Hop on in! | 上车来呗 |
| [10:33] | I have always wanted to have sex with a bison. | 我一直都想跟野牛搞一次呢 |
| [10:38] | Man, I hate Mother Nature. | 靠 大自然母亲去死吧 |
| [10:39] | Why’d she have to make all these trees and scary spiders and animals and shit? | 她干嘛要弄些个树啊 吓人蜘蛛啊 动物啊乱七八糟的 |
| [10:43] | They’re coming for me! | 他们来找我了 |
| [10:45] | No. Just need to stay calm. | 不对 只要淡定就好 |
| [10:47] | I bet this would help squash my paranoia. | 我敢打赌这宝贝能缓解焦虑 |
| [10:51] | – Hey, son. – Pops? | – 嘿 我儿 – 老爹? |
| [10:53] | – Damn, this is some good shit. – I’m proud of you, boy. | – 靠 这东西真牛X – 我以你为荣哦 孩子 |
| [10:56] | – You finally an undercover cop. – I don’t wanna be! | – 你终于当上卧底了 – 我才不想呢 |
| [10:58] | Some bad dude’s about to kill me. | 那些坏蛋要宰了我啊 |
| [11:00] | – What should I do? – Just do what I always did. | – 我该怎么办? – 用我以前那一套就好 |
| [11:02] | Don’t fake no funk, don’t jiggity-jive, | 别假了巴唧 五迷三道 |
| [11:05] | and if they give you the smack-’em-whack-’em, | 丫们如果不拿豆包当粮食 |
| [11:07] | you dipsy-doodle them cats right back. | 你就绕个回马枪抽他们丫挺的 |
| [11:09] | – What? – Shit, boy. | – 什么啊? – 晕 我儿啊 |
| [11:11] | You best get with it. | 你最好快点动手咯 |
| [11:14] | I gotta stop smokin’ weed. | 我真得戒毒了… |
| [11:16] | Ooh, there’s the road! | 路在这儿啊 |
| [11:21] | – Oh, man. – Morning, Ted Tris! | – 我靠 – 早啊 俄罗斯·方块 |
| [11:24] | So excited to see how you make plants grow. | 很期待看你们怎么种的草呢 |
| [11:27] | Get in car, or I shoot you. | 上车 要不然崩了你 |
| [11:32] | Hoo, whew! I’m tired. | 我累啦 |
| [11:34] | Oh, boy, I’m gonna just rest here. You go ahead. I’ll catch up. | 哎哟喂 我在这歇下 你们先请 我会跟上来 |
| [11:39] | You’re black and funny like the Urkel. | 你这老黑真搞笑 就像Urkel一样 |
| [11:41] | Oh, well. Can you at least cut my throat before you stab my asshole? | 好吧 捅我菊花前能不能至少先把喉割了? |
| [11:45] | Big enough for ya? | 长得够大了不? |
| [11:47] | You are super, Mario Brothers! | 你真是超级 马里奥·兄弟 |
| [11:53] | Mario, you are genius. Brilliant. | 马里奥 你真个天才 棒极了 |
| [11:57] | You are my number one guy. | 你就是我的男一号了 |
| [11:59] | Tell me… Anyone disrespect you? | 跟我说… 有谁不尊敬你吗? |
| [12:01] | No, no, no, no. Not at all. | 没 没 没 谁都没 |
| [12:03] | Eh, well, earlier, I sneezed, and Ivan didn’t say “bless you.” | 不过 早些时候 我打了个喷嚏 Ivan没说”祝你健康” |
| [12:07] | That… That doesn’t… | 那… 那没什么… |
| [12:08] | Holy shit! | 我了个擦 |
| [12:10] | And now I have no son. | 现在无人为我送终了 |
| [12:11] | That was your son? | 那是你儿子? |
| [12:13] | Oh, my God. You must really like me. | 我的天啊 你是真心欣赏我啊 |
| [12:16] | Keep this up, and you will be a made man. | 接着好好干 你就出人头地了 |
| [12:19] | Really? That’s even cooler than being an undercover cop… Not that I am one. | 真的? 这比当卧底还酷啊… 不是说我是卧底啦 |
| [12:23] | Now, what do you comrades need? Nothing is too good for you. | 话说回来 同志们需要点啥? 为你们我在所不惜 |
| [12:27] | Aw, we’re simple men. We don’t need much. | 我们都是草民 哪有什么要求 |
| [12:32] | Steve, this undercover stuff has been fun, | Steve 这当卧底还真有意思 |
| [12:35] | but I’m a little worried we’re getting in too deep. | 但我有点担心是不是陷太深了 |
| [12:36] | Don’t be ridiculous. | 别犯傻了 |
| [12:38] | Uh, gentlemen, your lunch as requested… | 两位先生 按您要求的午餐 |
| [12:40] | An endangered white tiger carcass full of crunch berries. | 濒危白虎尸裹麦片果 |
| [12:44] | I told you to take out all the blue ones! | 我说了把蓝的都给我摘出去 |
| [12:48] | You know, Steve, we aren’t actually doing any police work. | Steve 我们其实没做啥警察该做的事 |
| [12:51] | What do you mean? | 你啥意思? |
| [12:52] | We’ve sacrificed everything to eliminate the evil scourge that is drugs. | 我们为了铲除害人的毒品 不惜牺牲了一切 |
| [12:56] | Now, come on, let’s do some blow and relax. | 行了 别说了 吸上两口放松下吧 |
| [13:00] | Doc. | 医生 |
| [13:01] | Is it possible to reattach a pair of testicles? | 有没有可能给我再装一对蛋蛋? |
| [13:04] | No. | 没有 |
| [13:06] | That’s what a licensed doctor would say. | 有执照的医生只会这样告诉你 |
| [13:08] | But lucky for you, I have an unhealthy obsession with experimental medicine. | 但你真够幸运 我变态地痴迷于实验类医学 |
| [13:12] | Bring me your gonads, and I’ll be happy to reattach them. | 把你的生殖腺带来 我很乐意给你重装回去 |
| [13:15] | Heck, for the right price, I’d even sew a dick to your forehead. | 钱够多的话 在你脑门上缝鸡鸡都可以 |
| [13:21] | – Hola. – Hi, Madame Ethelia. | – 你好哇 – 你好 艾茜莉亚女士 |
| [13:23] | Will I find true love? | 我能找到真爱么? |
| [13:28] | Hola. | 你好 |
| [13:29] | What’s next month’s $5 footlong gonna be? | 下个月的五元特惠三明治什么口味? |
| [13:32] | Why do my pits smell like fried chicken? | 为什么我胳肢窝总有炸鸡味? |
| [13:35] | How many fingers am I holding up? | 我现在伸着几根手指头? |
| [13:37] | When will the robots take over? | 机器人什么时候统治地球? |
| [13:40] | – Ah! Stop! – Oh, Ethel, please. | – 给我停下 – Ethel 拜托 |
| [13:42] | If you keep screaming, we’ll never find my car keys. | 再嚷嚷的话 我的车钥匙绝对找不到了 |
| [13:46] | Woody, that pot farm is bigger than we thought. | Woody 那个大麻农场比我们想像的要大 |
| [13:48] | It’s run by the Russian Cartel. | 是俄罗斯黑帮在经营 |
| [13:50] | I’ve infiltrated the organization, | 我已经潜入了内部组织 |
| [13:52] | and they’re inducting me into their inner circle tonight. | 他们今晚就要升我的职 让我加入高层 |
| [13:55] | Wow, Steve, I’m impressed. Did you gather any evidence? | Steve 我真小看你了 有收集到什么证据吗? |
| [13:58] | Of course I did. | 当然有 |
| [13:59] | I am Nikolai. I am a bad man. | 我是Nikolai 我是个坏人 |
| [14:02] | I grow drugs. Then I sell them. | 我种毒草 然后拿去卖 |
| [14:04] | That’s you on the tape, Steve. | 录音上那是你吧 Steve |
| [14:05] | Duh, it’s a reenactment. | 肯定啊 这叫场景重现 |
| [14:07] | I wasn’t gonna take a recorder in there. They’d kill me. | 我才不要带录音机去过去呢 他们会宰了我的 |
| [14:09] | Well, congratulations, Steve. | 好吧 恭喜你了 Steve |
| [14:11] | You’re the stupidest son of a bitch in the history of Earth. | 你就是地球历史上最傻X的王八蛋了 |
| [14:14] | I don’t have to take this. | 老子才不要受你的气 |
| [14:16] | I’m going back to the cartel for good. | 老子回黑帮去好好做人了 |
| [14:18] | They respect me and think I’m a genius! | 他们尊重我 还觉得我是天才 |
| [14:21] | Hey, genius. You just walked into the shitter. | 喂 天才兄 你进的是茅坑好吧 |
| [14:25] | Steve, do you know where Woody hid my balls, I can’t find them anywhere? | Steve 知道Woody把我蛋蛋藏哪儿了? 我到处都没找着 |
| [14:28] | Balls? What balls? I didn’t take any balls. | 蛋蛋? 什么蛋蛋? 我才没拿什么蛋蛋呢 |
| [14:30] | I didn’t say you took them. But I will say nice outfit. Looks snazzy. | 我又没说你拿 但我得说衣服不错 看着真俏 |
| [14:34] | Did I just say snazzy? Okay. I wanna die. | 我刚才说”俏”了? 好吧 我想去死 |
| [14:37] | Come on, Denzel. Let’s get back to work. | 走吧 Denzel 我们回去干活 |
| [14:39] | Steve, I’m staying here. You should too. | Steve 我不走了 你也该留下 |
| [14:41] | We’re in over our heads, man. It’s not safe. | 我们晕了头了 老兄 那个不靠谱啊 |
| [14:43] | I can’t believe you’re giving up. | 真不敢相信你要放弃了 |
| [14:45] | You are a disgrace to your family name. | 你真丢你那个姓的脸 |
| [14:48] | Jackson? I’m pretty sure I’m not the one who disgraced that name. | Jackson这姓? 我肯定不是我给这个姓丢脸的 |
| [14:52] | What is matter, Mario? | 怎么啦 马里奥? |
| [14:54] | Aren’t you excited about initiation? | 要入会了 你不激动吗? |
| [14:56] | Eh, my stupid boss… | 我那傻蛋老板… |
| [14:58] | Er, Woody, who is not my boss because I’m not a Park Ranger. | 叫Woody 他不是我老板 因为我不是个林警 |
| [15:03] | I’m a drug manager. Is that what we’re called? | 我是贩毒经理 咱是不是这个称呼法? |
| [15:05] | This Woody, he disrespected you? | 这个叫Woody的 对你不敬? |
| [15:08] | – I will take care of it. – Thank you. | – 我来教训他 – 多谢了 |
| [15:12] | No “gesundheit,” mama? | 不说”祝你健康”吗 妈妈? |
| [15:15] | No one in this family has manners. | 我们这一家子都是粗人 |
| [15:17] | It’s the truth, Malloy. | 我没骗你 Malloy |
| [15:19] | I don’t know what happened to your testes. | 我不知道你的蛋蛋上哪去了 |
| [15:21] | Jeesh, I’m just as upset as you are. | 老天 我和你一样寝食难安啊 |
| [15:23] | Oh, have you been castrated this week? Because I have. | 这礼拜挨阉的不是你吧 我才是挨阉的 |
| [15:29] | You’ve played Mario Brothers for the last time. | 你已经没机会冒犯马里奥·兄弟了 |
| [15:39] | Mario, before you’re accepted into our inner circle, | 马里奥 让你成为内部成员之前 |
| [15:43] | you need to go through rite of passage. | 你必须通过试炼 |
| [15:45] | Sure, what is it? | 成啊 做什么? |
| [15:46] | Swallow a goldfish? Shotgun a beer? Jerk off a mall Santa? What? | 活吞金鱼? 枪打啤酒? 公开打飞机? 还是啥? |
| [15:49] | Kill this man, and you will be cartel member for life. | 宰了这家伙 你将终生成为垄断组织成员 |
| [15:52] | Best part is this is your mortal enemy. | 最棒的是 这可是你的宿敌 |
| [15:56] | Bowser? | 不会是 |
| [15:58] | Steve? Steve? | |
| [16:00] | Who is Steve? | 谁是Steve? |
| [16:02] | I-I don’t know. Not me, that’s for sure. | 我不知道 反正不是我 我肯定 |
| [16:05] | Nobody calls Mario “Steve”! | 没人敢把马里奥叫Steve |
| [16:06] | Please kill him. | 拜托做掉他吧 |
| [16:10] | Ethel, you look so tired. | Ethel 你看起来累坏了 |
| [16:11] | What, do you got stuff on your mind? | 怎么了? 是不是有心事? |
| [16:14] | You should totally call madam Ethelia. | 你真该给艾茜莉亚女士打电话 |
| [16:16] | I talk to her all day and all night. | 我每日每夜都找她咨询呢 |
| [16:18] | Connie, what if you found out that the psychic you’ve been talking to wasn’t a real psychic, | Connie 如果发现你咨询的那个灵媒根本不是什么灵媒 |
| [16:23] | but just a good friend with a really great body? | 而是你某个好心肠好身材的朋友呢 |
| [16:27] | Hmm, let’s see. | 我想想 |
| [16:29] | I guess I’d be as crushed as I’ve ever been | 我想我会崩溃到无以复加 |
| [16:31] | and might even kill myself and a few co-workers too. | 可能会在自杀前杀一两个同事吧 |
| [16:35] | Hmm, okay. | 好吧 |
| [16:36] | Well, what if she made, like, a huge prediction and, just got it way wrong? | 如果她预测了… 比如 做了个大预测 但却预测错了 |
| [16:41] | Would that make you stop believing in psychics? | 这样你会不会不再相信这些个灵媒了 |
| [16:43] | Yeah, I guess it would. | 我想是吧 |
| [16:44] | Well, you should call her right now. | 或许你现在该给她打个电话 |
| [16:47] | Connie, so glad you called. I have a big, huge prediction for you. | Connie 很高兴你打来了 我有个非常非常大的预测要给你 |
| [16:52] | Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. What is it? | 老天 老天 老天 是什么? |
| [16:55] | Um… The morning sun will turn black as night. | 今天早上天色将会变得像深夜一样漆黑 |
| [16:59] | All the birds will fall from the sky. | 鸟儿们将从天空中坠落 |
| [17:02] | Uh, also, blood will flow from… | 还有 鲜血将会从… |
| [17:05] | Your head and, uh… | 你的前额 呃… |
| [17:07] | Your left, um cankle. | 还有你的左脚踝涌出 |
| [17:09] | Oh, no, not my cankle. | 不 不要伤我的脚踝 |
| [17:13] | I hope everyone’s okay. Should I do something? | 但愿大家都没事 我是不是该做点什么? |
| [17:17] | No. No, Denzel. Don’t wanna end up like your daddy. | 不 不 Denzel 别落得和你爹一个下场 |
| [17:20] | Oh, I see. You don’t wanna end up like the old man, | 我明白了 你不想跟你老爹一样下场 |
| [17:23] | – pushin’ up petals, discoing with dirt? – No, pops, I was just… | – 变成花肥 在泥巴汤里腐烂 – 不 伙计 我只是… |
| [17:26] | What’s up, boy? You all ‘fraidy like a house cat? | 怎么了 小子? 碰到麻烦就成怂包了 |
| [17:29] | Yes, yes! I’m ‘fraidy, okay? | 是 是 我就是个怂包还不行吗? |
| [17:33] | Because I don’t wanna die like you, pops. | 因为我不想落得和你一样 老爸 |
| [17:35] | Let me tell you something, son. | 这样和你说吧 孩子 |
| [17:36] | Them corner boys may have iced me, but you know what? | 虽然我被街角阿飞杀掉了 但你知道不? |
| [17:39] | At least I went out doing the right thing with my head held high. | 至少我是昂首挺胸 做我该做的事情 |
| [17:43] | Slammin’, blammin’, whammin’, jammin’, prammin’, crammin’, dammin’, lammin’. | 搏斗 奔跑 哭泣 奋斗 祈祷 蹒跚 诅咒 抱怨 |
| [17:49] | Can you honestly say that about yourself? | 你能坦诚面对自己吗? |
| [17:51] | I can’t say that at all because I don’t know what the [Bleep] you saying. | 我没法面对自己 因为我根本不知道你在说什么鬼东西 |
| [17:55] | Steve, please. | Steve 拜托 |
| [17:56] | Don’t kill me. | 别杀我 |
| [17:57] | I’m sorry I called you the stupidest son of a bitch on the planet. | 我不该说你是世上最大的蠢驴 |
| [18:01] | I’m sure there are plenty of assholes dumber than you are! | 我肯定这世上有不少比你更蠢的蠢驴 |
| [18:07] | Steve, if you kill me, I’ll fire you! | Steve 如果你杀了我 看我不解雇你 |
| [18:09] | Come on, Mario. What are you waiting for? | 开枪吧 马里奥 你还在等什么? |
| [18:12] | Kill him! | 宰了他 |
| [18:16] | I’m sorry. That man’s right. | 很抱歉 这个人是对的 |
| [18:18] | My name is Steve. | 我就是Steve |
| [18:20] | I’m a tree cop, and proud of it. | 我是个林警 而我为之自豪 |
| [18:22] | And now, I’m going to arrest all of you. | 现在 你们都被逮捕了 |
| [18:26] | Okay. How about if I only arrest a couple of you? | 好吧 不如我只逮捕几个吧 |
| [18:31] | Stop, everyone! Or I destroy these. | 别动 都别动 不然我就把这玩意给毁了 |
| [18:34] | You bastard, you stole my fun plums! | 你这混账 是你偷了我的命根子 |
| [18:36] | That’s right. These fun plums are the secret behind your giant weed. | 一点不错 这可是你们那些超级大麻的命根子 |
| [18:40] | And if you shoot me, you’ll just be shooting… | 如果你们敢开枪 那你们的命根子就… |
| [18:43] | No! | 不 |
| [18:46] | My cub makers! | 别让我断子绝孙啊 |
| [18:53] | They’re gone! | 完了 |
| [18:54] | Okay, the bear lost his cub makers. | 好了 既然这熊的命根子没了 |
| [18:57] | Now you die. | 该你受死了 |
| [19:00] | Yo, jive turkeys! Pimp trampy and shrimp scampi! | 毒贩子们 看我不把你们打成马蜂窝 |
| [19:04] | And, uh, I don’t know. | 还有… 管他呢 |
| [19:32] | Connie, how long are you gonna stare at the sun? | Connie 你到底要盯太阳看多久? |
| [19:34] | I am pretty sure nothing is gonna happen. | 我可以肯定不会有任何事发生的 |
| [19:36] | Oh, no? Then what’s that? | 是吗? 那又是怎么回事? |
| [19:49] | Oh, my God. The sun. The birds. | 老天 太阳 还有这些鸟 |
| [19:52] | The blood from my head and bloated cankle. | 我的前额和脚踝都在流血 |
| [19:54] | Miss Ethelia was right. | 艾茜莉亚女士是对的 |
| [19:56] | I’m gonna call her every day for the rest of my life. | 下半辈子我每天都要给她打电话 |
| [19:59] | Oh, shit. I’m psychic. | 见鬼 我还真是灵媒的料 |
| [20:09] | Stop! Or I’ll slit his fat, bullfrog-like throat. | 别动 不然我就割开他肥胖的牛蛙脖子 |
| [20:13] | I don’t think so. | 我可不这样认为 |
| [20:15] | Oops! Heh, sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [20:20] | There’s something wrong with this gun. | 这枪是不是出问题了? |
| [20:25] | I warmed it up for you. | 多亏我给你预热 |
| [20:27] | I feel like hammered shit. | 感觉就像一坨稀巴烂的大便 |
| [20:30] | Rest easy, boss. | 安心吧 老大 |
| [20:32] | I’m glad everything turned out fine. | 很高兴一切恢复正常了 |
| [20:33] | Yeah, Steve. I’m sorry I doubted ya. | 是啊 Steve 我很抱歉怀疑你的能力 |
| [20:35] | Breaking up that Russian Cartel took some balls. | 摧毁俄罗斯大麻垄断联盟确实需要些蛋识 |
| [20:39] | Speaking of balls, mine are killing me. | 说到蛋 我的蛋疼得要命 |
| [20:42] | What? Doc, what the hell… | 怎么回事? 医生 怎么回事? |
| [20:44] | Where are my balls? Where the hell are my balls? | 我的蛋哪去了? 我的蛋特么哪去了? |
| [20:47] | Oh, it’s quite simple, Woody. You looked dead, and I hate taking pulses. | 很简单 Woody 你看着没救了 我也不想给你用电击 |
| [20:51] | And since you are an organ donor… | 既然你签了器官捐赠意愿表… |
| [20:54] | Payback’s a bitch. | 复仇爽翻了 |
| [21:03] | jinglili099 | 翻译 |
| [21:10] | David Coleman | 鸣谢 |
| [21:11] | Addi7ed.com | 鸣谢 |