| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:12] | 鼠与除鼠的人之间[借用小说名《人鼠之间》] 除虫害公司 | |
| [00:19] | Faster! Faster! | 再快点 再快点 |
| [00:20] | Gene, stop whipping me with a tube sock. | 吉恩 不要用短袜抽我 |
| [00:22] | Well, sorry I don’t have dress socks. | 真是抱歉了 我可没有连身袜 |
| [00:24] | Keep going, Dad. | 继续 老爸 |
| [00:25] | You’re almost at the water station. | 马上就要到供水站了哦 |
| [00:26] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [00:27] | Yay, Dad! | 加油 老爸 |
| [00:28] | You’re peddling like crazy | 你蹬得这么费力 |
| [00:29] | and not getting anywhere. | 但啥效果也没有 |
| [00:30] | Just like your life. | 简直跟你的人生一样 |
| [00:31] | Great encouragement, kids! | 你们真会加油打气 孩子们 |
| [00:33] | And… good enough. | 可以了 |
| [00:35] | Now, hit the showers, sweat stuff. | 去洗澡吧 你全身是汗 |
| [00:37] | And wash this sock. | 也洗洗这只袜子 |
| [00:37] | It’s got your stank all over it. | 上面沾满了你的臭味 |
| [00:39] | Boy, your father’s getting a lot of good out of this | 虽然这是俩从后巷捡来的健身车 |
| [00:41] | old exer-cycle someone dumped in the alley. | 却让你们老爸受益不少呢 |
| [00:43] | Maybe it was a hint from a concerned friend, | 也许是有人想暗示老爸他该运动了 |
| [00:45] | like someone anonymously mailing you mouthwash. | 就像有人匿名寄给你嗽口水一样 |
| [00:47] | Yeah, did you like the flavor, by the way? | 对了 你喜欢那漱口水的味道吗 |
| [00:49] | ‘Cause they also make cinnamon. | 也有肉桂味的 |
| [00:50] | No, it was really good. | 不用 已经很好了 |
| [00:55] | That’s weird. | 真奇怪 |
| [00:56] | So, it looks the same? | 看上去一样吗 |
| [00:57] | Yeah, your bald spot is still | 是的 你头部秃顶的地方 |
| [00:58] | exactly the size of the lid of a mayonnaise jar. | 依然和蛋黄酱罐子盖一样大 |
| [01:01] | Or a tiny crop circle. | 也很像一个迷你麦田圈 |
| [01:03] | I guess it’s a mystery. | 看来还真得成谜了 |
| [01:04] | Bob, your mustache! | 鲍勃 你的胡子 |
| [01:06] | – What? – You’re going lip bald! | -怎么了 -你要秃”嘴”了 |
| [01:08] | All right, well, it doesn’t look great. | 好吧 看上去确实不怎么样 |
| [01:10] | Or it’s sexy. It shows a little skin, | 也可以说很性感 多露了点皮肤 |
| [01:12] | but leaves something to the imagination. | 但没全秃 也给人留了想象的空间 |
| [01:13] | “Internet, does my father have mange?” | “因特网啊 我父亲得癞疥了吗” |
| [01:16] | Maybe I should just shave it off. | 也许我应该都给剃光了 |
| [01:17] | “Shave it off”?! | “剃光了” |
| [01:18] | No, no, no! You can’t! | 不行 不行 你不能这么做 |
| [01:20] | Bob, your mustache is like an old friend. | 鲍勃 你的胡子就像一位老朋友 |
| [01:22] | It introduced us. | 它是我们的红娘 |
| [01:23] | It was how we met. | 因为它我们才相识的 |
| [01:24] | Wait, it was how you met? | 等等 因为它你们才相识的 |
| [01:25] | I thought Mom lost a bet. | 不是老妈跟人打赌输了吗 |
| [01:27] | Come on, you know this story. | 你们肯定知道这故事的啊 |
| [01:28] | I never told you this story? | 我从来没跟你们讲过吗 |
| [01:29] | Guys, this is our chance to say | 伙计们 再不说”你讲过” |
| [01:31] | “Yes, you did tell us that story.” | 她就要开始叨叨了 |
| [01:33] | I was engaged to Hugo, | 我本来已经和雨果订婚了 |
| [01:34] | but I wasn’t that into hanging out with him. | 但我并不是那么喜欢他 |
| [01:36] | Here we go. | 看吧 |
| [01:37] | So, one night, I was having a quiet cocktail | 某天晚上 我正在和我的朋友金泽 |
| [01:39] | with my friend Ginger. | 安静地喝酒 |
| [01:43] | So, I said, “That’s not how you throw a shrimp. | 我就说 “虾可不是那样扔的 |
| [01:46] | This is how you throw a shrimp!” | 得这么扔” |
| [01:49] | Oh, my God! | 天呐 |
| [01:50] | Hey, you got a lot of nerve grabbing girls’ diamond rings | 你可真有种啊 |
| [01:53] | with your thick, luxurious, | 敢用你那浓密奢华的汤姆·塞立克胡子 |
| [01:55] | Tom Selleck-ian mustache. | 去挂女孩的钻戒 |
| [01:58] | – Hi. – Hi. | -你好 -你好 |
| [01:59] | My eyes are up here. | 你的手就在我眼睛下面 |
| [02:01] | Should we get some scissors? | 我们要不去找把剪子 |
| [02:03] | What’s the rush? | 着什么急 |
| [02:04] | What do you mean? | 你什么意思 |
| [02:05] | Oh, I… Sorry. | 我 抱歉 |
| [02:07] | One thing led to another, and, | 事情就这么一件件发生 |
| [02:08] | I gave Hugo back his ring | 最后我把雨果的戒指还给了他 |
| [02:10] | and told him I met a mustache. | 告诉他我爱上了一个胡子男 |
| [02:12] | So if Dad didn’t have his mustache that day, | 这么说如果老爸那天没蓄胡子 |
| [02:14] | you guys don’t click, don’t get together, | 你们就不会相识 不会在一起 |
| [02:16] | we’re not born. | 我们就不会出生 |
| [02:18] | A world without a Gene | 我可不想活在 |
| [02:19] | is not a world I want to live in! | 一个没有吉恩的世界 |
| [02:20] | Oh, please. Mom and Dad are destined | 拜托 不管怎样 |
| [02:22] | to get together no matter what. | 老爸和老妈都会注定在一起 |
| [02:24] | It’s called fate and it’s great. | 这叫命运 能让人幸运 |
| [02:26] | That’s an easy way to remember it. | 这样这个词会比较好记 |
| [02:27] | No, no, no, no. Shave Dad’s face, | 不 不 不 要是给老爸刮了胡子 |
| [02:29] | Belcher kids are erased. | 就没了贝尔彻家的孩子 |
| [02:30] | If Dad’s lip has no hair, | 老爸要是嘴上没毛 |
| [02:32] | we never come out of there. | 我们就出生不了 |
| [02:34] | Well, we’ll never really know what would’ve happened | 即使我那时没胡子 |
| [02:35] | if I didn’t have a mustache back then. | 我们也没法知道会发生什么了 |
| [02:37] | But we can wildly speculate. | 但我们可以天马行空地猜啊 |
| [02:38] | – No. – I don’t want to do that. | -不 -我不想这么做 |
| [02:40] | I take you back to that night. | 现在我将你们带回到那晚 |
| [02:42] | Everything is the same… almost! | 一切都一样 几乎一样 |
| [02:45] | “That’s not how you throw a shrimp. | “虾可不是那样扔的 |
| [02:46] | This is how you throw a shrimp!” | 得这么扔” |
| [02:48] | Dad’s naked lip is no match for a small karat, | 老爸光秃秃的嘴巴挂不了一颗小克拉 |
| [02:52] | visibly occluded, rose-cut diamond. | 有明显杂质 形似玫瑰的钻石 |
| [02:54] | You know a weird amount about diamonds. | 你对钻石怎么懂这么多 |
| [02:56] | A boy can plan for his big day! | 男生就不能为自己的人生大事做点功课嘛 |
| [02:59] | Oh, oh, God! | 天呐 |
| [03:00] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [03:01] | Got a little blood. | 流血了 |
| [03:02] | Let me get you a napkin. | 我给你找块手帕 |
| [03:04] | There you go. | 好了 |
| [03:04] | All better. Oh, wait, no. | 好多了 等等 不 |
| [03:06] | – It’s gushing. – Oh, no! | -开始往外喷了 -不 |
| [03:07] | Oh, God. Oh, God! Oh, God… | 天呐 天呐 天呐 |
| [03:09] | I don’t really like the sight of blood, either. | 我也不喜欢见血 |
| [03:10] | It’s like, what is that stuff?! | 我会想说 这是什么玩意 |
| [03:12] | Hi, Doc. Sergeant Bosco, PD. | 你好 医生 我是警察局的博斯柯探长 |
| [03:14] | What do you got– lip job? | 什么情况 唇部手术吗 |
| [03:15] | It’s a simple laceration. | 只是简单的划伤 |
| [03:17] | Just a couple of stitches should do it. | 缝几针就行了 |
| [03:18] | He could be perfect. | 我可以让他变得完美无瑕 |
| [03:20] | – You’re losing him! – I’m losing him? | -你要治死他了 -我要治死他了么 |
| [03:21] | Wait, you’re losing me? | 等等 你要治死我了 |
| [03:23] | He’s flatlining! | 心电图呈直线了 |
| [03:25] | You’re making that sound. | 那是你发出的声音 |
| [03:26] | – Induce coma! – Induce coma?! | -诱导昏迷 -诱导昏迷 |
| [03:28] | – I’m commandeering this patient. – Wait! | -我来接手这位病人 -等等 |
| [03:29] | Let’s talk about… | 我们聊聊 |
| [03:32] | Powering up. | 接通电源 |
| [03:36] | He’s on. How are you feeling? | 他醒过来了 你感觉怎么样 |
| [03:39] | I don’t feel. | 我没感觉 |
| [03:40] | What do you remember? | 你还记得什么 |
| [03:41] | – Nothing. – Correct response. | -什么都不记得 -回答正确 |
| [03:43] | The OS is loaded. | 载入操作系统了 |
| [03:44] | Welcome to the force, Officer Robo ‘Stache. | 欢迎加入我们 机器胡警官 |
| [03:51] | Lin! | 琳 |
| [03:51] | I’m just giving you a little comb-over. | 我就是给你拨一拨头发 |
| [03:54] | Gene, why would the police give me a robotic mustache? | 吉恩 警察干嘛给我一个机器胡子 |
| [03:57] | Because they tried robotic ding-dongs, | 他们本来想做机器蛋蛋的 |
| [03:58] | and they were buggy. | 但好多BUG |
| [04:00] | Sure, sure. | 当然 当然 |
| [04:00] | But the mustache unit was bristling | 但是胡子装置采用的全是 |
| [04:02] | with state-of-the-art technology. | 最先进的技术 |
| [04:04] | 45-caliber revolver, tear gas, paper shredder, | 45口径的左轮手枪 催泪瓦斯 碎纸机 |
| [04:07] | universal remote, pencil sharpener, | 通用摇控器 卷笔刀 |
| [04:09] | toothpick, melon baller. | 牙签 挖球器 |
| [04:12] | Robo ‘Stache, you are fully trained. | 机器胡 你已经训练有素 |
| [04:14] | We’ve uploaded police academy to your brain. | 我们把整个警察学校都下载到你大脑里了 |
| [04:16] | The movies and the actual training. | 包括电影和训练内容 |
| [04:17] | They are funny, except for 5: Assignment: Miami Beach. | 很有意思 除了第五部《迈阿密之旅》 |
| [04:21] | That is correct. What are your directives? | 正确 你的指令是什么 |
| [04:22] | Serve the public, protect the innocent. | 服务社会 保护平民 |
| [04:25] | Dance like no one’s watching. | 旁若无人地跳舞 |
| [04:26] | And a fourth hidden secret one | 还有一条不能让我知道 |
| [04:28] | I’m not allowed to know about | 我也不该关心的 |
| [04:29] | but shouldn’t concern me in the slightest. | 第四条指令 |
| [04:32] | Perfect. Now hit the streets! | 完美 现在去街上吧 |
| [04:33] | The new broom on Dad’s lip | 胡子老爸一上任 |
| [04:35] | swept the city clean. | 整个城市都清净了 |
| [04:36] | Hold it, punk. | 等等 废物 |
| [04:38] | Hold it, pug. | 等等 哈巴狗 |
| [04:40] | Drop the loot, scum. | 停止抢劫 人渣 |
| [04:41] | It’s take-a-penny, leave-a-penny! | 这是零钱自取盘 |
| [04:43] | More like take-a-tase, take-a-tase. | 尝尝我的厉害 |
| [04:47] | Indecent exposure! | 不得体的暴露 |
| [04:50] | My butt cheeks! | 我的屁股瓣儿 |
| [04:50] | Why would you do that? | 你干嘛那样 |
| [04:52] | So, I’m kind of nitpicky as a cop. | 所以我是个找刺的警察 |
| [04:54] | No, you’re not good. | 不 你是坏人 |
| [04:55] | Just keep going, Gene. | 接着说吧 吉恩 |
| [04:57] | *I’m engaged to Hugo! * | *我和雨果订婚了* |
| [04:59] | *Is that good? I don’t know! * | *这决定对不对 我也不知道* |
| [05:01] | *As long as I don’t think about it * | *只要我不去想* |
| [05:01] | Public nuisance detected! | 公共场合发现讨厌的人 |
| [05:03] | *Too much, yeah * | *太多* |
| [05:03] | Beanbag deployed. | 豆弹手枪准备完毕 |
| [05:05] | *I… * | 我 |
| [05:06] | Oh, my mouth! | 我的嘴 |
| [05:06] | Hey, it’s you! You a cop now? | 是你啊 你现在是警察了吗 |
| [05:09] | You look different with that mustache. | 你有了胡子变得很不一样了 |
| [05:10] | You look good! | 看上去很帅 |
| [05:11] | Compliment accepted. | 接受赞美 |
| [05:12] | I’ll pass that along to my supervisors. | 我会转告我的监督人 |
| [05:15] | They’ll be jazzed. | 他们会很高兴的 |
| [05:16] | You have the right to buy me a cup of coffee. | 我可以允许你请我喝杯咖啡 |
| [05:18] | Please don’t use cute cop speak. | 请不要使用警察调情用语 |
| [05:20] | It’s not cute. | 一点也不吸引人 |
| [05:21] | So tell me about yourself. | 跟我说说你的事吧 |
| [05:23] | There’s not much to tell. | 没什么特别的 |
| [05:24] | My ding-dong is not robotic. | 我的蛋蛋不是机械的 |
| [05:26] | They are buggy. | 机器蛋蛋BUG太多 |
| [05:28] | Gene! | 吉恩 |
| [05:28] | – It was bound to come up! – See, Gene? | -就是会有这段话啊 -看到没 吉恩 |
| [05:30] | You couldn’t stop fate even in your own story. | 就算在你自己编的故事里也摆脱不了命运 |
| [05:32] | Dad has a mustache, and he and Mom are hitting it off | 老爸还是有胡子 他和老妈还是看对了眼 |
| [05:34] | like peanut butter and Jerry. | 就像杰瑞和花生酱 |
| [05:36] | You know, that kid from school | 杰瑞就是那个 |
| [05:37] | who has peanut butter every day? Jerry? | 每天都吃花生酱的学生 那个杰瑞 |
| [05:39] | Don’t get attached, | 别太投入了 |
| [05:40] | – because not everyone lives– hint, hint. – No! | -可不是所有人都能来到这世上哦 -不 |
| [05:44] | I can’t get over how handsome you look now. | 你现在真是帅的没天理 |
| [05:46] | Thank you. You are the eighth most attractive woman | 谢谢 你是今天我见过的女人中 |
| [05:49] | I’ve seen today. | 第八美的 |
| [05:50] | I arrested seven supermodels. | 我逮捕了七个超模 |
| [05:53] | I mean prostitutes. | 我是说 妓女 |
| [05:55] | Of all the women who are not supermodel-prostitutes, | 除开些不是超模妓女的人 |
| [05:57] | you are the most attractive. | 你是最美的 |
| [06:00] | How about I give you a little kiss? | 我亲你一下可以吗 |
| [06:01] | For free, right? | 不用交钱的是吗 |
| [06:03] | You zapped me! | 你电我 |
| [06:05] | This is how you throw a shrimp. | 虾得这么扔 |
| [06:09] | – We’ve met before. – I know! | -我们以前见过 -是啊 |
| [06:11] | That’s why, when I saw you, | 不然我之前干嘛要说 |
| [06:12] | I said, “Hey, it’s you!” | “是你啊” |
| [06:13] | You can say that to anyone. | 对谁都可以那么说 |
| [06:14] | It’s always true. | 总不会错 |
| [06:16] | What happened to you? | 发生什么事啦 |
| [06:17] | I don’t know, but I have some questions. | 我不知道 但我有疑问 |
| [06:20] | Robo ‘Stache had some questions. | 机器胡有疑问 |
| [06:22] | Who is Bob Belcher? | 鲍勃·贝尔彻是谁 |
| [06:23] | His name is written in my underwear. | 我内裤上印着他的名字 |
| [06:25] | Bob Belcher? He’s one of your parts. | 鲍勃·贝尔彻 是你的一部分 |
| [06:27] | Like a screw, but not as fancy as a screw. | 类似一颗螺钉 不过并没有螺钉酷炫 |
| [06:30] | You mind turning the voltage down on the mustache? | 你能把他胡子上的电压调小点吗 |
| [06:33] | It’s like making out with a wall socket. | 我感觉就像在和插座亲嘴一样 |
| [06:34] | It’s hardwired to his brain. | 他的胡须和大脑相连 |
| [06:36] | If we do that, I don’t know what’ll happen, | 如果调小电压 我不知道会发生什么 |
| [06:37] | except that his brain will explode, | 不过可以确定他的大脑会爆掉 |
| [06:39] | so power down, or…? | 要调小吗 |
| [06:40] | What?! That’s horrible! | 什么 太可怕了 |
| [06:41] | If you don’t like it, | 如果有意见 |
| [06:42] | take it up with Mr. Fischoeder. | 就去找费舍奥德先生 |
| [06:43] | He owns the cops. | 他是警察的头 |
| [06:44] | He’s, uh, not here right now, | 他现在不在 |
| [06:46] | but there’s a tiny model of him. | 不过那边有个他的小模型 |
| [06:48] | “Wonder Wharfopolis?” | “奇幻码头游乐园” |
| [06:49] | Mr. Fischoeder’s dream. | 那是费舍奥德先生的梦想 |
| [06:51] | Picture this town. | 想象这座小镇 |
| [06:52] | Now picture it gone completely. | 现在想象它消失掉 |
| [06:54] | Then picture a giant amusement park as big as a town. | 再想象一座一样大的游乐场 |
| [06:57] | Where will people live? | 那居民住哪里 |
| [06:57] | The people are in the way! | 居民是绊脚石 |
| [06:59] | That’s why we made Tin Lip over here. | 所以我们才要建这组织 |
| [07:00] | to drive people out with nitpicky policing! | 故意找茬把居民都赶出去 |
| [07:03] | The police are just goons for Mr. Fischoeder?! | 警察都是费舍奥德先生的暴徒 |
| [07:05] | Officer Bosco, you’re under arr-rr… | 博斯柯警官 你已被… |
| [07:09] | the hidden Secret Fourth Directive: | 隐藏的秘密第四指令 |
| [07:11] | “Never arrest Officer Bosco.” | “不可逮捕博斯柯警官” |
| [07:13] | Oh, that was smart to put in there. | 你们可真够聪明的 |
| [07:14] | Mr. F. Thinks of everything. | 费先生考虑周全 |
| [07:16] | He’s a handsome genius. | 他是个英俊的天才 |
| [07:17] | One more thing. | 还有一件事 |
| [07:18] | Not only do I work for Mr. Fischoeder. | 我不仅为费舍奥德工作 |
| [07:21] | I am Mr. Fischoeder. | 我就是费舍奥德 |
| [07:24] | He shouldn’t have done that. | 他不该露脸的 |
| [07:25] | Now Robo ‘Stache can arrest him! | 现在机器胡可以逮捕他了 |
| [07:27] | Good, Father, good. | 不错 老爸 不错 |
| [07:28] | Mr. Fischoeder, you’re under arrest. | 费舍奥德先生 你被逮捕了 |
| [07:31] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [07:32] | Did I not put in | 我没有编入”不可逮捕 |
| [07:33] | – “Never arrest Mr. Fischoeder”? – No. | 费舍奥德先生”的指令吗 －没 |
| [07:35] | Well, let me just pop this Bosco mask back on and, | 那让我把面具再戴回去 |
| [07:39] | Let’s talk, man to… mm, cyborg. | 我们谈谈吧 男人与 机器人之间 |
| [07:41] | What-what if I could give you a robotic ding-dong? | 我真给你装机器蛋蛋如何 |
| [07:44] | No bugs. | 一定没BUG |
| [07:45] | – Interesting. – No, thank you. | -有点意思 －不了 谢谢 |
| [07:47] | In that case, I’ll have to keep my robo eye on you. | 既然这样 我就得亮出我的电子眼了 |
| [07:52] | The battle was intense. | 战况激烈 |
| [07:53] | It was like Terminator versus Roomba. | 堪比终结者对战扫地机器人 |
| [07:55] | Laser beam! | 镭射光 |
| [07:56] | – Eye scissors! – Tear gas! | -眼光剪 -催泪瓦斯 |
| [07:58] | – Stink eye! – Toothpick! | -臭气眼 -牙签 |
| [07:59] | – Pink eye! – Melon baller! | -粉红眼 -挖球器 |
| [08:01] | But Robo couldn’t handle the big Fisch. | 但机器胡最终难敌费舍奥德 |
| [08:04] | The pupil becomes the master! | 竟敢以下犯上 |
| [08:08] | System error. | 系统错误 |
| [08:10] | Contact Mustache Administrator. | 联系胡须系统管理员 |
| [08:13] | Brain explosion any second… | 大脑马上就会爆炸 |
| [08:16] | Actually, I think I’m fi… | 我好像没… |
| [08:18] | Oh, God. | 哎哟 |
| [08:19] | Brain explosion hurts so much. | 大脑爆炸原来这么疼 |
| [08:21] | It’s like getting water up your nose, but worse. | 好像从鼻子里灌水 比那更糟 |
| [08:23] | Let’s get this back on. | 我帮你把它装回去 |
| [08:25] | One more time. | 再来 |
| [08:27] | Now I got it. | 这次可以了 |
| [08:28] | That’s upside down. | 反了 |
| [08:29] | How about you just keep it? | 你留着吧 |
| [08:30] | Oh, I don’t really have a place for it. | 我那没地方放 |
| [08:32] | Well, it’s my dying wish, so… | 这是我的遗愿 |
| [08:35] | I guess I could put it on my pet cactus | 那我把它放在我的仙人掌上 |
| [08:36] | so it looks like my cactus has a mustache. | 让我的仙人掌看起来也像长了胡子 |
| [08:39] | Can you imagine?! | 你能想象出来吗 |
| [08:41] | Oh, you’re dead. | 你已经死了 |
| [08:42] | Dad was dead. | 老爸死了 |
| [08:43] | And his mustache was on a cactus. | 他的胡须被放在了仙人掌上 |
| [08:45] | And that is what would’ve happened | 一定会是这样 |
| [08:47] | definitely for sure. | 一定 |
| [08:49] | It really makes you think about stuff. | 还真是发人深省 |
| [08:50] | No, Dad wouldn’t die. | 不 老爸不会死的 |
| [08:51] | Mom and Dad would end up together! | 老爸老妈会在一起 |
| [08:53] | Also, if they arrested everyone, | 而且如果那些警察抓了所有人 |
| [08:54] | who would go to the amusement park? | 谁去游乐园呢 |
| [08:56] | German tourists. | 德国游客 |
| [08:57] | Hey, Dad, I found something here. | 老爸 我找到了些理论 |
| [08:59] | “Loss of facial hair can be caused by testicular failure.” | “睾丸衰竭可能导致面部毛发减少” |
| [09:03] | Testicular failure? | 睾丸衰竭 |
| [09:04] | Gee, even your testicles are failures. | 天 你连睾丸都衰竭[失败]了 |
| [09:06] | They’re trying. | 它们也很努力的好吗 |
| [09:07] | Let’s just change the subject, please. | 换个话题吧 |
| [09:09] | Sure. Sports? What are they? | 好 聊聊运动 运动到底是啥玩意儿 |
| [09:11] | I know what would have happened | 我知道如果爸妈相遇时 |
| [09:12] | if Dad met Mom without a mustache, | 老爸没胡子会怎么样 |
| [09:14] | and it’s even more tragic. | 这个故事甚至更悲伤 |
| [09:16] | Guys, why are we doing this? | 我们这是在干什么 |
| [09:17] | Mom and Dad would always, always end up together. | 老爸老妈最后总会在一起的 |
| [09:20] | Shh, Tina. | 嘘 蒂娜 |
| [09:21] | Love at first sight is a powerful thing | 一见钟情对当事人来说 |
| [09:24] | between two people. | 是很强大的东西 |
| [09:25] | This is how you throw a shrimp! | 虾得这么扔 |
| [09:27] | Hi. I’m Bob. | 嗨 我叫鲍勃 |
| [09:28] | But usually one of those people will not be into it. | 但通常其中一人会没感觉 |
| [09:31] | Hi. I’m not into it. | 嗨 我对你没感觉 |
| [09:32] | And then it’s not powerful at all. | 这样就一点都不强大了 |
| [09:34] | Just sad. | 很悲伤 |
| [09:35] | And I’m semi-happily engaged. | 而且我已经半推半就地订婚了 |
| [09:37] | But Mom at least had some advice for Dad. | 不过至少老妈给了老爸一些建议 |
| [09:39] | Look, I’m gonna be blunt. | 我就直说了 |
| [09:40] | You’re a butter lip. | 你的嘴太光滑了 |
| [09:41] | – You need a little face candy. – Cocaine? | -得有点修饰 -可卡因吗 |
| [09:43] | No I’m talking about a mustache. | 不 我说的是胡子 |
| [09:45] | You know the saying. | 俗话说 |
| [09:46] | A gentleman down south, but a bad boy above the mouth? | 南方来的是绅士 有胡子的是坏小子 |
| [09:49] | I don’t know that saying, | 我没听过这俗话 |
| [09:51] | but if I had a mustache, you’d be into it? | 如果我有胡子了 你就有感觉了吗 |
| [09:53] | Yeah, maybe, but it doesn’t matter. | 也许吧 不过不重要 |
| [09:54] | I’m only in town for one night, and I’m pretty sure | 我只在这里呆一晚 而你绝不可能 |
| [09:56] | you can’t grow a mustache in 24 hours, so, bye. | 在一天内蓄起胡须 所以拜拜 |
| [09:59] | A smarter man would have known | 明眼的都会知道 |
| [10:00] | he was getting the brush-off, | 这是没戏了 |
| [10:01] | but Dad was so hooked on her, and so stupid, | 但老爸太喜欢她 而且也太蠢 |
| [10:04] | he took it as a challenge. | 他把这话当成了挑战 |
| [10:06] | Dad tried everything. | 老爸试了各种方法 |
| [10:07] | He rubbed. | 他擦 |
| [10:09] | He glued. | 粘 |
| [10:11] | He sprayed. | 喷 |
| [10:13] | There was only one thing left to try– | 到最后只剩一种方法了 |
| [10:15] | a wish. | 许愿 |
| [10:18] | I wish I had a must… | 我希望我能长胡 |
| [10:20] | – Out of order, buddy! – Oh, no! | -这玩意坏了 -别啊 |
| [10:21] | The swami’s hand’s on the fritz. | 法师的手出故障了 |
| [10:23] | His middle finger keeps popping up. | 他的中指一直跳起来 |
| [10:24] | Not what people are looking for. | 其他人看到不太开心 |
| [10:26] | Well, then, can you grant me a wish? | 那你能准我一个愿望吗 |
| [10:28] | I’m not really qualified. | 我不是很有资格 |
| [10:29] | I mean, I’m just the repair guy. I… | 我只是维修员 |
| [10:31] | Look, it’s an emergency! | 我真的很急 |
| [10:32] | All right, uh, I’ll do it, | 好吧 那来吧 |
| [10:34] | but if you wish my clothes off, I’m gonna be mad. | 但如果你许愿让我脱衣服 我会生气的 |
| [10:36] | I-I wish I had a mustache. | 我希望我有胡子 |
| [10:38] | your wish is granted. | 你的心愿实现了 |
| [10:39] | Great, thank you. | 太好了 谢谢你 |
| [10:40] | All right, no guarantees on that. | 好啦 不能保证成功哦 |
| [10:42] | Bad swami. | 坏法师 |
| [10:44] | At first, nothing happened. | 一开始 一切如常 |
| [10:46] | What was I thinking? | 我在想什么呀 |
| [10:47] | And then… | 之后… |
| [10:52] | You sweet, magical, fortune-teller repairman. | 爱死你了 魔力占卜机修理工 |
| [10:57] | It’s real. How’d you do it? | 是真的 你怎么弄的 |
| [10:58] | Don’t worry about the past. | 过去的事已经不重要了 |
| [10:59] | Let’s just talk about our future. | 我们来谈谈我们的未来 |
| [11:02] | you got a little soul patch, too. | 你下巴上又长了一小撮 |
| [11:04] | so I do. | 确实是 |
| [11:05] | And kind of a unibrow, how’d I miss that? | 还有点连心眉 我刚刚都没发现呢 |
| [11:07] | Giant muttonchops and knuckle afros | 巨大的络腮胡 爆炸头 |
| [11:10] | and a bushel of hair coming out of both ears. | 从耳朵里也在往外冒 |
| [11:13] | And your nose, too. | 还有你的鼻子也是 |
| [11:14] | okay, so should we order? | 好了 我们点菜吧 |
| [11:15] | – Oh, I’m gonna throw up. – What? | -我要吐了 -什么 |
| [11:17] | Waiter! | 服务员 |
| [11:20] | So I’m like a werewolf? | 所以是和狼人差不多吗 |
| [11:22] | That’s kind of fun, kind of cool. | 还挺有意思 挺酷呢 |
| [11:23] | No, you just have uncontrollable hair growth everywhere. | 不 你只是浑身毛发疯长 |
| [11:26] | That’s not really… that’s just uncomfortable. | 并不是…真让人发毛 |
| [11:29] | – Yeah. – Don’t worry, Dad. | -对 -别担心了 老爸 |
| [11:31] | When you’re destined to be together, | 当你们命中注定在一起时 |
| [11:32] | uncontrollable hair growth | 无论头发怎么失控疯长 |
| [11:33] | can’t stop uncontrollable love growth. | 也阻挡不了爱意的滋生 |
| [11:35] | Shush, shush, Mom was super grossed out, | 嘘 嘘 老妈感觉超级恶心 |
| [11:37] | so Dad needed to unwish his wish fast, | 于是老爸就得撤回愿望 |
| [11:40] | but… | 但是… |
| [11:41] | Oh, crap, the machine’s gone. | 我去 机器没了 |
| [11:43] | I’m stuck like this forever. | 我一辈子都要这副鬼样了 |
| [11:44] | Dad was devastated. | 老爸悲痛欲绝 |
| [11:46] | He slumped away, hairily. | 他很失落地 带着一身毛走开了 |
| [11:48] | Bob, wait; you’re a good man, | 鲍勃 等等 你是个好人 |
| [11:50] | and you did this for me. | 你做这一切都是为了我 |
| [11:51] | Let’s try to make it work. | 我来帮你 |
| [11:52] | Are you still gagging? | 你还是想吐吗 |
| [12:02] | There you are. | 这才是你 |
| [12:04] | There he is. | 你又回来啦 |
| [12:05] | You want to see? | 想看看吗 |
| [12:06] | Oh, so that was a lot of work for nothing. | 竟然完全是无用功 |
| [12:08] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [12:09] | Maybe we should just go for a walk. | 也许我们该出去走走 |
| [12:11] | You wanna go for a walk? | 你想出去走走吗 |
| [12:12] | Do ya? Do you wanna go? | 想吗 要去吗 |
| [12:14] | Can you not say it like that? | 你能不那样说话吗 |
| [12:16] | He’s excited. | 有人兴奋咯 |
| [12:17] | He heard the “W” Word. | 因为听到了”想”字 |
| [12:19] | I’m a little excited, but please stop. | 我是有一点点兴奋 但求你别那样了 |
| [12:21] | For a moment there, | 有那么一刻 |
| [12:21] | it seemed like they had it all figured out. | 他们似乎感觉适应了 |
| [12:23] | Hey, hair ball, put it in a ponytail, right?! | 毛球 好歹绑个马尾行吗 |
| [12:26] | You’re shedding all over the sidewalk! | 人行道上都全是你掉的毛 |
| [12:29] | Shake it off. | 别管他们 |
| [12:29] | Let’s pick up the pace a little, come on. | 我们加快点速度 来 |
| [12:31] | Cool…. | 酷 |
| [12:32] | You see, that guy gets it. | 你看 有人认可呢 |
| [12:34] | I love it, but society will never accept you… | 我很喜欢 可社会绝不会接受你的 |
| [12:38] | He’s right. | 他说的对 |
| [12:39] | What kind of future could I give you? | 我能给你什么样的未来 |
| [12:40] | What can I do with my life, looking like this? | 我这样子 生活还有什么指望 |
| [12:43] | You could, | 你可以… |
| [12:49] | So I thought I would be an excellent freak | 所以我认为我很适合 |
| [12:51] | in your freak show. | 出演你的怪咖秀 |
| [12:54] | Any, uh, qualifications? | 你有什么证书吗 |
| [12:56] | I’m… I’m covered in hair. | 我…已经浑身是毛了 |
| [12:59] | – Education? – What? | -学历呢 -什么 |
| [13:00] | Education? | 学历 |
| [13:02] | I… Yes, Dartmouth. | 我…达特茅斯学院 |
| [13:04] | I’m sorry, I lied. | 抱歉 我骗你的 |
| [13:05] | I panicked and I lied. | 我很紧张所以说了假话 |
| [13:06] | – I see. – Harvard. | -我明白 -其实是哈佛 |
| [13:08] | Oh. I lied again, I don’t… | 我又说了谎 我并没… |
| [13:09] | I… I didn’t go to college. | 我没上过大学 |
| [13:10] | So you thought you could just grow your hair a little | 所以你以为凭着毛发长得快 |
| [13:13] | and jump into the freak business, did you? | 就能来怪咖秀混了 是吗 |
| [13:15] | These people are professionals. | 我们的人可都是专业的 |
| [13:17] | They are trained. | 都受过专门训练 |
| [13:18] | Can you hang bricks from your nipples? | 你胸口碎大石么 |
| [13:20] | I… I-I don’t think I can. | 我觉得不太行 |
| [13:22] | You would know. | 不要太快下结论 |
| [13:23] | I’m sorry I wasted your time. | 抱歉浪费您时间了 |
| [13:25] | You know what, you’re hired. | 不 你被录用了 |
| [13:26] | Wait, that’s… that’s great. | 等下 真的…是太棒了 |
| [13:27] | You go on in ten minutes. | 十分钟后上台 |
| [13:28] | Get the hair dryer! We need a blowout! | 拿吹风机来 给他整个造型 |
| [13:31] | Dad lived out the rest of his life as a freak. | 老爸就这样当了一辈子怪胎 |
| [13:31] | 奇幻码头 野人 | |
| [13:33] | Mom developed an allergy and left him | 老妈出现了过敏 离开了他 |
| [13:35] | and became a nun, ’cause she thought | 成了一个修女 她以为 |
| [13:37] | it would be like Sister Act. | 自己会像《修女也疯狂》里一样 |
| [13:38] | It wasn’t, and they kicked her out. | 然而并没有 他们把她赶了出去 |
| [13:39] | Now she’s in jail. The end. | 最后她进了监狱 全剧终 |
| [13:42] | So I have even less dignity in that story. | 就是说我在那个故事里更没尊严了 |
| [13:44] | So that’s the one we’ll accept as true. | 所以这才更像是真的 |
| [13:46] | That’s what would have happened. | 原本就会这么发展 |
| [13:47] | Dad, great news; there’s a treatment | 老爸 好消息 针对你的中年危机 |
| [13:49] | for your midlife problems: a mustache transplant. | 我找到一个应付办法 植胡须 |
| [13:52] | “Let our talented doctors take follicles | 由我们的植发专家 |
| [13:53] | 彰显毛发 毛发移植诊所 | |
| [13:54] | “From a hairier part of your body | 从你身上毛发较浓密的地方取发 |
| [13:56] | and surgically implant them on your lip.” | 用手术种植到你嘴唇上 |
| [13:58] | I’m not doing that. | 我才不做那个 |
| [13:59] | But you’re the perfect candidate. | 但你是最佳人选 |
| [14:00] | You have hair everywhere! | 你到处都是毛 |
| [14:02] | Back-stache, belly-stache. | 背毛 腹毛 |
| [14:03] | Hello? Butt-stache! | 最重要的咋不说 屁屁毛 |
| [14:05] | Can we just…? | 能不能… |
| [14:06] | Let Tina have the floor finally? | 能让蒂娜发言了吗 |
| [14:07] | Yes, because I know that | 好的 因为我知道 |
| [14:09] | even if there’s no mustache that night, | 就算那晚没有胡须 |
| [14:11] | Mom and Dad would still fall in love | 妈和爸仍会在命运的指引下 |
| [14:12] | because of fate, which is great! Remember?! | 坠入爱河的 命运让人幸运 记得吗 |
| [14:15] | This is how you throw a shrimp! | 虾得这么扔 |
| [14:23] | Done. They’re in love. | 就这样 他们相爱了 |
| [14:24] | Everyone got that? Everyone clear? | 大家听懂没 有问题吗 |
| [14:26] | that doesn’t sound right. | 这听着不太对 |
| [14:28] | Yeah, Dad makes a weird noise when he’s hurt, | 就是嘛 老爸受伤时会发出怪声 |
| [14:30] | and it’s not attractive to women or anyone. | 吸引不了任何人 |
| [14:32] | It scares cats. | 连猫都会给吓到 |
| [14:34] | Yeah. | 说得对 |
| [14:35] | okay, maybe they start out a little rocky. | 好吧 也许他们一开始有点看对方不顺眼 |
| [14:38] | Hey, crazy arms, take your crazy-arm medication! | 你胳膊抽了吧 赶紧回去吃药 |
| [14:41] | Looks like you took too much of your medication. | 我看你才是药吃多了吧 |
| [14:43] | Call your doctor | 如果你有下列症状 |
| [14:43] | if you experience any of these symptoms. | 赶紧看医生去吧 |
| [14:45] | Ugly face, dumb face, dumb breath, | 丑脸 蠢样 口气 |
| [14:48] | donkey neck, weird legs. | 驴脖 畸形腿 |
| [14:49] | Weird legs? | 畸形腿吗 |
| [14:50] | Only from the waist down. | 就从你腰部以下算 |
| [14:52] | now that they’ve gotten all that off their chests, | 在他们一吐心中不快后 |
| [14:54] | sparks are ready to fly. | 爱的火花就要开始四溅了 |
| [14:56] | Oh, boy. | 我的天 |
| [14:57] | I don’t think this is getting back on track, T. | 我可不认为都这样了还能溅火花 蒂娜 |
| [14:59] | No, it does. Fate! Destiny! | 怎么不会 这是命运 是天意 |
| [15:01] | Let’s get married and have three kids | 我们结婚吧然后生三个小孩 |
| [15:03] | and live together forever! | 永远幸福地生活在一起 |
| [15:04] | Okay. | 好呀 |
| [15:05] | Completely unbelievable. | 一点都没说服力 |
| [15:07] | Yeah, I don’t think so, Tina. | 就是 太瞎了 蒂娜 |
| [15:09] | that’s not the Linda I know. | 我认识的琳达才不会那样 |
| [15:10] | Oh, my God, you’re right. | 天呐 你们说的对 |
| [15:12] | Dad would have walked out, | 老爸会一走了之 |
| [15:12] | and they would have been out of each other’s lives. | 然后他们会远离彼此的生活 |
| [15:14] | -And then… -Wha-What? What? | -之后… -什么 什么 |
| [15:17] | What?! | 咋了 |
| [15:18] | It’s bad! It’s bad! | 太糟了 糟透了 |
| [15:19] | Maybe you’re just telling it bad? | 你确定不是你故事讲得太糟么 |
| [15:20] | Don’t you see?! | 还不明白吗 |
| [15:22] | If Mom and Dad don’t get together, | 如果老妈和老爸没在一起 |
| [15:23] | Mom’s engagement to Hugo is never broken! | 妈和雨果的订婚就不会告吹 |
| [15:27] | Are we ready, darling? | 准备好了吗 亲爱的 |
| [15:29] | So, we’re actually doing this? | 所以我们真的要结婚了 |
| [15:30] | Of course! | 当然 |
| [15:31] | This isn’t the rehearsal anymore? | 不是彩排了吼 |
| [15:32] | This is the… the thing? | 这是…真的结婚了 |
| [15:34] | Hugo grows a mustache for the wedding. | 雨果为婚礼蓄了胡须 |
| [15:35] | It’s bushy, and it has it going on. | 很浓密 变很帅气 |
| [15:37] | No! | 不要 |
| [15:38] | It gets worse. | 还要更糟 |
| [15:39] | They have three children– Mona, | 他们有了三个孩子 莫娜 |
| [15:42] | Dean and Charlize. | 迪恩 夏丽姿 |
| [15:43] | And because Mom never breaks up with Hugo, | 因为老妈没和雨果分手 |
| [15:45] | he never suffers the tragic heartbreak | 所以他不也会承受心碎的打击 |
| [15:46] | that turned him into a health inspector. | 成为卫生督察员 |
| [15:48] | So he’s happy, and he pursues his dream of opening… | 现在他很幸福 还如愿开了一间 |
| [15:51] | a restaurant. | 餐馆 |
| [15:53] | Big day today. It’s a holiday weekend. | 今天是个大日子 周末啦 |
| [15:55] | All right, let’s sell some hot dogs! | 好 开始卖热狗吧 |
| [15:58] | I got it all, baby! | 我真是啥都拥有了 宝贝 |
| [15:59] | three kids and a mustache! Nothing missing! | 三个孩子和胡须老公 再无所求 |
| [16:01] | Big day for another reason, too, right, Linda? | 今天是大日子还有另一个原因 对吧琳达 |
| [16:04] | It’s May 5. 5/5. | 今天是五月五号 五五 |
| [16:06] | Oh, yeah, your height! | 对哦 是你的身高 |
| [16:07] | Yes, my height! | 对 我的身高 |
| [16:08] | Also, Cinco de Mayo! | 也是五五节[墨西哥传统爱国主义节日] |
| [16:09] | Also, our anniversary! | 也是我们的结婚纪念日 |
| [16:11] | Right, we got married! | 对哦 我们都结婚了呢 |
| [16:12] | I’m so happy. No lingering regret at all! | 好开心 我一点都不后悔 |
| [16:15] | Thank you for the best anniversary! All of you! | 你们就是我最棒的纪念日礼物 你们全是 |
| [16:18] | You’re my children, and you’re all wonderful. | 你们是我的孩子 你们都好棒 |
| [16:20] | You, Mona, with your appropriate level of interest in boys. | 你 莫娜 对男孩的关心刚好合适 |
| [16:24] | Boys? Shrug. What else you got? | 男孩 没劲 还有更酷的么 |
| [16:26] | And don’t say horses. | 别跟我提马 |
| [16:27] | And Dean, my little man. | 迪恩 我的好小子 |
| [16:29] | If only I could pull you out of your shell! | 你要是能脱下那套龟壳一样的服装就完美了 |
| [16:32] | Dad, please! Stop paying attention to me. | 老爸 拜托 别再把焦点放我身上了 |
| [16:34] | I can’t bear the spotlight! | 我最受不了被人注目了 |
| [16:35] | Sorry for screaming. | 抱歉对你吼了 |
| [16:36] | And little Charlize, with your stickers | 还有我的小夏丽姿 看你那贴纸 |
| [16:39] | and your princess dolls. Could you be any sweeter? | 和公主装扮 你还能再可爱一点吗 |
| [16:41] | Well, is there anything else I can do | 我还能做点别的什么 |
| [16:43] | to help the family business? | 来给家里的生意帮忙吗 |
| [16:44] | Give us a twirl! | 给我们转一圈吧 |
| [16:46] | You’re a monster. | 你是魔鬼 |
| [16:48] | It’s not me, don’t you see? | 这不是我决定的 你不懂吗 |
| [16:49] | It’s what would have happened! | 事实就会是这样 |
| [16:50] | And now your mother and I are going downstairs | 现在我要和你们的母亲去楼下 |
| [16:53] | – to stuff the sausage. – Gross. | -灌香肠了 -好恶心 |
| [16:55] | Okay, that’s enough. | 我不想再听了 |
| [16:56] | I wish it was, Dad, but there’s more. | 我也希望到此为止 老爸 但还没完 |
| [16:58] | Since you never fell in love with Mom, | 既然你没有和老妈坠入爱河 |
| [17:00] | your life was different, too! | 你的人生也不一样了 |
| [17:01] | Hugo’s Hot Dogs, here we are. | 开心热狗店 就是这了 |
| [17:03] | You coming, partner? | 你要来吗 搭档 |
| [17:04] | Yes, I’m coming, Ron! | 我要来 罗恩 |
| [17:06] | I have to. I’m a health inspector! | 我必须得来 我可是卫生检查员 |
| [17:08] | It’s my job! | 这是我的工作 |
| [17:11] | Free samples! Put your hands on a wiener! | 免费试吃哦 来嘛 拿个香肠嘛 |
| [17:13] | No double entendre intended! | 不是说我身上长的那个哦 |
| [17:15] | Hey, I know this building. | 我知道这栋楼 |
| [17:17] | I tried to rent it 20 years ago, | 我20年前本来想租它的 |
| [17:18] | but somebody got in just ahead of me. | 但被人捷足先登了 |
| [17:20] | Oh, and then didn’t you go on | 然后你又试了很多家 |
| [17:21] | to have a series of failed restaurants? | 全失败了 有没有 |
| [17:23] | Yeah. Thanks, Ron. | 我谢谢你 罗恩 |
| [17:25] | Mona, honey, Jimmy Junior’s on the phone. | 莫娜 亲爱的 小吉米找你 |
| [17:27] | He wants to take you to the new zombie movie tonight. | 他想约你今晚去看新出的僵尸电影 |
| [17:30] | Jimmy Junior? Zombies? | 小吉米 僵尸 |
| [17:32] | Maybe in a parallel universe. | 或许在另一个平行时空还有点可能 |
| [17:34] | Hello, we’re here to inspect you. | 你们好 我们是来检查的 |
| [17:37] | Whee! I’m Princess Spins-around! | 你们好 我是转圈圈公主 |
| [17:39] | That doesn’t sound like a real princess. | 有这种公主么 |
| [17:41] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
| [17:42] | I… Sir? Ma’am? | 先生 女士 |
| [17:44] | Oh, sweetheart, please, please! | 甜心 乖 乖 |
| [17:45] | I don’t like him! | 我不喜欢他 |
| [17:46] | Hey, I know you from somewhere. | 我好像见过你 |
| [17:49] | Ugly face, dumb face, donkey neck, weird legs! | 你是”丑脸驴脖畸形腿” |
| [17:53] | Crazy arms, right? How are you? | 那你就是”飞毛手”咯 你过得好吗 |
| [17:55] | Well, we have to check something out. | 我们来是要检查一样东西 |
| [17:57] | There’s a rumor that you make your wieners | 有传闻说你们 |
| [17:58] | out of actual wiener dogs. | 用腊肠犬做腊肠 |
| [18:01] | I mean, it’s obviously false, but… | 我知道 这说法明显很扯 但… |
| [18:03] | No, it’s true. | 不 是真的 |
| [18:05] | What?! Hugo! | 什么 雨果 |
| [18:07] | Sorry, is that not the gourmet way to make wieners? | 可是 大厨不都这么做腊肠的么 |
| [18:10] | Why didn’t I know about this? | 我怎么一直都不知道 |
| [18:11] | In my defense, the pet mortuary | 我要为自己说句话 给我供应食材的 |
| [18:13] | I get the dog meat from is very respected! | 那家宠物太平间评价很高的 |
| [18:15] | – Got to go. – Bye, Mort! | -我闪了 -拜 莫特 |
| [18:16] | You don’t know me! | 别说你认识我 |
| [18:17] | Hugo, I’ve been eating a real wiener dog every day? | 雨果 我每天吃的都是真的腊肠犬吗 |
| [18:20] | Now I don’t even know if I can finish this one. | 我不确定我还能不能吃完这个 |
| [18:22] | Nope, I can. | 是的 我能 |
| [18:23] | I guess this is for you. | 看来我得给你们贴这个了 |
| [18:25] | 歇业 腊肠含腊肠犬肉 | |
| [18:27] | Hugo, let me talk to him. | 雨果 让我跟他谈谈 |
| [18:28] | Maybe I can smooth this over. | 也许我能搞定他 |
| [18:30] | Who likes milkshakes for free? | 谁要喝免费的奶昔啊 |
| [18:32] | No dog in it. | 没用狗肉做哦 |
| [18:33] | It’s chocolate, not chocolate lab. | 用的巧克力 不是巧克力色拉布拉多 |
| [18:35] | I’m not into… puns. | 我不喜欢…双关 |
| [18:38] | Oh, you got a little chocolate mustache. | 哟 你长巧克力胡子了 |
| [18:40] | Oh. No, kind of looks… nice, actually. | 别 还…挺好看的 |
| [18:44] | I just got the weirdest feeling inside. | 我刚刚心里有种很奇怪的感觉 |
| [18:46] | Could be salmonella. | 也许是沙门氏菌作怪 |
| [18:46] | That’s what most weird feelings inside are. | 大多数奇怪的内心感觉罪魁祸首都是它 |
| [18:48] | No, it’s like, uh… | 不 感觉像是… |
| [18:50] | something got on the wrong track… | 有什么东西在很久以前 |
| [18:52] | a long time ago. | 就错轨了 |
| [18:54] | It could also be diarrhea. | 也有可能是腹泻 |
| [18:56] | Come on, Ron. | 走吧 罗恩 |
| [18:57] | Let’s blow this hot dog stand. | 我们把这热狗店给封了 |
| [18:59] | I get it. | 好咧 |
| [18:59] | Bye, Mr. Health Inspectors! | 再会 卫生检查员叔叔 |
| [19:01] | – I admire you both. – Bye. | -你俩都是我的榜样 -再见 |
| [19:03] | Come on, Ron! | 给我出来 |
| [19:05] | That’s what would have happened. | 就会变成那样一个世界 |
| [19:06] | Tina, you got dark, girl. | 蒂娜 你变坏了 |
| [19:08] | You got real dark. | 你真的变坏了 |
| [19:09] | That was… disturbing. | 真让人不安 |
| [19:11] | I need to go lie down. | 我得去躺躺 |
| [19:12] | I kind of want a hot dog. | 我有点想吃热狗了 |
| [19:14] | So, that’s it. | 就是这样了 |
| [19:15] | There’s no such thing as fate. | 根本没有所谓的命中注定 |
| [19:17] | Everything is randomness and chaos! | 一切都是随机和混乱的 |
| [19:19] | A meteorite could crash into our house any second! | 陨石随时有可能砸向我们的房子 |
| [19:21] | Any second. | 随时 |
| [19:22] | No one is meant for anyone! | 没有谁与谁注定是一对 |
| [19:23] | Not a soul! | 一对儿也没有 |
| [19:24] | Tina, honey, it’s okay, it’s okay. | 亲爱的蒂娜 没事的 没事 |
| [19:26] | Everything is random, | 世间万物本来就是随机的 |
| [19:28] | but that’s what makes life so wonderful. | 但那也正是生命的魅力所在啊 |
| [19:30] | Sometimes all the crap in the universe lines up, | 有时会有一连串不可思议的事发生 |
| [19:32] | like that night I met your father. | 就像我遇见你老爸那晚 |
| [19:34] | Or like the time I petted that dog and found a Cheeto. | 就像那次我刚养了只狗就找到一只奇多猫 |
| [19:36] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [19:37] | Everything lined up, and it came out Belcher. | 很多事凑在一起 才有了贝尔彻一家 |
| [19:40] | How beautiful is that? | 这难道不美吗 |
| [19:41] | I mean, look at Gene. | 你看看吉恩 |
| [19:42] | Okay, don’t look at Gene. | 算了 别看吉恩 |
| [19:44] | It’s because my pants are off, isn’t it? | 是因为我没穿裤子吗 |
| [19:45] | I’m getting ready to exercise, | 我是准备做运动呢 |
| [19:47] | and I don’t want to sweat all over my Saturday shorts. | 我可不想让我的周六指定短裤上面全是汗 |
| [19:49] | Tina, what your mother is saying is, | 蒂娜 你老妈的意思是 |
| [19:51] | maybe we weren’t meant to be together, | 就算我们不是注定要在一起 |
| [19:53] | but we are together. | 但我们确实在一起了啊 |
| [19:54] | No, that’s not what I was saying. | 我不是那个意思 |
| [19:55] | Well, I mean, I… what I… I meant that in a good way. | 我…我…我是想帮你说话的 |
| [19:57] | – Bob. – Yeah. – Wait. I get it. | -鲍勃 -怎么 -等等 我懂了 |
| [19:59] | It was random fate that brought you together. | 是随机的命运让你们走到了一起 |
| [20:01] | Fate is real. It’s just really random. No. | 所以是有命运的 只是很随机而已 |
| [20:04] | It makes perfect sense. I feel so much better. | 完全正确 我感觉好多了 |
| [20:05] | Okay, then, that’s what it is. | 嗯对 就是你说的那样 |
| [20:06] | Great talk, everybody. | 很高兴和你们聊天 各位 |
| [20:08] | This seat hurts my private parts! | 这座位弄的我私处好痛哦 |
| [20:10] | who am I kidding? | 我骗谁呢 |
| [20:11] | They’re not that private. | 我的私处从来都不”私” |
| [20:12] | Wait. Oh, my God, that’s it! | 等等 天呐 就是它 |
| [20:14] | – What? What is? – The bike! | -啥 啥 -自行车 |
| [20:15] | Testicular failure! | 睪丸衰竭啊 |
| [20:16] | I’ve been giving it to myself | 是我自行车 |
| [20:17] | by riding the bike so much! | 骑得太多了 |
| [20:19] | It’s been squeezing your tchotchkes, | 它在挤你的蛋蛋 |
| [20:20] | and you didn’t notice that? | 你都没感觉吗 |
| [20:21] | I guess I didn’t notice it over | 我估计是因为 |
| [20:22] | how much everything else hurt. | 我身体其它部分都比那儿痛 |
| [20:24] | But the results are fantastic. Look at you! | 但效果很好啊 看看你 |
| [20:27] | I bet if I stop riding that thing, | 我相信是要我不再骑那玩意儿 |
| [20:28] | my mustache will grow back! | 我的胡子很快就会长出来的 |
| [20:30] | Yeah, or you keep riding and get the butt-stache surgery. | 你也可以继续骑 然后去做植毛手术 |
| [20:32] | Both great options. | 都是不错的选择 |
| [20:33] | – Maybe put it to a vote? – No. | -要不来个投票 -不要 |
| [20:35] | Maybe vote on whether to vote? | 要不投票决定要不要投票 |
| [20:37] | Well, that’s fair. | 很公平 |
| [20:38] | All in favor of voting in favor for the butt-stache? | 赞成就赞成植毛投票的 |
| [20:40] | All opposed to no butt-stache? | 反对不植毛的 |
| [20:43] | Interesting. | 有意思 |
| [20:44] | Oh, my God. I’m moving out. | 天 我要搬出去住 |
| [20:47] | Hugo, did you ever feel we were… | 雨果 你会不会觉得 |
| [20:50] | meant to be together? | 我俩是注定要遇见的 |
| [20:51] | Not this again, Ron! | 别又给我来这套 罗恩 |
| [20:53] | *It’s called fate and it’s great* | *它叫命运 它让人幸运* |
| [20:56] | *That’s an easy way to remember it* | *这样这个词会比较好记* |
| [20:58] | *It’s called fate and it’s great* | *它叫命运 它让人幸运* |
| [21:00] | *That’s an easy way to remember it* | *这样这个词会比较好记* |
| [21:02] | No, no, no, no. | 不不不不 |
| [21:03] | *Shave Dad’s face* | *要是给老爸刮了胡子* |
| [21:05] | *Belcher kids are erased* | *就没了贝尔彻家的孩子* |
| [21:08] | *If Dad’s lip has no hair* | *老爸嘴上要是没毛* |
| [21:10] | *We never come out of there* | *我们就出生不了* |
| [21:12] | *It’s called fate and it’s gre | *它叫命运 它让人幸运* |
| [21:14] | *That’s an easy way to remember it* | *这样这个词会比较好记* |
| [21:16] | *Call it fate– fate* | *它叫命运 命运* |
| [21:19] | *Or destiny– destiny* | *或命中注定* |
| [21:22] | Fate, fate, fate, fate… * | 命运 命运 |
| [21:22] | Fate is real. It’s just really random. | 真的有命运 只是它很随机 |
| [21:24] | No. It makes perfect sense. | 不 超有道理的 |
| [21:25] | I feel so much better. | 我感觉好多了 |