时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:04] | And I believe that’s all I’ve got. | 我想这就是全部内容了 |
[00:05] | Oh, wait, there’s one more thing. | 噢 等下 还有一件事 |
[00:07] | Peralta gave me a note before the meeting. | Peralta开会前给了我一张纸条 |
[00:11] | Ugh, the penmanship is horrid, but I think it says, | 呃 字写得很烂 但我猜他写的是 |
[00:15] | “Ask if anyone has an anal mint.” | “问问看有没有人有屎要铄” |
[00:17] | It’s announcements, and we do. | 是有事要说 而我们确实有 |
[00:19] | Wow, what an entrance. | 哇 多棒的入场方式啊 |
[00:20] | Amy and I have some big news to share. | Amy和我有重磅新闻要说给大家听 |
[00:23] | – I’m pregnant. – We’re pregnant! | – 我怀孕了 – 我们怀上啦 |
[00:25] | – Wow, I can’t believe it. – Congratulations. | – 哇 我真不敢相信 – 恭喜 |
[00:27] | What a surprise. | 真是惊喜 |
[00:28] | What the hell? | 什么鬼 |
[00:29] | I thought you guys would be more excited than that. | 我以为你们会更兴奋激动一点 |
[00:30] | Charles, you didn’t even faint. | Charles 你甚至都没晕倒 |
[00:31] | I’m so sorry, I’ll try. | 很抱歉 我试试 |
[00:34] | It’s not working. Somebody choke me. | 不起作用 谁快来掐晕我 |
[00:36] | – On it. – Rosa. | – 来了 – Rosa |
[00:37] | Sorry, we’re so happy for you, | 抱歉 我们很为你们高兴 |
[00:39] | but we also maybe, kind of already knew. | 但我们可能大概基本上都知道了 |
[00:41] | I mean, you didn’t do the best job of hiding it. | 我是说 你们也没有很好地掩饰一下 |
[00:43] | Why have you been carrying that box around so much? | 你为什么把这个箱子搬来搬去 |
[00:46] | I just love this box. | 我就是喜欢这个箱子 |
[00:47] | Why are you reading that newspaper? It’s two days old. | 你为什么在读那份报纸 都是两天前的了 |
[00:49] | I just love this issue. | 我就是喜欢这一期 |
[00:51] | Hey, why are you wearing that hazmat suit? | 嘿 你为什么穿着防护服 |
[00:52] | I just love this look. | 我就是喜欢这身装扮 |
[00:53] | Okay, fine, so you all knew we were pregnant. Good for you. | 好的 行吧 那你们都知道我们怀上了 你们真棒 |
[00:56] | But I bet you didn’t figure out that we’re having twins. | 但我猜你们不知道我们怀的是双胞胎 |
[01:01] | No, not really. It’s one baby. | 不 其实不是 就一个宝宝 |
[01:02] | I just needed to see Charles faint. | 我只是想看Charles晕倒 |
[01:24] | Aw, Jake. | 啊 Jake |
[01:25] | I am excited that you’re having a kid. | 你要有小孩了我感到十分激动 |
[01:28] | Thank you, Dad. Oh, and hey, if you’re free next Friday, | 谢谢 老爸 噢对了 如果你下周五有空的话 |
[01:30] | we’re having a sex reveal party. | 我们要举办性(别)揭露派对 |
[01:31] | Well, I went to one of those in Amsterdam. | 我曾经在阿姆斯特丹参加过一场 |
[01:33] | I would not invite relatives. | 我可不会邀请亲属 |
[01:35] | What? No, no, no. | 什么 不不不 |
[01:37] | It’s a party where we find out the biological sex of the baby | 在这个派对上我们会以意想不到的方式 |
[01:39] | in a surprising way. | 揭晓宝宝的性别 |
[01:40] | You better hope you’re having a girl. | 你最好祈祷你们怀的是女儿 |
[01:41] | Peralta fathers do not get along with sons. | Peralta家的爸爸跟儿子的关系都不怎么样 |
[01:44] | What? That’s not true. | 什么 才不是呢 |
[01:45] | I mean, look at us. We’re doing better than ever. | 我是说 看看我们 我们比以往都要好 |
[01:47] | This year, you even remembered my birthday month. | 你今年甚至记住了我的生日月份 |
[01:49] | Things are good now, but honestly, it’s probably just a blip. | 现在的情况是很好 但老实说 有可能只是昙花一现 |
[01:53] | Well, that’s fun to hear. | 嗯 听着真有意思 |
[01:53] | Well, that’s just the way it is. | 事情本来就是这样的 |
[01:55] | It’s the family curse. | 这是家族诅咒 |
[01:56] | I haven’t talked to my father since you were 10. | 从你十岁起我就再没跟我爸爸讲过话 |
[01:58] | His dad abandoned him at the World’s Fair. | 我爸爸的爸爸在世界博览会上抛弃了我爸爸 |
[02:01] | His dad fled to America after drowning his dad in a well. | 而你爷爷的爸爸把他爷爷淹死在井里后逃到了美国 |
[02:05] | Oh, my God. | 噢 我的天 |
[02:07] | Okay, so yes, fine, there’s a bit of a trend. | 行吧 好的 确实是有这样的趋势 |
[02:09] | But we’re not cursed. You and I are good. | 但我们没有被诅咒 你和我很要好 |
[02:11] | I bet you could even fix things up with your dad. | 我猜你甚至也能和你爸爸重归于好 |
[02:13] | The Admiral? | 那个海军上将 |
[02:15] | I always hoped that I could reconcile things with him one day, | 我总是希望有一天能跟他和好 |
[02:16] | but he’s not going to let that happen. | 但他不会让这一切发生 |
[02:18] | What can I tell you? We’re not meant to have sons. | 我能说什么呢 我们不应该生儿子 |
[02:21] | – There’s a demon in our genes. – Title of your sex tape. | – 我们的基因里有恶魔 – 你性爱录像带的标题 |
[02:24] | No, the title of my sex tape is | 不 我性爱录像带的标题是 |
[02:26] | “Cockpit Larry and the Mile High Stewardae.” | “驾驶舱的Larry和高空性爱俱乐部的空姐们” |
[02:28] | – What? – “Stewardae.” | – 什么 – “空姐们” |
[02:29] | It’s plural for stewardess. | 是空姐的复数形式 |
[02:31] | Yeah. Okay. | 好的 行吧 |
[02:32] | ADA Kurm, how are you? | 助理检察官Kurm 你好吗 |
[02:34] | Do you want the real answer, about how my wife’s leaving me, | 你是想听真话 听关于我太太要离我而去的事实呢 |
[02:37] | or do you just want me to say, “Good, how are you?” | 还是你只是想我说 “很好 你呢” |
[02:39] | The latter? | 后者吧 |
[02:41] | – Good, how are you? – We’re fine; why are you here? | – 很好 你呢 – 我们很好 你怎么来了 |
[02:42] | You know that Carroll Street Brownstone B&E? | 你知道卡罗尔街褐石联排别墅的入室盗窃案吗 |
[02:44] | Yeah, broken windows, swiped an old TV. | 知道 破窗而入 偷了一台旧电视 |
[02:46] | The house belongs to a friend of the mayor’s. | 那是市长朋友的房子 |
[02:48] | Oh, I didn’t realize the case was a priority. | 噢 我不知道那个案子是优先的 |
[02:51] | I’ll check into it right away. | 我会马上调查 |
[02:53] | Great, call me as soon as you have anything. | 很好 找到任何线索的话马上打给我 |
[02:55] | Yeah. Will do. | 好的 没问题 |
[02:57] | Oh, God, what a nightmare. | 噢 我的天 真是场噩梦 |
[02:59] | Agreed. Dude’s a mess. | 同意 那家伙一团糟 |
[03:00] | You know he’s only 24? | 你知道他才24岁吗 |
[03:01] | No, the Carroll Street case. | 不 是卡罗尔街的案子 |
[03:03] | I didn’t realize that the mayor was interested in it, | 我并不知道市长在关注这个案子 |
[03:05] | and I think I did something bad. | 而且我觉得我做了不好的事情 |
[03:07] | You gave Hitchcock and Scully an important case? | 你交给了Hitchcock和Scully一个重要的案子 |
[03:13] | Okay, here’s the cake. | 好的 蛋糕来了 |
[03:14] | If it’s pink on the inside, it’s a girl. | 如果里面是粉色的 就是个女孩 |
[03:16] | And if it’s blue, it’s a boy. | 如果是蓝色的 就是个男孩 |
[03:17] | And why do you seem so bummed by that? | 你为什么看起来为此沮丧 |
[03:19] | Because I still think you should have done the pig roast, | 因为我还是觉得你应该选烤猪的形式 |
[03:21] | where we start eating it from the snout, | 我们从它的鼻子开始吃 |
[03:22] | and discover the baby’s sex when we get to the genitals. | 等吃到性器官的时候就揭晓了宝宝的性别 |
[03:24] | Yeah, you know, Amy wanted to do that too, | 是啊 你知道 Amy也想这么做 |
[03:25] | but I just don’t see it. | 但我搞不懂这么做的点 |
[03:27] | I’m getting a text. | 我收到一条信息 |
[03:28] | Ooh. “I will see you soon, sir.” | 噢 “稍后见 长官(爵士)” |
[03:30] | – Guess who that was. – Elton John. | – 猜猜那是谁 – 艾尔顿·约翰 |
[03:32] | What? | 什么 |
[03:32] | You said “Sir,” And that’s on you. | 你说了”爵士” 这得怪你 |
[03:34] | No, it was my grandfather, the Admiral. | 不 是我的爷爷 那个海军上将 |
[03:36] | Whoa, you tracked him down? | 哇 你找到他了 |
[03:37] | Yup, he’s on his way to my apartment right now. | 是的 他现在在去我公寓的路上 |
[03:38] | I’m going to fix his relationship with my dad. | 我要修复他和我爸的关系 |
[03:40] | It’s going to be very emotional. | 这一定会很感人 |
[03:41] | It’s going to be so dramatic. You should be producing for Ellen. | 一定会很戏剧化 你应该给<艾伦秀>做制片人 |
[03:44] | Do you really think so? | 你真这么觉得吗 |
[03:44] | ‘Cause I actually have another idea for a segment | 因为我的确想设计一个环节 |
[03:46] | where Ellen turns your home into a haunted house. | 让艾伦把你的家改造成一个闹鬼的房子 |
[03:48] | I call it “Extreme Makeover: Bone Edition.” | 我起名叫”彻底改变之白骨再造” |
[03:53] | But you know, I… I don’t have to do it. | 但你知道 我不用非得去做制片人 |
[03:55] | – I like being a cop. – And you’re so good at it. | – 我还挺喜欢当警察的 – 而且你还很擅长呢 |
[03:56] | Yeah, okay, I’m going to go meet my grandpa. | 是啊 行了 我去见我爷爷了 |
[03:58] | Yup. | 好 |
[04:02] | Ooh, fun! Terry’s playing the flute. | 噢 有趣 Terry在吹长笛呢 |
[04:04] | At work. Who are you, William Wonka? | 还是在工作时间 你是谁啊 威利旺卡吗 |
[04:06] | No, this is police business. | 不 这是和警局相关的 |
[04:08] | The flautist for the NYPD band retired, | 纽约警局乐队的笛手退休了 |
[04:10] | and I’m going to audition to take her spot. | 我打算去面试她的位置 |
[04:13] | Captain Holt, you love music. Can you give me some pointers? | Holt警监 你热爱音乐 能给我点儿建议吗 |
[04:15] | I’d rather not. The music they play is dreck. | 还是不了 他们演奏的音乐简直是垃圾 |
[04:18] | Last month, they performed Sousa at a fallen officer’s funeral. | 上个月 他们在一个去世警员的葬礼上演奏了苏萨的曲子 |
[04:21] | And the people were so appalled, they cried. | 然后人们一听 都吓哭了 |
[04:23] | Or they were crying for the deceased. | 还是他们是因为追忆死者才哭的 |
[04:25] | No, she was very unpopular. | 不 她不招人喜欢 |
[04:26] | The band made them cry. | 就是乐队弄哭的大家 |
[04:29] | Suffice it to say, I don’t respect what they do, | 简单来说 我不是很尊重他们的这项工作 |
[04:31] | so I wouldn’t be the right teacher. | 所以我不是合适的老师 |
[04:32] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
[04:36] | Hey, Grandpa. | 嘿 爷爷 |
[04:37] | – Attention! – Oh. | – 立正 – 噢 |
[04:40] | At ease. Just pulling your leg. | 稍息 就开个玩笑 |
[04:42] | I’m your grandfather, not your commanding officer. | 我是你爷爷 又不是你的指挥官 |
[04:44] | – Now, come on. – Aw. | – 来吧 – 噢 |
[04:45] | – Give me a handshake. – Okay. | – 握个手 – 好 |
[04:47] | Right, come on in. | 行吧 请进 |
[04:50] | Wow, it’s really been quite a while, huh? | 哇 真是好些日子没见了 是吧 |
[04:52] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[04:52] | Are you still watching those cartoons about the karate lizards? | 你还看空手道蜥蜴的那些动画片吗 |
[04:56] | The “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”? | 你在说<忍者神龟>吗 |
[04:58] | I am. There was recently a reboot. | 看啊 而且最近又重启了 |
[05:00] | They did some interesting things | 他们就斯普林特和克朗的背景故事 |
[05:00] | 斯普林特 <忍者神龟>中的老鼠大师 忍者神龟的老师 克朗 <忍者神龟>中大反派 | |
[05:01] | with Splinter and Krang’s backstories. | 又设计了些好玩的剧情 |
[05:02] | Anyways, I’m an adult now. How are you? | 不管怎样 我现在是个成年人了 您最近怎么样 |
[05:04] | Oh, me? Well, I guess I’m… | 哦 我吗 我想我 |
[05:11] | – Grandpa? – What? | – 爷爷 – 怎么了 |
[05:12] | Oh, I was just asking how you were. | 哦 我刚问您最近怎么样 |
[05:14] | – Oh, sharp as ever. – Yeah. | – 哦 宝刀未老 – 是哈 |
[05:15] | I’m so glad you reached out to me. | 很开心你联系我 |
[05:17] | Same, you know, now that I’m having a baby of my own, | 我也是 你知道 现在我马上要有自己的小孩儿了 |
[05:19] | I’ve started to realize | 我开始意识到 |
[05:21] | how important father/son/grandfather relationships really are. | 父子爷爷关系有多重要 |
[05:24] | Which reminds me, my dad is also coming. | 话说到这 我爸爸也会来 |
[05:27] | He is? | 是吗 |
[05:27] | I’m surprised he wanted to see me. | 我没想到他居然想见我 |
[05:29] | Well, he doesn’t exactly know you’re here. | 这个 他其实不知道您也在这儿 |
[05:31] | I thought it might be cool to surprise both of you. | 我想给你们俩一个惊喜的话应该挺酷的 |
[05:33] | You know who else thought surprises were cool? | 你知道还有谁觉得惊喜很酷吗 |
[05:36] | Admiral Yamamoto, and we all know what happened then, huh? | 海军大将山本五十六 我们都知道后来发生了什么 是吧 |
[05:39] | – We do? – Pearl Harbor. | – 我们知道吗 – 珍珠港事件 |
[05:40] | Pearl Harbor, right. Some surprises can be bad. | 珍珠港事件 对 有些惊喜会不尽人意 |
[05:42] | But this one’s not gonna be. This one’s gonna be good, | 但是这个惊喜不会的 这个惊喜会有好效果 |
[05:44] | – just like… – The Battle of Midway. | – 就像 – 中途岛战役 |
[05:45] | The Bimble of Durbay. Yup. | 中毒导弹计 可不 |
[05:47] | We both said the same thing at the same time. | 异口同声啊 |
[05:48] | Oh, that’s my Dad. | 哦 是我爸来了 |
[05:49] | This is going to be amazing. | 好期待啊 |
[05:52] | – Hey, Jakey. – Roger Peralta. | – 嘿 Jakey – Roger Peralta |
[05:54] | Prepare to hug and cry. | 准备好抱头痛哭吧 |
[05:55] | This is your father. | 有请你的爸爸出场 |
[05:59] | Dad, you son of a bitch. | 爸爸 你个狗娘养的 |
[06:01] | Uh-oh. Ow! | 完了 啊 |
[06:08] | I can’t believe you hit me. | 我不敢相信你竟然打我 |
[06:09] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
[06:10] | My face is throbbing. Hey, “Dino Bites.” | 我脸都跳了 诶 是恐龙小鸡块 |
[06:12] | What the hell is my father doing here? | 我爸在这到底要干什么啊 |
[06:13] | You said you wanted to reconcile. | 你说你想和解的 |
[06:15] | I meant after he was dead. | 我是说等他死了之后的 |
[06:17] | I planned on standing over his grave | 我计划去他的墓地边儿上 |
[06:19] | and yelling, “I forgive you.” | 然后大喊”我原谅你了” |
[06:20] | Well, you may get the chance sooner than you think. | 那看来你很快就能实现这个计划了 |
[06:22] | He keeps trailing off and staring into space. | 他现在老走神 看着一个地方不动 |
[06:25] | That’s his old trick. | 那是他的老伎俩了 |
[06:26] | Whenever he doesn’t want to talk about something, he does that. | 他不想谈什么事儿的时候就那样 |
[06:29] | The old bastard. | 老混蛋 |
[06:30] | Look, I know you don’t like him, | 我知道你不喜欢他 |
[06:31] | but can you at least try to be nice for me? | 但是你能不能试着友善一点 就当为了我 |
[06:35] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[06:38] | I’ll be nice. | 我会友善点儿的 |
[06:38] | I wish you were dead, you lousy son of a bitch! | 你要是死了就好了 你个狗娘养的臭混蛋 |
[06:41] | You said you were gonna be nice. | 你说过你会友善点儿的 |
[06:42] | I lied so I could say the “Son of a bitch” Thing. | 我撒谎了 就为了说狗娘养的这句话 |
[06:44] | – Dad! – Okay. | – 爸爸 – 好吧 |
[06:46] | Your grandson would like us to make peace. | 你孙子想让咱们两个讲和 |
[06:50] | So, do you apologize for being the worst father | 那 你会不会向我道歉 |
[06:52] | in the history in the world? | 因为你是世界历史上最烂的父亲 |
[06:54] | Even worse than fathers who chain their children in basements? | 比那些把自己孩子绑在地下室的父亲还差劲 |
[06:56] | – I do not. – That’s on him. I tried. | – 我不会 – 这是他的问题 我尽力了 |
[06:58] | – I really don’t think you did. – Jake, you don’t get it. | – 我还真没觉得你尽了多大力 – Jake 你不懂 |
[07:00] | He’s a heartless jerk. | 他就是个没心的混蛋 |
[07:01] | When I was in high school, I almost died. | 我上高中的时候 差点死了 |
[07:02] | He didn’t even visit me in the hospital. | 他都没去医院看我一眼 |
[07:04] | Okay, so maybe start by asking him | 好吧 那你可以从这件事开始 |
[07:06] | to apologize for that. | 让他向你道歉 |
[07:07] | No, he should apologize to me for being in the hospital. | 不 他应该因为进了医院这件事向我道歉 |
[07:11] | I’m starting to see the heartless thing now. | 我开始有点儿明白你为啥说他没心了 |
[07:13] | Growing up, he had a boat. Meant everything to him. | 在我小的时候 他有一艘船 对他来说简直是一切 |
[07:16] | He named it “Walter,” After himself. | 他用他自己的名字给它命名”Walter” |
[07:18] | She was the child I never had. | 她就像是我从未拥有过的亲生孩子一样 |
[07:19] | I was the child you did have. | 我就是你亲生的孩子 |
[07:22] | Anyway, one day I took Walter Junior out for a spin. | 回归正题 有一天我带着小Walter出去溜溜 |
[07:24] | I was trying to impress one of the lake girls. | 我想给一个湖人队女郎留个好印象 |
[07:27] | Before I met your mom, I was a bit of a ladies’ man. | 在我遇到你妈之前 我其实是个少女杀手 |
[07:29] | Yes, that continued long after you met my mom. | 我知道 在你认识我妈之后很长时间你依然是 |
[07:31] | He’s always been a floozy. | 他一直都很放荡 |
[07:33] | It was dark. I crashed into the dock; I woke up in the hospital. | 当时天很黑 我撞到了码头 然后从医院醒来 |
[07:36] | – How was the girl? – Flexible. | – 那个女孩怎么样 – 柔韧性不错 |
[07:37] | Man, she could put her leg– total– | 天 她能把她的腿 完全 |
[07:39] | No, I was– after the accident. | 不 我是说 在事故发生之后 |
[07:41] | Oh, right! No. | 哦 对 没事 |
[07:41] | She was totally unhurt, thank goodness. | 她一点事都没有 谢天谢地 |
[07:43] | But I was in the hospital for three weeks, | 但是我在医院整整待了三个星期 |
[07:45] | and Admiral Ass never visited me once. | 而这位混蛋司令一次都没来看过我 |
[07:48] | I warned you not to take the boat out. | 我警告过你不要把船开出去 |
[07:50] | You make mistakes, you got to accept the consequences. | 你既然犯了错误 就要接受随之而来的后果 |
[07:53] | – I’m your son! – And Walter was my daughter. | – 我可是你的儿子 – Wlater还是我的女儿呢 |
[07:56] | Okay, both of you, stop. | 行了 你们俩都别说了 |
[07:57] | You’re acting like children. | 你们就像小孩子一样 |
[07:59] | You know what? That’s it, if you’re gonna act like kids, | 好了 到此为止 如果你们要像小孩一样幼稚 |
[08:01] | then I’m gonna act like a parent. | 那我就来作家长 |
[08:03] | – “Cry Hard with a Vengeance”? – Yeah. | – “哭胆龙威” – 没错 |
[08:05] | It’s Bruce Willis’ book about parenting. | 这是布鲁斯·威利斯写得关于育儿的书 |
[08:07] | And we’re gonna read it. | 我们来读读 |
[08:09] | I just got another call from the saddest ADA in the world. | 我刚刚接到来史上最悲催的助理检察官打来的电话 |
[08:12] | He’s still pissed. | 他还在生气 |
[08:13] | – Did Hitchcock and Scully get anywhere? – Hard to say. | – Hitchcock和Scully有任何进展吗 – 不好说 |
[08:16] | Their file contains a lot of non-case related documents. | 他们的档案里有很多与案件无关的文件 |
[08:19] | A bunch of menus? | 一堆菜单 |
[08:20] | A cease and desist letter from TJ Maxx. | TJ Maxx商场发来的禁制令 |
[08:22] | Multiple patent submissions | 多个专利申请书 |
[08:23] | for something called a “Pillow shoe.” | 关于一个叫”枕头鞋”的东西 |
[08:25] | An application for a time share in Figi. | 还有一个分时房产的申请 在斐齐 |
[08:27] | – You mean Fiji. – No, Figi with a G. | – 你是说斐济吧 – 不 斐齐 没有三点水 |
[08:30] | They’re getting scammed. | 他们要被骗了 |
[08:33] | Wait. This is good. | 等等 这个是有用的 |
[08:34] | There was a witness who saw everything. | 有一个目击证人看到了全过程 |
[08:36] | Identified the thief, | 认出了小偷 |
[08:37] | they even described | 甚至提到了 |
[08:37] | the getaway car down to a dent in the right bumper. | 他们逃跑开的车右保险杠有个坑这种细节 |
[08:39] | We’re golden. | 我们中奖了 |
[08:40] | Yeah, but Hitchcock and Scully forgot to | 是 但是Hitchcock和Scully忘了 |
[08:42] | write down the witness’ name or contact info. | 记下目击证人的名字和联系方式 |
[08:44] | What? No, that’s insane. | 啥 不 不可能吧 |
[08:46] | Even they wouldn’t do something that dumb. | 就算是他俩也干不出这么蠢的事 |
[08:48] | Dumb? Excuse me. | 蠢 不好意思 |
[08:51] | I don’t need this crap. | 我可不需要听这种话 |
[08:52] | I could be on the beach in Figi right now. | 我现在本该在斐齐的沙滩上的 |
[08:53] | If we go to court, | 如果我们要上法庭 |
[08:55] | we’re gonna need the witness to testify. | 那就需要目击证人来作证 |
[08:57] | But now, we have no way of contacting him. | 但现在 我们都没有办法联系到他 |
[08:59] | So there’s no case. | 所以就没法立案了 |
[09:00] | How could you not take down the witness’ contact info? | 你们怎么能不记下目击证人的联系方式呢 |
[09:03] | Well, unlike you dorks, | 我们不像你们这些呆子 |
[09:05] | we don’t do everything”By the book.” | 我们不是做什么都要”循规蹈矩” |
[09:07] | – We play by our own rules. – And we get results. | – 我们有自己的规矩 – 所以我们能办成事 |
[09:09] | Mm-hmm. | 嗯哼 |
[09:09] | No! You don’t! | 不 你们不能 |
[09:11] | That’s why we’re here! | 所以我们才在这 |
[09:13] | So John McClain’s advice wasn’t great, | 所以”约翰·麦克莱恩”的建议不怎么样 |
[09:14] | but I have other books. | 但我还有其他书 |
[09:15] | This one says to make sure neither of you has a full diaper. | 这本说 要保证你们俩尿布都是干净的 |
[09:19] | Feels like we can skip that part. | 感觉我们可以跳过这一步 |
[09:20] | – I wouldn’t be so sure. – Dad, come on, all right? | – 我可不敢确定 – 爸 别这样 好吧 |
[09:23] | How about this? | 这个怎么样 |
[09:24] | Dad, just name one happy memory that you have with Grandpa. | 爸 你只要说一个和爷爷一起的快乐时光就好 |
[09:27] | And don’t say the memory you’re going to have at his funeral. | 而且不能说你将要在他葬礼上有的快乐时光 |
[09:29] | All right, when I was eight, he was on shore leave, | 好吧 当时我八岁 他放上岸假期 |
[09:32] | and we played catch in the yard, and that was fun. | 我们一起在院子里玩接球游戏 还挺开心的 |
[09:36] | Hey, there you go. That was great. | 嘿 这不就得了 很棒 |
[09:39] | And Grandpa, is there a happy memory you want to share? | 那么爷爷 你有没有想要分享的快乐记忆 |
[09:41] | Well, can I pick the catch thing too? | 我能也选接球那个吗 |
[09:43] | Yeah, sure. | 当然可以 |
[09:44] | ‘Cause that was really a nice time. | 因为那个时候真的很开心 |
[09:46] | While we were playing,the neighbor kid fell off his bike. | 我们玩的时候邻居的小孩从自行车上摔下去了 |
[09:49] | – Yeah, he broke his arm. – You could see the bone. | – 对 他摔坏了胳膊 – 你都能看到骨头 |
[09:51] | Do you remember when we went skiing, | 你还记得我们去滑雪的时候 |
[09:53] | and the guy fell off the lift and busted his leg? | 一个男的从缆车上掉下去摔坏了腿 |
[09:55] | – And you could see the bone. – It was just, like, | – 而且你都能看到骨头 – 那简直了 |
[09:57] | sticking right out of the skin, and he’s, like, screaming. | 直接从他皮肤穿出来 他一直尖叫 |
[10:00] | – We were laughing. – Oh, oh, it was beautiful. | – 我们笑得呀 – 哦简直太美好了 |
[10:02] | God, I hope somebody found him. | 天 我希望有人找到他了 |
[10:04] | Okay, well, you guys are both monsters, | 好了 你们俩都是怪物 |
[10:05] | but this is going great. | 但这进展的还挺顺利的 |
[10:09] | Yes, yes. | 太棒了 太棒了 |
[10:10] | I know you’re being positive, | 我知道你在鼓励我 |
[10:12] | but I could use some honest criticism. | 但是我需要诚实的意见 |
[10:14] | Terry, I’d love to help, but… | Terry 我愿意帮忙 但是 |
[10:18] | Follow me. | 跟我来 |
[10:20] | Hello. | 你们好 |
[10:21] | You caught me stretching. | 你们抓到我拉伸了 |
[10:23] | I’ve been doing this and nothing else | 我过去半小时一直在干这个 |
[10:25] | for the last half hour continuously. | 其他什么都没干 |
[10:26] | I saw you watching Terry. | 我看到你看Terry了 |
[10:28] | You were finger conducting. | 你在用手指指挥 |
[10:30] | Fine. | 好吧 |
[10:32] | Yes. | 没错 |
[10:33] | I may have overstated my contempt for the music they play | 我也许夸大了对他们音乐的蔑视 |
[10:36] | so that I wouldn’t have to help Jeffords. | 这样我就不用帮Jeffords了 |
[10:38] | Oh, no, am I so bad, I can’t be helped? | 哦 不 我差劲到都没救了吗 |
[10:40] | Aw, man, I wanted to play in the Thanksgiving Day Parade. | 噢 天 我本来想在感恩节游行的时候表演的 |
[10:43] | Terry loves being in and among floats. | Terry喜欢在花车上或者在花车之间表演 |
[10:45] | You’re not bad. You’re maybe even… | 你不差劲 你甚至可以说 |
[10:47] | Good. But to make you great, | 还不错 但要想让你变成优秀 |
[10:49] | I’d have to break you down to nothing. | 我就得把你贬得一文不值 |
[10:52] | – It would ruin our friendship. – I can handle criticism. | – 这会破坏我们的友谊 – 我能受得了批评 |
[10:54] | My daughters criticize me all the time. | 我女儿一直对我评头论足的 |
[10:56] | They’re so mean now. Please help me, sir, please! | 她们现在特别刻薄 帮帮我吧 警监 求你了 |
[10:58] | Okay. | 可以 |
[11:00] | Give me your flute. | 把你的长笛给我 |
[11:02] | Wrong! First rule: | 错了 第一条准则就是 |
[11:04] | never give anyone your flute. | 永远不要别把你的长笛交给别人 |
[11:08] | – Hey, babe, how’s it going? – Amazingly well. | – 嘿 亲爱的 你怎么样 – 非常好 |
[11:11] | My dad and my grandpa are actually getting along. | 我爸爸和我爷爷相处得很好 |
[11:13] | They’ve been catching up nonstop. | 他们一直在叙旧 |
[11:14] | – Aunt Millie? – Dead. | – Millie阿姨呢 – 死了 |
[11:15] | – Uncle Thomas? – Dead. | – Thomas叔叔呢 – 死了 |
[11:16] | – Aunt Janet? – Dead. | – Janet阿姨呢 – 死了 |
[11:17] | – Uncle Dean? – Gay. | – Dean叔叔呢 – 弯了 |
[11:18] | Ooh, good for him. | 哦 那挺好的 |
[11:20] | – What about Aunt Lyn? – Dead. | – 那Lyn阿姨呢 – 死了 |
[11:21] | Apparently there was a fire at the family reunion. | 之前家庭聚会上发生了火灾 |
[11:23] | Lucky for my Uncle Dean, he was not welcome at the event. | Dean叔叔就很幸运了 他不受欢迎没被邀请 |
[11:25] | – Wow. Dark. – Yeah. | – 哇 好阴暗啊 – 是啊 |
[11:27] | Well, I’m glad everything’s working out. | 好吧 很高兴一切顺利 |
[11:30] | Oh, I got to go. Love you, bye. | 我得挂了 爱你 拜拜 |
[11:31] | Actually, I got to go too, so… | 事实上 我也得挂了 所以 |
[11:34] | I didn’t even think | 我都没想到 |
[11:36] | it was possible to put a cast on that part of the body. | 还能在身体的那个部位打石膏 |
[11:39] | That was Amy. I hung up first. | 是Amy打来的 是我先挂断的 |
[11:41] | Looks like things are still going great in here. | 看来你们相处得还不错啊 |
[11:43] | Yeah, they sure are. Hey, Dad, toss me a beer. | 是啊 当然了 嘿 爸 扔个啤酒过来 |
[11:46] | Bring the heat. | 用力扔 |
[11:47] | Whoa! | 哇 |
[11:49] | – No, the sex reveal cake! – Oh. | – 别啊 性别揭秘蛋糕 – 哦 |
[11:50] | Nobody look at the floor! | 谁都不许看地上 |
[11:51] | No one can see the color of the cake. | 谁也不许看蛋糕的颜色 |
[11:55] | How long are we doing this? What’s the plan? | 我们还要这样多久 接下来打算怎么办 |
[11:57] | I don’t know yet! | 我还不知道 |
[12:01] | Okay, we all heard the cake splat on the other side of the counter, | 好 我们都听到蛋糕砸在了柜台的另一边 |
[12:03] | which means we can probably assume you can see the color. | 也就是说可以默认你们能看到蛋糕的颜色 |
[12:06] | – Why does that matter? – Because the color of the cake | – 这有什么关系吗 – 因为蛋糕的颜色 |
[12:07] | tells us if we’re having a boy or a girl. | 代表了是男孩还是女孩 |
[12:09] | How can that baker tell? | 那个蛋糕师是怎么知道的 |
[12:10] | Because the baker does the test. | 因为是蛋糕师做的测试 |
[12:11] | No, the doctor does the test. Then the doctor calls the baker, | 不是 是医生做的测试 然后医生打电话给蛋糕师 |
[12:13] | and the baker makes the cake. | 蛋糕师再去做蛋糕 |
[12:14] | Okay, I hate to say this, but can you start over? | 好吧 我不想这么说 但是你能再说一遍吗 |
[12:16] | No, we don’t have time. Just help me fix this. | 不 我们没时间了 帮我处理下这个 |
[12:18] | You know, it’s Roger’s fault. | 是Roger的错 |
[12:19] | All he had to do was catch the beer. | 他本来只要接住啤酒就好了 |
[12:21] | Well, maybe I’d be better at catch | 也许我本来可以更擅长接住东西的 |
[12:23] | if I played it more than once growing up. | 如果我在童年不止玩过一次接球游戏的话 |
[12:25] | Guys, focus up. | 嘿 集中注意 |
[12:25] | We’re all getting along, remember? | 我们都相处得很好 记得吗 |
[12:27] | Now, we can’t see the cake before Amy, which means | 现在我们不能在Amy之前看到蛋糕 也就是说 |
[12:29] | we have to figure out a way to clean it up without looking at it. | 我们得想办法不看着它来把它清理干净 |
[12:31] | We have to “Birdbox” It. | 我们得”蒙上你的眼” |
[12:33] | And “Birdbox” Is the bakery. | “蒙上你的眼”是家蛋糕店的名字 |
[12:35] | No, “Birdbox” Is a movie | 不是 那是部电影 |
[12:36] | where people aren’t allowed to look at things. | 里面的角色眼睛都被蒙起来了 |
[12:38] | Just put on these blindfolds and help me clean it up. | 把眼罩戴上 帮我把这里擦干净 |
[12:40] | I “Birdbox-ed” The stewardess in Sweden once. | 我曾经有一次在瑞典和空姐玩过”蒙上你的眼” |
[12:43] | Dad! | 爸 |
[12:45] | Okay, that should be all of it. | 好了 应该这样就好了 |
[12:47] | I think it’s safe to take off our blindfolds– | 现在应该可以放心摘下眼罩了 |
[12:50] | Oh! | 哦啊啊啊 |
[12:51] | No, no! Oh, God! | 不 不 天啊 |
[12:55] | What happened? We were so careful. | 怎么回事 我们明明很小心啊 |
[12:57] | Here comes the mop. | 拖一下这里 |
[12:59] | Bag. | 垃圾袋 |
[13:00] | – This is hard. – Yeah. | – 这很难啊 – 是啊 |
[13:01] | I could use a beer, you know? | 你们知道吗 我需要喝杯啤酒 |
[13:04] | Oh, oh. You okay? | 哦 哦 你没事吧 |
[13:05] | The cake was blue. | 蛋糕是蓝色的 |
[13:07] | You’re having a boy. It’s the curse. | 你们要有儿子了 这是诅咒 |
[13:09] | No. No, no, no, there’s no curse. | 不 不 没有什么诅咒 |
[13:11] | Look, we can still fix this. All we have to do is | 听着 我们还是可以解决的 我们要做的就是 |
[13:13] | clean every inch of this room, and then bake a gourmet cake. | 把这房间里的每一寸都打扫干净 然后烤个美味的蛋糕 |
[13:16] | No one can do all that in two hours. | 没人能在两小时内全部做完 |
[13:18] | Wrong, Dad. | 错了 爸 |
[13:20] | There is one who can. | 有一个人可以 |
[13:24] | Hello, fellas. Let’s get to work. | 大家好 开始干活吧 |
[13:29] | Oh, hey. I got something. | 哦 嘿 我有线索了 |
[13:31] | There was a security camera by the Carroll Street brownstone. | 卡罗尔街褐石联排别墅旁有个监控摄像头 |
[13:34] | And it got footage of the perps? | 拍到罪犯了吗 |
[13:35] | No, but it caught Scully and Hitchcock interviewing the witness. | 没有 但是拍到了Scully和Hitchcock审问证人的画面 |
[13:38] | All right. Let’s start canvassing the neighborhood, | 好 我们开始调查附近的情况吧 |
[13:39] | see if anybody recognizes that guy. | 看看有没有人认出他 |
[13:41] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
[13:42] | Wait! | 等一下 |
[13:44] | – What the hell? – Sorry, I didn’t want to run, | – 搞什么啊 – 抱歉 我不想跑 |
[13:46] | and that was the only way to stop the doors. | 那是唯一能让门开着的办法 |
[13:48] | – It wasn’t, and it didn’t. – It worked, we’re here. | – 不是 也没有用 – 有用的 我们进来了 |
[13:50] | Please, don’t go looking for that witness. | 求你们了 不要去找那个证人 |
[13:52] | We’re just trying to fix your screw-up. | 我们只是想把你们搞砸的事处理好 |
[13:54] | We didn’t screw up. The witness gave us his name, | 我们没有搞砸 证人告诉我们他的名字了 |
[13:56] | but he asked us not to write it down because he’s undocumented. | 但他要求我们不要写下来 因为他没有依法登记 |
[13:58] | So he’s scared to show up to testify at the courthouse | 所以他害怕出现在法庭上作证 |
[14:01] | because he didn’t want to be detained by ICE. | 因为他不想被移民及海关执法局抓住 |
[14:03] | – Damn it. – You know, | – 该死 – 你知道吗 |
[14:04] | that keeps lots of immigrants from helping cops. | 这使得很多移民无法帮助警察 |
[14:06] | Yeah, we know that. We’re just surprised that you know that. | 是的 我们知道 我们只是很惊讶你们居然知道 |
[14:08] | That’s insulting. | 太侮辱人了 |
[14:09] | I’m very concerned with immigration issues. | 我很关心移民问题的 |
[14:11] | And I’ve dated my fair share of spicy– | 而我也约会过一位很辣的 |
[14:13] | – No! – Scully said the nice thing. | – 别说了 – Scully已经说过好话了 |
[14:15] | You don’t need to go past it, Hitchcock. | 你不用再说下去了 Hitchcock |
[14:17] | Okay, I know you need help and time is tight, | 好啦 我知道你需要帮助 时间也很紧 |
[14:20] | but I see there is blue cake on the floor, | 但是我看见地上都是蓝色的蛋糕 |
[14:21] | and I know what that means, vis-à-vis the sex of the baby. | 我也知道这意味着什么 是关于孩子的性别 |
[14:24] | So before we do anything, I’m going to need a minute. | 所以我们有任何行动之前 我需要一点时间 |
[14:28] | Sorry for all the weeping | 抱歉我哭了半天 |
[14:29] | and the weird snort noise I made at the end. | 结尾还发出奇怪的鼻息声 |
[14:31] | It’s genetic. | 这是遗传的 |
[14:32] | Now, Jake, grab the mop, you’re on cleanup. | 好了 Jake 拿起拖把 去打扫干净 |
[14:35] | Admiral, you’re making the batter. | 上将 你来做面糊 |
[14:36] | Captain, you’re on frosting duty. | 上校 你来负责霜糖 |
[14:40] | Okay, Amy just texted. | 好啦 Amy刚发信息给我 |
[14:41] | She’s gonna be here any second, so hide that thing. | 她随时都可能到达 所以把那个藏起来 |
[14:44] | The…Oh. | 那个 噢 |
[14:47] | Dad, that is so noticeable. | 爸爸 那太明显了 |
[14:48] | Nuh-uh, it’s awesome. | 不不 这样超棒 |
[14:50] | All right, everybody, act normal. | 好吧 所有人 正常点 |
[14:51] | Act normal. | 正常点 |
[14:53] | Hey, guys. | 嘿 大家 |
[14:54] | Hey, welcome home. | 嘿 欢迎回家 |
[14:56] | I’d like you to meet my grandpa, Walter. | 我带你认识一下我的爷爷 Walter |
[14:59] | It’s so nice to meet you. | 很高兴见到你 |
[15:00] | Hello, things are normal here. | 你好 这里一切都很正常 |
[15:02] | Yeah, everything’s totally normal… | 是啊 所有的一切都特别正常 |
[15:04] | Back here too, behind the chair. | 我这里也是 椅子后面的地方 |
[15:05] | Yup, and that was a normal thing to say. | 对 那也是很正常的一句话 |
[15:07] | Are things normal with you, Amy? | 你一切正常吗 Amy |
[15:08] | – Sure. – Cool. | – 当然 – 那就好 |
[15:10] | I’m going to go get ready for the party. | 我要去为派对做准备了 |
[15:12] | Oh, fun. | 噢 真有意思 |
[15:17] | Oh, my God, I can’t believe we pulled it off. | 噢 我的天呐 不敢相信我们竟然做到了 |
[15:19] | Charles, we owe it all to you. | Charles 我们欠你的 |
[15:20] | Stop, it was an honor to cook and clean with all of you. | 别这么说 我很荣幸能和你们一起下厨一起打扫 |
[15:23] | Boy, Jake is so lucky to have you as his butler. | 天呐 Jake有你做他的管家真是太幸运了 |
[15:26] | – Oh, he’s not- – Thank you. | – 噢 他不是 – 谢谢夸奖 |
[15:27] | Oh. | 好吧 |
[15:29] | I’m so glad you’re helping me. | 我很高兴你来帮助我 |
[15:30] | Maybe I won’t blow it after all. | 也许我不会搞砸了(不用吹了) |
[15:32] | Oh, you’ll do plenty of blowing… | 噢 你要吹得可多了 |
[15:33] | Of that flute. Now, let’s go. | 吹那个长笛 好了 开始吧 |
[15:34] | A five, six, seven, eight. | 五 六 七 八 |
[15:38] | Stop. | 停 |
[15:39] | The nod meant start now, not start one second later. | 我点头你就要开始 不是一秒后才开始 |
[15:41] | Again. Five, six, seven, eight. | 再来 五 六 七 八 |
[15:45] | Stop. | 停 |
[15:48] | Are you playing “The Muffin Man” Or “The Garbage Man”? | 你在演奏<松饼师>还是<垃圾师> |
[15:50] | – Huh? – Do you know the Garbage Man? | – 什么 – 你知道垃圾师吗 |
[15:51] | Because I do. | 我知道 |
[15:52] | Because I’m looking right at him. | 因为我正看着他呢 |
[15:54] | Again. Five, six, seven, eight. | 再来 五 六 七 八 |
[15:58] | Bum, bum, bum, badum, bum, bum | 嘣 嘣 嘣 啪嗒 嘣 嘣 |
[16:03] | Again. | 再来 |
[16:06] | Again. | 再来 |
[16:07] | Bum, bum, bum, badum, bum, bum | 嘣 嘣 嘣 啪嗒 嘣 嘣 |
[16:11] | Da, da, da, da | 哒 哒 哒 哒 |
[16:13] | Why did you stop playing, Garbage Man? | 为什么停下来了 垃圾师 |
[16:14] | I need some water. | 我需要喝点水 |
[16:15] | What you need to do is keep practicing, Garbage Man. | 你需要的是一直练习 垃圾师 |
[16:16] | I don’t have any more saliva. | 我已经口干到没唾液了 |
[16:17] | And I don’t have any more time for your excuses, Garbage Man. | 那我还没时间来听你找借口了 垃圾师 |
[16:21] | Now play again. Five, six– | 接着来 五 六 |
[16:23] | I don’t want your help anymore! | 我再也不想要你帮我了 |
[16:24] | I’m not a garbage man! I’m a muffin man! | 我不是垃圾师 我是松饼师 |
[16:30] | Attention, everyone. | 注意啦 各位 |
[16:32] | Thank you all so much for coming. | 非常感谢大家的到来 |
[16:33] | Please gather around. | 请聚拢一点 |
[16:34] | We’re going to cut the cake and find out | 我们要切开蛋糕来得知 |
[16:36] | what our baby’s whole downstairs situation is. | 我们的孩子下面是什么情况 |
[16:41] | Why the accent? | 为什么是这种腔调 |
[16:42] | I don’t know. I did so bad. I should have let you talk. | 我也不知道 我表现得好差 我应该让你来说 |
[16:44] | – Yeah, you should have. – Okay. | – 是啊 你该让我来 – 好吧 |
[16:45] | – I love you. – Oh. | – 我爱你 – 好的 |
[16:46] | Okay, let’s do this. | 好啦 我们开始吧 |
[16:47] | Here we go. | 来切蛋糕啦 |
[16:49] | All right, we are having a… | 好啦 我们的孩子是 |
[16:53] | Green. | 绿色的 |
[16:54] | Oh, my God. What’s inside of me? | 噢 我的天 我是怀了个什么 |
[16:56] | No, you just cut a bad slice. Here, I’ll get a good one. | 不 你只是切到了不好的一块 来 我给你切块好的 |
[16:58] | I guess the bakery must have messed up. | 我想一定是蛋糕店弄错了 |
[17:00] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么啊 |
[17:01] | Roger’s the one that added the food coloring. | 是Roger加的食用色素 |
[17:03] | Well, you mixed the batter. | 要这么说 还是你做的面糊呢 |
[17:05] | Wait, did you guys bake that cake? | 等等 是你们做的蛋糕吗 |
[17:07] | Well, we just, you could say that… | 那什么 我们只是 你可以那么说 |
[17:10] | Jake Jake? | |
[17:12] | Okay, fine. Yes, we baked it. | 好啦好啦 是的 我们做的蛋糕 |
[17:13] | I’m so sorry. I’ll explain everything later. | 我很抱歉 我待会儿可以把一切解释给你听 |
[17:15] | Dad, please stop cutting the cake. | 爸爸 能别再切蛋糕了吗 |
[17:16] | I’m trying to find a good slice. | 我在努力找块好的蛋糕 |
[17:17] | There is no good slice! You screwed it up! | 没有哪块是好的 你让这个蛋糕一团糟 |
[17:20] | You’re a screw-up! | 你就是个一团糟 |
[17:21] | Yeah? Well, if I’m a screw up, it’s ’cause you screwed me up. | 是吗 好 就算我是一团糟 也是你导致我一团糟的 |
[17:24] | You screw-up. | 你个一团糟 |
[17:24] | Screw you. I’m leaving. | 去你的 我要走了 |
[17:26] | Wait, wait, no, don’t go! We reversed the curse! | 等等 别 别走啊 我们逆转了诅咒 |
[17:28] | Don’t reverse the curse reverse! | 不要逆转我们逆转了的诅咒 |
[17:29] | Actually, Jake, I’m going too. | 事实上 Jake 我也要走了 |
[17:31] | What? No, why would you go? | 什么 不 为什么你要走 |
[17:32] | I need to go to the hospital. | 我得去医院 |
[17:34] | I cut my thumb off. | 我把我大拇指切下来了 |
[17:35] | – Again? – The other one. | – 又切掉了 – 另一个大拇指 |
[17:37] | – Oh, God. – Oh, God. | – 噢 天呐 – 噢 天呐 |
[17:40] | Ah… Get the “Dino Bites.” | 啊 去拿恐龙小鸡块 |
[17:45] | Hey, how are you feeling? How’s the thumb? | 嘿 你感觉怎么样 大拇指怎么样了 |
[17:48] | Great, looks perfect. Like nothing ever happened. | 很好 看上去很完美 就像什么都没发生过一样 |
[17:50] | It’s the other thumb, Dad. | 是另一只大拇指 爸 |
[17:51] | Oh, no, yeah, that looks bad. | 噢不 看起来的确很糟 |
[17:54] | The doctor said it might take a long time to heal, | 医生说可能要花很长时间才能痊愈 |
[17:55] | and that it might never be as long again. | 而且它会永远比以前短一截 |
[17:57] | My thumb? I don’t care. | 我的大拇指吗 我不在乎 |
[17:59] | – Is my dad here? – No. | – 我爸在这儿吗 – 不在 |
[18:01] | I called him and he said… | 我给他打电话了 他说 |
[18:05] | How do I put this? | 我该怎么说出口呢 |
[18:06] | That I’m a useless screw-up and he’s done with me? | 说我是个没用的一团糟废物 他已经受够了 |
[18:08] | Yeah, something exactly like that, verbatim, sure. | 对 这差不多就是他原话 一字不差那种 |
[18:11] | Look, I’m really sorry that I forced this whole reunion on you. | 听着 我很抱歉我强迫你们和好 |
[18:14] | I think our family might be cursed, | 我想我们家族可能真是被诅咒了 |
[18:16] | and I’m going to be a bad dad. | 我会成为一个不称职的爸爸 |
[18:17] | No, I was wrong. | 不 是我错了 |
[18:18] | There’s no curse. | 根本没什么诅咒 |
[18:20] | My dad is just a selfish dick. | 我爸就是个自私的混蛋 |
[18:22] | And I was too. | 我也是 |
[18:25] | All the other Peralta dads, | Peralta家其他的爸爸也是 |
[18:26] | we probably just learned it from each other. | 我们大概就是从彼此身上学到的 |
[18:28] | Or it’s just in our genes. | 或者这就是遗传的 |
[18:30] | No, you proved that wrong. | 不 你证明了那是错的 |
[18:32] | You care, and you do the work. | 你不仅在乎 还真的付出 |
[18:35] | You’re reading parenting books before your kid is even born. | 孩子还没出生你就在读育儿书籍了 |
[18:38] | You tried to get me and Dad back together. | 你试着让我和我爸和好如初 |
[18:41] | Hell, you even fished my thumb out of the cake. | 妈的 你甚至从蛋糕里把我的拇指摸出来了 |
[18:43] | Yeah, that was gross. | 没错 那挺恶心的 |
[18:44] | You’re so excited about having a kid, | 你因为有了宝宝而这么兴奋 |
[18:46] | you’re having a sex reveal party. | 还要举办性(别)揭晓派对 |
[18:48] | I never did anything like that, | 我从没做过这样的事情 |
[18:49] | except that one time in Amsterdam. | 除了那次在阿姆斯特丹的时候 |
[18:51] | I really wish you’d stop bringing that up. | 我真心希望你别再提这茬了 |
[18:52] | Jake, you’re going to be a great dad. | Jake 你会成为一个超棒的爸爸 |
[18:55] | And your son’s gonna love you. | 你的儿子会爱你的 |
[18:57] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
[18:59] | And I think you’re going to make a real good grandpa. | 我想你会成为一个很好的爷爷 |
[19:02] | Hey, | 嘿 |
[19:03] | who’s got two surgically reattached thumbs | 在座各位谁的两个大拇指都被重新缝合过 |
[19:06] | and is super proud of his son? | 还特别为自己的儿子感到骄傲 |
[19:08] | Oh, you don’t have to– | 噢 你大可不必 |
[19:10] | This guy– | 就是我 |
[19:15] | My boss is furious. | 我老板气炸了 |
[19:17] | You ruined my 25th birthday. | 你毁了我的25岁生日 |
[19:18] | I want those guys punished. | 我想让那些人受到处罚 |
[19:20] | Understood. I’ll talk to them right now. | 明白 我这就去和他们谈谈 |
[19:22] | Without that witness, the DA has nothing. | 没有那个证人 地检就一点证据也没有了 |
[19:24] | – Kurm is pissed. – It’s true. | – Kurm气死了 – 是真的 |
[19:26] | He kept calling you guys the human centipede. | 他一直把你们叫成人体蜈蚣 |
[19:27] | Because we have our heads up our asses. | 因为我们头都塞到屁股里了 |
[19:29] | Yes, we’ve heard that before. | 是的 你们已经讲过了 |
[19:30] | I never thought I’d say this, | 我从没想过我会说这个 |
[19:31] | but you guys did the right thing. | 但是你们做的对 |
[19:33] | Unfortunately, Kurm wants you disciplined. | 不幸的是 Kurm想要处罚你们 |
[19:34] | So effective tomorrow, | 所以从明天起 |
[19:36] | you’re each getting one week paid suspension. | 你们各将得到带薪停职一周的处分 |
[19:38] | Like vacation? | 意思是 放假 |
[19:39] | You deserve this punishment! | 你们活该受到处罚 |
[19:40] | It’s punishment where you don’t have to work. | 罚你们不用来上班 |
[19:42] | And we can go anywhere we like? | 那我们想去哪就去哪吗 |
[19:43] | You can go to hell for all I care! | 你们下地狱我也管不着 |
[19:45] | Or to a resort where you’re being scammed. | 或者去坑蒙拐骗的度假村 |
[19:47] | Figi. Good idea. | 斐齐 好主意 |
[19:48] | Now, get out of my face! | 好了 赶紧滚吧 |
[19:49] | Have fun. | 玩得开心 |
[19:53] | Next. | 下一个 |
[19:55] | Hi, my name is Terry Jeffords. | 嗨 我的名字是Terry Jeffords |
[19:58] | And I don’t know how this is going to go– | 我不知道结果会怎样 |
[20:00] | Wait! | 等一下 |
[20:01] | Sir. | 长官 |
[20:02] | I’m Captain Raymond Holt of the 99th precinct, | 我是99分局的Raymond Holt警监 |
[20:04] | and I need to tell you about this man. | 我得跟你们讲讲这个人的情况 |
[20:06] | Now, the audition piece he’s about to play | 他要表演的这个试镜曲目 |
[20:08] | may not be technically perfect. | 可能说不上完美 |
[20:09] | In fact, it may hurt your ears. | 事实上 可能会伤到你们的耳朵 |
[20:11] | You may consider it an insult to music. | 你们可能觉得那是对音乐的侮辱 |
[20:13] | You may whisper to each other, | 你们会彼此窃窃私语 |
[20:14] | “‘Muffin Man’? | “什么松饼师” |
[20:16] | More like Garbage Man.” | 更像是垃圾师” |
[20:17] | – Come on. – But you would be wrong. | – 拜托 – 但你们错了 |
[20:19] | This man has taught me something. | 这个男人给我上了一课 |
[20:21] | He’s taught me that music is about heart and soul. | 他让我知道音乐讲究的是心神和灵魂 |
[20:25] | It’s about perseverance. | 是不屈不挠的韧性 |
[20:27] | Despite everything I put him through, | 尽管我把他折腾得不轻 |
[20:30] | he showed up here today. | 他今天还是出现在这里 |
[20:32] | And you would be a fool not to put him in your band. | 如果不让他加入你们的乐队 你们就是在犯傻 |
[20:35] | Thank you, Captain. | 谢谢你 警监 |
[20:37] | Lieutenant? What instrument do you play? | 警督 你演奏什么乐器 |
[20:39] | – The flute. – You’re hired. | – 长笛 – 你被聘用了 |
[20:40] | What? I haven’t even played. | 什么 我还没开始表演呢 |
[20:42] | You’re the only flute who auditioned. | 你是唯一一个来试镜的长笛手 |
[20:43] | Welcome to the band. | 欢迎加入乐队 |
[20:44] | Yes! I did it! | 太好了 我成功了 |
[20:47] | Hey. How’s your dad doing? | 嘿 你爸怎么样了 |
[20:49] | Well, the doctor said he’ll be okay, | 医生说他没事 |
[20:50] | but his hands are basically claws now. | 不过他的手现在基本上就是两个钳子 |
[20:52] | I don’t know why they think that’s okay. | 我不知道为什么他们觉得这样没事 |
[20:53] | Hey, listen, I’m sorry the cake was green. | 听着 我很抱歉蛋糕是绿色的 |
[20:55] | It’s okay. | 没关系 |
[20:57] | I’ll love our little Shrek no matter what. | 不管怎样我都会爱我们的小绿色史莱克的 |
[20:59] | Oh, my God. That’s right. | 噢我的天啊 没错 |
[20:59] | You still don’t know the sex of the baby. | 你到现在还不知道宝宝的性别 |
[21:01] | With all the craziness, I almost forgot. | 发生了这么多疯狂的事情 我差点忘了 |
[21:03] | – Emphasis on “Almost.” – What? | – 强调一下 是”差点” – 什么 |
[21:04] | Well, I got another cake just for the two of us. | 是这样 我为我们俩又搞来一个蛋糕 |
[21:07] | Jake, that’s so sweet. | Jake 这真体贴 |
[21:09] | – Here we go. – I’m so excited. | – 来吧 – 我太兴奋了 |
[21:12] | It’s empty. There’s no cake inside. | 是空的 里面根本就没有蛋糕 |
[21:13] | What? Where’d it go? | 什么 它去哪了 |
[21:14] | Hey, guys. Do you have any milk? | 嘿 二位 你们有牛奶吗 |
[21:17] | We’re having a boy? | 我们要生男孩了吗 |
[21:18] | We’re having a boy! | 我们要生男孩了 |
[21:20] | Hey, do you have milk or not? | 嘿 你们到底有没有牛奶啊 |
[21:22] | – Jeez. – God. | – 噫 – 天啊 |