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神烦警探(Brooklyn Nine-Nine)第4季第8集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 神烦警探(Brooklyn Nine-Nine)第4季第8集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:00] I can’t believe they’re waxing the floors 真不敢相信他们在给地板打蜡
[00:02] and we’re all stuck in here. 而我们被困在了这里
[00:03] I’ve never seen them do this before. 以前从没见过他们打蜡
[00:05] They do it once a month. 他们每月打一次蜡
[00:06] We’ve just never been on the night shift. 只是我们从没上过夜班
[00:08] I know. It’s like we’re being punished. 我知道 就像我们在接受惩罚
[00:10] We are, for going to Florida. 就是在接受惩罚 因为去了佛罗里达
[00:12] Oh. I don’t listen to so much stuff you all say. 你们说那么多事情 我都没在听啊
[00:15] Well, frankly, I pity the lot of you. 老实说 我对你们所有人表示同情
[00:18] You look out there and see a problem. 你们看到的是麻烦
[00:20] I look out there and see an opportunity. 我看到的是机遇
[00:22] I’m gonna slide on that slippery floor 我将在滑溜溜的地板上滑行
[00:24] all the way from Holt’s office to the elevator. 从Holt的办公室一路滑到电梯
[00:27] You’re going to do the FBP? 你要做FBP吗
[00:29] That’s right, Rosa. 没错 Rosa
[00:30] I’m doing The Full Bullpen! 我要做完整的办公室滑行
[00:40] Here we go. 要开始咯
[01:06] No! 不
[01:08] What? 什么
[01:09] Oh, no! I can’t stop! 哦 不 我停不下来
[01:19] The Full Bullpen! 办公室滑行完成
[01:42] Those chuckleheads from the Nine-Five 那些95片区的笨蛋们
[01:43] are getting all cocky just ’cause they’re on TV. 因为上了电视就洋洋自得
[01:45] Uh, we’ve all been on the local news, fellas. 我们都上过本地新闻 小伙子们
[01:47] Okay. Which case of yours was on the news? 好吧 你哪个案子上了新闻
[01:50] Well, it wasn’t exactly a case. 那并不是真正意义上的案子
[01:51] Ska defines who I am as a person, 斯卡音乐定义了我生而为人的意义
[01:54] and I will never turn my back on ska. 我永远不会背叛斯卡音乐
[01:58] Looking back, I have no regrets. 回顾以往 我没有遗憾
[02:00] – You should. – Yup. – 你应该有 – 是的
[02:01] So why are the Nine-Five on the news? 所以95片区为什么上新闻
[02:02] They’re investigating death threats 他们在调查一起死亡威胁
[02:03] against some author named DC Parlov, 针对一个叫DC Parlov的作家的
[02:05] as if anyone knows who the hell that is. 就好像有人知道他特么的是谁一样
[02:07] DC Parlov? Did you say DC Parlov? DC Parlov 你是说DC Parlov
[02:11] What is happening? 这是哪一出
[02:11] DC Parlov is the most influential author of our time. DC Parlov是这个时代最有影响力的作家
[02:16] “The Skyfire Cycle!” <天火循环>
[02:18] 12 books chronicling the war between sky and sand, 12册书记录了天空与沙地的战争
[02:21] clouds and rocks, the Sepsidians and– 云朵与岩石的战争 瑟博希地人和
[02:23] Oh, so it’s like a “Game of Thrones” Type thing? 哦 类似<权力的游戏>这一类的吗
[02:25] No, “Game of Thrones” Is a “Skyfire” Type thing! 不 <权利的游戏>是<天火>这一类的
[02:28] Get your head out of your ass! 头脑清醒点好吗
[02:29] – Yeah, come on, Boyle. – I’m so sorry, guys. – 就是 Boyle – 非常抱歉 伙计们
[02:31] When I was a little kid, 当我还是个孩子的时候
[02:33] I spent hours reading those books. 花了很多时间读那些书
[02:35] Whoa. 哇哦
[02:36] Little Terry did not see that coming. 小Terry可没想到会这样
[02:38] I was overweight and lonely, 我那时超重又很孤独
[02:40] and I wrote DC Parlov for advice, 我写信给DC Parlov寻求建议
[02:42] and he sent me this! 然后他给我寄了这个
[02:43] I hope it’s not a severed head. 我希望不是一颗切下的头
[02:48] “The Skyfire Cycle: Sand Into Glass: <天火循环 点沙成玻璃
[02:51] The Reckoning of Ka’Lar.” Ka’Lar的审判>
[02:53] Man, that is a long book. 我去 那真是一本大部头的书
[02:54] Is the rest of it just more of the title? 剩下的是不是都是书名了
[02:56] It’s the book that started it all. 这本书是一切的开始
[02:58] And listen to the inscription he wrote. 听听他写的题词
[03:00] “Terry, you do have friends.” “Terry 你是有朋友的”
[03:03] Oh, boy. 天呐
[03:03] “You have me. Never forget that in this life, “你有我 永远别忘记这点
[03:07] we write our own stories. Parlov.” 我们来书写我们自己的故事 Parlov”
[03:11] And that’s what happened. 这就是接下来的故事
[03:13] Little Terry wrote his own story. 小Terry写了他自己的故事
[03:15] Yeah, Little Terry got buff-a! 小Terry变得健美咯
[03:17] Little Terry got emotionally healthy. 小Terry心理变得健康了
[03:20] Yeah, and ja-a-acked. 而且变得好健壮哦
[03:22] You know what? 你知道吗
[03:23] He did get jacked. 他确实变得强壮了
[03:25] Way to go, Little Terry. 加油 小Terry
[03:27] Big pecs coming through! 胸大肌来了
[03:28] Ah. 哇啊
[03:30] There we go. 非常好
[03:32] I’m going to get us that case. Terry’s gonna meet his hero. 我要为我们争取这个案子 Terry就能见他的偶像了
[03:35] Oh, no, never meet your heroes. 哦 不 永远别见你的偶像
[03:38] Marie Callender was a real bitch. Marie Callender是个十足的贱人
[03:41] Oh, check it out. Our squad has doubled 来看看 我们小队已经
[03:45] the number of arrests on the night shift. 把夜班逮捕的罪犯数量翻番了
[03:46] Yeah, no one cares, okay? 恩 没人关心这个 好吗
[03:48] I need to talk to you about this Boyle family vacation 我需要和你谈谈这个我妈逼我参加的
[03:51] that my mom’s forcing me to go on. 什么Boyle家庭旅行
[03:52] Why is it in Butt Thumb, Iowa? 为什么要去爱荷华州的”屁股拇指”
[03:54] No, it’s pronounced “Beaut-hume,” 不 那叫”美丽休姆”
[03:56] And Iowa is the ancestral homeland of the Boyle clan. 爱荷华州是Boyle家族的故乡
[03:59] I am so excited for you to get to know all of the cousins. 我很兴奋你要认识所有的表亲了
[04:02] Watch out for Sherman. 小心Sherman
[04:03] He’s left a trail of broken hearts 那些为他而碎的心的痕迹
[04:04] longer than his ponytail. 比他的马尾辫还要长
[04:06] Boyle, can we please just go to a resort Boyle 我们可以就去一个度假酒店
[04:07] where I don’t have to see your family? 而我也不用见你的家族吗
[04:09] There’s a great one in Aruba. 阿鲁巴岛上就有一家很棒的
[04:10] Aruba? 阿鲁巴岛
[04:12] Boyles don’t do beaches. Boyle家的人不去海滩
[04:13] We’re not swimmers. We’re burrowers. 我们不是水里游的 我们是住在洞里的
[04:16] Yes, I know, you’re all earthworms, 是的 我知道 你们都是蚯蚓
[04:17] but, Charles, even nature’s most disgusting creatures 但是 Charles 就算是自然界最恶心的生物
[04:21] deserve pleasure. 也应该享受
[04:23] Come to Aruba. 去阿鲁巴岛吧
[04:24] Sorry, the cousins voted and it was unanimous. 抱歉 表亲们投过票了 并无异议
[04:27] We’re going to Iowa. We’ve already rented the tent. 我们要去爱荷华州 我们已经租好帐篷了
[04:30] “Tent” Singular? “帐篷” 单数吗
[04:32] Charles, “Tent” Singular? Charles 就只有一个”帐篷” 吗
[04:35] Diaz Santiago Diaz, Santiago,
[04:36] settle a little tiff that Kevin and I are having. 来平息Kevin和我之间的拌嘴
[04:38] Let’s be honest, Raymond, it’s not a tiff, it’s a row. 说实话 Raymond 这不是拌嘴 是争吵
[04:41] And now it’s a scene. 现在就是一出闹剧了
[04:42] It’s okay, sir, we don’t want to get involved 没关系 长官 我们不想介入
[04:44] in your personal life. 你的私人生活
[04:45] It’s not personal. It’s a math problem. 这不是私人的 是道数学题
[04:46] – Oh, Mama. – Pass. – 哦 妈呀 – 拒绝
[04:47] Raymond and I had dinner together last night 昨晚是这两个星期以来Raymond和我
[04:49] for the first time in two weeks, thanks to the night shift. 第一次一起吃晚饭 多亏了夜班
[04:51] And Kevin thought it would be fun to spoil our date Kevin认为用一道无意义的数学题来毁了我们的约会
[04:53] with an inane math problem, to which his answer is wrong. 是件有趣的事 这道题他还答错了
[04:57] Enough foreplay, let’s get to the numbers. 前戏够了 我们来做题吧
[04:58] It’s the “Monty Hall problem.” Imagine you’re on a game show. 就是蒙提霍尔的三门问题 想象你参加一个游戏节目
[05:01] There are three doors, behind one of which is a car. 有三扇门 其中一扇后面有一辆车
[05:04] You’re telling it wrong. 你说错了
[05:05] There are three doors, behind one of which is a car. 有三扇门 其中一扇后面有一辆车
[05:07] You pick a door. 你选一扇门
[05:08] The host, who knows where the car is, opens a different door, 知道车在哪里的主持人打开另一扇门
[05:11] showing you there’s nothing behind it. 给你看那里没东西
[05:12] Now the host asks if you’d like to choose 现在主持人问你是否要改选
[05:14] the other unopened door. Should you do it? 另一扇没打开的门 你该怎么做
[05:16] = No. – Yes. – 不换 – 换
[05:17] It’s simple math. 这是个简单的数学题
[05:18] It doesn’t make any sense to switch. 这个时候换完全没有意义
[05:20] The prize is behind one of two doors. 奖品就在两扇门其中一扇的后面
[05:22] It’s a 50/50 chance either way. 选哪扇都是一半的机会
[05:24] It’s 2/3 if you switch, 1/3 if you don’t. 如果你换就是三分之二的机会 不换是三分之一
[05:26] The probability locks in when you make the choice. 你做选择的时候几率就固定了
[05:28] We’ve been over this eight times. 我们已经争了8次了
[05:29] Seven times. 7次
[05:30] Now you can’t even do simple addition. 现在你都不会做简单的加法了
[05:32] Kevin is right. Kevin是对的
[05:34] You’re fired. 你被开除了
[05:35] What? 什么
[05:37] Hey, Sarge, great news. 嘿 警长 天大的好消息
[05:40] The guys at the Nine-Five gave us the DC Parlov case. 95片区的人把DC Parlov的案子给我们了
[05:43] No big deal, you don’t have to thank me. 不是什么大事 你不用谢我
[05:45] – Give it back. – You’re welcome. – 还回去 – 不用谢
[05:46] – Wait, what? – This is a bad idea, Jake. – 等等 什么 – 这是个坏主意 Jake
[05:48] I don’t want to meet him. 我不想见他
[05:49] Oh, I see. You’re nervous to meet your hero. 我明白了 你要见你偶像了所以很紧张
[05:52] Look, I get it. One time I saw Patrick Ewing at a deli, 听着 我懂的 有一次我在熟食店见到Patrick Ewing
[05:55] and I was so scared I almost left, 我超级害怕 差点就走了
[05:57] but I stayed. I worked up my courage, 但是我留下了 鼓起了勇气
[05:59] I walked over to him and I introduced myself, 走到他面前 做了自我介绍
[06:01] and you know what he said to me? 你知道他对我说了什么吗
[06:03] “Hey.” “嘿”
[06:05] – That’s it? – It’s Patrick Ewing, he’s busy! – 就这样吗 – 那可是Patrick Ewing啊 他很忙的
[06:08] Give him the benefit of the doubt, Sarge. 别把人想得那么糟糕嘛 警长
[06:10] Come on, you’re braver than this. 拜托 你可没这么胆小
[06:12] Just tell him how meaningful the note he wrote you was. 就告诉他他写给你的话是多么的有意义
[06:15] People love knowing that they changed someone’s life. 人们喜欢知道自己改变了别人的生活
[06:16] I mean, why do you think I’m doing this for you? 你觉得我为什么帮你做这些
[06:18] This isn’t about me. 这跟我毫无关系
[06:19] No. 不要
[06:20] That was 30 years ago. 这都是30年前的事了
[06:21] He won’t remember, and I’ll feel silly. 他不会记得的 然后我会觉得自己很蠢
[06:23] Well, we’re about to find out. 我们马上就能知道了
[06:25] Parlov just walked in. Parlov刚走进来了
[06:26] Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God! 天呐天呐天呐
[06:28] All right, just breathe. 没事的 深呼吸
[06:29] Stop fanning your armpits like that. 别那样扇动你的胳肢窝
[06:31] Oh, good Lord! Keep fanning them! 哦 我去 继续扇吧
[06:33] Keep fanning them! Oh. 继续扇吧
[06:35] Mr. Parlov. Welcome to the Nine-Nine. Parlov先生 欢迎来到99片区
[06:37] Well, thank you very much. 谢谢
[06:39] I’m a little curious about why my case got reassigned. 我有点好奇我的案子为何被重新分配了
[06:41] Is there some problem? 是有什么问题吗
[06:42] Quite the opposite. 恰恰相反
[06:42] The top brass just wanted New York’s best detective on it. 只是上层想要纽约最好的警探来办这个案子
[06:45] Allow me to introduce Mister Sergeant Terry Jeffords. 允许我介绍Terry Jeffords警长先生
[06:52] Sarge? 警长
[06:53] Hi. 嗨
[06:54] Uh-oh. Terry, you want to come out here 啊哦 Terry你想要出来
[06:56] and help me take Mr. Parlov’s statement? 帮我给Parlov先生做笔录吗
[07:01] He usually stands much taller than that. 通常情况下他站起来比这要高得多
[07:03] Anyway, tell us about these death threats you’ve been getting. 不管怎样 告诉我们那些你收到的死亡威胁
[07:05] Any idea who might be sending them? 你觉得可能是谁发的呢
[07:06] Well, I’m pretty sure that it had to be a fan. 我很确定是某个书迷
[07:08] I’ve had a little bit of a backlash 我的一些年轻男性读者
[07:10] from some of my younger male readers 对我有抵制情绪
[07:11] ever since I revealed the fact 就自从我揭露了
[07:13] that Qwandor the dragon is actually a female. 真龙Qwandor实际是个女性的事实
[07:15] I would think teen boys would love a lady dragon, 我以为青春期男孩会喜欢龙女
[07:17] Did you give her big, scaly boobs, or– 你有给她有鳞的大乳房吗 或者
[07:19] I don’t know, you’re the writer. 我不知道 你是作者
[07:20] Qwandor is not a sexual being. Qwandor不是一个体现性的角色
[07:22] For she is the ender of bloodlines. 因为她是血统的终结者
[07:25] All mortals tremble before her wrath. 在她的愤怒面前 所有凡人都战栗了
[07:29] – “Skyfire” Fan? – Oh, I’m more than a fan. – “天火”书迷 – 我不只是个书迷
[07:31] Whoever wrote this has got nothing on me. 不管写这个的是谁都不能和我比
[07:33] Uh, he’s not a killer. 他不是个杀手
[07:35] Tell him about the inscription. 告诉他那个题词
[07:37] You probably don’t remember, but 30 years ago, 你大概不记得了 但是30年前
[07:39] I wrote you a letter telling you how lonely and sad I was, 我给你写过信告诉你我有多孤独和悲伤
[07:42] and you sent me a book with the inscription, 然后你送了这本带题词的书给我
[07:44] “We all write our own stories,” And it changed my life. “我们来书写我们自己的故事” 这句话改变了我的一生
[07:47] – I do remember you. – You do? – 我记得你 – 真的吗
[07:49] I do indeed, and I’m delighted you made something of yourself. 对 而且我很高兴能看见你已成大器
[07:52] As the Cloud Rock says 正如Cloud Rock所说
[07:55] “You found yourself in your struggle.” “于逆境中发现真我”
[07:58] Wow. 哇哦
[07:59] “The truth is what you came for, “为真理而来
[08:01] and you found it within your strife.” 其亦生于抗争之中”
[08:04] Well, that was cool. 厉害了
[08:06] – “Be brave for Tolgan.” – There’s more. – “为Tolgan而勇敢” – 还有呢
[08:08] “Tolgan the last, Tolgan the first, Tolgan.” “始于Tolgan 终于Tolgan Tolgan”
[08:13] “Tolgan.” “Tolgan.”
[08:15] Is it over? 结束了吗
[08:16] Yes. This is the best day of my life. 结束了 今天是我这辈子中最开心的一天
[08:19] You have three kids, Terry. 你可是三个孩子他爹啊 Terry
[08:20] I said what I said! 我就要这么说
[08:21] All right. 好吧
[08:24] – Cousin Sam! – Chucky! – Sam表哥 – 小查查
[08:26] Up high. 上上
[08:27] Down low. 下下
[08:28] Butts! Butts! Butts! 撞 撞 撞
[08:29] Oh, man, I love this shirt. Where’d you get that? 我的天 我超爱你这件衣服 哪买的呀
[08:31] Mervyn’s. 莫文百货商场
[08:34] Gina, get your rear over here. Gina麻溜的快过来
[08:36] Sam, you’ve gotta meet Gina. Sam 你必须得认识认识Gina
[08:38] Oh, already did. She took me out for dinner. 我已经认识她了 她还带我去吃晚餐了呢
[08:40] Yeah, I just wanted to get to know Sam better, 嗯 我只想多了解了解Sam
[08:42] and talk about the upcoming vacation. 聊聊即将到来的假期安排
[08:44] I got him his favorite egg salad on white, 我给他点了他最爱的鸡蛋白沙拉
[08:47] bowl of cottage cheese 外加一份茅屋芝士
[08:48] Hard boiled egg on the side. 边上配着全熟煮鸡蛋
[08:50] Oh, no. 噢 不
[08:51] Oh, yes. 噢 棒
[08:53] Turns out Sam here also thinks we should go to Aruba. 聊着聊着发现 原来Sam也认为我们该去阿鲁巴岛
[08:56] N–I know it sounds crazy, 听起来是挺疯狂的
[08:58] but the Caribbean might be more fun than Iowa. 但是加勒比应该比爱荷华州更有趣呀
[09:01] In what universe? 在另一个世界吗
[09:02] I’d tell you to pack sunscreen, but– 我想让你带防晒霜来着
[09:04] Mm, looks like you already got burned. 不过你看起来已经被”黑”了
[09:07] Uh-oh, did I? 哦 是吗
[09:09] ‘Cause my skin still tastes pretty raw. 那我怎么舔起来还感觉是细皮嫩肉的呢
[09:11] – Ew. – Sorry, vote’s in. – 噫 恶心 – 抱歉 唱票结束
[09:12] 13-2, Iowa. 13比2 还是去爱荷华
[09:14] For now, but I have a whole day 暂时而已 我今天一整天
[09:17] of Boyle cousins scheduled, starting with Bobby Boyle 都和你的表亲们有安排 从Bobby Boyle开始
[09:20] At 3 o’clock for afternoon eggs. 下午三点吃下午茶鸡蛋餐
[09:23] You think you can pick us off one-by-one? 你以为你能将我们各个击破吗
[09:25] – Yeah. – Well, you can. – 对 – 好吧 你确实可以
[09:28] Boyles are very weak as individuals. 咱们家的人单独看来确实不堪一击
[09:30] But, together, we’re unbreakable. 可一旦团结起来却坚不可摧
[09:32] I’m calling a council of the cousins! 我得跟我的表亲们开个紧急电话会议
[09:34] I’m scared! Just kidding. Come on, Sam. 我好怕怕呀 开玩笑 咱们走吧 Sam
[09:37] Sam, stay. Sam 不许走
[09:38] – Sam, come. – Sam, stay. – Sam走 – Sam不许走
[09:40] Come on, Sam. Sam快走
[09:41] – Sam, stay. – Come on. – Sam不许走 – 快来呀
[09:43] – Come on. – Stay. – 走 – 不许走
[09:45] – Come on. – Stay. – 走 – 不许走
[09:46] All right, let’s get on this case. 咱们赶紧分析案子吧
[09:49] I can’t let my hero die. 我可千万不能让我的英雄死了
[09:50] Great. Parlov is in town for a reading of his new book, 好 Parlov来这镇上是为了他的新书读书会
[09:53] “The Skyfire Cycle: A Bridge to Jarcata.” “天火循环: 桥通雅加达”
[09:56] Ah, ah. It’s actually pronounced “Jarca-a.” 不对 其实是读”雅加阿”
[09:59] All the T’s in “Skyfire” Are silent. 这本书里所有的”T”都不发音
[10:01] This book sounds impossible to read. 这本书听起来压根没法读啊
[10:02] I know, right? 我知道 厉害吧
[10:03] Okay. All the death threats were sent from New York, 好吧 所有的死亡威胁都是从纽约发出去的
[10:05] so the perp is local. They’ll probably try and strike 所以罪犯应该是本地人 他们可能打算
[10:07] at the book reading tomorrow night. 在明晚的读书会上动手
[10:08] And he’s probably camped out on the street 凶手可能会像其他的书迷一样
[10:10] with the other fan boys. 在街边搭帐篷蹲点
[10:11] They’ve been lined up for three days. 他们已经排了三天的队了
[10:12] To listen to an old man read a story? 就为了听一个老男人讲故事吗
[10:15] I will never understand this world. 我真是很难理解这个世界
[10:16] You once took a train to Toronto to get 你以前还特地坐火车去多伦多
[10:17] a Canadian VHS copy of “Die Hard.” 就为了拿一盘加拿大录像带版本的<虎胆龙威>呢
[10:19] There was a rumor it was better sound quality. 有谣言说那盘带子音质更好呢
[10:21] Get a grip, Terry. 控制一下自己吧 Terry
[10:22] We just need a way to compare the fans’ handwriting 我们得想个办法能把粉丝的字迹
[10:25] to the death threats. 跟死亡威胁信的字迹做对比
[10:27] Oh! We get them to sign a petition 我知道了 我们让粉丝们签一封请愿书
[10:29] to make Qwandor the dragon a male. 希望把Qwandor之龙画成男性
[10:31] Ooh, “Smorf.” 噢 机智啊
[10:32] But are we going to fit in there dressed like this? 可是我们穿成这样能混进人群里吗
[10:34] No. No, we’re not. 当然混不进
[10:46] Sign our petition to make Qwandor the dragon a male! 请签这封请愿书吧 让Qwandor之龙变成男性
[10:50] There are already enough girl characters. 书里女性角色够多了
[10:52] We don’t need a third! 不需要再加上那第三个
[10:56] Good evening, sir. 长官 晚上好
[10:57] No, it’s not. I haven’t slept, 不 不好 我一直没睡
[10:58] because I’ve been going over that stupid problem. 我脑子里一直在想那个傻逼问题
[11:00] Now I finally understand Kevin’s side. 我终于搞明白了Kevin的想法
[11:02] Cool, so it’s all better 好啊 真棒
[11:04] and I never have to hear about math again? 所以我再也不用听到数学了是吗
[11:05] Quite the opposite. 恰恰相反
[11:06] I know better than ever how incorrect he is. 我想通了他到底错在哪
[11:09] Probability doesn’t kick in. 这概率压根不管用
[11:10] Do I have to teach you college level statistics? 难不成我还得教你大学统计学吗
[11:12] I don’t know, do I have to teach you high school statistics? 不知道啊 难不成我还得叫你高中统计学吗
[11:14] Do I have to teach you eighth grade statistics? 难不成我还得叫你初二统计学吗
[11:16] Do I have to teach you seventh grade statistics? 难不成我还得叫你初一统计学吗
[11:18] Do I have to teach you– 难不成我还得教你
[11:20] Now, if you’ll excuse me, detectives, 警探们 我先失陪一会
[11:21] I need to leave him a snide voicemail 我得给他电话留言说个关于幼儿园统计学的东西
[11:22] about kindergarten statistics. 嘲讽他一下
[11:27] Okay, we have got to explain this thing to Captain Holt 我们得跟Holt警监好好解释一下这件事
[11:29] to save their relationship. 拯救一下他们的爱情
[11:31] And you laughed at me when I went 我当初整个周末去参加数学大会的时候
[11:32] to that weekend-long math conference. 你还嘲笑我呢
[11:34] ‘Cause you called it 因为你管它们叫
[11:35] “Funky cats and their feisty stats.” “流行函数与活力统计”
[11:36] That was the name! It was so cool. 那就是会议的名字啊 太酷了
[11:38] It was not. Anyway, it’s not about the math. 才不是 再说了 这跟数学压根没关系
[11:40] They haven’t seen each other because of the night shift. 他们是因为警监改上夜班才没有好好相处
[11:42] They just need to bone. 他们需要”日”久生情
[11:43] What? Gross! Rosa, those are our dads! 真恶心 Rosa 他们可都是咱爹啊
[11:46] I mean-That’s not what I think. 虽然我不是这么想的
[11:48] Captain Dad is just my boss. 警监爸爸他只是我的上级
[11:50] Never mind, I’m teaching father the math! 不管了 我得去教咱爸数学
[11:53] Whatever, Rosa. 管你怎么想 Rosa
[11:55] To be honest, Terry, I’m feeling a little lame out here. 说实话 Terry 我在这显得太弱了
[11:57] I mean, you got this cool sword, 你看 你有一把这么帅的剑
[11:58] and I’m wearing what, a potato sack? 我呢 就穿着一件装土豆的袋子吗
[12:00] You’re my noble squire. 你是我高贵的侍从啊
[12:01] You should be thankful for that burlap, 你应该感谢这件麻布袋子
[12:03] it’s hiding your terrible failed castration. 它把你失败的阉割手术完美的掩饰了过去
[12:05] Oh, my God, I hate these books. 我的天 我真讨厌这些书
[12:07] Are you the guys passing out the Qwandor petition? 是你们在分发Qwandor之龙的请愿书吗
[12:09] Yup, that’s us. Dragons have dongs. 是 是我们 龙就该有丁丁
[12:10] You bet they do. 必须的
[12:12] And this isn’t about sexism. 这和性别歧视无关
[12:14] I mean, it’s just that women aren’t strong enough to be dragons. 我意思是 女人还没有强到可以当龙
[12:16] Now, handeth me yon “Petish.” 把里的”请愿酥”给我
[12:19] Okay. 好
[12:20] “Petish” Handeth yon’d. “请愿酥”给里
[12:21] This is a start, but if you really want Parlov to hear you, 这只是个开始 如果你真的想让Parlov听你的话
[12:26] you’re gonna have to send a message in blood. 你就得写一封血书
[12:31] I think we’ve got a suspect. 我认为我们找到嫌疑人了
[12:34] Let’s ride. 走吧
[12:35] Whoa, that’s very heavy. 这剑太沉了
[12:37] Halitosis Frodo’s got to be our guy, right? 那口臭的Frodo肯定就是我们要找的人 对吧
[12:39] Oh, yeah. 是的
[12:41] “A message in blood” Is a reference to book one. “血书”在第一本书里面提到过
[12:43] Page 843. 第843页
[12:45] After Wendivil betrayed Prince Clevang, murdered him, Wendivil背叛Clevang公主后 她杀了他
[12:48] and used his blood to write letters to his children. 还用他的血写了一封信给他的后裔
[12:50] Do you talk about this stuff with Sharon? 你跟Sharon会聊这些吗
[12:52] No. She hates it. 不聊 她不喜欢这个
[12:53] Yeah, makes sense. 嗯 我明白
[12:54] Uh, This writing doesn’t match up. 字迹不符
[12:56] I’m gonna send it to the lab anyway. 我还是会把这个送去实验室分析
[12:57] Yeah, I don’t think that’s necessary. 嗯 但我觉得没什么必要
[12:58] Why not? 为什么
[12:59] Because I just found a perfect match. 因为我找到了字迹相符的人
[13:02] Parlov wrote the death threats. He sent them to himself. Parlov写的这封死亡威胁信 然后寄给自己
[13:06] Terry did not see that coming. Terry没猜中这结局
[13:09] And that is a perfect match. 确实是相符
[13:12] This is crazy. 太疯狂了
[13:13] Why would Parlov send himself a death threat? 为什么Parlov要给自己寄威胁信
[13:16] For publicity? I mean, he was on TV. 为了宣传自己吧 他现在可是上了电视的人
[13:18] His book is on the best-seller list 这么多年 他的书可是头一回
[13:19] for the first time in years. 登上畅销书排行榜
[13:20] Parlov doesn’t need any help. 可是Parlov不需要这些啊
[13:22] He’s already famous, rich. 他已经很火很有钱了
[13:24] He’s got more babes than he can handle. 他的女人 玩都玩不过来
[13:25] Come on, that guy? 拜托 就那个老男人
[13:26] Now you’re just lying to prove a point. 你这么做只是在自欺欺人
[13:28] He pulls, Jake. He pulls. 他很牛逼啊 Jake 他真的牛逼
[13:30] Ugh. Look, I know how it is. 挺好 我懂你的想法
[13:32] It can be disappointing to meet your hero. 与心中英雄见面 感到失望是正常的
[13:34] I mean, just like me and Patrick Ewing. 就像我与Patrick Ewing见面时一样
[13:36] – You said that went great. – I lied. It was a disaster. – 你不是说很棒吗 – 我骗人的 简直灾难
[13:38] Excuse me, Mr. Ewing, my name is Jake Per– 你好 Ewing先生 我是Jake Per
[13:40] Oh, no! 噢不
[13:42] – Hey! – You’re my favorite player. – 喂 – 你是我最爱的选手
[13:44] You pantsing Patrick Ewing has nothing to do with this. 你扒Patrick Ewing的裤子和我这件事一点关系都没有
[13:47] It doesn’t? Oh, my God, why did I share that story? 是吗 我的天 早知道我就不告诉你这个故事了
[13:50] There is no way Parlov sent himself that death threat. Parlov是绝对不可能自己给自己寄死亡威胁信的
[13:52] Look, we are gonna go to his hotel, 我们现在就到他的宾馆去
[13:54] we’re gonna talk to him, and he’ll have an explanation. 去找他问问 他肯定会给出一个合理的解释
[13:56] – Whatever you need. – Screw you, Peralta! – 随便你 – 去你大爷的Peralta
[13:58] I’m sorry, I thought you were gonna disagree. 不好意思 我以为你会拒绝我呢
[14:00] Thank you for your support. It really means a lot to me. 谢谢你的支持 这对我来说意义重大
[14:05] Is everything okay, Santiago? Santiago 一切都还好吗
[14:07] – No, I lost my ring. – Did you see where it went? – 不 我的戒指丢了 – 你看见它往哪滚去了吗
[14:10] Actually… 其实
[14:12] it’s behind one of these three doors. 戒指就在其中一个门后面
[14:15] Why don’t you pick one? 你选一个吧
[14:16] Are you trying to Monty Hall me? 你打算跟我玩三门问题吗
[14:19] It’s unbelievable. 简直无法置信
[14:20] I don’t need Monty Hall ruining my place of work 我不需要三门问题再来摧毁我的上班生活
[14:22] when Monty Hall has already ruined my home life. 因为它已经毁了我的家庭生活
[14:25] Come on, sir, the math thing isn’t the problem. 别这样 长官 数学根本不是问题的根源
[14:27] Night shift’s keeping you and Kevin apart. 是夜班使你与Kevin越走越远
[14:29] You two just need to bone. 你们需要”日”久生情
[14:31] – What did you say? – Don’t say it again. – 你刚说什么 – 别说了
[14:32] I said you two need to bone. 我说 你们需要上床
[14:35] How…dare you, Detective Diaz. 你怎么敢这么说 Diaz警探
[14:39] I am your superior officer! 我是你的上级长官
[14:42] Bone! 上床
[14:43] What happens in my bedroom, Detective, 我卧室里发生了什么 警探
[14:45] is none of your business. 不关你的事
[14:47] Bone?! 上床
[14:49] Don’t ever speak to me like that again. 别再那样对我说话
[14:54] Why did you do that? 你为什么那么做
[14:56] Dude was pent up. Now he knows. 之前太压抑 现在他明白了
[14:57] Problem solved. 问题解决
[15:01] The council of the cousins. 表亲理事会
[15:03] Look at them. It’s like a Beige of Pigs. 看他们 就像一群米色的行尸走猪
[15:06] Gina, you seem rattled. Gina 你看上去很慌张
[15:08] You don’t normally make puns. 你通常不说双关语
[15:09] That’s a pun? On what? 那是双关吗 关于什么
[15:11] Listen, Charles, I’m gonna sway the council. 听着 Charles 我将要撼动理事会
[15:14] So give up now unless you enjoy being humiliated 除非你享受在你家族面前被羞辱
[15:16] in front of your family. 否则现在就放弃吧
[15:18] Oh, you think I’d be embarrassed in front of them? 你认为我在他们面前会感到尴尬吗
[15:20] In front of Don Boyle? I changed his diapers. 在Don Boyle面前吗 我可给他换过尿布
[15:24] And I’m about to change yours. 而且我将要给你换
[15:27] Hello, cousins. 你们好 表亲们
[15:29] Bobby Brendan Bill Bobby, Brendan, Bill,
[15:30] Bernard, boy Corey, girl Corey. Bernard 男Corey 女Corey
[15:32] Papa Boyle once said: “Stay in the middle. Boyle爸比曾经说过 “待在中部
[15:37] “That’s where it’s safe. “那是安全的地方
[15:39] “That’s where we thrive. “那是我们兴旺的地方
[15:40] That’s…Iowa.” 那就是 爱荷华州
[15:42] Charles will have you believe that Charles让你们相信
[15:44] Aruba isn’t for the Boyles, but picture this: 阿鲁巴岛不适合Boyle家族 但想象一下
[15:49] one long banana boat with the 15 of us on it, 我们中的15个人一起坐在一条长香蕉船上
[15:52] holding each other by the waist, 抓着彼此的腰
[15:54] having the time of our damn lives. 享受我们这该死的生活
[15:57] Do we really wanna go 我们真的想去
[15:59] – where “Pirates of the Caribbean” took place? – Yes! – <加勒比海盗>的事发地吗 – 当然
[16:01] – Yes! – No! – 是的 – 不是的
[16:03] That movie gave us nightmares for months! 那部电影让我们做了几个月的噩梦
[16:06] Y’all know I got y’all aqua socks! 我给你们都准备了水用袜子
[16:09] Oh! Size 7s for everybody. 大家都是7码
[16:11] In conclusion, Boyles are nothing if not loyal. 总之 Boyle家的人如果不忠诚就一无是处
[16:15] Loyal to our favorite brand of peanut butter, Mr. Nuts. 对我们最喜欢的花生酱品牌 花生先生的忠诚
[16:19] Loyal to each other and loyal to Iowa. 对彼此忠诚 对爱荷华州忠诚
[16:23] – I love you. – I love you. – 我爱你们 – 我们爱你
[16:25] I’m Gina Linetti, and I approve this message. 我是Gina Linetti 我批准以下内容
[16:30] I love you. 我爱你们
[16:31] I love you. 我们爱你
[16:33] I love you too. 我也爱你们
[16:34] You guys both did so good. 你们俩都表现得很好
[16:37] I think we’ll sleep on it and we’ll vote in the morning. 我认为我们要考虑一晚上 明早投票
[16:40] Council adjourned. 休会
[16:41] – I love you. – I love you. – 我爱你们 – 我爱你们
[16:46] Hey. 嘿
[16:47] What’s up guys? 有什么事吗
[16:47] Look, I’m sorry, I’m a little busy right now. 很抱歉 我现在有点忙
[16:49] I’ve some female companions over, you know. 我在招待几个女性同伴
[16:51] Oh, really? What are they, 真的吗 她们是什么样的
[16:52] like, some nerdy sci-fi fans, or– 几个书呆子样的科幻小说迷 还是
[16:55] Good Lord! 我勒个去
[16:57] I don’t know what I’m looking at. 我不知道我现在看到的是什么
[16:58] I told you, man, he pulls. He pu-u-ulls. 我告诉过你 他很红 他很红
[17:02] Okay, stop saying “Pulls.” 好了 别再说”红”了
[17:03] Mr. Parlov, we have to talk to you. Parlov先生 我们需要和你谈谈
[17:05] Now, we’re not accusing you of anything. 我们不是在指控你什么
[17:07] We just want to ask a few questions. 只是想问一些问题
[17:09] You know, we’re probably wrong. 你知道的 我们很有可能搞错了
[17:10] – We should just go. – Sarge, no. – 我们还是走吧 – 警长 别
[17:12] God, you’re strong! 靠 你好强壮
[17:13] Mr. Parlov, did you send yourself Parlov先生 你是不是为了宣传
[17:15] those death threats for publicity? 给自己寄了这些死亡威胁
[17:16] Are you kidding me? 你在开玩笑吗
[17:18] I have no need for publicity. 我根本不需要宣传
[17:19] The handwriting in the death threats 死亡威胁里的笔迹
[17:20] matches perfectly with the inscription you wrote to Terry. 与你写给Terry的题词里的笔迹完全匹配
[17:23] Yeah, tell you the truth, 好吧 告诉你们真相
[17:24] I didn’t actually write this inscription myself. 那份题词根本不是我自己写的
[17:27] What? 什么
[17:28] Come on, you guys, grow up. 拜托 小伙子们 别傻了
[17:29] You think I have time to answer 你觉得我有时间回复
[17:30] each letter I get from every sad little fat kid that writes me? 每一封难过的胖小男孩写给我的信吗
[17:33] Come on. That’s why I’ve got assistants, 这就是我需要助手的原因
[17:35] precisely for that sort of crap. 就为了这些垃圾事情
[17:36] But you said you remembered me. 但是你说你记得我
[17:37] Because you were the cop assigned to my case. 因为你是负责我案子的警察
[17:39] Look, I didn’t want to piss you off. 听着 我不想惹毛你
[17:41] The man you’re looking for, he’s my ex-assistant. 你们要找的那个人 是我的前助手
[17:43] His name is Edmund Grail. 叫Edmund Grail
[17:45] The guy hates me. 那家伙很恨我
[17:46] I slept with his wife, 我睡了他老婆
[17:47] so naturally, I had to fire him. 所以理所当然 我得炒了他
[17:48] Yeah, that’s a cool story. 这故事真酷
[17:49] After that, I got sort of involved with his sister. 从那以后 我和他妹妹扯上了关系
[17:51] – It was kind of hot – Please stop talking. – 打得有点火热 – 麻烦别说了
[17:53] Fine. 好吧
[17:54] I have a little bit of research to attend to myself, 我还有点研究要做
[17:57] if you understand what I’m talking about. 如果你明白我在说什么的话
[17:58] Enjoy having sex with three gorgeous women in cosplay. 享受和三个在角色扮演的美女上床吧
[18:01] Well, that went terribly. 好吧 事情发展得很难看
[18:05] I’m so sorry. 我很抱歉
[18:06] Do you need a moment alone 你需要独处一会吗
[18:07] or you want to talk about it or– 还是你想聊一聊 还是
[18:10] Yep yep. That works, too. 好吧 好吧 那也有用
[18:13] Hey, good news. 好消息
[18:14] I found the address of Parlov’s old assistant. 我找到了Parlov前助手的地址
[18:16] I’m gonna go over there and question him. 我要去那里审问他
[18:17] You want to come? 你要一起吗
[18:19] Maybe he won’t open the door 可能他不会开门
[18:21] and you’ll have to kick it down. 然后就需要你把门踢开
[18:22] That always cheers you up. 这通常能让你振作
[18:23] I don’t feel like kicking down doors. 我现在没踢门的心情
[18:25] What about running really fast through a wall, 那快速冲破一道墙
[18:27] leaving a perfect outline of your body? 留下你身体完美的轮廓怎么样
[18:28] Like a cartoon? 像动画片里一样吗
[18:29] – Mm-hmm. – No. – 嗯嗯 – 不要
[18:31] I’m just gonna sit here and think about 我只想坐在这里思考
[18:32] how the words I lived by my entire life are a big fat lie. 我这一生信奉的话是一个巨大的谎言
[18:36] Look, Sarge, I understand what it’s like 听着 警长 我明白这是什么感觉
[18:38] to have a hero who doesn’t act the way you want him to. 你的偶像表现得并不像你期望的那样
[18:40] It’s not gonna be about Patrick Ewing again, is it? 这次不是Patrick Ewing的故事了 是吗
[18:42] No, and it’s not about John Starks, either, 不 也不是John Starks
[18:44] who I also pantsed. 虽然我也扯掉了他的裤子
[18:45] How many Knicks have you pantsed? 你到底扯掉了多少尼克斯队人的裤子
[18:47] Including coaches, five, but that’s not the point. 包括教练 5个 但这不是重点
[18:50] The hero I was talking about is you. 我要说的偶像是你
[18:52] You’re a great cop and dad and husband and boss. 你是一个很棒的警察 老爸 丈夫和领导
[18:56] And also, you always smell just a little bit like vanilla. 还有 你总是闻起来有点点像香草的味道
[18:58] That’s my soap. 那是我香皂的味道
[18:59] I got it at Lush. 我在岚舒买的
[19:01] You’re who I want to be when I grow up, Terry. 你就是那个我长大想成为的人 Terry
[19:02] And you should know that some dumb inscription in some stupid book 而且你要知道不是那本烂书里愚蠢的题词
[19:05] isn’t what made you who you are. 让你成为现在这个你的
[19:07] And it bums me out that you can’t see that. 我很失望你没明白这一点
[19:08] Now, I’m gonna go get this bad guy, 现在我要去抓那个坏蛋了
[19:11] because that’s what you taught me to do. 因为这是你教我的
[19:15] Also what was the name of the soap store again? 另外那家香皂店叫什么来着
[19:17] Forget it. I’ll just look it up online. 算了 我上网找找看
[19:19] Okay, we’re both here, Sam. Go ahead. 好了 我俩都在这儿 Sam 宣布吧
[19:21] Well, it was a real hard decision, 这是一个非常艰难的决定
[19:23] but ultimately we decided 但最终我们决定
[19:24] the Boyles are going to Aruba! Boyle家族将去阿鲁巴岛
[19:27] All right, Sam, well, I’m happy to hear that. 好的 Sam 我很高兴听到这结果
[19:29] I think the sun’s gonna be really good 我想那的太阳会对所有人的牛皮癣
[19:31] for everyone’s psoriasis. 都很有好处的
[19:33] We’re all so excited. 我们都很兴奋
[19:34] All right, I love you, Charles. I love you, Gina. 好了 我爱你 Charles 我爱你 Gina
[19:37] Whoops. Lost you. 哎呀 断线了
[19:38] It was almost too easy. 这简直太容易了
[19:40] I’m like the Temple Grandin of herding Boyles. 我就像是Boyle家族的Temple Grandin
[19:43] Yes, you are. 对 你是
[19:44] What? Why are you smiling? 什么 你为什么在微笑
[19:46] I don’t get it. I won. 我不明白 我赢了
[19:47] Did you? 你赢了吗
[19:48] You were so busy trying to beat the Boyles, you became one. 你如此忙于打败Boyle家族 你变成了其中一员
[19:51] You learned about our likes and dislikes, 你了解了我们的喜欢和讨厌的东西
[19:53] our allergies and our phobias. 我们过敏和害怕的东西
[19:54] You even bought cousin Sherman a scrunchy for his ponytail. 你甚至给Sherman表哥买了头绳来扎他的马尾辫
[19:57] Yeah, so I could win. 对 所以我能赢
[19:58] And you did win… 你确实赢了
[19:59] a plot in the family cemetery. 家庭墓地的一个位置
[20:02] All of us together lying in a grave for eternity! 我们全部一起永远躺在一个坟墓里
[20:05] “Grave” Singular? “坟墓” 单数吗
[20:06] Charles, “Grave” Singular? Charles 单数的”坟墓”吗
[20:08] Oh, Captain, I know you don’t want to talk about Monty Hall, 警监 我知道你不想讨论蒙提霍尔问题
[20:11] but I did contact a math– 但我联系了一个数学
[20:12] No need, Santiago. It’s all good. 不必了 Santiago 一切都好
[20:14] So the fight with Kevin is over? 所以你和Kevin的争吵结束了
[20:15] Yep. 是的
[20:16] Because you understand the math now? 因为你现在搞懂数学问题了
[20:17] Nope. 不是
[20:18] – Because you guys – Yep. – 因为你们俩 – 是的
[20:19] Knew it. 就知道
[20:22] See, what happened is, your dads had sex. 事情就是 你的老爸们上床了
[20:23] Okay, Rosa. 够了 Rosa
[20:27] Edmund Grail? 是Edmund Grail吗
[20:29] Who wants to know? 是谁在问
[20:30] nypd. 纽约警局
[20:31] I need to ask you a few questions about DC Parlov. 我需要问你几个关于DC Parlov的问题
[20:33] Oh, okay. 好的
[20:35] Let me just undo the chain. 我这就打开链条锁
[20:43] Son of a bitch. 王八蛋
[20:49] Freeze! 站住
[20:51] Taste the might of Ka’Lar! 尝尝Ka’Lar的威力
[20:56] Get him out of here. 把他带走
[20:59] Nice work, Sarge. 干得漂亮 警长
[21:00] You were right. 你说得对
[21:01] Who cares about Parlov? 谁在乎Parlov
[21:03] We write our own stories. 我们写了自己的故事
[21:05] So welcome to the Terry Chronicles. 欢迎来到Terry历代记
[21:07] Book One: The Arrest of Edmund Grail. 卷一 Edmund Grail的逮捕
[21:10] Followed by Book Two: 接下来卷二是
[21:12] The Ravishing of Sharon. Sharon的诱惑
[21:14] I am so sorry. 抱歉
[21:15] I’m just pumped that you showed up. 你的出现让我太激动了
[21:16] I couldn’t let you down. 我不能让你失望
[21:17] And that is why you are my hero. 这就是为什么你是我的偶像
[21:20] Come on. Bring it in, big fella. 来 抱抱 大兄弟
[21:23] Oh, no! 哦不
[21:24] It happened again! 又发生了
[21:26] It happened again, Terry! 又发生了 Terry
神烦警探

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