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神烦警探(Brooklyn Nine-Nine)第2季第2集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 神烦警探(Brooklyn Nine-Nine)第2季第2集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:00] Okay, great. 好的
[00:02] I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks, doctor. 明天见 谢谢了 医生
[00:04] Have a good one. 再见
[00:08] Hey there, sarge. 嘿 警长
[00:09] Not to pry but I couldn’t help but overhear… 我不是有意 而是无心听到
[00:11] You’re going to the doctor? Everything okay? 你要去看医生 身体还好吗
[00:16] I’m getting a vasectomy. 我要去结扎了
[00:18] My ears are burning. Did someone say “Vasectomy?” 你们在说啥 我可是听到有人说”结扎”了哦
[00:21] I got snipped. No big deal. 我就结扎了 没什么大不了的
[00:23] Just numbs you out from trunk to skunk for a year. 就是打了麻药 只不过让你的鸡鸡从皮到芯没知觉个一年
[00:25] It’s not supposed to. 不该这样的呀
[00:26] “Trunk to skunk”? “从皮到芯”
[00:28] Hold it up. 等一下
[00:30] You’re gonna let some quack doctor 你打算让某位招摇撞骗的医生
[00:31] just knife around down there? 磨刀霍霍向你的命根子么
[00:33] You are blessed with a great power. 上帝赐你大力护体
[00:36] And you should never snip its wings. 你绝不能让它折翼
[00:38] You should let it soar. 你要让它自由飞翔
[00:40] Thanks guys, that’s enough. I don’t need anymore input. 谢谢各位 打住吧 我不需要任何信息”注入”了
[00:43] Neither does your wife, I guess. 我猜你老婆也不需要了吧
[00:46] Look, you guys, 好了 同志们
[00:47] if the sergeant wants to chop off his penis, 要是警长想砍掉他的鸡鸡
[00:48] that is his choice. 那是他的选择
[00:49] That’s not what a vasectomy is. 结扎不是这么回事
[00:51] If you guys don’t get back to work, 要是你们还不回去工作
[00:53] I’m gonna start firing detectives. 我要开始开除警探了
[00:55] And blanks! 是”开空枪”吧
[00:56] Sorry. I just never think of jokes. 抱歉 我好不容易想到个双关
[00:58] Anybody else? This is your last chance. 还有谁有嘲笑我的 逾时不候啊
[01:01] Oh, God. No need to be so testes. 天呐 别这么”鸡”冻嘛
[01:03] Guess you won’t be manning the “Tip line.” 我猜你不会接到”鸡凸热线”了
[01:06] Sergeant, is this gonna go on your “Sperm-anent record”? 警长 这会记录在你的怀”精”档案上吗
[01:08] Now playing: 现在播放
[01:09] “Scrotal recall”! <蛋蛋的回忆>
[01:31] Hey sarge, great news. 警长 好消息
[01:32] I just got assigned such a dope stabbing. 我刚接到一个酷炫的刺伤案
[01:36] Sorry, the stabbing part is bad. 不好意思 刺伤案不是好事
[01:37] But here’s the dope part: The guy survived 但是酷炫之处在于 伤者没死
[01:40] and he owns a chocolate milk restaurant. 而且他开了一家巧克力牛奶店
[01:42] – Seriously? – I know, right? – 真的吗 – 是不是很酷
[01:44] Finally, a dumb Brooklyn hipster 终于能有个愚蠢的布鲁克林嬉皮士
[01:45] trend my mouth and I can get behind. 合我的口味 让我也能跟上潮流了
[01:46] Wanna hop on the case with me? 想加入和我一起破案吗
[01:48] We’re a killer team. 我们可是金牌搭档
[01:49] Jeffords and Peralta. Jeffords 和 Peralta
[01:50] Jake and Terry. Jake 和 Terry
[01:51] Chocolate and milk. 巧克力(黑人)和牛奶(白人)
[01:53] I mean, I’m the chocolate 我是说 我是巧克力
[01:54] and you’re the milk ’cause you’re so full of protein! 你是牛奶因为你浑身都是蛋白质
[01:56] Don’t be mad! Just do the case! 别生气 快办案吧
[01:59] Okay, but I have my vasectomy today. 好的 但是今天我要去结扎
[02:01] So I need to be back in a few hours 所以过几个小时我就得回来
[02:03] to catch my ride to the doctor’s. 赶车去看医生
[02:04] My neighbor’s driving me 我邻居来送我
[02:05] because my wife’s out of town with the girls. 因为我老婆和孩子一起出城了
[02:08] Why don’t I drive you? 不如我送你去吧
[02:09] I don’t know. 不知道
[02:10] I guess I didn’t really think of you as that kind of friend. 可能我没把你当做那种朋友吧
[02:12] Sarge, I’m every kind of friend. 警长 我可是万能型朋友
[02:14] I’m Phoebe, I’m Chandler, I’m Rachel, I’m… 我是Phoebe 我是Chandler 我是Rachel 我还是
[02:17] Who’s the dinosaur guy? 那个恐龙男是谁来着
[02:18] Ross, bro! Ross! Ross 伙计 是Ross
[02:20] Sorry, I forgot you were such a ross-head. 抱歉 我忘了你是Ross的死忠(也指光头)了
[02:22] So look, we’ll work this thing together 那么 我们一起搞定这个案子
[02:24] and afterwards, I will be your friend chariot 然后 我会化身你的战车小伙伴
[02:27] to the penis-removal of the century. 送你去体验世纪鸡鸡大移除
[02:31] The new NYPD commissioner is planning 新上任的警局局长计划
[02:33] a complete reorganization of the force. 搞一个人员大调整
[02:35] But first, he’ll be sending a deputy chief 但是首先 他要派副局长
[02:36] to every precinct to conduct a top to bottom evaluation. 到各个片区做个彻底的评估
[02:39] What? When? Are we gonna be graded? 啥 啥时候 是打分制评估
[02:42] Or is this just some pass/fail garbage? 还是走形式的通过制评估
[02:43] Scale of one-to-five. 一到五评分
[02:45] That’s how many letter grades there are. 字母评分有多少级别
[02:47] Feels like they’re just being weird using numbers instead of letters. 用数字代替字母评分太诡异了
[02:49] Yeah, they’re being weird right now. 现在的话题已经很诡异了
[02:51] Boyle. Diaz. I want the evidence room organized beyond reproach. Boyle Diaz 我要求证据室整齐得无可挑剔
[02:55] Santiago, when I greet the deputy chief, Santiago 我迎接副局长的时候
[02:56] I want you there by my side to make a good impression. 你站在我身边给人家一个好印象
[03:00] No offense, but you are something of a teacher’s pet. 无意冒犯 你看着像是老师的狗腿
[03:03] None taken! People love their pets. 一点也不冒犯 狗狗人人都爱
[03:06] Good news is, our evaluation 好消息是 来评估我们的
[03:08] will be done by deputy chief Brandt. 是Brandt副局长
[03:10] We have a good rapport. He was once, my captain. 我跟他很有默契 他曾经是我的警监
[03:13] So he’s kind of like, our grand-captain. 所以他算是我们的 警监爷
[03:17] That, is amazingly funny. 你真是太逗了
[03:21] Well I was closing up around 11:00, 正当十一点左右要打烊的时候
[03:23] I heard the door open, then I just figured it was some “Milkers.” 我听到了开门声 我想大概只是个”奶客”
[03:27] That’s what we call our regulars. 我们对常客的称呼
[03:29] – Do ya? – Anyway, the next thing I know, – 是咩 – 接下来我只记得
[03:31] the guy stabs me in the back, like, like right here. 我的背被人捅了 这个地方
[03:34] Like some kind of psycho wuss! 看起来像个神经病似的
[03:36] Can you think of anyone who might wanna hurt you? 你能想出谁会有动机害你吗
[03:38] Yeah, 废话
[03:39] I mean you don’t get into this line of business to make friends. 干这行又不是来交朋友的
[03:42] Really? I was think making chocolate milk 真的吗 我以为做巧克力牛奶
[03:43] is a great way to make friends. 是很容易交到朋友的
[03:44] I don’t have proof. But the guy who did this to me 我没证据 但捅我的人
[03:46] is my business partner, Gregory Phyllips. 是我的合伙人 Gregory Phyllips
[03:49] He still pissed at me because 他还在因为我不让他
[03:50] I banned him from my’ straunt. 进我的店而对我怀恨在心
[03:52] He was suppose to be my silent partner, 他只是个幕后合伙人
[03:53] but he wasn’t silent, he was tring to control everything. 但他不甘于待在幕后 他想要控制一切
[03:56] Here, try this. 给 试试这个
[03:57] – All right, here we go, finally. – All right. – 终于有的喝了 – 好咧
[04:04] It’s so bitter! 苦死了
[04:05] What’s wrong with this chocolate milk? 这巧克力牛奶怎么回事
[04:06] Dark milk isn’t chocolate milk. 黑暗牛奶不是巧克力牛奶
[04:08] This is teat-to-mouth raw cows’ milk. 这是挤出来后未加工的牛奶
[04:11] The bitterness of the chocolate 巧克力的苦味
[04:13] brings out sourness of the milk. 带出了奶中的酸味
[04:15] That’s the worst part of both of those things! 苦和酸是最糟糕的部分啊
[04:18] – Time for my appointment, Jake. – Yep, got it. – 我预约的时间到了 Jake – 好的知道了
[04:21] All right. We will look into this and get back to you. 好了 我们会继续追查然后向你汇报情况
[04:23] Okay, sarge. Hate to be “That kind of friend,” 好啦 警长 我也不想成为”那种朋友”
[04:26] But, let’s go chop off that penis. 但还是走起去切小鸡鸡吧
[04:30] Where were you? This is chaos! 你去哪儿了 这里一团糟
[04:32] Gina is filing evidence by “Perp hotness”. Gina把证物按照罪犯魅力值来分类
[04:35] I’m so sorry. I just got some bad news. 对不起 我刚得到了些坏消息
[04:37] My sister was gonna go with me to the engagement party. 我姐姐本来要和我一起去订婚派对的
[04:39] But she had to cancel! 但她突然去不了了
[04:40] So go alone. Maybe you’ll meet some new bag. 那一个人去啊 或许还能遇到下一春
[04:43] It’s my ex-wife Eleanor’s engagement party, 这是我前妻Eleanor的订婚派对
[04:45] I can’t go alone. 我不能一个人去
[04:46] I’m worried it might seem a little pathetic. 我怕看起来会有点可悲
[04:48] Yeah, if only you could’ve gone with your sister. 是啊 你姐姐陪你去就不可悲了
[04:50] Dude, why are you going to 老兄 你到底为什么要
[04:52] your ex-wife’s engagement party at all? 去你前妻的订婚派对
[04:54] She and her fiance Hercules are also my landlords. 她和她未婚夫Hercules也是我的房东
[04:57] I mean it’s not like I can avoid them, 想躲都躲不了
[04:59] I live in their basement. 我就住在他们地下室
[05:01] Hey! Are you thinking what I’m thinking? 嘿 你在和我想一样的事情吗
[05:05] No. 没有
[05:05] You can go with me. 你可以和我一起去
[05:06] Can’t. Have a date tomorrow night. 不行 明晚有约会
[05:08] Okay, I will figure something out. 好吧 我会另想出办法来的
[05:11] I know! Maybe if I pay my neighbor Joann, 我知道了 如果我付钱给我邻居Joann的话
[05:14] she’ll ditch her wife for the night! 她或许会愿意抛下老婆陪我去
[05:18] Captain, I don’t know if this is too much, 警监 我不知道这会不会太过了
[05:20] but I got deputy chief Brandt this little basket of pears. 但我给副局长Brandt买了一篮梨
[05:23] They look ripe and crispy. 它们看起来又熟又脆
[05:26] Hello, Raymond. 你好 Raymond
[05:33] Captain Wuntch. Good to see you. Wuntch警监 很高兴见到你
[05:36] But if you’re here, 不过 你怎么会在这
[05:37] who’s guarding Hades? 你不是应该忙着看守地狱么
[05:39] It’s deputy chief Wuntch now. 请称呼我为副局长
[05:42] Unsuprisingly, I’ve been promoted above you. 毫无悬念的 我被提拔为你的上级了
[05:44] And now, I’m here to evaluate you. 现在 我是来这儿评估你的
[05:46] What happened to Brandt? Brandt呢
[05:47] He retaired and moved to Charleston 他退休搬去查尔斯顿
[05:49] to be close to his grandchildren, 培养和他孙子之间的感情了
[05:51] So much for dying at your desk with little dignity. 还不如办公室里等死有尊严
[05:53] Interesting. I will attempt to coorporate with you. 有意思 鉴于现在这个情况
[05:56] Under this, new circumstances. 我会尽力配合你的
[05:59] Don’t sweet-talk me, Holt. 别和我甜言蜜语 Holt
[06:01] I gave it my best shot. Let’s begin. 我已经尽力了 我们开始吧
[06:07] Hey, hey! 哈喽
[06:09] How’d it go? 怎么样
[06:10] Is his voice all high-pitched now? 他以后说话就变高音了吗
[06:11] What? No, of course not. 什么 不 当然不是
[06:13] Of course not. 当然不是啊
[06:14] Jake Jake!
[06:14] The doctors made me into a superhero! 医生把我变成超级英雄了
[06:17] I am so strong! 我好强壮啊
[06:20] And they made me black! 他们还把我变成黑人了
[06:23] He’s on a lot of medication. 他药劲还没退呢
[06:24] We weren’t able to do the procedure. 我们没能实施手术
[06:26] Your friend is so large… 你这位朋友太大了
[06:27] That you needed a bigger saw to get through his dingus? 所以你需要个更大的工具来搞定他那玩意
[06:30] No, his body is so physically massive 不 我是说他个头太大了
[06:33] that we didn’t have enough anesthesia on hand. 我们库存的麻醉剂不够
[06:35] He needs a much larger dose. 他需要注射更大的剂量
[06:36] Psst… psst… Jake. 喂 喂 Jake
[06:38] Sometimes I can’t tell my twin baby girls apart, 有时候我区分不出我的双胞胎宝贝女儿
[06:42] so I call them both “Boo-boo.” 就一律管她们叫宝宝
[06:45] Wow. So he has no filter whatsoever? 哇噢 所以他现在就跟喝了吐真剂一样是嘛
[06:48] None. 没错
[06:49] I’m gonna take ya home now, sarge. 我们现在要回家了 警长
[06:50] Hey, what do you think of captain Holt? 对了 你觉得Holt警监这人咋样
[06:52] He needs to smoke some weed. 他需要抽点大麻放松一下
[06:54] Yes! 耶
[06:55] Thank you, Dr. Penis-off! 多谢了 割鸡鸡医生
[06:58] Okay, in ya go. You’re okay. 好了 到家了
[07:00] Whoo! Cool! 哇 太酷了
[07:03] Dude, your head is so small! 兄弟 你的头好小啊
[07:06] Like a… 就像
[07:08] No, no, it’s so small! 不不 实在太小了
[07:12] All right. 好吧
[07:12] Where do you keep your brains? 哪有位置放你的大脑呢
[07:17] Ah, Good. 啊 好孩子
[07:19] All right, got your PJS on, read you a story, 好了 睡衣给你换上了 睡前故事也讲了
[07:22] checked under the bed for monsters. 床底下有没有怪物也检查过了
[07:24] Check again! 再检查一遍
[07:25] And now it’s sleepy-time, so here we go… 现在该乖乖睡觉了 来吧
[07:27] – Get onto the bed. – Wait, wait, wait… – 上床睡觉去 – 等等 等一等
[07:30] You gotta promise me you won’t let them give me the operation. 你答应我 不要让他们给我做那个手术
[07:35] I wanna have more kids. I don’t want the vasectomy. 我还想要孩子 我不要被结扎
[07:39] Promise me, tiny head! Promise me! 答应我 小脑袋 答应我
[07:41] All right, I promise! I promise. 好啦 答应你就是了
[07:43] Good! 太好了
[07:45] Because I’m not done with my testicles yet. 我还没有用够我的”小弟弟”呢
[07:48] Okay. 好好好
[07:49] I’m gonna let them sing! 我还要让它们放”射”歌唱
[07:58] Uh-oh, walk of shame! 噢喔 这羞耻的步伐
[08:00] Same clothes as yesterday. 和昨天一样的衣服
[08:01] I slept at the sarge’s. 我在警长家过的夜
[08:03] It was horrible. 简直不堪回首
[08:04] Come… here… Phone! 我命令你过来 电话
[08:08] All right, let’s get going and interview that suspect. 行了 我们赶紧去审嫌疑犯吧
[08:10] I have my make-up vasectomy this afternoon so… 我下午还要去补做结扎手术呢
[08:13] I’m sorry, your what-what vasectomy? 等等 你说你还要干嘛
[08:14] Last night, you told me you didn’t want that. 昨晚你告诉我你不想做那手术的
[08:16] Then you fell on top of me 然后你就压在我身上
[08:17] and changed the shape of my skeleton forever. 彻底改变了我的骨骼形状
[08:20] No, I definitely want one. 不 我绝对是想做那手术的
[08:22] That was the drugs talking. I was high as a kite. 昨天大概是药物的原因 我当时快嗨得飞起来了
[08:29] – Did I do this and call you “Tiny head?” – Yes. – 我有这样 而且叫你小脑袋吗 – 有
[08:33] Some things are coming back to me now. 我开始慢慢回想起昨晚的事了
[08:35] Oh, that’s great. 噢 很好
[08:36] Tiny head. 哈哈 小脑袋
[08:38] Jake, I am so scared that man is about to make Jake 在这个切不切输精管的问题上
[08:41] a huge mistake, re: His vas deferens. 我怕警长会做出错误的决定
[08:44] I know, he made me promise to not let him get that surgery. 可不是 他昨天还让我一定要阻止他去做手术
[08:46] And it wasn’t just the drugs. He doesn’t want this. 绝不是药的原因 他确实不想结扎
[08:50] As his friend, it’s my job to stop him. 身为朋友 我应该去阻止他
[08:56] Sorry, Terry turned my spine into a loose stack of pebbles. 抱歉 我的脊椎被Terry压得跟一堆碎石子似的
[09:00] And, since my arrival, 在我上任以后
[09:02] violent crime has gone down by 17.3 percent, 暴力犯罪率下降了百分之17.3
[09:06] as you can see here 如你所见
[09:07] Two-toned graphs? 双色图表么
[09:09] You think you can distract me from this 你觉得用这些华而不实的图表
[09:11] precinct’s problem with a flashy presentation? 就能向我隐瞒这个片区的问题吗
[09:14] Same old Ray Holt. 你还真是没变啊
[09:15] All sizzle, no steak. 光说不做
[09:17] I’m off to do some spot-checks. 我要去做随机调查了
[09:21] Oh my god, she’s totally gonna flunk us! 我的天哪 她一定不会让我们通过的
[09:24] I haven’t gotten an F 自打二年级的那个课间以后
[09:25] since I failed recess in second grade! 我就再也没得过F了
[09:27] “Teacher’s need a break too, Amy.” “Amy 老师也得休息呀”
[09:29] We were doomed the minute 打从她踏进片区的那一刻
[09:30] she slithered into the precinct. 我们就注定玩完了
[09:32] That’s funny. 真有意思
[09:33] When we first met, we had some good times. 初次见面时 我们的关系还很好呢
[09:39] Looks like we both want that stapler. 似乎我们都想要这个订书机啊
[09:41] Seems that way. Based on what happened. 是啊 鉴于我们一致的动作
[09:47] So when did it all go south? 那你们的关系是什么时候破裂的
[09:48] 1989, I was up for a big promotion 1989年 我当时得到了一个
[09:52] which would’ve fast-tracked my career. 能让人飞黄腾达的晋升
[09:53] Wuntch offered to write a letter on my behalf Wuntch答应为我写一封信
[09:55] but instead she torpedoed me, 然而她却狠狠中伤了我
[09:57] because of something that happened the night 因为在她上交前的那晚
[09:59] before she was to turn it in. 我们有了些小摩擦
[10:02] Madeline Madeline.
[10:06] Would you care for a drink? 你想来一杯吗
[10:07] I’d love one. 当然
[10:08] I’m sure you can tell. I’m quite drunk. 你肯定看得出来 我喝多了
[10:10] I had a couple, 我喝了几杯
[10:11] to build up the nerve. 为了壮壮胆
[10:12] I think we both know what I’m about to say. 咱俩应该都清楚我接下来要说什么
[10:16] Raymond Raymond.
[10:18] I don’t think we need to say anything. 一切尽在不言中
[10:24] I’m gay. 我是同性恋
[10:25] That’s what I was going to tell you. 这就是我想要说的
[10:27] Well then. 那好吧
[10:29] She sabotaged my career 她毁了我的工作
[10:31] because I refused to bed her. 就是因为我不肯和她上床
[10:36] He thinks I stabbed him? 他觉得是我捅的他
[10:38] That’s crazy. 抽疯了吧
[10:38] He said you were furious at him 他说你肯定是被他激怒了
[10:40] because he banned you from the restaurant 因为他不让你再靠近餐馆一步
[10:41] and called your business plans terrible. 而且他还说你的商业计划书很垃圾
[10:44] The text reads: 信息记录为
[10:45] “Your ideas are dumb-dumb butter in a stupid pancake, “你那点子是薄饼里傻逼兮兮的浆糊”
[10:49] you steaming pile of human fences.” “你这坨冒着烟的人形’栅栏'”
[10:52] I assume that was auto-corrected from “Feces.” 我估计原本写的是”大粪”而不是”栅栏”
[10:55] Look, partners fight. 听着 天下没有不散的筵席
[10:57] He’s difficult to work with, 他是很难相处
[10:58] but I would never try and kill him. 但是我永远不会对他动杀机
[11:00] Where were you on Monday around 10:00 pm? 你周一晚上十点左右在哪里呢
[11:02] Me and my business school buddies get together every monday 我和我的商学院校友每周一都会聚会
[11:05] and have a couple beers. 在一起喝喝小酒
[11:06] Also, there’s a… uh… Pilates studio 而且 街对面有个普拉提锻炼房
[11:08] with a huge window across the street 装了个特别大的窗户
[11:10] so it’s a pretty sweet view. 从那可是能看到不少妹子呢
[11:13] I guess that’s not as bad as stabbing someone? 我猜一定比捅人有趣多了吧
[11:15] I left around 10:00, 我十点钟就离开了
[11:16] took the subway home, 我坐地铁回了家
[11:18] got off at York street around my house, 在家门口的约克街下的车
[11:19] puked on a statue, 冲着一个雕像狂吐
[11:21] went to bed. 然后就睡觉去了
[11:21] Classy. All right, well, 经典 好了
[11:22] we’ve taken up enough of your time 我们已经占用了你不少时间
[11:24] enjoy the rest of your day 请享受剩下的一天
[11:25] and go back to your life as “A pile of human fences.” 继续”一坨人形栅栏”的人生吧
[11:28] Okay, let’s see if any of DRK MLK’s neighbors 好吧 我们来看看”黑暗牛奶”周边的人
[11:31] saw the pilates perv or anyone else 见没见过那个普拉提变态或者别人
[11:32] fleeing the scene of the crime. 偷偷潜入过犯罪现场
[11:34] Copy that. 收到
[11:34] We’ll do some cop stuff, 我们会做些警察的活
[11:35] have a heart-to-heart about your vasectomy, 将心比心地谈论你的结扎手术
[11:37] cancel your vasectomy, 取消你的结扎手术
[11:37] grab some drinks, 出去喝几杯
[11:38] laugh about the time you almost got a vasectomy. 嘲笑你差点经历的结扎手术
[11:40] Stop worrying about my vasectomy, man. 别再担心我的结扎手术了
[11:42] Maybe you should focus on your own body. 你也应该注意自己的身体了
[11:44] When’s the last time you had a carrot? 你上次吃胡萝卜是什么时候
[11:46] Well, it’s my least favorite type of cake, 那是我最不爱吃的一种蛋糕
[11:48] so rarely. 所以 我很少吃
[11:49] If I absolutely have to, 如果非吃不可
[11:50] I’ll just eat the frosting. 那我就只吃那层糖霜
[11:51] Hey! Cut it out, cake boy. 嘿 得了吧 蛋糕仔
[11:53] You’re making health insurance more expensive for everyone else! 你就是让医疗保险不断上涨的罪魁祸首
[11:56] Yeah? Well, 当真吗
[11:56] you know what else drives up premiums? 你知道还有什么也会提高保险费吗
[11:58] Unwanted genital removal! 违背自身意愿的阉割
[12:03] Thank you for coming. 多谢你能来
[12:04] I wasn’t sure if you’d get my message. 我还怕你收不到信息呢
[12:05] Charles, it was kind of hard to miss. Charles 不太可能收不到好吗
[12:08] 速来男厕所
[12:08] Oh, God! 我的神啊
[12:10] Hey, I didn’t know what to do. 我没别的办法了
[12:11] You said we weren’t allowed to talk at work 你说过工作时间不能说话
[12:13] now that we’re knocking boots. 因为我们已经鬼混过了
[12:14] Ew, gross. 这话好恶心
[12:15] Listen, my ex-wife’s throwing an engagement party this weekend 我想说的是 我前妻这周末要订婚了
[12:18] and I was wondering if you wanted to go… 我想问你 愿不愿意跟我一起去
[12:21] As friends. 以朋友的身份
[12:22] No, Charles, just because we have secret, shameful sex 不 Charles 虽然我们之间有不可告人的秘密
[12:26] does not mean we are friends. 但不代表我们就是朋友了
[12:28] Forget friends. 那不做朋友
[12:29] Let’s go as “Bone bros.” “炮友”怎么样
[12:31] I didn’t strike you when you said “Knocking boots,” 你说”鬼混”我还没想扇你
[12:34] but “Bone bros”? 但是”炮友”
[12:36] I cannot abide. 我实在受不了
[12:39] Have you seen this man around DRK MLK. 你在”黑暗牛奶”附近有没有见过这人
[12:41] Oh, I don’t go there. 我不去那儿
[12:43] They don’t allow babies in there. 他们不让宝宝进店
[12:44] What is wrong with them? 这些人是怎么回事
[12:46] All I drank when I was a baby was chocolate milk. 我还是小屁孩的时候只喝巧克力牛奶呢
[12:48] Well, thank you for your time. 谢谢你的配合
[12:50] And thank you, adorable little baby, 也谢谢你 可爱的小宝宝
[12:52] who’s probably giving my partner some mixed feelings right about now. 你可能让我的搭档心里五味杂陈
[12:55] “Don’t get the operation, sarge! “别做手术 警长
[12:57] Instead, make a tiny muscular friend for me to play with!” 还是给我生一个肌肉发达的小玩伴吧”
[13:00] That’s enough. 够了
[13:01] I’m with you. That’s enough, baby. 我同意 够了 宝宝
[13:02] Mind your own business. 管好你自己的事儿吧
[13:04] I haven’t heard of DRK MLK 我从没听说过”黑暗牛奶”
[13:06] and I’ve never seen this man before. 也从没见过这人
[13:08] This is your lead? 这就是你的线索
[13:09] Why are we here? 我们为什么来这儿
[13:11] Well, according to the Internet, 网上说
[13:12] dr. Mindel is the best couples counselor in the Park slope area, Mindel医生是公园坡地区最棒的婚姻咨询师
[13:16] who accepts same day walk-ins. 还接受临时咨询呢
[13:17] Couples counseling? 婚姻咨询
[13:18] Sorry for wasting your time. 抱歉浪费你的时间
[13:20] Wait, please don’t leave. 等等 别走啊
[13:22] This cost me so much money. 我可是花了不少钱呢
[13:25] I am so sorry. 真抱歉
[13:26] He’s walking out. 他离开了
[13:29] Just like your father did. 正如你父亲当年一样
[13:30] Wait a minute, I didn’t tell you about that. 等等 我没告诉过你啊
[13:32] Didn’t have to. 用不着说
[13:34] You are good! 你确实够厉害的
[13:36] Sarge, wait up! 警长 等等
[13:38] Come on, don’t be mad! 拜托 别生气嘛
[13:40] Look, I’m only trying to protect you from your very stupid self. 我只是不想让你被自己的蠢主意伤害了
[13:43] That is enough, Jake! 闹够了没 Jake
[13:45] Look, I’m sorry, okay? 对不起
[13:47] And the things you said when you were whacked-out were real. 但那天你精神错乱了 说的可都是真心话
[13:49] You made me promise. And as your friend… 你让我发了誓的 作为你的朋友
[13:52] I told you, Jake. 我说过了 Jake
[13:53] We’re not that kind of friends. 我们不是那种朋友
[13:55] Not what kind of friends? 不是哪种朋友
[13:56] “Friend” Friends. “交心朋友”
[13:58] You and I are work friends. 你我只是”普通同事”而已
[14:00] Now, if you will excuse me, 如果你不介意的话
[14:02] I’m going to the doctor’s office. 我要去医生那儿了
[14:06] Not good enough. 别想就这样摆脱我
[14:07] Prepare to be physically overpowered by a “Friend” Friend. 准备好被”交心朋友”制服吧
[14:12] Cancel the appointment! 取消和医生的预约
[14:13] I’ve got you! 我抓住你了
[14:14] You can’t move. 你不能动了吧
[14:16] Concede defeat, sir. 先生 承认被打败了吧
[14:18] You have been conquered. 你已经被控制住了
[14:21] Spot-checks are done. 抽查完了
[14:22] Needless to say, I thoroughly underwhelmed. 不用说 我觉得很无趣
[14:25] Huh. From your expression, 你的表情告诉我
[14:26] I would’ve guessed constipated or chilly. 你不是便秘了就是怕冷了
[14:30] Excuse me, captain, 不好意思 警监
[14:31] I don’t want to say that I saved the day, 我不想说是我挽救了大局
[14:33] but I will because I did. 但我还是要说 因为事实如此
[14:35] So… 看这个
[14:37] The letter of recommendation she wrote for you 25 years ago. 这是她25年前为你写的推荐信
[14:43] Where’d you get this? 你从哪搞到的
[14:43] I just went down to one police plaza 我去了一趟警察厅
[14:45] and applied some of my signature Amy charm. 施展了”Amy的诱惑”
[14:48] And then when you wouldn’t stop, 他们觉得你没完没了
[14:49] they just gave it to you? 所以只好把东西给你了
[14:50] More or less. 差不多
[14:52] The point is, the letter’s very positive. 重点是 信里都是溢美之词
[14:54] You thought she wrote mean stuff about you because of 你以为她写了负面的评价
[14:58] the… Night before. 因为那晚的事
[14:59] But she didn’t. 但她没有
[15:00] It was all a misunderstanding. 这是场误会
[15:02] Wait a minute… 等等
[15:03] You thought I cost you that promotion because you’re gay? 你觉得我是因为同性恋的事而毁了你的升职吗
[15:07] That’s what you’ve been mad about all these years? 这就是这么多年来你生我气的原因吗
[15:10] It’s… one reason. 原因之一
[15:12] I don’t care that you rejected my advances. 我不在乎你拒绝过我
[15:14] Your sexual identity is the one thing I actually respect about you. 你承认自己的性取向 是我尊敬你原因之一
[15:18] Then what are you mad about? 那你为什么生气
[15:20] I’m mad because you tried to get me thrown off the force. 我生气 是因为你想害我丢掉饭碗
[15:22] Yeah, because you shot me. 是啊 你击中我了
[15:24] I shot you because you were in the wrong position. 我击中你是因为你站错位了
[15:27] You weren’t following orders. 你没听指令行事
[15:28] What about the time you destroyed my personnel file 我执行卧底任务那次
[15:30] while I was undercover? 你毁了我的个人档案怎么说
[15:31] What if there had been a mole? 为了防内奸
[15:33] You were trying to make me disappear. 你想让我消失
[15:34] You embarrassed me in front of Derek Jeter! 你让我在Derek Jeter面前丢尽脸面
[15:36] You embarrassed yourself in front of Derek Jeter. 是你自己让你在Derek Jeter面前丢尽脸面
[15:46] Hey, Rosa! 嗨 Rosa
[15:47] Better file me under “E” For “Edgy.” 把我归档到”时髦”如何
[15:51] – What? – Cornrows! – 什么 – 麦穗头
[15:53] Why? 干嘛
[15:54] My ex-wife and her fiance go to Jamaica all the time. 我前妻和她未婚夫总去牙买加玩
[15:57] The theme of their party is: “Jamaican me marry you.” 他们婚礼派对的主题就是”牙买加我爱你”
[16:00] So good! 真不错
[16:01] So… I still don’t have a date. 那个 我还缺个女伴
[16:04] Unless this sweet maize-head has changed your mind. 我时髦的发型是否让你改变主意了
[16:07] I think we both know it hasn’t. 你我都知道没有
[16:09] We do. 明白了
[16:10] Fair enough. 好吧
[16:13] Why do you look so terrible? 你怎么一脸心烦的样子
[16:14] I tried to stop sarge from getting his tubes tied. 我想阻止警长做那手术
[16:17] But he somehow managed to sneak off to the hospital. 但他偷偷溜走去医院了
[16:19] Zip that lip! He’s doing it? 你说什么 他真要做吗
[16:21] He wouldn’t listen to me. 他不肯听我的
[16:22] He said I was a “Work friend.” 说我只是个”普通同事”
[16:24] Ah, that chills me. 啊 听着都心寒
[16:25] And it reminds me of a story. 我想起个故事
[16:27] I had this sweater, and it was a work sweater 我有一件毛衣 我叫它工作毛衣
[16:29] because it only seemed work apropes, 因为看起来只适合在工作场合穿
[16:31] but then one time, I wore it out to dinner 但有一次 我穿着它去吃晚餐
[16:34] and I was like, “Oh, dang!” 我才意识到 “哦天呐”
[16:36] “This sweater is cute everywhere.” “这件毛衣无论在哪穿都那么漂亮”
[16:39] I get it. 我懂了
[16:40] I’m the sweater. 我就是那件毛衣
[16:41] No. 不
[16:42] And I have to show the sarge I can be a good friend to him outside of work too. 我要告诉警长 我能做他的下班后的”交心朋友”
[16:45] No! 不
[16:46] Thank you, Gina. 谢谢你 Gina
[16:47] I’m gonna stop “him. 我要去拦住他
[16:48] Jake, I have no idea what you’re talking about, Jake 我完全不知道你在说什么
[16:49] but good luck! 不过祝你好运
[16:51] Well, good-bye, Raymond. 那么 再见 Raymond
[16:53] Anything you’d like to say to me before I complete my evaluation? 在我评估完成前 你还有什么要说吗
[16:56] Something in the form of groveling? 类似一些讨好的话
[16:58] Never. 没有
[16:59] Fail me if you must. 你想的话就给我不及格吧
[17:06] You’re just gonna let her fail us? 你真让她给我们不及格
[17:07] I’m sorry about your precious grade, Santiago, 对于你所珍视的好成绩我很抱歉 Santiago
[17:09] but this isn’t about you. 但这不关你事
[17:11] Don’t “This isn’t about you” Me! 别跟我来”不关你事”这一套
[17:13] I’m “This isn’t about you”-ing you! 我才要说 “不关你事”
[17:15] That grade is the only thing standing between me 要是评估成绩不合格
[17:18] and a future where you’re not my captain anymore. 你就再也不能当我警监了
[17:20] Wuntch failed the nine-oh Wuntch给了90片区不及格
[17:21] and their captain was fired. 他们的警监就被开除了
[17:23] I attempted to cajole her but she rebuffed me. 我试着说过好话了 但她拒绝听我的
[17:26] I’m not a man of unlimited cajoling. 说好话我也是有底线的
[17:29] Well, you better become one 你最好放弃底线
[17:31] because I need you in command. 我还需要你的领导
[17:33] This precinct needs you in command. 这个片区还需要你领导
[17:36] Cajole up, captain. 哄她去吧 警监
[17:44] Sarge, hey! 警长 嘿
[17:47] What the hell are you doing here, tiny head? 你来这做什么 小脑袋
[17:51] You better not be trying to talk me out of my surgery again. 你最好别再教唆我放弃手术
[17:55] Look, I’m not trying to talk you out of anything. 听着 我不是来让你放弃什么的
[17:57] I’m just here to give you a ride home 我只是准备接你回家
[17:58] and to prove to you once and for all 我想努力证明
[18:00] that I’m more than just a work friend. 我不仅仅是你的”普通同事”
[18:02] Thank you, microscope head. 谢谢你 微型脑袋
[18:05] Hey, a little bit of good news. 嗨 有个好消息
[18:06] I figured out the case. 我搞清楚案子了
[18:07] Remember Gregory said he got off the at York Street station the night of the stabbing? 记得Gregory说案发当晚他是在约克街站下的地铁吗
[18:10] Well, I took the subway here, it’s closed for construction 我从这里去搭地铁 地铁正关闭修建
[18:12] Hmm, so what you’re saying is 那 你的意思是
[18:16] I stabbed him. 我捅了他
[18:17] I did it. 是我干的
[18:19] You know what, we’ll talk about it tomorrow. 先这样 我们明天再谈这个
[18:21] See you on the other side. 做完手术再见
[18:27] Jake you were right, I don’t what the surgery, tinny head. Jake 你说得对 我不想做手术 小脑袋
[18:31] NYPD, put down the scalpel, step away from my work friend’s weiner-tubes 纽约警局 放下手术刀 不要动我同事的命根子
[18:37] Looking good Boyle. 打扮得不错啊 Boyle
[18:39] Ugh, that’s not a good sign. 这可不是个好预兆
[18:40] Hey, mon. 嗨 伙计
[18:42] Rosa Rosa.
[18:43] You changed your mind. 你改变主意了
[18:45] I blew off my date, 我放了约会对象的鸽子
[18:47] and instead, I’m spending a hellish evening in a Jamaican torture chamber with you. 决定和你在牙买加酷刑室度过严酷的一晚
[18:50] Really? 真的吗
[18:51] Yeah, here is what’s about to happen 对 接下来我会这么做
[18:53] We’re gonna to this terrible party 我们一起去这个糟糕的聚会
[18:54] I’m gonna laugh at all your jokes 你讲笑话我都会笑
[18:56] gonna talk about your medal of valor, 帮你炫耀你的英勇勋章
[18:57] and I’m gonna make you look like a Jamaican God of rhythm. 让你看起来像牙买加节奏之神
[18:59] Sebastian from The Little Mermaid. 就像<小美人鱼>里的Sebastian
[19:01] Also, tomorrow I’m gonna help you find a new apartment. 还有 明天我会帮你找一套新公寓
[19:04] Can’t live in your ex-wife’s basement anymore 你不能再住前妻的地下室了
[19:06] Wow! Respect, mon. 哇 厉害哦 伙计
[19:09] I’m gonna read my toast in the car. 我要去车里读祝酒词了
[19:12] You’re giving a toast? 你要致祝酒词
[19:13] More like, we’re giving a toast. 不如说我们要致祝酒词
[19:16] Here we go. 到了
[19:18] Jake, I have to tell you something. Jake 我有话要对你说
[19:20] Oh boy. 哦 天啊
[19:21] I am a liitle conflicted about having a vasectomy 我是有点纠结要不要做结扎术
[19:24] Really? Is that why you throw a EKG machine at the doctor? 是吗 所以你就朝医生扔心电图机了
[19:27] I’m sorry that I thought you as a work friend 很抱歉我把你只当做”普通同事”
[19:30] You’re here, man. 你在这陪着我呢
[19:32] You’re a friend-friend. 你是个”交心”的朋友啊
[19:34] You made Terry get real with himself and his genitals. 你让Terry勇敢面对他自己和他的命根子
[19:39] Your tinny head has a big heart inside. 你的小脑袋里面有一颗赤忱热心啊
[19:44] I know that’s scientifically wrong but 从科学上讲没有这回事 但是
[19:46] Thanks Serge. 谢谢了 警长
[19:48] I’m gonna talk to my wife when she comes home. 等我妻子回家了我会和她谈谈
[19:51] You’re a huggy good friend. 你是个贴心的好哥们
[19:55] No! Not again. 不要 又来了
[19:58] Santiago Santiago.
[19:59] We received our grade. 我们的测评结果出来了
[20:01] Oh my god. 哦 我的天
[20:02] Is this goodbye? 要说再见了吗
[20:05] There’s still so much I have to say to you. 我还有好多话要对你说
[20:07] 2.7. 2.7分
[20:09] Mediocre. 一般般吧
[20:10] But enough for you to stick around. 但是足够让你继续在这里任职了
[20:13] How did you get her to change her mind? 你是怎么让她改变主意的
[20:15] I had to compromise everything I stand for. 我不得不违背自己的底线
[20:17] You’re now, and always have been the superior police officer. 从过去到现在 你都比我更加优秀
[20:21] And? 然后呢
[20:24] The Derek Jeter thing was my fault. Derek Jeter的事情是我错了
[20:28] I’m sorry you had to go through that. 真抱歉你要受这样的委屈
[20:29] No, you were right. 不 你是对的
[20:30] This is the best job I’ve ever had 这是一份我有过的最好的工作
[20:32] and it would be foolish to give it up over a petty feud. 因为一点小矛盾就放弃真是太蠢了
[20:35] Here, This is for you. 给 这是给你的
[20:38] It’s a grade for your performance these past few days. 这是你过去几天工作的测评
[20:40] A letter grade, so as to not be “Weird” about it. 字母评分的 以免显得很”诡异”
[20:44] Oh my god, you really shouldn’t have. 哦我的天 不用你这么费心
[20:47] An “A”. 是个A
[20:49] Thank you. 谢谢你
[20:51] Just curious. 纯属好奇
[20:52] Does your system have pluses in it, or is, like, “A” The highest? 你的系统里有A加吗 还是说A就是最高的
[20:59] How did the interrogation go? 审讯怎么样了
[21:00] Gregory confessed to the stabbing. Gregory承认是他捅的人
[21:03] Nice work. 干得漂亮
[21:05] I just talked to my wife. 我和妻子谈过了
[21:07] We’re waiting on the operation. 我们准备等等做手术
[21:08] Everything’s cool. 一切都好
[21:09] Did you tell her we slept together twice? 你告诉她我们睡了两次了吗
[21:11] Thanks for taking care of me. 谢谢你照顾我
[21:13] I got you a present. 给你准备了个礼物
[21:16] Do you know what a present is Terry? 这也算是个礼物吗 Terry
[21:18] I care about my friends. 我是很关心朋友的
[21:20] Now, eat your carrots, or I rip your tinny head off. 现在给我吃了胡萝卜 否则我把你的小脑袋扭下来
[21:24] – No, No. – Come here. – 不要 不要 – 来吧
[21:27] I hate being friends with you. 我讨厌和你做朋友
神烦警探

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