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生活大爆炸(The Big Bang)第3季第18集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 生活大爆炸(The Big Bang)第3季第18集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:03] Okay in Avatar when they have sex in Pandora 《阿凡达》的人物在潘多拉性交时
[00:06] they hook up their ponytails, so we know their ponytails 会连接双方的马尾辫 可以推测
[00:08] are like their junk. 马尾辫类似于他们的生殖器
[00:11] Yeah… so? 那又怎样
[00:12] So, when they ride horses and fly on the birds, 他们骑马或骑鸟的时候
[00:15] they also use their ponytails. 也会用到马尾辫
[00:16] What’s your point? 你到底想说什么
[00:17] My point is, if I were a horse or a bird, 也就是说 如果我是马或者鸟
[00:19] I’d be very nervous around James Cameron. 我在詹姆斯·卡梅隆身边会相当紧张
[00:23] It amazes me how you constantly obsess over fictional details 你对虚构情节如此着迷 实在让我费解
[00:27] when there are more important things in the real world to worry about. 现实世界中还有很多 重要的事等着你呢
[00:30] For example, why wasn’t William Shatner in the new Star Trek movie? 比如 威廉·夏特纳怎么没出演 新的《星际迷航》电影
[00:34] Hey, Sheldon. I was up in the administration office, 谢尔顿 我刚走过行政办公室时
[00:37] and I happened to overhear the name of the winner 无意中听到了 今年大学科学奖
[00:40] of this year’s Chancellor’s Award for Science. 得奖人的名字
[00:42] And you want to rub my nose in the fact 你又想趁机打击我
[00:44] that my contributions are being overlooked again? 我的成就又被无视了吧
[00:46] I am the William Shatner of theoretical physics. 我就是理论物理界的威廉·夏特纳
[00:50] All right, I’ll play. 好吧 我配合你
[00:51] What self-important, preening fraud are they honoring this year? 他们今年选了哪个 自以为是 狂妄自大的骗子
[00:54] Oh, I’m so glad you asked it like that. You. 我真高兴你这么问 那个人就是你
[00:59] – I won? – You won. -我得奖了 -你得奖了
[01:01] I won! 我得奖啦
[01:03] This is astonishing. 太让我感到意外了
[01:05] Not that I won the award– no one deserves it more. 不是意外得了奖 没人比我更有资格
[01:08] Actually, I guess I misspoke. It’s not astonishing; more like inevitable. 其实 我说错了 根本不意外 得奖是意料中的事
[01:12] I’m not sure what to do first. Maybe I should call my mother. 我不知道该先做什么 要不先通知我妈
[01:15] Wait! I know– I’m going to conduct an interview with myself and post it online. 我知道啦 做个自访 然后放到网上去
[01:22] Well, good for him. 真替他高兴
[01:24] Yeah, the one thing the William Shatner 对 理论物理界的威廉·夏特纳
[01:27] of theoretical physics needed was an ego boost. 最需要的就是自我膨胀
[02:13] Didn’t it look like that spear was going to go right through your skull? 那支长矛逼真得 就像要直接穿过咱的头啊
[02:17] No. 才怪
[02:20] Hey, you didn’t want a Slurpee at 7-Eleven, you don’t get glasses. 你不买7-11的Slurpee[饮料名] 就没眼镜戴
[02:27] Oh, that will be another congratulatory call for me. 肯定又是打给我道贺的
[02:30] Uh, mute, please. 请静音
[02:31] Wait, wait. Hang on– flaming arrow. 等等 火焰箭呢
[02:37] Hello? 喂
[02:38] Oh, Chancellor Morton, how are you, sir? 莫顿校长 你好
[02:43] Yes, I was expecting your call. Three years ago. 对 我在等你的电话 三年前就开始了
[02:47] I see. 我明白
[02:49] Wait. What happens if I choose not to give a speech? 等等 如果我不想做演讲呢
[02:52] Uh-huh. 嗯
[02:53] And if I don’t want to forfeit the award? 如果我不想放弃奖项呢
[02:57] Well, you’ve got that tied up in a neat little bow. 好 您现在是箭在弦上 不得不发
[03:00] All right. 好吧
[03:01] Thank you. 谢谢
[03:03] Problem. 有状况
[03:05] What? 咋了
[03:06] They expect me to give a speech at the banquet. 他们要我在宴会上做演讲
[03:09] I can’t give a speech. 我不会做演讲
[03:10] Well, no, you’re mistaken. You give speeches all the time. 不 你弄错了 你一直都滔滔不绝
[03:17] What you can’t do is shut up. 你是不会闭嘴
[03:21] Yeah, before the movie, 看电影前
[03:23] you did 20 minutes on why guacamole turns brown. 你说了20分钟为啥鳄梨酱变棕色了
[03:26] It turned brown while you were talking. 你说话的时候 它就变棕色了
[03:29] I am perfectly comfortable speaking to small groups. 我在小群体面前能自如讲话
[03:32] I cannot speak to large crowds. 但没法在大群体面前演讲
[03:34] What, to you, is a large crowd? 你的大群体怎么定义
[03:36] Any group big enough to trample me to death. 大到能把我踩死的那种
[03:40] General rule of thumb is 36 adults or 70 children. 按经验估计是36个成人或70个儿童
[03:44] Sheldon, congratulations. 谢尔顿 恭喜恭喜
[03:47] Brought you a cheesecake from work. 从店里给你带了芝士蛋糕
[03:48] You know, ’cause of your award, 这是给你庆祝得奖的
[03:50] not because a busboy sneezed on it. 不是因为小工对着它打了喷嚏
[03:55] – I’m not accepting the award. – Why not? -我不接受奖项了 -为什么
[03:57] Turns out the great Sheldon Cooper has stage fright. 因为伟大的谢尔顿居然会怯场
[04:01] That’s no reason to back out. 那也没有理由退出啊
[04:02] You know, I once got a pretty big honor in high school, 我以前在高中时 得了个很大的奖
[04:05] and I was terrified about appearing in front of a big crowd, 而我很怕面对一大群人
[04:08] but I went through with it, and you know what? 但我挺过来了 知道吗
[04:10] The world looked pretty darn good 作为玉米皇后团的成员之一
[04:12] sitting on a haystack in the back of a Ford F-150 坐在福特F150后面放的干草堆上
[04:14] as a member of the Corn Queen’s court. 那是相当的风光啊
[04:19] Thank you. 谢谢
[04:21] Yeah, I’ll bear that in mind 我会牢记在心的
[04:22] if I’m ever nominated for the Hillbilly Peace Prize. 如果我被提名乡巴佬和平奖的话
[04:27] Sheldon, you’re being ridiculous. 谢尔顿 你小题大做了
[04:29] Am I? 是吗
[04:30] Let me tell you a story. 我给你们讲个故事
[04:32] Where’s 70 children when you need them? 咱现在就需要70个儿童
[04:35] I was 14 and graduating summa cum laude from college. 我14岁时以Summa cum laude的成绩从大学毕业
[04:40] “Summa cum laude” is Latin for “with highest honors.” Summa cum laude在拉丁语里是指最高荣誉
[04:43] I just love how you always skip over the part where no one asks. 你要是能跳过 没人问的东西就好了
[04:48] I was valedictorian and expected to give an address. 我要在毕业典礼上做致词
[04:51] Even now, I can remember that moment 我到现在还记得当时
[04:53] when I walked up to the podium and looked out at the crowd. 我走上讲台 看着人群
[04:56] There must have been thousands of people. 台下数以千计的人
[04:58] My heart started pounding in my chest. 我的心开始剧烈跳动
[05:00] I began to hyperventilate. 然后开始大口呼气
[05:02] My vision became blurry, and before I knew it… 视力渐渐模糊 还没来得及…
[05:06] Oh, dear. 晕啊
[05:07] Oh, my God. 老天
[05:09] Sheldon? 谢尔顿
[05:10] Sheldon, are you okay? 谢尔顿 你没事吧
[05:12] Don’t trample me. 表踩我啊
[05:16] Come on, Mother. 拜托 妈妈
[05:17] You know why I can’t accept the award. 你知道我为啥不接受奖项
[05:20] With all due respect, I don’t think praying will help. 恕我直言 我不觉得祈祷会有用
[05:24] No, I have not heard the song, “Jesus, Take the Wheel.” 没 我没听过那首 “主啊 请掌控这命运之轮”
[05:28] No, no… You don’t need to start singing it. 不用不用 你不需要唱给我听
[05:33] Yes, I’ll buy it on the iTunes, Mother. 好 我会在iTunes上下载的 妈妈
[05:36] Good-bye, Mother. 再见 妈妈
[05:43] Hello. 各位好
[05:45] Sit down. We want to talk to you. 坐啊 我们想和你谈谈
[05:47] Am I in trouble? 我是有麻烦了吗
[05:49] Did my mother call you? 我妈妈给你们打电话了
[05:51] Just sit. 坐就是了
[05:52] We think we can help you with your stage fright. 我们能帮你克服怯场的问题
[05:56] Oh, I doubt that. 我深表怀疑
[05:57] I haven’t figured out a way, and I’m much smarter than all of you. 我比你们智商都高 我都没想出办法呢
[06:03] Yes, but you’re not smarter than all of us put together. 是的 可我们几个的智商加起来肯定比你高
[06:06] Oh, I’m sorry. That is what I meant. 不好意思 还是我高
[06:10] Okay. Your problem is, you’re trying to do this all by yourself. 好吧 你的问题是 你想孤军奋战
[06:13] We can help you. We can be your team. 我们可以帮你 当你的队友
[06:15] Like, uh, Professor Xavier and his X-Men. 就像 X教授和X战警
[06:22] I do like the X-Men. 我确实挺喜欢《X战警》
[06:25] Did I see X-Men? 我看过《X战警》吗
[06:27] Yeah, we watched it last week. You said you liked it. 看过啊 我们上周才看的 你还说你喜欢呢
[06:30] Oh. I say a lot of things, sweetie. 亲爱的 说话又不用付钱
[06:34] So, how about it, Sheldon? 怎么样啊 谢尔顿
[06:35] I don’t know. 不好说
[06:37] If you’re my X-Men, what are your powers? 如果你们是X战警 那你们的超能力是什么
[06:40] Okay. Well, I am going to take you shopping, get you a nice suit. 这个 我会带你去购物 帮你选一套超赞的西装
[06:44] Might give you more confidence. 能让你更自信
[06:45] That’s not exactly a mutation that would get you 确切来说这不叫变异 光凭这点你不可能
[06:48] into Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, 进到X教授专为天赋异禀的年轻人开设的学校
[06:50] but go on. 不过继续
[06:50] Leonard? 莱纳德
[06:52] I thought I could try to analyze you 我可以对你进行心理分析
[06:54] and get to the root of your anxiety. 然后找出让你如此焦虑的根源
[06:56] What qualifies you to attempt to understand my mind? 你凭什么觉得你能读懂我的内心呢
[06:59] My mother is a highly regarded psychiatrist, 我妈是一位杰出的精神病专家
[07:02] and I’ve been in therapy ever since she accused me 而且自从她指责我过于依赖母乳开始
[07:05] of breast-feeding codependently. 我就一直在接受治疗
[07:10] Raj says he can teach you… 拉杰说他可以教你
[07:12] What did you call it? 什么名字来着
[07:14] I don’t know– some Indian meditation crap. 我记不住 一些扯淡的印度冥想
[07:19] I see. Well, I assume, since the rest of you have set the bar so low, 明白了 由于前三位的水准 都严重不靠谱
[07:24] you’re saving the most impressive contribution for last. 我想你们是把最睿智的办法放到了最后
[07:26] Go ahead, Howard. Dazzle me. 说吧 霍华德 惊我一下
[07:31] My power is the ability to pretend 我的超能力就是我可以
[07:34] like I give a damn about your piddily-ass problems. 假装我很在意你这尿频尿急类的鬼问题
[07:43] And that’s 24-seven, buddy. 而且我能一直装下去 伙计
[07:47] And I appreciate the pretense. 我很感激你如此做作
[07:51] So, what do you say, Sheldon? 怎么样啊 谢尔顿
[07:52] Are we your X-Men? 我们是你的X战警吗
[07:54] No. 不是
[07:55] The X-Men were named for the “X” in Charles Xavier. X战警这名字来源于X教授的姓氏
[07:58] Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-Men. 既然我叫谢尔顿·库珀 那你们就是C战警(与精液谐音)
[08:08] Oh, that’s not a good name. 这名字可不怎么好听
[08:15] Okay, Sheldon. I’m going to be leading you 好了 谢尔顿 我将引导你进行
[08:18] through a series of meditation exercises. 一系列的冥想练习
[08:21] These methods come from the ancient gurus of India 这些方法是从古代印度大师那里
[08:24] and have helped me overcome my own fears. 传承下来的 也帮我克服了自己的恐惧
[08:28] And yet, you can’t speak to women. 可你还是不敢和女人说话
[08:32] True, but thanks to meditation, I am able to stay 确实 不过托冥想的福 我可以和女人
[08:34] in the same room with them without urinating. 呆在同一房间 而且不会被吓到尿裤子
[08:39] Now… close your eyes. 现在 闭上双眼
[08:43] Okay, but don’t punch me. 好的 不过不许打我
[08:45] What? 什么
[08:47] When I was little, my sister would say to me, 小时候 我姐姐会对我说
[08:49] “Close your eyes, you’ll get a surprise,” “闭上双眼 惊喜出现”
[08:51] and then she’d punch me. 然后她就会给我一拳
[08:53] I’m not going to punch you. 我不会打你的
[08:55] That’s what my sister used to say. 我姐姐以前也这么说的
[08:57] Do you want to do this or not? 你到底还练不练了
[08:59] I’m sorry. Proceed. 抱歉 请继续
[09:01] All right. 好的
[09:03] Imagine yourself in the one place you feel most at home. 想象你正身处一个 最有家的感觉的地方
[09:06] Where is that? 是哪里呢
[09:08] Sim City. 模拟城市[一款游戏]
[09:12] More specifically, the Sim City I designed– 更确切地说 是我设计的模拟城市
[09:15] Sheldonopolis. 谢尔顿奥波利斯
[09:18] Okay, you’re in Sheldonopolis. 好的 你身处谢尔顿奥波利斯
[09:20] Where exactly? 确切的地点是哪
[09:22] Sheldon Square? Sheldon Towers? 谢尔顿广场 谢尔顿之塔
[09:24] Sheldon Stadium, home of the Fighting Sheldons? 还是人称谢尔顿勇士之家的谢尔顿运动场
[09:28] Whatever you like. 随你喜欢
[09:29] I thought this was supposed to be a guided meditation. 不是说你引导我冥想吗
[09:32] Fine. You’re in Sheldon Square. 好吧 你在谢尔顿广场
[09:35] Really? This time of year? 是吗 这个季节吗
[09:36] It’s a bit nippy. 那可有点冷
[09:37] Then, put on a sweater. 那就穿件毛衣
[09:39] Suppose I could run downtown 那我可以去市中心的
[09:41] and pick up something at Shel-Mart. 谢尔玛买一件
[09:45] Yeah, whatever. Just go buy a sweater. 随便啊 去买件毛衣就是了
[09:47] You know, the nice thing about Shel-Mart is I own it, 好处就是谢尔玛是我开的
[09:49] so I get a 15% discount. 所以我买东西85折
[09:51] You own the damn thing. Just take a freaking sweater! 还不都你说了算 痛快拿件毛衣就行了
[09:55] Look, I didn’t turn a profit last quarter 上一季度我根本没有盈利
[09:57] by taking product off the shelves willy-nilly. 就是因为我肆无忌惮地拿东西不给钱
[10:00] All right. 好吧
[10:03] You’ve paid for a sweater, and you’re in Sheldon Square. 你买了件毛衣 现在你在谢尔顿广场
[10:07] Hang on. 等等
[10:11] It’s a cardigan. I have to button it. 是开衫的 我得扣上扣子
[10:16] Oh, no. 不会吧
[10:18] What now? 又怎么了
[10:19] A Godzilla-like monster is approaching the city. 一个类似哥斯拉的怪物正在接近城市
[10:22] I have to get my people to safety. 我得把我的市民转移到安全区
[10:24] People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor. 谢尔顿奥波利斯的市民们 我是你们的市长
[10:27] Follow me. 跟着我
[10:29] If the children can’t run, leave them behind. 小孩子要是跑不了 就别管他们了
[10:34] Oh, the simulated horror! 哎哟妈呀 模拟恐怖效果贼棒
[10:46] Raj? 拉杰
[10:49] Just as I suspected. 我就知道
[10:51] Meditation is nothing but hokum. 什么冥想不过是噱头
[11:01] I question your premise. 我相当质疑你的说法
[11:02] How is a new suit going to prevent me 要防止我在满屋子人面前晕倒
[11:04] from passing out in front of a ballroom full of people? 买套新西装有个毛用了
[11:07] It’ll give you confidence. 那会让你充满自信
[11:09] You know, sometimes when I’m feeling all stressed out 只要我倍感压力时
[11:10] about something, I go out and buy a cute top 我就会去买件可爱上衣
[11:13] or a fun skirt and I have a whole new outlook on life. 或漂漂裙裙 如此一来就会容光焕发
[11:16] Don’t you eventually realize you’re just the same stressed out person 你傻的啊 难道你没意识到 你只是换了皮囊 内压犹在啊
[11:20] in a cute top or a fun skirt? 穿可爱上装和漂漂裙裙有啥用
[11:22] Yeah, that’s when I buy shoes. 是的 所以还要买鞋子
[11:26] Now, let’s see what we’ve got. 我们来选选
[11:28] This is nice. 这件帅气
[11:31] It’s only one color. 这件就一个颜色
[11:34] Yeah, so? 是啊 咋了
[11:35] That’s a lot of money for only one color. 就一个颜色还这么贵 岂不是亏了
[11:38] Fine. 好吧
[11:39] Why don’t you pick out what you like. 你自己选自己喜欢的
[11:45] This is pretty sharp. 这件很犀利
[11:52] No. You’re wrong. 不 没门儿
[11:56] This is great. 这件够劲
[11:58] I had a suit like this when I was six. 我六岁时也有件差不多样式的
[12:05] Okay, I think we have a winner. 好吧 这件绝对无可挑剔
[12:10] Where the hell’d you find that? 靠 你哪儿弄来的这件
[12:12] In the prom department. 舞会礼服柜台
[12:14] It’s ridiculous. 这也太可笑了
[12:16] Says the former member of the Corn Queen’s Court. 玉米皇后团前团员没资格说这话吧
[12:21] Please just try this one on. 去试试这件再说
[12:23] Okay. But anything I put on now is only going to suffer in comparison. 好吧 现在不管我穿啥 和之前的相比都只能相形见拙了
[12:34] This is absurd. I look like a clown. 这太荒唐了 简直像个小丑
[12:41] So, Sheldon… 谢尔顿
[12:46] …how you doing? 你最近如何
[12:48] That’s how you start a psychotherapy session? 你就这样开始心理治疗吗
[12:52] “How am I doing?” 居然问这种蠢问题
[12:53] I was promised a riverboat journey 我本来满心期待进行一场
[12:55] into the jungles of my subconscious. 对自我潜意识的探寻之旅
[12:58] Instead, I get the same question I hear 结果呢 我都听到什么鬼问题啊
[13:00] from the lady who slices my bologna at Ralph’s. 拉尔夫餐厅切香肠的女招待都问得出来
[13:04] I’m sorry, I’ll start again. 抱歉 我重来
[13:06] Would it be helpful to you if I told you about my dreams? 我还是说说我的梦境吧 对你有帮助吗
[13:10] Um, I don’t know, maybe. 我也不知道 也许吧
[13:12] I recently had a dream that I was a giant. 我最近做了个梦 梦到我变成了巨人
[13:17] But everything around me was to scale, 但周围的东西还是原来的比例
[13:19] so it all looked normal. 所以相比之下没什么差别
[13:25] How did you know you were a giant if everything was to scale? 既然周围东西都没什么变化 你怎么知道自己变成了巨人
[13:29] I was wearing size a million pants. 我穿着条型号为一百万的裤子
[13:35] Why don’t we just talk? 我们还是来自由谈话吧
[13:39] The talking cure. Classical Freudian. Good choice. 自由谈话疗法 经典精神分析疗法 不错
[13:41] If it will help speed things along, 我补充一点可能会有所帮助
[13:43] uh, my answers to the standard Rorschach ink blot test are: 我做标准罗夏墨迹测验的结果是
[13:43] ([投射测验: 猜测模糊图形以投射潜意识和内心想法])
[13:47] A) a bat, B) a bat, c) a bat, 图A 蝙蝠 图B 蝙蝠 图C 蝙蝠
[13:52] and D) my father killing my mother with a hypodermic needle. 图D 我爸想用皮下注射器杀死我妈
[13:58] Why don’t I just start? 还是我来说吧
[14:00] Sometimes people have trouble accepting accolades 这种事时有发生 人们难以接受一项荣誉
[14:05] if, on a subconscious level, they don’t feel they deserve them. 那是因为在潜意识中 他们自觉不配拥有
[14:09] Do you think maybe that’s what’s happening here? 会不会你的原因也是如此呢
[14:11] Really, Leonard? 真的假的 莱纳德
[14:15] You’re just going to try to recycle Adler’s doctrine 你是想把阿德勒学说中的
[14:18] of the inferiority complex? 自卑情结套用在我身上吗
[14:19] I could probably get that from the woman at Ralph’s. 这连拉尔夫餐厅的女招待都知道
[14:22] And she’d let me taste some pieces of cheese for free. 说不定她还会白送我芝士呢
[14:25] But it could be part of your problem. 但这可能是问题所在
[14:27] Let me give you an example. 我举个例子吧
[14:29] When I was eight, 我8岁时
[14:30] I won a ribbon at the science fair 我的一个项目 “古典音乐有助青豆生长”
[14:33] for my project, “Do Lima Beans Grow Better to Classical Music.” 在科技展上得了奖 授予了我一条勋带
[14:36] But my mother pointed out 但我妈妈却说
[14:39] that it was just a rehash of my brother’s earlier 这和我哥哥以前的研究 “摇滚乐有害于青豆生长”
[14:42] “Do Lima Beans Grow Worse to Rock ‘n’ Roll.” 根本没差 只不过换汤不换药
[14:46] I felt so guilty, I gave the ribbon back. 我倍受打击 于是把勋带退了回去
[14:50] And how did that make you feel? 你感觉如何
[14:52] Terrible. 糟透了
[14:54] I worked really hard on that project. 对那个研究我付出了很多心血
[14:57] I stayed up all night singing the clown’s aria from Pagliacci 我整晚都不睡 就对着青豆芽
[15:01] to a lima bean sprout. 唱《丑角》里的咏叹调[莱昂卡瓦洛作曲]
[15:04] Go on. 继续说
[15:07] It wasn’t my fault. 这又不是我的错
[15:09] I had never seen my brother’s project. 我不知道我哥的研究
[15:12] And my mother could’ve told me before 我妈之前本可以告诉我
[15:14] instead of at the ceremony in front of everyone. 她却在颁奖典礼上当着众人面说出来
[15:18] So, I hear you saying you’re angry with your mother. 这么说 你很生你母亲的气咯
[15:22] Damn right, I’m angry with my mother. 当然气 我恨死她了
[15:31] For God’s sake, I was eight years old. 行行好嘛 我那会儿才8岁
[15:34] She humiliated me. 她却这么当众羞辱我
[15:36] That’s when the bed-wetting started again. 就是在那之后 我又开始尿床
[15:40] Thank you, Leonard. 多谢了 莱纳德
[15:42] For what? 谢什么啊
[15:44] If someone as damaged as you 像你这样受了如此打击
[15:45] can find his way to crawl out of bed each morning, 还能每天早上从床上爬起来
[15:48] I think I can face a simple award ceremony. 我想小小一个颁奖典礼 应该不成问题
[15:51] Wait, that’s it? I thought we had a whole hour! 等等 就这样吗 不是该有一整个小时的吗
[15:57] Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, 女士们先生们 晚上好 我是莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德博士
[16:01] and it is my very great honor to introduce 很荣幸向各位隆重介绍
[16:03] the winner of this year’s Chancellor’s award for Science 本年度大学科学奖得主
[16:06] and my good friend, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 我的好友谢尔顿·库珀博士
[16:10] But before I do, 但在此之前
[16:12] I’d like to share with you a letter from Sheldon’s mother, 请允许我先宣读下谢尔顿母亲的来信
[16:15] who couldn’t be here tonight. 很遗憾她今晚未能亲临
[16:16] Isn’t that nice? His mother sent him a letter. 很温馨了 是吧 他妈妈给他写了封信
[16:21] She’s proud of him. I wonder what that feels like… 他为自己儿子感到自豪 真想知道那会是什么感觉…
[16:28] “Dear Shelly.” that’s what she calls him. Shelly– it’s a pet name. 亲爱的谢利 她都是这么叫他的 谢利 这是个昵称
[16:34] You know what my mother’s pet name for me is? Leonard. 知道我妈给我取的什么昵称吗 莱纳德
[16:39] But I digress. 我又离题了
[16:43] “Dear Shelly…” 亲爱的谢利…
[16:44] Oh, dear. 天哪
[16:46] What’s the matter? 你怎么了
[16:47] I’m getting dizzy. 我有点晕
[16:48] Don’t worry. 别担心
[16:49] You’re surrounded by your C-Men. 你的C战警们(精液 semen)都守护着你
[16:54] I can’t do this. 我做不到
[16:55] I’m going to faint. 我要晕倒了
[16:56] Here, drink this.It’ll relax you. 给 喝点这个 能让你放松
[16:58] Alcohol? 酒吗
[16:59] – I don’t drink alcohol. – Fine, faint. -我不喝酒的 -好吧 那你晕吧
[17:06] I don’t feel different.This alcohol is defective. 没觉得有何不同 这酒根本没用
[17:09] Here, see if this one works. 给 看这个有没有用
[17:13] First of all, the projects were totally different. 首先 那是完全不同的实验主题
[17:19] I was showing that classical music nurtures lima beans 我的实验证明 培植青豆时 给它们放古典乐
[17:23] and makes them grow, but my mother didn’t hear me. 能促进它们生长 但我妈根本不听我的
[17:26] If you’d like to look at the relationship between nurturing and growth, 想知道精心培育能不能促进成长吗
[17:29] I’d like to point out that my brother is eight inches taller than me. 我想郑重指出 我哥哥比我高了整整八英寸[20cm]
[17:33] I’m ready. 我准备好了
[17:38] right. 对了
[17:39] Ladies and gentlemen, our guest of honor Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 女士们先生们 欢迎我们的贵宾 谢尔顿·库珀博士
[17:45] Thanks, shorty, I’ll take it from here. 谢了小矮人 下面我接手就行了
[17:49] All right, you people ready to have some fun? 好了 大家准备好来点乐子了吗
[17:52] You have a basic understanding of differential calculus 你们都对微积分有基本认识
[17:54] and at least one year of algebraic topology? 并至少学过一年代数拓扑吧
[17:57] Well, then here come the jokes. 好吧 下面是笑话时间
[18:00] ([一个单侧曲面 “科学松鼠会”有过详细介绍])
[18:00] Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? 鸡为什么要穿过默比乌斯带
[18:04] To get to the same side– bazinga! 为了回到同一侧 逗你玩呢
[18:08] All right, a neutron walks into a bar and asks, “How much for a drink?” 还有 一个中子走进家酒吧问道 酒多少钱一杯
[18:11] The bartender says, “For you, no charge.” 酒保回答 你买吗 免费(无电荷)
[18:18] Hello? 有人在吗
[18:21] I know you’re out there. 我知道你们在的
[18:22] I can hear you metabolizing oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide. 能听到你们代谢氧气 排出二氧化碳的声音
[18:27] Looks like we have some academic dignitaries in the audience. 观众中好像不乏学术权威啊
[18:31] Dr. Randall from the geology department– 地质学系的兰德尔教授
[18:33] ([跟take for granted谐音])
[18:33] only man who’s happy when they take his work for granite. 唯一一位别人说他(研究花岗岩)”花岗岩脑袋” 他还得笑纳的人
[18:36] Ba-da cha! 巴扎嘿
[18:40] I kid the geologists, of course, 当然 我是在拿地质学家开涮
[18:42] but it’s only ’cause I have no respect for the field. 那只是因为我压根就没把那当回事儿
[18:46] Let’s get serious for a moment. 下面我们来谈点严肃话题
[18:52] Why are we all here? 我们今天为何齐聚于此
[18:55] ‘Cause we’re scientists. 因为我们是科学家
[18:57] And what do scientists study? 科学家是研究什么的
[18:59] The universe. 宇宙
[19:01] And what’s the universe made of? 宇宙由何构成
[19:03] I am so glad you asked. 很高兴你提这问题
[19:06] There’s antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium 有锑 砷 铝 硒
[19:06] ([The Element’s Song 化学元素周期表歌])
[19:10] And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium 有氢 氧 氮 铼
[19:12] And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium 还有镍 钕 镎 锗
[19:15] Everybody! 一起唱
[19:16] And iron, americium 还有铁 镅
[19:18] Ruthenium, uranium, europium, zirconium, 钌 铀 铕 锆
[19:21] Lutetium, vanadium 镥 钒
[19:22] Just the Asians! 亚洲人唱
[19:23] And lanthanum and osmium 还有镧和锇
[19:25] And astatine and radium… 砹和镭
[19:43] Penny, Leonard. 佩妮 莱纳德
[19:45] Would you be able to answer some questions 你们能不能帮我答疑解惑
[19:48] I’m having about the events of last night? 昨天晚上我到底怎么回事
[19:51] Sure. 当然
[19:53] Question one… 问题一
[19:55] where are my pants? 我的裤子上哪去了
[19:57] You might want to check YouTube. 你可以上YouTube看一下
[20:01] What do I search? 怎么找
[20:03] It’s already loaded. Just hit play. 已经缓冲好了 直接点开看吧
[20:07] All right, people, let’s get down to the math. 好了各位 让我们来聊聊数学吧
[20:11] It is only three dimensional thinking that limits our imagination. 仅仅用三维的思考方式 会限制我们的想象力
[20:16] Can I take my pants off over my head? 我能从头上脱了裤子吗
[20:18] Of course not. 当然不行
[20:21] My body’s in the way. 还有我身体挡着的 [视频名:物理学家斯文扫地]
[20:22] But if we had access to higher dimensions, 但只要能进入更高维度
[20:28] we could move our pants around our bodies 就能通过第四维度
[20:32] through the fourth dimension 让裤子绕着身体转圈
[20:35] and our days of dropping trousers would be over. 以后就再没脱裤子这么一说了
[20:43] Oh, Lord… 天哪
[20:45] This couldn’t be any more humiliating. 真是丢人丢到家了
[20:47] Give it a minute. 还没完呢
[20:48] Now, for the astronomers in the audience, 现在 在座的各位天文学家们
[20:51] get ready to see the dark side of the moon. 准备好看看月亮背面吧
[20:54] And here’s Uranus. 还有天王星在此[Uranus 谐音your anus菊花]
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