时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:04] | Wait, Bron-Bron, | 慢着 布布 |
[00:06] | does Chris Keith know you exist yet? | 克里斯·基斯知道你的存在吗 |
[00:07] | No, but I think he senses me. | 不知道 但我觉得他能感觉到我 |
[00:10] | Have you tried dropping a pencil in front of him like I taught you? | 你有没有像我教你那样在他面前掉支铅笔 |
[00:12] | I think that’s too adult. | 那太成人了吧 |
[00:13] | No, it’s only adult if you pick it up with no hands. | 不会啊 不用手捡才叫成人 |
[00:16] | I can pick up a pencil with one foot | 我能用一只脚捡笔 |
[00:17] | and then sharpen it with the other. | 再用另一只脚削尖它 |
[00:18] | And you don’t have a boyfriend? | 这样你还没男朋友 |
[00:20] | I know, right? | 可不是嘛 |
[00:21] | I think you need to try Internet dating. | 你得试试网上交友 |
[00:23] | I don’t know, my sister had a really bad experience. | 算了吧 我姐有过一次超烂的经历 |
[00:25] | They matched her up with, like, a 300-pound guy. | 交友网站给她找了个270多斤的男人 |
[00:28] | Why would an Internet dating site | 他们怎么能 |
[00:29] | hook her up with a guy that’s so much smaller than her? | 给她介绍比她瘦这么多的男人呢 |
[00:33] | Oh, there’s my dad. | 我爸来了 |
[00:34] | It’s his weekend with me. | 这个周末我跟他过 |
[00:35] | – See you next week. – Bye. | -下周见 -再见 |
[00:37] | – See ya. – Bye. | -回见 -拜拜 |
[00:39] | Why does Bronwen’s dad look so familiar? | 布朗温的爸爸怎么这么眼熟 |
[00:41] | He sells fancy houses to rich people. | 他卖豪宅给有钱人 |
[00:43] | His face is on billboards and park benches all over town. | 城里的广告牌和公园长凳上都是他的照片 |
[00:46] | He’s Million Dollar Mike? | 他就是”百万美元麦克” |
[00:48] | I’ve sat on his face a bunch of times! | 我在他脸上坐过好多次呢 |
[00:50] | I left my violin inside. | 我的小提琴在里面忘拿了 |
[00:53] | But look, my dad got me this cute bag. | 快看 我爸给我买了这个靓包 |
[00:55] | He had to cancel our weekend away and felt bad. | 他之前不得不取消我们的周末 为此很愧疚 |
[00:57] | Okay, girls, hit me with a quick one. | 姑娘们 速速给姐打造女神形象 |
[01:10] | – Thanks. – Hey! | -谢了 -搞毛 |
[01:16] | Disregard the lollipop; it’s an oral fixation. | 请无视这根棒棒糖 只是口唇抚慰而已 |
[01:19] | You must be Bronwen’s daddy. | 你一定是布朗温的爸爸吧 |
[01:21] | I have heard so much about you. | 我听她说了好多你的事 |
[01:22] | But nothing about how handsome you are in person. | 不过她从没说过你本人这么帅 |
[01:27] | And you must be Bronwen’s teacher, Ms., uh… | 你一定是布朗温的老师 叫… |
[01:29] | Ms. Davis. But it’s, uh, Meredith to you. | 戴维斯老师 不过你可以叫我梅瑞迪丝啦 |
[01:32] | Meredith, oh, she braids your hair. | 梅瑞迪丝 她给你编头发 |
[01:34] | I was under the impression that you were a student. | 我还以为你是学生呢 |
[01:36] | And I’m under the impression you’re taking me to dinner Monday. | 而我认为你周一会请我共进晚餐 |
[01:38] | I’m gonna take you out to dinner Monday? | 我周一要请你共进晚餐 |
[01:40] | I mean, I hardly know you. | 人家几乎都不认识你呢 |
[01:42] | But I would love to. | 但我很乐意与你共进晚餐 |
[01:44] | Well, that would, uh, that would be fun, uh… | 那 那一定会很有意思 |
[01:46] | Just a heads up, since the divorce, | 不过先说一下 离婚之后 |
[01:48] | Bronwen has to approve of any girl that I date. | 我必须得到布朗温的同意才能约会 |
[01:51] | You know, she’s a daddy’s girl, so that’s one rule I can’t break | 她是我的宝贝女儿 这条规矩无论怎样都不能破 |
[01:54] | no matter how fast you get to the center of that | 不管你多快能舔到那根棒棒糖的 |
[01:58] | – Tootsie Pop. – Well, don’t worry, | -中心眼儿 -别担心 |
[01:59] | Bronwen and I are in Safety Patrol together | 我和布朗温都是安全巡逻队的 |
[02:01] | and we’re very good friends. | 我们是非常好的朋友 |
[02:03] | I mean, if I had to have a sister, | 如果我要有个 |
[02:04] | and she had to be brunette, I would want it to be Bronwen. | 深色头发的妹妹 那必须是布朗温啊 |
[02:08] | We’re that close. | 我们就是这么亲密 |
[02:09] | Great. Well, if she says yes, | 好极了 如果她赞成 |
[02:11] | you can get my number off of any billboard or park bench. | 广告牌或是公园长凳上就能找到我的电话 |
[02:15] | I’m just kidding. | 我在开玩笑啦 |
[02:17] | I’m actually not kidding. | 其实并没有 |
[02:18] | You can get my number off of any billboard or park bench. | 你可以在任何广告牌或是公园长凳上找到我的号码 |
[02:21] | So I’ll just keep my fingers crossed. | 那我就盼着这事能成了 |
[02:23] | – Bye, Meredith. – Bye, honey. | -再见 梅瑞迪丝 -再见 亲爱的 |
[02:28] | I’ll see you on Monday. | 周一见 |
[02:30] | And I’ll see you on Monday night. | 而你 咱们周一晚上见 |
[02:36] | Here. Now you know how to use it. | 拿着 现在你知道怎么用它了吧 |
[02:46] | Good news, everyone! | 各位 好消息 |
[02:48] | The superintendent has just informed me | 警长刚通知我 |
[02:51] | that it is time for our yearly locker inspections. | 是时候进行年度储物柜检查了 |
[02:54] | I’m not in love with this responsibility, | 我也不喜欢做这种事 |
[02:57] | but since my divorce, I’m trying to remain positive. | 但离婚之后 我尽量保持积极的心态 |
[03:00] | Trying to see that glass as half full. | 将半空的杯子看作是半满的 |
[03:02] | Which it rarely is, as my roommate Ron | 但不太可能 因为我的室友罗恩 |
[03:05] | finishes my sodas when I doze off. | 趁我打盹就会喝光我的汽水 |
[03:07] | But it’s all good! | 但一切都好 |
[03:09] | It’s all good. | 要积极 |
[03:10] | A grown man with a roommate is so… | 这么大人了还跟室友一块儿住… |
[03:13] | Awesome. | 超酷的 |
[03:15] | Right? | 对吧 |
[03:16] | So I’ve been too nervous to pull the trigger on Internet dating. | 我一直很紧张 不敢在网上交友 |
[03:19] | But then Meredith inspired me. | 直到梅瑞迪丝鼓励了我 |
[03:21] | So, I just asked my friends at the Ferret Club for a good site, | 于是我问了雪貂俱乐部的朋友 有什么好网站 |
[03:24] | and they suggested JustSomebody.org. | 他们都推荐世纪佳缘 |
[03:26] | And I-I filled in my name and sex and I was done. | 我只要填上姓名和性别就成了 |
[03:30] | That’s all the information you need to find a match? | 相亲只要这点资料吗 |
[03:33] | Yeah. Just somebody doesn’t ask a lot of questions. | 是啊 他们不用填很多问题 |
[03:35] | And they don’t match so much as they “locate” others. | 找你所想 选你所爱 |
[03:38] | You know, I guess that’s their tagline anyway. | 这好像就是他们的口号吧 |
[03:40] | So, my first date is tomorrow night, and… | 我的初次约会是明晚 |
[03:44] | he is described as: male. | 而他的描述是 男性哦 |
[03:48] | Ooh… I would never date online. | 我就绝不会在网上交友 |
[03:51] | Too dangerous. | 太危险了 |
[03:52] | One minute you’re meeting a guy for U Peel ‘Em Shrimp, | 前一分钟你还在约会吃大虾 |
[03:55] | and the next thing you know, | 接着突然 |
[03:56] | you’re wrapped up in jumper cables, | 就被电线捆住 |
[03:57] | trying to open a car trunk from the inside. | 关在后备车箱里了 |
[04:00] | I’m just saying, | 就随口一说 |
[04:01] | you should write your contact info on your arm. | 你应该把联系信息写在手臂上 |
[04:04] | That way the police will be able to quickly identify your body. | 这样警方就能快速确认你尸体的身份了 |
[04:08] | Okay, Kim, if you don’t mind, | 好了 金姆 你不介意的话 |
[04:10] | I’d like to start with your locker, as it’s already open. | 我想从你的储物柜开始检查 因为它本来就开着 |
[04:12] | Sure, but be careful opening it, because | 好的 不过打开的时候小心点 |
[04:14] | I keep a lot of stuff… | 因为我放了很多东西… |
[04:16] | You’re not even supposed to have a locker | 你都不该在教师休息室 |
[04:18] | in the teachers’ lounge. | 拥有储物柜的 |
[04:19] | You are a student teacher. | 你是实习教师 |
[04:21] | Your locker should be with the students. | 应该用学生的储物柜 |
[04:23] | But I’m an adult. | 但我是成人啊 |
[04:24] | It’s okay. | 没事 |
[04:25] | I’m used to messes. My roommate Ron is a hoarder. | 我都习惯一团乱了 我室友罗恩是囤积狂 |
[04:28] | So I will just consider this locker more than half full. | 我就把这柜子看成超过”半满”吧 |
[04:31] | Because it’s all good. | 一切都好 |
[04:33] | It is all good. | 要积极 |
[04:35] | Oh, Bron-Bron… | 布布 |
[04:37] | I have huge news. | 我有重大消息要宣布 |
[04:38] | What is the greatest thing that you could ever possibly imagine | 想象一下你生命中所能发生的最美妙的事 |
[04:41] | happening in your whole life and then times it by three? | 然后再乘以三倍 |
[04:44] | I am considering dating your dad. | 我在考虑跟你爸约会 |
[04:48] | I know. | 我知道 |
[04:50] | Let it sink in. | 坦然接受 |
[04:51] | Get over the shock. | 别震惊了 |
[04:53] | And then hug me. | 来抱抱吧 |
[04:55] | Not a hugger, I get it! | 不喜欢抱抱 我懂 |
[04:57] | So when I spoke to your dad, | 我跟你爸谈的时候 |
[04:58] | he said that I would need your approval to date him. | 他说我需要得到你的同意才能跟他约会 |
[05:01] | Which is hilarious because obviously, | 这还用问吗 |
[05:04] | as bestie FFs, I already know your answer. | 咱俩是闺蜜啊 我知道你肯定赞成 |
[05:06] | It’s a formality thing. | 咱这就是走走流程 |
[05:09] | Sorry, but it would be weird having my teacher date my dad. | 抱歉 我爸和我的老师约会好奇怪 |
[05:13] | But I’m your friend before I’m your teacher. | 但我首先是你的朋友啊 |
[05:15] | I mean, who taught you how to do that pencil trick? | 谁教你怎么用铅笔那招的 |
[05:17] | And I was even gonna come to your stupid music thing | 我本来还要去你们周五那愚蠢的音乐会呢 |
[05:19] | on Friday, pending my availability. | 当然要先看我有没有空 |
[05:22] | I think it will be better if you don’t date my dad. | 我觉得你最好还是别跟我爸约会 |
[05:31] | That’s so weird– for a second I thought she said | 太奇怪了 有那么一刻我以为她说 |
[05:33] | don’t date her dad. | 别跟她爸约会 |
[05:38] | Hey, Irene, what’s up? | 艾琳 你好啊 |
[05:40] | Uh, I need your help. | 我需要你帮忙 |
[05:41] | I finally filled out my online dating profile | 我终于提交了网上交友资料 |
[05:44] | and I have my first date tomorrow at lunch. | 初次约会是明天午餐 |
[05:46] | His profile name is TvWatcher359. | 他的网名叫”看电视的人359″ |
[05:49] | Apparently I was not a match with TvWatcher one through 358. | 显然我跟看电视的人1到358号没对上眼 |
[05:53] | But you don’t seem too excited. | 你好像不是很激动 |
[05:54] | Well, Ginny told me that online dating is dangerous | 金妮说网上交友很危险 |
[05:57] | and that I should go to Sears and get my portrait done | 她还让我去百货公司拍个大头照 |
[05:59] | so that I have a cute picture | 这样我就有好看的照片 |
[06:00] | for the “In Memoriam” Section of next year’s yearbook. | 放进明年年鉴册里的”缅怀”板块上了 |
[06:03] | You know what? She’s just being dramatic. | 她太抓马了 |
[06:04] | Okay, but maybe you could just teach me | 好吧 但是以防万一 |
[06:06] | some self-defense moves just in case. | 你能不能教我点防身术 |
[06:08] | You know, I do a little online dating, right? | 我有时也会网上交友 |
[06:10] | And I-I haven’t murdered or tried to murder once. | 但我也没杀过人 或是企图想杀人啊 |
[06:13] | You just gotta stay alert and be aware of your surroundings. | 你只要保持警惕 注意周围环境就好 |
[06:16] | Okay, yeah. | 好的 |
[06:17] | I can do that. | 我能做到 |
[06:18] | – Yeah. Thanks, Joel. – No problem. | -谢谢 乔尔 -不客气 |
[06:19] | All right. | 行 |
[06:24] | You know what, buddy? On second thought, | 其实仔细想想 |
[06:26] | maybe I’ll tag along just to be extra safe. | 我还是陪你去比较保险 |
[06:28] | Good idea. | 好主意 |
[06:29] | Bronwen, here’s the thing that I love about our friendship: | 布朗温 咱们的友谊最赞的就是这点 |
[06:32] | We don’t just have problems, we fix problems. | 我们之间即使有问题也都可以解决 |
[06:35] | And me being your teacher is a fixable problem. | 我做你老师这个问题也可以解决 |
[06:38] | Watch. | 瞧着 |
[06:41] | Principal Carl… | 卡尔校长 |
[06:43] | Just a sec, I’m trying to loosen up this towel, which is petrified, | 等下 我在跟这条石化了的毛巾作斗争 |
[06:46] | so it’ll fit in the garbage. | 好把它塞进垃圾桶里 |
[06:49] | All part of the J-O-B. | 为人民服务嘛 |
[06:50] | Now, what can I do you for? | 好了 有什么事吗 |
[06:52] | I was thinking that Bronwen over here might be limited in sixth grade, | 我觉得布朗温在六年级有些屈才 |
[06:56] | and it might be a good idea to promote her to seventh. | 或许我们该让她升到七年级 |
[06:59] | She gets straight As. | 她门门拿A |
[07:00] | She knows more than everyone in the class. | 比班上同学懂的都多 |
[07:02] | Even more than me sometimes. | 甚至有时比我懂的还多 |
[07:04] | I mean, I know more than her– like, she’s stupid | 不过我懂的当然还是比她多啦 |
[07:05] | compared to me but smart for her class. | 她跟班上同学比像牛顿 跟我比像钝牛 |
[07:07] | So, what do you say? | 不知您意下如何 |
[07:09] | Well… uh… it doesn’t happen that often, | 这种事不常有 |
[07:12] | but I guess I could look into it. | 不过我会考虑一下 |
[07:13] | That would be so great. | 那太好了 |
[07:14] | – All right. – Okay. | -行 -好 |
[07:19] | Bron-Bron, isn’t that amazing? | 布布 棒吧 |
[07:21] | You get to go to seventh grade, I get to date your dad. | 你能上七年级 而我能跟你爸约会 |
[07:24] | It’s win-win. | 皆大欢喜 |
[07:28] | I am dizzy in the head on that one. | 这个我真是搞不定了 |
[07:29] | Where should we get our Christmas card picture taken? | 我们去哪里照圣诞卡全家福呢 |
[07:32] | I’m feeling something tropical. | 热带地区比较合我意呢 |
[07:33] | I want to stay in my grade with my friends. | 我想和朋友们在同一年级 |
[07:35] | I’ll promote your friends. | 她们那些鸡犬可随你一同升天 |
[07:37] | – You’re not understanding. – I am understanding. | -你没搞清情况 -我有搞清情况 |
[07:38] | I am bending over backwards to date your dad | 老娘都跪舔你爹了 |
[07:41] | and not in the fun way. | 自己还爽不着 |
[07:42] | I’ll explain it later. | 这个容后再解释 |
[07:43] | Can you think for one second how fun it would be for us | 你有想过如果我和你爸约会 |
[07:46] | if I dated your dad? | 会多有意思吗 |
[07:47] | We could be even better besties… | 我们会更亲密友爱… |
[07:49] | What I want is for you not to date my dad! | 我就是不想让你和我爸约会 |
[07:51] | But why not? You know me. | 为什么呢 你了解我啊 |
[07:54] | I don’t want you to date him because I know you. | 就是因为我了解你才不愿意 |
[07:56] | I know you date guys for their money | 我知道你想钓金龟婿 |
[07:57] | and I know that’s why you’re into my dad. | 也正是因此才看上了我爸 |
[07:59] | Come on… we’re friends. | 别这样 我们是朋友 |
[08:02] | Then, if we’re really friends, you’ll respect | 如果我们真是朋友 那么即使 |
[08:04] | my decision even if you don’t like it. | 你不喜欢我的决定 也依然会尊重 |
[08:17] | I’m so proud of Irene for going on this date. | 我真想为艾琳的勇气点个赞 |
[08:19] | I just can’t believe a good friend would deny me dating her dad. | 闺蜜居然会不让我跟她老爸约会 |
[08:22] | Does Bronwen really think if I dated him | 布朗温真认为我跟她爸约会 |
[08:24] | that I wouldn’t be thinking about her, too? | 就会不在乎她了吗 |
[08:26] | That I’m that self-centered? | 我就那么自私吗 |
[08:28] | Does it seem weird that Irene’s date hasn’t shown up yet? | 艾琳的网友怎么还没来 好奇怪啊 |
[08:30] | I mean, he’s like 30 minutes late. | 这哥们儿迟了快半小时了 |
[08:32] | I’m not self-centered. | 我可不自私 |
[08:33] | If anything, I’m other-people-centered. | 就算私 也是”他私” |
[08:42] | Irene, I-I hate to say this, but | 艾琳 我也不想这么说 |
[08:42] | 艾琳·杜德克 尼克森中学 科学实验室 | |
[08:44] | TvWatcher359 may not be coming. | 但”看电视的人359″也许不会来了 |
[08:47] | Oh, but I planned all these great conversation topics | 可我准备了这些很棒的聊天话题 |
[08:50] | of things we have in common. | 都围绕我们的共同点展开 |
[08:51] | Internet access, the ability to speak English. | 能上网啦 会说人话啦 |
[08:56] | Ah… okay. | 好吧 |
[08:58] | But, um, hey. I-I would love to eat with you. | 不过我愿意和你一起吃饭啊 |
[09:00] | You know, just the two of us | 就咱俩 |
[09:01] | having a nice lunch outside. | 户外聚餐 |
[09:03] | All right. | 好吧 |
[09:05] | Now I’m going to teach you about Indians. | 今天我们要学印第安人的故事 |
[09:07] | When the Americans first came to the States, | 美国人刚来这片新大陆时 |
[09:09] | the Indians were living there. | 印第安人还都住着呢 |
[09:10] | And the two groups quickly became best friends. | 两拨人很快就铁了起来 |
[09:13] | But the Indians wanted to keep all of the land to themselves. | 可是印第安人却不想分享他们的土地 |
[09:17] | And, yes, maybe the land was rich… | 是啊 尽管土地富有 |
[09:21] | in nutrients, | 养分 |
[09:22] | but that didn’t have to be the only reason | 但这可不是美国人想要土地的 |
[09:25] | the Americans wanted the land. | 唯一原因 |
[09:26] | And the Indians really should have known that… | 印第安人真应该搞清楚 |
[09:29] | being besties. | 朋友间的相处之道 |
[09:30] | But instead they just flat-out betrayed the gentle, | 然而他们却直接背叛了高端 |
[09:34] | kind and super hot Americans. | 大气 上档次的美国人 |
[09:38] | Now, has, um, anyone learned | 大家从印第安人的错误中 |
[09:42] | from the Indians’ mistakes? | 学到教训了吗 |
[09:44] | But the Indians were right. | 印第不哭 |
[09:46] | The Americans were wrong. | 美帝无耻 |
[09:48] | Well, I think the history books would disagree with you on that. | 历史书上可不是这么说的 |
[09:50] | Have you even read the history books? | 你看过历史书吗 |
[09:52] | I am the history books! | 老娘就是历史书 |
[09:53] | And you’ve left me no choice. | 而你把老娘逼急了 |
[09:54] | When I was cleaning yesterday, | 昨天我打扫的时候 |
[09:57] | I found this very personal note | 发现这么一张很私人的纸条 |
[10:02] | from you, Bronwen. | 是你写的 布朗温 |
[10:04] | You, uh, want me to read it? | 你 要我读一下吗 |
[10:06] | – I’d love it. – You sure? | -求之不得 -确定 |
[10:08] | – Dead sure. – Okay. | -确定一定以及肯定 -成全你 |
[10:09] | It is to Chris Keith. | 是给克里斯·基斯的 |
[10:13] | And it says: | 上面写着 |
[10:15] | “Hi Chris, it’s Bronwen. | 克里斯 你好 我是布朗温 |
[10:19] | “I have a crush on you. | 我爱上你了 |
[10:21] | “Wanna go out on a date? | 想一起去约会吗 |
[10:23] | Gotta go, I’m having my period.” | 改天聊吧 姨妈来了 |
[10:27] | Hmm, that’s funny. | 有意思 |
[10:28] | I don’t remember writing the note on the back | 我怎么不记得在内衣收据后面 |
[10:30] | of a receipt for Spanx. | 写过什么纸条 |
[10:42] | Mm, but it ended up being pretty fun, actually. | 不过最后还挺好玩的 |
[10:45] | I talked about fantasy novels | 我在谈奇幻小说 |
[10:46] | and Joel talked about fantasy football. | 乔尔在谈梦幻橄榄球 |
[10:49] | Ironically, they both have a character named Ladarius. | 讽刺的是 这两个里面都有个人叫拉戴瑞斯 |
[10:51] | It was cool. | 挺神奇的 |
[10:52] | It was like, as soon as I said my date wasn’t gonna show up, | 我刚说网友目测不会出现了 |
[10:55] | he asked me to have lunch with him. | 他就邀我一起吃午饭 |
[10:57] | – Maybe he’s into you. – Kim! | -他可能看上你了哦 -金姆 |
[11:05] | Well, how did he leave things at the end of lunch? | 午饭结果怎么样 |
[11:07] | Well, he put the leftover food in his baseball cap | 他把剩饭剩菜放在棒球帽里 |
[11:09] | and then he said, “Let’s hang out again.” | 然后说 “下次再一起玩耍吧” |
[11:12] | He is definitely into you. | 他绝对看上你了 |
[11:15] | Friends never want to hang out again. | 朋友间绝对不想再次玩耍的 |
[11:17] | Right? | 对吧 |
[11:18] | Well, Joel’s just lucky that my real date didn’t show up. | 只是碰巧我的网友没来罢了 |
[11:21] | Was he lucky? Or did he ask you out | 是碰巧 还是他故意装作别人 |
[11:24] | pretending to be somebody else? | 来邀你约会 |
[11:27] | Maybe he You’ve Got Mailed you. | 也许他想来段网上情缘 |
[11:30] | He You’ve Got Mailed me? | 他想来段网上情缘 |
[11:31] | He You’ve Got Mailed you. | 他想来段网上情缘 |
[11:33] | I got You’ve Got Mailed? | 我要来段网上情缘了 |
[11:35] | You got You’ve Got Mailed! | 你要来段网上情缘了 |
[11:36] | You’ve got to be kidding me. | 这是在逗我呢 |
[11:38] | Whose locker is this? | 这是谁的储物柜 |
[11:40] | I’m getting Chinese food juice all over my pants. | 中餐酱汁都洒我裤子上了 |
[11:44] | Uh, I have a Tide Stick in my moped. | 我的电瓶车里有去污贴 |
[11:46] | I’m fine, Kim. | 我没事 金姆 |
[11:47] | Do I need just a little bit of encouragement? | 我是不是需要一点鼓励 |
[11:49] | Abso-tootly. This job is thankless. | 这还用问 这工作真是费力不讨好 |
[11:51] | But I own it. | 可这是我自己的工作 |
[11:53] | Unlike my apartment, which is Ron’s. | 不像我的公寓 那是罗恩的 |
[12:01] | For the love of God, I have a master’s degree! | 扑街啊 老子好歹有张硕士文凭呢 |
[12:08] | Thank you so much. | 太感谢你了 |
[12:09] | Good luck with the test on Friday. | 周五考试加油哦 |
[12:12] | Oh, hold up, little guy. | 小朋友 等下 |
[12:14] | Here you go. | 拿去吧 |
[12:15] | It’s a buyer’s market. | 现在是买方市场 |
[12:16] | The APR has never been lower. | 房价空前之低 |
[12:18] | A carpenter has his hammer. I have magnets with my face on them. | 木匠的神器是锤子 我的神器是帅脸 |
[12:21] | So… So I-I got your message | 话说我收到你的留言了 |
[12:23] | and I’m thrilled that you called. | 心里还有点小激动呢 |
[12:24] | But I’m hoping everything’s okay. | 不过没出什么事吧 |
[12:26] | Well, that depends. | 看情况了 |
[12:27] | It’s about my number one student, Bronwen. | 是有关我得意门生布朗温的 |
[12:29] | Can I get you anything? A glass of wine? Scotch? | 想喝点什么吗 红酒 苏格兰威士忌 |
[12:33] | You keep alcohol here in the classroom? | 你在教室里还放酒 |
[12:34] | Of course not. | 当然没有 |
[12:36] | Mike, I asked you here today because | 麦克 我今天叫你来是因为 |
[12:39] | I’m very concerned about Bronwen. | 我非常担心布朗温 |
[12:40] | As you know, I-I care very much for her, | 你知道我多在乎她 |
[12:43] | and I’m worried | 我担心 |
[12:45] | that she has some… pretty serious issues | 她十分介意 |
[12:49] | with you… | 你去 |
[12:51] | finding love. | 寻找真爱 |
[12:54] | I am so sorry. | 不好意思 |
[12:55] | I really want to enjoy this, but… | 我挺想享受这一刻的 但是 |
[12:56] | your heel is digging into my thigh. | 你的鞋跟扎进我大腿了 |
[12:58] | – Oh, sorry. – Might have broken some skin. | -不好意思 -貌似都破皮了 |
[13:01] | Look, I understand where she’s coming from. | 我知道她为什么会这样 |
[13:05] | If I were her, I would want to keep you all to myself, too. | 如果是我 我也想独自霸占你 |
[13:09] | I would just want to… | 我心里只会想着 |
[13:10] | pull you in, hold you tight, | 将你狠狠拥入怀中 |
[13:12] | trim your sideburns and… | 整理你的鬓角 |
[13:14] | never let you go. | 锁住你的心 |
[13:15] | But it’s not healthy. | 但这种心态不健康 |
[13:17] | She’s the kid. | 她是孩子 |
[13:19] | You’re the dad. | 你是爸爸 |
[13:21] | Maybe you’re right. | 你说得没错 |
[13:23] | You know, I should… trim my sideburns. | 我是该修下我的鬓角 |
[13:26] | But then I’d have to change | 不过这样就得把大街小巷的 |
[13:27] | the-the benches and the magnets, | 所有小广告和我的名片都换了 |
[13:29] | and that would be a big hassle. | 可得费老劲儿了 |
[13:37] | Oh, hey, sweetheart! | 甜心 |
[13:41] | What are you doing here, Meredith? | 梅瑞迪丝 你在这里干什么 |
[13:42] | Oh, I’m just hanging with your dad. | 我在和你爸爸聊天 |
[13:45] | Honey, Meredith really put things in perspective. | 宝贝 梅瑞迪丝帮我分析了一下 |
[13:48] | I think we both need to be more open with how Daddy dates. | 是时候放宽爸比约会的规定了 |
[13:51] | Mmm, that’s such a good point. | 这主意真不错 |
[13:53] | – Well, you made it. – Oh, I did. | -是你想出来的啊 -是啊 |
[13:55] | This is gonna be so good for us. | 这对我们两人来说都是件好事 |
[13:57] | Because then I can teach you after school, too. | 这样一来放了学我也可以教你了 |
[13:59] | Like I never finished that lesson about the Indians. | 比如印第安人的故事我在课上就没讲完 |
[14:02] | When the Indians told the Americans they couldn’t | 印第安人告诉美国人他们不能分享土地时 |
[14:04] | have any of their land, the Americans took the land anyway. | 美国人还是把土地抢走了 |
[14:09] | So get in here, you! | 所以快进来吧你 |
[14:11] | Come on! Hurry! We want to take you for ice cream. | 快点吧 我们想带你去吃冰淇淋 |
[14:17] | See? Kind of pays off not having boobs. | 怎么样 没胸不挤真划算 |
[14:21] | One big, happy family. | 共建和谐家庭 |
[14:33] | I figured out what you did. | 我知道你的把戏了 |
[14:35] | You are TvWatcher359. | 你就是”看电视的人359″ |
[14:38] | – No… – Shh. It’s okay. | -不… -没关系 |
[14:41] | You You’ve Got Mailed me, and I think it’s cute. | 你想和我来段网上情缘 我觉得挺可爱 |
[14:44] | I-I wish I could take credit… | 我也想承认… |
[14:45] | That makes me feel so much better. | 这治愈了我孤独的心 |
[14:47] | You know, I haven’t been in a relationship since I got dumped | 自从在”地球风与火”演唱会上被人甩了 |
[14:49] | at an Earth, Wind & Fire reunion concert. | 我就再没有谈过恋爱了 |
[14:51] | Actually, it was just Fire ’cause | 其实当时演唱会就剩”火”了 |
[14:53] | Earth and Wind got in a fender bender on the way to the fair. | “地球”和”风”在来的路上出了点小车祸 |
[14:55] | But I am so happy that it was you | 总之很高兴你约了我 |
[14:57] | and that I didn’t get stood up again. | 让我没被再次放鸽子 |
[14:59] | Guilty. Yeah, that was me. | 你猜对了 就是我 |
[15:01] | Yeah, all the way. 100%. | 自始至终 从头到尾 |
[15:04] | Looking for sex online, you know? | 就是想网上约个炮 |
[15:05] | I get it. I know I’m your type: | 我明白 你就好我这口 |
[15:07] | smart, skinny, the slightest hint of spinal curvature. | 聪明 骨感 脊柱略微侧弯 |
[15:11] | Men love curves. | 男人就爱这种曲线 |
[15:12] | And don’t get me wrong. I mean, | 不过别误解我的意思 |
[15:14] | we would be fierce lovers. | 我们可以天雷勾动地火 |
[15:16] | But… | 但是 |
[15:19] | we’ve been friends a long time, Joel, | 乔尔 我们当了太长时间的朋友 |
[15:20] | and I think it would be a mistake to ruin it. | 不应该为炮舍友 |
[15:23] | Plus, I have a very strict | 另外 我自己有条规矩 |
[15:25] | don’t-poop-where-you-eat policy. | “貂子”不吃窝边草 |
[15:26] | I learned that from my ferrets. | 从我养的雪貂那里学来的 |
[15:28] | This is tough, but… | 心碎一地 但是 |
[15:31] | I understand. | 可以理解 |
[15:32] | Okay. | 那就好 |
[15:36] | How’d you come up with the name TvWatcher359 anyway? | 你为什么要起”看电视的人359″这个名字 |
[15:40] | Great question. Um, I… | 好问题 我 |
[15:42] | ‘Cause I have a TV and I watch it, you know? | 我有台电视 我会看它 |
[15:45] | And then, um, my… I was born on March… | 然后 我出生于3月 |
[15:49] | 59th. | 59号 |
[15:53] | I know it’s weird that your teacher is dating your dad. | 我知道你老师和你爸爸约会有些怪怪的 |
[15:57] | But you’re more mature than a lot of adults I know. | 但你比我认识的许多成年人都明事理 |
[16:01] | So… we’re gonna get through this, | 我们会解决这件事的 |
[16:04] | and we’re gonna be even better friends in the end. | 最终我们会成为更好的朋友 |
[16:09] | Also, you’re so pretty and skinny. | 再说你漂亮又骨感 |
[16:12] | – Are we okay? – Yeah. | -没事了吧 -嗯 |
[16:15] | When all is said and done, | 话说回来 |
[16:16] | if anybody’s gonna date my dad, I guess I’m glad it’s you. | 我爸要跟人约会的话 我很高兴那个人是你 |
[16:20] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[16:21] | Me, too. | 我也这么觉得 |
[16:26] | Learn from me, Lily. | 跟姐学着 莉莉 |
[16:27] | It is going so well. We’re going away for the weekend, | 一切顺利 我们周末要去度假 |
[16:30] | staying at a five-star resort on the water. | 住五星级宾馆 还是水上的哦 |
[16:33] | Wait, you guys are going away this weekend? | 慢着 你们是这个周末出去吗 |
[16:35] | Yeah. Friday after school. You want me to nick you some soap? | 周五放学就走 要我给你顺点肥皂吗 |
[16:37] | This is why Bronwen didn’t want you to date her dad. | 所以布朗温才不想让你和他爸爸约会 |
[16:40] | He’s gonna miss our violin recital, | 他要翘掉我们的小提琴演奏会了 |
[16:41] | like he misses everything. | 就像他翘掉各种活动一样 |
[16:43] | That’s why Bronwen has so much nice stuff. | 这也是为什么布朗温有那么多好东西 |
[16:45] | He buys her things instead of showing up. | 她老爸每次不来就会送她东西 |
[16:50] | – But in a bad way? – Yes. She wants him there. | -这不好吗 -废话 她想见爸爸 |
[16:53] | That’s why she doesn’t approve of anybody dating her dad. | 所以她不赞成任何人和她爸爸约会 |
[16:56] | She barely sees him as it is. | 她本来就很少见到爸爸了 |
[16:59] | – But in a ba… – Yes! | -这不好… -废话 |
[17:01] | – In a bad way! – Okay. | -这不好 -知道了 |
[17:17] | “Dear Principal Carl, | 亲爱的卡尔校长 |
[17:19] | You are an amazing leader.” | 您是位好领导 |
[17:24] | “I appreciate your dedication, | 您为人民服务的热情让我敬佩 |
[17:25] | “and I hope I can be just like you | 我希望我毕业以后 |
[17:28] | when I get out of school.” | 也能成为您这样的人 |
[17:31] | Oh, boy. That’s a good punch there. | 这话太给劲 戳中泪点了 |
[17:34] | Carl Maurice Gaines, you are appreciated. | 卡尔·莫里斯·盖恩斯 同学们爱你 |
[17:46] | I got an e-mail from TvWatcher359. | “看电视的人359″给我发邮件了 |
[17:50] | Oh. Okay. You… So, you got my e-mail. | 好吧 我给你发邮件了 |
[17:53] | Um… What did I… | 我写了什么… |
[17:55] | Don’t worry. It was from the real one. | 别担心 是真正的那个网友发的 |
[17:57] | Yeah. Apparently, he got stuck on a business trip. | 他说 上次他出差了 |
[18:00] | But thank you for being so nice. | 不过感谢你这么贴心 |
[18:03] | No problem. | 不用客气 |
[18:05] | Well, we-we rescheduled the date. | 我们重新安排了约会 |
[18:06] | – Cool. – Yeah. | -不错 -是啊 |
[18:07] | I just got to wire him some money | 我只要给他汇点钱 |
[18:08] | so that he can get back to America. | 让他回国就行了 |
[18:10] | Wait, stop. D-Don’t do that! | 什么 别 别那么做 |
[18:26] | Guess my dad’s not coming. | 看来我爸是不会来了 |
[18:30] | Hey, hey. I, uh, brought you | 我给你带了 |
[18:33] | a vintage bottle of champagne and some pencils so you can | 一瓶特酿香槟和一把铅笔 这样你就能 |
[18:35] | show me that trick you were talking about. | 给我展示一下你说的那个绝招了 |
[18:37] | Yes. | 好啊 |
[18:39] | How about after the recital? | 不如先听完演奏会吧 |
[18:41] | Well, we got to head to the hotel. | 我们得去酒店了 |
[18:43] | Traffic’s gonna be bad. I don’t want to miss the, uh, | 快要堵车了 我可不想错过 |
[18:46] | couples massage that I booked | 预定的情侣按摩 |
[18:47] | before our ten-course tasting menu. | 之后还有十道菜的饕餮盛宴呢 |
[18:50] | It’s PETA-friendly but barely. | 动保组织可有得嚎了 |
[18:52] | Oh. That sounds… | 这听起来 |
[18:54] | so good, but, you know, I wouldn’t mind | 很棒 不过我不介意 |
[18:58] | skipping the massage for Bronwen’s recital. | 为了布朗温的演奏会错过按摩 |
[19:00] | So why don’t we just go to the recital. | 所以我们还是去听吧 |
[19:02] | Then we’ll go to the hotel. | 然后我们再去酒店 |
[19:03] | I’ll be okay with only… | 光吃八道菜 |
[19:05] | eight courses for dinner. | 我也可以接受啦 |
[19:07] | Oh, I left her a pair of diamond earrings on her chair, | 没事 我在她椅子上放了一对钻石耳环 |
[19:09] | so she’s cool. She’s not gonna care. | 她没事的 她不介意的 |
[19:11] | Of course she’s gonna care. | 她当然介意了 |
[19:12] | Wait, how many carats were the earrings? | 等下 耳环上的钻石多少克拉 |
[19:13] | Uh, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. | 不不 别告诉我 我不想知道 |
[19:15] | – She wants you there. – Relax, there’s gonna be plenty of recitals. | -她希望你出席 -淡定 演奏会多得很 |
[19:18] | Yeah, but she’s been practicing like crazy for this recital. | 确实 但她为了这次一直在拼命练习 |
[19:21] | She thought you were gonna be there. | 她以为你会去的 |
[19:23] | And… I don’t want to be the reason that you’re not. | 我不想成为你不去听演奏会的原因 |
[19:25] | – You should be there. – Wow, I thought we had a connection, | -你该去的 -我以为我们很合适 |
[19:29] | but you’re starting to sound an awful lot like my, uh, ex-wife. | 不过你说话越来越像我前妻了 |
[19:32] | Is that…? That’s funny. Well, maybe she was right. | 这是… 有意思 也许她说得没错 |
[19:35] | You know, I teach here, | 我在这里教书 |
[19:36] | so I see a lot of duds, | 见的熊孩子不少 |
[19:38] | and Bronwen is not one of them. | 可布朗温跟他们不一样 |
[19:42] | Which is why… | 这也是为什么 |
[19:46] | I am not gonna go away with you this weekend. | 我这周末不能和你出去了 |
[19:51] | And, um… | 而且 |
[19:53] | and I’m not gonna date you either. | 我也不能和你约会了 |
[19:56] | And, frankly, you shouldn’t be dating anybody | 说实话 在你学会如何 |
[19:58] | until you figure out how to make Bronwen | 事事把布朗温放在第一位之前 |
[20:00] | your number one top priority | 不该跟任何人约会 |
[20:02] | because there’s nothing more important. | 因为她是最重要的 |
[20:05] | Roman, come get this stuff off of this… | 罗曼 把我的东西从这辆 |
[20:08] | American sports car. | 美国跑车上拿下来 |
[20:10] | Roman, don’t scratch it. | 罗曼 别把车刮花了 |
[20:23] | Just wanted to let you know I dumped your dad. | 就想跟你说一声 我把你爸给甩了 |
[20:25] | What? | 为什么 |
[20:25] | He’s not rich enough for me. | 对我来说他还不够富 |
[20:27] | He has way too much baggage, that baggage being you. | 而且他有拖油瓶 那就是你 |
[20:41] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
[20:42] | You guys, stop talking to me. | 别跟我聊了 |
[20:43] | You have a concert. | 准备演奏了 |
[20:45] | Go get ’em, girls. | 奋力一搏吧 姑娘们 |
[20:50] | That’s my girl playing the violin right there. | 那个拉小提琴的是我女儿 |
[20:53] | It’s a buyer’s market right now. | 现在是买方市场哦 |
[20:54] | Hey. What are you doing here? | 你在这里干什么 |
[20:56] | Looking for some rich dads to shake down? | 色诱有钱老爸吗 |
[20:58] | No, I’m just here supporting the students I love | 不 我是为了支持我爱的学生 |
[21:00] | and their artistic endeavors. | 以及她们为艺术的付出 |
[21:06] | They suck. I’m going out for a smoke. | 她们烂哭了 我出去抽根烟 |