| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:10] | [Ron Howard] Now the story of a wealthy family | |
| [00:12] | who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice | |
| [00:15] | but to keep them all together. | |
| [00:23] | It’s… | |
| [00:29] | [Ron] Michael Bluth was visiting the family business, | |
| [00:32] | hoping to find Lucille Austero, | |
| [00:34] | who was now a majority stakeholder, | |
| [00:37] | to thank the woman… | |
| [00:38] | -They closed the company. -…for forgiving his debt. | |
| [00:40] | -[man] Don’t mind me, I work downstairs. -Hi. | |
| [00:42] | Doing a little lunch looting. [laughs] | |
| [00:44] | -You? -It was my family’s company. | |
| [00:47] | I’m Michael Bluth. | |
| [00:48] | Hey. You guys put me in my first house. | |
| [00:51] | Oh, yeah, a lot of people’s first house was a Bluth. | |
| [00:54] | No, no, I was part of that Cornballer class action suit. | |
| [00:57] | -I see. -Yeah, | |
| [00:58] | I made enough to put a down payment on a Sitwell. | |
| [01:01] | Well, we’ve put a lot of people in Sitwells, too. | |
| [01:06] | [elevator bell dings] | |
| [01:09] | -Uh– oh, God, well, you caught us. -[grunts] | |
| [01:11] | Didn’t think anybody would be getting on while we were getting off. | |
| [01:14] | What did you do to the Bluth Company? | |
| [01:16] | You’ve been president two weeks. | |
| [01:18] | -Took us to the next level. -[man] An iPhone 5 charger! | |
| [01:20] | Fourth floor. | |
| [01:22] | [Ron] Even the landlord was surprised by the move. | |
| [01:25] | Not only would you have to pay | |
| [01:26] | a penalty to get out of your old lease, but the rent is double. | |
| [01:30] | Just to see the roof of a Rite Aid? | |
| [01:31] | [Ron] Which was the first that G.O.B. had heard of the view. | |
| [01:35] | I’ll take it. | |
| [01:37] | [Michael] Okay, okay. Okay. | |
| [01:39] | Ding. | |
| [01:41] | [G.O.B.] So? | |
| [01:42] | What do you think? [laughs] | |
| [01:44] | It used to be a 2 Hour Teeth, the whole place. | |
| [01:46] | [Michael] Yeah, I remember the screams. | |
| [01:48] | I guess it was the 90 Minute Tooth guys across the street | |
| [01:50] | that put the 2 Hour guys out of business. | |
| [01:53] | I did see that the old Blockbuster is becoming | |
| [01:55] | an “Hour Mouth,” so those guys gotta be shitting themselves. | |
| [01:58] | Why did you move the business? This is exactly the same. | |
| [02:01] | Says the guy who hasn’t seen the roof of the Rite Aid yet. | |
| [02:06] | Where’s the nitrous? | |
| [02:07] | This will not be used as the conference room? | |
| [02:10] | Uh, no. I had to kind of… I had to move it, | |
| [02:12] | just, uh, for a couple reasons, actually. | |
| [02:15] | A, I wanted a bigger office. -That feels like the heart of it. -Yeah, it is, | |
| [02:22] | -but, uh… Hey. -Sure. | |
| [02:23] | Check out that view. | |
| [02:24] | Boy, what’s a bike tire doing on the roof of the Rite Aid? Yeah, that’s the $14,000 a month question, isn’t it? | |
| [02:29] | When they said you were the president of the Bluth Company, | |
| [02:32] | I assumed it was in name only. | |
| [02:34] | That they hired you to actually work seems wrong. | |
| [02:37] | -Do you even know what a mortgage is? -[laughs] | |
| [02:39] | No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know anything. | |
| [02:42] | You do, though. | |
| [02:43] | You’re the smart Bluth, I can see it in your eyes. | |
| [02:45] | You read, don’t you? | |
| [02:47] | Adhir is a holdover from the Austero Company. | |
| [02:50] | He’s our compliant officer. | |
| [02:51] | Or as I like to call him, Chief Worrywart. | |
| [02:53] | -[makes chicken noise] -It’s “compliance officer.” | |
| [02:55] | Uh, hey, uh, so you worked for the Austero Company? | |
| [02:59] | Uh, they forgave a big debt of mine. | |
| [03:01] | How would I get ahold of Lucille Austero? | |
| [03:03] | [dramatic music plays] | |
| [03:08] | -No one knows, I’m afraid. -Okay. | |
| [03:11] | [G.O.B.] That’s it, go to your office, Adhir. | |
| [03:13] | He’s the chief compliant officer, so he has to do whatever I comply. | |
| [03:18] | -[grunts] -[Michael] I’m assuming that’s | |
| [03:20] | where the conference table went. | |
| [03:21] | [G.O.B.] It’s probably too big for that room, | |
| [03:23] | and I would get it out, but I can’t quite remember | |
| [03:26] | how I got it in there. | |
| [03:27] | Like you, I’m about to go underwater, but before I go, | |
| [03:30] | I’d like to give you some advice: you’re not good at this. | |
| [03:32] | Yeah. I know. But it’s important to Dad. | |
| [03:35] | Want to know the thanks I’m getting? | |
| [03:36] | Dad is giving a trophy to Lindsay, not me, | |
| [03:39] | for the family of the year ceremony tonight. | |
| [03:41] | Hm. Great, well, | |
| [03:42] | Dad didn’t get a trophy for doing what you’re doing, and he actually did it. | |
| [03:46] | [G.O.B.] Well, that’s not the worst way to make Dad love me. | |
| [03:49] | I will get a trophy for Dad, for… something. | |
| [03:54] | -Mm. -Figure that out later. | |
| [03:56] | Dad’s never gonna give you what you’re looking for. | |
| [03:58] | And, uh, maybe that’s how it should be. | |
| [04:00] | Maybe when sons grow up, they’re not supposed to be too close | |
| [04:02] | to their fathers. | |
| [04:03] | And maybe the best thing a father can do for his son | |
| [04:06] | is disappear for a while and let him figure out | |
| [04:09] | what kind of man he wants to be on his own. | |
| [04:11] | At least, that’s what I’ve tried to do. | |
| [04:14] | Then why did you move into your son’s dorm room? | |
| [04:17] | That was a year, okay? | |
| [04:19] | And not even a full year, because I got there at Thanksgiving. | |
| [04:23] | Okay, well, goodbye forever, G.O.B. | |
| [04:25] | I’ll be seeing you tonight. | |
| [04:27] | [Ron] Michael returned to the model home to get his scuba equipment. | |
| [04:32] | But before he left town, he thought he’d take | |
| [04:34] | one last look at his son’s childhood bedroom. | |
| [04:38] | Uh– George Michael? | |
| [04:41] | [imitating George Michael] Father. It’s me, George Michael. | |
| [04:44] | Think fast. | |
| [04:46] | Tobias. | |
| [04:47] | [in normal voice] Michael. Yes, well, this is embarrassing. | |
| [04:51] | Not only are you finding me in your son’s pants, | |
| [04:54] | but you’re also finding out how the sausage is made. [chuckles] | |
| [04:59] | I don’t understand a thing you said. | |
| [05:00] | Well, I was doing some character work for, um, | |
| [05:05] | uh… [grunting] | |
| [05:07] | I’m doing a little character work to prepare | |
| [05:09] | for the awards ceremony… | |
| [05:11] | How did… | |
| [05:12] | Why do they only have one…? [pants] | |
| [05:15] | Yes– oh! Uhp! | |
| [05:17] | -Okay, back… -You all right? | |
| [05:18] | -[sighs] -Oh! Um… | |
| [05:20] | There you go. | |
| [05:21] | -Just an acting exercise. -Sure. | |
| [05:23] | You’re supposed to be George Michael now? | |
| [05:24] | Oh, well, it’s a character role, really, and let’s face it. | |
| [05:28] | No one was buying me as a straight man. | |
| [05:30] | It was a little off-brand. | |
| [05:32] | I’m just trying to find | |
| [05:34] | my place in the Bluth family… | |
| [05:37] | [sighs] …now that, uh… | |
| [05:40] | Lucille’s almost done with me as her therapist | |
| [05:43] | and Lindsay has… what does Gwyneth Paltrow say? | |
| [05:45] | “Consciously un-cuckold” me. | |
| [05:47] | You want to stay a part of the Bluth family? | |
| [05:49] | I have a feeling… | |
| [05:51] | you do, too. | |
| [05:53] | Despite your claims of leaving. | |
| [05:55] | No, no, it’s not a claim. I’m leaving. | |
| [05:57] | You always seem to be. | |
| [05:59] | Well, I’m doing it. | |
| [06:00] | I’m gonna map the ocean floor. | |
| [06:03] | Michael, if I could… | |
| [06:04] | put my therapist leggings on for one second. | |
| [06:07] | -Just sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, -Yeah, sure. | |
| [06:09] | -sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. -Tobias, please. | |
| [06:13] | I would just say that | |
| [06:14] | you’re trying to run away from people before they have a chance | |
| [06:17] | to run away from you, because that’s what the people | |
| [06:19] | you love do. | |
| [06:21] | Isn’t it? | |
| [06:23] | What people? Your wife. | |
| [06:25] | -Uh… -Your son. | |
| [06:27] | Or should I say… | |
| [06:30] | [in a high-pitched voice] …me? | |
| [06:31] | Don’t. Uh, you know… | |
| [06:33] | -“Why’d Mommy leave, Daddy?” -Tobias… | |
| [06:35] | [in a higher pitch] “I didn’t leave. I loved you bo–” [coughs] | |
| [06:39] | I don’t think you want to go there, okay? | |
| [06:40] | Yes, yes, yes. I suppose I did… | |
| [06:43] | start too high. | |
| [06:44] | Okay, let’s bring everyone down an octave. | |
| [06:46] | -“Why did Mommy leave, Daddy?” -Tobias… | |
| [06:47] | -“I didn’t leave. I loved you both.” -Listen. | |
| [06:49] | Tobias, listen, I don’t want you playing my son. | |
| [06:51] | And I’m not confused at all about what happened to Tracey. | |
| [06:55] | Really? Because you certainly never talk about it. | |
| [06:58] | I was raising a son. Think I want to burden him | |
| [07:00] | with memories that are gonna make him feel worse? | |
| [07:02] | Please. What about Michael’s memories? | |
| [07:06] | Why can’t you go back to the last place you saw Tracey? Hmm? | |
| [07:10] | -The family beach cottage? -No, no, | |
| [07:13] | I was thinking more, uh, uh, | |
| [07:15] | -metaphorically. -Yeah. | |
| [07:16] | But that’s where we spent the last months of her life. | |
| [07:19] | And-and after she died, | |
| [07:21] | the family sold that house. | |
| [07:23] | It was one of the kindest things | |
| [07:25] | that-that they ever did for me. | |
| [07:27] | -Do you think that I should go there? -Uh, | |
| [07:29] | my number one rule is “don’t tell Michael… | |
| [07:33] | what to do.” Now, um, I will say, though, | |
| [07:35] | I wish I had known you’d had such depth | |
| [07:37] | before I gave your part away to a less experienced actor. | |
| [07:41] | I didn’t know there was such a thing. | |
| [07:43] | Get your stuff. We’re out of here. | |
| [07:45] | And where are we going, Father? | |
| [07:47] | Nowhere. I was just practicing the new skit. | |
| [07:49] | -[sighs] -Remember the line where he says, | |
| [07:50] | -“Get your stuff”? -I’m improv’ing, | |
| [07:52] | you over-intending schmactor. | |
| [07:54] | This is the simplest character in the entire family. | |
| [07:57] | He has one personality trait: | |
| [07:59] | he always comes back. | |
| [08:00] | Well, that and he always has his hands in his pockets. | |
| [08:03] | You got peanuts in there? | |
| [08:04] | Okay, why am I staying here for this? | |
| [08:07] | Why can’t I just be your son? | |
| [08:08] | Oh, there is no son anymore. He cut the part. | |
| [08:10] | And I can’t be your father. I’m not a straight man. | |
| [08:13] | [Ron] Why are we staying here for this? Anyway, Michael, | |
| [08:16] | in his haste to leave town, arrived at the dock | |
| [08:18] | for his ocean floor mapping expedition | |
| [08:21] | for what he was certain was a six-bells departure. | |
| [08:23] | No, we leave at 6:00 p.m. | |
| [08:25] | You telling me we’ve got a 14-bell delay? | |
| [08:28] | I don’t know, man. But we leave in seven hours. | |
| [08:30] | Yeah. Okay. | |
| [08:31] | [Ron] And he was encouraged to use the time | |
| [08:33] | to try out his undersea camera survey equipment. | |
| [08:36] | All right, let’s have it. Great. Look at that, huh? | |
| [08:39] | [Ron] And once in the water, Michael felt like he was | |
| [08:42] | finally able to let go of the past and forget about | |
| [08:45] | everything he was leaving behind. | |
| [08:49] | George Michael, meanwhile, felt no such peace. | |
| [08:53] | Although he was surprised that his evasive run-in with his father… | |
| [08:56] | There’s enough of these for this to be a thing? | |
| [08:59] | …was less dramatic | |
| [09:00] | than he recalled. | |
| [09:01] | And he sought out Maeby at what she’d said was her new place. | |
| [09:04] | -Hello. -Looking for a grandparent? | |
| [09:06] | No, thank you. I… No, I have enough. I’m, uh… | |
| [09:09] | I think I might be at the wrong address. | |
| [09:11] | I’m looking for someone who I cannot imagine meets | |
| [09:13] | -your residency requirements here. -[Maeby] Rose, he’s fine. | |
| [09:15] | It’s all right. He’s with me. | |
| [09:17] | [George Michael] This is where you’re living, a senior center? | |
| [09:19] | Yeah, just wait. Hey, Rose, do you mind? | |
| [09:21] | -[lock buzzes] -Thank you. [Maeby] I needed somewhere to lay low | |
| [09:24] | until the Perfecto thing blew over. | |
| [09:26] | [George Michael] But you said this place was incredible. | |
| [09:29] | -This is incredible! -[Maeby] Right? | |
| [09:31] | [George Michael] Why is the lobby so off-putting? | |
| [09:34] | [Maeby] That’s what the seniors do to keep the young people away. | |
| [09:36] | They don’t want “dot-commers” taking over. | |
| [09:39] | -Nice. Like you and me. -Exactly. | |
| [09:41] | [George Michael] How were you able to get in? | |
| [09:43] | [Maeby] When I came back from Mexico, | |
| [09:44] | I found a parking pass in Lucille 2’s Cadillac, right? | |
| [09:47] | And, apparently, she kept a place for these “trysts” | |
| [09:50] | with old lovers from years ago. | |
| [09:51] | Or they were co-owners or something. | |
| [09:53] | But they just kept it here, empty, | |
| [09:55] | until one of them needed it. | |
| [09:57] | So that was lucky. [chuckles] | |
| [09:59] | I just had to make myself look older, you know? | |
| [10:01] | Yeah, I would think that that’d be a great use of the gray wig. | |
| [10:04] | No, I went down that road. | |
| [10:06] | [Ron] But wasn’t expecting how upsetting it is | |
| [10:07] | to see one’s self grown old. | |
| [10:10] | The moment when a young woman realizes… | |
| [10:12] | [sighs] Oh, my God, I’ve become my father. | |
| [10:14] | [Tobias] ♪ In the most delicious way! ♪ | |
| [10:17] | Oh, so this is a choice. | |
| [10:18] | I didn’t want to say anything, | |
| [10:19] | but I was like, “Maeby looks like a 65-year-old.” | |
| [10:22] | -What if I told you I was 75? Hmm? -Holy shit. | |
| [10:26] | -You look fantastic. -Right? | |
| [10:27] | It’s the teeth. It’s the same guy who’s doing my meth teeth, | |
| [10:30] | you know, for the family of the year thing. | |
| [10:32] | Where I write a speech for my mom, she talks about how great I am, then… | |
| [10:35] | Then you open your mouth and you’re like, | |
| [10:37] | “So why do I have to turn tricks for meth money?” | |
| [10:39] | I don’t know how you keep all your scams straight. | |
| [10:41] | Well, this old lady one is a big, big score. | |
| [10:44] | I mean, when people catch on, they either forget or they die. | |
| [10:48] | [chuckles] And, I mean, this place is a dream. | |
| [10:51] | Nobody even locks their doors. | |
| [10:52] | Of course, what is there to steal? [chuckles] | |
| [10:55] | A few barstools and some family pictures? | |
| [10:57] | Anyway, that’s how I got those barstools and all these great pictures of grandkids. | |
| [11:02] | -What a beautiful family you’ve stolen. -Mm. | |
| [11:04] | What are you gonna do if Lucille 2 or the friend she owns this with shows up? | |
| [11:08] | He kind of already has. | |
| [11:10] | [Ron] Maeby had only been in the place for a week | |
| [11:12] | and had spent most of that time trying to trap a swan in her condo… | |
| [11:16] | What’s your problem? It’s tuna. | |
| [11:18] | …when she came across a stranger, | |
| [11:19] | whom longtime viewers will be mildly surprised | |
| [11:22] | -to recognize is Stan Sitwell. -Hello. | |
| [11:24] | -[Ron] But whom Maeby did not. -Hello. | |
| [11:26] | Do you live in one of these? | |
| [11:28] | -This one’s mine, yes. -Well, that’s strange. | |
| [11:30] | Do you realize this condo is listed as Lucille Austero’s? | |
| [11:33] | Yes. I am her. | |
| [11:36] | Sister. | |
| [11:37] | -I am her sister. -[swan honks] | |
| [11:39] | You’re going the wrong way. | |
| [11:41] | Annette? | |
| [11:42] | Great idea. Do you think they have one? | |
| [11:43] | Have what? | |
| [11:45] | Annette. Yes, that’s me. | |
| [11:47] | [chuckles] And you are? | |
| [11:49] | Stan. I must admit, I’m a little confused right now. | |
| [11:53] | Our agreement was that this place would revert back to me once Lucille… | |
| [11:57] | [dramatic music plays] | |
| [11:59] | [honking] | |
| [12:02] | …gave up her interest. | |
| [12:05] | Well, I don’t know anything about that. | |
| [12:07] | She signed it over to me. | |
| [12:09] | I’d like to see that paperwork. | |
| [12:12] | Yes. | |
| [12:14] | Well, I recently moved here from New Orleans, | |
| [12:16] | -and I… -[Ron] Maeby was proud of this lie. | |
| [12:20] | …lost all my personal paperwork in Hurricane Cantina. | |
| [12:24] | Ooh. That’s complicated. | |
| [12:27] | Yes. It is. | |
| [12:29] | Unless I’m expected to lose a home for the second time. | |
| [12:33] | Of course, I could just pack up my shorty shorts, | |
| [12:37] | my silky pajamas, my peekaboo bras, | |
| [12:39] | my ticklers, sex knobs, and lacy hoo-has | |
| [12:42] | and hit the road. | |
| [12:44] | I can’t ask you to do that. | |
| [12:46] | [George Michael] This place is yours? | |
| [12:47] | Not yet, but maybe I’ll kick him out sooner than later. | |
| [12:50] | Maybe I’ll kick him out once he gets off that goddamn chair. | |
| [12:54] | [George Michael] That’s him? | |
| [12:55] | -[Maeby] Yeah. -Why aren’t we whispering? | |
| [12:57] | Oh. He can’t hear a thing. | |
| [12:58] | -He’s got horrible aids. -[announcer on TV] Shoedini! | |
| [13:01] | The world’s first shoe horn… | |
| [13:03] | Oh, hearing aids. | |
| [13:04] | Yeah, yeah, here they call them aids. | |
| [13:06] | The other ones they call [whispers] aids. | |
| [13:08] | Don’t worry, if he asks who you are, I’ll just tell him you’re Tom Collins. | |
| [13:11] | He’s always asking for a Tom Collins. | |
| [13:13] | Believe me, I’m in over my head enough as it is being George Maharis. | |
| [13:16] | Which is what I wanted to talk to you about. | |
| [13:18] | So I told my Dad that I was still dating Rebel. | |
| [13:21] | What? Why’d you do that? | |
| [13:24] | You told me to do it. It was your idea. | |
| [13:25] | -Mm-mm. -I mean, I still haven’t even seen her | |
| [13:27] | -since I punched him. -No, no, no. | |
| [13:29] | I told you that your dad is still in love with Rebel. | |
| [13:33] | And that telling him you haven’t seen her would be more hurtful. | |
| [13:35] | You perverted that into a way to not hurt him. And then I had to turn down this scuba trip, which is also rude, | |
| [13:41] | and if he finds out he’s gonna say, | |
| [13:42] | “You lied to me, George Michael, and that’s worse.” | |
| [13:45] | You know he’s gonna say “and that’s worse.” | |
| [13:47] | You would’ve had to lie about scuba, ’cause you would’ve been scared. | |
| [13:50] | Why do you say I’m scared of scuba? I’m not. | |
| [13:53] | You passed out at the aquarium. | |
| [13:55] | They make you feel like you’re underwater with all these giant… | |
| [13:59] | -Dolphins? -I think that was some kind of smiling, | |
| [14:01] | kind of bemused baby shark. | |
| [14:04] | I don’t know, things are volatile | |
| [14:05] | with my dad right now. It feels very combustible. | |
| [14:07] | Feels like we’re on the edge of physical menace or something, | |
| [14:10] | which I’ve trained myself for, but has he been training, too? | |
| [14:14] | What was that in the hallway? | |
| [14:15] | Look. Here’s my advice. Okay? | |
| [14:17] | You go to Rebel’s, | |
| [14:19] | you take my bag of lacy ticklers, hoo-ha bras, dog toys, | |
| [14:21] | and sex knobs with you. | |
| [14:22] | And you act like you’re expecting a booty call, | |
| [14:25] | as the old people think the young people say. | |
| [14:27] | All right? You tell her, “I’m here for a quickie, | |
| [14:29] | and I’m out of here.” | |
| [14:30] | Mr. Brash. And she’ll drop you like a buttered cane. | |
| [14:34] | -Something old people say? -Yeah. I’m trying to get it going. | |
| [14:37] | -That’s cool. -[Ron] George Michael’s father | |
| [14:39] | had drifted farther south than he realized, | |
| [14:42] | despite swimming with a GPS system | |
| [14:44] | that cost roughly as much as Buster’s left thumb. | |
| [14:48] | And he soon found himself | |
| [14:50] | on a part of the beach he hadn’t been to in over 20 years. | |
| [14:53] | [panting] | |
| [14:56] | ♪ I’m coming home ♪ | |
| [14:59] | ♪ Home, home ♪ | |
| [15:02] | I love that house. | |
| [15:05] | Yeah. My family used to own it back in the ’80s. | |
| [15:07] | [woman] Too bad they sold it, it’s worth a fortune now. | |
| [15:10] | My wife died there. | |
| [15:11] | Ovarian cancer, actually. | |
| [15:13] | -[woman] He’s a liar. -And… | |
| [15:15] | He shouldn’t have said that. | |
| [15:17] | -[woman] Ignore the man. -Good to see you. | |
| [15:21] | [Ron] And Michael decided that perhaps Tobias was right. | |
| [15:25] | Perhaps he did need to look the grim truth | |
| [15:28] | of mortality… in the face. | |
| [15:33] | Oh shit, he found out. | |
| [15:40] | [Ron] Michael had just discovered | |
| [15:42] | his family never sold their family cottage. …lied to me, and that’s worse. | |
| [15:46] | I am stunned. I just– I literally said it would be so great | |
| [15:49] | if my family had kept the cottage. | |
| [15:51] | We did. | |
| [15:52] | I know. You shouldn’t have. | |
| [15:54] | Well, then either way, you’re unhappy. | |
| [15:56] | I mean, pick a lane. | |
| [15:58] | You pick… you pick a lane. | |
| [16:00] | What did you want us to do, Michael? | |
| [16:02] | It was a horrible time for the housing market. | |
| [16:05] | Were we supposed to lose our precious daughter-in-law | |
| [16:07] | and a couple hundred grand in the same year? | |
| [16:10] | -Why didn’t you just tell me? -Because we love you. | |
| [16:13] | -And nobody wanted your feelings hurt. -Mm. | |
| [16:16] | -That was rule one. -Rule one? | |
| [16:18] | [Lucille] It slipped down a little when we put in the new floors. | |
| [16:21] | And by that point, you were already dating | |
| [16:23] | and in love with that total re– | |
| [16:27] | that totally lovely Rita. | |
| [16:29] | Uh, she was a smart cookie, that one. | |
| [16:31] | Nice try, Mom. | |
| [16:33] | And we didn’t want to bring up those bad old memories. | |
| [16:36] | Besides, this place already has enough bad ones for me. | |
| [16:40] | My mother died here. | |
| [16:42] | G.O.B. was born here. | |
| [16:44] | And I’m sure you’ve heard, | |
| [16:45] | it was also your father’s [bleeps] pad. | |
| [16:47] | Only from the next room. | |
| [16:49] | Please believe me, if I could turn back time, | |
| [16:52] | -I never would’ve answered that door. -I know. | |
| [16:55] | Were you slightly worried | |
| [16:57] | that I might come out here one day, Mom? | |
| [17:00] | H-Honestly, I never thought you’d get past the guard gate. | |
| [17:03] | I could barely get past them when Tobias and I got here. | |
| [17:06] | Tobias. He’s the one that put coming out here | |
| [17:08] | -in my mind in the first place. -He what? | |
| [17:11] | -[Tobias] As a metaphor. -You’re out! | |
| [17:13] | But I’ve already pinked away my sideburns | |
| [17:15] | to play Buster at the family of the year ceremony tonight. | |
| [17:18] | And Buster’s already invited a date. | |
| [17:20] | [imitating Buster] Come out and meet your boyfriend, Lucille. | |
| [17:24] | -[indistinct chatter] -[Tobias clears throat] | |
| [17:26] | -Murph? -[muttering] | |
| [17:29] | Oh, I see you finally figured out how to use that contraption. | |
| [17:32] | I’m on the phone. | |
| [17:33] | -Just one second. -What? I’m talking on the phone. | |
| [17:35] | Who are you talking to? | |
| [17:37] | Didn’t you tell me I was supposed to be busting with my girlfriend? | |
| [17:39] | I said, you’re Buster’s girlfriend. | |
| [17:42] | Oh. Hang on. | |
| [17:44] | Wait. Wait. | |
| [17:45] | -Am I supposed– Am I your boyfriend? -No! | |
| [17:49] | You are– I’m– A girl. | |
| [17:52] | You’re a girl, Linds, uh, Murphy B– Lucille. | |
| [17:55] | -Is he supposed to be me? -Uh-uh-uh, Lucille Number 2. | |
| [17:58] | She’s quite the grande dame. | |
| [18:00] | It’s basically Michael without the peanut pockets. | |
| [18:03] | You know, you’re playing her like you played | |
| [18:06] | that stammering mess of a Buster, and it won’t do. | |
| [18:08] | Sometimes I don’t even think that you want to be an actor. | |
| [18:12] | Actually, sometimes, I think I want to be a dog doctor. Ow! | |
| [18:15] | [Tobias] This is the role of a lifetime. | |
| [18:17] | Now, I know 50 gentlemen | |
| [18:19] | who would tuck their last nut to play this part. | |
| [18:21] | Okay? Now, he saves it for the day. | |
| [18:24] | When you see him at the campaign event, you’ll think you’re looking at | |
| [18:27] | a 72-year-old pink mustachioed Lucille Austero. | |
| [18:32] | -We can’t have Lucille Austero! -We can’t have Lucille Austero. | |
| [18:35] | She’s running against Lindsay, for God’s sake. | |
| [18:37] | [Tobias] For God’s sake. | |
| [18:38] | I don’t even know why I’m having this conversation. | |
| [18:40] | You’re out! We don’t even need a Buster. | |
| [18:43] | Well, at least you’re being honest about that. | |
| [18:45] | So you admit you’ve got Buster. | |
| [18:47] | This again? Why would I hide Buster from you? | |
| [18:50] | You want me to think that he’s missing. | |
| [18:52] | You’re trying to teach me a lesson. You’re trying to get even | |
| [18:54] | because I’m trying to teach… | |
| [18:57] | I don’t know why you’re trying | |
| [18:58] | to teach me a lesson, so lesson not learned, Mother. | |
| [19:00] | Michael, did you do something | |
| [19:02] | for which we should be teaching you a lesson? | |
| [19:05] | -[banging] -[man] Mother! | |
| [19:10] | He’s here, isn’t he? | |
| [19:12] | Tell me he’s not in that bedroom, | |
| [19:13] | -not where Tracey… -Don’t go in there. | |
| [19:15] | …spent her last… [clicks tongue] | |
| [19:19] | Oh, someone told Michael. | |
| [19:20] | Does this mean we can start leaving towels on the floor? | |
| [19:23] | What are you doing? | |
| [19:24] | I’m making this into a trophy for Dad. | |
| [19:27] | I can’t wait to see the one you got yourself. | |
| [19:29] | Uh, yeah, Michael. [scoffs] Please. | |
| [19:31] | I’m the president or CEO or whatever of the Bluth Company. | |
| [19:33] | I control the company checkbook, so I don’t need | |
| [19:36] | false things to make me feel important. | |
| [19:38] | -Okay. -There’s no trophy for that. | |
| [19:41] | [Ron] Although he did visit | |
| [19:42] | -a trophy store earlier that day. -It’s a good time to be in this business. | |
| [19:46] | Everyone gets a trophy. | |
| [19:47] | I tell people to stay away from the business. | |
| [19:50] | It’s always been a lousy business, and these days | |
| [19:52] | -everybody shops online. -Everybody gets a trophy. | |
| [19:54] | A trophy, huh? Yeah. | |
| [19:56] | Well, that may be, but tell me this, | |
| [19:58] | how many people get a whole [bleeps] trophy store? | |
| [20:04] | Oh, yeah. | |
| [20:06] | You can’t be serious. | |
| [20:08] | So the guy was like, “Are you shitting me?” | |
| [20:10] | That’s usually the sign that you’ve made yourself a great deal. | |
| [20:12] | So, I told him, “I’m gonna need you to cobble together one last trophy, | |
| [20:17] | old trophy cobbler, | |
| [20:19] | for the family of the year ceremony tonight.” | |
| [20:21] | And I said, “I want you to find the biggest golden anchor you can find.” | |
| [20:26] | So they didn’t have one of those? | |
| [20:27] | No, he didn’t even have keys to the back room. Also, the heat doesn’t turn off. | |
| [20:31] | This took a couple hours, so once I give this to Dad, | |
| [20:33] | then I’ll have Joni Beard give me the deed to the trophy store. | |
| [20:36] | -Wait till you see it! -[spray paint can hisses] | |
| [20:40] | I’m not gonna be there. Oh, uh… | |
| [20:42] | let me ask you a question, and I want you to be honest with me. | |
| [20:45] | Are you doing something with Busty? | |
| [20:48] | [Ron] Michael was referring to his missing brother, Buster. | |
| [20:51] | But G.O.B., who hadn’t been with a woman since he’d gotten closer to this man… | |
| [20:55] | I was wondering what you were going to pop out of. | |
| [20:57] | -…I mean this one… -Vámonos. | |
| [20:59] | …thought that “Busty” was referring to this woman… | |
| [21:03] | Where’s the nitrous? | |
| [21:05] | …whom he really hadn’t done much fooling with at all. | |
| [21:07] | Which is why he answered… | |
| [21:10] | -eventually… –Yes. | |
| [21:15] | [Michael] Got my answer. | |
| [21:17] | You really don’t care about your children’s feelings, do you? | |
| [21:19] | Oh, you’re one to give parenting lessons. | |
| [21:21] | I hear I’m not the only one whose son has a nasty left hook. | |
| [21:25] | Hmm, yeah, well… | |
| [21:27] | You know, at least he did something | |
| [21:29] | that we have not been able to do. | |
| [21:30] | He stood up for himself when his father was wrong. | |
| [21:32] | In fact, it might be the thing | |
| [21:34] | that I’m most proud of him for. | |
| [21:36] | Hope he knows that. | |
| [21:37] | Uh, he definitely does not. | |
| [21:40] | -What’s that? -I just saw him– | |
| [21:42] | uh, heard him, rather– at the model home when I was on my way out. | |
| [21:45] | -George Michael’s at the model home? –Well, if it wasn’t him, | |
| [21:47] | it was somebody who certainly did | |
| [21:49] | a heck of a lot better impression of him than me. [laughs] | |
| [21:53] | -Well, that could be anyone. -Well, well… | |
| [21:58] | Goodbye forever. | |
| [21:59] | See you tonight. | |
| [22:00] | -See you tonight. -[Michael] See you tonight. | |
| [22:02] | [Ron] So, Michael changed and raced to the model home. | |
| [22:06] | But his hopes for an emotional | |
| [22:08] | -father-son reunion… -Hey. | |
| [22:09] | I’m sorry if things got, uh… Are you crying? Hey. | |
| [22:12] | …were ruined… | |
| [22:13] | -Hey. -[Michael] Oh. | |
| [22:14] | …by an emotional father-son reunion. | |
| [22:16] | Tonight’s the big night. | |
| [22:17] | Family of the year day. | |
| [22:19] | What are you doing in George Michael’s bed? | |
| [22:21] | Oh… just a little… | |
| [22:24] | [sniffles] …just a little weep and sleep, you know. | |
| [22:27] | -Uh-huh. -Yeah. | |
| [22:28] | Want to be the big man, so… | |
| [22:30] | Can’t do it at the office, obviously, and Lindsay’s at the penthouse, | |
| [22:33] | and I can’t go to the cot… | |
| [22:35] | Well, we don’t… We only… we only have the penthouse, | |
| [22:38] | -so I-I, uh, I came here. -Mmm. | |
| [22:40] | I know about the cottage. | |
| [22:41] | -I hated that rule. -Okay. | |
| [22:43] | -Michael? -Hmm. | |
| [22:45] | -I hated both rules. -Oh, yeah, the towels. | |
| [22:47] | Can I ask you a question? | |
| [22:48] | How’d you get past the guard gate? | |
| [22:50] | I came from the water. | |
| [22:52] | I knew it. I told her. I told her, “He’s gonna take us from the beach.” | |
| [22:56] | Well, I am glad. I am glad you did. | |
| [22:58] | Yeah, it’s just your mother and her rules. | |
| [23:01] | And I hated “no sand in the living room.” | |
| [23:04] | [voice breaking] Why have a beach house | |
| [23:05] | if every member of the family can’t enjoy it? | |
| [23:08] | You look like you’re not enjoying anything. | |
| [23:10] | -You all right? -Yeah. | |
| [23:12] | Your mom and I are… | |
| [23:13] | [clears throat] We’re not together. | |
| [23:15] | We’re not together in the… | |
| [23:17] | well, I guess in, uh, every meaning of that word. | |
| [23:19] | I assumed that, but, uh, why aren’t you enjoying that? | |
| [23:22] | Because your mom is being courted, Michael. | |
| [23:27] | Someone is fawning all over her. | |
| [23:29] | -I knew she had Buster. -No. | |
| [23:31] | -I knew it. -This one’s not Buster. | |
| [23:33] | I mean, I wish that guy was Buster. | |
| [23:35] | Him I could fight, you know? You see, | |
| [23:37] | this guy got past me. | |
| [23:39] | How can your mother do this to me? | |
| [23:41] | I knew I should’ve sold that property | |
| [23:44] | when Stacy died. | |
| [23:45] | Tracey. | |
| [23:47] | No, we would’ve lost a fortune | |
| [23:48] | if we sold when Tracey died. | |
| [23:51] | No, Stacy was the paralegal I used to bring out there | |
| [23:54] | who went into insulin shock | |
| [23:55] | at the very height of the market. | |
| [23:58] | Sad. | |
| [23:58] | How can she do this to me? | |
| [24:00] | -[crying] -Yeah. | |
| [24:01] | How can your mother do this? | |
| [24:03] | [Ron] Actually, she hadn’t done anything yet. | |
| [24:05] | But a few weeks earlier at the cottage… | |
| [24:08] | When my daughter wins this election, we’re going to be wall-to-wall wall. | |
| [24:12] | Zàijiàn. | |
| [24:13] | …a nuisance washed up on her beach. | |
| [24:16] | You know, I smashed my phone | |
| [24:18] | a couple years ago, too. With a hammer. | |
| [24:20] | Never missed it. | |
| [24:21] | Miss the hammer, but I guess that’s why | |
| [24:24] | God made rocks. | |
| [24:25] | But God made those rocks | |
| [24:26] | and put them in front of my cottage for me, | |
| [24:29] | so let’s just leave them there. | |
| [24:31] | I know the law pretty well, | |
| [24:32] | and I can pick up any rock I want. | |
| [24:34] | Well, what do you use those for, anyway, Sand Hippie? | |
| [24:38] | -Making a yoga garden? -No. | |
| [24:39] | I throw ’em at people that got no business | |
| [24:42] | being on this part of the beach. | |
| [24:44] | [Ron] He had done so for years… | |
| [24:45] | Van Halen was in town this weekend rocking audiences. | |
| [24:48] | But some beachgoers are getting rocked in a different way | |
| [24:51] | by a group calling themselves the Newport Bay Boys. | |
| [24:54] | [Ron] …in what started as a cool, rich kid surfer gang | |
| [24:57] | that had been possessive | |
| [24:58] | about Newport’s most beautiful cove… | |
| [25:01] | Nirvana was in town this weekend rocking audiences. | |
| [25:03] | But some beachgoers are getting rocked in a different way… | |
| [25:06] | [Ron] …and became a group | |
| [25:08] | of kind of hip, middle-aged surfer men | |
| [25:10] | defending their coastline. | |
| [25:12] | 50 Cent was in town this weekend rocking audiences, | |
| [25:15] | but some beachgoers are getting rocked in a different way. | |
| [25:18] | I think we’re good, guys. They’re gone. | |
| [25:21] | Yeah, they’re gone. | |
| [25:22] | I’m Dusty. | |
| [25:23] | [Lucille] That’s a nice way to say it. | |
| [25:25] | But let’s not make a habit of this, shall we? | |
| [25:27] | Now, take your bucket full of rocks | |
| [25:29] | and be gone. | |
| [25:30] | [Ron] But a habit of it he did make. | |
| [25:54] | Hey! | |
| [25:55] | Get off my beach, you stupid seagulls. | |
| [25:59] | Oh, hi. | |
| [26:01] | Care to join me for a glass of breakfast wine? | |
| [26:03] | [Ron] And before long, they were in the first stages | |
| [26:06] | of a beautiful | |
| [26:07] | early October-late November relationship. | |
| [26:12] | I mean, he’s attracted to her. | |
| [26:14] | He’s attracted to her. | |
| [26:16] | I’m sorry. Why would he be attracted to her if he’s blind? | |
| [26:19] | And how did he burn off his fingertips? | |
| [26:22] | I have no idea what you’re talking about. | |
| [26:24] | I may have added the fingertips. | |
| [26:26] | I assume if he’s blind, he’s gotta feel her face. | |
| [26:28] | But you said you never saw him touch her face? | |
| [26:30] | I never said he was blind. | |
| [26:31] | Look, I’m sure it’s nothing. It’s probably just | |
| [26:34] | some harmless one-way flirting. You know, or a Russian prank show. | |
| [26:36] | Maybe I deserve it, you know, | |
| [26:39] | ’cause I can’t, uh… | |
| [26:40] | I can’t deliver the goods. [sighs] | |
| [26:42] | I shouldn’t have lied to you, Michael. | |
| [26:44] | I’m not one to judge. | |
| [26:45] | You know, look, I just… I just told my son | |
| [26:48] | that I broke up with the woman that he’s seeing, | |
| [26:50] | and in retrospect, | |
| [26:51] | I don’t know, maybe she did not hear | |
| [26:53] | “I’m leaving” when I said, uh, “I ain’t going nowhere.” | |
| [26:57] | Sounds like a “goodbye forever” to me. | |
| [26:59] | Right? But if she tells my son, uh, what I said, | |
| [27:02] | you know what he’s gonna say. | |
| [27:04] | Uh, “You lied, and that’s worse.” | |
| [27:06] | Yeah, you know, they can’t wait to say stuff like that. | |
| [27:09] | Mm-hmm. Well, | |
| [27:11] | I gotta tell her that that’s the last she’s gonna see of me. | |
| [27:13] | Yeah. I mean, at least it won’t destroy her life | |
| [27:16] | like your mother did mine. | |
| [27:17] | Yep. You gonna be okay here? | |
| [27:20] | -I ain’t going nowhere. -Perfect. | |
| [27:25] | -[door closes] -[sobbing] |