| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:10] | [Ron Howard] Now the story of a wealthy family | |
| [00:12] | who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice | |
| [00:15] | but to keep them all together. | |
| [00:23] | It’s… | |
| [00:28] | Michael Bluth had just reunited with his family. | |
| [00:32] | Now that the original Michael’s back, I suppose we don’t need two hands-on-our-hips, pipe-up-our-rectum scolds. | |
| [00:38] | So you can go. | |
| [00:39] | Back to playing Tobias. Yes. | |
| [00:41] | Exactly, because I am still a valued family member. | |
| [00:45] | At least until both signatures are on the divorce papers, which were | |
| [00:49] | so cruelly served to me from the back seat of my car | |
| [00:51] | by someone who thought I was a Lyft driver. | |
| [00:54] | Could have been the pink mustache. | |
| [00:56] | Oh, how funny. | |
| [00:57] | Lucille thought it looked pink, too. | |
| [00:59] | [G.O.B.] That’s because everybody’s thinking | |
| [01:01] | about Tony Wonder’s beard. | |
| [01:03] | -It was pink, right? -[Tobias] I dyed it | |
| [01:05] | what I assumed was the color of Michael’s skin. | |
| [01:07] | Although now that you’re back, I do wish I had used | |
| [01:10] | a less permanent dye. | |
| [01:11] | I only remember the thing about Tony | |
| [01:13] | because of the “W,” and his beard was a “W,” | |
| [01:16] | which I thought, you know, for Wonder, was funny. | |
| [01:19] | You know, it tickled me. | |
| [01:20] | -His beard tickled me. -Yeah. | |
| [01:22] | [stammers] And is that part of what you look so confused about? | |
| [01:26] | It is on the list. | |
| [01:27] | I want to go back to why you’re all in here, though. | |
| [01:30] | Oh, we’re shooting footage for Lindsay. | |
| [01:32] | Campaign footage. | |
| [01:35] | -You’re running for office now? -[chuckles] | |
| [01:38] | As a matter of fact, I am. I want to be part of the problem. | |
| [01:40] | [Ron] Although, weeks earlier, | |
| [01:42] | Lindsay wasn’t eager to rejoin the family herself. | |
| [01:45] | So, how’s Mom? Is she mad at me? | |
| [01:47] | Mad at you? Why would she be mad at you? | |
| [01:50] | You didn’t hear? | |
| [01:51] | There may be some compromising pictures of me | |
| [01:56] | with the candidate Herbert Love. | |
| [01:58] | [scoffs] If she saw those, she’d never let me hear the end of it. | |
| [02:00] | Oh, listen, | |
| [02:02] | you’re intelligent and you’re wonderful and ethical | |
| [02:06] | and you’re great. I mean, don’t worry. | |
| [02:08] | She’s jealous. | |
| [02:10] | [Ron] Lindsay had never heard her father talk this way. | |
| [02:13] | -Jealous of me? -Mm. | |
| [02:17] | It’s probably just because I’m younger. | |
| [02:19] | A puta. | |
| [02:21] | You know, yes, she did mention that. | |
| [02:22] | Maybe it’s time to just, uh, change your ways. | |
| [02:25] | Start fresh. | |
| [02:26] | [Ron] And perhaps Lindsay would have gotten a little healthier… | |
| [02:30] | [phone ringing] | |
| [02:31] | …had the cell reception been a little worse. | |
| [02:34] | It’s Mom. | |
| [02:35] | [Lindsay] Mom. Hi. | |
| [02:37] | [Lucille] I need you to run for office. | |
| [02:39] | I told Herbert Love’s campaign that you’d be taking over. | |
| [02:42] | What? No. Mom, I can’t do that. | |
| [02:45] | It would mean going up against Lucille 2, and Sally Sitwell is running her campaign. | |
| [02:49] | Lucille 2 is not going to be a problem. | |
| [02:52] | And Sally hasn’t been seen since Cinco. | |
| [02:54] | [Ron] It was true. | |
| [02:56] | Sally had stolen a lot of money. | |
| [02:58] | If G.O.B. finds out you’re straight, he’ll use it to ruin you. | |
| [03:00] | I’ll lose the hundred grand I stole from Lucille Austero | |
| [03:03] | to rebrand you as the gay magician. | |
| [03:05] | [Ron] But when Sally found out | |
| [03:07] | Lucille Austero’s political opponent had been knocked out… | |
| [03:11] | she chose to get out of town | |
| [03:13] | before people started asking questions. | |
| [03:16] | -She packed light. -I’m wondering if someone could help me. | |
| [03:19] | -[Tony] Somebody say “Wonder”? -[Sally] Not wonder. | |
| [03:21] | -No one’s wondering! -[Ron] Just Tony. | |
| [03:23] | [Lucille] So, you’re unopposed… | |
| [03:25] | and I need you. [sighs] [Ron] It was the first time | |
| [03:28] | Lindsay’s mother had ever told her she needed her. | |
| [03:31] | You said it. | |
| [03:33] | -[line disconnects] -I said it! | |
| [03:35] | [Ron] Well, she read it. | |
| [03:37] | George Sr. and G.O.B. had also been in Mexico | |
| [03:40] | and were growing tired of their fruitless peacocking. | |
| [03:46] | I hate everything about my life, including you. | |
| [03:51] | Well, that’s not the horniest thing I’ve heard. | |
| [03:53] | Daddy not horny. | |
| [03:54] | Yeah, I guess these shirts | |
| [03:57] | kind of pumped up the pressure on that. | |
| [03:59] | [laughs] I don’t know what’s wrong with me. | |
| [04:03] | I feel like one of these bulls on my breasts. | |
| [04:06] | [chuckles] | |
| [04:07] | His whole life, he’s bred to be the strongest | |
| [04:09] | and the toughest and he’s got to have the biggest balls. | |
| [04:12] | Why? | |
| [04:14] | So when you’re in your prime, they can drug you | |
| [04:17] | and throw you out in front of a crowd of people | |
| [04:20] | who just want to see you die | |
| [04:22] | so some guy in crushed velvet pants can come out | |
| [04:25] | and just stick a sword in you. | |
| [04:29] | You’re a bull who wants to stick it in everybody, | |
| [04:31] | and everybody ends up sticking it in you. | |
| [04:35] | [Ron] And G.O.B. started opening up, too. | |
| [04:37] | I tried to buy those velvet pants. | |
| [04:40] | But I chickened out and got these shirts instead. | |
| [04:44] | I have a friend, this guy Tony… | |
| [04:47] | not a friend. | |
| [04:49] | He’s nice. | |
| [04:51] | He had a face like mine… | |
| [04:56] | but same. | |
| [04:57] | ♪ I started a joke ♪ | |
| [05:00] | Hello, darkness. | |
| [05:02] | -♪ Which started the whole world crying ♪ -Sorry, I’m taken. | |
| [05:06] | What’s that from? | |
| [05:07] | -[Ron] G.O.B.’s transformation… -[phone ringing] | |
| [05:10] | -…would also be interrupted. -It’s your mother. | |
| [05:13] | We’re going back to work. | |
| [05:15] | You’re going to be the new face of the company. | |
| [05:19] | [chuckles] That was Mom. She wants me back. | |
| [05:23] | My God. Must be nice to be wanted, | |
| [05:26] | even if it’s just your mom. | |
| [05:28] | Oh, cry me a blizzard, snowflake. I gotta run. | |
| [05:31] | You got this, right? [laughs] | |
| [05:32] | Look who’s horny now. | |
| [05:34] | [Ron] G.O.B. wasn’t the only family member | |
| [05:36] | on the verge of growing in Mexico. | |
| [05:40] | As you can see, the reward is simply in the giving. | |
| [05:42] | Most people, they cannot resist | |
| [05:44] | taking advantage of the truly vulnerable. | |
| [05:46] | [Ron] When she, too, received a call. | |
| [05:48] | -[phone rings] -Oh. | |
| [05:50] | -[Maeby] Mom? -No, it’s Lindsay. | |
| [05:52] | Uh, uh… [raspberries] Mom. Yes. To you. | |
| [05:55] | Of course I’m Mom. | |
| [05:57] | I’m running for Congress, | |
| [05:59] | and I don’t have a campaign manager and I need you. [sighs] | |
| [06:04] | [Ron] Maeby had never heard her mother this vulnerable. | |
| [06:07] | -Yeah. Sounds great. I’m in. -[sighs] | |
| [06:13] | Hey. It is hard to resist. | |
| [06:17] | Taking advantage of the vulnerable. | |
| [06:20] | -[Maeby] And I’m her campaign manager. -Is that Maeby? | |
| [06:23] | Oh, my gosh. I didn’t even recognize you. | |
| [06:25] | It’s a teenager thing. I could never pull that off. | |
| [06:28] | They want to look old, we want to look… | |
| [06:29] | You don’t look very young. [laughs] | |
| [06:31] | [all laughing] | |
| [06:35] | Oh, the laughter. That’s why we’re gonna get the award. | |
| [06:38] | No one’s taking it away from us! | |
| [06:40] | Let them try. | |
| [06:42] | The award? | |
| [06:43] | Oh, look at him, like he doesn’t know. | |
| [06:46] | -We’re going to win Family of the Year. -Family of the Month. | |
| [06:48] | Year?! Are you for… [yells] Mother [bleeps] Family | |
| [06:51] | -of the Mother [bleeps] Year! -Of the year. | |
| [06:53] | We just found out! | |
| [06:54] | -Wow. -We’re getting the Golden Anchor Award. | |
| [06:56] | Guess they think our family’s been an anchor | |
| [06:58] | of the O.C. community. | |
| [07:00] | Huh. Who is giving you this award? | |
| [07:01] | Check it, Mike. My anchor is giving us the award. | |
| [07:04] | See, she used to be an Orange County weather girl, | |
| [07:06] | which is just tits, teeth and ass, right? | |
| [07:09] | Now she’s the host of O.C. Can You Say, | |
| [07:11] | which is tits, teeth, public affairs, ass, | |
| [07:14] | some light interviews. | |
| [07:16] | I mean, it’s so much more responsibility! | |
| [07:18] | He’s making it sound more important than it really is. | |
| [07:20] | Is he? | |
| [07:21] | She was married to that news anchor who said such horrible things | |
| [07:25] | about me when I was trying to save Buster with that boat. | |
| [07:28] | -John Beard. -[G.O.B.] Yeah. | |
| [07:30] | She’s my Beard now. | |
| [07:33] | [Michael] What I meant was, what organization | |
| [07:34] | -is giving you the award? -[Lucille] Well, | |
| [07:36] | technically, it’s from the Bluth-Austero Company. | |
| [07:39] | Oh, I see. So you’re giving it to yourself. | |
| [07:41] | Well, it’s mostly from the Austero side. | |
| [07:44] | [Lindsay] Perfect timing for my campaign. | |
| [07:46] | [George Sr.] Our Lindsay. | |
| [07:47] | I’ve never been less ashamed of her. | |
| [07:50] | -[gasps] Did I say what I think I said? -[George Sr.] Yes, you did. [laughs] | |
| [07:53] | [laughing] | |
| [07:56] | Hey, man, look who’s joining in! | |
| [07:59] | Where is Lucille Austero? | |
| [08:01] | [dramatic music playing] | |
| [08:13] | No one knows. | |
| [08:15] | Oh. | |
| [08:16] | She flew the coop. In the middle of running for Congress. | |
| [08:21] | I mean, no one remembers seeing her since Cinco de Cuatro. | |
| [08:25] | And we didn’t want the crew in our house. | |
| [08:27] | No, and it was okay with Lucille 2. She gave us the key. | |
| [08:31] | It was during the 1992 African-American riots, | |
| [08:34] | and they had every right. | |
| [08:36] | -Every right. -[Lindsay] Every right. | |
| [08:38] | Mm. | |
| [08:40] | I find all of this… it’s just very hard to believe. | |
| [08:43] | [G.O.B.] Tell you what is hard beyond belief. | |
| [08:45] | My God, I wish you could get a feel on these two things | |
| [08:47] | that Joni’s got going over here. | |
| [08:49] | [laughs] They’re like two geodes! | |
| [08:51] | -Hmm. -[Joni] You can feel them. | |
| [08:52] | I can’t. My go-to joke | |
| [08:54] | is that these are the best two things John Beard’s money can buy. | |
| [08:57] | -[chuckles] -That’s a go-to. | |
| [08:59] | [Lucille] Now you’re back. You’ll bring George Michael. | |
| [09:01] | We’ll show the world what a great family we are. | |
| [09:03] | Oh, that’s good. Family is so important to me. | |
| [09:06] | -Sometimes my own family. -[Ron] Actually, | |
| [09:08] | Michael hadn’t spoken to his son in months | |
| [09:10] | and didn’t even know he had been in Mexico. | |
| [09:13] | Can we get four pretzels, two Cokes, and two Mexican Cokes? | |
| [09:16] | My friend, you’re in México. | |
| [09:18] | We have Coke and American Coke. | |
| [09:21] | I didn’t wish to offend. | |
| [09:22] | I’m sorry. I’m probably grumpy because I was out | |
| [09:25] | late last night, raping and murdering. | |
| [09:27] | Not cool. I wouldn’t joke about that. | |
| [09:29] | I rape and murder, and I joke. | |
| [09:33] | [Ron] And feeling unwelcome in this land | |
| [09:35] | that was still pretty welcoming, | |
| [09:37] | George Michael returned home, | |
| [09:41] | but wasn’t quite ready to deal with real life. | |
| [09:46] | And seeing his father had left town, | |
| [09:49] | and perhaps not ready to return to the responsibilities he’d left, | |
| [09:54] | he decided to ease back in, | |
| [09:56] | returning to his childhood home. | |
| [09:58] | Hello? Here to clean the windows! | |
| [10:02] | [Ron] And upon finding it empty, | |
| [10:04] | he soon began what can only be described as… | |
| [10:07] | [man] Total regression! | |
| [10:11] | [rock music playing] | |
| [10:16] | Dangerous Cousins! | |
| [10:18] | Oh, my God, Quicken. | |
| [10:22] | God, it’s so much smaller than I remember. | |
| [10:24] | [Ron] Perhaps it was a yearning | |
| [10:26] | to go back to a simpler, less complicated time. | |
| [10:29] | But there was no denying he was older and more mature. | |
| [10:35] | Not to mention, looking for love. | |
| [10:39] | [no audible dialogue] | |
| [10:48] | [splashing] | |
| [10:53] | [Ron] But aside from a few setbacks, | |
| [10:55] | George Michael was enjoying a break from responsibility. | |
| [10:58] | [George Michael] For scenario two, you just found out | |
| [11:01] | that your Darth Vader figure is dating your girlfriend, | |
| [11:03] | and you find out he knew she was your… Whatever. Who gives a shit? | |
| [11:07] | As usual, guys, just apply your own scenarios to these. | |
| [11:09] | [Ron] Soon he, too, was teaching a course in a program of his own creation. | |
| [11:14] | [George Michael] Go left. | |
| [11:15] | [Ron] He even inspired a certain move that would eventually appear | |
| [11:18] | two years later in a Han Solo origin picture. | |
| [11:24] | But the desire to return to a simpler time | |
| [11:27] | might explain why his heart raced | |
| [11:29] | when Maeby texted him a message. | |
| [11:32] | -[sizzles] -Shit. | |
| [11:40] | ♪ Honey to the bear, baby ♪ | |
| [11:43] | [Ron] George Michael gave more thought to a response | |
| [11:45] | than perhaps was necessary… | |
| [11:53] | ♪ Yes, I do ♪ | |
| [11:55] | ♪ Yes, I do ♪ | |
| [11:59] | …and wasn’t quite proud of his final selection. | |
| [12:02] | ♪ Like honey to the bear, baby ♪ | |
| [12:07] | There. That way… | |
| [12:10] | She can figure it out. | |
| [12:11] | [Ron] And he headed off to the penthouse, | |
| [12:15] | lost in an adolescent fantasy… | |
| [12:17] | -Hi… don’t like it. -…that he was soon shaken out of. | |
| [12:20] | What? My hair? | |
| [12:21] | No, no, I like it. I just, uh, | |
| [12:23] | don’t like that I’m just seeing it now. | |
| [12:25] | I guess I was picturing you at 16. [chuckles] | |
| [12:28] | But I-I don’t know why I… do that. | |
| [12:31] | -But why did you do that? -Well, truthfully… | |
| [12:34] | No, I’ll just tell you the truth: it’s a wig. | |
| [12:38] | Now that I’m working for my mom’s campaign, | |
| [12:40] | I thought a gray-haired daughter | |
| [12:41] | would add some years to her, but, turns out, nope. | |
| [12:44] | She thinks it’s a cool new thing and it makes her look hip. | |
| [12:46] | Everything I’ve given her | |
| [12:48] | to do or say has only made her go up in the polls. | |
| [12:51] | It’s like the more offensive it is, | |
| [12:53] | -the more people get behind her. -[Ron] It was true. | |
| [12:55] | Remember, just stick to the words. Okay? | |
| [12:58] | [Ron] She had her mother mock a reporter | |
| [13:00] | -who had a speech problem… -This so-called reporter | |
| [13:03] | from the Wee Guardian says I was right. | |
| [13:04] | Now, suddenly, she’s… | |
| [13:06] | [in English accent] “Perhaps I’ve recalled incorrectly. | |
| [13:08] | -I’m positively knackered.” -[cheering, laughing] | |
| [13:10] | The candidate made no fans in Wee Britain, | |
| [13:13] | but on the other side of the Anaheim pond, | |
| [13:15] | the comment only made her more popular. | |
| [13:17] | [Ron] …and release a hot mic tape. | |
| [13:19] | …after the damning hot mic piece surfaced. | |
| [13:21] | [Ron] Although, remember, this was in 2015, | |
| [13:24] | and many of the offensive comments | |
| [13:27] | almost seem quaint by today’s standards. | |
| [13:29] | -Did you get that? -Oh, yeah. | |
| [13:31] | Okay. | |
| [13:33] | While shocking, the video seems to have only given her | |
| [13:36] | a big rise in the polls. | |
| [13:38] | It certainly had that effect on me. -[man] Not necessary! -[anchor] Don’t sack me. | |
| [13:41] | [Maeby] She keeps polling higher. | |
| [13:43] | What am I doing right? | |
| [13:44] | Well, it probably doesn’t help that, except for you, she’s running unopposed. | |
| [13:48] | Yeah. That’s why I came up with the idea for us to kiss. | |
| [13:52] | So the kissing is part of a plan? | |
| [13:54] | Yeah. I thought we could do it when the whole family | |
| [13:56] | is on camera getting the Family of the Year Award. | |
| [13:59] | Family of the Year Award? Who’d give us that? | |
| [14:01] | -We’re giving it to ourselves. -Right. | |
| [14:04] | Still doesn’t seem like we’d get the votes. | |
| [14:06] | So when my mom’s giving the speech, | |
| [14:07] | we’ll be in the background, and we’re just going at it. | |
| [14:10] | [laughs] And I’m like, | |
| [14:11] | “Why have I never thought of that before?” | |
| [14:14] | Kind of feels like you have. | |
| [14:16] | To me, it seems like what you really want | |
| [14:18] | is for your mother to see you for who you are. | |
| [14:20] | Why don’t you write a speech for her to say about you, | |
| [14:23] | about how lovely and smart you are, | |
| [14:26] | how you’ve blossomed as a young woman | |
| [14:28] | into this incredibly beautiful and special person | |
| [14:31] | that anyone would be lucky to get to share their life with. | |
| [14:34] | I think I see where you’re going with this. | |
| [14:36] | An incredibly attractive, | |
| [14:38] | incredibly rare and precious gem. | |
| [14:42] | And then, I open my mouth, | |
| [14:44] | and I have these rotted out meth teeth. | |
| [14:46] | And I’m like, “Then why do I gotta [bleeps] my cousin | |
| [14:49] | for some meth money, Mom?” You know, or something like that. | |
| [14:51] | -I feel like we’re circling it. -Yeah. | |
| [14:54] | I don’t know, maybe that’s just a shade | |
| [14:56] | unnecessarily cruel. | |
| [14:59] | Well, at least I didn’t punch her in the face. | |
| [15:01] | Ah, I still feel so weird. I haven’t even seen my dad since that day. | |
| [15:04] | Yeah. He seems fine. | |
| [15:07] | -Oh, you’ve seen him? -Yeah. He’s across the hall. | |
| [15:10] | -Wait, who is? -Everyone. | |
| [15:12] | -Your dad, my mom, the whole family. -My dad’s across the hall? | |
| [15:15] | [Ron] Where Michael’s father currently had | |
| [15:17] | his own son in a panic. | |
| [15:19] | -No, I’m fine. -Yeah? | |
| [15:20] | I’m fine. It’s just, uh, I like, you know… | |
| [15:22] | I just like the feeling of, uh… | |
| [15:24] | [exhales] …feeling something. | |
| [15:26] | It’s just nice to have some control over one’s life. | |
| [15:29] | But your mother is a wonderful person! | |
| [15:32] | I’ve screamed the same thing many times I was worried she was in earshot. | |
| [15:36] | You sure you two are okay? | |
| [15:38] | I mean, the last I heard, you two were getting a divorce, | |
| [15:40] | and now it seems like everything’s just… | |
| [15:42] | -Forgotten? -[Michael] Yeah. | |
| [15:43] | [Lucille] You know our family motto. | |
| [15:45] | We forget, but we never forgive. | |
| [15:48] | I remember the framed needlepoint. | |
| [15:50] | You’ll see. In life, you don’t want to carry that much hate. | |
| [15:54] | [Michael] Although, by not forgiving, | |
| [15:55] | you’re throwing everything out and just keeping the hate. | |
| [15:58] | Well, how do you think she keeps that figure? | |
| [16:01] | No. Okay, I’m going for a feeling. | |
| [16:03] | -Let’s get inside. -I’m fine. | |
| [16:04] | -That’s enough air. -I’m fine. Hey! | |
| [16:06] | What’s that trophy gonna look like, huh? | |
| [16:08] | Oh! Everyone gets a trophy, huh, Pop? | |
| [16:11] | -Well… -When I was a kid, | |
| [16:12] | you said, “You want a trophy? Try harder, G.O.B.” | |
| [16:15] | Huh. Well, maybe I… | |
| [16:17] | -did something right, huh? -But I was like, | |
| [16:19] | “But you gave one to everybody else. | |
| [16:21] | What happened to everybody gets a trophy?” There was that then. It was getting started, but… | |
| [16:25] | Meanwhile, the guy who could’ve tried harder | |
| [16:28] | is now giving it to the not super young, obviously, | |
| [16:31] | but still fairly well known local TV host whose breasts– | |
| [16:35] | and you’re gonna be surprised to hear this coming from me– | |
| [16:37] | may be a little bit too hard. [laughs] | |
| [16:39] | High class problem, huh, Mike? | |
| [16:41] | I wish you could get a feel next time, Mike. There is something not right with those. | |
| [16:45] | Yeah, well, I’m in town such a short time, | |
| [16:48] | -so next time. -Well… [laughs] | |
| [16:49] | One less trophy, huh, Mom? | |
| [16:51] | There’s one trophy: The Golden Anchor, | |
| [16:53] | and Lindsay gets it. | |
| [16:55] | Wait, what? For Family of the Year?! No! | |
| [16:58] | We need her to be the center of this. | |
| [17:00] | She’s the one running for office. | |
| [17:01] | What about Dad? You’re the head of the family. | |
| [17:03] | You’re the alpha. Or me, for that matter. | |
| [17:06] | I am the CEO. Mom said. | |
| [17:08] | Fine, I’ll get trophies for everyone. | |
| [17:10] | [scoffs] Everyone gets a trophy. | |
| [17:12] | [chuckles] Count me out. | |
| [17:14] | -Fine. Everyone but G.O.B. -No! | |
| [17:18] | [Maeby] You sure I didn’t mention that in the text? | |
| [17:19] | Yeah. I read that thing down. -Hmm. -Should I go say hi to him? | |
| [17:22] | I haven’t seen my Darth since I hit him. | |
| [17:24] | What if he asks me about Rebel? | |
| [17:26] | That’s the love of his life, that he gave up for me, | |
| [17:28] | and I haven’t even called her once. | |
| [17:30] | Just tell him that. | |
| [17:32] | -The truth, huh? -Yeah. | |
| [17:34] | Sometimes, the truth can hurt a man | |
| [17:35] | more than the most brutally fashioned lie. | |
| [17:39] | I should get out of here. | |
| [17:40] | [Michael] Is anyone else noticing | |
| [17:42] | that the family isn’t quite, uh, as we remember them? | |
| [17:46] | -In what way? -That is not Buster. | |
| [17:50] | Oh, I’m in. | |
| [17:52] | [sighs] [imitating Michael] Uh, Buster, | |
| [17:54] | oh, um, it’s about time you got here, um, to the penthouse. | |
| [17:58] | Did the skit start? I don’t have the hook thing. | |
| [18:00] | -[Michael] Hey, what’s happening? -Shh! | |
| [18:03] | Can I just do this with my hand instead, Tobias? | |
| [18:06] | [in normal voice] Michael. I’m Michael. | |
| [18:08] | Just stay in it, Murphy– uh, Buster, stay in… | |
| [18:11] | He did a fantastic job as Buster | |
| [18:13] | in the campaign interviews, so I will get him there, | |
| [18:17] | uh, for the awards ceremony, I will. | |
| [18:18] | [stammering] He’s a young actor. | |
| [18:20] | I don’t really want to be an actor. | |
| [18:22] | -It’s not what I want to do. -[imitating Michael] Oh, and, uh, | |
| [18:24] | who’s making you be an actor, Buster? | |
| [18:27] | He’s talking to you… | |
| [18:28] | [in normal voice] Shut up, Lindsay! [stammers] Li– your sister. | |
| [18:31] | Your sis… Lindsay– sister. | |
| [18:33] | [imitating Michael] Who’s making you be an actor? | |
| [18:35] | -My father? -What? | |
| [18:37] | Who? Him? | |
| [18:38] | How could you do this to our son? | |
| [18:40] | His son. Your son. I– [in normal voice] Okay. | |
| [18:42] | I have to pull myself out of this part. | |
| [18:44] | [chuckles] I’m going in and out of Michael like a cuckoo clock bird. | |
| [18:47] | Okay, so, I’m Michael, uh, G.O.B. is G.O.B., | |
| [18:51] | Michael is no one. | |
| [18:52] | And opening night energy, Places and re… | |
| [18:54] | -Peas and carrots. Red leather… -[George Sr.] Tobias! Hey, hey! | |
| [18:57] | -We do not need a Buster, okay? -That’s right! Michael has him. | |
| [19:01] | [imitating Michael] Indeed, and here he comes. | |
| [19:04] | -Has who? | -Has who? |
| [19:05] | [Lucille] Buster. | |
| [19:06] | Y-You said you’d look after him. | |
| [19:09] | -That’s the first I’m hearing about it. -We’ve heard about it. | |
| [19:11] | Michael, why are you lying about not having Buster with you? | |
| [19:14] | -Oh, no, I’m not lying about anything. -[Ron] Well, he kind of was. | |
| [19:17] | As months earlier, he had laid out a scheme | |
| [19:20] | to make it seem like Buster was a missing person. | |
| [19:23] | So, we gotta wait about 48 hours before we declare you missing. | |
| [19:26] | -Then they put out an APB. -[Ron] At which point, | |
| [19:28] | Buster was to go to the police station and say… | |
| [19:31] | “You were looking for me. Here I am.” | |
| [19:32] | Let them race back into town and save everyone for a change. | |
| [19:35] | In fact, I keep forgetting to ask, uh, what was it | |
| [19:38] | that brought everyone back together in town this time? | |
| [19:41] | Well, Lucille 2 was missing, | |
| [19:44] | and we had an obligation to look after the company. | |
| [19:46] | -So, it’s not because of Buster. -[mumbling] | |
| [19:49] | -I see. Listen, I don’t… -Yeah. [mumbling] | |
| [19:51] | [Ron] What Michael didn’t know was that while the police | |
| [19:53] | had gotten ahold of Buster… | |
| [19:55] | You think that’s me? | |
| [19:56] | …they were more concerned | |
| [19:58] | with a different missing person. | |
| [19:59] | I mean, that guy obviously has a giant rubber hand, | |
| [20:02] | and I have a giant melted hand that smells like Bounce. | |
| [20:06] | [giggles] | |
| [20:07] | [Buster over laptop] I’m in the movie. | |
| [20:08] | Okay, that’s definitely me. | |
| [20:10] | I’m just surprised to see it, since I’m pretty sure I erased that video. | |
| [20:15] | You sure you don’t want an attorney? | |
| [20:17] | No. Michael was very clear about that. | |
| [20:20] | -I’m just a missing person. -Not anymore. | |
| [20:23] | [officer] We don’t need a bad cop. Go home. | |
| [20:25] | -See your kid. -Thanks, Rick. | |
| [20:27] | That’s why you’re the good cop. | |
| [20:28] | I don’t know what lesson you’re trying to teach me, but you’re back. | |
| [20:31] | You’re probably hiding Buster. I mean, who knows? It’s just… | |
| [20:34] | Not my problem anymore, in any event, okay? | |
| [20:36] | I got my own son to worry about. | |
| [20:37] | I am, uh, I’m leaving. Goodbye. | |
| [20:39] | -Bye. -I will not be back this time. | |
| [20:41] | It’s all about my son. | |
| [20:42] | That was so helpful, thank you. If you could… | |
| [20:46] | -Get your stuff. Let’s get out of here. -Dad. | |
| [20:50] | -Hey. [chuckles] -Oh! | |
| [20:53] | Hey. Hey, son. | |
| [20:55] | Oh, my goodness, look who it is. | |
| [20:58] | I was just gonna call you. [clicks tongue] This is, uh… | |
| [21:01] | -Back in town or…? -Are you, um… | |
| [21:03] | Briefly. You going to the family thing that we’re… | |
| [21:06] | -Giving to ourselves? No. -Huh? Yeah. | |
| [21:07] | -I, uh, can’t make it. -Yeah? No? | |
| [21:09] | -Should I tell them? -Well, you know, listen, | |
| [21:11] | I-I wasn’t gonna go, so don’t-don’t not go, | |
| [21:14] | because I’m… you know. | |
| [21:15] | -You’re the reason I would go. -Oh, yeah? | |
| [21:16] | -I just have some plans, so I can’t. Yeah. -Sweet. | |
| [21:19] | You got plans, huh? Well, we make plans, and God laughs. | |
| [21:22] | -That’s right. -Right? | |
| [21:23] | -No, I always want to make plans, but… -Hmm. | |
| [21:26] | You don’t want to be laughed at. | |
| [21:27] | Tell me. Yeah. Well, I won’t laugh. | |
| [21:30] | Do you have plans with Rebel? | |
| [21:32] | -Uh, yeah, I do, yeah. I do. Yeah, no. -Good for you guys. | |
| [21:34] | It’s-it’s fun stuff, yeah. | |
| [21:36] | Stuff I think, even if you weren’t God, you’d find funny. | |
| [21:39] | You can’t ask for more than that. | |
| [21:41] | But that’s none of my business, yeah? | |
| [21:44] | Only reason I ask, ’cause I’m going on a scuba trip. | |
| [21:47] | Um, yeah, came back in town to get my gear. | |
| [21:50] | Only reason I’m here, um, you know. | |
| [21:51] | It’s a last-minute thing. Several weeks at sea. | |
| [21:53] | -You’d hate it. So, yes. -Yeah, not my thing. | |
| [21:55] | -I shouldn’t have even asked you. -Oh, did you ask? | |
| [21:58] | Ah… I don’t want to inter… You shouldn’t cancel your plans with Rebel, you know. | |
| [22:02] | -Rain check. -Uh, it’s tomorrow or…? | |
| [22:04] | -Hmm? We leave today, so, yeah. -Ah. | |
| [22:06] | [chuckles] God’s probably– | |
| [22:08] | -I can almost hear him laughing, you know? -Wow, yeah. | |
| [22:10] | Although, maybe, I imagine, it doesn’t make him laugh anymore. | |
| [22:13] | I mean, so much of life is, uh, plans. | |
| [22:15] | It would just be the same joke over and over. | |
| [22:17] | So he’s… | |
| [22:19] | -It’s not funny anymore. -What’s he laughing at? | |
| [22:21] | Hey. | |
| [22:23] | You happy? | |
| [22:25] | Oh, man. | |
| [22:28] | You know, in truth, it’s, uh, | |
| [22:29] | it’s-it’s been a while since I’ve seen… | |
| [22:33] | -you, first of all, but, um… -Yep. | |
| [22:36] | The thing with, um… | |
| [22:37] | So, Rebel, you know, ’cause she… | |
| [22:39] | I wanted to say, between the two of you, you know, | |
| [22:42] | if you ever felt like… Because, like, she’s indicated | |
| [22:45] | that things were… I don’t know what she said, | |
| [22:47] | but maybe things were not quite wrapped up completely with… | |
| [22:51] | -Between me and her? -Yeah. | |
| [22:54] | She said that I left things unfinished? Hang on. | |
| [22:57] | That’s got me, that’s got me spinning out, ’cause, uh… | |
| [23:01] | That could be how she talks. You know how she is. | |
| [23:03] | No, I-I think I was-was pretty clear that I… | |
| [23:07] | You know, I broke up with her. | |
| [23:08] | You know, I show up there, I got a cactus, for God’s sakes, | |
| [23:12] | you know, which is… | |
| [23:13] | that’s the universal sign for “things are over.” | |
| [23:15] | No, she must have just thought that you would also, um… | |
| [23:20] | Say it. | |
| [23:21] | Yeah. Say it. | |
| [23:23] | Oh. Yeah, I did. I said lots of things. | |
| [23:26] | I’m standing there, you had just left. | |
| [23:29] | -[Michael] Ciao. -[George Michael] Bella. | |
| [23:31] | [Ron] When Michael ran into Rebel | |
| [23:32] | -leaving her apartment… -That’s for me. | |
| [23:34] | …but she had some bad news. | |
| [23:36] | It’s not gonna work out between us. I just wanted to tell you in person. | |
| [23:40] | [Ron] Michael didn’t know why he said the next thing out of his mouth. | |
| [23:43] | Maybe it was relief that he didn’t have to break up with her, | |
| [23:46] | but for some reason, he came up with… | |
| [23:49] | Well, if you ever change your mind, I ain’t going nowhere. | |
| [23:54] | Uh, I was afraid that maybe I was too hard on her, verbally. You know? | |
| [23:59] | And then, I, you know… | |
| [24:00] | Plus I had to leave for a couple of months for work. | |
| [24:03] | -Movie stuff? -Hmm? | |
| [24:06] | Mexico. | |
| [24:07] | Hope she’s not getting a signal from you that you are not | |
| [24:11] | fully into her because you’re worried | |
| [24:13] | that maybe I’ve got some unfinished business, | |
| [24:15] | -so you’re holding back? -No. No, I’m all in. | |
| [24:17] | [Ron] Actually, the only contact George Michael had had | |
| [24:20] | with Rebel was watching one of her movies, | |
| [24:23] | with a Shane and three Noahs. | |
| [24:25] | [Rebel] And you can say goodbye to these! | |
| [24:28] | Maybe I do miss her. | |
| [24:30] | No, I told her. You know, I even said, “Y’all are it for me.” | |
| [24:33] | -You know. -Go a step further and say, | |
| [24:35] | -“Y’all ain’t going nowhere.” -She’s it. I don’t know | |
| [24:37] | why she wouldn’t think I was… wasn’t going nowhere. | |
| [24:40] | Pa. | |
| [24:41] | [elevator bell dings] | |
| [24:43] | Oh, that’s me. Um, good. All right, well, are you going down or…? | |
| [24:47] | -No. I forgot my bag. -Well, it’s good to see– | |
| [24:50] | [both grunting] | |
| [24:57] | -Ciao. -Bella. | |
| [25:05] | That’s it, I’m out of here! | |
| [25:08] | -[Ron] Michael returns for his bag. -[all cheering] | |
| [25:11] | Okay, I get it. Is that supposed to be me? | |
| [25:13] | No, that’s my impression of Tobias doing you. | |
| [25:15] | Wait, what? But that… | |
| [25:18] | Oh, that’s it. I am out of here. | |
| [25:25] | Tobias doing Tobias. Yep? | |
| [25:29] | I don’t care. I’m… | |
| [25:31] | All right. | |
| [25:33] | [Ron] And Buster wonders why Michael isn’t doing Michael. | |
| [25:38] | Why hasn’t Michael come back? | |
| [25:40] | What happened to “Michael always comes back”? | |
| [25:43] | [gulps, groans] | |
| [25:46] | Oh, God. Oh, God. |