| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Thanks to Anna-Kat selling the most cookies | 感谢安娜凯特卖出了最多的饼干 |
| [00:04] | and winning this trip, | 赢得了这次旅行的机会 |
| [00:05] | tomorrow, we’ll be eating breakfast in Hollywood, California. | 明天我们将在加州好莱坞吃早餐 |
| [00:07] | It’s our first real vacation. | 这是我们全家第一次真正的度假 |
| [00:08] | It’s gonna be awesome. | 一定会赞到爆的 |
| [00:09] | Sunshine, beaches, celebrity sightings, no laundry. | 阳光 沙滩 名人签名 不用洗衣服 |
| [00:12] | If you run out of underwear, you ride dirty. | 如果没内裤换了 就继续穿脏的吧 |
| [00:14] | This vacation is gonna be so much better | 这次度假肯定比我们平常 |
| [00:16] | than our usual trip to colonial Crapsburg. | 去殖民时期的”屎堡”要好玩得多 |
| [00:19] | And Valley Forge! | 以及福吉谷 |
| [00:20] | Don’t forget, you guys hated that, too. | 别忘了 你们也讨厌那地方 |
| [00:22] | And while we’re in California, | 我们在加州时 |
| [00:23] | we’re gonna be celebrating your birthday — the big 4-0. | 刚好可以庆祝下你的生日 40岁大寿 |
| [00:25] | We’re not gonna make a big deal about my birthday. | 别把我的生日搞得很夸张 |
| [00:27] | It’s a day like any other day, | 那个日子就跟其他日子一样 |
| [00:28] | so I don’t want to be treated any differently. | 所以我不希望享受任何特殊待遇 |
| [00:30] | – You hear me? – I hear you. | -你听到了吗 -我听到了 |
| [00:31] | No special treatment. | 不要特殊待遇 |
| [00:32] | Now go help the kids finish packing. | 去帮孩子们收拾行李吧 |
| [00:34] | I’m gonna go meet Doris and Angela. | 我去跟多瑞丝和安吉拉见个面 |
| [00:35] | You’re going out now? | 你现在要出门吗 |
| [00:36] | There’s still so much to do before we leave. | 我们出发前 还有好多事要做呢 |
| [00:38] | How can you give me a hard time about this? | 你怎么能为这种小事批评我呢 |
| [00:41] | It’s my birthday. | 这可是我的生日啊 |
| [00:51] | Did you remember to pack everything? | 你记得把东西都带齐了吗 |
| [00:52] | Swimsuits? Toiletries? Hats? | 泳衣 化妆用品 帽子 |
| [00:54] | Nope, nope, and nope. | 没有 没有 都没有 |
| [00:55] | Then what have you got in here? | 那你箱子里都装了些什么 |
| [00:59] | “The Big Finish: Rich, Famous, and How They Died.” | 《盛大终结:有钱有名之人的死亡方式》 |
| [01:03] | I want to go to the Hollywood Walk of Fame | 我想去好莱坞星光大道 |
| [01:05] | and find all the celebrities that died horrible deaths. | 搞清楚以可怕的方式死亡的名人 |
| [01:07] | Murder, drugs, the occasional yacht mishap. | 比如谋杀 吸毒 以及偶尔的游艇事故 |
| [01:11] | Hollywood, baby. | 好莱坞啊 宝贝 |
| [01:12] | Taylor, could you come in here? | 泰勒 你能进来下吗 |
| [01:15] | Please help your sister pack. | 来帮你妹妹收拾行李吧 |
| [01:17] | Why do I always have to take care of her? | 为什么我总是得照顾她 |
| [01:18] | Because the older sister takes care of the younger sister. | 因为大姐就该照顾小妹 |
| [01:21] | It’s been that way for hundreds of years. | 数百年来都是这样 |
| [01:22] | You know, back in colonial days, the eldest — | 在殖民主义时期 长子长女… |
| [01:24] | Oh, my God. Enough! I’ll do it! | 我的天呐 够了 我照做就是了 |
| [01:27] | Anna-Kat, I need you to make room in your bag for this. | 安娜凯特 我需要你在箱子里腾出空间放这个 |
| [01:29] | It’s Mom’s birthday gift. | 这是送给你妈妈的生日礼物 |
| [01:30] | I can’t pack it with our stuff. She’ll find it. | 我不能跟我们的东西装在一起 她会发现的 |
| [01:32] | I’ll try to fit it in. | 我会尽量塞进去的 |
| [01:34] | You know, you don’t need to take your pillow. | 其实 你是不必带枕头的 |
| [01:36] | They have them at the hotel. | 酒店是有枕头的 |
| [01:37] | Did you know that after two years, | 你知道使用两年后 |
| [01:39] | hotel pillows are mostly dead skin cells? | 酒店枕头基本全是死皮细胞吗 |
| [01:43] | I’m gonna go pack my pillow. | 我去把我的枕头也带上 |
| [01:46] | The best part about flying west is you gain three hours. | 飞去西海岸最棒的地方在于可以多出三小时的时间 |
| [01:48] | You’ll get there by lunch. | 你们到达时还是午餐时间 |
| [01:49] | I don’t know about that. | 那可未必 |
| [01:50] | We have a long layover in Dallas. | 我们在达拉斯要转机停留很久 |
| [01:52] | So change your tickets to nonstop. | 那就改成直飞票啊 |
| [01:53] | And first class. | 再改成头等舱 |
| [01:54] | And make it Monaco. | 把目的地改成摩纳哥 |
| [01:55] | We can’t just change the tickets. | 我们没办法改票 |
| [01:57] | We won this trip. | 这次旅行是奖品 |
| [01:59] | We have to take what they give us. | 他们安排的是什么样 就只能是什么样 |
| [02:00] | They can’t tell you what to do. | 他们无法掌控你们 |
| [02:02] | Last time I checked, this was still America. | 据我所知 这依旧是美国啊 |
| [02:04] | You know regular people | 你知道普通人 |
| [02:06] | can’t just switch flights whenever they want. | 是没办法随心所欲地改航班的吧 |
| [02:08] | It’s actually the first time | 这其实是我们家 |
| [02:09] | my family’s taken a plane to a vacation, | 第一次乘飞机去度假 |
| [02:11] | so don’t ruin this for me. | 所以别毁了我的好心情 |
| [02:13] | Alright, I hear you. I was totally out of line. | 好吧 明白 是我过分了 |
| [02:15] | But you’ve, like, been to Monaco, right? | 但你去过摩纳哥 对吧 |
| [02:18] | You just don’t get anything about me or my reality. | 你对于我或我的现实一无所知 |
| [02:20] | I don’t feel seen or known by you. | 我觉得你看不见我 也不了解我 |
| [02:22] | “Seen or known”? | “看不见也不了解” |
| [02:24] | Working at Teen Help Line’s made you super emo, dude. | 在青少年求助热线工作让你变得超级情绪化 老兄 |
| [02:26] | Oh, yeah. | 是啊 |
| [02:27] | You know, this vacation’s come at a perfect time. | 这次度假来得太是时候了 |
| [02:29] | I need a break from you. | 我需要摆脱你一段时间 |
| [02:31] | Well, did you ever stop and think | 你有没有停下来想一想 |
| [02:32] | I need a break from you, too? | 或许我也要摆脱你一段时间呢 |
| [02:34] | Great. | 好极了 |
| [02:35] | – Uno, dos, tres, cuatro — – What are you doing? | -一 二 三 四… -你在干什么 |
| [02:38] | Stopping myself from saying something I might regret. | 努力克制自己说出一些我可能会后悔的话 |
| [02:41] | No, say it. | 不 说出来吧 |
| [02:43] | You can’t pull off that belt. | 你根本衬不出那条皮带的气质 |
| [02:45] | Get…out. | 滚 出去 |
| [02:55] | This is from me and Doris. | 这是我和多瑞丝送你的 |
| [02:56] | Happy 40th, honey. | 40岁生日快乐 亲爱的 |
| [02:58] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [02:59] | Just promise not to open it until the night of your birthday. | 答应我们 一定要等到你生日当天晚上才能打开 |
| [03:01] | So, 40. | 40岁了啊 |
| [03:03] | How you dealing with that? | 你能接受这个事实了吗 |
| [03:04] | I don’t care about 40. Bring it on. | 我根本不在乎迈入40岁 放马过来吧 |
| [03:06] | It’s just one step closer to 48, | 这样距离48岁又近了一步 |
| [03:07] | when the last kid is finally out of the house. | 到时候最后一个孩子也要长大离开家了 |
| [03:10] | Then it’ll be Katie time all the time. | 然后永远都是凯蒂个人的美好时光 |
| [03:13] | What about Greg? | 那格雷格呢 |
| [03:14] | By then, he’ll probably have, like…a train set? | 等到那个时候 他或许会有…一套火车玩具 |
| [03:18] | What are you guys gonna do in L.A.? | 你们去洛杉矶后要干什么 |
| [03:20] | I want to go to that restaurant PUMP | 我想去帕普餐厅 |
| [03:21] | and meet Lisa Vanderpump from “Real Housewives.” | 见见《真实娇妻》节目里的丽莎·凡德帕普 |
| [03:23] | Oh, yeah. | 对哦 |
| [03:24] | LVP rules! She is the best of the H-wives. | 丽·凡普赞爆了 她是《真实娇妻》里最棒的 |
| [03:28] | She’s British, | 她是英国人 |
| [03:28] | so when she calls you a whore, it sounds polite. | 当她骂你是妓女时 听上去也很有礼貌 |
| [03:30] | And then we’ll do whatever vacation stuff everybody else wants to do. | 然后我们就玩一些其他人都想玩的度假项目 |
| [03:33] | I hate to break it to you, | 我也不想说出来打击你 |
| [03:34] | but you ain’t going on vacation. | 但你这不是去度假 |
| [03:36] | You’re going on a family trip. | 你们这是家庭旅行 |
| [03:38] | What’s the difference? | 有什么区别吗 |
| [03:39] | A vacation is when you do what makes you happy. | 度假就是出去玩让你开心 |
| [03:42] | A family trip is when you drag your kids all over the place, | 家庭旅行就是拖家带口到处跑 |
| [03:46] | everyone is arguing about where to go and what to do, | 所有人都在争吵该去哪儿 该玩什么 |
| [03:49] | and by the end, you realize that | 到最后 你会意识到 |
| [03:51] | your friend who chose to stay single was actually right. | 你那些选择单身的朋友才是对的 |
| [03:54] | Okay, don’t listen to her, Katie. | 好了 别听她的 凯蒂 |
| [03:56] | This trip is for everyone. | 这次旅行是供所有人享受的 |
| [03:58] | This is also the first time your family’s traveling | 这也是你们全家第一次去一个 |
| [04:00] | to a place where no one’s wearing a bonnet. | 没人戴软帽的地方旅行 |
| [04:02] | Crapsburg! | 屎堡 |
| [04:03] | My advice — ditch the kids and do what you want to do. | 我的建议是 甩掉孩子 做你们想做的事 |
| [04:06] | Take a vacation, Katie, not a family trip. | 享受度假吧 凯蒂 而非家庭旅行 |
| [04:10] | I can do both. | 我可以二者兼有 |
| [04:11] | That’s what Angela said when she was dating those two women at once. | 安吉拉之前脚踏两条船时也是这么说的 |
| [04:15] | How’d that turn out? | 结果如何呢 |
| [04:17] | One’s in a coma… | 其中一个昏迷至今未醒 |
| [04:19] | and the other one’s in jail. | 另一个还在监狱里 |
| [04:21] | That’s on Angela. | 那是安吉拉的问题 |
| [04:23] | I got this. | 我可以搞定的 |
| [04:39] | I’m gonna go check us in. | 我去办理入住手续 |
| [04:42] | Oh, my gosh. | 我的天呐 |
| [04:44] | This is awesome! | 这也太赞了吧 |
| [04:45] | This is the first time | 这是我们第一次 |
| [04:46] | we’ve stayed anywhere with an actual lobby. | 住在一个有大厅的酒店 |
| [04:48] | And I’m not worried we’re gonna be murdered here tonight. | 而且我不用担心晚上被谋杀了 |
| [04:51] | There’s a complimentary continental breakfast | 早上8点到10点在夹层 |
| [04:52] | on the mezzanine level between 8:00 and 10:00! | 有酒店赠送的欧陆式早餐 |
| [04:54] | You know what that means, kids. | 你们都懂那意思 孩子们 |
| [04:56] | Load up our pockets with muffins. | 把口袋里塞满松糕 |
| [05:02] | Cooper? | 库珀 |
| [05:03] | What are you doing here? | 你来这里干什么 |
| [05:04] | I don’t like to go to bed angry. | 我不想带着怒气睡觉 |
| [05:06] | I took my jet here so we could talk. | 我坐了私家飞机过来跟你谈谈 |
| [05:08] | Must be nice. | 那肯定很爽 |
| [05:09] | This place is pretty cool. | 这地方挺好的 |
| [05:11] | Yeah, the Ottos are finally doing it right. | 是啊 奥图一家终于上道了 |
| [05:13] | But it’s not on the beach. | 但这不在海滩边 |
| [05:15] | You know what you got to do? | 你知道你该怎么做吗 |
| [05:16] | Rent yourself a place in Malibu. | 在马里布租个房子 |
| [05:18] | I can’t afford that. | 我负担不起 |
| [05:19] | Sure you can! It’s just the ‘Bu. | 你当然可以 那只是马里布哎 |
| [05:21] | – You just don’t get it. – What? | -你就是不明白 -什么 |
| [05:23] | You keep suggesting things that I can’t do. | 你总是建议我去做我无法做到的事 |
| [05:26] | And it’s embarrassing to keep saying, “I can’t do that.” | 而我一直说”我做不到” 真的很丢人 |
| [05:28] | I’m 12 hours away from stuffing muffins in my pockets. | 再过12小时 我就要往口袋里装满松糕了 |
| [05:32] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [05:33] | I really want to understand what’s going on with you. | 我真的很想了解你的生活 |
| [05:35] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [05:36] | Tomorrow, let’s go out in L.A. | 明天我们在洛杉矶逛逛 |
| [05:38] | I’ll show you what it feels like to be me. | 我让你体验下做我是什么感受 |
| [05:40] | The bottles of water on the nightstand are free! | 床头柜上的瓶装水是免费的 |
| [05:42] | But don’t touch the big FIJI. | 但别碰大瓶的斐济矿泉水 |
| [05:47] | We have a rain shower. | 我们有大花洒淋雨喷头 |
| [05:48] | That’s nice. | 真不错 |
| [05:49] | And a toilet that flushes different for ones and twos. | 马桶针对大便和小便的冲水模式也不同 |
| [05:52] | That’s great. | 真棒 |
| [05:55] | What are you watching? | 你在看什么 |
| [05:57] | I hired Maria to stay at the house and take care of Luthor. | 我雇玛丽亚留在家里照顾卢瑟 |
| [06:00] | We have a camera in the living room? | 我们家客厅有监控摄像头吗 |
| [06:02] | Yeah, we put it in to spy on Taylor | 是啊 我们是为了监视泰勒安装的 |
| [06:04] | when she first started dating Trip. | 她开始和特里普交往后就装了 |
| [06:05] | – What?! Oh, my God! – Relax! | -什么 天呐 -放松 |
| [06:07] | We stopped watching after the 15th time | 我们在第15次看到你们 |
| [06:09] | you guys tried to play “Clue” and couldn’t figure it out. | 想玩”线索”游戏却又玩不明白的时候就放弃了 |
| [06:12] | Principal Ablin? | 阿布林校长 |
| [06:18] | Oh, no. | 不要啊 |
| [06:19] | I told Maria no boys! | 我告诉过玛丽亚不能带男孩子来 |
| [06:21] | Okay, here’s what we’re doing tomorrow. | 听好 明天的安排 |
| [06:22] | We’re all meeting up with Cooper in Beverly Hills — | 我们都要去比弗利山庄见库珀 |
| [06:24] | No! I want to go to the wax museum and Venice Beach! | 不行 我想去蜡像馆和威尼斯海滩 |
| [06:26] | I want to see the Walk of Fame! | 我想去星光大道 |
| [06:27] | I want to see the Michelangelo exhibit at the Getty. | 我想去盖蒂博物馆看米开朗基罗的展览 |
| [06:29] | Great, great, great. We’re not doing any of that. | 很好很好 那些地方我们都不去 |
| [06:31] | We’re going to go to PUMP | 我们要去帕普餐厅 |
| [06:32] | so that I can try to see the queen, Lisa Vanderpump. | 这样我就能见到丽莎·凡德帕普女王本尊 |
| [06:34] | But I promised Cooper I’d meet him! | 但我答应了库珀我要跟他见面 |
| [06:36] | No one would be here if I hadn’t won this trip! | 如果不是我赢了这趟旅行 你们都不可能来 |
| [06:38] | I want to see the Specific Ocean! | 我想去看”大平洋” |
| [06:45] | I’m the one reason that everybody is here… | 多亏了我 大家才能来这 |
| [06:47] | Do what you want… Not a vacation… | 你想做什么就做什么 这不是度假 |
| [06:50] | Ditch the kids… | 丢掉孩子 |
| [06:51] | Why is there so much melon in this fruit cup? | 为什么水果杯里有这么多瓜 |
| [06:53] | Stop! | 都闭嘴 |
| [06:55] | Here’s the deal — | 这样吧 |
| [06:56] | tomorrow, everyone is free to do whatever they want. | 明天 大家想干什么就干什么 |
| [07:00] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [07:01] | It will be nice going to a museum | 其实这挺不错的 去博物馆时 |
| [07:02] | without your mom saying, “Big whoop, I could do that,” | 你们的老妈就不会在每一幅画旁边说 |
| [07:04] | after every painting. | “有什么了不起 我也行” |
| [07:05] | Sorry, nerd. Birthday. You’re coming with me. | 抱歉 呆瓜 老娘生日 你得跟我走 |
| [07:07] | So, we’re on our own tomorrow? | 那我们明天自由活动吗 |
| [07:09] | Yes. And then we can all have dinner together for my birthday. | 没错 然后我们晚上一起享用我的庆生晚餐 |
| [07:12] | It’s official — this is no longer a family trip. | 正式决定了 这不再是家庭旅行 |
| [07:16] | We’re on vacation! | 我们开启度假模式 |
| [07:22] | Don’t even think about it. | 想都别想 |
| [07:24] | Okay, guys, listen up — | 各位 听好了 |
| [07:25] | keep your cellphones handy in case we need to reach you. | 手机要放在方便拿的地方 以防我们联系你们 |
| [07:27] | Unless you got diabetes overnight | 除非你今晚得了糖尿病 |
| [07:29] | and it’s for your insulin, | 那里面装着胰岛素 |
| [07:30] | that fanny pack is unacceptable. | 否则别背那丑腰包出门 |
| [07:32] | Cooper’s downstairs. I’m gonna go meet him. | 库珀在楼下了 我去找他 |
| [07:34] | I also have a money belt for my most irreplaceable items. | 我还有贴身钱袋放着我其他无可取代的东西 |
| [07:37] | Like your lip balm? | 比如你的唇膏 |
| [07:38] | It’s actually nipple cream for nursing mothers. | 那其实是给哺乳期母亲用的乳头膏 |
| [07:40] | It’s the only thing that keeps these babies from cracking. | 那是唯一能让这双宝贝不皲裂的东西 |
| [07:43] | People say Van Gogh cut off his ear because of a woman, | 大家都说梵高是因为女人才自割双耳 |
| [07:46] | but I’m pretty sure | 但我相当确定 |
| [07:47] | it’s because his dad said the words “Nipple cream.” | 是因为他爸说了”乳头膏”这几个字 |
| [07:50] | Okay, you two — sun block. | 好了 你们两个 去涂防晒霜 |
| [07:54] | I want you to watch | 我想让你看 |
| [07:55] | the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” | 《比弗利山庄真实娇妻》 |
| [07:59] | so that you can realize, “A,” it’s fantastic, | 这样你就能意识到 第一 这剧非常好看 |
| [08:01] | and “B,” there’s crazier out there than what you married. | 第二 还有比你老婆更疯狂的女人 |
| [08:06] | How can you watch that garbage? | 你怎么能看这种垃圾 |
| [08:08] | Interesting. | 真有趣 |
| [08:09] | I seem to remember the head of the school recycling committee | 我似乎记得学校回收委员会的头儿 |
| [08:12] | saying that we need to, quote, “Rethink garbage.” | 说我们需要…我引述下 “重新思考垃圾” |
| [08:18] | That’s out of context. | 真是断章取义 |
| [08:21] | Fun fact — in 1932, | 一个有趣的事实 1932年 |
| [08:23] | actress Peg Entwistle committed suicide | 女演员佩格·恩特维斯特 |
| [08:25] | by jumping off the “H” in the Hollywood sign. | 从好莱坞标志的H字母上一跃而下自尽身亡 |
| [08:27] | The “H” in Hollywood or the “H” in sign? | 好莱坞里的H还是标志里的H |
| [08:30] | Taylor. | 泰勒 |
| [08:32] | When you and your sister walk to Hollywood Boulevard, | 你和妹妹去好莱坞大道时 |
| [08:34] | you need to keep an eye on her at all times. | 你需要一直看着她 |
| [08:35] | Great! So once again, I’m stuck looking after Anna-Kat. | 太好了 我又一次变成了安娜凯特的保姆 |
| [08:38] | Maybe you can use this as an opportunity | 也许你可以利用这个机会 |
| [08:39] | to cross another thing off your life-skills list. | 完成生存技能清单上的任务 |
| [08:41] | Like what? | 比如什么 |
| [08:45] | 52 — Keep a plant alive. | 52项 养活植物 |
| [08:47] | That’s close enough. | 足够接近了 |
| [08:49] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [08:54] | Mom’s present! | 妈妈的礼物 |
| [08:56] | It’s broken! How did this happen? | 坏掉了 怎么回事 |
| [09:06] | Look, I’m a kid. | 听着 我只是个孩子 |
| [09:07] | You give me bubble wrap, I’mma pop it. | 你给我泡泡膜 我肯定要捏爆 |
| [09:10] | You guys need to get this re-framed by dinner tonight. | 你们需要在今晚前粘好 |
| [09:12] | Why do we have to get it fixed?! | 为什么要我们修 |
| [09:14] | Because you broke it. | 因为是你们弄坏的 |
| [09:15] | Anna-Kat broke it! | 是安娜凯特弄坏的 |
| [09:16] | How could I break it? I’m a plant. | 怎么可能 我只是棵植物 |
| [09:18] | Just fix it. | 赶紧修好 |
| [09:21] | We have three hours until the frame is fixed, | 我们只有三小时游玩时间 然后就得回去修相框 |
| [09:23] | so we’ll do the Walk of Fame first and then the wax museum. | 所以我们先去星光大道 然后去蜡像博物馆 |
| [09:25] | Look — Marilyn Monroe. | 你瞧 玛丽莲·梦露 |
| [09:26] | She lived a really sad life. | 她的一辈子都是个悲剧 |
| [09:28] | She grew up an orphan. | 小时候是孤儿 |
| [09:29] | And I’m sure she died in a super depressing way. | 那她的死亡方式肯定也令人非常抑郁 |
| [09:32] | Yeah. Drug overdose. | 是啊 吸毒过量 |
| [09:34] | At least that’s what the Kennedys want you to think. | 至少肯尼迪家族希望大家这么认为 |
| [09:37] | See? They’re fine. | 你瞧 她们没事 |
| [09:39] | I know. I just worry about them. | 我知道 我只是担心她们 |
| [09:41] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [09:42] | But this is a vacation, | 但这是度假 |
| [09:43] | and we’re doing stuff that we want to do. | 我们要做我们想做的事 |
| [09:44] | – Stuff you want to do. – Same thing. | -是你想做的事吧 -一回事 |
| [09:46] | And the only way to do that | 为了达到目的 |
| [09:47] | is to trust the kids to take care of themselves, | 我们只能信任孩子们能照顾好自己 |
| [09:49] | which they’re clearly doing. | 她们无疑做得很好 |
| [09:51] | You just need to find a way to relax. | 你需要找到让自己放松的办法 |
| [09:53] | Oh, I could use my new meditation app. | 我可以使用我新装的冥想应用 |
| [09:55] | My cellphone is readily accessible | 我的手机就放在 |
| [09:56] | right here in my convenient fanny pack. | 我的便利腰包里 轻易能掏出来 |
| [10:00] | Or we could relax California style. | 我们也可以用加州的方式放松 |
| [10:04] | Oh, I don’t know. | 我不确定这样好不好 |
| [10:05] | What? It’s legal here. | 怎么了 在加州是合法的 |
| [10:07] | And it’s not like you’ve never done it before. | 再说你又不是没抽过 |
| [10:09] | Okay, remember when I told you | 好吧 记得我告诉过你 |
| [10:11] | – I partied a lot in high school? – Yeah. | -我上高中时常去派对玩吗 -记得 |
| [10:14] | Replace “Partied” with “Learned calligraphy in my basement.” | 把”派对”替换成”在地下室学习书法” |
| [10:16] | Don’t worry. I’ll be with you. | 别担心 我会陪着你 |
| [10:18] | They didn’t nickname me | 当年我被尊称为 |
| [10:19] | Katie “Dank-Nasty Bong-MacGyver Babylon” for nothing. | 凯蒂·”自制大麻烟枪女魔头”可不是浪得虚名 |
| [10:35] | If you’re gonna understand me, | 如果你想了解我 |
| [10:36] | you need to live within my limitations. | 就不能超出我的消费能力 |
| [10:38] | So I’m giving you $20. | 所以我给你20美元 |
| [10:40] | That’s all you have to spend. | 你只能花这么多钱 |
| [10:41] | Piece of cake! | 小意思 |
| [10:44] | That’s really nice. | 那个挺好看的 |
| [10:46] | Sure is. | 可不是嘛 |
| [10:47] | I think I’m gonna get one in white. | 我要买白色的 |
| [10:48] | Ah, you want it, but you can’t have it, | 虽然你想要 但你不能拥有 |
| [10:50] | because that sweater definitely costs more than $20. | 因为那件毛衣售价绝对超过20块 |
| [10:53] | I was talking about the Lamborghini. | 我是说这辆兰博基尼 |
| [10:56] | But I do like that sweater. | 不过我的确喜欢那件毛衣 |
| [10:58] | Aw, I’m sorry. You can’t afford it. | 真不好意思 你买不起 |
| [11:00] | It costs at least 3 grand. | 售价至少三千 |
| [11:04] | You know what? I’m gonna get it. | 告诉你 我要买下来 |
| [11:06] | I can’t. I’m done. | 好了 我受够了 |
| [11:14] | Pot store was a lot nicer than I thought it would be. | 大麻店比我想象的好多了 |
| [11:16] | And very educational. | 而且很有教育意义 |
| [11:18] | The gentleman at the front told me | 前台那位先生告诉我 |
| [11:19] | that when you want to smoke, you look at your watch | 想抽大麻时 就看看自己手表 |
| [11:21] | and say, “Hey now, it’s blunt o’clock.” | 说”嘿 现在是大麻时间” |
| [11:24] | It’s been half an hour since we took the gummies. | 我们吃下大麻糖已经过了半小时了 |
| [11:27] | You feel anything yet? | 你有感觉了没 |
| [11:29] | No. | 还没 |
| [11:30] | Maybe we should take another one. | 也许我们该再吃一颗 |
| [11:32] | Let’s give it a sec. | 先等一等吧 |
| [11:47] | Do you really like being an Uber driver? | 你真的喜欢当优步司机吗 |
| [11:48] | So, h-how long — how long have you been doing it? | 你当优步司机多久了 |
| [11:49] | – Is it the best thing ever? – Is it — I mean, | -是史上最棒的工作吗 -我的意思是 |
| [11:51] | do you see guys all the time? | 你经常能遇见不一样的人吗 |
| [11:51] | – Do you see so many people? – Just would be so weird! | -你能遇见很多人吗 -但会好怪啊 |
| [11:53] | – But it’s amazing. Oh, my God. – Do you have a gun? | -但这样又很棒 天呐 -你有枪吗 |
| [11:54] | I want to be an Uber driver all of a sudden. | 我突然很想当优步司机 |
| [11:56] | Have you punched people? | 你有没有揍过人 |
| [12:04] | What a great fight. | 这争吵太精彩了 |
| [12:06] | See?! | 看见没 |
| [12:07] | Reality TV is the best! | 真人秀节目最好看了 |
| [12:09] | The best! | 宇宙无敌好看 |
| [12:11] | I’ve wasted so much time watching Ken Burns. | 我浪费了太多时间看肯·伯恩斯执导的纪录片 |
| [12:14] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [12:15] | We’re free, Greg! | 我们自由了 格雷格 |
| [12:16] | We’re at the place in our life | 我们正处在人生的绝佳阶段 |
| [12:17] | where the kids hardly even need us anymore. | 孩子们几乎不再需要我们了 |
| [12:20] | We made it! | 守得云开见月明啊 |
| [12:21] | Cut your own damn crusts off, kids! | 自己切掉面包边吧 孩子们 |
| [12:23] | Yeah! Yeah! | 对 没错 |
| [12:24] | Find your own damn shoes! | 自己找鞋子吧 |
| [12:26] | Yeah, shoes your own damn crust! | 没错 自己鞋子”掉面包边”吧 |
| [12:30] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:37] | Hey, look! Lana Turner! | 快看 是女星拉娜·特纳 |
| [12:39] | Her daughter murdered her Mafia boyfriend, | 她女儿杀了她的黑帮男友 |
| [12:41] | and the studio covered it up. | 但制片公司掩盖了这个真相 |
| [12:42] | They don’t do business like that anymore. | 现在的娱乐圈已经不这样行事了 |
| [12:44] | It’s all so corporate. | 都是大集团的做派 |
| [12:45] | Yes. Okay. | 好了 |
| [12:46] | Alright. | 好吧 |
| [12:48] | Okay, let’s try it again. | 好 我们再试一次 |
| [12:49] | Which shell has the pea? | 豌豆在哪个核桃壳底下 |
| [12:51] | Anna-Kat, I saw that woman win twice in a row, | 安娜凯特 我看到那女人连赢了两次 |
| [12:53] | and I spotted the ball every time. | 我每次都发现了豌豆在哪里 |
| [12:55] | I could double the money Dad gave us. | 我可以把老爸给我们的钱翻倍 |
| [12:57] | These things are scams. | 这些都是骗人的把戏 |
| [12:59] | Yeah, you’re right. | 好吧 你说得对 |
| [13:00] | Yes! | 答对了 |
| [13:02] | I’m getting killed out here. | 我要被你赢到破产了 |
| [13:04] | Might just pack it up. | 索性早点收摊好了 |
| [13:05] | I’ll do it! | 我要玩 |
| [13:09] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [13:10] | You know where the pea is not, you know where the pea is. | 你知道哪个没豌豆 你知道哪个有豌豆 |
| [13:12] | Keep your eye on the shell that has the pea. | 盯紧有豌豆的那个核桃壳 |
| [13:16] | What shell has the pea? | 哪个核桃壳底下有豌豆 |
| [13:17] | That one. | 那个 |
| [13:18] | So sorry. | 很抱歉 |
| [13:19] | It’s not there. It’s over here. | 豌豆不在那里 而是在这里 |
| [13:22] | What?! | 什么 |
| [13:23] | No! I swear, it was there! | 不 我发誓 刚才就在那里 |
| [13:27] | They were in on it together. | 他们是一伙的 |
| [13:29] | They set you up. | 他们给你下套了 |
| [13:30] | I’m so screwed. | 这下我惨了 |
| [13:33] | Wonder Woman! I need your help! | 神奇女侠 快帮帮我 |
| [13:36] | They stole my money! You need to stop them! | 他们偷了我的钱 你得阻止他们 |
| [13:38] | I’ll do it for $5. | 给我5块我就干 |
| [13:39] | Taylor, don’t give her the — | 泰勒 别给她钱… |
| [13:41] | W– She stole my money! | 什… 她偷了我的钱 |
| [13:44] | Batman, there’s been a crime! | 蝙蝠侠 有人犯罪了 |
| [13:46] | Batman! | 蝙蝠侠 |
| [13:50] | Here we go. | 到了 |
| [13:51] | I can’t believe we’re at PUMP. | 我们竟然真的来到了帕普餐厅 |
| [13:53] | Lisa Vanderpump’s my favorite housewife, | 老板丽莎·凡德帕普是我最喜欢的比弗利娇妻 |
| [13:55] | and I finally get to meet her! | 我终于有机会见到她了 |
| [13:59] | Get out of the car, Greg. | 快下车 格雷格 |
| [14:14] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [14:16] | This isn’t right. | 这不对啊 |
| [14:18] | Oh, crap! | 靠 |
| [14:20] | I guess I was all gummied up | 我估计是吃大麻糖吃嗨了 |
| [14:21] | and put the wrong PUMP into the Uber web-thing. | 在优步软件里输入了错误的”帕普”[泵] |
| [14:25] | Greg, call them to come back. | 格雷格 叫他们回来 |
| [14:31] | My fanny pack! | 我的腰包 |
| [14:32] | I left my fanny pack in the car. | 我的腰包落在车上了 |
| [14:34] | It’s got all our stuff in it! | 我们全部家当都在里面 |
| [14:35] | We’re stranded! | 我们寸步难移了 |
| [14:37] | Wait! | 等等 |
| [14:38] | What about your money belt? | 你的现金腰带呢 |
| [14:43] | All that is in here | 里面居然只装了 |
| [14:44] | is a pocket-size copy of the Constitution. | 一本袖珍版的《宪法》 |
| [14:47] | People died to protect this document, Katie. | 有人曾不惜牺牲生命来保护这文件 凯蒂 |
| [14:55] | – We need to call Oliver. – Yes. | -我们得打给奥利弗 -没错 |
| [14:57] | He is with Cooper, and Cooper has his driver. | 他和库珀在一起 库珀有司机 |
| [15:00] | We need to ask the guy in the station… | 我们得向加油站的人 |
| [15:02] | …to use his phone. | 借用电话 |
| [15:05] | Do you know Oliver’s number? | 你记得奥利弗的号码吗 |
| [15:07] | Of course not. | 当然不记得 |
| [15:09] | It’s in my phone, | 我手机里有 |
| [15:10] | which you insisted that I put in your convenient fanny pack. | 但你坚持要我把手机放进你的便利腰包 |
| [15:14] | If we think hard enough, we’ll remember it. | 我们努力回想 应该能想起来 |
| [15:17] | Oliver. | 奥利弗 |
| [15:20] | – Oliver. – Yes. | -奥利弗 -没错 |
| [15:22] | Oliver Otto. | 奥利弗·奥图 |
| [15:25] | Oliver Otto. | 奥利弗·奥图 |
| [15:26] | That’s fun to say. | 念出来还挺好玩的 |
| [15:28] | Oliver Ot-to. | 奥利弗·奥图 |
| [15:30] | Oliver Ot-to. | 奥利弗·奥图 |
| [15:34] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [15:35] | What were we trying to remember? | 我们是在努力想起什么来着 |
| [15:40] | I really messed up. | 我真的闯了大祸了 |
| [15:42] | I can’t pay for the frame, | 我没钱修相框 |
| [15:43] | so Mom’s not gonna have her birthday gift. | 所以妈妈收不到生日礼物了 |
| [15:48] | I think we should just call Dad and tell him what happened. | 我觉得我们应该打给爸爸 把事情都告诉他 |
| [15:51] | We can’t. He’s gonna be so mad. | 不能打 他一定会气炸的 |
| [15:53] | You know how he spits when he yells. | 你知道他吼人时会吐沫乱飞 |
| [15:55] | He’s gonna get nipple cream all over me. | 他会把乳头膏喷得我一身的 |
| [15:58] | What are we gonna do? | 我们要怎么办啊 |
| [16:11] | ♪ Here I am for the first time ♪ | ♪这是我第一次来这里♪ |
| [16:13] | ♪ Look to my right, and I see the Hollywood sign ♪ | ♪往右看 我看到了好莱坞的大标志♪ |
| [16:15] | ♪ This is all so crazy ♪ | ♪这一切都太疯狂了♪ |
| [16:17] | ♪ Everybody here’s so famous ♪ | ♪这里的所有人都那么有名♪ |
| [16:19] | ♪ So I put my hands up, playin’ my song ♪ | ♪于是我高举双手 演唱我的歌曲♪ |
| [16:22] | ♪ Butterflies fly away ♪ | ♪蝴蝶渐渐飞远♪ |
| [16:24] | ♪ Noddin’ my head like yeah ♪ | ♪像这样点头♪ |
| [16:26] | ♪ Movin’ my hips like yeah ♪ | ♪像这样扭臀♪ |
| [16:28] | ♪ And I put my hands up, playin’ my song ♪ | ♪我高举双手 演唱我的歌曲♪ |
| [16:30] | ♪ Know I’m gonna be okay ♪ | ♪心知我一定会没事的♪ |
| [16:34] | ♪ It’s a party in the USA ♪ | ♪这是美国的一场狂欢派对♪ |
| [16:46] | Dude, I’m sorry, but I just don’t get how — | 老兄 我很遗憾 但我不明白你们是怎么… |
| [16:48] | Okay, so where are you guys? | 好吧 你们现在在哪儿 |
| [16:51] | Fine. We’ll be right there. | 好吧 我们马上赶到 |
| [16:53] | We have to go pick up my parents. | 我们得去接一下我爸妈 |
| [16:55] | Apparently, they lost all their stuff | 显然 他们丢失了所有的东西 |
| [16:56] | and are stranded somewhere completely random. | 现在被困在一个荒凉的地方 |
| [16:58] | I’ll text my driver to come pick us up. | 我联系下我的司机来接我们 |
| [17:01] | They never leave me alone. | 他们从来就不消停 |
| [17:03] | I can’t even get one day away from them, you know? | 我想摆脱他们哪怕一天都不行 你明白吗 |
| [17:05] | Actually, I don’t. | 其实 我不明白 |
| [17:07] | I’m not even sure if my parents know I’m in L.A. | 我都不确定我爸妈是否知道我此刻在洛杉矶 |
| [17:09] | Aw, sorry, dude. | 抱歉 老兄 |
| [17:10] | I forgot they’re AWOL all the time. | 我忘了他们总是处于缺位状态 |
| [17:15] | I think I get what you were trying to tell me. | 我觉得我理解你试图告诉我的东西了 |
| [17:18] | It feels bad when your best friend | 当你最好的朋友拥有 |
| [17:19] | has something you want but can’t have. | 你想要却得不到的东西 的确让人很难受 |
| [17:23] | How about this — | 不如这样吧 |
| [17:24] | from now on, I’ll be sensitive to what you don’t have, | 从今以后 我会对你无法拥有的东西更敏感些 |
| [17:27] | and you’ll be sensitive to what I don’t have. | 你对我无法拥有的东西也更敏感些 |
| [17:29] | Cool! And if you want, I’ll keep sharing my money. | 好极了 如果你愿意 我可以一直跟你分享我的钱 |
| [17:31] | And I’ll keep sharing my parents. | 我也可以一直跟你分享我的父母 |
| [17:32] | Sweet. | 太好了 |
| [17:33] | Can I get a little more Katie than Greg? | 能多点凯蒂 少点格雷格吗 |
| [17:35] | I mean, your dad’s chill, | 我是说 虽说你爸挺不错的 |
| [17:37] | but your mom’s just on another level. | 但你妈的段位比他要高出很多 |
| [17:39] | I love that chica. | 我爱那个女人 |
| [17:42] | Oh, my God! Anna-Kat, you made over $100! | 天呐 安娜凯特 你挣到了一百多块钱 |
| [17:45] | Not including the fake money with pictures of Elvis on it. | 不包括上面画着猫王的假钞 |
| [17:49] | Please don’t tell me how he died. | 求你别告诉我他是怎么死的 |
| [17:51] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [17:53] | Heart attack on the toilet. | 上厕所时心脏病发作 |
| [17:56] | I want to apologize. | 我想向你道歉 |
| [17:58] | I’ve been complaining about having to look after you, | 我一直在抱怨要照顾你 |
| [17:59] | but you ended up being the one looking after me. | 结果却是你照顾我 |
| [18:03] | We’ll look after each other. | 我们彼此照顾吧 |
| [18:05] | Let’s go pick up Mom’s present. | 我们去挑给妈妈的礼物吧 |
| [18:08] | Let’s double our money! | 我们去把钱翻倍吧 |
| [18:12] | – Me next! – Taylor. | -下一个我来 -泰勒 |
| [18:13] | Maybe it’ll just be me looking after you. | 或许还是就我照顾你吧 |
| [18:18] | Thank God Taylor knew how to get ahold of our Uber | 谢天谢地泰勒知道怎么联系我们的优步司机 |
| [18:20] | so we could get our stuff back. | 才能让我们拿回东西 |
| [18:22] | I was wrong to try and push our kids away. | 我试图把孩子们推开 是我错了 |
| [18:25] | I was in such a rush for them to take care of themselves, | 我之前太急着让他们自己照顾自己了 |
| [18:27] | when it turns out we can’t even take care of ourselves. | 结果发现 我们连自己都照顾不好 |
| [18:30] | Yeah, if you think we can’t take care of ourselves now, | 是啊 如果你现在就认为我们无法照顾好自己 |
| [18:32] | wait until we get older. | 等我们再老点才叫惨呢 |
| [18:33] | I know! | 我也觉得 |
| [18:34] | When we’re 80, who’s going to take us to the doctor? | 等我们七老八十了 谁带我们去看医生啊 |
| [18:36] | Or put us in a nursing home against our will? | 或者强行把我们送进养老院 |
| [18:39] | – Oliver. – Yeah. | -奥利弗会的 -没错 |
| [18:40] | That’s what I was gonna say. | 我本来也想这么说的 |
| [18:44] | I don’t see Lisa Vanderpump. | 我没看到丽莎·凡德帕普 |
| [18:46] | Maybe she’s at SUR shooting “Vanderpump Rules.” | 或许她在性感独特餐厅拍《凡德帕普女王》呢 |
| [18:49] | Mm, she has been having trouble with Jax. | 她最近跟杰克斯之间的关系有点紧张 |
| [18:53] | This right here | 现在这样的你 |
| [18:54] | is the best birthday present I could’ve gotten. | 是我能收到的最棒的生日礼物 |
| [18:58] | Well, here’s one more. | 这里还有一份礼物呢 |
| [19:01] | I know you didn’t want to make a big deal about your birthday, | 我知道你不希望小题大做 把生日搞得太隆重 |
| [19:03] | but here’s a little something from all of us. | 但这是我们所有人送你的礼物 |
| [19:05] | Happy birthday, Mom. | 生日快乐 妈妈 |
| [19:09] | Oh, my God! | 我的天呐 |
| [19:12] | My favorite photo! | 我最爱的照片 |
| [19:14] | It’s hilarious. | 太搞笑了 |
| [19:16] | I love it. | 我太爱了 |
| [19:17] | Happy birthday, Katie Otto! | 生日快乐 凯蒂·奥图 |
| [19:21] | Lisa Vanderpump! | 丽莎·凡德帕普 |
| [19:23] | How did you know that it was my birthday? | 你怎么知道今天是我生日啊 |
| [19:25] | Well, my godson called and told me. | 我的教子打电话告诉我的 |
| [19:28] | Hello, Cooper, darling. | 你好啊 库珀 亲爱的 |
| [19:31] | My family, your money — it works. | 我的家人 你的金钱 最佳组合 |
| [19:33] | Perfectly. | 完美组合 |
| [19:34] | It’s a real pleasure to meet you. | 很高兴见到你 |
| [19:35] | We’re such big fans. | 我们是你的铁杆粉丝 |
| [19:36] | Wait, aren’t you Professor Badonkadonk? | 等等 你不是海臀教授吗 |
| [19:39] | As a matter of fact, I am. | 没错 正是我 |
| [19:42] | Ken, Puffy, and I love your videos. | 肯 帕菲和我超爱你的视频 |
| [19:45] | Well, anyway, blow out the candles. | 好了 快吹蜡烛吧 |
| [19:49] | Happy birthday, darling. | 生日快乐 亲爱的 |
| [19:51] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [19:55] | This is amazing. | 这太赞了 |
| [19:57] | I could be friends with her. | 我或许可以跟她成为朋友 |
| [19:59] | We hooked her with Badonkadonk. | 我们已经让她跟海臀教授相识了 |
| [20:00] | Now you got to marry her godson to reel her in. | 现在你要嫁给她的教子 把她彻底拉入这个家族 |
| [20:02] | Mom, we’re not gay. | 妈 我们不是同性恋 |
| [20:03] | But it’s my birthday! | 但今天是我的生日啊 |
| [20:09] | This is super boring. | 这也太无趣了吧 |
| [20:11] | No fighting, no backstabbing. | 没有争吵 没有背后捅刀子 |
| [20:12] | This is terrible reality TV. | 这个真人秀简直太烂了 |
| [20:14] | At least we had that funny part when Ablin went to the bathroom | 至少有个片段是搞笑的 就是阿布林去上厕所 |
| [20:16] | and Luthor ate his sandwich. | 卢瑟吃掉了他的三明治 |
| [20:19] | Did he drop something? | 他是掉了什么东西在地上吗 |
| [20:21] | No. He’s proposing! | 不是 他在求婚 |
| [20:25] | Oh, my gosh! | 我的天呐 |
| [20:25] | She said yes! | 她同意了 |
| [20:31] | Uh, Katie, why don’t you open Doris and Angela’s present? | 凯蒂 你何不去拆开多瑞丝和安吉拉送的礼物呢 |
| [20:34] | It’s by the TV in the other room. | 就在另外那个房间的电视机旁边 |
| [20:46] | Happy birthday! | 生日快乐 |
| [20:49] | You crazy bitches flew out here! | 你们这两个疯婆娘也飞来这里了 |
| [20:53] | Big FIJIs! | 大瓶斐济矿泉水 |