| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | You put everything you’ve got into your children. | 你为了孩子鞠躬尽瘁 |
| [00:04] | You teach them, you nurture them, | 你教导他们 养育他们 |
| [00:06] | you shepherd them along life’s winding path. | 引导他们走人生正确的道路 |
| [00:09] | But what if, after all that, | 但如果 经过一系列栽培 |
| [00:11] | they grow up to be morons? | 他们却长成了白痴 |
| [00:17] | Okay, everyone, | 各位 |
| [00:18] | if we have any hope of selling the minivan, | 如果我们想要卖掉迷你厢车 |
| [00:21] | we got to clean it up. | 就得把它打扫干净 |
| [00:22] | That means getting rid of all the stains and smells. | 这意味去除所有污渍和臭味 |
| [00:27] | That is 10 years of old milk and farts right there. | 这可是十年陈的牛奶和屁混合味 |
| [00:30] | Why do we have to sell it? | 为什么我们要卖车 |
| [00:31] | Because it’s a rite of passage. | 因为这是人生的重要里程碑 |
| [00:33] | Minivans are for families with little kids. | 迷你厢车适合带小宝宝的家庭 |
| [00:36] | The Ottos are entering a new era. | 奥图一家要进入新时代 |
| [00:38] | Taylor can drive, Oliver gets his permit this year… | 泰勒会开车 奥利弗今年拿驾照 |
| [00:41] | And you’re old enough to squeeze in between these two | 而你也够大了 如果你爹和我打算去野营 |
| [00:43] | if we ever go on that camping trip | 你也能挤在他俩中间 |
| [00:44] | that I’m never, ever going to sign off on. | 不过我是永远永远不去野营的 |
| [00:50] | I’m gonna miss this thing. | 我会想它的 |
| [00:51] | You’re going to miss it? | 你会想它 |
| [00:52] | Yeah. It means a lot to me. | 对 它对我来说很重要 |
| [00:54] | The day you guys brought it home | 你们把它开回来的那天 |
| [00:56] | was the day I decided to go to Harvard | 我决定去上哈佛 |
| [00:57] | so I could become rich | 好让自己变富 |
| [00:58] | and never have to drive this symbol of middle-class mediocrity. | 永远不用开这种象征平庸的中层阶级垃圾 |
| [01:01] | I love and I hate it, | 我对它又爱又恨 |
| [01:02] | so thank you and also how dare you. | 所以谢谢 以及你们怎么敢 |
| [01:04] | I’m gonna miss this thing, too. | 我也会想它的 |
| [01:06] | Every spill and stain has a memory. | 每个溅痕和污渍都有历史 |
| [01:10] | Here is where Oliver threw up his Cheerios when he was 5. | 这是奥利弗五岁时撒了他的多种麦圈麦片 |
| [01:13] | They were actually Toasted O’s, | 其实是烤面包麦片 |
| [01:15] | the generic ones. | 有机的那种 |
| [01:16] | That’s when we realized | 那时我们才意识到 |
| [01:17] | he was allergic to off-brand foods. | 他对杂牌的食品过敏 |
| [01:19] | I used to love looking in the back seat | 我以前特别爱看着后排座椅 |
| [01:21] | and seeing those three little heads bobbing around. | 看着三个可爱的小脑袋晃悠 |
| [01:25] | I spy with my little eye… | 我的小眼睛看到了 |
| [01:28] | something red. | 一些红色 |
| [01:31] | I’ll give you a hint. | 给你们一个提示 |
| [01:35] | A fire truck! | 消防车 |
| [01:36] | A red noise! | 红色的噪音 |
| [01:40] | Every time you talk about the past, | 每次你谈起过去 |
| [01:41] | you make a point of saying | 你总要强调 |
| [01:42] | you look exactly like Alessandra Ambrosio. | 自己看起来像亚历桑德拉·安布罗休 |
| [01:45] | I like to tell the story accurately, Greg. | 我喜欢精准地还原故事 格雷格 |
| [01:47] | I miss when you were such cute, squishy, little babies. | 我想念你们还是可爱 肉乎小宝贝的那会儿 |
| [01:53] | But now I look at you, I just see free labor. | 现在我看你们 只看到免费劳动力 |
| [01:55] | Get to work. | 赶紧去干活 |
| [02:04] | I have great news for you guys. | 我有好消息告诉你们 |
| [02:07] | Anna-Kat has been officially sprung from the looney bin. | 安娜凯特正式从疯人院毕业了 |
| [02:11] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
| [02:12] | The looney bin. | 疯人院 |
| [02:13] | The quacky factory. | 怪胎工厂 |
| [02:14] | Anna-Kat no longer has to attend | 安娜凯特不用再参加 |
| [02:16] | Dr. Ellie’s Special Ed class. | 埃莉医生的特殊教育班了 |
| [02:18] | That is good news. | 确实是好消息 |
| [02:20] | Is there a less offensive way to say that? | 有没有不那么得罪人的说法 |
| [02:23] | I don’t think so, no. | 我觉得没有 |
| [02:25] | Anna-Kat’s OCD has really improved. | 安娜凯特的强迫症好多了 |
| [02:27] | She’s ready to be with everyone all day. | 她已经准备好和大伙待一整天了 |
| [02:28] | We’re happy to hear that, | 听到这个我们很开心 |
| [02:30] | but we’re also concerned it might be a tad premature. | 但我们也担心这是否有些太快了 |
| [02:34] | We are? | 是吗 |
| [02:35] | Yes, we are. | 是的 |
| [02:37] | Principal Ablin, are you sure that she’s ready? | 阿布林校长 你确定她准备好了吗 |
| [02:40] | This summer, | 这个暑假 |
| [02:41] | she watched that John Goodman bomb shelter movie | 她看了约翰·古德曼的炸弹防空洞电影 |
| [02:43] | and turned her entire closet into a doomsday bunker. | 把自己的整个衣柜改造成了末日堡垒 |
| [02:49] | Privet? | 二等兵 |
| [02:50] | Anna-Kat? Privet? | 安娜凯特 二等兵 |
| [02:53] | On the plus side, | 可喜的是 |
| [02:54] | Mikhail said we have a place to stay | 米哈伊尔说如果我们 |
| [02:55] | – if we ever make it to St. Petersburg. – Yeah. | -有幸去圣彼得堡可以住他家 -对 |
| [02:58] | Anna-Kat might not be ready for this. | 安娜凯特也许还没准备好 |
| [03:01] | You said it was a new era, and that’s exactly what she started. | 你说这是个新时代 这正是她现在的状态 |
| [03:03] | But what if she’s not ready for the new era? | 但如果她没准备好迎接呢 |
| [03:06] | Like the dinosaurs and the Ice Age. | 就像恐龙和冰河世纪 |
| [03:07] | A meteor killed the dinosaurs. | 是小行星灭绝了恐龙 |
| [03:08] | Don’t science me, Greg. | 别跟我抠字眼 格雷格 |
| [03:10] | Katie, we moved to this town | 凯蒂 我们搬来这里 |
| [03:11] | so she could get the special help she needed, | 就是为了让她获得特殊教育 |
| [03:13] | and it worked. | 现在奏效了 |
| [03:14] | This is a good thing. | 这是件好事 |
| [03:15] | But I liked that Dr. Ellie was an extra pair of eyes on her, | 但我喜欢那个埃莉医生看着她 |
| [03:18] | and if she slipped off the rails, | 这样如果她又跑偏了 |
| [03:19] | she was right there to put her back on. | 医生可以把她一把拉回正轨 |
| [03:22] | When you start a new era, things are bound to change. | 每个新时代开始 都注定会有改变 |
| [03:24] | So you’re saying I should calm down? | 所以你是说我该冷静点 |
| [03:26] | No, I’ve learned to avoid your trigger phrases — | 不 我已经学会避开你的生气语句了 |
| [03:28] | “Calm down,” “You’re overreacting,” | “冷静””你反应过度了” |
| [03:29] | “Really? I thought she was nice.” | “真的吗 我以为她很好” |
| [03:31] | You’ve just about got the hang of me. | 你真是越来越了解我了 |
| [03:42] | Anna-Kat? | 安娜凯特 |
| [03:44] | We have some good news for you. | 我们有好消息告诉你 |
| [03:46] | You have officially graduated from Dr. Ellie’s class. | 你已经正式从埃莉医生的班上毕业了 |
| [03:50] | Really?! | 真的吗 |
| [03:55] | We’re pretty sure you’re ready for this. | 我们很确定你已经准备好了 |
| [03:57] | I mean, there’s no way for us to really know | 其实我们没法真的确认 |
| [04:00] | if you’re ready. | 你是否准备好了 |
| [04:01] | Unless you’re not ready. | 除非你没有准备好 |
| [04:02] | But you’re ready. | 但你已经准备好了 |
| [04:03] | – Maybe. – Rutabaga. | -也许吧 -甜菜头 |
| [04:05] | What does that mean? | 那是什么意思 |
| [04:05] | It’s a code your mom and I have | 这是我和你妈的暗号 |
| [04:07] | for when I think she’s being a bad parent. | 提示我觉得她的教育方法不好 |
| [04:08] | You hear that, Franklin? | 你听见了吗 富兰克林 |
| [04:10] | I got sprung from Dr. Ellie’s class. | 我不用再去埃莉医生的班了 |
| [04:12] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [04:13] | Well, Dr. Ellie’s class is for Special Education, | 埃莉医生的班是特殊教育班 |
| [04:16] | and I guess they think I’m better. | 我猜他们觉得我好了 |
| [04:18] | Special Education? I thought it was Home Ec. | 特殊教育 我还以为是家政学 |
| [04:20] | Why did you think it was Home Ec? | 你为什么以为是家政学 |
| [04:21] | It’s a long story. | 说来话长 |
| [04:23] | My mom told me it was Home Ec. | 我妈告诉我是家政学 |
| [04:25] | I guess it wasn’t a long story. | 看来也不是那么长 |
| [04:29] | Is Taylor helping you guys clean? | 泰勒在帮你们洗车吗 |
| [04:31] | Yeah, I’m out here washing the back. | 对 我在后面洗呢 |
| [04:36] | Taylor! Stop! | 泰勒 停下 |
| [04:37] | You can’t use scouring powder on a car! | 你不能在车上用抛光粉 |
| [04:40] | Why? Everything’s coming off. | 为什么 一切都洗下来了 |
| [04:44] | Including the paint! | 包括油漆 |
| [04:46] | Taylor, I swear — | 泰勒 我发誓 |
| [04:48] | No, you know what? Katie, this one is on us. | 不 知道吗 凯蒂 这是我们的错 |
| [04:50] | She’s 18 years old, | 她18岁了 |
| [04:51] | and apparently, we’ve taught her no common sense. | 但显然 我们没教会她任何常识 |
| [04:53] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [04:54] | When your child is a year away from leaving home | 当你孩子还有一年就要自立时 |
| [04:55] | and is this clueless, | 还这么糊里糊涂 |
| [04:56] | the only ones to blame are the parents. | 确实应该怪家长 |
| [04:58] | Oh, good. So I’m not in trouble. | 好极了 那我没惹麻烦 |
| [05:00] | Should I keep going? | 我应该继续吗 |
| [05:01] | I had one glass of wine in my third trimester, | 我只是在怀孕末期喝了一杯酒 |
| [05:04] | and here we are. | 结果就这样了 |
| [05:11] | We took our eyes off of our oldest for half an hour, | 老大才离开我们的视线半小时 |
| [05:14] | and this is what happens. | 就发生了这种事 |
| [05:16] | Who knows what trouble Anna-Kat will get into | 谁知道安娜凯特在没人照顾时 |
| [05:18] | without someone looking after her. | 会惹出什么样的麻烦 |
| [05:20] | Anna-Kat is gonna be fine. | 安娜凯特会没事的 |
| [05:22] | The more pressing matter is Taylor. | 更紧要的问题是泰勒 |
| [05:24] | She just knocked $1,200 off the value of a $1,500 car. | 她刚把一辆1500块的车搞得只值300块 |
| [05:27] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [05:28] | If we are gonna move into a new era, | 如果我们要进入新时代 |
| [05:30] | then we need to make sure she does, too. | 就需要确保她也进入新时代才行 |
| [05:32] | We should make a list of the things she needs to know | 我们应该做一张清单 列出她要成为健全人 |
| [05:34] | – to be a fully functioning person in the world. – Yeah. | -所需要知道的事情 -对 |
| [05:36] | Just off the top of my head… | 我第一个想到的是… |
| [05:38] | I would say, do laundry. | 我觉得是洗衣服 |
| [05:41] | Unclog a toilet. | 通马桶 |
| [05:43] | Sew on a button… | 缝纽扣 |
| [05:44] | How to shake out your hair | 如何在脱下 |
| [05:45] | after taking off a motorcycle helmet. | 摩托车头盔后甩秀发 |
| [05:49] | What? It’s important. | 怎么了 这很重要 |
| [05:51] | Shake, shake, turn, wink. | 甩 甩 转 眨眼 |
| [05:55] | We might have failed Taylor until now, | 对于泰勒我们的教育一直不到位 |
| [05:57] | but it’s not too late to get her on track. | 但现在让她回归正轨还不晚 |
| [05:59] | We blew this assignment off for way too many years. | 这门作业我们已经不及格太久 |
| [06:01] | It’s time to cram. | 是时候临时抱佛脚了 |
| [06:02] | Follow my lead, Greg. | 听我的 格雷格 |
| [06:03] | This is where people | 现在就是 |
| [06:04] | who half-assed their way through college shine. | 挺过一半大学时光的人 大放光彩的时候了 |
| [06:09] | Anna-Kat, I am so proud of you | 安娜凯特 我为你从埃莉医生的课上毕业 |
| [06:12] | for graduating Dr. Ellie’s class. | 感到特别骄傲 |
| [06:14] | And to honor the occasion, I got you a present. | 为了嘉奖这件事 我给你买了礼物 |
| [06:18] | I love it. | 我好喜欢 |
| [06:19] | Now whenever you check the time, you’ll think of me. | 不管你什么时候看时间 你都会想起我 |
| [06:22] | I will always be with you. | 我会一直在你身边 |
| [06:25] | Does it do anything else, like text or go on the Internet? | 它有什么别的功能吗 比如发短信或者上网 |
| [06:28] | No. | 没有 |
| [06:28] | Just a watch to remind you of Mommy. | 只是一块让你想起妈妈的表 |
| [06:31] | So it’s a watch that only tells time? | 所以这是一块只能看时间的表 |
| [06:34] | And a fond reminder of Mommy. | 还能让你深情地想起妈妈 |
| [06:38] | Alright. | 好吧 |
| [06:39] | See you guys at my ballet recital. | 我们芭蕾表演见 |
| [06:41] | Where are you going? We’re all driving together. | 你要去哪 我们要一起开车去 |
| [06:43] | I’m never riding in that thing again. | 我再也不要坐这个玩意了 |
| [06:45] | Before, it was embarrassing, but now we’re no better | 以前就很尴尬 但现在我们还不如 |
| [06:46] | than that guy who sells empanadas out of his trunk. | 那个在后备厢卖肉馅饼的家伙 |
| [06:48] | Oh, they’re so good. His abuela makes them. | 那肉馅饼太好吃了 是他奶奶做的 |
| [06:51] | Let’s go. We’re gonna be late. | 我们走吧 要迟到了 |
| [06:52] | Uh, where are my bravo flowers? | 我的喝彩花束在哪里 |
| [06:55] | Your what? | 你的什么 |
| [06:55] | My bravo flowers. | 我的喝彩花束 |
| [06:57] | The flowers you throw on stage to me when you shout “Bravo.” | 就是当你们为我喝彩时扔上台的花束 |
| [06:59] | It was in the e-mail I sent you | 它写在我发给你的那封 |
| [07:01] | about what to do at my performance. | 在我表演时该怎么做的邮件里了 |
| [07:03] | It was right under “Don’t wear pajamas.” | 就在”别穿睡衣”下面 |
| [07:04] | Yeah, well, I have you set up to go straight to junk mail. | 好吧 我把你设置成了垃圾邮件 |
| [07:06] | Mom, the Fairfield Gazette is gonna be there. | 妈妈 《费尔菲尔德报》会去现场 |
| [07:08] | A real review is important for my college portfolio. | 一条真实的评论对我申请大学很重要 |
| [07:11] | So I’m riding my bike and I’m picking up my own bouquet | 所以我要自己骑车去买自己的 |
| [07:13] | with a high rose-to-baby’s-breath ratio. | 多玫瑰少满天星的花束了 |
| [07:18] | We are not bringing snotty Oliver into the new era. | 我们不要带臭屁的奥利弗进入新时代 |
| [07:21] | I thought he’d grow out of it, but he’s only getting worse. | 我以为他长大了 但他只变得越来越糟 |
| [07:23] | I guess the dangers of eating sushi in your second trimester | 我想在怀孕中期吃寿司的危险 |
| [07:26] | wasn’t just an old wives’ tale. | 不只是无稽之谈 |
| [07:27] | You never read any of those pregnancy books I gave you. | 你从来没读过我给你的怀孕书籍 |
| [07:30] | Of course not, Greg. | 当然没有 格雷格 |
| [07:39] | Oliver’s recital starts in 10 minutes, | 奥利弗的表演十分钟后就开始了 |
| [07:40] | and he’s still not here yet. | 他还没到 |
| [07:42] | Do you have those empanadas with the raisins today? | 你今天有加葡萄干的肉馅饼吗 |
| [07:44] | We’re not that guy. | 我们不是那个人 |
| [07:48] | So, Oliver is going to miss his own recital | 所以奥利弗要错过他自己的表演了 |
| [07:49] | because he’s a snob. | 就因为他是个势利眼 |
| [07:51] | He better be lying in a ditch somewhere. | 他最好是掉哪个沟里了 |
| [07:54] | It’s a saying. | 这是种说法 |
| [08:03] | You okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [08:04] | Yeah, I just lost my balance. I’m a little banged up. | 还好 我只是失去了平衡 受了点伤 |
| [08:07] | Can I give you a ride somewhere? | 需要我载你一程吗 |
| [08:09] | No, thanks. | 不了 谢谢 |
| [08:09] | I’ll wait for a Mercedes or better to drive by. | 我要等一辆奔驰或者更好的车经过 |
| [08:23] | This is no big deal. | 这没什么大不了 |
| [08:24] | I’m gonna walk this thing off and get back to ballet ASAP. | 我走着走着就没事了 很快就能回去跳芭蕾 |
| [08:27] | Honey, the doctor said you tore your ACL. | 亲爱的 医生说你撕裂了前十字韧带 |
| [08:29] | You can’t dance for six to eight months. | 你接下来六到八个月都不能跳舞了 |
| [08:32] | If I miss ballet recruitment season, | 如果我错过了芭蕾招新季 |
| [08:33] | I’ll never get into Harvard. | 我就再也进不了哈佛了 |
| [08:34] | I’ll just pop my knee back into place. | 我要把我的膝盖再扳回原位 |
| [08:36] | Dad, give me your wallet to bite down on. | 爸 把你的钱包给我咬着 |
| [08:38] | Never mind. It’s probably pleather. I’ll just gut it out. | 算了 你钱包大概是假皮的 我就忍着吧 |
| [08:41] | Honey, I’m so sorry, | 亲爱的 我很遗憾 |
| [08:42] | but you’re going to have to put ballet | 但是你得把芭蕾 |
| [08:44] | on the back burner for a while. | 搁置一段时间了 |
| [08:45] | There are other extracurricular activities you can do | 你还有别的课外活动可以参加 |
| [08:48] | that’ll help you get into Harvard. | 能帮你进入哈佛 |
| [08:49] | All you need is a plan B. | 你只需要一个后备方案 |
| [08:51] | But I put so much time into ballet. | 但我为芭蕾付出了那么多时间 |
| [08:54] | What am I gonna do now? | 我现在要怎么办 |
| [08:57] | You’ll figure it out. | 你会搞明白的 |
| [08:58] | You can do this. You’re an Otto! | 你可以做到的 你是奥图家的人 |
| [09:01] | You’re right. I am an Otto. | 你说得对 我是奥图家的人 |
| [09:03] | There you go. | 这样就对了 |
| [09:04] | Look at you, leaving the old Oliver behind | 瞧瞧你 抛弃了过去的奥利弗 |
| [09:07] | and coming into the new era. | 进入了一个新时代 |
| [09:09] | My whole life, I’ve been living with the deficit | 我这一生都在忍受着逆境 |
| [09:10] | of being born into this family, | 那就是出生在这个家里 |
| [09:12] | and yet I thrive. | 然而我却茁壮成长 |
| [09:14] | I’m like one of those Brazilian orphans | 我就像那些巴西孤儿中的一员 |
| [09:15] | who was raised in a landfill and starts his own shoe company. | 在垃圾堆里长大 却开起了自己的鞋厂 |
| [09:18] | You’re about to be one of those kids in a coma | 你马上要成为那种被监狱妈妈 |
| [09:19] | with a mother in jail. | 打成昏迷的小孩了 |
| [09:23] | Maybe we can add “Fixing Oliver” | 也许我们可以把”改造奥利弗” |
| [09:25] | to Taylor’s list. | 加入泰勒的清单 |
| [09:26] | No, we have to do it ourselves. | 不 这件事我们得自己来 |
| [09:27] | But we suck at it. | 但我们太弱了 |
| [09:29] | It’s like when we tried to sleep-train Anna-Kat | 就像那时我们想训练安娜凯特睡觉 |
| [09:31] | and you ended up crashing in her crib every night. | 结果你每天晚上都睡在了她的摇篮里 |
| [09:33] | That “Wonder Pets” mobile was hypnotic, | 那个”神奇宠物”风铃太催眠了 |
| [09:35] | and I can’t believe you’re bringing that up right now! | 我不敢相信你现在要提起那件事 |
| [09:37] | You’re right. We can’t turn on each other. | 你说得对 我们不能互相攻击 |
| [09:39] | United front. | 统一战线 |
| [09:47] | What’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [09:48] | It’s a list of all the things you need to learn how to do | 这是一张清单 列出了你在搬出这个家之前 |
| [09:51] | before you move out of the house. | 需要学会的所有事情 |
| [09:52] | Is this a joke?! | 这是在开玩笑吗 |
| [09:54] | “How to light a pilot light. How to reset a fuse box. | “如何点燃引火火苗 如何重置保险丝盒 |
| [09:57] | How to defrost a freezer”?! | 如何解冻冷柜” |
| [09:58] | You will learn to become self-sufficient. | 你会学习成为自力更生的人 |
| [10:01] | I am not doing this. | 我不要做这个 |
| [10:02] | That is your choice. | 这是你的选择 |
| [10:04] | But if this list isn’t done | 但如果这张清单 |
| [10:06] | by the night of your senior prom, | 没有在你毕业舞会那天晚上前完成 |
| [10:08] | then you’re staying home with me | 那你就要陪我留在家里 |
| [10:09] | and watching “Dirty Dancing.” | 一起看《辣身舞》 |
| [10:11] | I told you before, I refuse to watch that. | 我和你说过了 我不要看那个 |
| [10:13] | I don’t like movies from the 1880s. | 我不喜欢19世纪80年代的电影 |
| [10:14] | 1980s. | 是20世纪80年代 |
| [10:16] | Same thing! | 都一样 |
| [10:17] | This is so unfair! This list is huge! | 这太不公平了 这个清单条目也太多了 |
| [10:19] | I’ll never be able to get it done in a year! | 我一年后都不可能完成 |
| [10:22] | It’s too much! I’m totally screwed! | 真的太多了 我完蛋了 |
| [10:24] | Oh, honey. It’s okay. | 宝贝 没事的 |
| [10:26] | Yeah, we can… take some things off. | 是啊 我们可以删掉一些东西 |
| [10:30] | Number 12 — “How to cry to get out of stuff.” | 第12条 “如何通过哭泣来逃避做事” |
| [10:33] | I don’t need this list, dudes. I’m good. | 我不需要这清单 老爹老妈 我不需要 |
| [10:37] | That’s 1 of 78, Taylor! | 那只是1/78 泰勒 |
| [10:38] | That may fly on your math test, | 那在你的数学考试上或许没事 |
| [10:40] | but not here! | 但在这个家不行 |
| [10:44] | We’re struggling a bit with Taylor and Oliver, | 泰勒和奥利弗现在变得不服管教 |
| [10:46] | so I am not going to take my eye off Anna-Kat. | 所以我一定要紧紧盯牢安娜凯特 |
| [10:50] | Angela, thank you for the watch. | 安吉拉 谢谢你给我那个手表 |
| [10:52] | My pleasure. | 乐意之至 |
| [10:53] | What watch? | 什么手表 |
| [10:54] | How come this is the first I’m hearing about a watch? | 为什么这是我第一次听说手表的事 |
| [10:56] | You were there when we discussed it. | 我们讨论这事的时候你也在场啊 |
| [10:57] | You said it was a great idea. | 你当时还说这是个好主意 |
| [10:59] | Oh, I have got to stop taking Ambien. | 我不能再服用安眠药了 |
| [11:01] | I’m losing half of my life! | 我失去我一半的生活了 |
| [11:03] | Once again, | 再说一次 |
| [11:04] | I lent Katie a spy watch | 我借给凯蒂一块监控手表 |
| [11:05] | that listens in on you | 可以监听你的一切活动 |
| [11:06] | that an ex gave me. | 那是我前任送我的 |
| [11:07] | Why would an ex give you that? | 你前任为什么要送你那个 |
| [11:09] | We went over that, too. | 这个问题我们也谈过了 |
| [11:10] | Oh, wait, I remember. | 等等 我想起来了 |
| [11:12] | You were cheating with that woman who stole your identity, | 你跟那个窃取了你的身份的女人出轨了 |
| [11:15] | then bought that bed-and-breakfast in Belize with your credit card. | 然后用信用卡买下了伯利兹的民宿 |
| [11:18] | Barb. | 芭布 |
| [11:19] | I’m happy Anna-Kat moved on from Dr. Ellie’s, | 我很高兴安娜凯特已经从埃莉医生那里翻篇了 |
| [11:21] | but if I can’t have an extra pair of eyes on her, | 但如果我无法多出一双眼睛来盯着她 |
| [11:23] | at least I can have an extra pair of ears. | 至少我可以多出一双耳朵来监听她 |
| [11:27] | Okay, Franklin, | 好了 富兰克林 |
| [11:28] | would you rather eat monkey brains or a cow’s heart? | 你是更愿意吃猴脑还是牛心呢 |
| [11:31] | I’d rather eat a worm. | 我宁愿吃虫子 |
| [11:33] | That wasn’t one of the choices. | 但这不在选项中 |
| [11:34] | I know, but I’ve been trying to find a good time | 我知道 但我一直想找个合适的时机 |
| [11:36] | to tell you that I sometimes eat worms. | 告诉你 我有时候会吃虫子 |
| [11:39] | Okay. Nothing to worry about yet. | 好吧 暂时还没有什么需要担心的 |
| [11:42] | Two nights ago, I woke up at a poker table at the Mohegan Sun, | 两晚前 我在金神赌场酒店的扑克牌桌边醒来 |
| [11:44] | and I have no idea how I got there. | 但我不知道我是怎么会去那里的 |
| [11:49] | I might have a problem. | 我或许真的出大问题了 |
| [11:50] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [11:57] | Hey, where’d you get that watch? | 话说 你从哪儿弄到这手表的 |
| [11:59] | My mom gave it to me when I graduated from Dr. Ellie’s class. | 我从埃莉医生的班上毕业时 我妈送我的 |
| [12:03] | It’s a spy watch. She can hear everything we’re saying. | 这是监控手表 她能听到我们说的任何话 |
| [12:06] | How do you know? | 你怎么知道 |
| [12:07] | My mom put one on me last year when she found out | 我妈去年在我身上装了一个 因为她发现 |
| [12:09] | I was crawling through our neighbor’s doggie door | 我从邻居家的狗洞钻进去 |
| [12:10] | to use their steam shower. | 使用他们家的蒸汽淋浴房 |
| [12:12] | It’s a small detail | 虽然那只是个小设备 |
| [12:13] | that can really add value to a house. | 但却极大地提升了房子的价值 |
| [12:16] | I can’t believe it. | 我简直不敢相信 |
| [12:18] | She doesn’t think I’m okay on my own. | 她竟然觉得我一个人不行 |
| [12:21] | Well, I’ll show her. | 我要让她见识下 |
| [12:22] | So, what are we thinking? | 所以 有什么想法 |
| [12:23] | Catfish her, trick her to flying to Indiana? | 给她编个假身份 骗她飞去印第安纳州 |
| [12:26] | No. I’m just gonna mess with her head. | 不 我要搅乱她的大脑 |
| [12:28] | Look at you, being all normal. | 瞧瞧你 行为这么”正常” |
| [12:30] | They were right to spring you from Special Ed. | 他们将你从特殊教育撤出来是对的 |
| [12:32] | I’m proud of you, kid. | 我为你骄傲 小姑娘 |
| [12:37] | What’s for breakfast? | 早餐吃什么 |
| [12:38] | Eggs. | 鸡蛋 |
| [12:39] | Yum! I’ll have scrambled. | 棒 我要吃炒蛋 |
| [12:41] | Look at number 20 on your list. | 看看你清单上的第20条 |
| [12:44] | I lost the list. | 我把清单丢了 |
| [12:47] | You made copies? | 你竟然复印了 |
| [12:49] | Double-sided. | 双面的哦 |
| [12:50] | And laminated. | 还压膜了哦 |
| [12:52] | Oh, look! I’m dipping it in my coffee. | 瞧 我把它放进咖啡里蘸蘸也没事 |
| [12:54] | Yes, you’re really getting your money’s worth out of your laminator. | 是啊 你这个压膜机买得可”真值” |
| [12:57] | And if I ever need to return it… | 如果我需要把它退回去 |
| [13:00] | I have the receipt. | 我还留着收据呢 |
| [13:01] | Laminated. | 也压膜了哦 |
| [13:03] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:04] | Number 20 — how to cook an egg. | 第20条 怎么做鸡蛋 |
| [13:06] | Easy. | 简单 |
| [13:16] | Oh, there you go. | 这很正确 |
| [13:21] | – Stop! – Stop! | -打住 -打住 |
| [13:26] | Bon appetite. | 祝你们好胃口 |
| [13:28] | These aren’t edible. | 这没法儿吃啊 |
| [13:30] | It’s an egg, it’s cooked. It counts. | 这是鸡蛋 已经熟了 所以也算数 |
| [13:32] | Mark it off the list. | 把这条从清单上划掉 |
| [13:36] | When is she going to learn | 她什么时候才能明白 |
| [13:37] | that she can’t be a screw-up her whole life? | 她不能一辈子都这么废物 |
| [13:40] | I’m going to edit the list. | 我要把清单修改一下 |
| [13:41] | I’m going to make it “Cook an edible egg.” | 我要改成”烹饪出能吃的鸡蛋” |
| [13:50] | This is Oliver’s computer. | 这是奥利弗的电脑 |
| [13:52] | While I’m here, I might as well take a look around. | 既然已经打开了 不如看一圈吧 |
| [13:54] | How do you know his password? | 你怎么知道他的密码 |
| [13:56] | Stop it. | 得了吧 |
| [14:04] | Oh, no. | 不好 |
| [14:07] | – Oh, my God. – Okay. | -我的天呐 -好吧 |
| [14:10] | Really? | 不是吧 |
| [14:12] | Leave it to Oliver to create | 就让奥利弗来创造 |
| [14:13] | our very own Otto family college admissions scandal. | 奥图家族的大学入学作弊丑闻吧 |
| [14:16] | I’d feel better about this new Otto era | 如果换个孩子来制造这个丑闻 |
| [14:18] | if we were going into it with different kids. | 那我的心里可能还会好受些 |
| [14:32] | Looking for this? | 在找这个吗 |
| [14:33] | Hey, gimme that! | 快给我 |
| [14:34] | We saw your little Photoshop project. | 我们看到了你的”P图大计” |
| [14:36] | Oliver, you’re not cheating your way into Harvard. | 奥利弗 你不能靠作弊进哈佛 |
| [14:38] | You know, it’s the parents who end up going to jail in these scandals. | 如果出现这种丑闻 进监狱的会是父母 |
| [14:41] | Yeah, but, Mom, think about it. | 好吧 妈 你仔细想想 |
| [14:43] | In prison, no kids, you have your own sink, | 在监狱里 没孩子烦你 你会有专属水槽 |
| [14:45] | they do laundry for you. | 衣服也有专门的人洗 |
| [14:47] | And you still look pretty good. | 并且你风韵犹存 |
| [14:48] | I bet you’d fetch quite the prison wife. | 我相信你肯定能找到一个好的狱中娇妻 |
| [14:50] | He’s not wrong. | 他倒是没说错 |
| [14:51] | Guys, I’m a sophomore. I’m out of time. | 爹妈 我高二了 我没时间了 |
| [14:53] | I have to cut corners. | 我必须走捷径 |
| [14:54] | We really believed you when you said | 你之前说的那些话 我们可是信你了 |
| [14:56] | you were picking yourself up off the mat | 你说你要振作起来 |
| [14:58] | and finding another path. | 重新找到一条人生道路 |
| [14:59] | I was, but then I realized | 我是那么想的 但后来意识到 |
| [15:00] | it’s not possible to start over now. | 现在要重新开始简直不可能 |
| [15:02] | You still have excellent grades. | 你的成绩还是很好啊 |
| [15:04] | That’s not enough anymore. | 这年头那已经不够了 |
| [15:05] | God, you’re so old! | 天呐 你们也太过时了 |
| [15:06] | You have to have a 4.8 GPA, play six sports, | 如今你的绩点要达到4.8 会玩六种运动项目 |
| [15:09] | and discover a new language | 发现一门新语言 |
| [15:10] | to get into a decent college these days. | 才能上一个好大学 |
| [15:12] | We are not going to let you cheat your way into college! | 我们绝不会允许你靠作弊进入大学的 |
| [15:17] | I guess I’ll just have a horrible life. | 那看来我只能度过凄惨的一生了 |
| [15:19] | Go to Cornell, make low six figures, | 去康奈尔大学 拿着六位数的低工资 |
| [15:21] | and join a country club | 加入一个乡村俱乐部 |
| [15:22] | where I’ll only have a social membership | 但却只有社交会员的身份 |
| [15:24] | because I can’t afford golf and tennis privileges. | 就因为我付不起打高尔夫和网球的会费 |
| [15:27] | If you think that’s a horrible life, | 如果你认为那种生活很糟糕 |
| [15:29] | then you have no idea what a horrible life is. | 那你根本不知道糟糕的生活是什么样子 |
| [15:33] | You should go to a homeless shelter someday | 你应该找一天去流浪汉收容所 |
| [15:35] | and see how those people have to live. | 看看他们过着什么生活 |
| [15:36] | Not someday — today. | 择日不如撞日 就今天吧 |
| [15:39] | You are gonna get your snobby ass | 你这个势利鬼给我滚去 |
| [15:40] | down to a homeless shelter and get some perspective. | 无家可归者收容所 长长见识 |
| [15:42] | And you’re going in the minivan. | 而且你只能开那辆小面包去 |
| [15:50] | What are you doing now? | 你现在是在干什么 |
| [15:52] | I’m having a nice moment with my mind family. | 我正跟我幻想出来的家人享受温馨一刻 |
| [15:54] | We’re all wearing clothes that fit | 我们都穿着合身的衣服 |
| [15:56] | and celebrating each other’s ambitions. | 彼此赞颂对方的梦想 |
| [16:00] | Hey, Franklin. Knock-knock. | 富兰克林 敲敲门 |
| [16:02] | Who’s there? | 谁啊 |
| [16:03] | Your smelly butt. | 你的臭屁屁 |
| [16:06] | Never not funny. | 每次都这么好笑 |
| [16:07] | I’m still not comfortable with you spying on Anna-Kat. | 我还是不太认同你监视安娜凯特 |
| [16:09] | Well, I’m not comfortable with your new black underpants. | 我也不太认同你新买的那条黑裤子 |
| [16:12] | I can wash them with my jeans! | 那条可以跟我的牛仔裤一起洗耶 |
| [16:15] | Hey, did you bring that beer | 我叫你从家里偷拿的啤酒 |
| [16:16] | I told you to swipe from your house? | 你带来了吗 |
| [16:18] | Yeah, I got it. | 嗯 带了 |
| [16:19] | Did you steal that money from your mom for cigarettes? | 买烟的钱你从你妈那偷到了吗 |
| [16:22] | We can go out to the woods after school tomorrow | 我们明天放学后可以到树林里 |
| [16:24] | and try them. | 试试这些东西 |
| [16:27] | And the janitor’s gonna meet us there, right? | 清洁工会去那里和我们会合 对吧 |
| [16:29] | Of course. | 当然 |
| [16:30] | He said we could take a ride in his van afterwards, too. | 他还说事后我们可以搭他的货车去兜风 |
| [16:39] | We need to talk. | 我们得谈谈 |
| [16:40] | Yes, we do. | 是没错 |
| [16:41] | We have a few questions for you. | 我们有几个问题要问你 |
| [16:43] | What a coincidence. | 真是巧了 |
| [16:44] | I have some questions for you, as well. | 我也有几个问题要问你们 |
| [16:47] | I was sure we had the upper hand in this conversation, | 我本来很确定这场对话我们占上风 |
| [16:48] | but it really doesn’t feel that way. | 但感觉真的不是那么回事 |
| [16:50] | So, do you guys want to continue this conversation face-to-face, | 那你们想当面和我继续谈 |
| [16:54] | or should I just talk into my watch?! | 还是要我对着手表说 |
| [16:56] | Damn! | 靠 |
| [16:57] | Why would you guys do that? | 你们为什么要那么做 |
| [16:58] | Don’t you trust me? | 你们不信任我吗 |
| [16:59] | Oh, honey, it has nothing to do with trust. | 宝贝 这跟信任完全无关 |
| [17:03] | We’re just worried there’s less people | 现在关照你的人少了 |
| [17:05] | to keep an eye on you now. | 我们有点担心而已 |
| [17:07] | Mom, Dad… | 妈妈 爸爸 |
| [17:09] | I realize that me moving on from Dr. Ellie’s class | 我意识到 从埃莉医生的课上毕业 |
| [17:13] | isn’t just a big change for me. | 不止对我来说是巨大改变 |
| [17:15] | It’s a big change for you, too. | 对你们也是巨大的改变 |
| [17:17] | But I can’t let your worries hold me back. | 但我不能让你们的担心阻碍我 |
| [17:21] | Do you want that? | 你们希望那样吗 |
| [17:23] | – No. – No. | -不 -不 |
| [17:24] | If you ever feel these worries again, | 如果以后你们再有这种担心 |
| [17:26] | I want you both to come to me, and we can work it out. | 我希望你们能直接来找我 我们一起解决 |
| [17:29] | No more tricks, okay? | 别再耍花招 好吗 |
| [17:31] | – Okay. – Okay. | -好啦 -好吧 |
| [17:33] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, | 那我先失陪了 |
| [17:34] | I’m gonna have Google translate | 我要用谷歌翻译 |
| [17:35] | the word “booger” into several languages. | 把”鼻屎”翻成几国语言 |
| [17:43] | She just brought us into her new era. | 她刚这是把我们拉进她的新时代了 |
| [17:47] | You can cross two more things off your list. | 你们可以划掉清单上两项待完成任务了 |
| [17:48] | I drove Oliver to the homeless shelter, | 我载奥利弗去了无家可归者收容所 |
| [17:50] | so I learned how to put others before myself, | 所以我学会了把他人摆在第一位 |
| [17:53] | and I let a hobo braid my hair. | 我还让一个流浪汉帮我编头发 |
| [17:56] | Write that on the list and then just cross it off. | 把那项也写进清单 然后划掉吧 |
| [18:00] | So… | 那… |
| [18:01] | how did it go at the shelter? | 收容所看得怎么样了 |
| [18:03] | You were right. Going down there really opened my eyes. | 你说得对 去那里真的让我长了见识 |
| [18:06] | To the fact that you’re extremely fortunate | 你看清你非常幸运 |
| [18:08] | and other people have harder lives than you? | 而其他人都比你过得艰苦了吗 |
| [18:11] | You’re funny. No. | 你真逗 并没有 |
| [18:13] | I learned the way I’m gonna get into Harvard | 我认识到 我想进入哈佛 |
| [18:14] | is by doing a ton of community service. | 就得做很多社会服务 |
| [18:16] | I’m gonna trick them into thinking I’m a good person. | 我要让他们误以为我是个好人 |
| [18:18] | I’m back on track, baby. | 我重回正轨了 |
| [18:20] | My dilemma is which one to choose. | 唯一的烦恼是该选哪一个 |
| [18:22] | Big Brothers, Meals on Wheels, | 大哥会 送餐到府 |
| [18:24] | Habitat for Humanity. | 仁人家园 |
| [18:26] | I just have to pick the one with the most prestige | 我只要选最有声望 |
| [18:28] | and takes the least effort. | 又最省力的那一个 |
| [18:30] | Well, I guess, for the moment, | 目前来说 |
| [18:31] | you doing the right thing for the wrong reasons | 你为错误的理由做正确的事 |
| [18:33] | is the best we can hope for. | 已经是我们所能期望的最好结果了 |
| [18:36] | It really is, guys. | 确实如此 |
| [18:41] | – Okay. – Alright. | -好了 -好咧 |
| [18:45] | I decided to knock a bunch of things | 我决定一次就划掉 |
| [18:47] | off your dumb list all at once. | 你那破清单上的几项 |
| [18:49] | Number 40 — | 第40条 |
| [18:50] | “Take responsibility for your own actions.” | “为自己的行为负责” |
| [18:52] | I messed up the minivan, so I fixed it. | 我搞坏了小面包车 所以我把它修好了 |
| [18:55] | That’s great! | 太棒了 |
| [18:56] | How? | 怎么修的 |
| [18:57] | I called a bunch of auto body shops, | 我联系了几家汽修店 |
| [18:59] | and I found the cheapest one. | 然后找到了最便宜的一家 |
| [19:00] | Number 17 — “Be frugal.” | 第17条 “勤俭节约” |
| [19:02] | And I also figured out | 我还想到 |
| [19:03] | how to get that gross smell out of there. | 消除车上臭味的办法了 |
| [19:05] | Number 5 — “Take initiative.” | 第5条 “积极主动” |
| [19:07] | Wow, Taylor. We’re very impressed. | 泰勒 你真厉害啊 |
| [19:10] | How did you get rid of the smell? | 你怎么除去臭味的 |
| [19:12] | That stank was in there, man. | 那味道是从车里散发出来的 |
| [19:13] | I lit those scented candles you got from work. | 我点了你从上班地方带回来的香薰蜡烛 |
| [19:16] | You…put lit candles in the car? | 你把点燃的蜡烛放车上了 |
| [19:18] | Yeah. And they’re still going. | 对 现在还在烧呢 |
| [19:19] | It’s been about three hours. | 已经烧了三小时了 |
| [19:21] | Number 77 — “Learn to tell time.” | 第77条 “学会看表” |
| [19:24] | Oh, no, no, no! | 糟了 糟了 |
| [19:26] | – No! No! – Taylor, what did you do?! | -不 不 -泰勒 你干了什么好事啊 |
| [19:30] | Taylor! | 泰勒 |
| [19:40] | Some people charge into the new era. | 有些人昂首冲进新时代 |
| [19:43] | Some slowly limp forward. | 有些人蹒跚着前行 |
| [19:45] | Some may never get there. | 有些人可能永远都到不了 |
| [19:48] | This is so bad. | 完蛋了 |
| [19:50] | I’ve got to make a real change. | 我得做出真正的改变 |
| [19:52] | I have to stop being such a screw-up. | 不能再当个废物了 |
| [19:54] | Then again, maybe they will. | 不过 也许他们还是能做到的 |
| [19:59] | I’m…here to check on the minivan for sale. | 我来看待售的那辆面包车 |
| [20:02] | There is some wiggle room on the price. | 还是有讲价余地的 |
| [20:14] | Well, I just finalized the minivan sale. | 我刚把卖小面包的事定下来了 |
| [20:17] | 250 bucks. | 250块 |
| [20:19] | That’s all we got for it? | 我们只能赚到这么点钱吗 |
| [20:20] | “We”? That’s what I paid the guy to haul away that piece of crap. | 什么”我们” 那是我请人拖走那垃圾所花的钱 |
| [20:24] | I still remember the day we brought it home. | 我还记得把它开回家的那一天 |
| [20:32] | Mom! | 妈妈 |
| [20:34] | Mommy! | 妈妈 |
| [20:40] | That’s…not how I remember it. | 我记得并不是那样 |
| [20:46] | Mom! | 妈妈 |
| [20:48] | Mommy! | 妈妈 |
| [20:56] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [20:58] | So, in your version, you look like Alex Landi? | 所以在你记忆中 你长得像型男艾利克斯·兰迪吗 |
| [21:00] | I like to tell a story accurately. | 我喜欢精准地还原故事 |
| [21:06] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [21:07] | I love you, too, sweetie. | 我也爱你 亲爱的 |