| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | How’s my favorite party planner? | 我最爱的派对策划人还好吗 |
| [00:06] | Party planner? | 派对策划人 |
| [00:07] | I’m an event coordinator, Greg. | 我是活动协调人 格雷格 |
| [00:10] | The people in my industry have worked tirelessly | 我们这行的人不知疲倦地工作 |
| [00:12] | to shed that label that diminishes us. | 就是为了摆脱蔑视我们的标签 |
| [00:14] | You called yourself a party planner at work | 你在工作时管自己叫派对策划人 |
| [00:15] | and someone yelled at you? | 有人吼你 |
| [00:16] | Oh, yeah. Big-time. | 对 大吼特吼 |
| [00:18] | What’s all this? | 这是做什么 |
| [00:19] | Well, now that we’re both working, | 现在我俩都工作了 |
| [00:20] | no one’s here during the day to take Luthor out. | 白天没人带卢瑟出去 |
| [00:23] | I tried teaching him to use the toilet. | 我试着教它上厕所 |
| [00:25] | That didn’t go great. | 情况不好 |
| [00:26] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [00:27] | Just relax. | 放轻松 |
| [00:30] | Think about pee-pee. | 想着尿尿 |
| [00:35] | Now he can take himself outside | 现在它可以自己出去 |
| [00:36] | and you can focus on work. | 你可以专心工作 |
| [00:37] | Speaking of work, | 说到工作 |
| [00:39] | I have to go to my boss’ apartment in New York tomorrow. | 我必须明天去老板在纽约的家 |
| [00:41] | – She summoned me. – Summoned? | -她传召我 -传召 |
| [00:44] | Whitney needs to talk to you in her office right away! | 惠特尼要在办公室马上和你说话 |
| [00:46] | Oh, my God! I’m finally going to meet her! | 我的天 我终于能见到她了 |
| [00:49] | Let’s go. | 我们走 |
| [00:50] | Let’s go. | 我们走 |
| [00:52] | Let’s go. Come on. | 我们走 快 |
| [00:53] | Come on. | 快 |
| [00:55] | Come on, come on, come on. | 快点 |
| [00:58] | Have a seat. She’ll be in in just a moment. | 坐 她马上就来 |
| [01:09] | Hi, Katie. | 你好 凯蒂 |
| [01:10] | Hi, Whitney. | 你好 惠特尼 |
| [01:11] | I want you to come to my place in New York | 我要你来我纽约的家 |
| [01:13] | for a fun little mandatory meet-and-greet tomorrow night. | 明晚进行有趣的强制性见面会 |
| [01:16] | I’ll tell you where to go. | 我会告诉你地址 |
| [01:18] | Kevin! I want you to leave the room | 凯文 离开房间 |
| [01:20] | while I give Katie the address | 我要给凯蒂地址 |
| [01:21] | because you’ll never be invited! | 因为我永远不会邀请你 |
| [01:28] | Evidently, all new hires are required to go there | 显然 所有新来的员工都要求去那里 |
| [01:30] | and kiss the ring. | 亲吻戒指 |
| [01:32] | Or else. | 否则 |
| [01:33] | – Or else what? – I don’t know. | -否则什么 -我不知道 |
| [01:35] | But it’s never “Or else ice cream cake,” Greg. | 但从来不是否则就是冰淇淋蛋糕 格雷格 |
| [01:37] | Up until now, I’ve been there on a trial basis. | 直到现在 我还在试用阶段 |
| [01:39] | But when you go to New York and kiss the ring, | 但去纽约亲吻戒指后 |
| [01:42] | you’re all in. | 就完全正式了 |
| [01:43] | It’s like I’m being made by the Mafia. | 就像被黑手党接纳了 |
| [01:45] | Don’t worry about the kids. I got them. You go. | 别担心孩子们 有我在 你去 |
| [01:47] | Thank you. You’re a lifesaver. | 谢谢你 你救了我的命 |
| [01:50] | You’ve earned yourself two mistakes | 你为自己赢得了犯两次错误的资格 |
| [01:51] | without me throwing it back in your face | 我不会当面指责你 |
| [01:52] | and doing this. | 而且这样做 |
| [01:55] | Okay, Luthor. Big moment, buddy. | 卢瑟 重要时刻来了 |
| [01:59] | Go on out! | 出去 |
| [02:03] | He’s saving it for later. | 它等下再去 |
| [02:05] | Doesn’t want to live his life all at once. | 不想一下子体验完生活 |
| [02:07] | You got to respect that. | 你得尊重这点 |
| [02:18] | – Hey, Mrs. And Mrs. A. – Hey, Trip. | -A先生A太太 -特里普 |
| [02:20] | Taylor, I think you’re shrinking. | 泰勒 你缩水了 |
| [02:22] | Dad, this is Trip’s jacket. | 爸 这是特里普的外套 |
| [02:23] | Yeah, I know. I was making a joke, but it… | 我知道 我在开玩笑 但… |
| [02:26] | Nobody got it, so I guess | 没人听明白 看来 |
| [02:27] | I was just making a confusing sentence. | 我只是在说令人糊涂的话 |
| [02:29] | How was play rehearsal? | 戏剧彩排怎么样 |
| [02:30] | Oh, I didn’t go today. | 我今天没去 |
| [02:31] | It conflicted with Trip’s schedule. | 和特里普的安排冲突了 |
| [02:33] | Us football girlfriends love to watch our guys practice. | 橄榄球员的女友喜欢看男友练习 |
| [02:36] | Babe, she’s charging. Make yourself look big. | 宝贝 她冲过来了 让自己看起来大个一点 |
| [02:38] | Taylor, you can’t li– | 泰勒 你不能… |
| [02:39] | Agh! Why am I always stepping in the dog water?! | 我为什么总是踩到狗的水 |
| [02:42] | Run! | 跑 |
| [02:44] | Taylor cannot live her life for her boyfriend. | 泰勒不能为了男友生活 |
| [02:47] | That is the road to becoming | 走这条路就会变成 |
| [02:48] | one of these spoiled housewives in this town | 这里被宠坏的家庭主妇 |
| [02:50] | where all these women do is rely on their rich husbands. | 这些女人做的就是依靠自己的有钱老公 |
| [02:53] | Better than the road she’s currently on, | 总比她现在走的路要好 |
| [02:55] | which is straight to Fleer Beauty College | 直接走向美容学校 |
| [02:56] | and a steady diet of Hot Pockets. | 每天吃微波食品 |
| [02:59] | How was school today, baby? | 今天在学校怎么样 宝贝 |
| [03:01] | Mm. School be school. | 学校就是学校 |
| [03:03] | Buenas tardes, Mrs. And Mrs. Otto! | 下午好 奥图先生和太太 |
| [03:05] | Hey, Cooper. How’s it going? | 库珀 你好吗 |
| [03:08] | Ooh. Mrs. Otto, you smell good! | 奥图太太 你真香 |
| [03:11] | What’s the scent you’re wearing? | 喷的什么香水 |
| [03:12] | – 409. – You should try mine. | -409 -你应该试试我的 |
| [03:14] | Clive Christian Imperial Cologne. | 克莱夫·克里斯蒂安帝国香水 |
| [03:16] | Picked it up in Zermatt. | 在策马特买的 |
| [03:18] | It’s for men, but I think you can pull it off. | 男士用的 但我觉得很配你[扯下来] |
| [03:20] | You know what I want to pull off? | 知道我想扯下什么吗 |
| [03:21] | Your arms. | 你的胳膊 |
| [03:22] | You know, over the summer, | 暑假时 |
| [03:24] | I really missed our little repartees. | 我非常想念我们之间的俏皮话 |
| [03:26] | But I bet you really missed Oliver. | 但我打赌你一定很想念奥利弗 |
| [03:30] | Yeah, yeah, they super missed me. | 对 他们非常想念我 |
| [03:32] | Come on, Coop, let’s go to my room. | 来吧 小库 去我房间 |
| [03:34] | Super missed him because he was… | 非常想念他是因为他… |
| [03:37] | Away all summer yachting around the world | 整个夏天和他的姨婆一起坐游艇 |
| [03:40] | with his great-aunt. | 环游世界 |
| [03:41] | Right, with his great-aunt. | 对 和他的姨婆一起 |
| [03:43] | The Duchess of Cadbury. | 凯德伯里公爵夫人 |
| [03:44] | Uh, which one of you is related to her? | 你们谁和她是亲戚 |
| [03:47] | I am. | 我 |
| [03:49] | I love those creamed eggs. | 我喜欢奶油蛋 |
| [03:50] | That makes sense. | 有道理 |
| [03:51] | Cooper, go take a walk around the block. | 库珀 去街上走走 |
| [03:53] | Good idea, Mrs. Otto! | 好主意 奥图太太 |
| [03:55] | That’ll give my new Patek Philippe watch | 这下我新的百达翡丽手表 |
| [03:57] | a chance to wind naturally. | 有机会自然地上发条 |
| [04:01] | Here is Oliver | 这是奥利弗 |
| [04:03] | sailing with the Duchess. | 和公爵夫人出海 |
| [04:04] | Where is this? Italy? | 这是哪里 意大利吗 |
| [04:06] | Santorini. | 圣托里尼 |
| [04:09] | So is that Italy? | 在意大利吗 |
| [04:11] | Greece. | 希腊 |
| [04:13] | You Photoshopped all these? | 你做的假照片 |
| [04:14] | I had to! | 我必须这样做 |
| [04:16] | This is Westport. | 这里是西港 |
| [04:17] | At school, everyone gives a report | 在学校 所有人都做报告 |
| [04:18] | on where they went for vacation. | 讲去哪里度假 |
| [04:20] | Where am I supposed to say I went — no place? | 我要说自己去了哪里 没去吗 |
| [04:22] | We went to Amish Country and made candles. | 我们去阿米什村做了蜡烛 |
| [04:24] | That’s worse than no vacation! | 这比不度假更糟糕 |
| [04:26] | It was a 19th-century adventure. | 那是19世纪冒险 |
| [04:28] | You are getting more superficial by the — | 你变得更肤浅 |
| [04:29] | Anna-Kat is doing something weird. | 安娜凯特在做奇怪的事 |
| [04:33] | She’s using a small bottle of Purell | 她在用小瓶的洗手液 |
| [04:34] | to Purell a larger bottle of Purell. | 清洁大瓶的洗手液 |
| [04:37] | Anything happen at school today that we should know about? | 今天在学校发生了什么应该告诉我们的事 |
| [04:40] | Well, Dr. Ellie is still not back. | 埃莉医生还没回来 |
| [04:43] | Principal Ablin said she has a medical issue, | 阿布林校长说她病了 |
| [04:45] | and he’s been filling in. | 他来代课 |
| [04:46] | Oh, and I am never using the bathroom at school again. | 我再也不会用学校的厕所了 |
| [04:51] | Ever. | 永远不会 |
| [04:52] | We’ve been through this. | 我们说过这个的 |
| [04:53] | The bathrooms at school are totally clean. | 学校的厕所很干净 |
| [04:55] | Are they? | 是吗 |
| [04:56] | Are they, Greg? | 是吗 格雷格 |
| [04:58] | Apparently, you didn’t know hand dryers | 显然 你不知道烘手机 |
| [05:01] | just blow particles of poop | 只是将大便的微粒 |
| [05:03] | back into your face! | 吹回到你的脸上 |
| [05:05] | What? That doesn’t sound right. | 什么 听起来不对 |
| [05:07] | That’s what Principal Ablin said. | 这是阿布林校长说的 |
| [05:10] | And he’s the principal, the king of all teachers. | 他是校长 所有老师的王 |
| [05:16] | If I go kiss the ring, | 如果我去亲吻戒指 |
| [05:17] | then I am committing to this job. | 就是要全力投入工作了 |
| [05:19] | But how can I do that? | 但我怎么做到 |
| [05:21] | How am I supposed to work a full-time job | 我如何做全职工作 |
| [05:23] | when I already have a full-time job | 因为我已经有了全职工作 |
| [05:25] | making sure that our kids aren’t jerks and weirdos? | 就是确保我们的孩子不成为混蛋和怪人 |
| [05:27] | Don’t you worry. This is just a rough patch. | 别担心 这只是困难时期 |
| [05:30] | I promise you, we’ll fix it, | 我向你保证 我们会解决的 |
| [05:31] | and you’ll feel good about kissing that ring. | 你会对亲吻戒指感觉良好 |
| [05:32] | Let me get this straight — we are going to find a way | 我说清楚一点 我们要在明晚前 |
| [05:34] | to fix our kids by tomorrow night? | 找到办法治好我们的孩子 |
| [05:36] | Hey, I installed a doggie door, | 我装了狗门 |
| [05:38] | and I still have all my fingers. | 指头一根也没少 |
| [05:39] | Anything’s possible. | 任何事都有可能 |
| [05:41] | So, I promise you, by tomorrow afternoon, | 我向你保证 明天下午 |
| [05:43] | these children will, in fact, be fixed. | 这些孩子一定会治好 |
| [05:49] | And that dog. | 还有狗 |
| [05:51] | All right, then. To the hat! | 那好吧 去找帽子 |
| [05:59] | We have three kids and a dog, | 我们有三个孩子一条狗 |
| [06:01] | which equals four problems. | 等于四个问题 |
| [06:02] | We each pick two, divide and conquer. | 我们各挑两个 各个击破 |
| [06:06] | Taylor. | 泰勒 |
| [06:09] | Luthor. | 卢瑟 |
| [06:13] | Foul. Dropped it. | 犯规 掉了 |
| [06:14] | Goes back in. | 放回去 |
| [06:17] | – You got Oliver. – Yes, I know. | -你挑到了奥利弗 -我知道 |
| [06:18] | Shame. But rules are rules. | 遗憾 不过规矩就是规矩 |
| [06:24] | Hup! Do-over. | 哎呀 再来 |
| [06:26] | Fine, I’ll just take Oliver. | 好 奥利弗归我 |
| [06:28] | Okay. | 好 |
| [06:29] | If I always get Oliver, | 如果奥利弗总是归我 |
| [06:30] | I don’t even know why we do the hat. | 我不明白为什么要来这套 |
| [06:36] | You’ve got Taylor and Anna-Kat. | 泰勒和安娜凯特归你 |
| [06:37] | I’ve got Oliver and Luthor. | 奥利弗和卢瑟归我 |
| [06:38] | All right, you ready? | 你准备好了吗 |
| [06:40] | I wasn’t ready when we had them, and I’m not ready now. | 生他们时我没准备好 现在也一样 |
| [06:45] | You take off that jacket and give it back to Trip. | 你脱下外套还给特里普 |
| [06:47] | But all the girlfriends wear their boyfriends’ jackets. | 但所有女生都穿男友的外套 |
| [06:50] | Not you. | 你不行 |
| [06:51] | You are your own person. Take it off. | 你是属于自己的 脱掉 |
| [06:53] | God, Mom, what’s your major problem? | 妈 你到底有什么意见 |
| [06:55] | Your whole life cannot be about some boy. | 你的全部人生不能只围着某个男生转 |
| [06:57] | What happens when he goes to college? | 他去大学了怎么办 |
| [06:59] | Whoa, what boy? | 什么男生 |
| [07:01] | – Are you seeing someone else? – No, she’s talking about you. | -你在约会别人 -不 她说的是你 |
| [07:03] | No, she said that guy was going to college. | 不 她说那家伙要上大学 |
| [07:04] | I’m just saying, | 我只是说 |
| [07:05] | you can’t put all your eggs in Trip’s basket. | 你不能把全部鸡蛋放在特里普的篮子里 |
| [07:07] | Mrs. A, I understand your concerns, | A太太 我明白你的担心 |
| [07:09] | but my cousin broke my Easter basket when I was 6, | 但我六岁时 表弟就把我的复活节篮子打破了 |
| [07:11] | so we’re good. | 没事的 |
| [07:12] | Trip, you have to go to the bathroom really bad. | 特里普 你非常急着上厕所 |
| [07:15] | I do? | 是吗 |
| [07:17] | I do! | 是的 |
| [07:20] | You need a life outside of Trip. | 你需要特里普以外的生活 |
| [07:22] | So, from now on, you are gonna put your interests first. | 从现在开始 你要把自己的兴趣放在第一位 |
| [07:26] | Maybe you should focus on someone other than me | 也许你应该聚焦于我以外的人 |
| [07:28] | and get your own life! | 拥有自己的生活 |
| [07:30] | I am trying to! | 我在努力 |
| [07:32] | I finally get a job | 我终于有了工作 |
| [07:33] | and take my eye off of you for one second, | 才没盯着你一下 |
| [07:36] | and you are making all the wrong decisions. | 你做的决定全是错的 |
| [07:38] | I will ban Trip if I need to. | 有必要我会禁止特里普 |
| [07:39] | All right, all right. You can’t just ban my boyfriend like that. | 好了 你不能这样禁止我的男友 |
| [07:41] | He’s not turkey hot dogs. | 他不是火鸡热狗 |
| [07:43] | Hot dogs are all beef or nothing. | 热狗必须是牛肉 |
| [07:46] | And you’d better get your act together. | 你最好给我表现好点 |
| [07:47] | Fine! | 好 |
| [07:48] | Hey, Mrs. A., next time, | A太太 下次 |
| [07:50] | can you give me more of a heads-up when I have to go? | 我必须上厕所时你能早点提醒吗 |
| [07:51] | I almost didn’t make it. | 我差点尿裤子 |
| [07:56] | You obviously have forgotten how fortunate you are. | 显然你忘了你有多幸运 |
| [07:59] | You admire Oprah. | 你敬佩奥普拉 |
| [08:00] | Well, she writes down | 她每晚 |
| [08:01] | three things she’s grateful for every night. | 会写下三件她感恩的事 |
| [08:03] | I took the liberty of writing three things down for you. | 我主动为你写了三件 |
| [08:05] | In lieu of hearing that list, | 与其听这个 |
| [08:07] | I prefer to be tied to a stake and left for the crows. | 我宁愿被绑在柱子上留给乌鸦 |
| [08:09] | Number one, | 第一 |
| [08:10] | you have a family that loves you. | 你有爱你的家人 |
| [08:11] | Two, you live in a beautiful beach town. | 第二 你生活在美丽的海滨城市 |
| [08:14] | And, three, you have plenty of friends. | 第三 你有很多朋友 |
| [08:16] | When all you do is look for what you don’t have, | 你所做的是寻找自己没有的 |
| [08:18] | you don’t see what you do have. | 你没看到自己拥有的 |
| [08:20] | Oh, I see it. | 我看到了 |
| [08:21] | A sink that backs up three times a week | 一周堵三次的水槽 |
| [08:23] | and a front yard without a single mature tree. | 没有一棵大树的前院 |
| [08:26] | Here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna go into school | 你要这样做 你去学校 |
| [08:27] | and tell people about the vacation you actually had. | 跟大家讲你真正的度假 |
| [08:30] | No one’s gonna think any less of you because you went to Amish Country. | 没人会因为你去了阿米什村而小看你 |
| [08:33] | Did Cooper Bradford go back in time | 库珀·布拉德福德及时回去 |
| [08:34] | and shake hands with history? | 和历史握手吗 |
| [08:37] | Let’s just let that sit there. | 先这样吧 |
| [08:40] | So, the heat from the hand dryers | 烘手机的高温 |
| [08:43] | purifies the particles in the air and cleans them. | 净化了空气中的微粒 并清洁它们 |
| [08:45] | I make this face so she thinks I’m telling the truth. | 我做出这种表情 她会以为我说的是真的 |
| [08:48] | Okay, Mama, I hear you, | 妈妈 我听到了 |
| [08:50] | and I have a solution that will make everyone happy. | 我有令所有人开心的办法 |
| [08:53] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
| [08:54] | I’ll just pee in a mayonnaise jar. | 我会在蛋黄酱罐子里尿尿 |
| [08:59] | Greg? | 格雷格 |
| [09:01] | This is how you do it, buddy. | 就是这样做的 |
| [09:02] | You just — you push your nose through. | 用鼻子推过去 |
| [09:05] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [09:06] | Hey, good job, Luthor. | 做得好 卢瑟 |
| [09:07] | You trained Greg to use the doggie door. | 你训练格雷格会用狗门了 |
| [09:09] | Can you also train him to stop talking | 你能训练他看《单身天堂》时 |
| [09:11] | through “Bachelor in Paradise”? | 不说话吗 |
| [09:13] | Yes, Greg, they all have nice bathing suits. | 是 格雷格 他们的泳衣都漂亮 |
| [09:16] | – How’d it go with Taylor? – I think I got through to her. | -泰勒怎么样 -我想可以了 |
| [09:18] | – Oliver? – We made some progress. | -奥利弗呢 -有进展 |
| [09:19] | – Anna-Kat? – he’s gonna pee in a mayonnaise jar. | -安娜凯特 -她会尿在蛋黄酱罐子里 |
| [09:21] | All right, we’re getting closer to you feeling good about going to New York | 离你感觉良好去纽约近了一步 |
| [09:24] | so you can kiss the ring and keep your job. | 这样你能亲吻戒指保住工作 |
| [09:25] | Tomorrow morning, you’ll talk with Ablin | 明天早上 我去找阿布林 |
| [09:27] | and figure out where Dr. Ellie is, and — | 弄清楚埃莉医生在哪里 |
| [09:29] | – What? – The sprinklers just went off. | -怎么了 -洒水器开了 |
| [09:31] | I’ve never used a bidet, but I finally get the appeal. | 我没用过坐浴盆 但我知道哪里好了 |
| [09:37] | We need to talk. | 我们要谈谈 |
| [09:38] | Was my assistant not out there to stop you? | 我的助理没有阻止你吗 |
| [09:40] | Donna’s no hero. | 唐娜不是英雄 |
| [09:41] | Why wasn’t I informed Dr. Ellie was going to be away? | 为什么没通知我埃莉医生要离开 |
| [09:44] | I sent you maybe 10 e-mails. | 我发了十封邮件给你 |
| [09:46] | I blocked you after the millionth e-mail | 你发了一百万封邮件说华夫饼周三 |
| [09:48] | about Waffle Wednesday. | 我把你屏蔽了 |
| [09:49] | It’s Wednesday. There’s waffles. I get it. | 周三 有华夫饼 我明白 |
| [09:51] | – Who has time for this nonsense? – Don’t you? | -谁有时间听这种废话 -你没有吗 |
| [09:53] | I will have you know that I recently started working. | 告诉你 我最近开始工作了 |
| [09:57] | You don’t think that I can be a mom | 你不认为我能在做妈妈的同时 |
| [09:58] | and have a life of my own? | 拥有自己的生活吗 |
| [09:59] | Can we wait a moment for my Ativan to kick in? | 能等一下 等我的抗焦虑药起效吗 |
| [10:02] | Won’t be long. | 很快的 |
| [10:10] | There we are. | 好了 |
| [10:13] | Dr. Ellie is on medical leave, | 埃莉医生请了医疗假 |
| [10:14] | but she’ll be back next week. | 但下周会回来 |
| [10:15] | In the meantime, I will continue | 同时 我会继续 |
| [10:17] | to fill in as teacher for the wacky kids. | 代她给古怪孩子们上课 |
| [10:19] | Because of you telling her about the hand dryers, | 就因为你告诉我女儿烘手机的事 |
| [10:20] | my daughter is scared to use the school bathroom. | 她害怕使用学校的厕所 |
| [10:23] | Well, would you look at me. Making a difference. | 瞧瞧 我带来了改变 |
| [10:25] | You need to fix it or else! | 你需要解决这事 否则 |
| [10:28] | And before you get your hopes up, | 先别抱幻想 |
| [10:29] | it’s not “Or else ice cream cake”! | 不是否则冰淇淋蛋糕 |
| [10:34] | Sir, would you be interested in a magazine subscription? | 先生 你有兴趣订杂志吗 |
| [10:37] | Donna! | 唐娜 |
| [10:43] | – Taylor? – Mom? | -泰勒 -妈 |
| [10:44] | You are decorating Trip’s locker? | 你在装饰特里普的储物柜 |
| [10:46] | Didn’t you hear a word I said to you last night? | 我昨晚说的话你一个字也没听进去吗 |
| [10:49] | I did. That’s why I’m doing things behind your back. | 听了 所以我背着你做 |
| [10:56] | There’s nothing wrong with living simply. | 生活简单一点没有错 |
| [11:01] | That’s why we gave our below-deck crew | 所以我们让甲板下船员 |
| [11:03] | Sunday mornings off to just have fun. | 周天休息 为了好玩 |
| [11:12] | You know who I am? | 知道我是谁吗 |
| [11:14] | I’m The Giving Tree. | 我是给予树 |
| [11:15] | I never understood that book until now. | 到现在我才懂那本书 |
| [11:17] | After they’ve eaten all my apples and cut off my branches, | 他们吃光我的苹果 砍光我的树枝后 |
| [11:21] | I’ll just be a stump. | 我就只剩树桩了 |
| [11:23] | And then they’re just gonna sit on me. | 然后他们会坐在我身上 |
| [11:24] | Do you ever come here in a good mood? | 你什么时候来这里是心情好的 |
| [11:26] | I want to keep my job, but how can I | 我想保住工作 但怎么做到 |
| [11:28] | when it’s just one problem after another with these kids? | 这些孩子们的问题一个接一个 |
| [11:31] | Well, just hire nannies to take over for you. | 请个保姆帮你搞定 |
| [11:33] | Sure, the kids will hate you for it, | 孩子当然会恨你 |
| [11:34] | but on the flip side, | 但好的一面 |
| [11:36] | when they have to go to therapy in a few years, | 几年后他们必须去看心理医生时 |
| [11:37] | they’ll complain about how the nanny messed them up. | 他们会抱怨是保姆害他们变成这样 |
| [11:40] | Have you tried sage-ing their bedrooms? | 你试过用鼠尾草熏他们的卧室吗 |
| [11:42] | You mean that ridiculous thing you do | 你是说你做的荒唐事 |
| [11:43] | where you burn dead leaves and it smells like garbage? | 烧垃圾味的枯叶子 |
| [11:45] | A simple “No” Would’ve been fine. | 简单说个”不”就行了 |
| [11:47] | Last month, I was filling out one of those doctor’s forms, | 上个月 我填医院的表格 |
| [11:49] | and in that space where they ask your profession, | 有一栏要写职业 |
| [11:51] | I wrote “Mom.” And then I was like, really? | 我写的是”妈” 我在想真的吗 |
| [11:53] | That’s all that I am? Mom? | 这就是我吗 只是妈妈 |
| [11:55] | But now I’m on the verge of having a career again. | 但现在我又快有事业了 |
| [11:59] | I am appreciated for my ideas. I earn money. | 我的主意被人欣赏 我能赚钱 |
| [12:02] | There’s four different kinds of creamer in the break room. | 休息室有四种不同的奶壶 |
| [12:04] | Had hazelnut coffee the other day. | 那天喝了榛子咖啡 |
| [12:06] | Didn’t care for it. | 根本不介意 |
| [12:07] | You need to get your butt to New York this evening. | 今晚你要去纽约 |
| [12:09] | For nine years, you’ve shown your kids | 九年来 你让孩子们看到的是 |
| [12:10] | a strong woman at home, | 家里的坚强女性 |
| [12:12] | and now you’re showing them a strong woman at work. | 现在你要让他们看到工作中的坚强女性 |
| [12:14] | Hey, how about for now, | 现在 |
| [12:15] | you just be a strong woman at breakfast? | 做个早餐时的强壮女性怎么样 |
| [12:17] | Open this ketchup for me! | 帮我打开番茄酱 |
| [12:20] | Those big hands really pay off. | 这双大手还是有用的 |
| [12:26] | Okay, buddy, here’s the deal. | 伙计 是这样的 |
| [12:27] | You need to go outside. | 你要出去 |
| [12:31] | Who is a good boy? | 谁是乖孩子 |
| [12:32] | You’re a good boy. Yes, you are. | 你是 没错 就是你 |
| [12:34] | Yes, you are. You’re my good boy. | 你是的 你是我的好孩子 |
| [12:36] | And you need to go out that door. | 你需要从这道门出去 |
| [12:37] | You do. | 是的 |
| [12:42] | Who ruvs you? | 谁耐你 |
| [12:43] | I ruv you. Res, I do. | 我耐你 木错 我耐 |
| [12:47] | This old outfit is terrible. | 这身旧衣服太可怕 |
| [12:51] | It’s like I’m wearing Spanx as outerwear. | 好像把塑身衣当外衣穿 |
| [12:53] | – I think you look great. – Of course you have to say that | -你很漂亮 -你当然要这样说 |
| [12:55] | because I’m your only source of action. | 因为只有我能让你享性福 |
| [12:57] | Gotta pee. | 得尿尿 |
| [12:59] | Gotta pee! | 得尿尿 |
| [13:00] | – Gotta pee. – Where are you going? | -得尿尿 -你去哪里 |
| [13:01] | Use the bathroom. | 用厕所 |
| [13:02] | Still won’t go to the bathroom at school, | 我不去学校的厕所 |
| [13:04] | and I won’t go here, either. | 家里的厕所也不去 |
| [13:05] | It’s disgusting! | 厕所真恶心 |
| [13:07] | Principal Ablin was supposed to talk to you. | 阿布林校长应该找你谈话 |
| [13:09] | He did. | 他说了 |
| [13:10] | Class, I might have misspoken yesterday | 同学们 关于学校的厕所 |
| [13:12] | concerning the school bathroom. | 我昨天说错了 |
| [13:13] | I said it was filthy. | 我说厕所很脏 |
| [13:15] | The truth is, it’s no filthier | 事实上 它并不比 |
| [13:16] | than any other room in school or at home. | 学校的其他房间或家里的厕所脏 |
| [13:18] | They’re all like a port-o-potty at Bonnaroo. | 它们都像波纳罗的公共厕所 |
| [13:21] | I got hella sunburned that weekend. | 那个周末我被晒伤了 |
| [13:23] | Backyard’s occupied! | 后院有人 |
| [13:26] | Anna-Kat is peeing outside. | 安娜凯特在外面尿尿 |
| [13:28] | The dog is peeing inside. Things are not fixed. | 狗在家里尿尿 事情没有解决 |
| [13:31] | – Always makes me laugh. – What, Cooper? | -总是让我发笑 -什么 库珀 |
| [13:33] | Oh, it’s just weird walking into your house. | 走进你们家很奇怪 |
| [13:34] | No one announces you. | 没人为你通报 |
| [13:37] | Oliver, I heard that, after our talk, | 奥利弗 我听说我们谈话后 |
| [13:38] | you went and gave a great presentation at school. | 你在学校做了不错的展示 |
| [13:41] | You — You heard? | 你听说 |
| [13:42] | I was at school for Anna-Kat. | 我为安娜凯特的事去学校 |
| [13:43] | I peeked in on your class and told your dad all about it. | 我偷看你在班上的情况 告诉了你爸 |
| [13:46] | You’re never gonna guess! | 你们猜不到的 |
| [13:48] | You had a good time at rehearsal | 你在彩排时很开心 |
| [13:49] | and appreciate my parenting? | 感激我这个当妈的 |
| [13:51] | Hardly. No, Trip got a new car. | 才不 特里普有了新车 |
| [13:53] | To celebrate the start of the first of my senior years. | 为了庆祝我第一个毕业班年度 |
| [13:57] | Come again? | 什么 |
| [13:58] | It took my brother three senior years to graduate. | 我哥读了三年毕业班才毕业 |
| [14:00] | I’m hoping to do it in two. | 我希望两年搞定 |
| [14:02] | You will, smartie. | 你会的 聪明人 |
| [14:03] | So, Trip’s Porsche is going to his sister, | 特里普的保时捷归他妹妹 |
| [14:05] | and his sister’s old car is going to me. | 他妹妹的车归我 |
| [14:07] | Sweet! | 太好了 |
| [14:09] | I don’t even know where to begin. | 我甚至不知从何说起 |
| [14:10] | I know! It’s a Mini Cooper. Isn’t that great? | 就是 是辆迷你库珀 是不是很棒 |
| [14:14] | Mom’s expression is not that of someone | 妈妈的表情不是某人在表示 |
| [14:16] | who thinks something is great. | 认为某件事很棒 |
| [14:20] | Guys, what are you doing here? | 你们来做什么 |
| [14:22] | Oh, we got all of your emergency texts | 我们收到你的紧急短信 |
| [14:23] | about not having anything to wear, | 说没衣服穿 |
| [14:24] | so we brought you this. | 所以给你拿来这个 |
| [14:26] | Oh, looks like we weren’t a moment too soon. | 看来差点就来不及了 |
| [14:28] | I love you guys, but I’m not gonna need it. | 我爱你们 但我用不上 |
| [14:30] | Do you want to know why? Jerk. Jerk. | 想知道原因吗 混蛋 混蛋 |
| [14:33] | And the other one is peeing in the yard. | 另一个在院子里尿尿 |
| [14:35] | Let’s not give up hope yet. | 先别放弃希望 |
| [14:37] | Last-ditch effort. You with me? | 最后的努力 你赞同吗 |
| [14:39] | I’m with you. | 我赞同 |
| [14:40] | Hey, guys. I have a presentation of my own. | 各位 我也有展示 |
| [14:43] | Come on. | 来吧 |
| [14:47] | What’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [14:48] | Pictures of Oliver’s real summer vacation. | 奥利弗真正暑假度假的照片 |
| [14:54] | This is making me sad. | 这令我难过 |
| [14:57] | Turn it off. | 关掉 |
| [14:59] | Turn it off! | 关掉 |
| [15:01] | I don’t see the problem. | 我没发现问题 |
| [15:02] | You can’t just take a car from your boyfriend. | 你不能拿你男友的车 |
| [15:04] | She didn’t take it, Mrs. A. I gave it to her. | 她没拿 A太太 我给她的 |
| [15:07] | Your mom thought you stole it. | 你妈以为你偷的 |
| [15:09] | Trip, you are very close to needing to go to the bathroom again. | 特里普 你就快又要急着上厕所了 |
| [15:13] | And that, Cooper, is the candle that Oliver made. | 库珀 那是奥利弗做的蜡烛 |
| [15:18] | Why are you doing this to me? | 你为什么这样对我 |
| [15:19] | Because your mother always makes me take you | 因为每次帽子抽签时 你妈总是 |
| [15:21] | when we go to the hat. | 逼我选你 |
| [15:23] | Taylor, I want you to be a strong, independent woman, | 泰勒 我希望你做坚强独立的女性 |
| [15:27] | not one of these kept Westport housewives. | 而西港家庭主妇不是这样的 |
| [15:30] | It’s lost that new-purse smell. | 没了新包的味道 |
| [15:32] | Anyone want this? | 有人要吗 |
| [15:33] | Like Doris. | 比如多瑞丝 |
| [15:34] | Well, Doris seems to be doing pretty well for herself. | 多瑞丝看起来不错啊 |
| [15:36] | She sleeps late, brunches. | 她睡懒觉 吃早午餐 |
| [15:39] | She goes to the country club every day. | 每天去乡村俱乐部 |
| [15:40] | Hey! I also have unlimited spending on Richard’s credit cards. | 我还可以无限制地刷理查德的信用卡 |
| [15:45] | Doris may be doing well now, | 虽说多瑞丝现在不错 |
| [15:47] | but look at the bigger picture. | 但要看长远 |
| [15:48] | She’s deep in her 30s, has no profession, | 她30多岁了 没有事业 |
| [15:50] | and signed a prenup. | 而且签了婚前协议 |
| [15:52] | And she’s going to start getting wrinkles | 她会开始长皱纹 |
| [15:53] | just around the same time | 而同时 |
| [15:55] | Richard hires a hot, new, young assistant. | 理查德请了位美丽年轻的助理 |
| [15:57] | And we all know how the story ends. | 我们都知道结局会是怎样 |
| [15:59] | How? How does the story end? | 怎样 结局会是怎样 |
| [16:01] | With the hot assistant living in her house | 美丽助理住进她家 |
| [16:03] | and Doris is perched on a stool | 多瑞丝坐在芝士蛋糕工厂 |
| [16:05] | at the Cheesecake Factory bar | 酒吧的高脚凳上 |
| [16:06] | desperate to catch someone’s eye. | 绝望地想吸引某人 |
| [16:08] | – Oh, my. – Doris, you look pale. | -天啊 -多瑞丝 你一脸苍白 |
| [16:11] | – Are you okay? – I think I’m in trouble. | -你还好吗 -我有麻烦了 |
| [16:13] | – Okay, I’ll drive you home. – I need to be nice to Richard. | -我送你回家 -我要对理查德好一点 |
| [16:15] | Do you remember how? | 你记得怎么做吗 |
| [16:18] | Thanks, Mom. I get what you’re trying to teach me. | 谢谢你 妈妈 我知道你想教我什么 |
| [16:20] | – You do? – Never sign a prenup. | -是吗 -永远别签婚前协议 |
| [16:23] | And you called me the smartie. | 你还说我是聪明人 |
| [16:25] | So, you lied about where you went this summer? | 原来你说夏天去了哪里都是骗我的 |
| [16:28] | Yeah. Thanks a lot, Dad. | 对 多谢你了 爸 |
| [16:31] | Dude! | 兄弟 |
| [16:32] | I’m your best friend. | 我是你最好的朋友 |
| [16:33] | You don’t lie to me. | 你不能对我说谎 |
| [16:35] | You lie to customs officials. | 你要对海关人员说谎 |
| [16:37] | So, from now on, you’re coming on vacation with ol’ Cooper B. | 所以从现在起 你和库珀一起度假 |
| [16:40] | Everything first class. | 一切都是头等的 |
| [16:42] | Thanks, man. You’re the best. | 谢谢了 你最好了 |
| [16:44] | He’s not the best. He’s the worst. | 他不是最好 他是最坏的 |
| [16:47] | I am trying to have my own life, | 我努力想拥有自己的生活 |
| [16:50] | but I can’t, | 但我做不到 |
| [16:51] | because I am constantly having to | 因为我总是要不断地 |
| [16:54] | stop you and your sister from being idiots! | 阻止你和你的姐姐变白痴 |
| [16:56] | – Run. – I give, and I give, | -跑 -我付出 付出 |
| [16:58] | and you just keep taking my apples! | 你们拿走我的苹果 |
| [17:03] | What is she talking about? | 她在说什么 |
| [17:05] | This is so fun. | 真好玩 |
| [17:07] | And you two are part of the problem! | 你们两个是问题所在 |
| [17:15] | Thanks, Mrs. A. | 谢谢 A太太 |
| [17:20] | Sorry I took so long. | 抱歉我这么久 |
| [17:22] | A squirrel saw me, and I got trigger-shy. | 一只松鼠看着我 我尿不出来 |
| [17:27] | Thanks for trying, Greg. But I give up. | 多谢你努力 格雷格 但我放弃了 |
| [17:30] | I am not allowed to have a life. | 我不被允许拥有生活 |
| [17:34] | Damn it, Luthor! | 见鬼 卢瑟 |
| [17:37] | Of course. He’s motivated by fear! | 当然了 它要靠恐惧来激励 |
| [17:39] | Of all people, I should’ve thought of that. | 在所有人当中 我应该想到这点 |
| [17:45] | With these kids, I can’t keep this job. | 有这些孩子 我没法保住这工作 |
| [17:47] | I can’t kiss the ring. | 我不能亲吻戒指 |
| [17:49] | I can’t make that kind of commitment. | 我不能做出那样的承诺 |
| [17:52] | I know other moms do it. | 我知道其他妈妈能做到 |
| [17:53] | They just have smarter kids with better friends. | 她们有更聪明的孩子和更好的朋友 |
| [17:58] | Mom, come downstairs! | 妈 下楼 |
| [18:00] | There’s something we need to show you! | 你得看样东西 |
| [18:02] | Why couldn’t I just lay eggs like a sea turtle | 我为什么不能像海龟那样下蛋 |
| [18:04] | and be done with it? | 然后就完了 |
| [18:12] | What? | 什么事 |
| [18:12] | Watch this. | 看这个 |
| [18:19] | You called me down here to watch Cooper eat cheese? | 你们叫我下来看库珀吃芝士 |
| [18:22] | Not just any cheese. | 这不是普通芝士 |
| [18:24] | I’m eating a slice of Kraft Sing-lay. | 我吃的是一片卡夫弹片 |
| [18:26] | Singles. Kraft Singles. | 单片 卡夫单片 |
| [18:28] | I’m gonna close my eyes and count to 10. | 我会闭上眼睛数到十 |
| [18:31] | Then I’m gonna start swinging at everybody. | 然后我会开始向所有人发火 |
| [18:33] | I’ve never eaten supermarket cheese before. | 我从没吃过超市的芝士 |
| [18:35] | All our cheese is imported from Boulette d’Avesnes. | 我们的芝士都是从法国进口的高级芝士 |
| [18:39] | Cooper realized that he’s been part of the problem | 库珀发现你和奥利弗的矛盾 |
| [18:40] | you’ve been having with Oliver. | 他有部分原因 |
| [18:42] | So, I’m going to try and be a regular human boy. | 所以我会尝试做普通的人类男孩 |
| [18:45] | No chauffeurs driving me and Oliver around, | 没有司机开车送我和奥利弗 |
| [18:48] | no more caviar facials, | 不再做鱼子酱面膜 |
| [18:49] | and no more rap battles with Lin-Manuel Miranda. | 不再和林曼纽·米兰达进行说唱对决 |
| [18:52] | – Dude! – No. | -兄弟 -不 |
| [18:53] | – She needs this. – Trip? | -这是她需要的 -特里普 |
| [18:55] | And I think I understand your issue with me and Taylor, | 我想我理解你对我和泰勒的意见 |
| [18:57] | so from now on, she’s gonna be her own person, | 从现在开始 她会是属于她自己的 |
| [19:00] | and she’ll have to get her own car. | 她得买自己的车 |
| [19:01] | And I’m gonna wear one of her jackets. | 我会穿她的外套 |
| [19:12] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [19:14] | So, the two people that are making my kids jerks | 令我的孩子成为混蛋的两个人 |
| [19:16] | may just be the answer to making them less jerky? | 可能会令他们不那么混蛋 |
| [19:19] | Go figure. | 谁想到呢 |
| [19:20] | – Anna-Kat, do you think you can start peeing inside now? – No. | -安娜凯特 你能在屋里尿尿吗 -不行 |
| [19:24] | But Luthor has been peeing in the spots where I pee. | 但卢瑟一直在我尿尿的地方尿 |
| [19:27] | That’s something. Luthor’s peeing outside. | 了不起 卢瑟在室外尿了 |
| [19:29] | We fixed 3 out of 4. That’s 75%. | 我们解决了四分之三的问题 75% |
| [19:32] | We took Taylor to Benihana’s | 去年泰勒数学考试有这个分数 |
| [19:34] | when she got that on a math test last year. | 我们带她去了红花铁板烧 |
| [19:36] | I’ll take it. | 我接受 |
| [19:37] | Get dressed and go kiss that ring. | 去换衣服亲吻戒指吧 |
| [19:39] | With traffic this time of day, | 这时候的交通状况 |
| [19:40] | there’s no way I’m gonna make it to New York in time. | 我不可能及时到纽约 |
| [19:42] | I’ll be two hours late. | 我会迟到两小时 |
| [19:44] | I am so or-elsed. | 我一定是否则了 |
| [19:46] | If only you had access to a helicopter. | 除非你能坐直升机 |
| [19:50] | Permission to be rich again for a second? | 批准再做一会有钱人 |
| [19:56] | Here I go. | 我走了 |
| [19:57] | Go get ’em! | 去吧 |
| [20:01] | What’s wrong? | 有什么事 |
| [20:02] | Nothing. | 没事 |
| [20:06] | I couldn’t have done this without you. | 没有你 我做不到 |
| [20:13] | I don’t know if it’s true, but I feel like | 我不知道是不是真的 但我感觉 |
| [20:16] | this helicopter wind is making me look fantastic! | 直升机的风令我看起来美极了 |
| [20:30] | Katie, you’re here! | 凯蒂 你到了 |
| [20:34] | You look fantastic. | 你看起来美极了 |
| [20:37] | Come sit. | 坐吧 |
| [20:40] | Uh, I thought you were going to be here in person. | 我以为你会亲自在这里 |
| [20:44] | You are a quirky one, Katie. | 你真古怪 凯蒂 |
| [20:49] | So, you were wrong about the ring being a metaphor. | 你错了 戒指不是隐喻 |
| [20:51] | – It was right there on the table.. – Did you kiss it? | -戒指就在桌子上 -你亲了吗 |
| [20:53] | Of course, why not? | 当然亲了 为何不亲 |
| [20:55] | I kissed you when you had shingles. | 你长带状疱疹时我不也亲了你 |
| [20:59] | You bringing me more clothes? | 你又给我拿衣服来了 |
| [21:00] | No. This is filled with money. | 不 箱子里全是钱 |
| [21:02] | I need to stash some away just in case Richard leaves me. | 我要把钱另外藏起来 以免理查德离开我 |
| [21:04] | After some careful introspection, I’ve realized | 经过仔细反省我发现 |
| [21:07] | I’m insanely unlikable. | 我这人一点也不讨人喜欢 |
| [21:09] | Where’s your basement? | 地下室在哪里 |