| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Hey, Katie! | 凯蒂 |
| [00:05] | Viv? | 维芙 |
| [00:06] | How’d you get in? | 你怎么进来的 |
| [00:07] | Oh! I broke in while you guys were away, | 你们不在家时我闯了进来 |
| [00:10] | called a locksmith, pretended I was you, | 叫了锁匠 我假装是你 |
| [00:12] | and had a key made. | 配了把钥匙 |
| [00:13] | It’s not important. | 这不重要 |
| [00:14] | Mm. Whatcha workin’ on? | 你在做什么 |
| [00:15] | Deciding on the best way to keep you out — | 选择把你关在外面的最佳方式 |
| [00:16] | a guard dog or dig a moat and fill it with carbs. | 看门狗还是挖护城河里面装满碳水化合物 |
| [00:18] | You! | 你啊 |
| [00:21] | Ooh. Cursive. What’s this? | 草书 这是什么 |
| [00:23] | These are the sample invitations for the Spring Gala. | 这是春季晚会的邀请函样本 |
| [00:26] | I’m so sorry, but I cannot go to your little Gala. | 对不起 但我不能参加你的晚会 |
| [00:28] | I don’t have any money because of the divorce, | 因为离婚 我没钱 |
| [00:30] | and my new boyfriend is a pig trainer, | 我的新男友是训猪师 |
| [00:32] | which is not as lucrative as it sounds. | 并不像听起来那么赚钱 |
| [00:34] | You don’t have to apologize. You’re not invited. | 你不必道歉 没邀请你 |
| [00:36] | It’s a school function, and you don’t have kids. | 这是学校筹款会 你没孩子 |
| [00:38] | Well, I might someday soon. | 我可能很快就有了 |
| [00:41] | What now? | 什么情况 |
| [00:42] | Things with Dirk are amazing. | 和德克进展得太好了 |
| [00:45] | Physically, it’s so gooood. | 身体接触太美好了 |
| [00:48] | Extra O’s. | 好得不得了 |
| [00:49] | Remember the over-share conversation? | 说过别信息量太大 |
| [00:51] | This falls into that. | 现在就是 |
| [00:52] | Oh, right. | 对 |
| [00:53] | And so that’s why I was thinking about having a baby. | 所以我在考虑生孩子 |
| [00:57] | Do you think I’d be a good mom? | 你觉得我会是好妈妈吗 |
| [01:00] | You’d be…A mom. | 你会是妈妈 |
| [01:03] | Right? | 对吗 |
| [01:04] | Mom! I need you! | 妈 我需要你 |
| [01:05] | I don’t feel good! | 我不舒服 |
| [01:07] | Viv raising a kid? | 维芙养孩子 |
| [01:08] | I’m not sure I could picture that. | 我无法想象 |
| [01:09] | Why don’t you just tell Oliver your best friend’s over | 你为什么不告诉奥利弗你最好的朋友来了 |
| [01:11] | and to shut up and grow a pair?! | 让他闭嘴 爷们一点 |
| [01:14] | Now I can picture it, and it’s not gooood. | 现在我可以想象 画面并不美好 |
| [01:17] | Extra O’s. | 非常不好 |
| [01:25] | What’s wrong, honey? | 怎么了 亲爱的 |
| [01:26] | I’m achy and I’m freezing and sweating. | 身体痛 好冷 出汗 |
| [01:30] | Can you get the thermometer? | 你去拿体温计好吗 |
| [01:31] | I have been a mother for over 16 years. | 我做了16年的母亲 |
| [01:33] | I don’t need a thermometer. | 我不需要体温计 |
| [01:36] | Yep. You got a fever. | 你发烧了 |
| [01:38] | Viv couldn’t do that with a kid. | 维芙就不能对孩子这样做 |
| [01:40] | Her face has probably lost all feeling | 她的脸可能因为脸颊填充物 |
| [01:42] | from the cheek fillers. | 已经成了死皮了 |
| [01:43] | Mama, my science project is done. | 妈妈 我的科学作业完成了 |
| [01:46] | You said not to wait until the last minute, | 你说了不要拖到最后一刻 |
| [01:48] | but I did wait. | 但我拖了 |
| [01:49] | Looks like you were wrong. | 看来你错了 |
| [01:51] | It’s finished? Both sides? | 做完了 两面 |
| [01:53] | Oh, crap. There’s another side? | 见鬼 还有一面 |
| [01:56] | I have to build a 3-D model of a cell by tomorrow? | 明天前要做好3D细胞模型 |
| [02:00] | I’m ruined! | 我完蛋了 |
| [02:01] | Mom, where’s my volleyball jersey? | 妈 我的排球队服在哪 |
| [02:03] | First game’s tomorrow, and if I don’t have it, | 明天一早就比赛 如果我没队服 |
| [02:05] | Mandy Ward is taking my spot. | 曼迪就会抢了我的位置 |
| [02:07] | She’s already filling up a C cup. | 她已经长到C杯了 |
| [02:08] | She doesn’t need anything else to go her way. | 她不需要其他事样样顺意 |
| [02:10] | Did you hang it up like I told you to? | 我叫你挂起来 你照做了吗 |
| [02:14] | This is a disaster! | 这是一场灾难 |
| [02:16] | It looks like the dressing room attendant at Ross up and quit. | 好像服装超市更衣室的服务员辞职了 |
| [02:19] | Can you look for my jersey while you yell at me? | 你能一边吼我一边找吗 |
| [02:21] | I know your time is valuable. | 我知道你的时间很宝贵 |
| [02:23] | The three of you have no one to blame but yourselves. | 你们三个只能怪你们自己 |
| [02:25] | Let me remind you that, two Saturdays ago, | 我提醒一下你们 两个周六前 |
| [02:27] | I tried to stop this very moment from happening. | 我就试着阻止这一切 |
| [02:33] | Anna-Kat, you really need to get a head start | 安娜凯特 你真的得开始 |
| [02:35] | on this science project. | 做科学作业了 |
| [02:36] | Relax, nerd. It’s not due for two weeks. | 放轻松 书呆 两周后才交 |
| [02:40] | I’m going to Cooper’s. | 我去库珀家 |
| [02:41] | You need to put a jacket on. | 你要穿上外套 |
| [02:43] | You don’t want to get sick. | 你可不想生病 |
| [02:44] | Did they cover that in your fourth year of medical school? | 你在四年的医学院中学到的吗 |
| [02:50] | You need to clean your room. | 你要打扫你的房间 |
| [02:51] | And hang up your jersey so you don’t lose it. | 把队服挂起来 这样不会弄丢 |
| [02:53] | Mom, if my messy room bothers you, | 妈 如果我的房间乱烦到你了 |
| [02:55] | here’s a solution — don’t go in it. | 有个办法 别进去 |
| [02:57] | Problem solver! | 问题解决者 |
| [03:01] | You should have listened to me in the first place, | 你们应该一开始就听我的 |
| [03:03] | and the 10 more times I told you after that. | 我之后又说了十遍 |
| [03:06] | Greg? | 格雷格 |
| [03:06] | Your mother’s right. | 你们妈妈说得对 |
| [03:07] | When she tells you to do something, | 她让你们做什么 |
| [03:08] | you should do it immediately. | 你们应该马上做 |
| [03:10] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [03:11] | By the way, I’m done with my sample invitations. | 对了 我的邀请函样本完成了 |
| [03:13] | I assume you’ve set up the printer? | 我想你把打印机装好了 |
| [03:15] | – No, but — – Seriously, Greg? | -没 但是 -真的吗 格雷格 |
| [03:16] | You’ve had two years to set it up. | 你有两年时间装好 |
| [03:18] | I’m going to set it up. You don’t have to nag. | 我会装的 你不必唠叨 |
| [03:19] | I don’t nag. | 我不唠叨 |
| [03:22] | Stop making those dumb faces. | 别做这种愚蠢的表情 |
| [03:24] | If I were a nag — which I’m not — | 如果我爱唠叨 虽说我不是 |
| [03:26] | it’d only be because you all make me one. | 那也是因为你们逼我的 |
| [03:29] | If you did what I told you, | 如果我说了你们就做 |
| [03:30] | I would just be a sweet woman offering gentle reminders. | 我将只是发送温馨提醒的和气女人 |
| [03:33] | I want it on record that we did not exchange looks, | 我要这话记录在案 我们不做表情 |
| [03:36] | even though you called yourself “Sweet” | 哪怕你说自己和气 |
| [03:37] | and said your reminders were “Gentle.” | 你的提醒很温馨 |
| [03:40] | Laugh it up, but the only reason | 尽管笑 但你们现在 |
| [03:42] | why you’re calling for mommy right now | 找妈的唯一原因 |
| [03:43] | is because none of you ever listen to me. | 是因为你们都不听我的 |
| [03:45] | That’s not true. | 不是这样的 |
| [03:46] | Anna-Kat, what did I just say? | 安娜凯特 我刚说什么 |
| [03:49] | Greg! | 格雷格 |
| [03:51] | No, it’s like this. Greg! | 不 是这样的 格雷格 |
| [03:53] | Okay, you know what? | 知道吗 |
| [03:54] | I’m tired of you people. | 我受够你们了 |
| [03:56] | I have given you my life, my body, | 我为你们放弃了我的生活 我的身材 |
| [03:58] | and my pottery studio. | 我的陶器工作室 |
| [03:59] | That’s right. | 是的 |
| [04:00] | Your bedroom was going to be my pottery studio. | 你的卧室本来要成为我的陶器工作室 |
| [04:03] | You’re on your own. I’m turning off the mom switch. | 你们靠自己吧 妈妈模式正式关闭 |
| [04:05] | But I need my jersey! | 但我需要队服 |
| [04:06] | What do I do about my model? | 我的模型怎么办 |
| [04:08] | But my cold sweats — Mom! | 我在出冷汗 妈 |
| [04:09] | No Mom here. | 这里没妈 |
| [04:10] | Just a childless woman without a printer | 我只是没有打印机的没孩子的女人 |
| [04:12] | or a place to glaze my whimsical pinch-pots. | 也没地方给我的创意陶罐上釉 |
| [04:17] | Where are you going? | 你去哪里 |
| [04:17] | Out. | 出去 |
| [04:18] | And by the time I get back, that printer better be working. | 等我回来时 打印机最好能用了 |
| [04:21] | Well, I can’t deal with the kids | 我不能同时照顾孩子 |
| [04:22] | and set up the printer at the same time. | 还装打印机 |
| [04:24] | Every day, I figure out | 每一天 我都要想办法 |
| [04:25] | how to make breakfast, pack lunches, | 做早餐 打包午餐 |
| [04:27] | clean the house, do the laundry, | 清洁房子 洗衣服 |
| [04:29] | grocery shop, make dinner, | 去超市 做晚餐 |
| [04:30] | and vote for Team Blake on “The Voice” | 给《美国之声》的布莱克队投票 |
| [04:32] | while taking care of our children. | 同时还要照顾我们的孩子 |
| [04:34] | I have complete confidence that you can manage the kids | 我相当确信你可以照管孩子的同时 |
| [04:37] | and the printer at the same time. | 装好打印机 |
| [04:40] | I fold the laundry sometimes. | 有时候我会叠衣服 |
| [04:42] | Not well! | 叠得不好 |
| [04:49] | Look at you guys, | 看你们 |
| [04:50] | so happy despite not knowing your best angles. | 这么开心 虽然没把最上镜角度对着镜头 |
| [04:53] | I see this and know, if you can do it, I totally can. | 看到这个我知道 如果你能做到我也能 |
| [04:57] | Mm. Being a mom is hard. | 做妈妈很难 |
| [04:59] | I just make it look easy. | 我只是令一切看起来很轻松 |
| [05:00] | No, you don’t. | 不 你没有 |
| [05:01] | It obviously takes a lot of effort. | 显然很费事 |
| [05:02] | That’s why you’re always in your yard-work clothes. | 所以你总是穿着庭院活工作服 |
| [05:05] | But I really think I’m ready. | 但我真的觉得我准备好了 |
| [05:06] | Ignore the slam, and you could kill two birds with one stone. | 无视她的打击 你可以一石二鸟 |
| [05:09] | Let’s see. | 我想想 |
| [05:10] | Why don’t you get some hands-on practice | 你不如实习一下 |
| [05:12] | by watching my precious, little angels while I’m out? | 我出去时 你照顾我宝贝的小天使们 |
| [05:14] | Oh, my God. I would love to. | 我的天 我很乐意 |
| [05:16] | How often do I have to let them outside to pee? | 我需要多久让他们出来尿一次 |
| [05:19] | They can pee on their own. | 他们会自己尿 |
| [05:20] | If anything should come up | 如果有事 |
| [05:21] | or you feel like you need to call me, don’t. | 或者你觉得需要打电话给我 别打 |
| [05:23] | Where are you going? | 你去哪里 |
| [05:25] | My happy place. | 我的快乐之地 |
| [05:26] | Orlando? | 奥兰多 |
| [05:28] | Aww. People like you love it there. | 像你这样的人喜欢那里 |
| [05:38] | Welcome to Hideaway. Can I help you find anything? | 欢迎来到世外桃源 需要我帮你找什么吗 |
| [05:42] | Just the spark of life I used to have. | 我曾经拥有的生命之光 |
| [05:48] | Have a sample. Don’t be shy. | 试吃一下 别害羞 |
| [05:51] | Oh. You must be new. | 你肯定是新来的 |
| [06:01] | The mom switch is off. | 妈妈模式下线了 |
| [06:03] | My phone ringer is off. | 电话静音了 |
| [06:05] | What else should be off? | 还有什么应该解开 |
| [06:09] | There ya go. | 这就对了 |
| [06:15] | Excuse me. That’s my seat. | 打扰下 这是我的位置 |
| [06:18] | I don’t see your name on it. | 上面又没写你的名字 |
| [06:21] | Hitting other people’s children is wrong. | 打别人家的孩子是错的 |
| [06:22] | Hitting other ople’s children is wrong. | 打别人家的孩子是错的 |
| [06:24] | Hey! You two. | 你们两个 |
| [06:25] | Get out of here, or I’m gonna tell your parents | 快走开 否则我告诉你们家长 |
| [06:27] | I caught you touching the mannequins | 我发现你们摸人体模型的 |
| [06:28] | in their bathing-suit area. | 比基尼区 |
| [06:32] | Ah! Adam, thank God you’re working today. | 亚当 你今天上班太好了 |
| [06:34] | I wouldn’t normally be, but I’m filling in for Heather. | 通常我今天不来 我替海瑟的班 |
| [06:37] | Her grandmother’s in the hospital again. | 她的奶奶又住院了 |
| [06:38] | Either live or die, lady. Make a decision. | 要么活要么死 老太太 快点决定吧 |
| [06:40] | Ohh. Heather’s the worst. | 海瑟最差劲了 |
| [06:42] | She always gives me a look | 我没在买单时捐款 |
| [06:43] | when I don’t donate to charity at checkout. | 她总是给我白眼 |
| [06:45] | Ugh. Stupid Heather. | 愚蠢的海瑟 |
| [06:47] | So, what can I do to make your life better today? | 我今天能做些什么让你的生活更美好 |
| [06:50] | Oh, Adam, you’re my perfect Hideaway husband. | 亚当 你是我完美的世外桃源的老公 |
| [06:53] | I have some sample invitations | 我要为春季晚会 |
| [06:55] | that I need to print out for the Spring Gala. | 打印一些邀请样本 |
| [06:57] | I’m the Gala Chairwoman. | 我是晚会主席 |
| [07:00] | I heard the woman who chaired the Gala last year | 我听说去年做主席的女人 |
| [07:02] | got so overwhelmed by the work and the pressure | 被工作和压力整到崩溃了 |
| [07:04] | that she stripped naked | 她脱个精光 |
| [07:05] | and started pelting people with cans of tuna. | 冲大家砸金枪鱼罐头 |
| [07:07] | No, she just yelled at a shrimp tower. | 不是 她只是冲虾塔大吼 |
| [07:10] | Oh, well, that’s less fun. | 没意思 |
| [07:11] | Well, I can’t have you going crazy, | 我不能让你发疯 |
| [07:13] | so let me help you with your invitations. | 我帮你打印邀请函 |
| [07:14] | – What’s the theme? – Bollywood. | -主题是什么 -宝莱坞 |
| [07:17] | The drama! | 夸张 |
| [07:17] | The romance! The dance numbers! | 浪漫 舞蹈 |
| [07:19] | It’s perfect. | 完美 |
| [07:20] | Oh, you know what would be amazing? | 知道什么很棒吗 |
| [07:22] | Nathan Fillion riding around on an elephant? | 内森·菲利安骑着大象出场 |
| [07:24] | Shut up! | 少来了 |
| [07:25] | That’s exactly what I was going to say! | 我正准备这么说 |
| [07:30] | Okay, so tell me where the printer’s product key is | 告诉我打印机的产品密钥在哪里 |
| [07:32] | and I’ll read it back. | 我自己看 |
| [07:34] | Stop telling me it’s in the instruction book. | 别再说在说明书上 |
| [07:35] | I just told you I lost the instruction book! | 我说了 说明书不见了 |
| [07:38] | Hello? Hello? | 喂 喂 |
| [07:41] | Gimme those invites. | 邀请函给我 |
| [07:41] | Okay, they’re all on…this. | 好的 都在这上面 |
| [07:47] | Hey! That’s it. | 够了 |
| [07:49] | I’m telling your parents, | 我要告诉你们父母 |
| [07:50] | who, by the way, are getting a divorce. | 对了 他们要离婚了 |
| [07:52] | And they’re gonna say it’s not because of you, but it is. | 他们会说不是因为你们 其实是的 |
| [07:55] | Let’s go. | 我们走 |
| [07:57] | I don’t know who their parents are. | 我不认识他们父母 |
| [08:02] | So many kinds of Cheerios. | 这么多种麦圈 |
| [08:05] | Normally, I’d text home to see who wants what, | 通常我会发短信问谁要什么 |
| [08:07] | but I’m gonna decide what flavor I want, | 但现在我要决定我要什么口味 |
| [08:09] | and I want… Very Berry. | 我要浆果多多 |
| [08:12] | Can I eat this entire box | 我能吃完整盒 |
| [08:14] | and throw it out before I get to a checkout? | 在买单前扔掉盒子吗 |
| [08:15] | Let’s try it. | 试一下 |
| [08:16] | Oh, There you are. Here’s the update. | 你在这里 最新情况 |
| [08:19] | Ugly people are breeding at alarming rates, | 丑人的繁殖率令人担忧 |
| [08:21] | and they’re all printing up their baby announcements here. | 他们在这里打印宝宝公告 |
| [08:24] | And Heather’s grandma pulled through. | 海瑟的奶奶熬过来了 |
| [08:27] | So annoying. | 烦死了 |
| [08:29] | Anyway, I bumped a few orders down the list, | 总之 我插了队 |
| [08:30] | and your invites will be ready in 20 minutes. | 你的邀请函20分钟后好 |
| [08:32] | Can you wait? | 你能等吗 |
| [08:33] | Yeah, I think I can manage. | 没问题 |
| [08:34] | – Not in a rush to get home? – Not today. | -不急着回家 -今天不急 |
| [08:36] | My kids are driving me crazy. | 孩子们快把我逼疯了 |
| [08:38] | The boy is sick. | 儿子病了 |
| [08:39] | And when he gets sick, he gets really, really needy. | 他生病时变得非常黏人 |
| [08:43] | I brought you some soup. | 我给你拿了汤 |
| [08:47] | This has carrots. | 里面有胡萝卜 |
| [08:49] | I don’t like carrots. | 我不喜欢胡萝卜 |
| [08:50] | My mom always scoops them out. | 我妈总是会挑出来 |
| [08:52] | Well, then I can scoop them out. | 我可以挑出来 |
| [08:55] | Also, she puts VapoRub on my feet. | 而且 她用药膏为我按摩脚 |
| [08:57] | Uh-huh. I can scoop out the carrots. | 好 我可以挑出胡萝卜 |
| [09:01] | And Anna-Kat has to make a model of a cell for science class. | 安娜凯特得做科学课的细胞模型作业 |
| [09:04] | And stress brings out her mean streak. | 压力能逼出她刻薄的一面 |
| [09:09] | How about a cell made out of papier-mâché? | 用制型纸做个细胞怎么样 |
| [09:12] | That’s actually not a terrible idea. | 这不是一个坏主意 |
| [09:14] | Look at me, solving problems. | 看我 解决问题 |
| [09:15] | Mom of the year! Now get to it. | 年度最佳妈妈 快做 |
| [09:18] | I don’t know how to papier-mâché. | 我不懂怎么做 |
| [09:19] | Well, I certainly don’t. | 我也不懂 |
| [09:21] | It’s no wonder your husband left you. | 难怪你老公不要你了 |
| [09:25] | And Taylor lost her volleyball jersey. | 泰勒的排球队服不见了 |
| [09:27] | And when she gets under the gun, she gets overwhelmed. | 她受到威胁时 就会不知所措 |
| [09:31] | I can’t play without my jersey, | 没有队服我怎么比赛 |
| [09:33] | and — and if I don’t play, we’ll lose. | 我不比赛 我们会输 |
| [09:35] | This game sets the tone for the entire season, | 这次比赛打下了整个赛季的基调 |
| [09:37] | and we won’t win a game all year, | 我们整年都不会赢 |
| [09:38] | and it’ll all be my fault! | 那都是我的错 |
| [09:39] | – It’s gonna be okay. – No, it won’t! | -不会有事的 -有事 |
| [09:41] | Everyone will hate me! Like, really hate me! | 所有人都会恨我 真的恨我 |
| [09:43] | And I’ll lose all my friends! | 我会失去所有朋友 |
| [09:45] | Blonde to blonde, you’re failing me right now! | 金发对金发 你现在真让我失望 |
| [09:47] | I am doing the best I can! | 我已经尽力了 |
| [09:49] | Why are you yelling at me?! | 你为什么吼我 |
| [09:50] | I’m just matching your energy! | 我只是在配合你 |
| [09:52] | Well, at least you have a husband to take care of them. | 至少你有老公可以照顾他们 |
| [09:54] | Oh, Adam. He can’t even set up a printer. | 亚当 他连打印机都装不好 |
| [09:56] | For two years, it has sat in his office untouched. | 两年来 一直放在他的办公室没动过 |
| [09:59] | It’s not a NordicTrack. | 这不是跑步机 |
| [10:01] | It’s a printer! Set it up! | 这是打印机 装起来 |
| [10:02] | Katie, come back to me. | 凯蒂 别跑题太远 |
| [10:04] | Oh, sorry. Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [10:05] | Today’s about me. | 今天重点是我 |
| [10:06] | The mom switch is turned off. | 妈妈模式下线了 |
| [10:08] | And you left the flawless-skin switch turned on. | 你把完美皮肤的模式打开了 |
| [10:11] | Oh, Adam, I have loved you | 亚当 自从我发现 |
| [10:12] | ever since the moment I found out | 你在高中时重300磅 |
| [10:14] | you weighed 300 pounds in high school. | 我就爱上了你 |
| [10:16] | Have I ever shown you my excess skin? | 我给你看过我的赘肉皮吗 |
| [10:18] | No. | 没有 |
| [10:20] | Greg, when were you and Katie planning on telling me | 格雷格 你和凯蒂打算什么时候告诉我 |
| [10:23] | your kids were completely horrible? | 你们的孩子很可怕 |
| [10:26] | Okay, you’re about the 12th person I’ve talked to. | 我已经跟11个人谈过了 |
| [10:28] | Do not transfer me. | 别再叫别人接 |
| [10:30] | I’ve done all the steps — | 我已经完成了所有步骤 |
| [10:31] | unplugged, replugged, factory reset. | 拔插头 重插 恢复出厂设置 |
| [10:33] | I’m still getting a J5 error. | 依然出现J5错误 |
| [10:35] | Well, I appreciate that you’re sorry to hear that, | 我谢谢你觉得遗憾 |
| [10:37] | but I know the “I’m about to transfer you” Voice | 但我知道”我帮你转其他人” |
| [10:39] | when I hear it, so don’t you — | 的口气 你别 |
| [10:42] | Main menu! | 主菜单 |
| [10:49] | You’re gonna have a J5 error in hell! | 你在地狱J5错误去吧 |
| [10:51] | It’s so funny! | 太搞笑了 |
| [10:52] | Everyone says Katie is the dangerous parent. | 大家都说凯蒂是暴力家长 |
| [10:55] | Viv, I’m gonna go get a new printer. | 维芙 我去买打印机 |
| [10:57] | You’ve got the kids. | 你照顾孩子 |
| [10:58] | Wha– I… | 什么 我 |
| [11:16] | It’s Katie. Leave a message. | 我是凯蒂 留下口信 |
| [11:17] | Katie, your kids are killing me and your husband’s gone crazy | 凯蒂 你孩子快要了我的命 你老公疯了 |
| [11:21] | and there’s no hired help to yell at, so… | 没有佣人让我骂了出气 所以 |
| [11:24] | can you call me back? | 你能回电吗 |
| [11:25] | Where are you? | 你在哪里 |
| [11:29] | I don’t see why kids love this so much. | 我不懂为什么孩子喜欢这个 |
| [11:30] | If we are in Jurassic times, where are all the dinosaurs? | 如果我们在侏罗纪时代 恐龙呢 |
| [11:34] | Katie, behind you. | 凯蒂 在你后面 |
| [11:38] | Run! | 跑 |
| [11:42] | Oh, hey, Anna-Kat. How’s it going? | 安娜凯特 怎么样了 |
| [11:44] | Not good. | 不好 |
| [11:45] | Let me explain how school projects work. | 我来解释下学校作业的规矩 |
| [11:48] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [11:48] | I do a quarter of it. | 我做四分之一 |
| [11:50] | A parent gets fed up and does the other three quarters. | 家长要做完四分之三 |
| [11:54] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [11:58] | Mitochondria. | 线粒体 |
| [12:01] | Oh, I think I had that in college once. | 我大学时得过一次这个病 |
| [12:03] | Y-You drink cranberry juice to get rid of it. | 喝蔓越莓汁可以好 |
| [12:05] | I want Jell-O with banana medallions. | 我要果冻配香蕉 |
| [12:07] | Okay. Okay. | 好的 |
| [12:12] | I don’t see any Jell-O. | 我没看到果冻 |
| [12:13] | That’s because you have to make it. | 那是因为你得做出来 |
| [12:16] | I can scoop out the carrots. | 我可以挑出胡萝卜 |
| [12:20] | That was your fault, Viv. | 这是你的错 维芙 |
| [12:23] | Oh, my God. Are you okay? | 我的天 你还好吧 |
| [12:25] | This is what happens when I get anxious. | 我焦虑时就会这样 |
| [12:27] | If you could just find my jersey, | 如果你能找到我的队服 |
| [12:28] | everything would be fine! | 就会没事了 |
| [12:29] | No, no, you need paper towels. | 不 你需要纸巾 |
| [12:31] | Just because you look like a Chihuahua | 你长得像吉娃娃 |
| [12:33] | doesn’t mean you have to have the attention span of one. | 并不代表你有着超窄的注意力范围 |
| [12:36] | Now start helping me. | 现在开始帮我 |
| [12:37] | Aah! God! | 老天 |
| [12:39] | That’s so gross. That’s so gross! | 太恶心了 |
| [12:40] | That’s it! That’s it! | 够了 够了 |
| [12:42] | That’s it! We’re going back to your mother. | 够了 去找你们妈妈 |
| [12:45] | Let’s go. Get in the car! | 我们走 上车 |
| [12:47] | Oh! Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [12:48] | I can’t shield you! I’m too pretty for this! | 我不能保护你 我太美了做不来这个 |
| [12:51] | I really am! I’m too pretty for this! | 我太美了做不来这个 |
| [12:55] | Oh, look, a mini WD-40. | 看 迷你防锈剂 |
| [12:58] | This is going to solve so many of our problems. | 这个将解决好多问题 |
| [13:08] | I love it here. | 我喜欢这里 |
| [13:09] | You can stroll around for hours | 可以逛几个小时 |
| [13:11] | while both helping and neglecting your family. | 同时帮助并无视家人 |
| [13:14] | She gets it. | 她懂 |
| [13:16] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [13:18] | Katie? | 凯蒂 |
| [13:19] | What are you doing in my house of worship? | 你来我的礼拜堂做什么 |
| [13:21] | Are you buying a new printer? | 你在买新的打印机 |
| [13:23] | What is wrong with our old new printer? | 旧的新打印机怎么了 |
| [13:25] | I tried setting it up, but the latest software update | 我想装好 但最新的软件更新 |
| [13:27] | basically made it incompatible with our computer. | 令它和我们的电脑不兼容 |
| [13:29] | So we wasted 150 bucks | 我们浪费了150块 |
| [13:31] | because you didn’t set up a printer for two years?! | 因为你两年没装好打印机 |
| [13:33] | – Is this guy bothering you? – She’s fine. | -他烦着你了吗 -她没事 |
| [13:35] | I’m not talking to you. | 我没和你说话 |
| [13:36] | Adam, this is Greg. | 亚当 这是格雷格 |
| [13:38] | Oh, as in “Husband Greg”? | 原来是老公格雷格 |
| [13:40] | He’s buying a new printer. | 他在买新的打印机 |
| [13:43] | He couldn’t get the old one set up? | 他装不好原来那个 |
| [13:44] | Who is this? | 这是谁 |
| [13:46] | You had two years! | 你有两年时间 |
| [13:48] | That printer was in the box for two years. | 打印机在盒子里两年 |
| [13:50] | She even couldn’t print out a single recipe. | 她连一张食谱都打不出来 |
| [13:52] | What’s happening right now? | 这是什么情况 |
| [13:53] | Everything she does for you, and you call her a “Nag”?! | 她为你做了那么多事 你居然说她唠叨 |
| [13:56] | I never called her a nag. I said she was nagging. | 我没说她唠叨 我说她正在唠叨 |
| [13:58] | Oh, semantics! | 咬文嚼字 |
| [13:59] | You are a saint. | 你是圣人 |
| [14:01] | This woman is a saint! | 这个女人是圣人 |
| [14:02] | I got it from here. | 交给我吧 |
| [14:03] | Oh, I printed out your sample invitations, | 我打印了你的邀请函样本 |
| [14:05] | and I used a font called “Samosas.” | 我用了咖喱角字体 |
| [14:08] | Look at that, Greg. | 瞧啊 格雷格 |
| [14:09] | He was gone just a little less than two years. | 他只是离开了不到两年的时间 |
| [14:13] | Can we speak someplace a little more private? | 我们能私下聊聊吗 |
| [14:14] | Fine. Thank you, Adam. | 好 谢谢你 亚当 |
| [14:17] | A saint! | 圣人 |
| [14:21] | You shared every detail of our lives with the Hideaway guy? | 你把我们的生活点滴都告诉了超市员工 |
| [14:24] | He has a name! Adam. | 他有名字 他叫亚当 |
| [14:26] | Adam something. | 亚当什么 |
| [14:28] | Do you know how infuriating this is? | 你知道这令人多生气吗 |
| [14:31] | What are you doing? | 你做什么 |
| [14:32] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [14:33] | We’re fighting in front of a bed. It just felt right. | 我们站在床前吵 感觉上来才对 |
| [14:35] | Mama! | 妈妈 |
| [14:36] | Oh, Katie. Thank God. | 凯蒂 谢天谢地 |
| [14:37] | How did you find me? | 你怎么找到我的 |
| [14:39] | Oh, it was easy. | 简单 |
| [14:40] | I called the cellphone people, pretended I was you, | 我给手机运营商打电话 假装是你 |
| [14:42] | got your password, signed into your account, | 拿到你的密码 登录你的号码 |
| [14:43] | and searched for your phone, and boom. | 寻找你的手机 找到了 |
| [14:44] | But that’s not important. | 但这不重要 |
| [14:46] | Your kids need a mom, and it is not me. | 你的孩子需要妈妈 我不是这块料 |
| [14:49] | Any chance you found my volleyball jersey? | 你找到我的排球队服了吗 |
| [14:51] | Yeah, it’s crumpled up on the floor over there | 是 在地板上皱皱巴巴的 |
| [14:53] | with my happiness and any semblance | 和我的快乐以及 |
| [14:55] | of me having a life outside you people. | 没有你们的假想生活在一起 |
| [14:57] | Ah. Oh, cool. | 很好 |
| [15:02] | Mom, did you accidentally get me the drowsy stuff? | 妈 你是不小心给我喝嗜睡的药吗 |
| [15:06] | No way. I drugged you on purpose. | 不可能 我是故意的 |
| [15:08] | Now close your eyes and let the medicine work its magic. | 现在闭上眼睛 让药发挥神效 |
| [15:11] | I need toothpicks for Anna-Kat’s project. | 安娜凯特的作业 我需要牙签 |
| [15:13] | Where are they? Aisle J5. | 在哪里 J5货道 |
| [15:15] | J5 J5. | |
| [15:16] | Now the world is just messing with me. | 老天在耍我吧 |
| [15:19] | Now, relax. | 现在 放轻松 |
| [15:20] | Your jersey was on your desk chair. | 你的队服在写字椅上 |
| [15:24] | Then where did it go? | 后来去哪里了 |
| [15:26] | It was on my chair… | 在椅子上 |
| [15:28] | …and then my chair fell… | 椅子倒了 |
| [15:30] | …and it knocked over a Frappuccino, | 打翻了星冰乐 |
| [15:32] | so I had to use my jersey to mop it up. | 我用队服去擦 |
| [15:35] | Where? On the carpet? | 哪里 地毯上吗 |
| [15:37] | Did it stain? | 留下印记了吗 |
| [15:38] | I knew you’d be mad… | 我知道你会生气 |
| [15:40] | …so I shoved my jersey underneath my mattress | 所以我把队服塞到床垫下 |
| [15:43] | to hide the evidence. | 隐藏证据 |
| [15:44] | It’s underneath my mattress! | 在床垫下 |
| [15:46] | You did it, Mom! | 你做到了 妈 |
| [15:47] | How is someone so cute so disgusting? | 为什么这么可爱的人儿这么恶心 |
| [15:59] | Parenting is not easy. | 当妈不容易 |
| [16:01] | Don’t beat yourself up. | 别为难自己 |
| [16:03] | You did your best. | 你尽力了 |
| [16:04] | It’s a tough gig. | 任务太重 |
| [16:06] | Well, not for you. | 对你来说不是 |
| [16:07] | Within five minutes, you knew how to deal | 五分钟内 你知道如何处理 |
| [16:09] | with every single one of their problems. | 他们每个人的问题 |
| [16:11] | Sure, only because I’m incredible. | 当然 只因为我太优秀了 |
| [16:14] | But not everyone can do it. | 但不是每个人都能做到 |
| [16:16] | And that is a good thing. | 这是好事 |
| [16:18] | You tried it, it doesn’t suit you, | 你试了 不适合你 |
| [16:20] | so now you know you’re one of those people | 所以现在你知道你属于那种 |
| [16:21] | that’s just not meant to be a mom. | 天生不适合做妈妈的人 |
| [16:24] | I think I’m pregnant. | 我想我怀孕了 |
| [16:27] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:27] | I’m two weeks late. | 大姨妈迟了两个星期 |
| [16:30] | Could it be perimenopau– | 有可能是绝经吗 |
| [16:30] | Shut your whole mouth! | 闭嘴 |
| [16:33] | What did the test say? | 验孕什么结果 |
| [16:34] | I haven’t taken one. I’m freaking out, Katie. | 我还没做 我怕死了 凯蒂 |
| [16:36] | I’m freaking out. | 我怕死了 |
| [16:39] | I need you to go get a pregnancy test | 你去拿个验孕棒 |
| [16:41] | and meet us over at the bathrooms. | 我们厕所见 |
| [16:42] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [16:43] | Not for me. For Viv. | 不是我 是维芙 |
| [16:45] | Oh. Really? | 真的吗 |
| [16:48] | Oh, God. | 我的天 |
| [16:51] | Aah! Well… | 好的 |
| [16:54] | I’m not pregnant. | 我没怀孕 |
| [16:55] | Oh! I knew it. | 我就知道 |
| [16:56] | You dodged a huge bullet. | 你躲过一劫 |
| [16:58] | Thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
| [17:00] | Viv… | 维芙 |
| [17:01] | there’s a “Plus.” | 这是加号 |
| [17:02] | Yeah, plus. Good news. | 对 加号 好消息 |
| [17:04] | It doesn’t go by your mood. | 不是根据你的心情来的 |
| [17:07] | Positive means pregnant. | 加号表示怀孕 |
| [17:13] | I’m pregnant? | 我怀孕了 |
| [17:20] | Sorry. It says “Press me.” | 抱歉 这上面写着”按我” |
| [17:26] | Today made me realize | 今天让我意识到 |
| [17:26] | that I have no idea what to do with a kid, and I never will. | 我不知道怎么照顾孩子 我永远不懂 |
| [17:30] | Just so you know, Viv, before Taylor was born, | 你要知道 维芙 泰勒出生前 |
| [17:33] | I was exactly where you are right now. | 我和你现在一模一样 |
| [17:36] | Skinny and super attractive? | 苗条加超级迷人 |
| [17:38] | Well, yeah, but I mean emotionally. | 对 但我指情感上 |
| [17:41] | I never thought that I was mom material. | 我从没想过我是当妈的料 |
| [17:45] | That’s right. | 没错 |
| [17:45] | When Katie was 9 months pregnant, | 凯蒂怀孕九个月时 |
| [17:47] | she looked me dead in the eye and said, | 她死死盯着我的眼晴说 |
| [17:48] | “I can’t do this. | 我做不来这个 |
| [17:49] | It’s all yours. | 全靠你了 |
| [17:51] | Raise it. Good luck. | 养大她 祝你好运 |
| [17:53] | Call me if she becomes a famous athlete | 如果她变成著名运动员就打我电话 |
| [17:54] | so I can get in on that endorsement money.” | 这样我可以拿代言的钱 |
| [17:57] | But the minute she held Taylor in her arms, | 但她把泰勒抱在怀里时 |
| [17:59] | that mom switch turned on. | 妈妈模式就开启了 |
| [18:00] | Knot. | 解开 |
| [18:01] | And today is a reminder | 今天就是提醒我 |
| [18:03] | that once your mom switch is turned on… | 一旦妈妈模式开启 |
| [18:07] | it’s always on. | 就会永远开启 |
| [18:09] | Even when you’re hiding out from your family | 哪怕你在最心爱的仓储店 |
| [18:10] | at your favorite big-box retailer. | 躲着家人的时候 |
| [18:12] | But what if I don’t have a mom switch at all? | 万一我根本没有妈妈模式开关呢 |
| [18:18] | I just — I need a minute. | 我需要点时间 |
| [18:24] | “Press me.” | 按我 |
| [18:36] | How are you doing? | 你好吗 |
| [18:37] | I’ve never been more scared in my life. | 我这辈子没这么害怕过 |
| [18:41] | Can you help me find my mommy? | 你能帮我找我的妈妈吗 |
| [18:45] | Well, there’s a security guard over there. | 那边有保安 |
| [18:47] | I’m sure he can probably help you. | 我相信他能帮你 |
| [18:48] | No, the family rule is if you ever get lost, | 不 家里的规矩是如果走丢了 |
| [18:51] | go ask another mommy for help. | 寻求其他妈妈的帮助 |
| [18:54] | You think I’m a mommy? | 你觉得我是妈妈 |
| [18:57] | She thinks I’m a mommy! | 她觉得我是妈妈 |
| [19:00] | Yes, of course, I can help you. | 我当然可以帮你 |
| [19:03] | You’re so pretty! | 你真漂亮 |
| [19:05] | Do you think I’m pretty? | 你觉得我漂亮吗 |
| [19:09] | I think we just saw Viv’s mom switch get turned on. | 我想我们刚看到维芙的妈妈模式开启了 |
| [19:14] | How do you think she’ll do? | 你觉得她会怎么样 |
| [19:15] | Ugh. If that horrible troll Heather | 如果那个可怕的巨魔海瑟 |
| [19:16] | can have four of them, anyone can. | 可能有四个孩子 谁都可以 |
| [19:18] | Who’s Heather? | 谁是海瑟 |
| [19:20] | Oh, sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [19:22] | Wrong husband. | 应该对另一个老公说 |
| [19:29] | So, you just let Greg buy another printer | 你让格雷格买了一个他永远不会 |
| [19:33] | that he’s never gonna set up? | 装起来的打印机 |
| [19:34] | Don’t you take that tone with her. | 别用这种语气跟她说话 |
| [19:36] | It was her only move. The woman needs to print. | 她只能这样做 这个女人需要打印 |
| [19:38] | We know. | 我们知道 |
| [19:39] | We’ve had to hear about Greg’s technical incompetence | 过去两年我们必须听她抱怨 |
| [19:42] | for the last two years. | 格雷格是技术白痴 |
| [19:44] | You’ve known about this for two years? | 你们知道这事两年了 |
| [19:47] | What kind of friends are you | 你们算是哪门子朋友 |
| [19:48] | that you didn’t step in and do something? | 居然什么也没做 |
| [19:50] | This woman is a saint! | 这个女人是圣人 |
| [19:52] | Adam, it’s okay. They’re the good guys. | 亚当 没关系 她们是好人 |
| [19:54] | Well, they should start acting like it! | 她们应该开始表现得像个好人 |
| [19:57] | Wait. You ordered the pancakes, not the waffles. | 等等 你点的是煎饼不是华夫饼 |
| [20:00] | Where’s that waiter? | 服务员呢 |
| [20:02] | Hey! You! | 喂 你 |
| [20:04] | This is not gonna be a regular thing. | 别想着拉他每天来 |
| [20:06] | Yep. Yep. Understood. | 是 我懂 |
| [20:07] | You need to apologize right now. | 你需要现在道歉 |
| [20:09] | She ordered blueberry pancakes with a dusting of powdered sugar. | 她点的是蓝莓外加洒糖粉 |
| [20:12] | A dusting! | 洒糖粉 |