| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Flavor of Westport, | “西港的风味” |
| [00:05] | where the hippest restaurants in town | 在这里 市里最时尚的餐厅 |
| [00:07] | offer samples of their signature dishes. | 派送他们招牌菜的试吃品 |
| [00:09] | Quinoa pie, kale on a stick. | 藜麦派 甘蓝串 |
| [00:12] | Things I would eat if I was on the show “Survivor” | 这些是我在《幸存者》节目中会吃的东西 |
| [00:13] | and I already ate every rat on the island. | 而且我已经吃完了岛上的所有老鼠 |
| [00:16] | Greg, Katie, hi! | 格雷格 凯蒂 你们好 |
| [00:18] | This is also a great place to bump into the people | 这里也是一个碰上熟人的好地方 |
| [00:20] | I spend all week trying to avoid. | 我一整周都想避开的熟人 |
| [00:22] | Have you guys heard about the big shake-up at school? | 你们听说了学校的大变动吗 |
| [00:25] | Did one of those lonely moms finally do 10 minutes in the shed | 有个寂寞的妈妈终于和那个性感园丁 |
| [00:27] | with that sexy groundskeeper? | 在小木屋里搞了十分钟 |
| [00:28] | No. | 不 |
| [00:29] | The new chairs I’ve been fighting for were approved. | 我拼命争取的椅子被批准了 |
| [00:31] | We now have lumbar support for our children! | 现在我们的孩子有腰部支撑了 |
| [00:34] | Three things happen when you become parents. | 做父母后会发生三件事 |
| [00:35] | You buy a minivan, | 买小型厢式车 |
| [00:37] | you use the word “Potty” around adults, | 在成人面前说”便壶”这个词 |
| [00:38] | and every conversation becomes about the kids. | 所以谈话都是与孩子有关的 |
| [00:41] | We have so much children’s medicine in the house, | 我们家里有好多孩子的药 |
| [00:44] | but I can never find those little plastic measuring thingies. | 但我总是找不到那种塑料的测量工具 |
| [00:46] | Where do they go? | 去哪里了 |
| [00:48] | Probably hanging out with all the missing socks. | 可能和失踪的袜子在一起玩 |
| [00:52] | Missing socks! | 失踪的袜子 |
| [00:53] | This is so boring. | 真无聊 |
| [00:58] | Beets, fish oil, pollen, and — | 甜菜 鱼油 花粉 还有 |
| [01:02] | oh, I’m forgetting one — peanuts! | 我忘了一个 花生 |
| [01:04] | Those are all of Holden’s allergies. | 这些是霍尔登过敏的东西 |
| [01:06] | Okay. Now I’ll go. | 好了 到我了 |
| [01:07] | Hay weed, gluten, | 干草 麸质品 |
| [01:10] | – hypoallergenic foam… – Super boring. | -低过敏性沐浴露 -超级无聊 |
| [01:13] | I can’t believe you left me with that couple. | 我不敢相信你把我扔给那对夫妻 |
| [01:15] | They took me through the entire evolution | 他们带我经历了一遍他们儿子 |
| [01:16] | of their son’s pronunciation of “Blueberry.” | 对”蓝莓”发音的演变 |
| [01:18] | Don’t recap that conversation for me. | 别对我重复这番对话 |
| [01:20] | I actually sat in a hot Port-a-Potty | 我坐在热死人的移动厕所里 |
| [01:22] | for 20 minutes to avoid it. | 20分钟躲过一劫 |
| [01:23] | We should go. | 我们得走了 |
| [01:25] | I have to help Anna-Kat write a five-minute story | 我得帮安娜凯特写个五分钟的故事 |
| [01:26] | for the Kid Lit assembly this weekend. | 这周末的儿童故事会上要读 |
| [01:27] | I think she focuses better after a string cheese. | 我觉得她吃奶酪棒后更能专心 |
| [01:29] | But not the yellow kind or the white kind. | 但不能吃那种黄色或白色的 |
| [01:31] | The yellow-swirled-with-white kind. | 得吃那种白色带黄色盘旋图案的 |
| [01:33] | Cheddarella. | 切得瑞拉 |
| [01:34] | Remember that time we gave her the store brand? | 还记得那次我们给她吃商店品牌的吗 |
| [01:35] | Yikes-arella. | 恶心瑞拉 |
| [01:36] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [01:38] | Now we’re boring ourselves. | 现在我们在让自己觉得无聊 |
| [01:39] | We have no life outside of our kids. | 我们没有孩子以外的生活 |
| [01:41] | That’s not true. | 不是这样 |
| [01:43] | Okay, the other day, I was carpool lane — | 那天 我在拼车道… |
| [01:44] | Uhp, that’s the kids. Never mind. We have no life. | 也是孩子 算了 我们没生活 |
| [01:47] | Hold that thought. | 先等等 |
| [01:48] | My trans-fat sense is tingling. | 我的反式脂肪感觉有反应 |
| [01:50] | I smell something… fried. | 我闻到了油炸的东西 |
| [01:54] | …they must be hanging out with the missing socks, right? | 它们肯定和失踪的袜子在一起玩 |
| [01:57] | Hey, that’s my line. | 那是我的台词 |
| [02:02] | Greg, at my funeral, along with bagpipes, | 格雷格 在我的葬礼上 除了风笛 |
| [02:05] | I want funnel cakes. | 我还要油炸饼 |
| [02:06] | I haven’t tasted a funnel cake this good | 我上次吃到这么好吃的油炸饼 |
| [02:08] | since the Florida State Fair. | 还是在佛州农贸集会上 |
| [02:10] | Are you from Florida? | 你们来自佛州吗 |
| [02:11] | Yeah, born and raised. | 对 土生土长 |
| [02:13] | We just moved here from Myrtle Grove. | 我们刚从莫特戈鲁夫搬来 |
| [02:14] | We used to play you guys in football! | 我们以前有橄榄球赛 |
| [02:16] | What?! | 什么 |
| [02:18] | We must’ve partied at the same tailgate at the Speedway. | 我们肯定参加过高速公路的同一个车尾派对 |
| [02:22] | Do you know the secret about the beer stand by the Quaker State sign? | 你知道贵格州标牌旁边啤酒摊的秘密吗 |
| [02:24] | Flash ’em for a six pack? | 露胸部换六瓶啤酒 |
| [02:25] | I never paid for a beer in four years. | 我四年都没付啤酒钱 |
| [02:28] | Hold on. | 慢着 |
| [02:29] | You’re familiar with John Stuart Mill? | 你很熟悉约翰·斯图尔特·米尔 |
| [02:30] | – Of course! – You don’t understand, | -当然 -你不知道 |
| [02:32] | you’re the first person to ever say that to me. | 你是第一个这样对我说的人 |
| [02:34] | No, no, I understand. | 不 我知道 |
| [02:35] | We’re two Mill-heads. Okay. | 我们是两个米尔粉 好了 |
| [02:37] | Your favorite essay collection on three. | 数到三 说出你最爱的论文 |
| [02:38] | One, two, three. | 一二三 |
| [02:40] | “Two Letters on the Measure of Value”! | 价值尺度的两封信 |
| [02:44] | So, have you gotten a feel for the town? | 你对这里有想法吗 |
| [02:46] | Oh, yeah. | 有 |
| [02:47] | They should change their motto to | 这里的座右铭应该改成 |
| [02:48] | “Westport — our foreheads haven’t moved since 1862.” | 西港 我们的额头自1862年就没动过 |
| [02:51] | Yeah, yeah. | 对 |
| [02:52] | “Westport — our women own | 西港 这里的女人拥有 |
| [02:54] | 80% of the world’s tennis skirts.” | 全世界80%的网球裙 |
| [02:57] | Hey, babe, we better get going. | 亲爱的 我们得走了 |
| [02:58] | Where you off to? | 你们去哪里 |
| [03:00] | Oh, we have tickets for a cruise around Sagatuck. | 我们有塞格塔克的邮轮观光票 |
| [03:02] | But, hey, we should get together sometime. | 我们应该改天一起玩 |
| [03:04] | Here is my card. | 这是我的名片 |
| [03:04] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [03:05] | – See you, guys. – See you later. | -回见 -回见 |
| [03:07] | Bye! | 拜拜 |
| [03:09] | I loved her! | 我爱她 |
| [03:10] | I loved him! | 我爱他 |
| [03:11] | I can’t believe we finally found a couple that we both like! | 真不敢相信我们找到了我们都喜欢的夫妻 |
| [03:13] | Don’t get your hopes up about Courtney and Zach. | 别对科特尼和扎克期望太高 |
| [03:15] | I saw them move in. | 他们搬来时我看到了 |
| [03:17] | They don’t have kids. | 他们没有孩子 |
| [03:18] | Damn. | 见鬼 |
| [03:19] | Why? What’s the big deal? | 怎么了 这有什么 |
| [03:21] | Couples without kids hate couples with kids. | 没孩子的夫妻讨厌有孩子的夫妻 |
| [03:24] | Then he said “Boo-bewwy.” | 他说的是”布莓莓” |
| [03:26] | Wait. No. | 慢着 不 |
| [03:27] | First, three months, he said “Bwoo-bewwy.” | 最先三个月 他说的是”乌莓莓” |
| [03:31] | ‘Cause couples with kids are so b-o-o-oring. | 因为有孩子的夫妻太无聊 |
| [03:37] | Looks good. | 看起来不错 |
| [03:48] | I was thinking. | 我在想 |
| [03:49] | Is it so inconceivable we could be friends with Courtney and Zach? | 我们和科特尼 扎克做朋友不太可行吗 |
| [03:51] | These people have exciting lives. | 他们有精彩的生活 |
| [03:53] | They don’t want to hang out with parents. | 他们不会想和当父母的一起玩 |
| [03:55] | We’ve got baggage. | 我们有负担 |
| [03:57] | Here comes the middle bag now. | 排行第二的负担来了 |
| [03:59] | Mom, a word about the quality of our lunches. | 妈 说下午餐的质量 |
| [04:02] | – Are they not up to your standards? – No. | -没有达到你的要求吗 -没 |
| [04:04] | Would it kill you to dry the lettuce | 你在做三明治前先弄干生菜 |
| [04:06] | before you make the sandwich? | 你会死吗 |
| [04:07] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [04:08] | Would it kill you if I put you in burlap sack | 如果我把你装进粗麻袋 |
| [04:10] | with a couple of bricks and threw you off a bridge? | 加上砖扔下桥 你会死吗 |
| [04:13] | I think you should go. | 我想你应该走了 |
| [04:16] | What if we just don’t mention the kids? | 我们不提孩子怎么样 |
| [04:17] | Interesting. | 有意思 |
| [04:19] | – So you want to lie? – Not lie. | -你想说谎 -不是说谎 |
| [04:20] | Just hide the truth until they’re deeper in the relationship. | 只是在建立深厚的感情前先隐藏事实 |
| [04:23] | You know, like you did when we were dating. | 就像我们约会时你做的 |
| [04:24] | You thought I liked foreign films. | 你以为我喜欢外国电影 |
| [04:26] | Ooh, “Chocolat”! | 《浓情巧克力》 |
| [04:27] | That was in English. | 那是英语的 |
| [04:29] | It felt foreign. | 感觉像国外的 |
| [04:29] | But you’re right. | 但你是对的 |
| [04:31] | We just won’t mention the kids. | 我们不提孩子就成 |
| [04:33] | – Let me do the talking. – Why? | -我来说 -为什么 |
| [04:34] | Because your voice gets all high when you’re nervous. | 因为你紧张时声音会变尖 |
| [04:36] | It does? | 是吗 |
| [04:37] | Is that why they’re always calling me “Ma’am” | 所以我在得来速点餐时 |
| [04:39] | when I order at drive-throughs? | 他们叫我女士 |
| [04:40] | Who the hell gets nervous at a drive-through? | 谁会在得来速点餐时紧张 |
| [04:42] | It’s a lot of pressure. | 压力好大 |
| [04:43] | People are waiting. They can’t always hear you. | 后面有人在等 里面的人听不到点单 |
| [04:45] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
| [04:47] | – But put it on speaker so I can hear. – Okay. | -打开扬声器让我听 -好 |
| [04:51] | – Hello? – Hey, Zach, it’s Katie. | -喂 -扎克 我是凯蒂 |
| [04:53] | Oh, hey, Katie. | 凯蒂 |
| [04:54] | Courtney and I were just talking about you guys. | 科特尼和我正在说你们 |
| [04:55] | Us, too. | 我们也说到你们 |
| [04:57] | We figured why not call and make a plan to hang out. | 我们就想着何不打个电话做个安排 |
| [04:59] | How about dinner tomorrow night? | 明天吃晚饭怎么样 |
| [05:00] | Oh, hey, Courtney! Works for us. | 科特尼 我们可以去 |
| [05:02] | We found this great off-the-beaten-path Vietnamese place. | 我们找到一家非常棒的冷门越南餐厅 |
| [05:06] | – You guys like pho? – Fo sho! | -你们喜欢河粉吗 -当然 |
| [05:08] | Perfect. See you guys tomorrow night. | 完美 明晚见 |
| [05:10] | – Who’s the man?! – I am! | -谁是爷们 -我是 |
| [05:12] | – Who’s the woman?! – That’s not a saying! | -谁是娘们 -没这种说法 |
| [05:13] | Feels sexist leaving you out! | 不带你玩有些性别歧视 |
| [05:15] | We can’t do this kind of crap tomorrow night! | 我们明晚可不能这样表现 |
| [05:20] | Okay, ground rules for tonight. | 好的 今晚的基本要求 |
| [05:21] | Taylor’s in charge, | 泰勒负责 |
| [05:23] | and there can be no more disasters. | 不能再发生灾难 |
| [05:24] | What do you mean by disasters? | 什么叫灾难 |
| [05:26] | Last time we let you babysit, | 上次让你照看孩子 |
| [05:27] | you guys played hide-and-seek with Anna-Kat | 你们和安娜凯特玩捉迷藏 |
| [05:28] | and gave up without telling her. | 没告诉她就放弃了 |
| [05:29] | She was zipped inside an old suitcase for five hours. | 她拉上拉链在旧行李箱里待了五个小时 |
| [05:32] | We didn’t give up. | 我们没放弃 |
| [05:33] | We just never looked. | 我们只是没找她 |
| [05:34] | This is your last shot. | 这是你最后的机会 |
| [05:36] | If you can’t prove that you’re responsible, | 如果你无法证明你是负责任的 |
| [05:38] | then you can’t go to the concert with your friends next week. | 那么下周你就不能和朋友去听演唱会 |
| [05:40] | – Got it? – Got it. | -明白吗 -明白 |
| [05:42] | This dinner we’re going to is important, | 我们要参加的晚餐非常重要 |
| [05:44] | so don’t call unless it’s really an emergency. | 除非是真的有紧急事 才能打电话找我们 |
| [05:46] | That means only call from the hospital | 就是说只能从医院打来 |
| [05:48] | and not just from the waiting room. | 还不能在候诊室打 |
| [05:49] | Call once you’re admitted and stretched out on one of those wheely beds. | 你们躺在轮床上了再打 |
| [05:54] | Wait. You guys can’t leave. | 等等 你们不能走 |
| [05:56] | I want to tell you what happened on my show, “Adventure Cats.” | 我想跟你们讲讲我看的《冒险猫》的情节 |
| [05:58] | Let’s get out of here | 我们快走 |
| [05:59] | before she recounts every minute in real time. | 她会复述每一分钟的情节 |
| [06:01] | So, Captain Meowington was leading an expedition | 喵温顿上尉乘竹筏在亚马逊河上 |
| [06:05] | down the Amazon River on a bamboo raft… | 领导远征 |
| [06:07] | That’s so exciting! Go, go, go, go, go! | 好激动 快走 |
| [06:09] | And then a snake just fell down out of the trees, | 然后一条蛇从树上掉下来 |
| [06:12] | right onto Captain Meowington’s lap. | 正好掉在喵温顿上尉的大腿上 |
| [06:15] | Oh! The snake episode! | 蛇的那一集 |
| [06:18] | Oliver was just asking how it ends. | 奥利弗正在问后面怎样了 |
| [06:21] | Tell him. | 告诉他 |
| [06:22] | Don’t waste another minute on us. | 别在我们身上浪费时间 |
| [06:27] | All right, let’s clear our heads of all of that. | 好了 把头脑里的东西清干净 |
| [06:31] | Shake it off. | 统统忘掉 |
| [06:32] | Remember, we don’t have kids. | 记住 我们没孩子 |
| [06:35] | Did we leave them enough money for pizza? | 给他们的钱足够买披萨吗 |
| [06:37] | – I think so. – Wrong! | -我想是的 -错 |
| [06:39] | The correct answer is “Who?” | 正确的答案是”谁” |
| [06:40] | because we don’t have kids. | 因为我们没孩子 |
| [06:42] | Be better! | 表现好点 |
| [06:43] | Noted. | 知道了 |
| [06:44] | – All right, let’s do this. – Greg! | -我们走 -格雷格 |
| [06:45] | Your keychain. | 你的钥匙扣 |
| [06:48] | Oh, my God! | 我的天 |
| [06:51] | I’ll get the spare. | 我去拿备用钥匙 |
| [06:52] | Okay. | 好 |
| [06:54] | Then Captain Meowington | 然后喵温顿上尉 |
| [06:56] | gave up his rank and command to raise his kittens. | 放弃了军衔和指挥权 去抚养他的小猫咪 |
| [06:59] | Really? I knew he had a heart of gold. | 是吗 我就知道他是个好人 |
| [07:00] | Greg! | 格雷格 |
| [07:01] | Sorry about that. | 抱歉 |
| [07:06] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [07:11] | Anna-Kat, dinner! | 安娜凯特 晚饭 |
| [07:13] | There’s a lot riding on tonight. | 今晚太重要了 |
| [07:15] | You and Anna-Kat are my responsibility. | 你和安娜凯特是我的责任 |
| [07:17] | Nothing can go wrong. No one can get hurt. | 不能出错 不能有人受伤 |
| [07:19] | – What’s in it for me? – What do you mean? | -我有什么好处 -你什么意思 |
| [07:21] | Well, you’re getting something out of this. I want something, too. | 你有好处 我也要好处 |
| [07:24] | – What’s your price? – Okay. | -你想要什么 -好的 |
| [07:26] | I want you to do what Mom and Dad refuse to do — | 我要你做爸妈拒绝做的 |
| [07:29] | drive me past the biggest houses in Westport, | 开车带我经过西港最大的房子 |
| [07:31] | slowly… | 要慢 |
| [07:32] | while I look up their value on Zillow. | 我要同时在房产网上看房子的价值 |
| [07:35] | No way. | 不可能 |
| [07:36] | I will break my pinkie right now. | 我现在就折断我的小指 |
| [07:39] | Okay, fine. | 好的 |
| [07:41] | It’s a deal. | 说定了 |
| [07:43] | Who’s gonna wet my beak? | 那我的好处呢 |
| [07:45] | What? | 什么 |
| [07:46] | Here’s the thing. | 是这样的 |
| [07:47] | I need to write a story to read out loud tomorrow night | 我需要写一个故事 明晚的儿童故事会上 |
| [07:50] | at the Kid Lit assembly… | 我要大声朗读 |
| [07:51] | only I don’t feel like writing it. | 只是我不想写 |
| [07:54] | Do you get what I’m saying? | 明白我的意思吗 |
| [07:55] | No. | 不明白 |
| [07:57] | She wants you to write the story for her. | 她要你为她写故事 |
| [07:59] | And you’re gonna help her because she’s kind of stupid. | 你要帮她 因为她很笨 |
| [08:01] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [08:02] | What will happen if we don’t? | 如果我们不帮呢 |
| [08:03] | I saved some baby teeth just for this situation. | 我为这种情况留了些乳牙 |
| [08:07] | Taylor let me jump off the counter, | 泰勒让我从台子上跳下去 |
| [08:09] | and I knocked out my tooth! | 我摔掉了牙齿 |
| [08:11] | Happy writing. | 写作愉快 |
| [08:19] | We have been big fans of Vietnamese food | 我们非常喜欢越南菜 |
| [08:21] | ever since we went backpacking outside of Hanoi last summer. | 从我们去年夏天在河内市外背包旅游开始 |
| [08:24] | Oh, yeah, we rappelled down a waterfall, | 我们系绳索下瀑布 |
| [08:26] | explored this tunnel system, went sand-boarding… | 去隧道探险 滑沙 |
| [08:28] | But what about you? | 你们呢 |
| [08:30] | I bet you guys have taken some great trips. | 我相信你们也有很棒的旅行 |
| [08:32] | Oh, boy, have we. | 老天 有啊 |
| [08:35] | Which one do you want to talk about first? | 你想先说哪一个 |
| [08:37] | Let’s just pick a favorite. | 选我们最喜欢的 |
| [08:38] | Which one is our favorite, Greg? | 我们最喜欢哪个 格雷格 |
| [08:41] | When was our last vacation? | 我们最后一次度假是什么时候 |
| [08:42] | Does staying at the Motel Six for a weekend | 家里爆水管后 周末住在汽车旅馆 |
| [08:44] | after our pipes burst count? | 算度假吗 |
| [08:45] | I think our favorite trip probably was… | 我想我们最喜欢的旅行可能是 |
| [08:50] | when we went rafting down the Amazon. | 我们在亚马逊乘竹筏 |
| [08:52] | Right, honey? | 对吗 亲爱的 |
| [08:54] | We were some adventurous cats, | 我们是探险的猫 |
| [08:56] | weren’t we, Katie? | 不是吗 凯蒂 |
| [08:58] | That’s right. | 对 |
| [09:00] | We were on bamboo rafts. | 我们在竹筏上 |
| [09:03] | Yeah, our captain Me-Ow warned us | 我们的船长米奥警告我们 |
| [09:05] | that it wasn’t a trip. | 这不是旅行 |
| [09:07] | It was an exercise in survival. | 这是生存训练 |
| [09:09] | We were admiring the scenery, | 我们正在欣赏风景 |
| [09:10] | when this giant snake dropped down from the trees. | 一条大蛇从树上掉下来 |
| [09:13] | So what’d you guys do? | 你们怎么做的 |
| [09:14] | What did we do? | 我们怎么做的 |
| [09:17] | My instincts just kicked in, | 凭着我的本能反应 |
| [09:19] | and I punched it in the face. | 一拳打上去 |
| [09:20] | Knocked it out cold. | 把它干掉了 |
| [09:22] | Our Captain Me-Ow… | 我们的米奥船长 |
| [09:23] | Who turned out to be a real sweetheart… | 是个非常好的人 |
| [09:24] | …skinned it, cooked it up. | 把它剥皮 做熟 |
| [09:26] | Best dinner we ever had. | 有史以来最棒的晚餐 |
| [09:27] | I’m so jealous. | 我好嫉妒 |
| [09:29] | Somebody is allergic to snake. | 某人对蛇过敏 |
| [09:36] | So, we heard about this place in town that serves bespoke cocktails. | 我们听说城里有个地方卖订制鸡尾酒 |
| [09:39] | Just pick a night and we’re there. | 选个日子我们就去 |
| [09:41] | The night is now! | 就是现在 |
| [09:42] | We’ll get the coats. | 我们去拿外套 |
| [09:45] | Are they serious? It’s almost 9:30. | 他们说真的吗 快9点半了 |
| [09:46] | – We’re already pushing our bedtime. – I know. | -快到我们睡觉时间了 -我知道 |
| [09:48] | We should be in bed with me putting stuff in my Amazon cart | 我们应该在床上 我在亚马逊网上把东西放进购物车 |
| [09:50] | and you telling me not to push the buy button. | 你告诉我不要点购买键 |
| [09:52] | If we go to this bar, we still have to wake up early and deal with the kids, | 如果我们去酒吧 明早依然得早起管孩子 |
| [09:54] | and I have to help Anna-Kat with her story. | 我必须帮安娜凯特写她的故事 |
| [09:55] | If we don’t go to this bar, | 如果我们不去酒吧 |
| [09:56] | they could meet a real kid-less couple | 他们会认识真没孩子的夫妻 |
| [09:58] | who knows what the hell bespoke cocktails actually are. | 人家会知道订制鸡尾酒到底是什么东西 |
| [10:00] | We could lose them, Greg. | 我们会失去他们 格雷格 |
| [10:01] | Come on. | 来吧 |
| [10:03] | We never put ourselves first. | 我们从来没把自己放在第一位 |
| [10:05] | Let’s do something for us for a change. | 这次为自己做点什么吧 |
| [10:06] | All right, let’s do it. | 好的 我们去 |
| [10:08] | Look out, 11:00, here come the Ottos! | 小心了 11点 奥图夫妻来了 |
| [10:16] | Last night was fun. The Ottos saw midnight. | 昨晚真好玩 奥图夫妻过了12点还没睡 |
| [10:18] | Then I took a brief micro nap in the ladies room to rally, | 我在女厕所打了个盹恢复精神 |
| [10:21] | and then we saw 12:45. | 然后又撑到了12点45 |
| [10:22] | Do you think that they liked us? | 你觉得他们喜欢我们吗 |
| [10:23] | I hope so. | 希望喜欢 |
| [10:24] | What happens now? Do we call them? | 怎么办 给他们打电话吗 |
| [10:26] | I don’t know how this works. | 我不知道怎么做 |
| [10:30] | It’s not me! It’s you! | 不是我的 是你的 |
| [10:31] | Help me find my phone! | 帮我找手机 |
| [10:35] | Call it! | 打电话 |
| [10:36] | Wait. It’s in my hand. | 等等 在我手上 |
| [10:37] | It’s a text from Zach! | 是扎克发的短信 |
| [10:39] | – They don’t play games! – They had fun! | -他们没玩游戏 -他们很开心 |
| [10:40] | – What did they say exactly? – “We had fun!” | -他们怎么说的 -“我们很开心” |
| [10:42] | Yes! | 太好了 |
| [10:43] | Mama, where’s my clean underwear? | 妈妈 我的干净内裤在哪里 |
| [10:45] | Never mind. Going inside-out. | 算了 反着穿 |
| [10:47] | Ugh, back to reality. | 回到现实 |
| [10:48] | I got to go make breakfast, | 我得去做早餐 |
| [10:49] | and you need to help Anna-Kat with her story. | 你得帮安娜凯特写故事 |
| [10:51] | I’m texting him back. What do you think of this? | 我回他 你觉得怎样 |
| [10:53] | “We had fun, too. Love you guys. Regards, Greg”? | 我们也很开心 爱你们 此致 格雷格 |
| [10:56] | That is terrible, but reassuring. | 太糟糕了 但我放心了 |
| [10:59] | You have no future in online dating. | 你在网恋方面没希望 |
| [11:00] | You’re stuck with me forever. | 你要永远和我在一起 |
| [11:08] | So, how did it go last night? | 昨晚怎么样 |
| [11:10] | Perfect. | 完美 |
| [11:12] | You know I’d love to throw this one under the bus, | 你们知道我喜欢让她背黑锅 |
| [11:14] | but she did great. | 但她的表现非常棒 |
| [11:15] | It’s true, Mama. | 是真的 妈妈 |
| [11:17] | They spent the whole time helping me with my story | 他们一直在帮我写故事 |
| [11:18] | for the Kid Lit assembly tonight. | 今晚儿童故事会要读的 |
| [11:20] | I thought I was gonna help you with that. | 我以为我要帮你写 |
| [11:22] | Guess you don’t need to anymore. | 看来不需要你了 |
| [11:24] | Are you seeing this? | 看到了吗 |
| [11:25] | Yeah, we stepped back, and they’re fine without us. | 我们不管他们 没我们他们挺好 |
| [11:27] | What are we gonna do with all our newfound free time? | 我们新发现的空余时间做什么 |
| [11:32] | But we’re already dressed for the day — | 但我们已经穿好衣服了 |
| [11:34] | What am I saying? Who cares? | 我说什么呢 谁管这些 |
| [11:39] | Story time. Let me hear what you got. | 故事时间 说说你们的想法 |
| [11:41] | Okay, so we have a couple of options for you to choose from. | 有几个你可以选 |
| [11:44] | The first is a story about friendship, | 第一个是关于友谊的故事 |
| [11:46] | and it starts with two brown bears — | 开头是两只棕熊 |
| [11:48] | Pass. What’s next? | 过 下一个 |
| [11:49] | Well, we have another one about a mouse | 另一个是老鼠 |
| [11:51] | who’s trying to track down a missing skateboard. | 它想找到失踪的滑板 |
| [11:53] | No, too cute. | 不 太过可爱 |
| [11:55] | But you watch “Adventure Cats,” | 但你看《冒险猫》 |
| [11:56] | and that’s all about kittens. | 里面全是猫咪 |
| [11:57] | I just watch that to unwind. | 我只是看来放松的 |
| [11:59] | Here are a few things I want in my story — | 我的故事中要有这几点 |
| [12:01] | The Donner Party, flesh-eating super-viruses, | 唐纳队 吃肉超级病毒 |
| [12:05] | and dandelions. | 蒲公英 |
| [12:06] | What do those even have to do with each other? | 这些有什么关系 |
| [12:08] | Seems like a writer problem. | 这是作者的问题 |
| [12:10] | Make it work. | 想办法 |
| [12:18] | And Zach and Courtney took us to this cool restaurant, | 扎克和科特尼带我们去一家很酷的餐厅 |
| [12:20] | then to a secret bar, and get this — | 然后去秘密酒吧 听着 |
| [12:22] | this morning, Greg and I even had sex. | 今天早上 格雷格和我做爱了 |
| [12:25] | Morning sex? | 清晨爱爱 |
| [12:26] | Okay, quick question. | 好了 我问一下 |
| [12:28] | Was the bed already made, | 床已经铺好了吗 |
| [12:30] | and if so, did you then remake it? | 做了后岂不是要重铺 |
| [12:32] | I’m telling you, hanging out with this couple | 我告诉你们 和这对夫妻在一起 |
| [12:34] | reminded us that we once had a life outside of our kids. | 让我们想起我们曾经拥有没有孩子的生活 |
| [12:36] | Well, enjoy it while you can. | 及时行乐吧 |
| [12:38] | Take it from a single mom — | 我这个单亲妈妈给点经验 |
| [12:40] | you can only hide your kids from the people you’re dating for so long. | 对约会的人隐瞒孩子的时间是有限的 |
| [12:42] | ‘Cause when they find out, they’ll dump you. | 对方发现后会甩了你 |
| [12:44] | Because you’re not spontaneous. | 因为你不够随性 |
| [12:46] | And you can’t go to Nantucket | 你也不能去楠塔基特岛 |
| [12:47] | because you got a kid that didn’t listen to you | 因为有个孩子不听话 |
| [12:49] | and went outside without a jacket and got sick, | 不穿外衣去室外 然后生病了 |
| [12:51] | so now you’re staying home while she’s at a beachhouse | 现在你在家 而她去了海滩别墅 |
| [12:53] | with some bitch named Ruth. | 和一个叫鲁丝的贱人在一起 |
| [12:55] | Don’t worry. We have a plan. | 别担心 我们有安排 |
| [12:57] | We’re gonna get them invested in a fake version of ourselves, | 我们会让他们和我们的假象培养感情 |
| [13:00] | then, when they fall in love, | 等他们爱上我们时 |
| [13:01] | we’re gonna reveal our three little flaws. | 我们才会暴露我们的小缺点 |
| [13:03] | Oh! I did the same thing with Richard. | 我对理查德也是这样 |
| [13:05] | I let him believe I was nice. | 我让他相信我是好人 |
| [13:07] | There’s no way some bitch named “Ruth” is hotter than I am. | 叫鲁丝的贱人不可能比我漂亮 |
| [13:10] | Not possible. | 不可能 |
| [13:20] | The kids are really getting along. | 孩子们相处得非常好 |
| [13:21] | Don’t talk about it. You’ll jinx it. | 别说 一说就不灵了 |
| [13:23] | You said our kids had great taste in music, | 你说我们孩子的音乐品味很高 |
| [13:25] | then it was “Call Me Maybe” for a whole year. | 结果听了一整年的《有空打给我》 |
| [13:26] | Let’s take advantage of this | 我们好好利用这点 |
| [13:28] | and have Taylor watch the kids again tonight. | 让泰勒今晚照顾孩子 |
| [13:30] | We can’t. We have Anna-Kat’s Lit assembly at 6:00. | 不行 安娜凯特的故事会在6点 |
| [13:31] | Aw, man. I forgot about that. | 讨厌 我忘了 |
| [13:34] | Anna-Kat, how many kids are reading tonight? | 安娜凯特 今晚多少孩子读故事 |
| [13:36] | There are 24 kids in my class, | 我们班有24个 |
| [13:38] | but there are two classes, so 48. | 有两个班 所以一共有48人 |
| [13:41] | So fun! | 真有意思 |
| [13:44] | If I take off running right now, | 如果我现在走人 |
| [13:45] | I can get home, pack, | 我可以回家 收拾行李 |
| [13:46] | and be in Canada by tomorrow morning. | 明早就到加拿大了 |
| [13:48] | You are not going to Canada. | 你不能去加拿大 |
| [13:49] | Get out of my head, man. | 滚出我的脑袋 |
| [13:51] | I’m really excited for you to hear my story. | 我很期待你们听我的故事 |
| [13:53] | It’s pretty amazing. | 非常精彩 |
| [13:54] | It better be amazing, | 最好很精彩 |
| [13:56] | or I’ll lock myself in my toy chest | 否则我会把自己锁在玩具箱里 |
| [13:58] | and say that you kept me there all night. | 说你关了我一整晚 |
| [14:00] | You wouldn’t. | 你不会的 |
| [14:02] | Oh, yeah? | 是吗 |
| [14:03] | “It’s so dark in here. | 这里好黑 |
| [14:06] | I can’t…breathe!” | 我无法呼吸 |
| [14:10] | Now give me a taste of your ice cream. | 让我尝尝你的冰淇淋 |
| [14:12] | Aww, they’re sharing. | 她们在分享 |
| [14:14] | We’re Parents of the Year. | 我们是年度最佳父母 |
| [14:15] | Oh, crap, Greg! Look! | 见鬼 格雷格 快看 |
| [14:18] | We can’t be seen with these jokers. | 不能让他们看到我们和这些小丑在一起 |
| [14:19] | Guys, who wants candy? | 你们谁想吃糖 |
| [14:20] | You always say | 你总是说 |
| [14:22] | we’re not allowed to have two sweets in one day. | 我们不能一天吃两顿甜品 |
| [14:24] | Young lady, when your father tells you to eat candy, | 小姑娘 你爸让你吃糖 |
| [14:26] | you eat candy. | 你就吃 |
| [14:28] | Come on, come on! | 快来 |
| [14:32] | Anna-Kat’s sweater! | 安娜凯特的毛衣 |
| [14:34] | Oh, I think you dropped this. | 我想这是你掉的 |
| [14:36] | You dropped it. | 你掉的 |
| [14:38] | Hey, look! | 看 |
| [14:40] | It’s our new best friends! | 是我们新交的好友 |
| [14:41] | Hey, guys! | 你们好 |
| [14:43] | Just taking a leisurely stroll. | 只是在随便逛逛 |
| [14:44] | Just the two of us, which we do every day. | 就我们两个 我们每天都闲逛 |
| [14:46] | ‘Cause we have the time. | 因为我们有空 |
| [14:49] | We were just about to call you guys. | 我们正准备打电话给你们 |
| [14:51] | Oh, yeah! | 是嘛 |
| [14:52] | Yeah, we decided to head up to our ski house in New Hampshire. | 我们决定去新罕布什尔的滑雪屋 |
| [14:54] | Hit the hot tub, snowmobile in the morning, | 泡泡热水浴 早上玩雪上摩托 |
| [14:56] | and then head back tomorrow. | 明天回来 |
| [14:57] | Classic H-T-Sno-mo. | 普通的一日游 |
| [14:58] | Sounds amazing! | 太棒了 |
| [14:59] | We’d love for you guys to come | 我们希望你们也去 |
| [15:00] | if you don’t already have plans tonight. | 如果你们今晚没安排的话 |
| [15:02] | Did we have something we were supposed to do? | 我们不是有事情要做吗 |
| [15:03] | Something about an up-and-coming authors symposium? | 非常重要的作者讨论会 |
| [15:05] | Oh, yeah. | 是的 |
| [15:06] | Oh, shoot. Well, I guess we could ask — | 讨厌 我想我们叫上… |
| [15:08] | No, no, no! We’re in! | 不不不 我们去 |
| [15:09] | Okay, great. Hey, I’ll text you the address. | 很好 我回头把地址发你 |
| [15:11] | – Great. – All right. | -太好了 -好的 |
| [15:13] | An overnighter. | 过一夜 |
| [15:14] | This is the way relationships are cemented. | 这是巩固关系的办法 |
| [15:16] | Would it be lame if I wore a T-shirt in the hot tub? | 如果我泡热水浴时穿T恤是不是很土鳖 |
| [15:18] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [15:23] | I think she’s probably had enough sugar. | 我想她吃太多糖了 |
| [15:29] | I know it’s just a kid-free night | 我知道这只是在新地方 |
| [15:31] | with new friends in a new place, | 和新朋友过一个没孩子的晚上 |
| [15:32] | – but I’m super-excited. – Me too. | -但我超级兴奋 -我也是 |
| [15:33] | Are these good lounge-around- the-ski-lodge pants, | 这是在滑雪小屋闲逛的长裤 |
| [15:36] | or do they look too much like pajamas? | 还是太像睡衣 |
| [15:37] | They’re good. But wear underwear. | 很好 记得穿内裤 |
| [15:39] | Reduce floppage. | 小弟不会太晃动 |
| [15:40] | Yes. | 对 |
| [15:41] | I refuse to feel guilty for missing Anna-Kat’s reading tonight. | 我拒绝为错过今晚安娜凯特的故事会而内疚 |
| [15:43] | We have a responsibility to ourselves, | 我们对自己也有责任 |
| [15:46] | to our relationship, | 还有我们的关系 |
| [15:47] | to the Gods of Spontaneous Marital Morning Sex. | 对随意的夫妻晨间爱爱也有责任 |
| [15:50] | I love those guys. I love you guys! | 我爱那两个人 我爱你们 |
| [15:52] | Half of the parents in this town | 这里的一半父母 |
| [15:54] | spend zero time with their kids. | 从来不陪孩子 |
| [15:55] | Then they put on this big show by going to every last school event, | 但他们会参加学校的每次活动 |
| [15:58] | like that makes them good parents. | 好像这样他们就是好家长了 |
| [15:59] | That’s what they do. | 他们就是这样的 |
| [16:00] | That’s totally what they do. | 完全就是 |
| [16:01] | They’re like, “Ooh! I’m such a good mother! | 她们会说 我真是一个好妈妈 |
| [16:03] | The nanny feeds them, the maid cleans up after them, | 保姆喂他们吃饭 女佣为他们打扫 |
| [16:05] | but I’m here at the stupid Kid Lit Festival.” | 但我在这里参加愚蠢的儿童读书节 |
| [16:07] | “Ooh, I’m an awesome dad, | 我是个非常好的爸爸 |
| [16:09] | I play 72 holes of golf a week | 我一周打72洞的高尔夫 |
| [16:10] | and read texts when my kids are trying to talk to me, | 孩子们想和我说话时 我在看短信 |
| [16:13] | but look at me now! | 但看我现在 |
| [16:14] | I’m in the front row, | 我在前排 |
| [16:15] | taping the whole thing on my phone | 用手机全录下来了 |
| [16:16] | like I’m not a total douche.” | 好像我不是一个彻底的混蛋 |
| [16:18] | And that’s not parenting. | 这不是家长之道 |
| [16:20] | It most certainly is not. | 当然不是 |
| [16:22] | Parenting is the daily grind of caring for kids | 做家长是每天照顾孩子 |
| [16:24] | while doing the painstaking work of shaping their character. | 而且要辛苦地培养孩子们的性格 |
| [16:26] | That’s what we do. | 这正是我们做的 |
| [16:28] | That’s all we do, Greg. | 我们做的就是这些 格雷格 |
| [16:29] | That is our entire life. | 这就是我们全部的生活 |
| [16:30] | In fact, one could argue that by skipping this event, | 事实上 可以说我们不去参加故事会 |
| [16:32] | we’re teaching Anna-Kat a lesson in independence. | 我们给安娜凯特上了一堂独立课 |
| [16:34] | Yes. | 对 |
| [16:35] | By going away, we’re actually being there for her more than if we stayed. | 我们离开 比留在那里更能支持她 |
| [16:38] | I buy that. | 我相信 |
| [16:40] | So, for real, what happens when Anna-Kat’s onstage | 说真的 安娜凯特上台后 |
| [16:41] | and looks out in the audience and we’re not there? | 发现我们不在观众席上会怎样 |
| [16:43] | She’ll be fine. | 她不会有事的 |
| [16:44] | We’ll buy her ice cream with extra toppings, | 我们给她买加馅料的冰淇淋 |
| [16:45] | and she’ll get over it. | 她就会忘掉的 |
| [16:46] | So you’re saying | 你是说 |
| [16:47] | for the price of a couple of crumbled-up Oreos, | 用一些捏碎的奥利奥饼干 |
| [16:49] | we can reclaim our lives? | 我们就能找回我们的生活 |
| [16:50] | I’m in! | 我加入 |
| [16:53] | We good to go? | 可以走了吗 |
| [16:55] | Yeah. Everything’s packed. | 对 都打包好了 |
| [16:56] | Angela’s gonna take the kids to the Lit assembly | 安吉拉送孩子们去参加故事会 |
| [16:58] | and stay the night. | 她晚上在我们家睡 |
| [17:00] | And I told the kids that their great aunt passed, | 我告诉孩子们姑婆去世了 |
| [17:01] | and we had to go to the funeral. | 我们得参加葬礼 |
| [17:03] | How many great aunts is that now? | 到现在死了几个姑婆了 |
| [17:05] | I think I’m up to seven, and they still haven’t noticed. | 我想七个了 他们还没发现 |
| [17:09] | We’re on our way, | 我们要出发了 |
| [17:10] | and we don’t feel guilty at all, do we? | 完全不觉得内疚 对吗 |
| [17:11] | Now floor it! | 快走 |
| [17:15] | We’re having such an amazing time! | 我们非常开心 |
| [17:17] | – Wish you were here! – Cheers! | -真希望你们也在 -干杯 |
| [17:22] | Remember driveway us? | 记得车道上的我们吗 |
| [17:23] | They had it all figured out. | 他们全想清楚了 |
| [17:24] | Highway us, | 高速公路上的我们 |
| [17:26] | that’s where it all started to crumble. | 一切开始崩溃 |
| [17:27] | …And so, the two rabbits sat down at the table | 于是 两只兔子坐在桌旁 |
| [17:31] | and shared the carrot. | 分享胡萝卜 |
| [17:32] | The end. | 讲完了 |
| [17:35] | Well, that was awful. | 太糟糕了 |
| [17:37] | Still, we did the right thing. | 我们做了正确的事 |
| [17:39] | Although the zebra had stripes | 尽管斑马身上有条纹 |
| [17:41] | and the leopard had spots, | 美洲豹有斑点 |
| [17:43] | they decided they could still be friends. | 它们决定还是能做朋友 |
| [17:45] | The end. | 讲完了 |
| [17:50] | Still think we did the right thing? | 还是觉得我们做了正确的事吗 |
| [17:55] | The sun told the cloud to stop crying. | 太阳让云别哭了 |
| [17:57] | It did. | 云不哭了 |
| [17:58] | Then all the children of the world | 全世界所有的孩子 |
| [18:00] | came out to play. | 都出来玩了 |
| [18:01] | The end. | 讲完了 |
| [18:06] | Everyone having a good time? | 大家开心吗 |
| [18:09] | I sure am. | 我很开心 |
| [18:11] | Please welcome Anna-Kat Otto. | 请欢迎安娜凯特·奥图 |
| [18:21] | Once upon a time, | 很久以前 |
| [18:23] | when America was a young nation, | 美国还是年轻的国家 |
| [18:25] | a family of pioneers | 一家先锋 |
| [18:26] | decided to take a risk and head West, | 决定冒险向西部进发 |
| [18:29] | into the new frontier… | 进入新的边疆 |
| [18:31] | You are so going to that concert with your friends. | 你和朋友去演唱会去定了 |
| [18:35] | Once the flesh-eating bacteria took over the camp, | 吃肉细菌占领帐篷后 |
| [18:37] | no one was safe. | 没人是安全的 |
| [18:39] | Those who died were actually the lucky ones. | 那些死了的人其实是幸运的 |
| [18:41] | Those who didn’t were so hungry | 那些没死的人太饿了 |
| [18:43] | they had no choice | 他们别无选择 |
| [18:44] | but to eat their family members… | 只能吃家里人 |
| [18:46] | …and not even dandelions | 就连蒲公英 |
| [18:48] | would grow over their graves. | 都不会在他们坟上生长 |
| [18:54] | The end. | 讲完了 |
| [18:59] | You’re so not going to that concert with your friends. | 你别想和朋友去听演唱会 |
| [19:06] | Are you kidding me with that story? | 那个故事是个笑话吗 |
| [19:08] | What were you two thinking? | 你俩在想什么 |
| [19:09] | We tried to pitch her bunnies. | 我们想让她接受兔子 |
| [19:11] | Yeah, but then she got mad | 然后她生气了 |
| [19:12] | and made us work through dinner. | 让我们晚餐时继续写 |
| [19:13] | Am I the only one who thought it went well? | 只有我觉得写得不错吗 |
| [19:17] | As much as I want to blame them, | 虽然我很想怪他们 |
| [19:19] | which I really, really want to do, | 我的确很想 |
| [19:20] | the truth is, | 但事实是 |
| [19:21] | – this is on us. – I know. | -这是我们的错 -我知道 |
| [19:23] | We were so caught up enjoying our kid-less life | 我们沉迷于和没孩子的朋友 |
| [19:24] | with our kid-less friends, | 享受没孩子的生活 |
| [19:26] | we took our eyes off the ball. | 我们走神了 |
| [19:27] | I’m glad we came to our senses. | 我很高兴我们恢复了理智 |
| [19:28] | Did you see Anna-Kat’s face | 安娜凯特看向观众席 |
| [19:30] | when she looked out in the audience and saw we were there? | 看到我们时 你看到她的表情了吗 |
| [19:32] | Yeah. | 看到了 |
| [19:33] | Maybe Highway Us knew what they were doing. | 也许高速公路的我们知道自己在做什么 |
| [19:35] | 75% of parenting is doing stuff you don’t want to do. | 做父母75%的时候在做自己不想做的事 |
| [19:37] | I think it’s closer to 90%. | 我想接近90% |
| [19:39] | Good news is, once they’re out of the house, | 好消息是 他们离开家后 |
| [19:41] | and it’s just the two of us again, | 就只剩我们了 |
| [19:42] | we know we’ve still got it. | 我们知道我们依然能行 |
| [19:44] | Damn right we do. | 那是当然 |
| [19:47] | You guys can still have it, just hide it. | 你们能行 但要躲着行 |
| [19:51] | 95% 95%. | |
| [19:53] | Maybe higher. | 也许更高 |
| [20:03] | So we’re just going to come right out and tell them the truth — | 我们就这样跟他们说出实话吗 |
| [20:06] | – we have kids. – Yep. | -我们有孩子 -对 |
| [20:08] | And if they want to break up with us, | 如果他们想分手 |
| [20:09] | we’re not gonna beg. | 我们不会乞求 |
| [20:13] | Listen, we are so sorry we had to cancel with you the last minute. | 听我说 非常抱歉我们临时取消 |
| [20:16] | We had something we wanna to tell you but we want to do in person. | 我们有事想当面跟你们说 |
| [20:20] | No no, us first. | 不 我们先说 |
| [20:23] | – We’re pregnant! – We’re pregnant! | -她怀孕了 -我怀孕了 |
| [20:25] | My god. | 我的天 |
| [20:27] | Amazing. | 太棒了 |
| [20:31] | – We have to celebrate! – Definitely. | -我们得庆祝 -当然 |
| [20:32] | Yes. | 太棒了 |
| [20:36] | No way are we gonna be friends with a couple with a newborn. | 我们绝对不可能和刚生孩子的夫妻做朋友 |
| [20:37] | “Look, guys, the baby discovered its feet!” | 看 伙计们 宝宝刚刚发现了他的脚 |
| [20:40] | Bo-ring! | 无聊 |