| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Making breakfast for your kid with OCD | 给有强迫症的孩子做早餐 |
| [00:06] | is like the world’s least-fun game of “Operation.” | 就像全世界最无趣游戏”外科手术” |
| [00:08] | It takes a steady hand or — | 手要稳 否则 |
| [00:11] | It touched. I can’t eat that. | 碰到了 我不能吃 |
| [00:13] | If we were rich, Anna-Kat would be eccentric. | 如果我们是有钱人 安娜凯特便是特立独行 |
| [00:16] | But we’re poor, so she’s just cuckoo pants. | 但我们是穷人 所以她是个小疯子 |
| [00:18] | Call me when you get it right. | 做对了再叫我 |
| [00:22] | Morning, Taylor. | 早 泰勒 |
| [00:24] | I made you a little something. | 我给你做了早餐 |
| [00:25] | No, way. I’m not eating Anna-Kat’s reject food. | 不可能 我不吃安娜凯特不要的东西 |
| [00:27] | It’s disgusting. | 真恶心 |
| [00:28] | Mmm! Yolks and crusties. May I? | 蛋黄和烤焦的面包 我能吃吗 |
| [00:30] | Put that cup down! | 放下杯子 |
| [00:32] | Who gave you permission to drink coffee? | 谁允许你喝咖啡的 |
| [00:34] | You did last week. | 你上周同意的 |
| [00:35] | I asked you when you were removing | 我问你时 你正把 |
| [00:37] | all the things Anna-Kat hates from her trail mix. | 什锦干果中安娜凯特不喜欢的挑出来 |
| [00:39] | Mmm! Carob. | 角豆 |
| [00:40] | You know better than to listen to me while I’m ignoring you. | 你应该懂得我无视你时说的话不算数 |
| [00:42] | – Besides, coffee stunts your growth. – Great. | -而且 咖啡会妨碍你长高 -很好 |
| [00:45] | I’m already at a perfect height | 我的身高已经完美了 |
| [00:46] | according to the quiz I took on BuzzFeed. | 我在网上做了测试 |
| [00:48] | Well, BuzzFeed says that I’m a Charlotte, | 网上的测试还说我是夏洛特[《欲望都市》人物] |
| [00:49] | which is total crap ’cause everyone knows I’m a Carrie. | 完全是骗人的 大家都知道我是凯莉 |
| [00:52] | You’re more like a Miranda. | 你更像米兰达 |
| [00:53] | That is the meanest thing anyone’s ever said to me. | 这是别人对我说过的最刻薄的话 |
| [00:55] | Not happening. | 不可能 |
| [00:56] | Put it down. | 放下 |
| [00:57] | Fine. | 好 |
| [00:59] | Once I start driving next week, I’ll go get my own coffee. | 下周我就能开车了 到时我自己买咖啡 |
| [01:05] | Oh, my God. She’s right. | 我的天 她说得对 |
| [01:07] | She’s gonna be driving. How did this happen? | 她马上就能开车了 怎么会这样 |
| [01:10] | – When did our oldest get to be so old? – I don’t understand. | -我们的老大什么时候这么大的 -我不明白 |
| [01:12] | I thought you couldn’t wait for Taylor to start driving. | 你不是等不及泰勒开车吗 |
| [01:14] | Well, now that it’s here, I’m having mixed feelings. | 真到了这天 我的感觉很复杂 |
| [01:18] | Am I allowed to have those, Greg, or is this Russia? | 不能感觉复杂吗 格雷格 这里是俄国吗 |
| [01:20] | Do you mean Communist Russia? | 你是指苏联吧 |
| [01:22] | Because modern Russia, while still oppressive — | 因为现在的俄国 虽然压抑… |
| [01:23] | Why can’t you just let me say things? | 就不能让我好好说话吗 |
| [01:25] | Greg, you realize getting her license means independence. | 格雷格 你知道她有驾照就意味着独立吗 |
| [01:28] | And before you know it, she’s gonna be driving off | 你还没回过神 她就会开车走人 |
| [01:31] | like that girl in that Subaru commercial. | 就像汽车广告里的那个女孩一样 |
| [01:32] | You mean the one where the little girl sits | 广告里小女孩坐在 |
| [01:34] | in the driver’s seat and the dad tells her to be careful? | 驾驶位 她爸让她小心些 |
| [01:36] | Then he turns back, | 然后他转身 |
| [01:37] | and suddenly she’s a teenager. | 突然她就是少女了 |
| [01:39] | That girl was so tiny. | 那个女孩本来那么小 |
| [01:40] | Then the girl grew up right before his eyes. | 然后就在他眼前长大了 |
| [01:49] | What’s happening? | 出什么事了 |
| [01:55] | Get off. | 放开 |
| [01:57] | Taylor, honey, I’d like to spend | 泰勒宝贝 我想和你 |
| [01:59] | some special mother/daughter time with you, | 共度特别的母女时光 |
| [02:00] | establish a bond that will last a lifetime. | 建立延续一辈子的感情 |
| [02:03] | You can’t force stuff like that. | 这种事不能强迫 |
| [02:04] | That’s silly. Anything can be forced. | 说傻话 任何事都能强迫 |
| [02:06] | The fact that you were all over 9 pounds | 你出生时超过9磅 |
| [02:08] | and I never had a C-section is proof. | 我没有剖腹产就是证明 |
| [02:09] | – Gross. – Yes, it was. | -恶心 -对 |
| [02:11] | I saw the sheets. | 我见过产床床单 |
| [02:14] | You’ll never believe who just moved in next to us. | 你们不会相信谁搬到了隔壁 |
| [02:16] | Here’s a hint — He’s one of my idols, | 给点提示 他是我的偶像之一 |
| [02:18] | and he just got out of prison. | 刚刚出狱 |
| [02:19] | I give up… | 我放弃 |
| [02:20] | on the question and possibly parenting. | 放弃回答这问题和做你妈 |
| [02:23] | Spencer Blitz, the man who dominated wall Street in the ’90s. | 斯宾塞·布利茨 90年代统治华尔街的人 |
| [02:26] | Then spent the last 20 years in jail for insider trading. | 然后因为内线交易坐牢20年 |
| [02:29] | I want you to stay clear of that guy. | 我希望你不要理他 |
| [02:31] | You’ve already talked to him, haven’t you? | 你已经和他聊过了 对吗 |
| [02:36] | Are you stealing my Wall Street Journal? | 你在偷我的《华尔街日报》吗 |
| [02:40] | Good job. | 做得好 |
| [02:41] | When I was your age, I stole hundreds of papers. | 我像你这么大时 偷了无数报纸 |
| [02:43] | Sold ’em back to the vendors for a profit. | 卖给销售商谋利 |
| [02:46] | Kind of a reverse paper route. | 正好和送报童的工作是相反的 |
| [02:47] | Then I took that money, bought an abandoned warehouse, | 用赚的钱 买了一处废弃仓库 |
| [02:50] | burned it to the ground for the insurance money, | 烧了骗保 |
| [02:51] | and bought a Maserati. | 买了辆玛莎拉蒂 |
| [02:53] | At school, I made sure I parked | 在学校 我把车停在 |
| [02:55] | next the the principal so he knew who was boss. | 校长的车旁边 这样他知道谁是老大 |
| [02:58] | Sir, that’s the most inspiring story I’ve ever heard. | 先生 这是我听过的最激励人的故事 |
| [03:02] | That guy’s a perfect example of what happens | 人只在乎钱时会是什么下场 |
| [03:03] | when somebody only cares about money. | 这家伙是完美的例子 |
| [03:05] | I know, right? | 我知道 对吧 |
| [03:06] | He’s the best. | 他最棒了 |
| [03:10] | Oliver, there is a letter from your school marked “Urgent.” | 奥利弗 这有学校的紧急通知 |
| [03:14] | Oh, yeah, I was supposed to give that to you. | 对 我应该给你的 |
| [03:16] | Yeah, I got that, too. So did Anna-Kat. | 我和安娜凯特都有 |
| [03:17] | You know I hate it when the three of you screw up together. | 我最讨厌你们三个一起搞砸事情 |
| [03:20] | It dilutes her anger. | 怒气分散了 |
| [03:21] | A kid at the school got lice, | 学校有个孩子长了虱子 |
| [03:23] | and they want the parents to be on the lookout. | 他们希望家长注意 |
| [03:27] | We cannot get lice. | 我们不能长虱子 |
| [03:28] | We’re already known as the poor family. | 我们已经是有名的穷人家庭 |
| [03:33] | Correction — poor family with a pet pig. | 纠正 养宠物猪的穷人家庭 |
| [03:35] | Hans Gruber, don’t sneeze on Mommy’s leg. | 汉斯·格鲁伯 别对着妈咪的腿打喷嚏 |
| [03:37] | Greg, don’t ever refer to me as the pig’s mommy again. | 格雷格 别再管我叫猪妈 |
| [03:41] | Listen up. | 听好了 |
| [03:42] | We will not be known as the “Poor pig family | 我们不能成为长虱子的 |
| [03:44] | that also has lice.” | 穷人家庭 |
| [03:47] | So that’s what these things are. | 原来这些东西是这个 |
| [03:54] | After discovering that one of your kids has lice, | 在发现有个孩子长虱子后 |
| [03:57] | the first step is to isolate patient zero. | 第一步 隔离感染源 |
| [04:00] | This is to contain them. | 这个能关住它们 |
| [04:01] | Having head pets is the best. | 养脑袋宠物最棒了 |
| [04:04] | Really? But eggs touching toast is gross? | 是吗 但是蛋碰到了吐司就恶心 |
| [04:06] | That is one wavy line. | 华丽丽的分割线 |
| [04:10] | Step two, check all remaining family members. | 第二步 检查剩下的家人 |
| [04:12] | You’re good. | 你没事 |
| [04:15] | You, too. | 你也没事 |
| [04:19] | All clear. | 安全 |
| [04:22] | Did you just moan during a lice check? | 你在检查虱子的过程中呻吟吗 |
| [04:23] | If you’re into it, yeah. | 很享受嘛 |
| [04:26] | Step three is to kill those little bastards — | 第三步 杀掉这些小畜牲 |
| [04:29] | the lice, not the kids. | 我是说虱子 不是孩子 |
| [04:30] | Maybe the kids. | 也可以考虑 |
| [04:31] | It’s like there’s a village. | 太多了 |
| [04:33] | You’d have to get lice for a very long time | 得长很久虱子 |
| [04:36] | to have as many as I do. | 才能有我这么多 |
| [04:38] | I’ve got a super swarm. | 我头上有一大窝 |
| [04:45] | Step four, | 第四步 |
| [04:46] | shock and awe. | 斩草除根 |
| [04:50] | Lice get everywhere and on everything. | 虱子无所不在 |
| [04:53] | They’re the glitter of the bug world. | 它们是虫子界的闪粉 |
| [05:03] | – I’m going to Melanie’s house. – Wait. | -我去梅兰妮家 -等等 |
| [05:05] | I was hoping that we could bond. | 我还希望我们能增进感情 |
| [05:07] | We’ll never get this time back | 时间过去就回不来了 |
| [05:08] | or be able to make these memories again. | 我们再也不能创造这些回忆 |
| [05:10] | Nah, that’s okay. | 没事 |
| [05:11] | C’mon, we can make a batch of cookies, | 来吧 我们可以做饼干 |
| [05:13] | but instead of baking them, we’ll just eat the cookie dough. | 可以不烤 直接吃饼干面团 |
| [05:15] | You can’t eat raw eggs. You’ll get sick. | 不能吃生鸡蛋 会生病的 |
| [05:16] | What is wrong with your generation? | 你们这代人什么毛病 |
| [05:18] | You won’t eat raw eggs or put plastic in the microwave. | 你们不吃生鸡蛋 拒绝将塑料放进微波炉 |
| [05:20] | Yeah, we also don’t like to get lice. | 对 我们还不喜欢长虱子 |
| [05:22] | Listen, when things get tough for this family, we don’t run. | 听着 家里有难时我们不能逃跑 |
| [05:24] | We stick it out together under one roof. | 我们在一个屋檐下共同进退 |
| [05:27] | Oh, really? | 是吗 |
| [05:31] | Tell that to Dad. | 跟爸爸说去 |
| [05:37] | What a total | 真是个… |
| [05:40] | I love your father. | 我爱你的父亲 |
| [05:45] | What do you think you’re doing? | 你以为你在做什么 |
| [05:47] | During the State of the Union, a “Designated survivor” | 总统发表国情咨文时 “指定幸存者” |
| [05:49] | is sent to an undisclosed location | 被派到秘密地点 |
| [05:51] | so they can lead the country | 这样如遇攻击事件 |
| [05:52] | in the event everyone is wiped out in an attack. | 所有人被干掉 他们也可以领导国家 |
| [05:54] | This is exactly like that, except with lice. | 现在就是这种情况 除了虱子 |
| [05:56] | And a tent. | 和帐篷 |
| [05:57] | With Nutter Butters. | 还有饼干 |
| [05:58] | How can I convince Taylor to stay and bond with me | 你在这里支帐篷 我怎么说服泰勒 |
| [06:00] | if you’re out here pitching a tent? | 留下和我增进感情 |
| [06:02] | Oh, grow up, Greg. | 成熟点 格雷格 |
| [06:03] | Hey, if lice get in these locks, they’re not getting out. | 如果这头浓密头发长虱子 就永远杀不绝 |
| [06:06] | – Remember when — – Yeah, yeah, | -还记得 -是的 |
| [06:07] | Paul Mitchell stopped you on the street | 保罗·米切尔在街上拦住你 |
| [06:08] | and told you he had never seen such texture and definition. | 告诉你他从没见过这样的质感和清晰度 |
| [06:10] | It was texture and volume. | 应该是质感和密度 |
| [06:11] | I only have a two-week window | 我只有两周时间 |
| [06:13] | to get in all the bonding time I can, | 来增进感情 |
| [06:14] | because, when she gets her license, she’s gone. | 她拿到驾照后就会走了 |
| [06:16] | And you know how I know that? | 知道我怎么知道的吗 |
| [06:18] | Because that’s what I did. | 因为我就是这样 |
| [06:19] | I got my license, got a job, | 我拿到驾照 找了工作 |
| [06:21] | and then quit to follow Prince and the Evolution. | 然后不再粉”王子与进化” |
| [06:23] | – Don’t you mean Revolution? – No. Evolution. | -应该是”革命” -不 “进化” |
| [06:24] | They were a Prince knock-off band that owned the Panhandle. | 他们是山寨乐队 不过在俄州西部非常火 |
| [06:28] | What am I going to do? | 我怎么办 |
| [06:30] | Hey, remember the coupon book she gave you for Mother’s Day? | 记得母亲节她送你的赠券本吗 |
| [06:32] | Yes. | 记得 |
| [06:33] | With all those cute activities. | 那些活动好可爱 |
| [06:35] | Such a sweet gesture. | 真有心 |
| [06:36] | It’s one of my most treasured possessions. | 那是我最珍贵的财富 |
| [06:38] | Yeah, I saw it smushed up in the back of the junk drawer. | 我看到在垃圾抽屉里挤成一团 |
| [06:39] | You bond with Taylor. | 你和泰勒增进感情 |
| [06:41] | I’ll do some father/son bonding out here with Oliver. | 我和奥利弗在这里增进父子感情 |
| [06:43] | – Where is he? – He said he’d be right back. | -他在哪里 -他说他马上回来 |
| [06:44] | Hopefully some camping with his old man will help him | 希望和老爸一起露营可以帮他 |
| [06:46] | realize there’s more to life than material pursuits. | 意识到比起物质追求 生活中还有更重要的 |
| [06:51] | This is your TV nook? | 这是你的电视角 |
| [06:54] | You know, every time I try to find the main TV room, | 每次我想找主电视房 |
| [06:56] | I end up in the bowling alley. | 总是走到保龄球馆 |
| [07:00] | So, you haven’t touched this place | 你在90年代被捕后 |
| [07:01] | since you got arrested in the ’90s? | 就没来到这里吗 |
| [07:05] | Who’s TLC? | TLC是谁 |
| [07:06] | A rad girl band. | 很不错的女子乐队 |
| [07:07] | They actually played my birthday just before I was arrested. | 她们在我被捕前 在我的生日会上演唱 |
| [07:10] | I told “Left Eye” The story of how I torched that warehouse. | 我告诉”左眼”我烧了仓库的事 |
| [07:13] | Looking back, I worry I planted a seed. | 回想起来 我可能搬石头砸了自己的脚 |
| [07:15] | Is it true you dated Daryl Hannah? | 你真的约会过达丽尔·汉纳吗 |
| [07:17] | Post-“Splash,” Pre-“Wall Street.” | 她拍《美人鱼》后 《华尔街》之前 |
| [07:19] | Undeniably her sweet spot. | 不可否认她的魅力 |
| [07:22] | But my heart belonged to someone else — | 但我的心属于别人 |
| [07:24] | a man, in fact… | 事实上是一个男人 |
| [07:25] | by the name of Benjamin Franklin. | 他叫本杰明·富兰克林 |
| [07:27] | I still get goose bumps every time I look at that | 现在每次看到他美丽的绿色光头 |
| [07:29] | beautiful bald, green head. | 我都还会起鸡皮疙瘩 |
| [07:31] | Wow. We have the same taste in men. | 我们对男人的品味是一样的 |
| [07:34] | I’m gonna give you some advice on how to get rich. | 我将给你一些致富的建议 |
| [07:37] | Money needs to be your first, | 钱需要成为你心中 |
| [07:40] | your second, and your third love. | 前三位的爱 |
| [07:42] | Fourth can be a Russian model who needs a visa. | 第四位可以是一个需要签证的俄国模特 |
| [07:45] | Do you have, like, a pen and paper or something? | 你有笔和纸吗 |
| [07:47] | Yeah. | 有 |
| [07:49] | That’s probably my parole officer. | 可能是我的假释官 |
| [07:51] | Coming! | 来了 |
| [07:57] | Hi. You must be Spencer Blitz. | 你好 你肯定是斯宾塞·布利茨 |
| [07:58] | Of course I am. | 当然 |
| [07:59] | I’m Greg Otto from next door. | 我是住在隔壁的格雷格·奥图 |
| [08:01] | I was looking for my son, Oliver. | 我在找我的儿子奥利弗 |
| [08:02] | Come on in. | 进来 |
| [08:03] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [08:06] | Hey, Dad. | 爸 |
| [08:08] | Spencer was just telling me a story about how he manipulated | 斯宾塞刚在告诉我他如何操纵 |
| [08:10] | the Malaysian housing market for a huge profit. | 马来西亚房产市场谋取巨额利润 |
| [08:13] | You got one hell of a son here. | 你的儿子太优秀了 |
| [08:15] | I look at him, and I see | 我看着他 就像看到 |
| [08:16] | a younger, less-tan version of myself. | 年轻 没这么美黑的我 |
| [08:18] | I hope one day I can follow in your footsteps. | 我希望有天能追随你的脚步 |
| [08:20] | But not to jail. Am I right? | 但不能进监狱 对吗 |
| [08:22] | Yeah, well, federal prison’s not so bad. | 联邦监狱没那么差 |
| [08:24] | He told me Allenwood had a golf course. | 他告诉我艾伦伍德监狱里有高尔夫球场 |
| [08:26] | That’s where I spent the summer. | 我夏天在那里 |
| [08:27] | – I winter-prisoned in Arizona. – Amazing. | -我冬天被关在亚利桑那州 -太棒了 |
| [08:30] | But it wasn’t worth it, because he had to give back all that money | 但这一切不值得 因为在被抓到偷钱后 |
| [08:32] | when he was caught stealing. | 他必须还钱 |
| [08:33] | Well, what your dad says is true. | 你爸说得对 |
| [08:35] | I’m down to my last several hundred million. | 我只剩最后几十亿了 |
| [08:37] | It’s tough to look at those statements. | 看财务报告太痛苦 |
| [08:39] | Okay, we’d love to stay and talk, | 我们也想多聊一下 |
| [08:40] | but Oliver and I have to get going. | 但我和奥利弗要走了 |
| [08:42] | We do? | 是吗 |
| [08:43] | We’re doing some backyard camping. | 我们要去后院露营 |
| [08:44] | – Yeah, but — – That sounds nice. | -但是 -听起来真不错 |
| [08:46] | Go with your dad. | 跟你爸爸走 |
| [08:47] | You can come visit me anytime. | 你随时都能来看我 |
| [08:49] | You know, I n– I never had a family. | 我从来没有家人 |
| [08:50] | I was too busy making money. | 因为我忙着赚钱 |
| [08:52] | And it’s hard to live with regret. | 后悔的确难受 |
| [08:53] | Regret? Oh, no, sorry, | 后悔 抱歉 |
| [08:55] | I had the wrong inflection. | 我说话的音调不对 |
| [08:56] | I never had a family. I was too busy making money! | 我从来没有家人 因为我忙着赚钱 |
| [09:01] | Mama? | 妈妈 |
| [09:02] | Will you take the middle out of my fidget spinner for me? | 帮我把指尖陀螺减压器的中间盖拿掉好吗 |
| [09:05] | Didn’t you just ask me to put it back in? | 你不是刚让我装上去吗 |
| [09:09] | I can’t find anything in this junk drawer. | 在垃圾抽屉里什么也找不到 |
| [09:12] | Heads up, honey. | 小心 亲爱的 |
| [09:16] | Why do I have to have my hair in braids? | 我为什么一定要扎辫子 |
| [09:18] | You have to do it after you treat for lice. | 治疗虱子后就得这样 |
| [09:19] | The coupon book! | 赠券本 |
| [09:23] | Stuck to an old Life Saver. | 粘上口哨糖了 |
| [09:24] | That I won’t eat until I’m alone. | 我等一个人的时候再吃 |
| [09:27] | You keep itching. | 你一直在抓痒 |
| [09:29] | Do you have head pets, too? | 你也养了脑袋宠物吗 |
| [09:30] | No. | 没 |
| [09:32] | Of course not. | 当然没有 |
| [09:34] | Can you hand me that fork? | 把叉子给我好吗 |
| [09:38] | Mamas do this sometimes. | 有时候妈妈会这样做 |
| [09:44] | Oliver, I know Spencer has made a lot of money, | 奥利弗 我知道斯宾塞赚了很多钱 |
| [09:47] | but that came at a huge price. | 但是要付出很大代价的 |
| [09:49] | In life, there are no shortcuts. | 人生没有捷径 |
| [09:51] | The only way to really make it is to get a job and work hard. | 唯一成功的方式是找工作后辛苦工作 |
| [09:54] | – I actually took a job this afternoon. – Oh, doing what? | -我下午就工作了 -做什么 |
| [09:56] | Running errands for Spencer until he’s legally permitted | 替斯宾塞跑腿 直到他可以合法地 |
| [09:58] | to step outside a half-mile radius of his property. | 离开房子半英里以外 |
| [10:01] | That’s him right now. | 他叫我 |
| [10:03] | – Is that a beeper? – Isn’t it cool? | -这是呼机吗 -是不是好酷 |
| [10:04] | It’s like a cellphone, only it does nothing. | 像手机 但什么也做不了 |
| [10:06] | I’ve got to roll. Spencer asked me to get | 我得走了 斯宾塞让我 |
| [10:08] | Crystal Pepsi and something called mousse. | 买水晶百事可乐和叫摩丝的东西 |
| [10:15] | Where are you going? | 你去哪里 |
| [10:18] | – I told you, to Melanie’s. – No, you’re not. | -我跟你说过去梅兰妮家 -你不去 |
| [10:20] | Because I am redeeming | 我要兑现 |
| [10:21] | the Mother’s Day coupons you gave me. | 母亲节你送我的赠券 |
| [10:23] | Don’t be weird. I gave those to you when I was like 10. | 别这么奇怪 那是我十岁时送你的 |
| [10:26] | I don’t see an expiration date. | 这上面没有过期日期 |
| [10:28] | Here’s one for an ice cream “Zunday”… | 这有张冰淇淋周日 |
| [10:31] | spelled with a Z. | “周日”都拼写错了 |
| [10:33] | I am not hanging out in a house crawling with bugs. | 我不会待在满屋虫子的房子 |
| [10:35] | I have that problem under control. | 我已经控制了局面 |
| [10:37] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
| [10:38] | Then why do you keep itching your head? | 那你为什么一直抓脑袋 |
| [10:40] | I’m not itching. | 我没抓 |
| [10:41] | I’m stimulating the follicles | 我在刺激毛囊 |
| [10:43] | because of female-pattern baldness. | 因为女性秃头 |
| [10:46] | It’s coming for you, too. | 你也会有这天 |
| [10:48] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [10:49] | The top of my head is just lice | 我的头顶就是一只 |
| [10:51] | with some hair around it. | 长了头发的虱子 |
| [10:52] | You can’t make me hang out in a lice-infested house. | 你不能逼我待在满是虱子的房子里 |
| [10:55] | You’re losing her, Katie. | 你要失去她了 凯蒂 |
| [10:56] | Do something. | 快想办法 |
| [10:58] | Taylor, wait! | 泰勒 等等 |
| [11:00] | Should I? | 我要这样做吗 |
| [11:01] | No. | 不 |
| [11:02] | And yet I’m doing it. | 但我还是要这样做 |
| [11:04] | Lice hat! | 虱子帽 |
| [11:05] | Now we’re infested together. | 现在我们一起长虫子 |
| [11:07] | Oh, my God! Have you gone insane?! | 我的天 你疯了吗 |
| [11:09] | I will take my 10 free hugs inside, please. | 请在屋内给我十个免费拥抱 |
| [11:18] | What’s it like on the inside? | 里面怎么样 |
| [11:19] | Taylor totally ignored me | 我给泰勒除虱子时 |
| [11:20] | while I was combing lice out of her hair. | 她全程无视我 |
| [11:22] | Now she’s holed up in her room and won’t come out. | 现在她躲在房里不出来 |
| [11:24] | Huh. Weird. | 奇怪 |
| [11:26] | I guess you could try giving her bedbugs. | 我想你可以试着让她染上臭虫 |
| [11:28] | It was a spur-of-the-moment decision. | 那是冲动下的决定 |
| [11:29] | Besides, Oliver has become a runner | 而且 奥利弗在你眼皮底下 |
| [11:31] | for a criminal on your watch. | 给罪犯跑腿 |
| [11:33] | Okay, we’ve both made mistakes. | 我们都犯了错 |
| [11:34] | Am I crazy for trying to force Taylor | 我强迫泰勒共度母女时光 |
| [11:36] | to spend mother/daughter time? | 是我疯了吗 |
| [11:37] | No, I get it. | 不 我懂 |
| [11:38] | You’re just anxious because, before you know it… | 你只是紧张 因为在你还没意识到… |
| [11:41] | Subaru commercial… | 汽车广告 |
| [11:46] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [11:48] | How are you gonna handle the Oliver situation? | 你打算怎么处理奥利弗的事 |
| [11:50] | Well, if I forbid him from seeing Spencer, | 如果我禁止他见斯宾塞 |
| [11:52] | it’s just gonna make him want to go over there more, | 只会让他更想过去 |
| [11:53] | so I’m gonna have a chat with Spencer | 所以我会找斯宾塞聊聊 |
| [11:55] | and set some ground rules. | 制定一些基本规矩 |
| [11:56] | What’s your move with Taylor? | 你对泰勒有什么打算 |
| [11:57] | I’m gonna go get some advice from Angela and Doris. | 我去找安吉拉和多瑞丝要建议 |
| [11:59] | So if it goes wrong, I can blame them. | 如果不对 我可以怪她们 |
| [12:01] | It’s nice to see I’m not the only one | 看到你不止对我一人用这招 |
| [12:02] | you use that technique on. | 真是太好了 |
| [12:03] | Yeah, but don’t worry. | 对 别担心 |
| [12:05] | You’ll always be my favorite person to blame. | 你永远是我最爱的替罪羊 |
| [12:07] | That’s sweet. | 真幸福 |
| [12:14] | I don’t know what to do. | 我不知道怎么办 |
| [12:16] | Taylor grew up overnight | 泰勒一夜之间长大 |
| [12:17] | and doesn’t want to spend time with me, | 不想再和我待在一起 |
| [12:18] | and Anna-Kat gave me lice. | 安娜凯特把虱子传染给我了 |
| [12:20] | You have lice?! | 你长了虱子 |
| [12:21] | Lice braids! | 虱子辫子 |
| [12:23] | Had lice — past tense. Combed ’em all out. | 长过虱子 过去式 全梳理下来了 |
| [12:25] | Combing doesn’t always work the first time. | 第一次梳理不一定能清理干净 |
| [12:27] | I can’t believe you hugged me. | 真不敢相信你抱了我 |
| [12:28] | So what?! I’m supposed to not go to restaurants | 怎样 我长了虱子就不能来餐厅 |
| [12:31] | and hug my friends when I have lice? | 抱朋友们 |
| [12:32] | Uh, yes. | 是的 |
| [12:34] | Doris, say something. | 多瑞丝 说点什么 |
| [12:37] | I’m three months pregnant. | 我怀孕三个月了 |
| [12:38] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:39] | So I also have a parasite | 所以我体内也有 |
| [12:40] | sucking the nutrients out of my body. | 寄生虫在吸取营养 |
| [12:42] | How did that happen? | 怎么会这样 |
| [12:44] | I was in bed guzzling Chardonnay | 我在床上喝白葡萄酒 |
| [12:46] | and watching Michael Phelps race a shark. | 看菲尔普斯和鲨鱼比赛 |
| [12:47] | Then I got so worked up that I jumped Richard | 我太激动 一下跳到理查德身上 |
| [12:50] | like it was the 17th of the month! | 好像是每月17号那样 |
| [12:52] | That’s our bone day. | 做爱日 |
| [12:54] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [12:56] | – How are you feeling? – Pissed! | -感觉如何 -气死了 |
| [12:57] | Pissed that I’m about to have my fourth child! | 快生第四个孩子快气死了 |
| [12:59] | I had eight years until my youngest left for Princeton — | 只剩八年老幺就上普林斯顿了 |
| [13:01] | September 10, 2025. | 2025年9月10日 |
| [13:04] | Then I would jet off to Majorca, | 那时我会飞去马略卡岛 |
| [13:06] | find a little villa on a cliff, | 在悬崖上找处别墅 |
| [13:07] | learn to sculpt, | 学习雕刻 |
| [13:09] | maybe take a lover — | 也许遇到一位爱人 |
| [13:10] | possibly my sculpting teacher. | 可能是我的雕刻老师 |
| [13:11] | Now this little creature moved my finish line. | 现在这个小家伙推后了我的终点线 |
| [13:13] | By the time I get to Majorca, | 等我去马略卡岛时 |
| [13:15] | I’m gonna be so old that my sculpting teacher | 我就太老了 我的雕刻老师 |
| [13:17] | is gonna rebuff my aggressive advances. | 将拒绝我的主动求爱 |
| [13:19] | Look, I come from a place | 我受到的教育是 |
| [13:21] | where everything happens for a reason. | 万事发生皆有因 |
| [13:23] | This may not be part of your plan, | 虽说这不是你计划 |
| [13:24] | but it’s obviously part of the universe’s plan. | 但显然这是上天的安排 |
| [13:26] | Oh! I see. | 我知道了 |
| [13:28] | So if I poke you hard with this fork, | 如果我用这把叉子用力戳你 |
| [13:31] | is that also part of the universe’s plan? | 这也是上天的安排吗 |
| [13:33] | – Is it, Angela?! – Don’t be mad at me. | -是吗 安吉拉 -别对我发火 |
| [13:35] | I’m not the one who uses “Rarely having sex” | 又不是我将”几乎不做爱” |
| [13:37] | as a form of birth control. | 作为节育工具 |
| [13:39] | Should I have another baby, get a fresh start? | 我应该再生一个吗 重新开始 |
| [13:41] | Are you crazy?! I’m not having a baby. | 你疯了吗 我才不会生孩子 |
| [13:43] | I have to figure out a way to get closer to the one I have. | 我只需要想办法亲近已经有的孩子 |
| [13:46] | They’re looking at you. | 她们在看你 |
| [13:47] | Say something. | 说点什么 |
| [13:49] | – Diaphragm. – Exactly. | -避孕膜 -正是 |
| [13:51] | Whew! I got lucky on that one. | 运气真好 |
| [13:53] | What else was in that coupon book? | 赠券本上还有什么 |
| [13:55] | What am I gonna do, pillow fight? | 我要做什么 枕头大战 |
| [13:57] | I could come up with something better than that. | 我可以想到更好的 |
| [14:00] | Pillow fight! | 枕头大战 |
| [14:01] | What the hell are you doing? | 你在做什么 |
| [14:02] | Having the time of our lives! | 享受开心的时刻 |
| [14:04] | I could hit you all day. | 我可以打上你一整天 |
| [14:07] | I lied. That’s exhausting. | 骗你的 好累 |
| [14:11] | No wonder sorority girls are in such good shape. | 难怪姐妹会的人身材那么好 |
| [14:13] | – Are we done? – Look, I’m sorry. | -完了吗 -对不起 |
| [14:16] | I just want to spend time with you. | 我只想与你共度时光 |
| [14:17] | That’s why I broke out the old coupon book you gave me. | 所以我才拿出你送我的旧赠券本 |
| [14:20] | Why didn’t you just use them when I gave them to you? | 你为什么不在我送你的时候用 |
| [14:24] | I don’t actually know. | 我不知道 |
| [14:26] | Mama! Will you squeeze the toothpaste on my toothbrush? | 妈妈 帮我挤牙膏好吗 |
| [14:29] | Sure, honey! | 好的 宝贝 |
| [14:31] | Just so you know, that’s why. | 这就是原因 |
| [14:33] | What’s that supposed to mean? | 这是什么意思 |
| [14:34] | You never used them because | 你从来没用 |
| [14:35] | you were always so distracted by Anna-Kat. | 因为你总是去照顾安娜凯特 |
| [14:37] | I mean, I get it. | 我懂 |
| [14:39] | She’s had issues — has issues. | 她以前有问题 现在有问题 |
| [14:42] | But she’s eight now. | 但她现在8岁了 |
| [14:43] | She can put on her own toothpaste | 她可以自己挤牙膏 |
| [14:45] | and take the crust off her toast. | 切掉吐司的硬边 |
| [14:46] | I’ve seen her do it. | 我见过她做这些事 |
| [14:47] | Have you seen her put the center | 你见过她把指尖陀螺 |
| [14:48] | back in the fidget spinner? | 减压器的中间盖装回去吗 |
| [14:50] | Only about a million times. | 无数次 |
| [14:52] | Anna-Kat. | 安娜凯特 |
| [14:55] | Taylor, honey, I feel terrible. | 泰勒 亲爱的 真是对不起 |
| [14:58] | Tell you what. | 跟你说 |
| [15:00] | I will let you have one free hit. | 我让你免费打一下 |
| [15:06] | Never let your guard down! | 永远不要放下警惕 |
| [15:14] | Oh, hey, Greg. | 格雷格 |
| [15:15] | I was expecting Oliver. | 我以为是奥利弗 |
| [15:16] | I sent him out for some lobster. | 我让他出去买龙虾 |
| [15:18] | Got nostalgic for prison food. | 有点怀念监狱食物 |
| [15:20] | I can’t believe my tax dollars paid for that. | 真不敢相信我交的税就是这样用了 |
| [15:22] | You pay taxes? | 你交税 |
| [15:27] | Greg, I know why you’re here. | 格雷格 我知道你为什么来这里 |
| [15:29] | – You’re afraid I’m going to corrupt your boy. – Yes. | -你担心我带坏你的儿子 -是的 |
| [15:32] | He looks up to you, and whether I like it or not, | 他崇拜你 不管我喜不喜欢 |
| [15:34] | you’re a bit of a role model to him. | 你是他的榜样 |
| [15:35] | Well, that’s — that’s understandable. | 这是可以理解的 |
| [15:38] | I’d feel the same way about me | 如果我刚搬到自己隔壁 |
| [15:39] | if I had just moved in next to myself. | 我也会这样看待自己 |
| [15:41] | I will say, your confidence is quite intoxicating. | 我得说 你的自信相当能感染人 |
| [15:44] | I’ve been drunk on it since birth. | 我从出生后就一直沉醉其中 |
| [15:47] | You don’t want me hanging around him. | 你不希望我和他来往 |
| [15:49] | – If that’s what you want, I’ll respect it. – Thank you. | -如果这是你的想法 我尊重 -谢谢 |
| [15:53] | But you should know he’s been a real great asset to me. | 但你应该知道 他对我而言很重要 |
| [15:55] | He has? | 是吗 |
| [15:58] | I’m not used to showing weakness | 我不习惯表现出弱点 |
| [16:00] | because, in business, it could cost you money. | 因为在商界 这会损失金钱 |
| [16:02] | In prison, well, you end up with a terrible tee time. | 在监狱 就会得到可怕的开球时间 |
| [16:05] | I must admit, I’ve been a bit lost since I got out. | 我得承认 我出狱后有些迷惘 |
| [16:08] | Things have changed. | 世道变了 |
| [16:09] | Do you know there’s no longer Blockbuster Video? | 你知道没有百视达影碟出租店了吗 |
| [16:11] | Yeah. I miss Gerald’s employee picks. | 是啊 我怀念杰拉尔德的员工推荐 |
| [16:14] | He and I were really simpatico. | 他和我志趣相投 |
| [16:15] | Oliver’s getting me back up to speed. | 奥利弗让我跟上节奏 |
| [16:17] | He’s a really great kid, | 他是非常棒的孩子 |
| [16:19] | and that’s because he has great parents. | 那是因为他有非常棒的父母 |
| [16:21] | I feel like you’re manipulating me. | 我感觉你在操控我 |
| [16:22] | A little. | 有点 |
| [16:24] | So, what’s it gonna take? | 开个价 |
| [16:26] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [16:27] | How much to make you change your mind? | 多少钱能让你改变心意 |
| [16:29] | $10,000? | 一万 |
| [16:31] | You can’t pay me to hang out with my son. | 你不能买通我同意你和我儿子来往 |
| [16:34] | $1 million. | 一百万 |
| [16:35] | – Seriously? – No. | -真的吗 -不 |
| [16:37] | But now that I know there’s a price, | 但现在我知道是有价的 |
| [16:39] | my lawyer will be in touch. | 我的律师会联系你 |
| [16:41] | Ugh. Okay. | 好吧 |
| [16:44] | Anna-Kat, chalk down. | 安娜凯特 放下粉笔 |
| [16:46] | The days of me doing everything for you are over. | 你让我为你做所有事的日子结束了 |
| [16:49] | New rule — if you can do it, you’re doing it. | 新规矩 你能做的事要自己做 |
| [16:51] | For example, | 举例说 |
| [16:53] | I know you can put toothpaste on your own toothbrush. | 我知道你可以自己挤牙膏 |
| [16:55] | Taylor! | 泰勒 |
| [16:57] | You can also start your own banana, | 你可以自己剥香蕉皮 |
| [16:59] | stick a straw in a juice box, and put on your own tights. | 把吸管插进果汁盒 自己穿上连裤袜 |
| [17:01] | Am I clear? | 听明白了吗 |
| [17:03] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [17:05] | Good. | 很好 |
| [17:06] | Okay, Mama. | 好的 妈妈 |
| [17:08] | I’ll just start doing everything all by myself. | 我会开始自己做所有的事 |
| [17:11] | Nice try, but I know you can turn on and off | 想得美 但我知道 |
| [17:13] | the waterworks like that. | 你的眼泪说来就来 |
| [17:15] | Oliver! | 奥利弗 |
| [17:26] | Listen, I no longer want you hanging out with Spencer. | 听着 我不希望你再和斯宾塞来往 |
| [17:29] | He’s not the type of person we want you learning from. | 我不希望你像他这种人学习 |
| [17:31] | Who said anything about learning? | 谁说了学习 |
| [17:33] | Dad, Spencer’s an old man. | 爸 斯宾塞老了 |
| [17:35] | He’s alone and has nobody in his life. | 孤单一人 生活中没有其他人 |
| [17:37] | I’m happy to hang out with him and run errands. | 我很乐意和他来往 帮他跑腿 |
| [17:39] | Oh, so you’re looking out for him? | 你在照顾他吗 |
| [17:40] | Yeah, let me finish. | 让我说完 |
| [17:42] | Once I become his confidante and best friend, | 一旦我成为他的知己好友 |
| [17:44] | I could also become his sole heir. | 我就能成为他唯一的继承人 |
| [17:46] | And that might pay off sooner rather than later, | 这事宜早不宜迟 |
| [17:47] | based on the amount of aspartame he consumes. | 考虑到他吃了那么多糖精 |
| [17:49] | – Oliver, I don’t think that — – Spencer has no family. | -奥利弗 我不觉得… -他没家人 |
| [17:52] | But you know who does? | 但你知道谁有 |
| [17:53] | You do, big guy. | 你有 伙计 |
| [17:55] | And it’s a great family. | 非常棒的家人 |
| [17:57] | Now, let’s do some backyard camping. | 开始后院露营吧 |
| [17:59] | I feel like you’re manipulating me. | 我感觉你在操控我 |
| [18:02] | A little. | 有点 |
| [18:08] | I feel like I failed her as a mom. | 我觉得我这个当妈失败了 |
| [18:10] | Just so you know, if we never had Anna-Kat, | 你要知道 如果没生安娜凯特 |
| [18:13] | Taylor would be telling you | 泰勒会告诉你 |
| [18:14] | you’re smothering her with attention | 你太过关注令她窒息 |
| [18:15] | and ruining her life. | 你毁了她的生活 |
| [18:16] | There’s no winning in parenting. | 做家长没有赢 |
| [18:18] | I’m certainly not winning with Oliver. | 我对奥利弗也没赢 |
| [18:20] | Don’t feel bad. | 别难过 |
| [18:21] | It’s just Oliver’s nature. | 这是奥利弗的天性 |
| [18:22] | – I don’t like it. – Neither do I. | -我不喜欢 -我也是 |
| [18:24] | We need to treat him like a dog on a leash. | 我们要当他是拴着链子的狗 |
| [18:27] | He’s gonna try sniffing around, | 他会到处嗅 |
| [18:28] | but he needs to feel the tension of us | 但他需要感受到我们永远会 |
| [18:30] | always yanking him back. | 拉他回来的力度 |
| [18:32] | – Maybe we should cut ourselves more slack. – Yeah. | -也许我们不应该对自己太苛责 -对 |
| [18:34] | None of our kids are on drugs or have face tattoos, | 我们的孩子都没吸毒 没有脸上纹身 |
| [18:37] | and we’ve never lost track of a child for more than two hours. | 而且我们从来没丢过孩子超过两小时 |
| [18:39] | You put it that way, we’re killing it. | 这样说来 我们做家长做得太成功了 |
| [18:41] | So let’s put it that way. | 那就这样说 |
| [18:43] | Thanks for making me feel better. | 谢谢你安慰我 |
| [18:45] | Anytime. | 随时 |
| [18:58] | – Raw cookie dough is so good. – Right? | -生饼干面团真好吃 -对吧 |
| [19:00] | Totally worth playing diarrhea roulette for this. | 完全值得冒腹泻的危险 |
| [19:04] | Thank you for talking to Anna-Kat. | 谢谢你和安娜凯特谈 |
| [19:06] | Of course. | 不客气 |
| [19:08] | I guess I was spending so much time on your little sister | 我在你妹妹身上花了太多时间 |
| [19:11] | that our time got lost in the mix. | 我们相处的时间减少了 |
| [19:13] | I’m so sorry, sweetie. | 真是对不起 宝贝 |
| [19:15] | I really am. | 真的 |
| [19:17] | Thanks, Mom. | 谢谢你 妈妈 |
| [19:18] | If I could do it all over again, | 如果我可以再来一次 |
| [19:19] | I would’ve given you more attention and fewer bugs. | 我会多给你一些关注 少给些虫子 |
| [19:23] | Mama! | 妈妈 |
| [19:25] | You’re a big girl! | 你是个大姑娘了 |
| [19:27] | I’m sure, whatever it is, you can figure it out on your own. | 我相信无论是什么事 你可以自己解决 |
| [19:30] | Okay! | 好的 |
| [19:33] | I don’t know what to do with you little guys. | 我不知道怎么处理你们这些小家伙 |
| [19:36] | I can’t keep you alive without a warm human host. | 没有温暖的人类寄主你们无法活下去 |
| [19:43] | Welcome home. | 欢迎回家 |
| [19:51] | I got some maternity clothes for the new mama. | 我为准妈妈准备了孕妇装 |
| [19:55] | They’re really just shirts I’ve grown out of. | 只是我胖到穿不了的衣服 |
| [19:59] | I’m sorry for giving you guys lice. | 抱歉把虱子传染给你们 |
| [20:01] | But it could’ve been anybody. | 任何人都有可能 |
| [20:04] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [20:07] | I’m sorry to you, too. | 对不起 |