| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | They say one day a meteor will strike the Earth, | 人们说有天流星会撞地球 |
| [00:02] | obliterating life as we know it, | 消灭我们已知的生物 |
| [00:04] | but it’s not coming soon enough to help me. | 但这天来得太晚帮不到我 |
| [00:06] | You see, my neighbor, Fat Pam, | 我的邻居胖帕姆 |
| [00:07] | is giving up and moving to Vermont. | 放弃这里要搬到佛蒙特州去了 |
| [00:10] | She’s had enough of the skinnies in this town, | 她受够了这里的排骨精 |
| [00:12] | and once Fat Pam is gone, I am going to be the s– | 一旦胖帕姆走了 我就是第二胖… |
| [00:16] | Anna-Kat! Do not pee in the yard! | 安娜凯特 不要在院子里撒尿 |
| [00:19] | Mom, I’ve thought about it, | 妈 我想过了 |
| [00:21] | and I refuse to participate | 根据原则我拒绝参加 |
| [00:22] | in the school food drive on principle. | 学校的食物募捐活动 |
| [00:24] | And what principle is that? | 什么原则 |
| [00:26] | Westport homeless people have better stuff than we do. | 西港的流浪汉拥有的东西比我们的还好 |
| [00:28] | Nude Norman rides a bike that’s worth more than our car. | 裸诺曼骑的单车比我们的车还贵 |
| [00:31] | And when he does wear clothes, | 他穿衣服的时候 |
| [00:33] | they’re Ms. Halloran’s cashmere hand-me-downs. | 穿的是哈洛伦小姐穿过的羊绒衫 |
| [00:35] | It’s a little thing called charity, Oliver. | 这个叫慈善 奥利弗 |
| [00:37] | It’s the worst thing for him. | 这样做对他一点好处也没有 |
| [00:38] | Nude Norman isn’t gonna get a job | 裸诺曼不会找工作的 |
| [00:40] | if it’s open season on free cans of creamed corn. | 如果免费奶油玉米罐头任他吃的话 |
| [00:42] | I’m not gonna lie to you — | 我不会骗你 |
| [00:43] | We boned it pretty bad with this one. | 为了造他我们费了好大的劲 |
| [00:46] | Oliver has one goal in life — to be rich. | 奥利弗的人生只有一个目标 做有钱人 |
| [00:51] | And it sure doesn’t help that we’re living here in Westport, Connecticut. | 我们住在康乃迪克州西港市更是雪上加霜 |
| [00:55] | It’s the kind of town | 在这里 |
| [00:56] | where people have big houses and tiny butts, | 人们的房子大屁股小 |
| [01:00] | where every idiot has a boat and a Labradoodle. | 所有白痴都有船和贵宾狗 |
| [01:02] | I’ll make it easy for you. | 我简单说吧 |
| [01:03] | Here’s a Labradoodle on some idiot’s boat. | 这是贵宾狗在某个白痴的船上 |
| [01:06] | Then there’s us — We’re renters. | 然后就是我们 我们是租客 |
| [01:08] | We’re here because Westport has a great public school | 我们来这里是因为西港有非常棒的公立学校 |
| [01:11] | with special programs for our Anna-Kat… | 针对我们的安娜凯特有特别课程 |
| [01:14] | I’m getting great at peeing outside. | 我在外面尿尿更拿手了 |
| [01:16] | Dry socks. | 袜子没湿 |
| [01:17] | …who just might need a little extra help. | 她可能需要额外的帮助 |
| [01:24] | Anna-Kat has a touch of the anxieties. | 安娜凯特有点焦虑症 |
| [01:30] | Not Rain Man anxiety, | 不是雨人那种焦虑症 |
| [01:32] | but it’s not in the family newsletter. | 但绝对不会写在家庭通讯报上 |
| [01:37] | Clean. | 干净了 |
| [01:38] | She’s my favorite. | 她是我最爱的孩子 |
| [01:40] | That’s right — I said it. | 没错 我说了 |
| [01:41] | I said it in my head. | 我在脑海里说的 |
| [01:43] | You need to read my report and check my work. | 你要看我的报告检查我的作业 |
| [01:45] | Yeah. No. | 不 |
| [01:46] | I was in the charge of the Trail of Tears diorama, | 我负责的是”泪水之路”[美国西进运动] |
| [01:49] | which I nailed. | 我做完了 |
| [01:50] | The solar system project is all Dad. | 太阳系的作业是爸爸负责的 |
| [01:52] | Upstairs. | 楼上 |
| [01:53] | My husband Greg, at rest in his natural habitat. | 我的老公格雷格 在他的自然栖息地里休息 |
| [01:56] | Mommies of the world, I ask you — | 全世界的妈妈们 我问你们 |
| [01:58] | what would happen if we all took | 如果每天早上我们都悠闲地 |
| [02:00] | a leisurely half-hour dump every morning? | 拉上半小时的大便 会发生什么事 |
| [02:03] | What about the plops? | 粑粑落下的扑通声呢 |
| [02:04] | I don’t want to hear any plops. | 我不想听到任何扑通声 |
| [02:05] | Easy-peasey chicken squeezie. | 兔子乖乖不听不听 |
| [02:07] | Lemon squeezie. | 是把门儿打开 |
| [02:09] | I can still hear! | 我依然可以听到 |
| [02:11] | Now, don’t come out until you get those signed. | 没拿到签字前别出来 |
| [02:17] | Breakfast, Taylor. | 早餐 泰勒 |
| [02:19] | This is Taylor, my oldest, | 这是泰勒 我的大女儿 |
| [02:21] | whose life has been one, long awkward phase | 一直以来都是笨笨的不起眼的模样 |
| [02:23] | until last Thursday when the Boob Fairy | 直到上周四咪咪仙女 |
| [02:25] | paid her a visit. | 来找她 |
| [02:27] | I used to look like that. | 我以前也是这样 |
| [02:28] | Let’s see what she looks like after three kids. | 等她生了三个孩子后走着瞧 |
| [02:31] | Morning, Mom. | 早上好 妈 |
| [02:31] | She’s growing up so fast. | 她成长得真快 |
| [02:34] | How are you stocked for feminine things? | 女性用品准备了吗 |
| [02:36] | I’m stocked. | 我准备了 |
| [02:37] | And I really don’t want to hear | 我真的不想再听 |
| [02:38] | another one of your bled-through-my-pants stories. | 你的裤子上全是血的故事 |
| [02:40] | Hey, my mother never talked to me about any of this stuff. | 我妈从来没跟我说过这些 |
| [02:42] | I spent half of sixth grade | 我六年级有一半时间 |
| [02:44] | with a sweat sock in my underpants | 都在内裤里塞了只臭裙子 |
| [02:45] | convinced I was dying. | 觉得我快死了 |
| [02:48] | Yeah, that’s a lie. | 这是谎话 |
| [02:49] | It happened to this Pakistani girl I used to know | 这是一个我认识的由爷爷养大的 |
| [02:51] | who was raised by her grandfather. | 巴基斯坦女孩的事 |
| [02:55] | Would now be a good time to ask for a pet owl? | 现在要一只宠物猫头鹰合适吗 |
| [02:58] | I don’t know if there’s ever a good time for that. | 我想任何时候都不合适 |
| [03:01] | Tell your mom thanks for sending you in here | 跟你妈说谢谢她让你来这里 |
| [03:03] | for this quality daddy-daughter toilet time. | 让我们共度了这么愉快的父女马桶时光 |
| [03:05] | Okay, Daddy. | 好的 爸爸 |
| [03:06] | Anna-Kat, close the door, honey. | 安娜凯特 亲爱的 关门 |
| [03:08] | Close the door, baby. | 关门 宝贝 |
| [03:09] | Anna– Ah, forget it. | 安娜 算了 |
| [03:13] | Oh, Fat Pam, why are you abandoning me, | 胖帕姆 你为什么要抛弃我 |
| [03:16] | my jolly, plus-sized, ham-ass neighbor? | 我那快乐加大码肥屁股的邻居 |
| [03:20] | Oh, God. Here comes Nude Norman. | 老天 裸诺曼来了 |
| [03:23] | He’s not naked. | 他没裸呀 |
| [03:24] | Yeah, well, to be fair to him, it was only that one time. | 公平来说 就裸过一次 |
| [03:31] | For the love of all things, where was I? | 凭着万物的爱 我说到哪里了 |
| [03:33] | Oh, yes. | 对了 |
| [03:34] | Once Fat Pam is gone, I am going to be | 胖帕姆走了后 我就会成为 |
| [03:36] | the second-fattest housewife in Westport. | 西港第二胖的家庭主妇了 |
| [03:41] | Damn you, Fat Pam. | 该死的 胖帕姆 |
| [03:50] | Have a good day, sweetie. | 祝你今天愉快 亲爱的 |
| [03:52] | Remember how Dr. Ellie taught you | 还记得埃莉医生教你的 |
| [03:54] | to do that little secret thing with your fingers | 手指偷偷做那个动作吗 |
| [03:56] | to relax yourself? | 让自己放松 |
| [03:59] | Try that today. | 今天试试 |
| [04:00] | Okay, Mommy. | 好的 妈妈 |
| [04:04] | Bye. | 再见 |
| [04:12] | Oh, God help her. | 上帝帮帮她 |
| [04:17] | Ugh. Westport mommies. | 西港妈妈们 |
| [04:19] | Flat stomachs, tight, high asses, | 平坦的小腹 坚实翘起的屁股 |
| [04:22] | thighs that don’t touch, | 碰不到一起的大腿 |
| [04:23] | and those stupid green drinks. | 还有那讨厌的绿色饮品 |
| [04:30] | Oh, great. | 这下可好 |
| [04:32] | Not only is Taylor growing up, | 泰勒不仅是长大了 |
| [04:33] | but she’s growing up to be one of them. | 还长成了她们中间的一员 |
| [04:35] | My full-time job is to make sure | 我的全天候工作就是确保 |
| [04:37] | two of my kids fit in less and one fits in more. | 我两个孩子少融入一些 剩下一个更融入 |
| [04:47] | Oh, Katie! | 凯蒂 |
| [04:51] | You have something on the back of your shirt. | 你衣服后面有东西 |
| [04:54] | That’s pizza. | 那是披萨 |
| [04:56] | I thought it came out in the wash. | 我以为洗掉了 |
| [04:59] | How did you get a pizza stain on the back of your shirt? | 衣服后面怎么会有披萨印 |
| [05:01] | Honest answer? | 老实说 |
| [05:03] | I was either wearing it backwards when I ate the pizza, | 要么我吃披萨时穿反了 |
| [05:05] | or I’m wearing it backwards now. | 要么是现在穿反了 |
| [05:08] | Yeah, now. | 现在穿反了 |
| [05:11] | I love you, Katie. | 我爱你 凯蒂 |
| [05:13] | You’re so real. | 你太真了 |
| [05:14] | “You’re so real” Is Westport Mommy Code | 你太真了 这是西港妈妈暗语 |
| [05:18] | for “You shouldn’t be eating that or driving that, | 就是说 你不该吃那个或开那辆车 |
| [05:20] | and I saw you unbutton your pants at that stoplight.” | 我看到你在红灯时解裤扣 |
| [05:22] | Thanks, Suzanne. | 谢谢你 苏珊 |
| [05:24] | Bye. | 再见 |
| [05:31] | What do you say, bitches? | 怎么说 姐妹们 |
| [05:32] | Second breakfast? | 第二顿早餐 |
| [05:33] | Yes. | 好 |
| [05:35] | Celeste never even wanted to carry a child. | 塞莱斯特根本不想怀孩子 |
| [05:37] | I’m the one whose genitals took one for the team…twice. | 为了我们 我的生殖器牺牲了两次 |
| [05:40] | And yet, now she’s fighting me | 现在她却跟我争 |
| [05:42] | for the last vial of our family sperm. | 家里最后一瓶精液 |
| [05:44] | Enough about me and my bitter lesbian divorce. | 别再说我那苦逼的女同志离婚了 |
| [05:47] | Well, I’ve got some news. | 我有事要说 |
| [05:49] | Pam just put her house on the market. | 帕姆把房子挂牌出售了 |
| [05:51] | – Fat Pam? – Rich Fat Pam? | -胖帕姆吗 -有钱胖帕姆吗 |
| [05:53] | She’s moving to Vermont. | 她要搬到佛蒙特州去 |
| [05:54] | And I’m going to be | 我将成为 |
| [05:56] | the second-fattest housewife in Westport. | 西港第二胖的家庭主妇 |
| [05:58] | – Not possible. – No way. | -不可能 -不会的 |
| [06:00] | Okay, there’s Evelyn. The biggest. | 好吧 最胖的是埃芙琳 |
| [06:02] | Thank God for Evelyn. | 好在有她 |
| [06:03] | Name another woman around here fatter than me. | 再说一个这里比我胖的女人 |
| [06:11] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [06:12] | Katie. | 凯蒂 |
| [06:13] | The women around here are freaks. | 这里的女人都是怪人 |
| [06:15] | There’s nothing wrong with you. | 你没什么不好的 |
| [06:16] | You’re beautiful and amazing. | 你很美很了不起 |
| [06:18] | And they’re just totally giving — | 她们只是… |
| [06:19] | What the hell is that woman over there wearing? | 那边的女人戴的是什么 |
| [06:21] | Is that a Fitbit? | 那是运动追踪器吗 |
| [06:22] | Uh, yeah. That’s a Fitbit. | 对 是的 |
| [06:23] | But she’s wearing two of them. | 但她戴了两个 |
| [06:24] | Yeah, she is. One on each wrist. | 是的 一个手腕戴了一个 |
| [06:27] | I literally cannot conceive of a reason | 我真的没办法想到一个原因 |
| [06:30] | why a person would need to wear two Fitbits. | 为什么一个人需要戴两个运动追踪器 |
| [06:32] | When did it become okay for women our age | 从什么时候开始我们这个年纪的女人 |
| [06:34] | to do nothing but diet and work out? | 除了节食就是健身 |
| [06:37] | It’s all those damn fools do. | 那些该死的笨蛋就是这样做的 |
| [06:38] | It’s completely absurd | 太可笑了 |
| [06:39] | and a total waste of feminine energy. | 完全是浪费女性的活力 |
| [06:42] | I object to it deeply and on every level. | 我深深地反对 在所有层面上都反对 |
| [06:44] | On every level. | 所有层面 |
| [06:46] | Do you know what you are, Katie? | 你知道你是什么吗 凯蒂 |
| [06:48] | You’re a revolutionary. | 你是革命者 |
| [06:49] | Half the women in this country are over a size 14, | 全国一半女性都超过14码 |
| [06:52] | and they’re made to feel bad about themselves. | 她们生来就缺乏自信 |
| [06:53] | Who came up with the idea that a mother of three | 是谁想到的 三个孩子的妈妈 |
| [06:55] | should have an ass like a 19-year-old? | 应该有着19岁少女的屁股 |
| [06:56] | Oh, you have a great ass, Katie. | 你的屁股可漂亮了 凯蒂 |
| [06:58] | Like a couple of ripe cantaloupes in your pants. | 你裤子里像有两个成熟的香瓜 |
| [07:02] | Thank you. I know. | 谢谢你 我知道 |
| [07:04] | I’ll tell you one thing — | 我告诉你们 |
| [07:05] | I’m not going on some stupid diet. | 我不会进行愚蠢的节食 |
| [07:06] | Greg pretty much wants to have sex with me all the time anyway. | 反正格雷格总是想和我做爱 |
| [07:09] | I’m not really interested | 我没兴趣 |
| [07:10] | in giving him any added incentives. | 再给他额外的刺激 |
| [07:12] | Sex on a full stomach after midnight | 午夜吃饱后做爱 |
| [07:14] | against my will? | 而且我没兴趣 |
| [07:17] | You have to sit next to me while I watch “Castle” | 我看《灵书妙探》时你得坐在旁边 |
| [07:19] | and let me talk about Nathan Fillion’s hair. | 让我谈论男主角的头发 |
| [07:21] | I told you that makes me feel self-conscious. | 我跟你说了这样让我不自信 |
| [07:23] | His hair is so lustrous. | 他的头发好有光泽 |
| [07:24] | Oh, we’re talking two full episodes | 我们要看两集 |
| [07:25] | if I don’t make you wear the sleeping mask. | 如果我不让你戴眼罩的话 |
| [07:27] | You know I love the way you look. | 你知道我喜欢你的样子 |
| [07:28] | I ate something weird. | 我吃了些奇怪的东西 |
| [07:33] | You — You feel different. | 你摸起来不同 |
| [07:36] | Different how? | 怎么不同 |
| [07:37] | Like a, uh… | 就像 |
| [07:40] | brand-new bag of flour. | 一袋新面粉 |
| [07:43] | It’s my Spanx. | 是我的塑身衣 |
| [07:45] | Oh, let’s just get those off of you, then. | 那就脱掉 |
| [07:47] | That’s not gonna work. They’re hooked to my bra. | 这样脱不掉 和文胸是一起的 |
| [07:50] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [07:50] | Well, if you do it right, it turns gut into boob. | 如果戴得对 肚子肉变咪咪 |
| [07:53] | – Well, they do look good. – Well, they should. | -看起来真不错 -当然 |
| [07:55] | They’re 1/3 gut. | 三分之一是肚子肉 |
| [08:02] | I feel good. | 我感觉好极了 |
| [08:04] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [08:04] | I always feel a tiny bit sick, but not in a bad way. | 我一直觉得有点小恶心 但不难受 |
| [08:08] | Is your top on backwards? | 你的上衣穿反了吗 |
| [08:10] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [08:15] | Taylor, | 泰勒 |
| [08:15] | tell your brother how well you did with the food drive last year. | 告诉你弟弟去年食物捐赠你做得有多好 |
| [08:18] | I did very well. | 我做得棒极了 |
| [08:20] | I don’t believe in giving hand-outs. | 我不相信什么赠与的鬼话 |
| [08:22] | This constant doling out of freebies | 这种定期发放免费赠品 |
| [08:24] | violates my principles, | 违反了我的原则 |
| [08:25] | and it’s tearing this country apart. | 也让这个国家分崩离析 |
| [08:27] | I don’t like it, Mom. I don’t like it one bit. | 我不喜欢 妈 一点也不喜欢 |
| [08:29] | They told me to stop | 我怀你时 |
| [08:30] | eating soft cheeses while I was pregnant with you, | 他们让我别再吃软干酪 |
| [08:32] | but I didn’t listen. | 但我没听 |
| [08:34] | And this is what happens. | 看看下场 |
| [08:37] | I think that’s a weird thing to say to a child. | 这样对孩子说话很奇怪 |
| [08:40] | Listen to me, Oliver. | 听我说 奥利弗 |
| [08:41] | Bring in some damn cans of food for the food drive tomorrow, | 明天给食物捐赠拿些罐头去 |
| [08:44] | and that is a direct order. | 这是命令 |
| [08:46] | Okay, fine. | 好的 |
| [08:47] | But shouldn’t you be focusing on your kids who needs focusing? | 但你不应该关心你需要关心的那个孩子吗 |
| [08:50] | How’s school, Anna-Kat? | 今天在学校怎么样 安娜凯特 |
| [08:51] | Well, I don’t have any friends. | 我一个朋友也没有 |
| [08:55] | Of course you have friends, sweetie. | 你当然有朋友了 亲爱的 |
| [08:57] | Today it was because I wouldn’t hold hands in partner tag. | 今天没有 因为玩配对抓人游戏时我不愿意牵手 |
| [08:59] | Why didn’t you hold hands in partner tag? | 你为什么不愿意牵手 |
| [09:00] | Because I don’t want to catch people’s invisible germs. | 因为我不想染上别人的无形的细菌 |
| [09:03] | What? What are you talking about? | 什么 你说什么呢 |
| [09:05] | That’s how you get sick. | 这样会生病 |
| [09:06] | – That is not how you get sick. – Pretty sure it is. | -生病不是因为这个 -是的 |
| [09:10] | Right. | 对 |
| [09:11] | Germs are made up. | 细菌是编造的谎言 |
| [09:14] | Everyone’s crazy. | 所有人都疯了 |
| [09:17] | So… | 那么 |
| [09:18] | I came up with a few ways | 我想到了一些办法 |
| [09:20] | to stop Fat Pam from leaving town. | 阻止胖帕姆搬家 |
| [09:22] | If she can’t sell her house, she can’t move, right? | 房子卖不出去她就走不了 对吗 |
| [09:25] | Oh, this can’t miss. | 不会错 |
| [09:26] | Number 1 — remove three tires from car | 第一 下掉三个车轮胎 |
| [09:28] | – and park on lawn. – Next. | -停在草坪上 -下一个 |
| [09:30] | Take in Urban Youth | 引入小阿飞 |
| [09:31] | or people who just seem terrorist-y. | 或是看起来像恐怖分子的人 |
| [09:35] | No. | 不 |
| [09:35] | We become “The end is near” People. | 学那些”末日快来啦”的人 |
| [09:37] | You know those people, “End is near!” | 那些人说”末日快来啦” |
| [09:39] | I’m not gonna do that. | 我不会这样做的 |
| [09:40] | Two words — tampon wind chime. | 两个字 卫生棉条风铃 |
| [09:45] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:47] | Put two hogs in yard. | 在院子里放两只猪 |
| [09:48] | Did you actually write that on the paper? | 你真写在纸上了吗 |
| [09:50] | And I put a star next to it. | 我在旁边画了个星 |
| [09:51] | Greg. | 格雷格 |
| [09:52] | I know you think that I’m acting crazy, | 我知道你觉得我是疯了 |
| [09:55] | but there’s Evelyn, there’s Pam, | 但有埃芙琳 帕姆 |
| [09:57] | and then there’s me. | 然后才是我 |
| [09:58] | With Pam gone, I move up a notch. | 帕姆一走 我的名次又上升一位 |
| [10:02] | And it’s like stepping into a really bright spotlight. | 就像走进了非常亮的聚光灯下一样 |
| [10:05] | And it’s making me feel really bad about something | 我本来就感觉不好了 |
| [10:07] | that I don’t already feel great about in the first place — | 这样一来感觉更糟糕 |
| [10:10] | being fat. | 我是个胖子 |
| [10:12] | Oh, sweetie. | 亲爱的 |
| [10:14] | This is the part where you say I’m not fat. | 这时候你要说我不胖 |
| [10:16] | You’re not fat. | 你不胖 |
| [10:17] | Instead of trying to scare away all the buyers, | 与其吓走所有的买家 |
| [10:19] | wouldn’t it be easier to find a larger-ish-type gal | 找一个更大码的姑娘来买 |
| [10:24] | to buy the house instead? | 不是更简单吗 |
| [10:26] | And there it was. | 就是这样 |
| [10:27] | It was right in front of me the whole time. | 答案一直在我面前 |
| [10:29] | If it was O.J., | 如果是OJ的话[著名杀妻案] |
| [10:30] | it would have murdered me in front of my own dog. | 早就在我的狗面前把我给杀了 |
| [10:32] | I need to find myself a ripe fatty | 我要给自己找一个大胖子 |
| [10:35] | and get her into Fat Pam’s house, | 让她买下帕姆的房子 |
| [10:37] | and fast. | 而且要快 |
| [10:45] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [10:48] | So, we’re looking for the right kind of buyer — | 我们要寻找合适的买家 |
| [10:50] | someone bigger than me. | 比我胖的人 |
| [10:52] | Any skinnies who seem interested, | 任何看起来想买房子的排骨精 |
| [10:54] | scare ’em off. | 把她们吓走 |
| [10:55] | Is it too late for tampon wind chimes? | 现在弄个卫生棉条风铃太迟了吗 |
| [10:57] | You had your chance. | 机会过去了 |
| [11:01] | I mean, it’s probably just a coincidence | 可能只是巧合 |
| [11:03] | that the whole family got cancer. | 全家人都得了癌症 |
| [11:05] | Right? | 对吧 |
| [11:09] | I come into this house to see my dead friends. | 我来这里找我的死人朋友 |
| [11:14] | We often wonder why an arsonist would be so obsessed | 我们经常好奇 为什么一个纵火犯会如此纠缠 |
| [11:17] | with our little neighborhood. | 我们这个社区 |
| [11:27] | Oh, my God. It’s Two Fitbits. | 我的天 两个运动追踪器 |
| [11:28] | Who? | 谁 |
| [11:29] | That woman over there wearing two Fitbits. | 那边的女人戴着两个运动追踪器 |
| [11:33] | Why would anyone need to wear two Fitbits? | 为什么会有人需要戴两个运动追踪器 |
| [11:35] | I know! | 就是啊 |
| [11:36] | This is why I tolerate the look of your feet! | 这就是我可以忍受你的脚的原因 |
| [11:39] | Well, just go over there | 我们过去 |
| [11:40] | and convince her not to buy this house. | 说服她不买这栋房子 |
| [11:41] | It’s no use. | 没用的 |
| [11:42] | There hasn’t been | 整个下午 |
| [11:43] | a single tubby person in this place all afternoon. | 没一个胖子来这里 |
| [11:46] | I might as well accept it — | 我还是接受事实吧 |
| [11:47] | I’m going to be Vice Fattest. | 我要成为副肿桶了 |
| [11:51] | We should go. | 我们走吧 |
| [12:13] | Why, hello there. | 你好啊 |
| [12:19] | She seemed to really love that house. | 她看起来很喜欢这栋房子 |
| [12:21] | And she’s bigger than me, right? | 她比我胖 对吗 |
| [12:23] | Yeah, there’s no getting around her on the sidewalk. | 在人行道上别想从她身边挤过去 |
| [12:25] | Anna-Kat, honey, | 安娜凯特 宝贝 |
| [12:26] | you know we’re super proud of you, right? | 你知道我们非常为你骄傲吧 |
| [12:28] | For doing what, holding hands during germ tag? | 为什么事 细菌抓人游戏中牵手吗 |
| [12:30] | Yes. No. | 是的 不是 |
| [12:32] | Not germ tag. | 不是细菌游戏 |
| [12:33] | We’re proud of you for trying something new. | 我们骄傲 你敢于尝试新事物 |
| [12:37] | Thanks, Mommy. | 谢谢你 妈妈 |
| [12:40] | Is that one of those green healthy drinks? | 这是那个绿色健康饮品吗 |
| [12:42] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [12:43] | I will not have that in this house. | 家里不准有这个 |
| [12:47] | Dad, I’ll leave you to handle this. | 爸 交给你处理 |
| [12:50] | Could I talk to you for a minute? | 可以谈谈吗 |
| [12:51] | – Okay. – Yeah, please. | -好的 -过来 |
| [12:52] | – All right. – Okay. | -好的 -好 |
| [12:54] | So, you’re acting crazy. | 你的表现太离谱了 |
| [12:56] | You know who drinks those green drinks? | 你知道谁会喝这些绿色饮品吗 |
| [12:57] | All those horrible women in this town. | 这里所有可怕的女人 |
| [12:59] | I will not have my daughter become one of them — | 我不能让我的女儿成为她们中的一员 |
| [13:01] | 40-year-olds who are trying to look like teenagers. | 四十多岁的女人拼命扮嫩装少女 |
| [13:04] | But Taylor is a teenager. | 但泰勒本来就是少女 |
| [13:06] | I will not have my teenage daughter | 我不会让我的少女女儿 |
| [13:07] | acting like a 40-year-old trying to act like a teenager. | 表现的像四十多岁的女人拼命扮嫩装少女 |
| [13:10] | Okay, I’m just gonna relocate these, okay? | 我把这些换个地方 |
| [13:14] | You know we have a step stool. | 你知道我们有梯凳吧 |
| [13:17] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [13:19] | Oliver’s teacher just e-mailed. | 奥利弗的老师发邮件来了 |
| [13:21] | Apparently, today, he brought in a single can | 看来今天他带了一罐过期的 |
| [13:23] | of expired cat food for the poor. | 猫粮给穷人 |
| [13:26] | How do you think we should handle — | 你觉得我们应该怎么做 |
| [13:27] | Oliver! | 奥利弗 |
| [13:29] | Hey, Mom. | 妈 |
| [13:31] | Hey, that’s my money! | 那是我的钱 |
| [13:32] | You just lost it all, my friend. | 你刚失去了所有 朋友 |
| [13:34] | I am giving it to a charity of my choosing. | 我要捐赠给我选的慈善组织 |
| [13:37] | Mom! That’s for my Roth IRA! | 妈 这是我的退休账户 |
| [13:39] | Your wha– | 你的什么 |
| [13:40] | I will not have you be one of these | 我不会让你成为这里的 |
| [13:42] | money-obsessed brats in this town. | 贪财混蛋之一 |
| [13:44] | You are not getting this back until you do something good | 你别想拿回去 除非你为你以外的人 |
| [13:46] | for someone other than yourself. | 做件好事 |
| [13:48] | I worked hard to save that money. | 那是我努力辛苦赚的钱 |
| [13:49] | This is straight-up communism. | 你这是绝对的共产主义 |
| [13:52] | You’re right. | 你说对了 |
| [13:52] | It is communism, and I’m — | 这是共产主义 我是 |
| [13:54] | Who was worse, Lenin or Stalin? | 谁更差劲 列宁还是斯大林 |
| [13:56] | Pretty sure Stalin killed the most people. | 相当肯定斯大林杀的人比较多 |
| [13:58] | I’m Stalin. | 我是斯大林 |
| [14:06] | I think I’m sick, Mama. | 我想我病了 妈妈 |
| [14:09] | You know how lots of times you think you’re sick, | 你也知道很多次你觉得你病了 |
| [14:11] | but you’re not really sick? | 其实你没病 |
| [14:13] | Do you think maybe this is one of those times? | 你觉得这次也是吗 |
| [14:21] | She says she never wants to touch anyone’s hand ever again. | 她说她永远不会再碰其他人的手了 |
| [14:25] | She thinks she got sick from partner tag. | 她觉得是玩配对抓人游戏才生病的 |
| [14:27] | Where would she get such a crazy idea? | 她为什么会有这种疯狂的想法 |
| [14:29] | A science textbook? A doctor? | 科学课本 医生 |
| [14:32] | I knew it. | 我知道了 |
| [14:33] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:33] | She gets this from you. | 她跟你学的 |
| [14:35] | I’m straight-up mentally healthy in the germ department. | 在细菌方面 我的心态是很健康的 |
| [14:37] | Remember that time that cat licked your leg | 还记得那次有只猫舔了你的腿 |
| [14:39] | and you actually screamed? | 你大声尖叫吗 |
| [14:40] | It had very red lips. | 它的嘴唇好红 |
| [14:41] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:42] | Well, this is your mess. | 这是你造成的 |
| [14:43] | And unless you want our daughter | 如果你不希望咱们的女儿 |
| [14:45] | to never touch another human ever again, | 这辈子再也不碰其他人类的话 |
| [14:47] | you need to get in there and fix it. | 就进去解决问题 |
| [14:54] | Okay. Here it is in a nutshell. | 好的 简单来说 |
| [14:56] | Friends are more important than germs. | 朋友比细菌更加重要 |
| [14:59] | What do you mean, “In a nutshell”? | 为什么说”在坚果壳里”[同词] |
| [15:01] | Forget I said “Nutshell.” | 别管我说了什么 |
| [15:01] | Friends are more important than germs. | 朋友比细菌更加重要 |
| [15:04] | Friends are more important than germs? | 朋友比细菌更加重要 |
| [15:07] | That’s right. | 对 |
| [15:08] | And someday, you’re gonna have a gazillion friends | 以后 你会有数不尽的朋友 |
| [15:10] | ’cause you are what we call an original. | 因为你是那么的纯真 |
| [15:12] | Just remember to always wash your hands. | 记住随时洗手 |
| [15:14] | And never pee at a state fair. | 永远别在州市集上撒尿 |
| [15:15] | Greg! | 格雷格 |
| [15:16] | Friends are more important than germs. | 朋友比细菌更加重要 |
| [15:20] | Thanks, Daddy. | 谢谢你 爸爸 |
| [15:29] | You convinced me. | 你说服了我 |
| [15:30] | We’ve put in our offer well above the asking price. | 我们的出价远高于开价 |
| [15:33] | I had to outbid | 我必须战胜 |
| [15:34] | some chicken-legged lady in yoga pants. | 那些穿着瑜伽裤的筷子腿 |
| [15:35] | I love you! | 我爱你 |
| [15:36] | You have no idea how happy I am! | 你不知道我有多开心 |
| [15:41] | I am so glad you talked us into Westport. | 我真高兴你说服我们来西港 |
| [15:43] | I had to. I couldn’t let you go. | 必须的 我不能放你走 |
| [15:45] | Well, we were a little hesitant to move here, to be honest. | 说实话 要搬来我们有些犹豫 |
| [15:48] | Because of all the rich blacks. | 因为有很多有钱的黑人 |
| [15:50] | What’s that, now? | 什么情况 |
| [15:51] | There are a lot of them, right? | 有很多对吗 |
| [15:52] | And gays “Raising kids” Together? | 还有同性恋 一起养孩子 |
| [15:55] | I guess we just do our best to avoid them. | 看来只能尽力回避他们了 |
| [15:59] | See you around! | 回见 |
| [16:01] | Was I really willing to let this happen, | 我真的乐意发生这样的事吗 |
| [16:03] | to welcome this racist homophobe to the neighborhood | 欢迎这个憎恨同性恋的种族主义者来到这个社区 |
| [16:06] | just so I could feel better | 这样我能对 |
| [16:07] | about myself and my well-nourished body? | 我那营养过剩的身材感觉好些吗 |
| [16:09] | Could I do such a thing | 就为了不做 |
| [16:10] | just to keep from becoming | 西港第二胖的家庭主妇 |
| [16:12] | the second-fattest housewife in Westport? | 我就能做出这样的事吗 |
| [16:14] | Gail! | 盖尔 |
| [16:16] | Welcome to Westport! | 欢迎来到西港 |
| [16:20] | Apparently, I could. | 显然我可以 |
| [16:37] | Madame. | 夫人 |
| [16:39] | Norman! | 诺曼 |
| [16:41] | Honey, look who’s at the door! | 亲爱的 看谁来了 |
| [16:44] | I like your sweater. | 我喜欢你的毛衣 |
| [16:46] | Do you know when you’ll be done with it? | 你什么时候扔掉 |
| [16:49] | Hey, Norman. | 诺曼 |
| [16:52] | Hello, little lady. | 你好 小姑娘 |
| [16:53] | Friends are more important than germs. | 朋友比细菌更加重要 |
| [16:55] | Would you like to be my friend? | 你想做我的朋友吗 |
| [16:59] | I would be honored to be your friend. | 我很荣幸做你的朋友 |
| [17:01] | I have a friend! | 我有朋友了 |
| [17:03] | That’s wonderful. | 太好了 |
| [17:05] | Come on. Come on. | 进来 进来 |
| [17:07] | Come on, sweetie. | 进来 宝贝 |
| [17:08] | Let’s go wash that hand. | 咱们去洗手 |
| [17:10] | Sorry for the intrusion. | 抱歉打扰 |
| [17:12] | Oliver said I could find him here. | 奥利弗叫我来找他 |
| [17:14] | Uh, it’s okay, Mom. I’ve got this. | 没事 妈 我来 |
| [17:16] | Hi, Norm. | 诺曼 |
| [17:17] | Oh, no. | 别想 |
| [17:19] | I’m not going anywhere. | 我不会走开的 |
| [17:20] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [17:21] | I finished the yardwork. | 我做完了院子的杂活 |
| [17:23] | No breaks except for a couple bathroom emergencies | 没有休息 除了几次厕所紧急事件 |
| [17:25] | and double-time, just like you suggested. | 双倍工资 就像你建议的 |
| [17:27] | The Wilsons and the Gordons want me back next week! | 威尔逊一家和戈顿一家叫我下周再去 |
| [17:31] | We’re in business! | 我们有生意了 |
| [17:32] | Here’s your cut. | 这是你的提成 |
| [17:36] | Bye. | 再见 |
| [17:38] | I told you to do something good for someone else. | 我叫你为别人做好事 |
| [17:42] | I did something great for someone else. | 我为别人做了非常好的事 |
| [17:43] | I taught a man to fish. | 授人以鱼不如授人以渔 |
| [17:45] | Did you see the light in his eyes? | 你没看到他眼中的光芒吗 |
| [17:47] | You took money from a homeless person. | 你拿一个流浪汉的钱 |
| [17:49] | Hey, I lined up the jobs for him, | 我给他介绍的工作 |
| [17:51] | so I got something for my trouble. | 付出了就要拿钱 |
| [17:52] | It’s a little thing called capitalism. | 这叫做资本主义 |
| [17:54] | Seriously, Oliver? | 你不是吧 奥利弗 |
| [17:55] | You are acting like a pimp in a Lifetime movie. | 你就像电视电影中的皮条客一样 |
| [17:58] | I don’t know what to do with you anymore. | 我都不知道拿你怎么办 |
| [17:59] | How about nothing? | 什么都不做怎么样 |
| [18:01] | If I thought I might be a girl on the inside, | 如果我觉得内心是女生 |
| [18:03] | you’d let me wear a skirt to school. | 你会让我穿裙子上学 |
| [18:04] | This is no different. | 其实这没区别 |
| [18:05] | I should be allowed to be who I am. | 我应该被允许做我自己想做的 |
| [18:08] | No. | 不 |
| [18:09] | Well, you’re not being who you are. | 你不也伪装自己吗 |
| [18:11] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
| [18:12] | Anna-Kat told me about scaring away | 安娜凯特跟我说了 |
| [18:14] | the thin ladies at the open house. | 看房参观日那天你吓走那些瘦女人 |
| [18:16] | Very poor example you’re setting, Mom. | 你树立了坏榜样 妈妈 |
| [18:18] | Damn it. He’s right. | 见鬼 他是对的 |
| [18:19] | When did I start caring about what other people think? | 从什么时候我开始在乎其他人的想法了 |
| [18:22] | I practically invented food shopping in pajamas. | 我发明了穿着睡衣逛食品店 |
| [18:24] | I’m not gonna let this town change me or my kid. | 我不会让这个地方改变我和我的孩子 |
| [18:27] | You are going to donate 20% of that money to the Food Bank. | 你要捐20%的收入给食物银行 |
| [18:30] | 5% 5%. | |
| [18:31] | 15% 15%. | |
| [18:32] | 6% 6%. | |
| [18:33] | 80% 80%. | |
| [18:35] | 10% 10%? | |
| [18:37] | Deal. | 成交 |
| [18:41] | I need to fix the mess I made next door | 我得解决我造成的隔壁的麻烦 |
| [18:42] | no matter what it takes. | 不管花什么代价 |
| [18:44] | But how do you get a racist homophobe | 但怎样让一个憎恨同性恋的种族主义者 |
| [18:46] | to fall out of escrow? | 放弃合同呢 |
| [18:49] | Hi, Gail. | 盖尔 |
| [18:50] | Hi, neighbor. | 邻居 |
| [18:51] | I would like for you to meet Angela, my wife and lover. | 你来见见安吉拉 我的妻子兼爱人 |
| [18:54] | I’ve heard so much about you. | 我听了很多关于你的事 |
| [19:02] | Welcome to the neighborhood. | 欢迎来到这里 |
| [19:08] | Mom! Front door for you! | 妈 有人找你 |
| [19:11] | Mother of balls, it’s Two Fitbits. | 你娘的 两个运动追踪器 |
| [19:15] | Mom, this is our new neighbor, Viv. | 妈 这是新邻居维芙 |
| [19:17] | Oh, I love your earrings. | 我喜欢你的耳环 |
| [19:19] | Oh, thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [19:20] | – Mom, don’t you like them? – No, I don’t. | -妈 你不喜欢吗 -不喜欢 |
| [19:22] | So, you bought the house across the street. | 你买了对面的房子 |
| [19:24] | Turns out the first buyer got cold feet. | 没想到上一个买家临阵怯场了 |
| [19:30] | Your house is so cozy. | 你的家真舒适 |
| [19:33] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:34] | Adorable, really. | 真的好可爱 |
| [19:36] | Yeah, I know. | 我知道 |
| [19:36] | It is. | 是的 |
| [19:37] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:38] | And I’m gonna love getting my hands on you. | 我非常乐意对你动手 |
| [19:42] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
| [19:42] | I used to be a big girl. | 我以前也很胖 |
| [19:44] | I can totally help you. | 我可以帮你 |
| [19:46] | We can go walk-jogging together. | 我们可以一起去走跑 |
| [19:49] | You walk and then you run | 先走 再跑 |
| [19:50] | and then you walk and then you run. | 再走再跑 |
| [19:52] | And then you just run. | 然后就是跑 |
| [19:54] | Yeah, not one part of that is going to happen. | 你说的完全不可能发生 |
| [19:57] | I love it. | 我喜欢 |
| [19:58] | I love you. | 我喜欢你 |
| [20:00] | You’re so real. | 你太真了 |
| [20:01] | And there it was again — | 又来了 |
| [20:03] | the damning Westport “You’re so real.” | 该死的西港”你太真了” |
| [20:05] | Oh, you’re like a little cherub. | 你像个胖嘟嘟的小天使一样 |
| [20:08] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [20:15] | I’m gonna buy you a Fitbit. | 我要给你买一个运动追踪器 |
| [20:20] | And the truth is, Two Fitbits was right. | 事实是 “两个运动追踪器”说得对 |
| [20:22] | I am real, and I need to keep my kids real | 我很真 我需要让我的孩子们也很真 |
| [20:25] | if I’m going to raise them in this town. | 如果我决定在这里把他们抚养成人的话 |
| [20:28] | I’m not giving up like Fat Pam, so watch out, skinnies. | 我不会像胖帕姆那样投降 小心了 排骨精们 |
| [20:33] | I’m officially | 我正式成为 |
| [20:35] | the second-fattest housewife in Westport. | 西港第二胖的家庭主妇了 |
| [20:37] | I’m not thrilled about it, but I’m owning it. | 我不开心 但我接受 |
| [20:39] | Oh, and also… | 还有 |
| [20:41] | I’m eating this. | 我要吃这个 |
| [20:45] | So, all I have to do | 我要做的 |
| [20:46] | is keep Taylor in bulky sweaters for a few years | 就是让泰勒穿几年的宽松运动衫 |
| [20:48] | and then try to slap some sense into Oliver. | 然后好好给奥利弗讲道理 |
| [20:50] | You look good. | 你真漂亮 |
| [20:54] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [20:55] | I was talking | 我在说 |
| [20:56] | about the challenges with our children. | 咱家孩子给我们的挑战 |
| [20:58] | Our kids are fine. | 我们的孩子很好 |
| [21:06] | You were saying? | 你刚才说什么 |
| [21:07] | What? You never wanted | 怎么了 你从来不想 |
| [21:09] | to take everything red out of your room? | 把房间里所有的红色东西拿走吗 |