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我为喜剧狂(30 Rock)第7季第11集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 我为喜剧狂(30 Rock)第7季第11集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
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[00:14] ***** 你失败了 Liz
[00:14] You fail Liz. 你失败了 Liz
[00:16] You let the show get cancelled,and we all died. 节目被砍了 我们也都死了
[00:19] No,I didn’t. It wasn’t my fault. 不是我的错
[00:21] When we talked about this dream,we said we were gonna be cowboys. 我们讨论过做此类梦时 应该扮演牛仔
[00:25] Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your… 你的错 你的错 …
[00:30] Wake up. Liz,wake up! 醒醒 Liz 醒醒
[00:34] – The twins are coming. – What? – 双胞胎要来了 – 什么?
[00:36] Yeah,I just got an email from Bev at the adoption agency. 领养中心Bev刚发了封邮件来
[00:38] It’s from hotjuggsbev2@adoption.Gov. 地址是hotjuggsbev2@adoption.Gov
[00:42] Guess there’s another full-figured Bev at the office there. 估计那办公室还有个肥婆叫Bev吧
[00:44] Oh,my God,flight 124 on January 29th. 天哪 一月29号的124次航班
[00:48] That’s in five days. It’s happening so fast. 还有不到五天了 好快
[00:50] We don’t even know where they’re coming from. 他们从哪来 我们都不知道
[00:51] Airbike flight 124 out of Houston’s George Bush airport. 124次航班的小型飞机已离开 休斯顿的乔治・布什机场
[00:54] – It’s not my airport! – Let it go,Liz. – 不是我的机场 – 别纠结啦 Liz
[00:57] Wait,if they’re coming from Houston,they won’t have winter clothes. 等下 从休斯顿来 肯定没冬衣呢
[00:59] They’re gonna need jackets and hats. 要给他们买夹克衫和帽子
[01:00] How big is an eight-year-old’s head? I’m thinking,like,a bowling ball? 八岁的小孩头有多大呢 我想 大概保龄球那么大吧
[01:03] No,bowling ball’s too small. It’s like a basketball. 保龄球太小了 起码是篮球大小
[01:05] A small basketball that you win at the fair. 小篮球 你在游乐场玩游戏赢的那种
[01:06] You’re describing a bowling ball. 你说的就是保龄球嘛
[01:08] Okay,kids coming,show to save,DVR at 98%, 好啦 孩子们要来了 要去拯救节目 DVR录到98%了
[01:11] but I’m just never in the mood to watch Treme. 可我完全没有看”劫后余生”的心情
[01:13] Okay,first things first… I’ll watch a bunch of tremes. 首先 我先连补”劫后余生”
[01:16] I’ll go to the sporting goods store and measure balls. 那我去体育用品店 测量球的大小
[01:17] I’m gonna need a cloth tape measure. To Ikea! 我需要卷尺 去宜家搞定
[01:32] Hey,sorry I late,but Treme gets good if you stick with it. 抱歉来晚了 可要能坚持看下去 “劫后余生”还是不错的
[01:36] So is TGS safe now? Will you uncancel us? TGS没事了吧 你要收回成命了吧
[01:40] Lemon,I can’t start my tenure as CEO Lemon 我不能刚当上CEO
[01:42] by reversing my predecessor’s decisions in order to help my weird buddy. 为了帮怪咖朋友 就推翻前任的决定
[01:47] But while I can’t help directly,I have,through back-channels… 不过我可以曲线救国
[01:50] – Like B.E.T.? – Back channels. – 像黑人娱乐电视台那样 – 是秘密渠道
[01:52] I have secured you a lifeline. 我替你解围了
[01:54] The Kabletown board has agreed to hear a presentation from you tonight Kabletown董事会同意今晚听你的陈述
[01:57] to convince them that TGS is worth more alive than dead. 说服他们TGS值得经营下去
[02:01] Perfect. I’ve sold this show once before you were even here,and I crushed it. 很好 之前我就推销过一次节目 被我搞砸了
[02:05] It’s a topical sketch-comedy show for a little demographic 这是时事讽刺喜剧 受众是小群体
[02:08] that’s,oh,I don’t know,51% of the population. 大概也就51%的人口吧
[02:12] I’ll take that nod as a yes. 点头就算赞同了
[02:14] Lemon,this is not a question of selling your creative vision. Lemon 这不是卖你创意的时候
[02:17] Thanks to Hazel’s lawsuit,TGS has cost this company millions of dollars. 多亏Hazel的官司 TGS浪费了数百万
[02:22] Okay,well,we can make cuts. 那我们可以削减开支
[02:23] You’ll have to do a lot more than trim the budget,Lemon. 你要做的不仅仅是会计 Lemon
[02:25] Your show can’t cost NBC any money at all. 你的节目不能再花NBC一分钱了
[02:29] – That’s impossible. – Impossible? – 那不可能啊 – 怎么不可能
[02:30] Would any of your female heroes say that? 你哪个女偶像会说这话吗?
[02:33] Would Amelia Earhart or dian fosse or Joan of Arc? Amelia Earhart(女飞行员) Dian Fossey(女动物学家) 或是Joan of Arc(圣女贞德) 谁会说?
[02:36] Boy,women who try to do things sure get killed a lot. 老天 女人们一发狠 结局都不咋地啊
[02:40] You know what? I can do this. 知道嘛 我可以的
[02:42] I’ve saved the show before,and I ain’t afraid of no board! 之前我就保过节目 我也不怕董事会
[02:46] Lemon,expensive musical cues are exactly the sort of thing you can’t afford anymore. Lemon 音乐表演的尾白 那费用太高 你节目也付不起了
[02:51] * Na na net na net,dorp * * Na na net na net 完了 *
[03:06] 30 ROCK Season 07 Episode 11
[03:12] You’ve got Lemon. Make lemonade. 得人如我 拨开云雾见太阳啊
[03:14] Hey,when do you think you’re gonna be home? 你什么时候能回来
[03:15] ‘Cause we gotta do some power nesting. 我们要把小窝好好改造一番
[03:16] Upstairs,I want to paint a mural of Houston for the kids, 楼上呢 给孩子们画上休斯顿壁画
[03:19] but I’m terrible at drawing swamp humidity. 可是沼泽的湿气好难画
[03:21] I don’t know,Criss,late. 我不确定 Criss 晚点吧
[03:22] I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. 抱歉 我会弥补的
[03:24] – Sex on the couch? – Sex on the couch? – 沙发上爱爱吗? – 沙发上爱爱?
[03:26] That’s a good one,Criss. I’ll call you later. 那不错啊 Criss 晚点打给你
[03:29] Okay. 好
[03:31] Listen up,jagweeds,it’s go time! 听好了 傻X们 是时候了
[03:33] We are at Defcon 5 here. 现在是第五级戒备状态(一共才5级)
[03:34] The lowest level of defense preparedness? Fantastic. 最低级备战状态吗? 好棒
[03:38] Have you dudes ever been to deafcon,the comic book convention for deaf people? 有人去过’聋人会展’吗 是聋人漫画博览会
[03:42] Man,if you’re a dude who can hear,you are just knee-deep in… 若你不是聋子 就会深陷于…
[03:44] This is serious. Our show is cancelled! 情况很严重啊 节目被砍了
[03:47] Now,we all need to pull together,wing to wing,and oar to oar. 现在要同心协力 同舟共济啊
[03:52] Fine,I’ll Skip to the end. 好啦 不说废话 直击重点
[03:54] And that little boy’s name was Marshall Mathers. 阿姆曾是叫Marshall Mathers的小男孩
[03:57] So who’s with me? 谁与我同在?
[04:00] LL,did you save the show yet? LL 你保住节目没
[04:02] ‘Cause j-mo and I have a new problem. 因为我和J-mo又有新麻烦了
[04:04] Last night at a party,we urinated into the same fountain during a lightning storm. 昨晚的派对 雷雨交加 我们在同个喷泉里尿尿了
[04:08] And I think we switched brains. 我觉得我已经跟她灵魂互换了
[04:10] No,I haven’t saved the show yet. 没 我还没救回来
[04:11] I cannot save the show without all of us stepping up. 大家这样 我也毫无办法
[04:15] We get one shot at this. Tonight. 我们只有一次机会 就在今晚
[04:17] We have to do a sample show,so you guys need to start writing. 我们要做个节目的小样 你们得开始动笔了
[04:20] We have to rally our fans,so you two are doing press all day. 我们得召集粉丝 你俩(you two)要宣传一整天
[04:23] I’m glad the band U2 is doing press all day. 幸好U2整天也在做宣传
[04:26] Jenna,quick,run,before Liz Lemon realizes what I did. Jenna 快 跑 趁Liz Lemon回神之前
[04:30] Do you think this is a joke? 你们还当这是儿戏嘛
[04:31] If TGS goes away,you are actors without a show. TGS没了 你们就是三无小演员
[04:34] And,hornberger,you and I are gonna slash the budget like we’ve never slashed it before. 你跟我要开始大笔削减预算
[04:39] Are you ready? 你准备好了么?
[04:40] My whole life has been building to this moment. 时刻准备着
[04:44] – Has it really? Oh,God. – Yeah. – 有那么糟? 天呐 – 是捏
[04:48] – You wanted to see me,sir? – No. – 您找我有事? 先生 – 错
[04:51] I wanted to see… 我要见的是…
[04:54] Kenneth the page. 听差Kenneth
[04:56] Kenneth the page. That’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time. 听差Kenneth 很久没人这么叫我了
[05:00] Some say he’s dead,but others hear his name on the wind. 有的说他已经死了 有的又说他还行迹于江湖
[05:03] We don’t have a lot of time here… what do you say? 别浪费时间了 你干不干?
[05:06] I can’t say no to these colors. 对这制服我可说不了“不”
[05:08] I bleed blue and gray. 我流着的是蓝与灰之色的血
[05:10] Especially where I stepped on that nail. 特别是我踩上了钉子的时候
[05:12] Excellent. I’ve got a V.I.P.tour group coming in, 好极了 我有一群贵宾要来参观
[05:15] and I want my most experienced page to lead it. 而我需要最具资历的听差去带队
[05:17] Now,who will be on this tour? 来参观的都有谁呢
[05:20] I like to cater my presentation to the audience. 我好准备迎合不同需求
[05:22] For example,if they’re Japanese, 比如说 要是日本人的话
[05:24] I’ll make sure we accidentally walk in on a blonde woman peeing. 我会”碰巧”让他们遇见一个金发 妞撒尿
[05:27] Kenneth,you’ll be showing around the five final candidates for my old job at NBC. Kenneth 你带领的是即将接任我的 五名候选人
[05:31] Now,they think this just a formality before the final interview, 他们以为这只是最终面试前的过场
[05:34] but the tour is the final interview. 而这过场就是最终面试
[05:37] It’s an old G.E. trick. 通用电气的老把戏了
[05:38] You can only truly judge a man who doesn’t know he’s being judged. 只有在他毫无防备的情况下你才 看得出一个人的本性
[05:41] It’s like NBC’s TV version of Willy Wonka,starring Bob Uecker. 就像NBC以前Bob Uecker演的 TV版的查理和巧克力工厂一样
[05:45] I do admire Wonka. He’s a true capitalist. 我很敬佩Wonka 他是一个真正的资本家
[05:48] His factory has zero government regulations,slave labor,and an indoor boat. Wonderful. 他的厂子完全不受政府约束 工人全是 奴隶 里面还可以划船 赞呀
[05:52] During the tour,the candidates will drop their guard 在参观过程中 这些候选人会放松 警惕
[05:54] and show their true selves without even knowing it. 不知不觉的便露出了真性情
[05:57] And then you choose the one who’s purest of heart. 然后你选出心地最善良的那个
[06:00] What? No. Kenneth,this is broadcast television. 什么? 才不是呢 Kenneth 这可是 电视台
[06:03] It’s a nasty,ruthless business. 这行水可深呀
[06:05] No,sir. It’s a magical,Ruth-filled business! 不 先生 这是一个神奇的 慈悲为怀的行当
[06:09] It’s dying,and its leader needs to be a grave robber 这行要完了 他的领袖得狠得下心
[06:12] who’ll strip every last bauble off the corpse. 能榨干大众的最后一点油水
[06:14] I’m getting concerned about who we’re gonna pick here. 我在想我们该选谁呢?
[06:16] There is no “we”,Kenneth. You’re giving a tour. 不是我们 Kenneth. 你领队参观
[06:19] I’m picking the next president of NBC. 我来选NBC的下届总裁
[06:21] – Understood? – Yes,sir. – 懂否? – 是的 先生
[06:24] Of course… 必须的…
[06:27] Not. 才怪
[06:32] All the right things we have to do to make the show cheaper, 为了削减开支我们得
[06:34] gut the crew,no more taped pieces,fire Danny,scrap all the sets, 降低薪水 停用录影带 开除Danny 去掉所有的场景布置
[06:38] and shoot everything on greenscreen. 以后录节目都在绿幕里录
[06:40] No. Greenscreen always looks so fake. 不要 绿幕看起来好假的
[06:43] Yeah. 说的也是
[06:44] But to actually break even,we need somebody to sponsor the show. 但要真的收支平衡 就得靠拉赞助才行
[06:48] Ugh,what,then I’ll have some executive from Nokia – giving me notes? 难不成我去找诺基亚主管开条子?
[06:51] Oh,you wish. We couldn’t get them before the lawsuit. 想得美 我们打官司之前都拉不到他们
[06:54] Right now,our only advertisers are NBC.com and a German guy who wants to eat somebody. 我们现在仅有的广告商就是NBC.com 和那个要吃人的德国人
[07:00] And even Gunter’s having doubts. 就是Gunter都不会来呀
[07:01] Okay,so I need to find someone to put their name on the show,and I can’t be picky. 也就是说我得去拉个赞助 还不能太挑
[07:05] Whatever it takes. 随便怎样都行
[07:06] I get it. You need a sugar daddy. 我懂了 你要找个干爹
[07:09] So dazzle me. 那么 惊我一下吧
[07:10] Why should Bro Body Douche get in TGS’s panties? 干嘛一定要赞助你们女生秀?
[07:13] – Well,Broseph… – Sup? – 这么说吧 Broseph… – 干嘛?
[07:17] I think TGS and Bro Body Douche would be tight. 我觉得TGS秀和坏男孩节目之间有着 紧密的联系
[07:20] – Totes? – Nah mean? – 是么? – 明白不?
[07:22] – No homo. – Mos def. – 不带基味儿的 – 必须的
[07:23] So… jeah? 这么说…你同意?
[07:25] Look,Betty,I don’t know if it is jeah. 镁铝 我不知道呢
[07:28] TGS,it sounds like a news Channel,or an STD you know I’ve got. TGS秀 听起来像新闻频道 又感觉像是我染的花柳病
[07:32] We could change it. We’re open to anything. 我们可以改名的 我们什么都愿意接受
[07:35] That’s what you said 你也就说说而已
[07:38] look,don’t get me wrong.I like Tracy Jordan. Dude’s a baller. 听着 表误会 我喜欢Tracy Jordan 他可是大腕儿
[07:41] I like that you’ve got a slut on the show,even if she is a little boned out. 我也喜欢你们节目的那个小骚货 尽管她有点儿煞风景
[07:44] And I love the sexual harassment thing. Noice! 而且我超爱你们整出的性骚扰事件 牛X
[07:47] But if you’re gonna get in bed with the douche,it’s not just gonna be the tip. 但想要坏男孩入伙 光这点儿可不够
[07:50] This is senior year. 这可是整高级的
[07:52] We’re go need creative approval,brand mentions.
[07:54] And the whole tone of the show needs to be more… Um… 而且整个节目的调调得更…
[07:58] have you ever seen the porn version of Transformers? 你看过色情版的变形金刚没?
[08:01] Blorch! Look,do we have a deal? 我滴个神呐 你到底赞不赞助?
[08:04] Almost. It’d be weird if my show were created by a woman. 别急 女的来做我的节目感觉怪怪的
[08:06] So could your credit be Todd Debeikis? 你可以化名成Todd Debeikis不?
[08:10] It’s in honor of my frat bro. 为了纪念我一兄弟会的弟兄
[08:11] Died during hell week after passing out in the trough. 倒在水槽里一周后就死了
[08:13] I went to Syracuse. 我上的是锡拉丘兹大学 生来就没爹!
[08:22] Oh,God. 神呐!
[08:23] Liz is wrong,right? If the show goes away,we’ll be fine. Liz搞错了吧 这剧砍了我们也没事儿
[08:27] Yeah,I got some stuff on the back burner. 没错 我炉子后面放的东西
[08:29] Left unattended long enough,the house burns down… Insurance money. 没管它 结果房子烧了 保险公司给赔了
[08:32] I mean,lots of people got more famous after their TV shows have ended. Like George Clooney. 我是说很多人剧被砍了还更出名了 像George Clooney
[08:37] We just need to have our next great roles lined up. 我们只要有后路就成
[08:40] Like how,after E. R.,Clooney had dumb,gay Batman. 就像克鲁尼在急诊室的故事后演了二逼基佬蝙蝠侠
[08:42] But parts like dumb,gay Batman come around once in a generation. 二逼基佬蝙蝠侠可是百年一遇的角色
[08:46] If TGS goes away,what are the chances that there’ll be two perfect roles,one for each of us? 如果TGS停播 还能有两角色都这么适合我们吗?
[08:51] But we don’t need two roles if we play siamese twins! 如果我们演连体婴就不用两个角色了
[08:56] – One is the president. – The other’s Santa Claus. – 一个是总统 – 另一个是圣诞老人
[08:58] And they’re both in love with the same woman… Elvira! 他们都爱上了同一个女人 Elvira
[09:01] Tracy,Jenna. So I hear you’re rallying fans to save your show. Tracy Jenna 听说你们在召集粉丝拯救节目
[09:05] Tell me,what’s going on with TGS? 跟我说说TGS怎么了
[09:08] Actually,kristy,we’d like to talk about our amazing upcoming project. kristy 其实我们更想谈规划中的计划
[09:12] It’s a movie called Heads of state. 一部电影叫国家元首
[09:14] Colon… The rise of doctor Ronfulus. 冒号 Ronfulus医生的崛起
[09:17] The third floor is also home to NBC news. Fun news fact. 三楼还是NBC新闻的驻扎地 有趣的现象是
[09:21] The Today show was originally designed to entertain prison inmates “今日秀”本来是制作给囚犯看的
[09:24] whose IQs were too low for them to be executed. 那些因智商太低无法处死的囚犯
[09:28] What I think is a fun fact is that the Today show is NBC’s most profitable news program. 有趣的点在于 “今日秀”现在是NBC最吸金的新闻节目
[09:33] 12 hours of daily “news funtertainment” with very low overhead. 成本低 却每日运转12小时 提供新闻趣料
[09:37] We pay most of our hosts in white wine. 大多数主持都是以白葡萄酒代薪金
[09:39] But I’m wondering,is there a way to make it even more profitable? 但我仍想知道是否有更赚钱的办法
[09:43] More of a party atmosphere. 增加点派对的氛围
[09:44] Food segments where you could order the food. 可点菜的食品区
[09:46] Show it again later on e!,but have gay guys make fun of it. 在e!网上重播有基佬吐槽的版本
[09:48] I guess,for some people,the today show is about money. 我想 对于某些人 “今日秀”是摇钱树
[09:52] But for me,it’s about America starting its day together. 但对我 它让全美在一起展开新的一天
[09:57] And it’s about seeing your friends Matt and Savannha,and your Butler Al. 还让你和老朋友Matt and Savannha碰面 还有你的男管家Al
[10:00] Oh,I watch the Today show. 我也看 “今日秀”
[10:02] This morning,out on the Plaza,Al made a classic weather pun. 今早Al在广场讲了个一流的天气双关
[10:05] Janu-where is the snow? 一月-哪里有雪呢?
[10:07] – Yes. – Pure of heart. – 对 – 纯洁的心
[10:09] Kenneth… a word. Kenneth 借一步说话
[10:13] Was I not clear earlier about your role I this process? 是我之前没说清楚你在这的任务吗?
[10:16] I am sorry,sir,but this is bigger than both of us. 很抱歉 但这比我俩都重要
[10:19] It’s NBC. “We comedy.” 这里是NBC 我们就是喜剧
[10:22] Kenneth,it’s “we peacock comedy.” You say the peacock. Kenneth 是我们让喜剧放光彩 你漏了放光彩
[10:25] What? That’s insane. 什么 这不科学
[10:26] I will continue with this tour myself,Parcell. 我自己会带队继续参观 Parcell
[10:29] Your services are no longer required. 你不用帮忙了
[10:33] * dum dum dum * 蹬蹬噔
[10:38] Hey,I’m sorry. I forgot you called. 喂 对不起 忘了回你电话
[10:40] Liz,are you in favor of our kids having a trampoline,or do you hate fun? Liz 你是否支持给我们的孩子买跳床
[10:44] What? No trampolines. 什么 不准买跳床
[10:45] They’re death traps and hymen demolishers. You know what happened to me. 跳床危险四伏还是处女膜破坏者 你知道我的故事的
[10:50] Okay,you know Tramp World,that place we thought was a peep show? 你还记得我们曾以为是 看窥视表演的那个流浪汉世界吗?
[10:53] It’s actually an awesome trampoline store. 其实是个超赞的跳床商店
[10:55] And Ladarius here gave me this pamphlet. Ladarius给我个册子
[10:57] Did you know that every year more people die from disease 你知道死于疾病和意外的总人数
[11:00] and accidents combined than from just trampoline accidents? 远大于仅死于跳床事故的人数吗?
[11:03] Wow,is this why you called me six times during my meeting? 这就是你在我开会期间六次来电的原因吗?
[11:05] Gee,sorry. 对不起
[11:06] Just trying to include you. 只是想让你也一起参与
[11:08] I thought we’d do all this stuff together,buying toys and gender-neutral toothbrushes. 我想我们一起做所有事 买玩具 买牙刷
[11:12] I mean,tramp world is all couples. 我是说 来逛流浪汉的都是一对对
[11:14] I’m the only single guy here,Liz, 只有我是只身一人来的 Liz
[11:15] except for Ladarius,whose wife died in a trampoline accident. Ladarius除外 他老婆死于跳床事故
[11:19] I’ll call you back. 我一会打回给你
[11:21] Stop. I hate it. 停下来 我讨厌这样
[11:24] Okay,Liz,we’re about to start writing. I swear! Liz 我发誓我们正准备写剧本
[11:27] No,of course you haven’t done anything. 你们肯定什么都没做好
[11:29] Why would I ever think that you would? 你们又怎么会做好呢?
[11:30] We did something,LL. 我们做了件事 L.L
[11:34] I play Gretchen Vanderhausen,a sexy,20-something president. 我饰演Gretchen Vanderhausen 二十出头的性感总统
[11:38] I play her siamese twin Nick,a down-on-his-luck but muscular Santa Claus. 我饰演她的连体婴Nick 倒霉但肌肉发达的圣诞老人
[11:42] The movie is being directed by Michael Ba… io,Scott Baio’s uncle. 这部电影由Michael Baio导演 Scott Baio的叔叔
[11:46] It comes out 13-13-13,which is January 13th,2014. 将在13-13-13上映 也就是2014年1月13日
[11:50] And the theme song will be,like,rap breakdown! 主题曲将与错乱的说唱差不多
[11:53] * Twins,twins,twins,twins *
[11:56] I know what you’re thinking,Liz, 我知道你在想什么 Liz
[11:58] but it is possible to have twins who are different races. 双胞胎不同肤色是可能出现的
[12:00] I saw it on Maury. 我在Maury秀上看到的
[12:01] It was a episode entitled,my obese toddler did my stepfather’s makeover. 有段叫 我家小胖孩对我继父的大改造
[12:05] We have two hours to save the show! 我们还剩两小时来保住节目
[12:08] But I guess I’ll just do it alone,again! 但我估计又得自己一人单干了
[12:10] I’ll ignore everything that’s going on in my life and save your jobs for you. 我会忽略我生命中的一切来为你们保住工作
[12:14] Just one question,out of curiosity… What would it take… 出于好奇问个问题 怎样才能…
[12:17] I just remembered,I gotta leave early. 才想起来 我要提前走
[12:18] What would it take for you people to ever step up and help me? Ever! 到底怎样才能让你们有担当和帮我的忙 到底怎样
[12:36] This is Studio 6 H. 这里是演播室6H
[12:38] Do you know what’s been shot on this stage? 你知道这舞台录制过什么节目吗?
[12:39] TGS,the Joey Montero show,the Lovebirds.
[12:42] And the moon landing. 还有登陆月球
[12:44] Right this way. 这边走
[12:54] – Hello,young man. – Damn it! – 你好 年轻人 – 见鬼
[12:56] My name is C. B. Essington. 我是C. B. Essington
[12:59] Now,listen to me carefully because I have a moral quandary for you. 仔细听我说 因为你将面临道德上的两难局面
[13:03] In Jack Donaghy’s office,there’s a brand-new script for a show that will change television. 在Jack Donaghy办公室 有个全新节目剧本将改变电视行业
[13:08] If you steal it for me,I promise you riches beyond your wildest dreams. 你帮我偷过来 保证你所得的钱超出你想象的极限
[13:15] What? No. 什么? 不行
[13:16] Parcell!
[13:19] He past the test,sir! 他通过测试了!
[13:21] He refused to betray the network by stealing the script for that show about the catering company! 他拒绝偷那个关于 餐饮公司的剧本来背叛电视台!
[13:26] * Welcome to a world of magic * * 欢迎来到神奇的世界 *
[13:29] Kenneth,you are very close to being back in a janitor’s uniform. Kenneth 你很快就要穿回清洁工的制服了
[13:33] Oh,please,no. That fabric was made from toilet-clog hair. 噢 不要啊 那制服是用厕所里的头发做的
[13:36] And there is nothing in the world that means more to me than this uniform. 而且在这世上 没有比这制服 对我来说更有意义的东西了
[13:41] You know how much I love this place,sir. 你知道我是有多爱这地方的
[13:43] You do peacock peacock. 你的确深深地爱着孔雀台
[13:45] So please listen to me when I tell you 所以请你听我说
[13:48] Mr.MacGuffin here is the man for the job. MacGuffin先生是最好的人选
[13:51] Actually,Kenneth,I agree. 实际上 Kenneth 我同意
[13:53] Charlie,tell Kenneth here why you know so much about NBC. Charlie 你跟Kenneth说说 为什么你会这么清楚NBC
[13:56] Well,you have to know how something works if you’re going to strip it for parts. 要是你准备把东西拆开的话 你就要知道它是怎么运作的
[14:00] – What? – Broadcast television is dying. – 什么? – 电视产业已经快完了
[14:02] The only move is to shut down the network,pull the copper out of the walls, 我们唯一要做的就是关门大吉 让电视台倒闭
[14:05] and turn this building into a forever 21. 然后把这楼变成永远21 (服装品牌)
[14:08] That’s what you would do to NBC? 这是你对NBC的计划吗?
[14:10] At some point,you gotta turn the horse into glue,Ken. 总有一天 你要狠下心来做你该做的事的 Ken
[14:12] That is a waste of delicious dead horse. 那简直是暴殄珍物
[14:15] Mr. Donaghy,don’t do this. Donaghy先生 请你不要这样做
[14:17] He may have a fancy degree,and know lots of business terms,like “meeting” and “envelope”. 或许他有一个漂亮的学位 还会用像”开会”和”信封”这样的商业词汇
[14:23] But if all he cares about is the bottom line,he’s not right for the job. 但要是他只想达到盈利 那他就不是你要找的人
[14:28] Kenneth,you also just described me. Kenneth 你刚刚描述的也是我啊
[14:31] Are you saying I wasn’t right for the job? 你是说我不适合做这份工作吗?
[14:35] No,sir. You were not. 是的 先生 你不适合
[14:43] I know you don’t mean that. 我不知道你说什么
[14:45] Kenneth?
[14:47] Awkward! 尴了个尬!
[14:53] What am I looking at? 这是什么?
[14:54] I’m just hair and eyes. It’s perfect. 我怎么就剩下头发和眼睛了 这太好了
[14:57] Pete,a word? Pete 过来
[15:00] I told you,we have to do everything on greenscreen. 我跟你说过我们要用绿幕来拍
[15:02] You’re the one who wrote- all this says is “what if the jolly green giant was horny?” 这不是你写的吗 “要是绿巨人有欲望怎么办?”
[15:06] It’s a note from our sponsor. 这是我们赞助商写的
[15:07] Booyah! 怎么样!
[15:12] Wait,what is that? Where’s the band? 等等 那是啥? 是乐队吗?
[15:15] We can’t afford a band… Or a union crew. 我们请不起乐队 还有工会群众
[15:17] So what,we’re using scabs? 所以我们只能用胡乱凑组合了?
[15:20] You’re not my girlfriend. You’re nobody’s girlfriend! 你不是我的女友 你谁的女友都不是!
[15:23] This is a disaster. 这真是个灾难啊
[15:24] I think it’s awesome,but full disclosure,I just drank ayahuasca. 我觉得这太棒了 不过坦白说 我刚才喝了死藤水
[15:31] Not a good time,Criss. 我没空啊 Criss
[15:32] You still at the office? Did you not get my messages? 你还在办公室吗? 你没收到我的信息吗?
[15:34] I haven’t had a second to do anything. 我没时间做任何事
[15:36] Do you know what I had for lunch today? 你知道我今天午饭吃了什么吗?
[15:37] Two pieces of pizza,a garden salad,a cup of soup,this cookie thing with a jelly center. 两片批萨 一个色拉 一碗汤 还有中间有果冻的曲奇
[15:42] I’m at JFK,Liz. The kids land in an hour. 我在机场啊 Liz 孩子们一个小时后就到了
[15:45] – What? – Bev’s email had it backwards. – 什么? – Bev在邮件里写反了
[15:47] They’re not coming in on 1/29 on Flight 124. 他们不是1月29日搭124班机
[15:49] They’re coming in on 1/24 on Flight 129. 而是1月24号搭129班机
[15:51] – Oh,my God,they’re coming. – They’re coming,Liz. – 天啊 他们来了 – 他们来了 Liz
[15:54] The Kabletown board,they’re on their way up. Kebletown的董事会 已经在路上了
[15:58] Ii can’t go. I can’t leave work. 我不能去 我要工作
[16:01] No,what are you talking about? You have to. 不 你在说什么呢? 你必须要来的
[16:02] Compromises,Criss.Okay,so I won’t be there when we meet our kids for the first time…so what? 妥协吧 Criss 就算我没有出现在和孩子们 第一次见面的时刻 那又怎么样呢?
[16:07] I’ll be around for lots of other stuff. 别的很多事情我都会在场的
[16:09] I mean,how important is being there this one time? 这一次不在有什么关系呢
[16:12] It’s really important,Liz! You know that. 你知道这很重要的 Liz! 你知道
[16:14] I also know that everyone here is counting on me to save their jobs right now. 我也知道这里每个人都 等着我来拯救他们的饭碗
[16:18] And nobody else can do it because,damn it, 因为别人都不能胜任 靠
[16:20] this is Bro Body Douche presents the Man Cave,and I am Todd Debeikis! 这是Bro Body Douche为您带来的 “男人的山洞” 我是Todd Debeikis
[16:25] No. 不是吧
[16:29] Guys,I’m worried about Todd. 各位 我有点为Todd担心呢
[16:34] I’m extraordinarily busy,Kenneth. 我很忙 Kenneth
[16:36] I assume you’ve made your decision. 我想你已经做好决定了
[16:37] – Yes,I have. – Very well. – 是的 我决定了 – 很好
[16:39] But you should know that I refuse to watch this network get torn apart. 但你要知道我拒绝看着这家电视台分崩离析
[16:44] – Kenneth… – You Kenneth! – 你才Kenneth呢!
[16:46] As much as it pains me,I have no choice but to quit the page program. 虽然我很痛苦 但我不得不辞去听差工作
[16:59] So shines a goon’s deed in a weary world. 罪恶的世界里有蠢货的善行之光足矣
[17:03] Kenneth.
[17:06] Seven years,and I’ve never gotten it right. 七年了 我从没把工作做好
[17:09] Every show I was sure would succeed… failed. 我满心以为会成功的节目…都失败了
[17:12] I mean,the monkey was funny,damn it. 猴子还挺有意思的 靠
[17:14] And then,when I tired to tank the network so Hank would sell it… 然后 我试图草草对付电视台 让Hank把电视台卖掉…
[17:16] – What’s that now? – I actually made it better. – 那现在呢? – 我让电视台变得更好了
[17:18] Homonym is the first U. S. TV show to be broadcast in Iran. “同音词”是第一个在伊朗播放的美国节目
[17:22] Kalamayeh badee hast “Sheer. ” “Sheer.” (鸟语) “Sheer ” “Sheer”
[17:25] Chashp… uh… “Sheer” mesle gorbeh ye bozorg. (鸟语)…呃… “Sheer” (仍然是鸟语)
[17:28] Nah. Ooh yekee deegast. (鸟语在继续)
[17:30] Khak to saret! (还是鸟语)
[17:32] Unlike every other place I’ve ever worked,this business makes no sense. 不像我工作过的其他地方 这行业毫无逻辑
[17:38] And it doesn’t matter if you went to Harvard business school or… 不管你上了哈佛商学院还是…
[17:41] Your college mascot and president was a bear in a hat? 你大学的吉祥物和校长是头戴帽子的熊
[17:44] Exactly. This industry is totally irrational. 没错 电视行业太疯狂了
[17:48] So if all my credentials and degrees and experience don’t matter, 如果我的资质学历和经验都不重要
[17:53] that means the only qualification for this job is…loving television. 那说明这份工作的资格要求就是… 热爱电视
[17:58] What are you saying,sir? 你在说什么呢? 先生
[17:59] I’m saying I’m finally going to do something for this network that I know is right. 我是说我终于要做点有利于电视台的事了
[18:04] You like NBC,don’t you,Kenneth? 你喜欢NBC 对吧? Kenneth
[18:06] Oh,I think it’s the most wonderful place in the whole wide world. 喔 我觉得这是世界上最好的地方
[18:09] Good. 很好
[18:12] Because I’m giving it to you. 因为我要把它交给你
[18:15] The whole thing. 所有的一切
[18:16] You’re the next president of the National Broadcasting Company. 你就是全国广播公司的下任总裁
[18:43] *****
[18:45] Welcome to the Man Cave. 欢迎来到男人洞
[18:48] TV for your peen. 给雄性看的电视节目
[18:50] R. I. P.,Todd. 安息吧 Todd
[18:56] Why isn’t he in costume? 他为啥没穿戏服
[18:57] Ladies and gentlemen of the Kabletown board,I quit. Kabletown董事会的女士们先生们 我不干了
[19:02] – So do I. – What the hell are you doing? – 我也不干了 – 你们在搞什么飞机啊
[19:05] They’re replaceable… we can get David Alan Grier and Miss Piggy. 他俩可有可无… 我们可以找来David Alan Grier和猪小姐
[19:08] I’ll tell you what we’re doing,LL. 我来告诉你我们要干嘛吧 LL
[19:10] We’re finally stepping up. 我们终于站出来了
[19:12] This show is a disaster. 这个节目太差劲了
[19:13] Except for the very moving Todd Debeikis tribute. 除了向Todd Debeikis致敬那个很感人的一句
[19:16] Todd,we’ll miss you. Todd 我们会想念你的
[19:20] I know you want to save TGS,Lemon head,but there is no TGS to save. 我知道你想拯救TGS 柠檬头 但是TGS已经不在了
[19:24] And you should be at the airport right now picking up your chili. 你现在该在机场接你的辣椒
[19:27] – Children,Tracy. – Children? – 接孩子 Tracy – 孩子?
[19:29] Why the hell are you still here? 你干嘛还呆在这儿啊
[19:31] We knew you’d never give up,so for once, 我们知道你永远都不放弃的 这一次
[19:33] let us step up and do what we do best…nothing. 就让我们站出来做我们最擅长的事… 什么也不做
[19:37] You’re doing this for me? 你们这么做是为了我吗?
[19:39] We all are. 我们都是
[19:40] I quit,Liz. 我不干了 Liz
[19:42] Me too. 我也是
[19:45] – I quit. – Mommy’s baby quits. – 我辞职 – 妈妈的小宝贝辞职
[19:48] I actually quit two years ago. 我其实两年前就辞职了
[19:50] Subhas out. Suck it! Subhas不干了 怎么着
[19:59] Get out of here,lady! 快走啊 女士
[20:08] I hit that. 我看上她了
[20:15] Hang on. Is that them? 等会 是他们吗
[20:17] – Is that the twins? – No way! – 那是双胞胎吗 – 不是吧
[20:18] *****
[20:20] So it is possible. 所以这是可能的咯
[20:22] Yeah,I saw it on Maury. 对 我在Maury秀上看到过
[20:27] Is that a camera? I’m gonna need you on my good side. 那是相机吗? 我要你照我好看那边
[20:33] What up,Liz Lemon? 怎么样啊 Liz Lemon
[20:34] I will not be able to attend school tomorrow because of an issue with my lizard. 我明天不能去上学了 因为蜥蜴的关系
[20:40] That seems about right. 人生终于走上正轨了
[20:53] * Welcome to a world of magic * * 欢迎来到魔法世界*
[20:56] * Where this nifty gadget full of batteries can funtertain your life * * 这只满电的遥控器可以娱乐你的生活 *
[21:01] * welcome to a world of wonder * * 欢迎来到奇迹世界 *
[21:05] * moving at the speed of light * * 以光速运行 *
[21:07] * Press that button and invite * * 按下这个键 *
[21:09] * As *** to your home ’cause you must see * * 你必须见证惊喜时刻 *
[21:13] * A world of magic * *一个魔法世界*
[21:16] * N B C * *尽在 N B C *
[21:27] 30 ROCK Season 07 Episode 11
我为喜剧狂

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